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Blessedly Boring

10/28/2020

I’ve gone from wondering what’s next to enjoying the simplicity of what is “right now” in my life. What happened? I got knocked out by a vicious sinus infection right after my last blog entry. In healing from that, I realized that what I really needed to heal my soul wasn’t do more, but to simply be what I am, and allow life to flow from here where it will. I need contentment where I am. You can’t have more if you don’t fully realize or appreciate what you have.

It’s blessedly boring these days, and I'm grateful for it. After the chaotic summer that I had, boring is just what the doctor ordered and I really needed it. I’ve never understood why some people are addicted to stirring up drama, or staying on the go constantly. Life brings you enough of all that. I certainly don’t have time for it if it’s avoidable!

I know it’s cool to roll your eyes, sigh deeply, and say “I’m so busy!” while you rush away from the people asking how you’re doing. It implies that you’re important and don’t have time for anything but what you deem worthy. I truly pity that, because when life is farming out pieces of yourself then you can’t have any true “peace” in your life.

Then again, that’s just my perspective after coming though a tough season of life. I live a real life and am not
ashamed of who I am, what I am, or what my life is. I’ve worked hard to create it, and pray that I’m a testimony of authenticity and contentment. My recent loss has driven home the fact (even more) that I am what I am by the grace of God, and that I am exactly where I need to be. And honestly, that’s a pretty good place. I don’t need to be a master of the universe, or to have a perfect life. I see that what is already is perfect for me, and I find contentment in that.

I could do without the grief, of course, but no life is perfect. Grief is something that all of us go through repeatedly, and it helps us to grow. I know it’s helped me to mature in some ways (that were badly needed), and I think it’s even helped me to seem more “real” to more people since I can relate to more now than I could before. Life ebbs and flows. You can’t appreciate the blessings of the flow unless you have the perspective from the ebb. It’s impossible for a life to be full if you deny or hide half of what it is. Not that I’m saying you have to advertise everything that happens to you, but you should at least be honest and authentic about it.

I think a lot of finding peace and contentment comes from that. It’s going to always be some darn thing. The secret is realizing how much it matters. Work stress and other life issues to keep it rolling seem pretty insignificant if everybody is healthy and humming along as normal (and without major issues). Honestly, I’m glad to have that perspective. I’m coming up on a deadline that comes up every other year at work, and let me tell you that this time is much different than last time. Two years ago, it was a chaotic, stressful mess. Now – nobody’s sick or dying, so we’ll be ok. It will happen. It’s not worth anxiety, frustration, headaches, and lost sleep. I pray I keep this perspective forever. It came at a high price, and I don’t want to lose it.

I think that’s normal on the backside of tragedy. You realize what matters and appreciate even what seems mundane. And I need mundane now, very much. I feel like Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit – no adventures! I need peace right now. Boring is welcome. Routine is welcome. It’s healing me, and I am embracing it and giving thanks for it as much as I can.

I’m not idle. Actually, I’m getting ready to embark on a major rewrite of The Sentience Series in November. That will be my focus for November: to get Domino (Book One) in a good final form based on the final review that I received last week, and to get some solid rewrites on the other three novellas in the series. Writers have to prepare to dive into these major projects, and having a full time job requires a lot of organization to make sure you keep it all rolling and on track. Life doesn’t stop because you’re writing. The key is to do what you can to set things up right, stay organized, and keep people and things from screaming too loud while you’re in your own little world.

In other words, keep it boring. Dear universe: this is not a challenge. If you’re reaching for the stirring stick, I break it in the power of the Holy Spirit. We don’t have time for that. We have stuff to do.

Boring stuff to do in quiet and out of sight, which is ok. Who wants to be the center of attention all the time? That’s exhausting. To me, it’s better to be free and walk the path before you – no matter how dull it may seem.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

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Hanging From a Tree Branch

10/15/2020

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I was watching a Joyce Meyer message on being patient with yourself when she mentioned one of the metaphors that so many people like to use for transformation: a butterfly. I'm sure you know the process of how a caterpillar builds a cocoon clinging to a tree branch, to emerge as a beautiful butterfly. And the point of how that period of "waiting" in the cocoon and fighting it's way out is critical to it's emergence and survival into a more beautiful being.

Yea, we know it. We know how the imagery is applied to dealing with life trials too. No need to repeat it here.

I think COVID-19 has put many of us in a place where we feel like we're hanging from a tree branch, waiting for the time to emerge. Quarantine certainly forced us into a cocoon, and while we are venturing out somewhat with safety precautions (masks, social distancing, etc), I daresay that I don't believe I'd quite call this an emergence yet. The metamorphosis isn't done for us. In fact, it will likely be a while longer before the world goes back to something where we don't fear the virus getting us. It took two years with the Spanish flu outbreak of 1918, and with cases rising again I think history is definitely repeating itself.

So here we are, hanging from a tree branch, wondering what to make of life in this crazy time. Wondering what the point is. Wondering what will become of us and the world once this passes. It will pass - we just don't know when, or what we'll be once it does.

I had a couple of disappointments hit me this week. I had hoped to enter my rose cutting cross stitch in the State Fair this year. I actually planned to enter it last year, but that two phase bout of conjunctivitis had my eyes messed up for four and a half months, and I wasn't able to complete it in time. I did finish and frame it just before COVID-19 and all the restrictions hit in March, but to no avail, as the State Fair was reduced to a drive-through event to get food and no competition exhibits this year. So not only am I grieving over missing it last year, but now it's been canned this year too because of COVID. Bummer.

Then I got hit again when I was checking my fall schedule, and learned that the Christmas Craftsman Classic, a huge craft show that Mom and I attend every year in November, has been cancelled. I was really disappointed by that, because I love that show! It's something I look forward to every year. We were lucky to make their spring show in March - like the cross stitch, that show was the first weekend of the month and was just before things shut down. I'm very glad we went now. It looks like it will be a while before that returns.

Everybody else has been complaining about missing haircuts and vacations, and I'm lamenting my art. I guess there are advantages to being a boring middle-age person. I haven't had any major life events displaced. Just the small things that mean a lot.

Of course I understand why these things were reduced and cancelled. We do need to take proper precautions. It's just like I always say about not appreciating how much those little things mean until they too are disrupted. I'm sure both the State Fair and the Christmas Classic will be back, and we'll rejoice and appreciate it with a full heart of gratitude. Whenever that is.

Until then, here I am hanging on the tree branch, waiting on the Lord to work. All you can really do is have faith in times like these, and do what you can. So I continue to work on my writing, and my current cross stitch project, and plug along every day. That's what the tree branch is about, I suppose. Just hanging in there and doing your best in faith that one day, all will emerge into beautiful blessings tomorrow. It's not exciting, but in reality it does matter. Small things today, big results tomorrow. Isn't that how life goes?

That's all today. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!

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One More Time Around

10/6/2020

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Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

This Bible verse has come to me many times over the past few days. In fact, it is one of my favorite verses that I’ve come to see in a new light, both because of personal circumstances and the collective experience that has been COVID-19.

I think the issue of “pressing forward” is something that we’re all grappling with these days. 2020 has been a year for the history books, and not in a good way. We’ve all faced strange circumstances and turmoil, and likely there are a lot of you out there who have faced personal issues in the midst of this chaos. It hasn’t been easy as everything we’ve known has been turned upside down. Letting go of what’s behind is hard enough, but how do we strain ahead, especially when we don’t know what that goal is?

This is a question I believe we all face. In fact, while writing this blog, I heard Soundgarden's "The Day I Tried to Live," and thought it a perfect theme song for 2020. We try to live, only to learn things about ourselves and the world around us that are revealing and surprising. In March all of a sudden all that was normal - wasn't. Now what does it all mean?
Whether you were or are considering life changes or not, change has come to all of us. We keep hearing the phrase “new normal,” but what does this mean in general? Or better yet, to us personally? What if you're content with the life you have, and you don’t know what all of this 2020 chaos means for staying the course?

Sometimes change comes for you, whether you want it or not. I can honestly say that out of all the change I’ve seen in my 45 years on this Earth, most of it came to me. Sure, there were things I pursued, but on the whole, most of the change I’ve experienced was not stuff I was actively striving for. Something happened to thrust me into a new season, and I had to adapt. Now, the unpredictability of COVID-19 has put us all in that boat. Whether you wanted change or not, it’s here. And if you were pursuing it, your plans were likely derailed, and you’ve had to adjust. Maybe it was less than you expected, not what you expected, or perhaps it didn’t happen at all. Life’s like that, and it’s been happening at quite a rate of “what the heck’s” a minute these past few months. So we wrestle with the question of creating a better life when we don’t know what we’re striving for. Or where we’re headed. Or, in some cases, where we are right now.

This is what walking by faith is truly about. And the answer is really simple. All we really need to do is be obedient to the prompting of the Spirit on our life day by day. This is a time where the day of small things are what we have, and how that adds up to a better life depends on our ability to make that daily walk well.

I often talk about taking advantage of opportunity and being diligent about small things, but in prayer I’ve seen that’s become a primary issue in these uncertain times. We literally don’t know what’s going to happen in the coming weeks or months. Today is the best we have. It’s a nightmare for planners (like myself), who like to map things out and plan ahead. Now we’re learning to loosen our grip and trust in our “Holy Spirit” instincts to guide us day by day. You can try to do things the old way and see if they work, but if they don’t, then you better hold things loosely and be ready to try a new way for a new day.

Others are looking through the other end of the glass and realizing that they need to get moving on goals and dreams deferred. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that more people are flocking toward planning for things they thought they’d do later, like achieving personal, goals, gaining professional credentials, buying homes, getting further education, or even (ironically) funeral planning (yes, that has picked up in the age of COVID-19, as I’ve learned from Dad’s recent passing). Heck, even I’ve taken advantage of the quarantine to pursue writing goals and projects that I thought I wouldn’t have time or opportunity to pursue for months. My writing has benefitted most from this COVID crisis, as I’ve pressed on to accelerate my writing schedule simply because I can, and have achieved some goals that I probably wouldn’t have found if not for the extra time from the quarantine situation these past few months. Wise people take advantage of opportunity, even if it’s born of unfortunate circumstances. I’m glad people are looking forward and planning ahead, even if we have to balance the see-saw of unpredictable circumstances that may tilt our efforts in ways we don’t anticipate.

So what to do? Our best every day, that’s what. As the song says, keep going one more time around. Actually, this is a good way to live every day whether we’re in a worldwide crisis or not, but I think our eyes are finally open to see this now. No, we may not be able to clearly see our tomorrow, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we commit to walking in obedient faith to do our best every day. That’s what makes the small things add up to a better life. That’s what puts this mosaic into a better picture of unimagined blessing, joy, contentment, and abundance for tomorrow. That’s how we not only stand, but manage to thrive, despite times that try to break us down.

So hang in there. One more time around (might do it).

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

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Moving Right Along

10/1/2020

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The muse hasn’t left the building, but he’s definitely fallen asleep in the recliner while watching Dateline (or some other crime-solving TV show). I shouldn’t be surprised. I always get writer’s block after I finish a major writing project and, despite the chaos that has been 2020, my muse has been quite productive this year. Two anthology stories accepted, three book awards, and a four novella series drafted is excellent progress for a year. In fact, my writing has probably fared the best in the chaos these past few months. But he, like everything else, burns out from time to time. I get it. I’m not one of those writers who doesn’t believe in writer’s block if you’re a “real writer.” I live a “real life,” where burnout can happen even with things you love. So I grant my muse the grace of the rest he needs, and move on to other things like reading and counted cross stitching. People think I have too much going on, but there are advantages to that. If one things slows down or doesn’t do well, you have other things to keep engaged and creative. So now, I enjoy my cross stitching. I’d like to get back to writing and working on short stories, but I know the inspiration will return. And there’s always book promotion to work on as well. October through January are prime book selling season where I (and all other writers) make the best sales of the year, so that will keep me engaged in writing in a different way for the next few months.

I used to take a “writing sabbatical” during the final quarter of the year. That was back in the days before self publishing and writing fiction, when the inspirational markets would close submissions in November and December. My, how things have changed in the past ten years, and not just because I switched to fiction and got published. Self publishing and ebooks have really changed things in the writing industry. Now, it’s more of a “switching gears” from actual writing to promotion and reaching readers. I still write new stuff at the end of the year, but I tend to focus more on revisions, edits, or shorter works during this time. Except the one year I did National Novel Writing Month in November which was great, but intense. I don’t think I could handle that again with a full time job but hey, I never say never. Maybe someday. Just not today.

My writing isn’t the only thing shaken up these days. I seem to have a bad case of nostalgia. Things from my childhood keep coming back to me. It’s mostly little things, like hearing country music songs that my parents listened to, or catching snippets of TV shows and commercials that were popular in the early 80’s, or even the scent of Oil of Olay soap and Palmolive dish soap that my parents and grandparents used back in the day. I even caught myself saying “moving right along” (from The Muppet Movie) on a busy day this week. It's not just childhood, either, Snippets of memory from high school, college, and my 20's and 30's come back as well (as evidenced in the previous paragraph). Regression, maybe? There’s something nostalgic about the fall, probably all of the memory ques from school and holidays. Or it could be part of my grieving process from losing Dad and the cousin I was close to in childhood this summer. I often say I believe I had the happiest childhood possible, so naturally I probably look back to those days for the joy and security of that time in my life. I guess an identity crisis is natural after loss, and the first step is that you look back to who you were to figure out who you are now. 45 seems kind of old to have an identity crisis, but here I am killing it. And, I suppose, it never really ends. Life goes on and redefines itself, and you. Change is constant. We’re always figuring out life and how we fit into it. Sometimes are just more active and apparent than others.

But the present marches on, and I am making an active effort to move right along with it. It seems it’s been busy trying to get things taken care of, wrapped up, or put in motion for the new year. Another hallmark of the final quarter of the year. Time to renew stuff, check stuff, set stuff up for 2021. And, of course, your flu shot. Heck, I even wrote Quarantine about a misadventure with that. It was the first fiction piece I wrote, and will always be close to my heart. But look, there goes that nostalgia again. Good grief, send help!

Honestly, I’m plugging along well these days. Ups and downs, but on the whole it seems I’m adjusting well. At least I’m having good days now, and sleeping better. That’s good. Any progress is. They say grief is an active process, and I’m trying to stay active and engaged. The road to life goes ever on - didn't they say that, or something like it, in either The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings? There's that darn nostalgia again - I really need to get a grip! Focus, Sherri! Here and now! You're in it to win it!

I am determined to come out of this stronger, better, more mature, and to find contentment and joy again. I already see glimpses of it. I know it's possible and will find my way to whoever I'm meant to be now.

So that's where it's at today. Just the ramblings of day to day life that, I hope, will lead to inspiration for short stories in the future. I do need more marketable stories. Now I just wait for the muse to wake up. It will happen. It always does.

That’s all today. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!

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Blessedly Boring

Hanging From a Tree Branch

One More Time Around

Moving Right Along

Escape Reality

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