I try not to let you see me like I was last night. In fact, last night definitely qualified as an "offline" night, because I had enough. Two days in the hot sun working on the framework for that deck had me beat and busted. A regular exercise routine and a desk job definitely didn't prepare me for that kind of manual labor. It was hard work, both because we were unaccustomed to it, and because in it's own way, it is hard. Building that frame isn't slapping boards together and calling it done. You have to level the boards and line them up - no easy task when you're spatially challenged (like me) and your lot is on a slope that gets more drastic the further you get from the house. By seven o'clock, we were sitting in Chili's over margaritas with me lamenting that this deck project was my worst idea ever.
Rick's response: "we're so far in now that the only way out is through. Right now, it would be easier to finish it than to quit."
That's true. It also reminded me of all the times that Dad asked me "are you going to let this beat you?" when I talked to him about things getting hard.
It happens to us all. Without fail, we will face resistance when we try to achieve goals. Anything worth doing is going to be work, and that work is always harder than we anticipate. Resistance always comes, and eventually, you come to a point where you really do have to break on through to the other side. And times like this are when the song "Take This Job and Shove It" seem to resonate with you on so many levels.
So what do you do? I think there are three things you need to realize in times like this to keep pushing along when the going gets tough:
1. You've hit the limits of your knowledge/skills/abilities, and you need to rest so you can garner strength to move on to new levels. Life is a never ending learning experience, and getting stretched is tough. I think we need to realize that our desire to quit is probably more from frustration over our limits and fatigue over discovering that you have more to do, and doubting your ability to do it. My frustration yesterday was definitely the result of fatigue. After two days of having to do nearly everything twice because we kept making mistakes in 90 degree heat, I wasn't just frustrated, I was physically exhausted. I have no doubt that we kept making the mistakes because the heat was making us physically tired, which affected our ability to focus and remember how to do it right like we learned when we did Phase 1 of this a month and a half ago. So we called a halt, and decided we'd take today off the deck work to do other housework and to reset ourselves. 24 hours out of that blazing heat and humidity have done wonders for my physical and mental state.
2. You have to strengthen yourself in the Lord. One good thing about daily Bible reading is that you remember things that pertain to your situation with little effort. When I was praying over this situation when I went to bed last night, I remembered the story of how David came back from a campaign to find his home had been raided and all the women and children were carried off. The men were so discouraged that they wanted to kill him, but the Bible says "he (David) strengthened himself in the Lord" and went after the raiders, which he and his men found, defeated, and retrieved all of their family and stuff from. The point? Don't count on others to encourage you. Most people are up to their eyeballs with their own problems, and can't see past that to give you an objective opinion anyway. Pray about things so you can see if this resistance is Holy Intervention to stop you from making a mistake, or routine life-crap that you need to work through (which is most often the case).
3. Sometimes, you have to get rebellious. I'm a practical person, but I also have enough sense to know when to say to hell with, ignore the excuses, and go for it. That is, after all, how I wound out becoming an independent author and a book reviewer. Rick and I decided to build this deck because we've wanted one for years, but we came to the realization that at our salary level, we'd never be able to hire it out without taking out a loan, which we're adamantly opposed to. Our options were to dismiss it as a fine idea that would never happen, or do it ourselves, at cost, which was possible if we were willing to build on what we learned rebuilding the deck at our old house and investing the time to do it. Well, you know me - I'm not one that's willing to give up a fine idea! So there you have it. We're definitely in over our heads. But you know what? It's happening! I don't care about the funny looks people give me, or the "do you know what you're doing?" questions. No, we definitely do not know what we're doing! Building from scratch is radically different from repairing an existing structure, which we are learning. But we're in it now and, as Rick said, we've progressed so far now that we might as well finish it. Because at this point, quitting would be more stupid than all we've already done.
And really, all of this boils down to one question: am I going to let the devil win? Hell, no!
That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.
Bye!
Rick's response: "we're so far in now that the only way out is through. Right now, it would be easier to finish it than to quit."
That's true. It also reminded me of all the times that Dad asked me "are you going to let this beat you?" when I talked to him about things getting hard.
It happens to us all. Without fail, we will face resistance when we try to achieve goals. Anything worth doing is going to be work, and that work is always harder than we anticipate. Resistance always comes, and eventually, you come to a point where you really do have to break on through to the other side. And times like this are when the song "Take This Job and Shove It" seem to resonate with you on so many levels.
So what do you do? I think there are three things you need to realize in times like this to keep pushing along when the going gets tough:
1. You've hit the limits of your knowledge/skills/abilities, and you need to rest so you can garner strength to move on to new levels. Life is a never ending learning experience, and getting stretched is tough. I think we need to realize that our desire to quit is probably more from frustration over our limits and fatigue over discovering that you have more to do, and doubting your ability to do it. My frustration yesterday was definitely the result of fatigue. After two days of having to do nearly everything twice because we kept making mistakes in 90 degree heat, I wasn't just frustrated, I was physically exhausted. I have no doubt that we kept making the mistakes because the heat was making us physically tired, which affected our ability to focus and remember how to do it right like we learned when we did Phase 1 of this a month and a half ago. So we called a halt, and decided we'd take today off the deck work to do other housework and to reset ourselves. 24 hours out of that blazing heat and humidity have done wonders for my physical and mental state.
2. You have to strengthen yourself in the Lord. One good thing about daily Bible reading is that you remember things that pertain to your situation with little effort. When I was praying over this situation when I went to bed last night, I remembered the story of how David came back from a campaign to find his home had been raided and all the women and children were carried off. The men were so discouraged that they wanted to kill him, but the Bible says "he (David) strengthened himself in the Lord" and went after the raiders, which he and his men found, defeated, and retrieved all of their family and stuff from. The point? Don't count on others to encourage you. Most people are up to their eyeballs with their own problems, and can't see past that to give you an objective opinion anyway. Pray about things so you can see if this resistance is Holy Intervention to stop you from making a mistake, or routine life-crap that you need to work through (which is most often the case).
3. Sometimes, you have to get rebellious. I'm a practical person, but I also have enough sense to know when to say to hell with, ignore the excuses, and go for it. That is, after all, how I wound out becoming an independent author and a book reviewer. Rick and I decided to build this deck because we've wanted one for years, but we came to the realization that at our salary level, we'd never be able to hire it out without taking out a loan, which we're adamantly opposed to. Our options were to dismiss it as a fine idea that would never happen, or do it ourselves, at cost, which was possible if we were willing to build on what we learned rebuilding the deck at our old house and investing the time to do it. Well, you know me - I'm not one that's willing to give up a fine idea! So there you have it. We're definitely in over our heads. But you know what? It's happening! I don't care about the funny looks people give me, or the "do you know what you're doing?" questions. No, we definitely do not know what we're doing! Building from scratch is radically different from repairing an existing structure, which we are learning. But we're in it now and, as Rick said, we've progressed so far now that we might as well finish it. Because at this point, quitting would be more stupid than all we've already done.
And really, all of this boils down to one question: am I going to let the devil win? Hell, no!
That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.
Bye!
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