There's no doubt that the past year and a half has been tough on us. It seems it's been one challenge after the next. Still, I can't say that the valleys of life are without their merit. You do appreciate the blessings you do find along the way, and there's a lot to learn from them. Here are a few things I've learned from the going getting tough:
1. Take one day at a time. If you focus on your lousy luck or being in a "bad season of life," then it makes things worse. Yes, bad things come and bad days happen, but if you get stuck in a mindset then you'll be defeated far longer than necessary. The best thing you can do is what is possible for you to do today. Then you don't need to worry about tomorrow, because you've done all you can and that you will be supplied with what you need to face it when the timing is right.
2. Let things go. Live long enough, and everybody and everything in your life will disappoint you, go wrong, or piss you off. You must have the discernment to know what's an abnormal aggravation to ignore, and what's a serious problem that needs to be dealt with. The truth is that we waste a lot of energy going to the mat for things that will pass in a moment, and trying to sweep things under the rug that would be better dealt with sooner rather than later. Here's a good tip: if it passes out of your life, then it's best to let it go and focus on what's still around. Don't let quitters, offenders, and minor irritations rock your world when they'll be on their way faster than lightening. In other words:
3. Act, don't react. Knee jerk reactions rarely make the kind of positive impact that you really need to make life better. Take the time to consider things and decide the best course of action. This goes double for times when emotions are charged and running high - you just can't make rational decisions in that state of mind. Be realistic enough to know yourself and how you typically react, and take the time to stop yourself and ask if what you're about to say or do is in proportion to the situation. It's not easy at first, but it does become more routine the more you do it.
4. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You really do need to be careful here and make sure that you don't do it indiscriminately, because people are more likely to give you a pass if you don't ask for one all the time. Still, it's alright to say "I need to sit this one out" or "I need a helping hand here" if you're overwhelmed and there's no alignment of Heaven and Earth that can make what needs to happen become a reality. We all do need to bail out sometimes. And remember: the grace you give is the grace you get. The more willing you are to help out others in their need, the more willing they are to help you.
5. Change your thinking and you can change your world. The power of positive thinking isn't just new-age mumbo-jumbo; it actually works. If you dedicate yourself to finding the best in any situation and learning from it, then it's much easier to get through the tough times. Even if you find yourself sitting in a room planning a funeral, you can take comfort in knowing that this is temporary and life will go on and return to normal in time. Nothing lasts forever, and you can usually take something from it, whether it's a lesson, helping others, improving life, or planning for the future.
6. Be grateful for your blessings. No matter how bad it gets; it could be worse. In regard to the previous suggestion, the best way to change your thinking is to choose to focus on what's right in your life instead of what's wrong. Even if your life is in shambles, the best way to rebuild it is to pick up the pieces that work and start putting them together into something new - and the sooner you start that process, the faster you'll find ourself out of the valley and on the mountaintop.
7. Stop believing in luck. Frankly, that's a cop-out. I get irritated when people ask "why do bad things happen to good people?" when if they were truly the Christians they proclaim to be, then they'd know that The Bible says "time and chance happen to us all" (Eccleasiastes 9:11). I don't believe in luck because that places you at the whim of fate and can make you a bitter person. Instead, believe it's God will or it isn't. It's easier to cope when you believe a Greater Power is in charge instead of blind forces converging where ever.
8. Mind your own business. Nobody's going to take your advice on how to fix their life if yours is a hot mess, so don't bother. Tend to your own matters, and give others the grace to be who they are. If they're adults, then they have the capacity to take care of themselves and their own affairs, so trust them to do so. Plus, not everything works for everybody. All paths may run ill and there are no guarantees that what works for one will work for another. Truthfully, I stopped giving advice years ago, and I find I get along with people a lot better since I broke that nasty habit of spewing out unsolicited advice and opinions.
9. Stop Muti-Tasking. That's a trend that needs to die. Just as "a jack of all trades is a master of none," so too is it impossible to do several things at once well. I actually found that I'm a lot more productive when I focus on completing one thing at a time, because I make fewer mistakes that I have to go back and correct. Do one thing at a time, and group like tasks together. Focus is the key to accomplishing more in life.
10. Remember that all things pass in time. C.S. Lewis described "The Law of Undulation" in his book The Screwtape Letters. This states that life is a series of ups and downs, peaks and valleys, and you're always at some point on the wave. If things are good, then you're at a peak so enjoy it. If you're in a valley, know that the only place left is to go up and find hope in that. Nothing lasts forever and in fact, the nature of the universe is change. Stop fearing it, and you may find that your greatest achievements come from the things that knocked you down the hardest.
Honestly, I could write a dissertation on all I've learned, but I think this list hits the high points. At least, these are the main things that have helped me to keep going, and are hopefully lighting the path to better days ahead.
That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.
Bye!
1. Take one day at a time. If you focus on your lousy luck or being in a "bad season of life," then it makes things worse. Yes, bad things come and bad days happen, but if you get stuck in a mindset then you'll be defeated far longer than necessary. The best thing you can do is what is possible for you to do today. Then you don't need to worry about tomorrow, because you've done all you can and that you will be supplied with what you need to face it when the timing is right.
2. Let things go. Live long enough, and everybody and everything in your life will disappoint you, go wrong, or piss you off. You must have the discernment to know what's an abnormal aggravation to ignore, and what's a serious problem that needs to be dealt with. The truth is that we waste a lot of energy going to the mat for things that will pass in a moment, and trying to sweep things under the rug that would be better dealt with sooner rather than later. Here's a good tip: if it passes out of your life, then it's best to let it go and focus on what's still around. Don't let quitters, offenders, and minor irritations rock your world when they'll be on their way faster than lightening. In other words:
3. Act, don't react. Knee jerk reactions rarely make the kind of positive impact that you really need to make life better. Take the time to consider things and decide the best course of action. This goes double for times when emotions are charged and running high - you just can't make rational decisions in that state of mind. Be realistic enough to know yourself and how you typically react, and take the time to stop yourself and ask if what you're about to say or do is in proportion to the situation. It's not easy at first, but it does become more routine the more you do it.
4. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You really do need to be careful here and make sure that you don't do it indiscriminately, because people are more likely to give you a pass if you don't ask for one all the time. Still, it's alright to say "I need to sit this one out" or "I need a helping hand here" if you're overwhelmed and there's no alignment of Heaven and Earth that can make what needs to happen become a reality. We all do need to bail out sometimes. And remember: the grace you give is the grace you get. The more willing you are to help out others in their need, the more willing they are to help you.
5. Change your thinking and you can change your world. The power of positive thinking isn't just new-age mumbo-jumbo; it actually works. If you dedicate yourself to finding the best in any situation and learning from it, then it's much easier to get through the tough times. Even if you find yourself sitting in a room planning a funeral, you can take comfort in knowing that this is temporary and life will go on and return to normal in time. Nothing lasts forever, and you can usually take something from it, whether it's a lesson, helping others, improving life, or planning for the future.
6. Be grateful for your blessings. No matter how bad it gets; it could be worse. In regard to the previous suggestion, the best way to change your thinking is to choose to focus on what's right in your life instead of what's wrong. Even if your life is in shambles, the best way to rebuild it is to pick up the pieces that work and start putting them together into something new - and the sooner you start that process, the faster you'll find ourself out of the valley and on the mountaintop.
7. Stop believing in luck. Frankly, that's a cop-out. I get irritated when people ask "why do bad things happen to good people?" when if they were truly the Christians they proclaim to be, then they'd know that The Bible says "time and chance happen to us all" (Eccleasiastes 9:11). I don't believe in luck because that places you at the whim of fate and can make you a bitter person. Instead, believe it's God will or it isn't. It's easier to cope when you believe a Greater Power is in charge instead of blind forces converging where ever.
8. Mind your own business. Nobody's going to take your advice on how to fix their life if yours is a hot mess, so don't bother. Tend to your own matters, and give others the grace to be who they are. If they're adults, then they have the capacity to take care of themselves and their own affairs, so trust them to do so. Plus, not everything works for everybody. All paths may run ill and there are no guarantees that what works for one will work for another. Truthfully, I stopped giving advice years ago, and I find I get along with people a lot better since I broke that nasty habit of spewing out unsolicited advice and opinions.
9. Stop Muti-Tasking. That's a trend that needs to die. Just as "a jack of all trades is a master of none," so too is it impossible to do several things at once well. I actually found that I'm a lot more productive when I focus on completing one thing at a time, because I make fewer mistakes that I have to go back and correct. Do one thing at a time, and group like tasks together. Focus is the key to accomplishing more in life.
10. Remember that all things pass in time. C.S. Lewis described "The Law of Undulation" in his book The Screwtape Letters. This states that life is a series of ups and downs, peaks and valleys, and you're always at some point on the wave. If things are good, then you're at a peak so enjoy it. If you're in a valley, know that the only place left is to go up and find hope in that. Nothing lasts forever and in fact, the nature of the universe is change. Stop fearing it, and you may find that your greatest achievements come from the things that knocked you down the hardest.
Honestly, I could write a dissertation on all I've learned, but I think this list hits the high points. At least, these are the main things that have helped me to keep going, and are hopefully lighting the path to better days ahead.
That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.
Bye!
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