Faith is one thing inside the safe haven of church or other confined groups of believers, and quite another when it comes to putting it into practice when you get out there into the real world. Battleground Earth – Living by Faith in a Pagan World, my first published book, deals with this issue in detail. I stand by everything I wrote in that book, even if it isn’t the finest example of my writing abilities, and there’s no need to recap it here. Christianity has lasted for two millennia in this world, but the world still hasn’t stopped fighting it. Without fail, somebody, somewhere, is going to have a problem with your faith.

This could happen in a number of ways, so I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss a couple of areas where I’ve seen this resistance in all its ugly glory, and share the wisdom I’ve gained in dealing with it over the past ten years.

Contradictions

I’m going to be more brutally honest here than is appropriate in a Christian book: I’m skeptical of popular people. I’m pushing 40 years old, and I have a lovely knife collection courtesy of all the ones stuck in my back from “well liked” people that were hiding a hair trigger temper. Certainly not all of them have been that way, but I’ve been on the receiving end of the wrath of “swell” people that launched all out assaults on my character – sometimes for standing my ground, sometimes for rocking the boat, and sometimes simply for refusing to get involved in their drama and minding my own business like I thought I was supposed to. It’s caused me to back away from people that seem to have too many friends, because you never know where those emotional landmines are.

Certainly, I know this is falling prey to a stereotype I’ve created in my own mind. The problem with having a bachelor’s degree in psychology is that you can’t fool yourself. I know it’s a generalization, that its not fair for me to think like that, and that for every popular time bomb I’ve met, I’ve crossed paths with two or three that were perfectly decent human beings that demonstrated great fruit of the Spirit. I guess that when you’re caught in explosions that big, you don’t forget it. You definitely watch your step, or at least try to stay at a range outside of any potential blast radius.

I’m no respecter of persons, which has been much to the dismay of many that have crossed my path. I’m not impressed by power or position, and frankly I don’t care how many friends you have or how many people like you. My criteria for whether I like and respect you is simple: you’re a decent human being, or you aren’t. Integrity, honesty, authenticity, and loyalty are the hallmarks that define character. That’s easy enough and certainly fair, but you’d be surprised at how many people have a problem with it.

I bring this up because I’ve heard many other introverts and “loner” types (like me) complain about similar experiences, and I believe it’s a context that we can all relate to. By now we’ve come to the sad realization that cliques didn’t end in high school, and they’re just as prevalent in the adult world as they are on the playground. You’d think we’d learn, but then again it took 70 years of captivity for the Israelites to learn that God meant what he said about commandments, obedience and all those other inconvenient things that made them “uncool” with the pagans around them, and the rest of us still don’t get it. Gene pools are supposed to dilute with successive generations, but Adam’s stubbornness is just as dominate now as it was in the beginning of time. That’s frightening.

We live in a world of contradictions, and frankly some people are better at standing up to them than others. A bold person who doesn’t mind standing out or being a loner with a small “inner circle” of trusted individuals (like myself) usually winces less than a people-pleaser that’s been taught to make everybody happy. It’s a battle we all face, and some of us do better than others. Fair enough, we can grant other believers the grace to face the battle. It’s the people that don’t have time for that giving us reason to reach for the Excedrin, the squeeze ball, the social media post, the wine, the whiskey, or whatever you wish.

Christians should know that they’ll be challenged, and that they need to stand up to it. The problem is that they often get mixed up on what they’re standing for. Many new believers make the classic mistake of believing that they’re standing up for Jesus and defending His principals. Even I did this back in the day. I’d go to the mat for anything just to I could win another battle for Him. The problem is, I didn’t realize what a fool I made of myself in so many instances, because Jesus doesn’t need anybody to stand up for Him. He already won the ultimate battle, and He will come again victorious to clean up the rest of the crap that’s in the world. What’s done is done, and what’s coming is coming. Nothing we do changes that. So what, exactly, are we fighting for?

Our own integrity, that’s what, and the truth is that it’s only a fight if we make it one. Living by faith in a faithless world is a personal choice, and standing by our choices is our right as human beings. If we chose to believe in God and live by His word, we have a right to do that, and to expect that others will respect it. They don’t have to like it. They don’t have to like us. They do have to understand that this is how it’s going to be with us, and that understanding usually comes by calmly standing our ground than martyring ourselves. I learned the hard way that whining, screaming, and crying over the unfairness of it all gets you nowhere. Nobody hears you, and nobody cares. I finally got it one day and when somebody snapped at me about being “like that,” and I replied, “you have to understand that I’m going to do what I believe is right. If you want to prevent that, you do what’s right first.” You could have knocked them over with a feather. There went the fight. And yes, I have been tested on that, but once usually all it takes for people to learn to keep their shenanagins on their side of the line.

 It seems that Martin Luther’s “here I stand, I can do no other” is much more effective than engaging in battle. You do what you will. I’ll do what I will. God will sort it all out for better or worse, and He deals with such things through time and circumstance better than I would. End of story.

The bottom line is that you can’t just talk the talk; you have to walk the walk. Everybody talks, which is why fighting doesn’t work. Respect is earned through actions, not won by words.  A therapist once told me that people lie with their mouths and tell truth with their actions, so don’t listen to words; watch what they do. That’s some of the best advice I’ve had (and the one thing lots of people wish nobody had ever told me).

Yes, you will butt heads with non-believers every now and then, but you know what? Non-believers butt heads with one another, so you’re not special. Your faith-based words and actions are just another thing about this world that pisses them off and deepens that two ton chip on their shoulder anyway. It happens all the time. Some people are just jerks, and you can’t do anything about it. If you calmly stand your ground then you find yourself fighting less and being yourself more. Don’t let it get you down.

When “Right” Becomes A Liability

Just be aware that when they realize that they can’t turn you, then they’ll try to turn your own nature against you. This is usually the next line of defense, because they believe they’ve watched enough movies and TV to be as clever as the characters they admire. They’ll actually believe they can turn your virtue to their advantage and against you and if you aren’t mindful, this trick can work.

Here I’ll make another one of my well-known, unflattering admissions: I’ve been known to provoke people to anger on purpose. I know that pissing people off isn’t shining light on the world, but it’s part of a strategy. Standing on faith gave rise to a problem in my life that’s seemed to grow over the years: co-dependency. People learned that I’m a hard worker with high standards, so they believe they can relax and rely on me to do things. The problem is the domino effect described in Proverbs: a little rest, a little folding of the hands, and eventually I’m asked to do things that they should be doing themselves. They try to flatter me by telling me I’m so smart and they don’t understand it all, but I realize it as the smokescreen that it really is. It’s not that I’m smart; it’s that they’re lazy, and they want to capitalize on my work ethic “because it’s the Christian thing to do.” Talking, pleading, whining, and leaving it to rot doesn’t work against lazy, because lazy can tolerate a lot. The only way to win against co-dependency is to set boundaries, kick off the training wheels, and leave them to coast. And boundaries raise people’s ire every time.

I know you aren’t supposed to hang people out to dry. I know it’s not nice to challenge them or to make them angry. But as a person once told me, sometimes people are wrong, and they need correcting. Yes, people get angry with me when I withdraw, but I do it with the intention of helping them rise to their potential. If they do it “just to show me,” at least they rose to something, and I’ve seen a lot of progress happen that way. See, you’re smart too. Intelligence isn’t limited to a lucky few. We’re all smart in some ways. If I make you mad trying to mine your talent, fume away.

Christian is not equivalent to doormat, and you must have the audacity to draw the line and stare them down. I don’t recall a single Bible verse where Jesus said “whatever, have it your way” and walked away. People like the Christ that was obedient to the cross; not the Christ that turned over moneychanger tables – and yet it’s all the same. Remember this: when somebody makes “the right thing” a liability, it’s no longer “the right thing.” That changes everything.

Sometimes the right thing looks and feels wrong, but that doesn’t change the fundamental facts. It’s human nature to test people. It’s human nature to push them to see how much you can get away with. It’s human nature to push limits. And its God’s will that the right thing be done in all circumstances, despite human nature. The real question is, are you working with Him or against Him?

Respectfully Disagreeing and Standing Alone

I believe we’ve all known Christians that believe the world is out to get them. They think that everybody is against them because of their faith and that they have to constantly be on the lookout for the next attack. It may sound paranoid, but there are times when it does feel like your faith makes you a target. The world doesn’t flinch at making fun of Christians, at pointing out our flaws, or at making assumption like the ridiculous ones I’ve addressed in this book, and countless others. Christians do seem to be exempt from political correctness. I’ve never seen somebody get in the face of an Islamic and accuse them of being a hellbound killer, but they’ll snicker at Christians and call us freaks to our face. There’s certainly a double standard at play in society, but I don’t believe it’s cause for paranoia and it’s certainly not worth martyring ourselves over. We can only be a victim if we allow it.

We are all unique creations and as such, some personalities aren’t going to play well together. This is true whether you’re Christian or not, and unfortunately there’s no “once size fits all” answer on how to deal with conflict. We do have to remember the one hallmark of our faith, though, and that’s grace. Grace is about freedom, and the truth is that we have no right to judge because we don’t know where they’re coming from. Often, it behooves us to remember that hurt people hurt others, and the best thing is to forgive and let go for our own peace. Don’t let hate send you to hell. The charge of the Christian is to share the gospel, and people have a choice on whether to accept it. We try to share what we know to save their soul, but we can’t save them from themselves. If they want to show the world what a jerk they are then you can’t stop them.  

The truth is that as Christians, we will sometimes stand alone. Look at mainstream media and you see there aren’t many people of faith at the top. The world doesn’t like that, so the world doesn’t allow it to rise. Sure, that may change with the indie markets rising. Certainly, they have more of a voice, and more niche markets are rising for us. But in the end, we won’t be popular. That’s the price of a life rooted in Christ. He did say that we are not of the world, so the world doesn’t love us, so I hope you’re ok with being a loner. And really, it’s not so bad. I rather prefer being a loner because there’s a unique freedom in not being bound by expectations and being able to embrace what speaks to your soul without justifying it to those that don’t understand. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from standing alone, its that the view is a lot better from here.  

Heck with the world, anyway. In pure geologic terms, it’s just a huge rock hurling through space, and rocks can’t think. If people want to win the favor of a rock, they can have it. What matters most are things that can’t be quantified: love, relationships, faith, peace, and joy. A rock can’t give you that.

Wow, when you put it that way, it does sound silly. Suddenly, panoramic view of freedom looks inviting, and eternity seems like an investment worth considering. 

Thank goodness for obscure holidays, because I certainly need it! It's Confederate Memorial Day here in SC, so state offices are closed and we get a day off that most other people don't have. I tell you: whether you like it or think it's backwards, it's a free day off, and we'll take it!

I can use it. It's been quite a week. My father-in-law was moved from the hospital to a nursing home to start his rehab, but the hospital got his medications out of whack, so now it's that whole process of getting them settled again. That was Wednesday. Then yesterday, my mother-in-law and a friend had a head on accident leaving the nursing home. They're fine, but the car has gone from an SUV to a compact. Now she has the addition of dealing with the insurance company doing their whole trying-not-to-do-anything dance before she can get it fixed or get another car. Thankfully, she kept my father-in-law's truck, so at least she has that to use in the meantime. I just wrote more on this and how we're dealing over at Conure Corner, so feel free to swing by there to check out more. 

My big role in this is to help and support Rick by making sure he takes care of himself and keeping the home going. Fortunately, I had already made a good bit of headway on this before his dad got sick. The house is clean, so keeping it up isn't too difficult. Plus, Nonstop to Nowhere is at the beta/proofreader right now and will be for 2 weeks.  I did run across a few things that I'm thinking about incorporating into the sequel to Move and researched it, but honestly I'm shelving that project until Nonstop to Nowhere is complete and turned in. So I'm on a writing hiatus until late May or early June, which is alright. It's funny how things work out, isn't it?

It's not the most fantastic of times, but I do see hope. Rick's dad is in recovery, his mother is ok (and will likely get a new car, once the insurance is done with their trying-to-do-nothing thing), and we've recovered from our respective sinus infections. It seems to me that things are on track to improve, if we keep the faith, walk in prayer, and don't allow the devil to keep sidetracking everybody with panic. Plus, spring is here and it's getting hot again. Some people are grumbling about it, but I don't mind. In fact, I welcome the heat. After that brutally cold winter, I like blue skies, green plants, and the sun warming the earth. The world feels alive, and that's a great feeling. I'll take it. 

That's all today. I'll keep you posted on our progress, and ask that you will pray that the progress is already upon us and being delivered. 

Have a Happy Friday and a wonderful weekend. 

Bye!

And so, just like that, the Lenten fasts are over and now we celebrate the Resurrection. The journey that we embarked on Ash Wednesday is over and now we move on with what we’ve learned on the journey.

In all of my ponderings over the past weeks, I think the one thing that struck me the most is that the journey continues. Easter may have come and gone. Celebrations are in order. But the truth is that the journey never ends. We have celebrations and sorrows. We have highs and lows. We have feasts and famines. For everything there is a season, but three things remain: our faith in God, our foundation in Christ, and our obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit within us.

And yet, there we waiver just as much as in anything else, because our human nature challenges us in all things. We may be certain in our salvation, but our faith along the way is always tempered and tested by doubt. All it takes is something unexpected, some setback, something that flies in the face of “how it should be” and we start to doubt. Does God care? Is He real? Is Christ holding us secure, or are we swaying in the winds of chance? Is that the Spirit prompting us, our own will, or something else?

Why is that? How many times must God prove Himself faithful? The truth is that He doesn’t have to do it ever. He owes us no explanations. And yet, if we really and honestly look over our lives, we can see where He has proved faithful to us through His promises over and over again. He doesn’t move; we do. And sometimes, figuring out where we are is like trying to navigate with a map that doesn’t have a compass on it. We see where we are, but we don’t know how to move on from here. What direction should we take? Where should we go? Where’s the right path; the path to where we belong? And that’s where we get in trouble. As I said in previous entries: free will is God’s greatest gift, and our greatest stumbling block.

And people think that a Christian’s life should be simple. It’s anything but! Believe me, we have just as many questions as you do. Maybe more. Sometimes the big picture is more of a riddle than a mosaic. And I’m not afraid to tell you that I hate riddles. It’s the age old battle of good versus evil, and if you think that believers have it figured out – well, let me just tell you that any person of faith that tries to tell you they “get it” all is lying. The surest sign of the devil at work is certainty that you’re right. It’s the questions that define our faith, not the answers. And that just means our ability to accept the questions, and that we won’t have all the answers. There may not be answers, at least that we could ever understand. Certainly not that would satisfy us, anyway. See what I mean by a riddle now?

People aren’t wrong to celebrate the Resurrection. In fact, they should do it. It is, after all, why we don’t have to have all of the answers. It’s why we’re human beings, not humans doing. Our job is to be what we were created to be . It sounds simple, and sometimes it is. Sometimes, it isn’t. Sometimes, the path isn’t so clear. But we’re always on the journey, from the day we’re born until the day we die. The question is our location. We’re simply called to take life a day at a time, and sometimes even a step at a time. We know the final destination, but we don’t always know the path. That takes a faith that requires renewing every day.

And so the journey continues. I pray that you’ve made your own significant discoveries in these days of reflection, and that your life is better for it now as we celebrate knowing that the end result is certain. So celebrate, knowing that it all means something good, even if you don’t always get it. And if you don’t like riddles, then just focus on the journey, a step at a time.

I’ve enjoyed taking this Lenten journey with you, and I hope you’ve enjoyed following me along on it. And now, we shall see what life brings next in the method of the madness in my rabbit hole.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

 

I recently read an article on the seven deadly sins by state. Geographers from Kansas State plotted the 7 deadly sins on a map of the U.S., and I found the results interesting. I’d encourage you to take a look at the map to see how your state stacks up.

According to the map, we in South Carolina have a problem with envy, wrath, lust, and pride. Four out of seven isn’t good, but then again, it doesn’t surprise me. We have a lot of “Sunday Morning Christians” here. Sad but true: church attendance is harped on a lot in the Bible Belt, but walking the walk doesn’t tend to happen the other six days of the week. I fear this map exposes an ugly truth that it’s all just show, and we hope our Sunday morning activities are wiping away the consequences of the rest of our life. Cut somebody off in traffic, and they’ll flip you the bird as fast as they say “God bless you” when you sneeze.

This map shows that we’re all hypocrites. We talk of living by higher standards and better morals, but the fact is that we all have our faults, and we all hold different standards for others than we do for ourselves. These geographers busted us, plain and simple. They got the statistics that don’t lie, and organized and categorized it with names that we have no excuse for not recognizing.

I think it’s a good reminder, though, and especially at this time of year when we talk of salvation and peace on Earth. It’s  good to hold up a mirror every now and then and take a good, hard look at reality. It’s good to humble ourselves and recognize the true meaning of why we needed Christ to come. Because with all of the gift giving and stress over creating “the perfect holiday,” it’s easy to forget that the true gift was given to us. We have nothing to give God that He doesn’t already have. You can’t bribe Him. You can’t hide the truth from Him. You can’t play “lets make a deal” with Him. The only thing you can give Him is your heart.

Talk doesn’t matter. It’s just noise. And according to this map, we’re making a hell of a lot of noise. Literally! So much for Peace on Earth.

But there is good news, and we celebrate it every time this year. It’s that hope has arrived, and it’s a free gift to us all. No strings attached. Just believe and receive. And if you mean it, then you can have a peace beyond all understanding. It might not be Peace on Earth, but peace in your own soul is invaluable. And it’s right there, if only you believe. But it’s not a “one and done” decision, or even a “every Sunday morning” decision. This is a decision you have to make each and every day. And yes, I know I need to try harder at this, just like everybody else.

That’s all today. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend.

Bye!

When it comes to luck, I seem to get an avalanche because it all hits me at one time. When it's good luck, that's okay. But when it's bad luck, it's rather aggravating. And you've probably guessed that for the past months, it seems I've been on a roll of bad luck. Illness, injury, accidents, things breaking or going wrong, a constant barrage of bad luck. On the one hand, it's minor irritations that are usually handled quickly. But those add up, and pretty soon the minor irritants lead to a major breakdown.

Yes, it happened last week - but the irritations haven't. Just when I thought okay, maybe it's leveling out, I get up this morning to another accident. I broke a dental device that I need to keep the extensive dental work I had when I was younger "in place." I  had a lot of dental problems as a kid and in my early teens. They're resolved, thankfully, but proper maintenance is key to making sure they don't come back. So now, I'm fixing to head to the dentist to get it fixed. He said it sounds like it's not really major. It's happened before, and he was able to fix it, so he believes this won't be a big deal. But it's a kink in my day, my schedule, and  my life. And maybe it is some luck here, because I'm supposed to be at a conference in Minneapolis right now, but I'm not because of conflicts at work (that are also in the resolution process, but alas, didn't happen in time for me to make this trip). At least I'm home and can get this resolved now.

Some people go through times like this and say "what have I done to deserve this?" or "God must be mad at me." Nonsense. I say "wow, I must really be pissing the devil off for him to be after me like this, and God must be protecting me by limiting the scope." The Bible said time and chance happen to us all - it's just happening to me a lot right now. And I recently read the Book of Job. It's not God's fault that life sucks sometimes. That's the imperfect nature of the world that sin brought in. But that's a discussion for another time. Suffice it to say, I'm hanging in there and refusing to be discouraged. I had a bit of a breakdown last week and I'm not interested in another one, thank you very much. 

I'll tell you this: there's no way I'm following people's advice and buying a lottery ticket. They say I'm due good luck and should play it. Heck no! I'm afraid that if I win, I'll die the next day. Or be horribly injured. Or get a terminal disease. The way things are going, I'd be lucky if I didn't win because winning would tempt the devil, fate, or whatever into hitting me with it's best shot. No thanks! Best to leave it alone and not bring gambling into the mix. You buy the lottery ticket and good luck. I don't see that working out for me at all. I'll take a more low key approach and keep working each day. That's always worked to lead to better times, so why stop? Maybe the release of Splinter in a little over a month will turn the tide to better luck, better days, and better ways.

I'm hoping. For now, I'm thankful the scope is limited to minor irritations and I'm hanging in there.

I best be off. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a good weekend.

Bye!