You may recall my mention of being skeptical of “popular people” in Shatterpoint, Chapter 5. Obviously, I’m what some refer to as a “square peg,” and today I’d like to dispel some misconceptions about those of us that don’t quite fit in. People get some funny ideas when you swim against the current, such as:

We aren’t radical non-conformists. We are aware of how we’re unique and accept how our life is different from others. The truth is that everybody’s life is unique. We just don’t fear what makes us different and in many cases, embrace the very things that people usually fear in themselves.

It’s not that we don’t care about others. It’s that we do realize what is and isn’t our business. People are going to think what they want to, so why worry about putting on pretense, masks, and “following the crowd?” The truth is that people have an innate sense for b.s., so you may as well give them something real to live with. They will respect you for being real whether they like what they say or not.

It’s not that we don’t like people. It’s that we value relationships more than anything else and protect them. Don’t mistake “loner” for “lonely.” We appreciate that relationships are about understanding and appreciating others for the unique individuals they are and not for what they can do for you. People aren’t objects to us, and we don’t believe in using them as tools. Our foundation is firm enough that we don’t need props, so we can stand on our own while we nurture and protect our relationships privately, which is completely proper, respectful, and appropriate.

It’s not that we’re judging you. It is that we’re too busy living our own life to get entangled in the drama and scandals that aren’t our concern. Just because you don’t know what we’re doing doesn’t mean we aren’t doing anything. Loners usually have very full lives, and they work hard to keep them in appropriate balance. We do want to offer help and support where we can, but we simply don’t have time to be pulled into created drama, games, or useless fluff, especially when it’s not our business. We choose to focus on what matters most and leave the rest of it alone. We have fewer opinions than most people realize.

It’s not that we’re trying to stand out by being different. It’s that we value independence and freedom. Life is a journey and we want to have the panoramic view, not tunnel vision. Anxiety over “what others might think” is a waste of time and does nothing but suck your joy away – in the end, you limit yourself for nothing. Following the crowd isn’t our thing; following The Spirit is. Joy isn’t found in the noise of expectation but in the quiet stillness of standing alone.

It’s not that we’re idealists. It’s that we’re more in touch with reality than you realize. We know that calling an apple an orange doesn’t make it so no matter how much better it makes others feel. Loners don’t have time for deception or defense mechanisms. We accept the world as it is; not as we want it to be. Because of that, we face things head on and learn from them while others continue to fight and struggle against the inevitable. We don’t fear the darkness; we simply move through it. That’s probably why we seem so tough,less bothered by things, and to adapt easier – and why you usually don’t worry about us while you’re falling apart.

The truth is that “square pegs” aren’t interested in being pounded into holes. We don’t see the world as a “Perfection” game where everything must be in it’s preconceived place but rather as the blessed, jumbled mess that pops up and throws things into more interesting , unexpected places. Our views may be unique, but they’re no less valid. If we want to avoid the noise and take the road less traveled, well, be thankful we’re out of your way. We aren’t interested in turning over systems or rocking the boat. We simply want to row our own boat wherever we please. Give us grace to be ourselves, and we’ll give you grace to follow whatever crowd, trend, or frenzy you please. Who know? If it looks interesting, we may duck in for a while. But don’t worry. We don’t stay. Something more interesting always comes along from the fringes, and it’s usually stuff that most people don’t notice in the whirlwind of “the next big thing.”

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

Well, it's been 3 months, and I don't think there's any denying it anymore: my heel pain in my left foot isn't the result of my Vitamin D deficiency, like my doctor originally thought (hoped). I've been on the suppliments long enough that the truth is evident: I have plantar fasciitis. In plain English, that's inflammation of the tendon in my foot. I know how I got it too: it's a combination of having high arches and wearing shoes that are more awesome than practical. 

The good news is that it heals, but I have to take care of the foot. That means no more strappy sandals or high heels this summer, at least. And there we have a problem. Not only am I limited to 2 pairs of Sketchers that I bought yesterday (and for the price I paid for them, those suckers should connect wirelessly to the Internet anywhere I go!), but they look like shoes that everybody else wears. 

Therein lies the problem, because I'm probably the only person in the world that wants to avoid what everybody else is doing. Seriously. I refused to even consider a Toyota Camry in 2006 after the commercial with the store camera where they called for the person in the Camry to turn do something, and everybody left the store. They then proudly announced that they were the #1 selling and most common car in America. Nope, out. As I told Rick, I don't want my car to look like 15 others in the parking lot everywhere I go. And it certainly doesn't - now that Pontiac is dead, there aren't many Grand Prix's to confuse my car with these days. 

I know that I really have no choice and will have to settle for "fitting in" with my footwear for a few months, no matter how it infringes on my authenticity and personality. But then again, I suppose there are many other ways for me to express that:clothes, jewelry, belts, purses, nail polish - hope still lives in many areas. It's really a small price to pay too, all things considered. This is about a 2-3 on my pain scale and a 1-2 on my inconvenience scale. The sprained ankle 5 years ago was a lot more painful, and the tendinitis in my right arm 4 years ago was terribly inconvenient. After seeing 3 people in arm splints at church today, I said ok, at least I can hobble along with this one, because if I can't type then I do have a problem, between my job and my writing. Foot and leg injuries hurt more, while hand and arm injuries are horribly inconvenient and problematic. They garner less pity, too, because people see wrist splints so often that they ignore them. If you're limping, people are more likely to scoot out of the way a little faster. With an arm injury, you just have to whack them with your splint. 

I'm just kidding. Maybe. 

Well, people that think I'm a little too weird should be happy with my shoes at least for the next few months. My feet will "fit in" nicely, although I don't make any promises of blending in any other ways. Oh yes, you'll see the purple nail polish yet, my friends. 

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week. 

Bye!

On this, my 38th birthday, I find my self pondering the progress of the past year. I suppose this is a natural thing to do on a birthday. On first glance it could seem disappointing, as there are no "major" changes to report, but that's actually deceptive. There have been changes in the past year, but they've been more in the way of "shifts" instead of what could be clearly defined as "changed." I suppose this sounds somewhat elusive, so of course I'm going to explain.

The progress of the past year has actually been more in the way of building on things that have already been in motion. While it doesn't seem that much has changed - after all, life is progressing along very much the same today as it was a year ago - I can't say that I think about or feel the way that I did about life as I did one, two, or five years ago. In fact, as I ponder it, I notice that my paradigm has shifted quite a bit in the last 4 years. I suppose this is natural. My job changed and I finally broke into publication with my writing in 2010 - 2011, and while these things are "the norm" in my life right now, I see how incorporating those changes into my life has changed my view of life and the world. My basic morals haven't changed. That's not something that's likely to change. But the way you see the world around you and apply those morals can change, and I'm starting to see the evidence that it's happened. When you walk in faith long enough, you delve deeper into things, and that's certainly what's happened to me.

So how have I changed? For one, I'm seeing a whole new application of the concept of "reaping and sowing," as described in Galatians 6:7. You all know that this is one thing that my grandfather was a big believer in, and I took it to heart. But this verse applies to more than just relationships with other people and how you treat them - it also applies to progress and purpose in life. In fact, if you shift two more verses you'll read that "in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) After several years of hard work to re-establish myself professionally in my current workplace and to get my writing established, I see the value of patience in all that we do. If life really is a series of ups and downs, reaping and sowing, then that has big implications for all of life. If we choose to only allow ourselves to be happy on the mountaintop, when we're reaping the rewards of our labors, then we're guaranteed to be miserable (or at least, withholding our own happiness) at least 50% of our life. Folks, that just isn't acceptable to me. That's not going to do it. Sure, there are some people that enjoy being miserable and whining and complaining to get attention, but that's not the way I choose.

I know from experience that there are blessings in every day because I've been through the major life changes when I looked back and realized that there were little blessings that I took for granted, and I was sorry for it. An example: before my writing was published, I used to do counted cross stitching and wrote short stories. Much to my surprise, I find that I have very little time for that now, between promoting my published works and creating new ones. I love my writing and pray daily that it will continue to grow and reach more people - in fact, I'm prayerfully striving to make a break into science fiction with Splinter this fall - but there are some days when I miss having the time to cross stitch, or to goof off on Writing.com with short story contests. I didn't realize how much time these things filled in my life until my writing grew to the point where I had to make decisions about what stayed and what went. I still stitch occasionally, but large projects are out now. And as for short stories, they take me longer to write, prepare, and complete than they once did. And ditto for the work move. I was glad to make it and still believe it was the best, but I didn't realize the little things I took for granted, like talking to a couple of my friends when things got slow, the great walking paths on the State House grounds, a covered parking spot or those outstanding subs for a great price on Tuesdays and Fridays. Yes, I've gained a lot through both changes. I wouldn't undo either of them or the world because I gained a lot more than I lost. But I did learn to not despise the small things, and to appreciate the small blessings that go with each day as well as the big things we work so hard to cultivate and grow in our lives.

Some people say this means to "enjoy the journey on the way to where you go," but I think there's a deeper meaning than that. A devotion I read recently said, "God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to do what's right." That really hit me and helped me to get a grasp on my own paradigm shift. I used to think that the point was about being happy, and I actually worried for a little while, wondering if I'd ever be happy like I was before. I see now that I won't, because happy is a side effect. The purpose of life is not to serve our feelings, but to do what we're supposed to be doing and work hard to do what's right for our purpose in life. If you are faithful in well doing and obedient to the spirit, there's a contentment to your life that nothing - situations, circumstances, or other people and their attitudes (because that really reflects on them more than anything else, but that's a pondering for another entry) - can affect. You can rest in knowing that you're doing all you can, and that allows you to enjoy the blessings of every day, large or small. And contentment is better than happiness. It's more stable, because you can still see the blessing in what you have even if a thousand aggravations are bleeding out of them. It's built on a firmer foundation that gives you the patience to hold out for the "bigger picture" even if you don't understand what the point is (as is often the case). It's built on a trust between you and the Lord and nobody else can put their hands on it. And that can give you the courage to do what's right, even in the face of ridicule, opposition, or doubt. Happiness is transient and comes and goes with circumstances. Contentment is faith in action.

No, the earth hasn't moved in the last year. Things look much the same today as they do every other day. But I know they aren't. I see how the work at the everyday levels is building to something new and better. I might not know what yet, but when it is revealed then I'll reap a reward in due season, and be glad I didn't lose heart.

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

I got a copy of my performance evaluation this week and cringed at the opening paragraph. The evaluation was good, but it seems that every one I’ve had for the past 3 years opened with “Since Sherri transferred from her former department, she has …” I sighed as I filed it and said to Chloe (because she was on my shoulder and it would be crazy to talk to myself), “am I destined always be preceded by this note that I’m different from every other employee?” I shook my head at it. I’m always different. I always have been and always will be. 99.9% of the time, it doesn’t bother me because I’m proud of how I’m unique from the rest of the world. But every once in a while, it does get to me.

Then the next day somebody told me about a friend that was irritating them to death with frequent telephone calls. Her friend envied her hair and kept calling to ask how she got her hair to look that for an upcoming event. “It’s ridiculous and she’s driving me crazy!” my friend said, “and she’ll never get it to look like mine. Why can’t she accept it?” My friend is right. One of them has straight hair and one has curly hair. They’ll never have identical hairdos because it’s literally impossible. And then the light went off over my own head: it seems that the desire to be normal actually causes MORE problems than being different. As I ponder this further, it’s true. There’s a lot of strife in this world, and most of it goes back to 2 things:

1. People are jealous and envy what others have; or

2. People don’t understand what others are doing because it doesn’t seem “right” to them, so they object.

And in both situations, there’s no way to have a good, functioning relationship with people. So they  argue. They fight. They try to force and coerce others to doing things the way they believe is “right” and refuse to accept people for who they are. What’s more, many of these people are in church every Sunday, and yet the concept of grace and having enough of it to respect the wants and needs of others goes right past them. It’s like it doesn’t even exist. 

I might not be popular, but at least I have freedom. I don’t envy others because I’m too busy attending to the business of my own life. And as a result of that, I usually don’t spend too much mental energy forming opinions of how other people are leading their life unless they intrude on my time/space/territory (then it’s fair game, because I do have a right to determine what is and is not acceptable in my own life, and I can give you the name of a few witnesses that will attest to the fact that I will indeed do just that if you invade my life). I might not understand things, but one thing I’ve learned in adulthood is wisdom is gained from mistakes, and experience is, in many instances, a greater teacher than words. I remember what J.R.R. Tolkein wrote in The Lord of the Rings about the burned hand taking lessons of fire to heart. I also remember what C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters about the prayer the devil loves the most is “make me like everybody else.” That’s Satan’s playground, where every deadly sin has a place to take root. I see the point.  If “everybody is doing it,” then that’s reason to stop right there and ask if it’s wisdom or just the next foolish net laid for this season’s catch.

I know I have too many rough edges for some people to deal with, but I’ve found that they deal with being real and honest a lot better than being fake. I’ve also learned that, as the saying goes about birthday’s, “it’s a matter of mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Being true to who the Lord made you to be not only guarantees that you will find and fulfill all of your purposes in life, but that the opinions of others really don’t matter to you. Things tend to turn out for the best if you stay true to yourself, anyway. Yes, people still shake their head at me occasionally. Yes, I get frustrated with the lack of understanding from time to time. No, I’ll never be popular. No, I’m not in any cliques. I go my own way and do my own thing. But people know my personal policy, and that they can trust me to always do my very best, no matter what. And a funny thing  happens when you stand your ground – people are more comfortable being their real self when they see that you aren’t afraid. They open up more and worry less, and in turn you develop stronger relationships based on mutual trust and respect. That’s just not possible in cliques based on fake conformity, masks, and facades. They can have that, because I don’t have time for what’s fake. Give me something real or get outta here. That’s my stand.

Last week, I read an interesting line in my weekly devotional. It said “God doesn’t want you to be happy. He wants you to do what’s right.” That’s absolutely true. I’m reading through The Bible, and one thing that strikes me is God’s repeated statement to “obey my commands.” Not “do whatever and you’ll be okay,” but “obey my commands.” This is usually followed by a list of how people will prosper if they do and suffer if they don’t. Furthermore, Jesus went on to say that He wants us to have life in all its abundance – but you have to do what’s right to get it. Jesus didn’t say “have an okay life.” He said “life in abundance.”  It seems to me that if you do what’s right, then happy is a side effect.  Too many people are hung up on their feelings these days. They want happy, but don’t understand what it takes to get happy. It’s like they’re feasting on French fries and leaving the steak untouched. Doing right = happy. Do wrong = hurt. It’s the simplest equation and yet, through all of human history, we still don’t get it. I think it goes back to the Mark Twain quote that “opportunity is often missed because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” True enough.

I think this is why unique people are happier in the long run. They aren’t caught up in the trappings of “what everybody else is doing” and “what should be” like others are. They aren’t afraid of who they are or of the hard work it takes to accomplish their dreams. They’re playing the hand they have and making the best of it. And after a while, you learn to play it to win – even if it’s a hand full of jokers!

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and  have a great weekend.

Bye!

So, what's up in your life? Here's a summary of the fluff and stuff that is my life these days. I think these "wazzup" entries are good to let you know what's inspiring my writing each and every day.

Work's a challenge. My boss retired effective June 30, but her last day was actually June 27. I won't lie - it's been a tough year so far for our staff. That's two members of our staff that have left, and two other people in areas that support our programs have also left. 4 people folks. I keep looking for that revolving door so I can seal the darn thing shut. In reality, it's overwhelming. As I told someone last week, every day is a new challenge that has to be conquered. It really is. We're all literally taking life one day at a time now, hoping that eventually it will balance out and stabilize if we just take it as it comes. And I'll be honest with you: this "surviving each day as it comes" is not acceptable to me. It's crap and I don't like it. But I can also whine and complain and kvetch all the time, and it won't change a thing. It is what it is and we have no choice but to take what we've got and make it something better. So I get up every day, and pray, and boldly face the day, believing that one day this too will pass; one day this will work out; one day the load will lighten and we will be back to something that we can call "normal" again. I have to believe that it will. I've been through worse than this and I'm still alive. And I know the Lord wouldn't allow it if it wasn't the path to a better way and a better day. I've done it before, and it looks like I'm called to do it again. It seems a bit soon to me to face radical change again - it's only been 3 years since the last time - but I haven't come this far to fail and be defeated by it. 

At times like this, I'm very thankful for the Law of Undulation. It means that it's literally impossible for this to last forever. Either this will pass, or the world will end and it all goes up in ash. Lovely thought, there. I'm sure we all pray for the former but frankly, there are days that the latter doesn't look so bad. I had a friend that would say "this would be a good rapture moment!" when it got really stressful, and I must admit there have been some of those times too. Of course, I'd remind her that "the Lord isn't letting us out that easy" and we'd all get a laugh. 

So how do I cope? Well, you know me - when the going gets tough, I get writing, and it seems that sci-fi is my go-to genre for times like these. That's okay, because I like sci-fi. I had someone inform me last week that they though it was awful that I was turning to sci-fi and why don't I do romance? So I did the math for them: I like sci-fi + that's what ebook readers are buying + I don't really give a crap what you think because it's not like you actually read a thing I write anyway = I'm writing sci-fi. It's pretty simple, really. People that know me are going to judge my writing based on what they think of me. Strangers will judge my writing by whether or not it's any good. And there are more people I don't personally than I do personally know. It's not vector calculus. 

Rick and I went to the one and only drive-in movie theater a few weeks ago to see World War Z and Man of Steel. We really wanted to see Man of Steel, but it was a double feature and they only let a limited number of people in, so we had to go early and see both movies. I liked Man of Steel, but World War Z wasn't really my thing. I'm not really into zombies, but it seems that's a very popular thing right now. I find it ironic that the brainless, walking dead are popular in a culture accused of "dumbing down." Every time I get in my car, I see brainless activity, and it seems that brain dead crap is always happening in the car in front of me. What's up with that? You wouldn't believe some of the crazy maneuvers I see, and I only have a 10-15 commute each day. It's half of what it used to be, but I see just as much careless driving. It's funny: I know several people teaching their kids to drive and they go on about how driving is a privilege, then they run read lights, swerve lanes, cut off people in traffic, and run Yield signs like they don't exist. There's you're zombies, folks. The brain rots behind the wheel of a car. People ask if I'm afraid to fly and I say no - it's safer to get on an airplane than to get in a car, and I get in the car a lot more often. Why should I be scared to fly? I'm safer at 30,000 feet because those pilots didn't get their license in a Cracker Jack box  like many SC drivers obviously did. 

Zombies driving - that's amusing. You know what's more amusing? People that call and complain about how depressed they are and how awful their life is, and then then they wonder why nobody wants to talk to them. I've heard a lot of people complaining about this little phenomenon lately. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer. There are 4 things that will run people out of your life faster than the Zombie Apocalypse: crying, whining, complaining, and anger. If you're looking to do some housecleaning in your personal life, employ any of these things and that'll do it in swift order. I've seen it happen and will humbly admit that I've made this mistake. I think it took me going through two major life changes and noticing that only my family remained before I realized that I couldn't monopolize everybody with complaining or fussing about the unfairness of life or they'd leave. I've seen other people suffer this same fate by kvetching about their awful  life and crying over the depressing state of things until they raised the rivers to flood stages. I'll even give you a case in point: I know somebody (I promise, not me, but somebody that would bar-b-que me if I mentioned them by name here) that had someone call them every day complaining about being depressed. She tried to cheer this person up to no avail. Finally, one day, the person called while she was in the middle of cooking supper and asked her to come over. The person I know said no, I can't do that, the family will be home soon. "So?" the person said, "I'm depressed! They'll be okay!" That's it, she said. No more. They didn't speak for a while. A couple of months ago, the person I know had a family member get sick. She told this friend, who she decided to forgive and slowly allow back into her life. You know what the friend said? "Oh, stop whining. They'll be fine!" and she curtly said she had to go because she had a visitor and hung up. Do you think the person I know still calls that one a friend? No - and the ex-friend has no idea why she's been cut off!

Addendum: the ex-friend is the one that told me switching to writing sci-fi was awful. Hence, my not caring. I'm pretty sure that if that one were abducted by aliens, they'd bring her back shortly!

The take away: if you want people to be there for you, you have to at least act like you give a crap about them and what they care about. It's my famous tag line: you must at least act like you care even if you don't care about them and their issues any more than you care about the extra 40 minutes in a Martian day. I'll even take it a step further and give you a litmus test: if you're about to call somebody to vent or have a heart to heart, ask youself if you can name two things going on in that person's life that's important to them right now, today, this minute. If you can't, put a sock in it and make the call to find out what's up with them before you commence kvetching. Or read their blog. That'll do it. And don't dare ask for prayers unless you've prayed for others yourself. I know a lot of people guilty of that. Someone asked me to pray for them once. I said sure, remember that I asked for prayers before too. Can I ask that you keep praying? Blush. Oops, forgot. Sorry - but I will! Well, up yours too. You just made the "whatever" list, as in  "Lord, I don't wish them ill, but they're stuck on themself and only You can reach them, so whatever you deem appropriate, do it to lead them to a better balanced life." There. Done.

I know I talk about not complaining too much, and here I am doing it. Guilty as charged. I'm calling it as I see it, but I feel examples are in order and frankly, there are a great number of frustrations in my life now. I'm trying, I really am, to get back in balance. It isn't easy, but I don't give up. I'll just keep writing my awful sci-fi and go on with life :)

We're studying the  Book of Revelation in our Sunday School Class now. It's interesting. It's also hard to take things too seriously when you consider that it's all going up in disaster and flames one day. The problem is that it hasn't happened yet and we don't know when it will, so we're called to keep on keeping on and taking care of this rock we call home until the day comes that we're released through death, rapture, or disaster. Hmm. Those are things you try not to think too hard about.

We just got back from the beach for the 4th of July. We had a good time, but it was typical 4th of July issues: wall to wall people and sweltering heat. There's only one place you can go 4th of July weekend that isn't crowded, and that's church. Every other place is crowded, and you see it no matter where you go. Even here at home it's crowded. However you celebrate, you have to pack your patience. But we did have a good time. We saw the fireworks at Broadway at the Beach and we saw the Good Vibrations show at The Carolina Opry. I really enjoyed that. They played rock songs from the 60's - 80's and put on a great show. If you're in Myrtle Beach, you should see it. I believe they have that show on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays during the summer and Tuesdays and Fridays other times of the year.

But the long weekend is over and tomorrow is back to work time. I shall face the challenges that come and keep working on my writing. And so, it will continue this day, much as every other.

That's all. Thanks for hanging in there, and I hope you have a great week. Here's a video to get us all going.

Bye!