Blog Archives

Mind Your Energy

4/30/2020

I had a reminder of this today. I took Zack and Bubbles to the vet for their annual well check today. They got a clean bill of health, but the vet clipped one of Bubb's toenails too short, and she had blood on it. While this is nothing new to us and I knew what to do, it still provoked a great deal of anxiety. Which was reinforced when the tree trimmer we called came to the house to clean the limbs he cut yesterday, and he had problems navigating his trailer around our yard. No problems with the lift he used to trim the limbs, but suddenly today that smaller trailer was giving him a fit. It was then that I noticed - there was a lot of chaotic energy around me today, and it was affecting somebody who didn't even come in the house!

We've heard and read a lot lately about adjusting to a "new normal" and dealing with self isolation and quarantine, but one thing we've failed to note is how all of this chaos is affecting us on a more subtle level. It's probably something that fell to the wayside in the assumption that working from home and going out less meant it wouldn't be as much of an issue. In fact, I realized today that it's probably MORE of an issue now than ever. The world is in chaos, and every time we engage it, it's affecting us. When I reflected on this a bit more, I realized that we've had a lot of service people in and out of the house this month, and all of their chaotic energy from everybody doing everything "now that they have time" was coming in our home, and affecting us. It's time to pull the plug and change my decision-making paradigm from "doing what I can while I can" to "doing what's necessary." Yes, it makes sense to take advantage of the time. But we also need to consider bigger implications of this and perhaps take it easy on others by not demanding too much. For example, trimming the trees was necessary. They were hanging over the power line to our home, and it needed to be done. But the vet visit wasn't necessary. Zack and Bubbs are obviously ok, and it could have been skipped this time. Lesson learned.

I posted what happened to Zack and Bubbs on Facebook, and everybody kept telling me "don't blame yourself. You were being pragmatic and nobody meant any harm." I know that, and I don't blame anybody. It just made me realize that everybody is trying to "get by" in a new normal, and perhaps I need to give people a break. So it's time to cut back to the basics. No more service people in the house for the time being. We're taking a break from the "to do" list to give this chaotic energy time to dissipate and return to normal, productive levels. It's like when I was in marching band in high school and college: when the drill falls apart, you go back to the basics. Practice those "rookie drills." Run those scales. Study the music terms one more time. Practice the music. Break the drill down page by page and start over. The same applies here. Back to taking care of ourselves and our home. Keep up with the family. Keep the writing moving. Keep working. Do workouts. Go to sleep. Repeat next day.

Of course, you should take care of needs. Go to the doctor if you're sick. If something is broken, fix it. Take care of things. Do your work. Look after your home and family. But once that's done, consider the rest of your list carefully. Essential workers are stretched a mile too thin right now. It might be that the most considerate and merciful thing is to let it go, and give them a break.

Don't be too quick to get aggrivated, either. We're all re-learning how to handle life right now. It's hard, confusing, and frustrating. So perhaps it's best to take it easy on ourselves and one another.

And for goodness sake, mind your energy. It still matters. In fact, it matters now more than ever. If you really want to find a "new normal" on the other side of this, then now is the time to build the foundation on better things than what we had before.

That's all today. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!

0 Comments

Vengeance on Teddy - A Fiction Journal Entry

4/23/2020

0 Comments

It's been a tough week. It turns out that bad days and frustrations still happen when you're working from home. Life doesn't give you a break. I have a minor infection, and getting to the doctor was a hassle because my old doctor retired abruptly earlier this month. I've had challenges communicating with people. The feedback coming in on Domino, while good and extremely helpful, has made me realize that my life is really isolated, and it's going to take some stretching to expand my creativity in the void of stay-at-home quarantine orders. And I found out that one of my first friends on Facebook passed away yesterday from a brain tumor.

And no joke - the old doctor's office and the framer for the rose cutting cross stitch called me three minutes apart yesterday, as if they had no idea that I've already had to run them down for things. I picked up that cross stitch almost a month ago, and the doctor situation was resolved on Monday. Both completely confused. Neither bothered to scroll down on their database to see that I already did it myself.

On the other hand, it's been an outstanding week for writing. Action is good for the muse, it seems, although I hate to admit it. And things seem to be rebounding, although I say that with cautious optimism. Of course, we're still having ups and downs, and this is a confusing time. But there are some benefits to it, like the fact that I'm finally back to working on and writing short stories, after nearly a year of talk but not much action in that area. I do feel good about that.

Since I don't have any insights to offer this week, I thought I'd entertain you with one of those short stories I wrote this week. I found a writing prompt online about writing a story about the day your stuffed animals came to life. We don't have many of them, but I did get Rick a teddy bear for Valentines Day many years ago that Zack has despised as his mortal foe for most of his life. I thought it would be fun to portray that in a story. It didn't win - actually, it was disqualified because I failed to notice that one of the rules of the contest changed since I last participated - but it was fun to write. The attached picture is to help you visualize our feathered kids. Zack is the golden boy, and Bubbles is the blue beauty. So without further ado, I hope this story brightens your day. Enjoy!

Vengeance on Teddy

“No!”

The scream jolted me from the report I was working on. I was home alone. Why would something be screaming? Zack and Bubbles, our parrots, don’t talk that clearly.

“Birds?” I asked. I glanced at their cages to notice, in horror, they were empty.

My stomach dropped. “Zack! Bubbles! Where are you?”

“Stop!”

The voice was coming from upstairs.

I sprinted up the stairs to find both parrots on the dresser in the master bedroom. The small stuffed teddy bear I got my husband for Valentine’s Day was thrashing about, it’s small arms waving, as the parrots cornered it against the mirror.

“Sherri! Help me!”

Bubbles body slammed the bear and held it down with her foot while Zack yanked stuffing out of the bear’s belly, cackling the entire time.

“Good grief!” I rushed to the closet to pull out my electronic “shocker” that I got a few years ago. Was it charged? We’ve been quarantined for over a month.

“Mommy to the rescue,” I said. The birds scrambled up my arms to my shoulder, taking shelter against my neck.

The bear stood wearily. “Thanks, Sherri. I needed –"

I zapped it with 5,000 volts. It wailed as electric shock filled the stuffing, jerking about before exploding in a mess of brown felt and puff. Zack cackled. I sighed, dropping the zapper on the table next to the obliterated teddy bear. “Now I know why you always hated that thing. I guess it won’t be bothering you any more.”

“That’s right!” Bubbles said, bobbing her head.

“Come on. Go back to your cages to rest while I clean this up.” I said.

I can’t believe my husband complains about being an “essential employee.” He has no idea what working from home is really like!

0 Comments

Dear Class of 2020

4/15/2020

0 Comments

Dear Class of 2020:

I’ve seen the Facebook challenge to post our senior pictures in support of you, but honestly don’t see how that will comfort you. To me, it seems the exact opposite. It feels like we’re putting it in your face that we got to have this experience, and you didn’t. Today, I’d like to offer you something more honest that I hope will plant some seeds of inspiration in you for the future.

I’m sorry you’re missing out on the events and rights-of-passage. It sucks that you won’t get to have experiences that are considered hallmarks of “growing up,” like the prom, walking graduation ceremonies, senior skip days, senior trips, and whatever other traditions are given to seniors in your school. What sucks just as much is that you’re missing the experiences of school for the last time: having lunch with your friends, those final projects and classroom days, and time with teachers and fellow students that you didn’t know you were seeing for the last time when life was abruptly interrupted by coronavirus in March. I’ve thought many times of how devastating this would have been for me, especially if it happened my final semester before graduating college. That was one of the happiest times of my life. Rick proposed, I was working on an independent research study that eventually led to qualifying me for the job I have now, I enjoyed all of my classes, I reconnected with an old friend, and I met my goal of achieving a 4.0 GPA. It would have been devastating if they told me not to come back from spring break. In fact, my entire life would have been changed, as yours has been.

There’s not much comfort to offer you. Perhaps high school seniors who are heading to college, or undergraduates who are heading to grad school will reclaim some of these experiences in a few years. I went to a semi-formal ball my sophomore year of college that was tons more fun and much better than my high school prom – but at least I had a prom to compare it to. You’re missing experiences that can’t be replaced or given back to you, because there’s no way to go back in time and reclaim what you’ve missed, through choice or circumstance. I’m sorry.

This is a hard lesson to learn so early in life, and in a rather extreme way. I think COVID-19 has taught every human being on Earth that we are not in control of everything, and circumstances can happen that will derail our best laid intentions and plans. Those are usually lessons that come later in life, through personal things like unexpected changes in health, family, relationships, jobs, or finances. This is one of two reasons why I believe we all have an identity crisis in our 40’s. We’re disappointed that the life plans we made in our 20’s haven’t worked out as we expected. Reconciling who we are against who we hoped to be is a matter of knowing two things: that the unexpected will happen to force us off track (as you’re learning now), and that we all want to be more than we are, when the truth is that all we are is enough.

Sadly, you’re learning the first lesson before you even have that diploma or degree in hand. Life will kick you around, and there’s nothing you can do about it but adapt, adjust, strengthen to stand to the challenge, and take what wisdom and opportunities you can from it. The good news is that you can trust in the Lord not only to see you through, but to work even this tragedy to your good in the end. The trick is standing to the end, and we aren’t there yet. We’re all muddling through this chaotic mess and praying for better days around the next corner.

The second lesson is one that you have to learn for yourself. In fact, I’m 44 years old, and I’m just now “getting it” after life kicking me around for about a decade until I finally grew up and learned that there were things in myself that I needed to work out in order to reach my full potential. That is, in fact, a life long challenge. There will always be things we need to learn, do, fix, adjust to, and mature into. It doesn’t mean there’s a flaw in your character. It means you’re human, just like everybody else on the planet. Just remember that all you are and all you have is enough. The Lord will give you what you need as you move through life, and will work things out to have you where you need to be. You may not always like it, but you’re being given the best and just have to accept whatever it takes to be your best. Life does hurt sometimes, but it ebbs and flows. All things pass. Know the challenges will give way to better days, and enjoy the better days while you have them. The good news is that you have eternity with Christ, so it’s not like you’ll really run out of time. Don’t get in a hurry or rush. Just experience life where you are, enjoy your blessings, and take your lessons with humility and courage.

We’re all missing life experiences. It’s why we’re all so anxious, fidgety, angry, moody, and depressed. Nobody knows what to make of this mess, or what the Lord is trying to work out in us. But missing the milestones are the worst. It feels like being cheated, and it feels personal. It isn’t. You aren’t being punished. None of us are. For you, it’s awful timing – and unfortunately, that does happen in life. I do pray that it leads you on a better path than you anticipated, and know that you will have the light of other experiences shining before you. You can’t get these back, but you can’t miss them all, either. The Lord will give you beauty for these ashes. Just stand firm, and keep the faith.

No, I won’t post my senior picture and put it in your face. You don’t need that. What you need are prayers and support for strength to see you though this crisis – just like the rest of us.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

0 Comments

Two Typical Quarantine Responses

4/9/2020

0 Comments

In surfing social media, it seems there are two typical responses to the quarantine and stay-at-home orders. I'm certain there are plenty of people who fall in between but, of course, people posting on social media seem to be gravitating toward one of these polar responses.

The opportunists. These are people like me who see working from home/staying at home as a chance to finally do things they don't typically have time to do, so they've taken up EVERYTHING. I finished a cross stitch, launched beta reads and edits on Domino five months early, scored a spot in a short story anthology, tackled several home improvement projects (truthfully, this was Rick, but I supported him and helped as much as I could), stayed on top of home care and stocking, started another small cross stitch, and am reading the third novel in the Planetfall series. I have a lot going on, and I'm loving it because the progress feels like it's turbo charged! If only I could do all of this, and do it this quickly, all the time. I can only imagine how much faster I could get it done if I didn't have to log into work all day. Just saving the commute time has made a tremendous difference in my life and productivity. Now I see why part-time workers and retirees are loving life. What's not to love when you finally have time?

The fatalists. I know it's a harsh name, but honestly I'm having trouble coming up with anything better that describes it accurately. These folks are on the other end of the spectrum. Everything is turned upside down, and trying to find new routines is a struggle. Every day is a challenge, and they fight not only to get through the day, but to not fall into anxiety and depression while they muddle through the day. Most of the people I hear from in this camp have circumstances working against them and are in difficult life situations: either medical issues, job and/or money issues, or caregiving for children or incapacitated adults. Some people are in transition phases of life, who have found their plans upended, and don't know how to forge a new path forward - upcoming graduates or people taking on major life changes like marriage, a move, a job change, or having a baby fall in this group. And honestly, I can see why so many people are in this group. The truth is that I'm lucky that I'm middle aged, with not much exciting going on that's been disrupted by COVID-19. I can see how having your routines and experiences disrupted when life was already in a mixed-up state would be discouraging. There are a lot of unknowns, and deep down I think we'd all agree that life is scary right now.

Actually, I think we all have a right to "lose it" occasionally for that very reason. Everything we've known has been wiped away, and we're living in a scary, new reality. Even us opportunists would admit to having moments of feeling overwhelmed or depressed from time to time. The difference is how we manage it. I dig into finding and taking advantage of opportunities - but then again, I can because my life was in a good place before. If this had happened ten years ago, I'd probably be solidly in the fatalists group. Life ebbs and flows, and I'm lucky this happened in a flow.

Don't despair if you're not. I often say in this blog that life is weird, and this is certainly the biggest whopping example of that that I've seen in my life. I think we all "get it" now. The real issue is how we'll emerge to a new reality once this is all over. Will we still all be in it together? Or will it be back to the same old, same old? I think we're hoping for something new, and better. Certainly, there are good things we can take from this, even if it's just wisdom and better skills.

That's all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow, a wonderful weekend, and a blessed Resurrection Sunday. ,

Bye!

0 Comments

Easy Answers

4/1/2020

0 Comments

Last week, I talked about the hard questions that coronavirus is bringing to light. This week, I’d like to talk about one easy answer I’ve found in the social isolation situation we find ourselves in.

I’ve dealt amazingly well with being in quarantine. Honestly, I’ve scared myself a bit with my contentedness to stay at home, work from home, etc lately. I felt the same thing last year when I was personally quarantined with two viruses. It’s a relief not to feel the anxiety that many others are struggling with, but it’s also unsettling that I’m not bothered by relative isolation.

Rick says it’s because I’m an introvert. That’s certainly true, but I think there’s one more thing contributing to it: I’m also an opportunist. I’m not looking at this as OMG, I’m confined to home. For the past two weeks, I’ve been asking myself: what can I do now that I usually don’t have time to do, or that usually takes me longer than I like because of limits on my time? It turns out that question has helped me to adapt, as I’ve been able to stay busy, despite staying at home.

For example: Domino is now in the hands of two beta readers, and has been sent to an editor to see if we can establish a working relationship. This was something I hadn’t planned on doing until the summer, but the social distancing and working from home orders have given me time and opportunity to do another revision, realize I needed outside help to “move on” from the spot I’m at in writing this manuscript, and reaching out to others to get that help. I’m both nervous and looking forward to their feedback: nervous, because I’m certain it will smack my ego, but anticipating some real, solid advice that will get this manuscript (and perhaps, the entire book series that it’s kicking off) on the right track. I know I need it, and I’m happy to pursue it earlier.

I’m also submitting one of my shorter works that fell to the wayside for publication. I honestly forgot about the fact that I laid this piece aside in 2012 when Blurry and Anywhere But Here got published, and am thrilled to rediscover it, clean it up, and pursue publication once again. Of course, that’s opening me up to rejection again, but much like the feedback on Domino, this is part of being a writer. You can’t find success without risking (and having) failure, so here we go. Maybe this time will be the charm. I'll get knocked down, but by the grace of God, I'll get up again.

And, of course, I’m back to chasing my personal white whale of short stories and flash fiction. I’ve at least accepted that I’m never giving up on this, no matter how many times I go through this cycle of starting, failing, getting distracted by novels, stopping, and starting over again. Let’s just hope I have a better end than Ishmael had in Moby Dick. Surly, short stories won’t be the end of me. It might not be my greatest area, but I can at least improve to have some fun and supplement my writing.

In other areas, I am still reading, and the rose cutting cross stitch is framed. It’s beautiful! I’m so excited that it’s done and to enter it in the State Fair this fall. We’ll see if I can capture that particular “white whale” of a blue first place ribbon this year!

So yes, there are opportunities here, and that’s an easy answer we can all accept. I think that’s where I found my contentedness – in taking advantage of them. And, of course, in having all day, every day, in the comfort of my home with my husband and parrots.

What opportunities can you find in this situation? Take a look around. I’ll bet there are many.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

0 Comments

Mind Your Energy

Vengeance on Teddy - A Fiction Journal Entry

Dear Class of 2020

Two Typical Quarantine Responses

Easy Answers

Escape Reality

Archives

Categories