Broken Reality
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Square Pegs

8/5/2014

 
You may recall my mention of being skeptical of “popular people” in Shatterpoint, Chapter 5. Obviously, I’m what some refer to as a “square peg,” and today I’d like to dispel some misconceptions about those of us that don’t quite fit in. People get some funny ideas when you swim against the current, such as:

We aren’t radical non-conformists. We are aware of how we’re unique and accept how our life is different from others. The truth is that everybody’s life is unique. We just don’t fear what makes us different and in many cases, embrace the very things that people usually fear in themselves.

It’s not that we don’t care about others. It’s that we do realize what is and isn’t our business. People are going to think what they want to, so why worry about putting on pretense, masks, and “following the crowd?” The truth is that people have an innate sense for b.s., so you may as well give them something real to live with. They will respect you for being real whether they like what they say or not.

It’s not that we don’t like people. It’s that we value relationships more than anything else and protect them. Don’t mistake “loner” for “lonely.” We appreciate that relationships are about understanding and appreciating others for the unique individuals they are and not for what they can do for you. People aren’t objects to us, and we don’t believe in using them as tools. Our foundation is firm enough that we don’t need props, so we can stand on our own while we nurture and protect our relationships privately, which is completely proper, respectful, and appropriate.

It’s not that we’re judging you. It is that we’re too busy living our own life to get entangled in the drama and scandals that aren’t our concern. Just because you don’t know what we’re doing doesn’t mean we aren’t doing anything. Loners usually have very full lives, and they work hard to keep them in appropriate balance. We do want to offer help and support where we can, but we simply don’t have time to be pulled into created drama, games, or useless fluff, especially when it’s not our business. We choose to focus on what matters most and leave the rest of it alone. We have fewer opinions than most people realize.

It’s not that we’re trying to stand out by being different. It’s that we value independence and freedom. Life is a journey and we want to have the panoramic view, not tunnel vision. Anxiety over “what others might think” is a waste of time and does nothing but suck your joy away – in the end, you limit yourself for nothing. Following the crowd isn’t our thing; following The Spirit is. Joy isn’t found in the noise of expectation but in the quiet stillness of standing alone.

It’s not that we’re idealists. It’s that we’re more in touch with reality than you realize. We know that calling an apple an orange doesn’t make it so no matter how much better it makes others feel. Loners don’t have time for deception or defense mechanisms. We accept the world as it is; not as we want it to be. Because of that, we face things head on and learn from them while others continue to fight and struggle against the inevitable. We don’t fear the darkness; we simply move through it. That’s probably why we seem so tough,less bothered by things, and to adapt easier – and why you usually don’t worry about us while you’re falling apart.

The truth is that “square pegs” aren’t interested in being pounded into holes. We don’t see the world as a “Perfection” game where everything must be in it’s preconceived place but rather as the blessed, jumbled mess that pops up and throws things into more interesting , unexpected places. Our views may be unique, but they’re no less valid. If we want to avoid the noise and take the road less traveled, well, be thankful we’re out of your way. We aren’t interested in turning over systems or rocking the boat. We simply want to row our own boat wherever we please. Give us grace to be ourselves, and we’ll give you grace to follow whatever crowd, trend, or frenzy you please. Who know? If it looks interesting, we may duck in for a while. But don’t worry. We don’t stay. Something more interesting always comes along from the fringes, and it’s usually stuff that most people don’t notice in the whirlwind of “the next big thing.”

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

Thankfulness

11/3/2013

 
Picture
I noticed that Facebook is having their annual "30 Days of Thankfulness" this month. That's a little sad. If you are truly grateful for your blessings, you shouldn't need a reminder to be grateful for them. You should thank God every day for them, and express that gratitude all the time. It's like Valentines Day - if you love someone, you should show it through all that you do. We should appreciate and value our relationships daily, not just one day a year.

I don't know. Maybe we just need the holiday to give ourselves a reason to take time out from day to day life to celebrate it in a big way. But unfortunately, I do believe there are too many people that need the holidays as reminders to not take what they have for granted.

Well, whatever works.

As for me, I know I've found a new appreciation for the blessings in my life after helping Rick through his illness these past few days. I have a life of abundance that's full of love,  blessings, and glory that the Lord has generously bestowed on me. My life is truly filled to overflowing, and although I give thanks for it each day, you are reminded of the small things that give light to your days through having the routine broken up. The ability to create and keep a happy home, offer my talents and abilities through fruitful work, share my inspiration through my writing, and grow in my faith with my church family are cornerstones of my life that I don't often appreciate enough until I have a shakeup like the last few days to interrupt them. I'm just so used to them being there all the time, but these past few days, I've had to take comfort in knowing that, although I couldn't be there or attend to them as I usually do, they would remain and welcome me back when things settled.

I'm happy to report that Rick is recovering. He seems to be through the worst of it and is getting his strength back. Ollie (our parakeet) is also healing - that anti-inflammatory shot the vet gave him Friday seems to be doing the trick to get him back to 100%, and I'm relieved to know his infection is healed. I'm also over my infection - it was rather a stubborn one, but it's gone now.

So I'll return to work tomorrow, grateful to be able to return to my labors. Splinter will be out any day now. I have a long weekend coming up, where I'll enjoy the annual Christmas Craftsman's Classic Craft Show with Mom on Friday, then a long weekend for Veteran's Day. What will we do? There are lots of choices. There's the gun show next weekend, and Thor - The Dark World also comes out. It looks like next weekend is going to be full of fun for me, which is just what I need! Life has been way too much problem solving and troubleshooting lately, and I pray that is passing and I'll be able to enjoy life again.

Sure, there's a lot to be thankful for, and sometimes the little things mean just as much as the big stuff does. I'm fortunate to have a wonderful husband, beautiful birds, and a great family nearby. I have a good home and job. I have amazing friends that are a joy to us. I've been blessed with many amazing things and seen a lot of beautiful places: The Grand Canyon, San Francisco, The Smoky Mountains, Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA, and Myrtle Beach, SC. I've had the excitement of publishing books and another one on the way soon. But for now, I'm just looking forward to the simple pleasures: to Rick and Ollie's continued healing, to handing out with Rick and the birds as often as we can, to watching Supernatural Tuesday and Arrow Wednesday, of getting back to my routine tomorrow, to finishing another read through of The Bible this week (I'm on the Book of Revelation and hope to finish it Thursday),  to the craft show with Mom on Friday, to having time with Rick next weekend to see a movie, or go to the gun show, or both, to getting back to church next Sunday ... just getting back to the simple joys of life.

That's all today. Take care, and have a good week.

Bye!

The Perils of Being "Normal"

8/9/2013

 
I got a copy of my performance evaluation this week and cringed at the opening paragraph. The evaluation was good, but it seems that every one I’ve had for the past 3 years opened with “Since Sherri transferred from her former department, she has …” I sighed as I filed it and said to Chloe (because she was on my shoulder and it would be crazy to talk to myself), “am I destined always be preceded by this note that I’m different from every other employee?” I shook my head at it. I’m always different. I always have been and always will be. 99.9% of the time, it doesn’t bother me because I’m proud of how I’m unique from the rest of the world. But every once in a while, it does get to me.

Then the next day somebody told me about a friend that was irritating them to death with frequent telephone calls. Her friend envied her hair and kept calling to ask how she got her hair to look that for an upcoming event. “It’s ridiculous and she’s driving me crazy!” my friend said, “and she’ll never get it to look like mine. Why can’t she accept it?” My friend is right. One of them has straight hair and one has curly hair. They’ll never have identical hairdos because it’s literally impossible. And then the light went off over my own head: it seems that the desire to be normal actually causes MORE problems than being different. As I ponder this further, it’s true. There’s a lot of strife in this world, and most of it goes back to 2 things:

1. People are jealous and envy what others have; or

2. People don’t understand what others are doing because it doesn’t seem “right” to them, so they object.

And in both situations, there’s no way to have a good, functioning relationship with people. So they  argue. They fight. They try to force and coerce others to doing things the way they believe is “right” and refuse to accept people for who they are. What’s more, many of these people are in church every Sunday, and yet the concept of grace and having enough of it to respect the wants and needs of others goes right past them. It’s like it doesn’t even exist. 

I might not be popular, but at least I have freedom. I don’t envy others because I’m too busy attending to the business of my own life. And as a result of that, I usually don’t spend too much mental energy forming opinions of how other people are leading their life unless they intrude on my time/space/territory (then it’s fair game, because I do have a right to determine what is and is not acceptable in my own life, and I can give you the name of a few witnesses that will attest to the fact that I will indeed do just that if you invade my life). I might not understand things, but one thing I’ve learned in adulthood is wisdom is gained from mistakes, and experience is, in many instances, a greater teacher than words. I remember what J.R.R. Tolkein wrote in The Lord of the Rings about the burned hand taking lessons of fire to heart. I also remember what C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters about the prayer the devil loves the most is “make me like everybody else.” That’s Satan’s playground, where every deadly sin has a place to take root. I see the point.  If “everybody is doing it,” then that’s reason to stop right there and ask if it’s wisdom or just the next foolish net laid for this season’s catch.

I know I have too many rough edges for some people to deal with, but I’ve found that they deal with being real and honest a lot better than being fake. I’ve also learned that, as the saying goes about birthday’s, “it’s a matter of mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Being true to who the Lord made you to be not only guarantees that you will find and fulfill all of your purposes in life, but that the opinions of others really don’t matter to you. Things tend to turn out for the best if you stay true to yourself, anyway. Yes, people still shake their head at me occasionally. Yes, I get frustrated with the lack of understanding from time to time. No, I’ll never be popular. No, I’m not in any cliques. I go my own way and do my own thing. But people know my personal policy, and that they can trust me to always do my very best, no matter what. And a funny thing  happens when you stand your ground – people are more comfortable being their real self when they see that you aren’t afraid. They open up more and worry less, and in turn you develop stronger relationships based on mutual trust and respect. That’s just not possible in cliques based on fake conformity, masks, and facades. They can have that, because I don’t have time for what’s fake. Give me something real or get outta here. That’s my stand.

Last week, I read an interesting line in my weekly devotional. It said “God doesn’t want you to be happy. He wants you to do what’s right.” That’s absolutely true. I’m reading through The Bible, and one thing that strikes me is God’s repeated statement to “obey my commands.” Not “do whatever and you’ll be okay,” but “obey my commands.” This is usually followed by a list of how people will prosper if they do and suffer if they don’t. Furthermore, Jesus went on to say that He wants us to have life in all its abundance – but you have to do what’s right to get it. Jesus didn’t say “have an okay life.” He said “life in abundance.”  It seems to me that if you do what’s right, then happy is a side effect.  Too many people are hung up on their feelings these days. They want happy, but don’t understand what it takes to get happy. It’s like they’re feasting on French fries and leaving the steak untouched. Doing right = happy. Do wrong = hurt. It’s the simplest equation and yet, through all of human history, we still don’t get it. I think it goes back to the Mark Twain quote that “opportunity is often missed because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” True enough.

I think this is why unique people are happier in the long run. They aren’t caught up in the trappings of “what everybody else is doing” and “what should be” like others are. They aren’t afraid of who they are or of the hard work it takes to accomplish their dreams. They’re playing the hand they have and making the best of it. And after a while, you learn to play it to win – even if it’s a hand full of jokers!

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and  have a great weekend.

Bye!

Do This At Your Own Risk

4/18/2013

 
Okay folks, I want to open this by saying that this is not a “shame on you” entry. I know I’m going up against things that have existed since the dawn of time, and I don’t pretend that this entry will open eyes and magically change the world. I’m merely trying to raise awareness of unrecognized perils to something that we all do, and hope it will lead to some wisdom in actions. Likely not, but you can’t plead ignorance after reading this entry. 

I’ll cut to the chase. We all play favorites. It’s not a “thing” limited to certain places or relationships. We do it all the time and we do it everywhere. It happens in families (you know it does). It happens at work. It happens at church. It happens in clubs, societies, sororities, classrooms, emergency rooms, waiting rooms – hell, I’ve even seen it happen at the county dump when the cute blonde in the sporty car was waved ahead of me to empty trash. Call it “favoritism.” Call it “the good old boy system.” Call it “cliques” or “popularity contests.” Call it whatever you want. It happens.

I know everybody reading this is shouting and saying “oh hell no.” Oh hell yes. Let’s drop the pretense and b.s. for just a few minutes. I promise not to go on too long and you can resume the “formalities” momentarily. Besides, I’m trying to help you here. At least in my own, strip-off-the-nonsense-and-call-it-like-it-is way. And remember, I said we’re all guilty. Me too. You too. Everybody too. Even my birds have their “favorite humans.” This could well precede not only time and space, but all of creation. Partiality happens. There’s no stopping it. 

It’s a simple fact that yes, we are predisposed to react more favorably to some people and situations than others. It’s personality – some just go together better than others. It’s also life experience – we relate better to those that have faced similar experiences or have a similar lifestyle. There are complex nature/nurture forces at play that make us more receptive and gracious toward some people than others. Likewise, there are some types we throw up our guard against. I mentioned in the last entry that it miffs me that charisma wins over character so much – that’s because I’ve been the victim of people using charisma to hide serious character flaws several times. Their “God bless us every one” demeanor was hiding a nasty temper bent on utter annihilation. So naturally, I don’t trust “popular” people because I see the red lightsaber just waiting to stab me. 

That being said, it happens. Despite modern science, I doubt we ever unlock the secrets of the human personality. It’s too complex and this is one of those things that you can’t account for. We naturally like some people better than others. And conversely, we naturally dislike those that strike us unfavorably. There’s no cure for it. You can’t fix it and people are going to play favorites. It’s going to happen. Now here’s where we run into the problem:

 Nobody likes being a “not favorite.” Anytime you complement somebody, anytime you recognize somebody, anytime you put someone on a pedestal or offer public praise or thanks, then other people will feel left out and perceive it as a slight. Because no man is an island and no matter how wonderful Mr. or Miss Wonderful is, it’s unlikely they did it on their own. And, sad to say, some people are very good at getting other people to do everything and having the credit funneled directly to their feet. But that’s another entry for another day. Recognition – and especially public recognition – can open a nasty can of worms that you don’t even know until they’re crawling up your leg. At best, the people you failed to recognize will quit on you, and you’re setting your favorite to the test of picking up the load. At worst, they’ll turn on you. And God help you if it’s a former favorite that you’ve changed your mind about and they know stuff. Ouch.

So does that mean public recognition of good service should be banned? Not at all. I’m just saying that if you want the dog to stay in the yard, then you need to throw them a bone. And not just the head of the pack – everyone in the yard needs a bone. So if you’re going to thank people, be sure that you take off what I call the “swell guy” blinders and open your eyes to everybody. Don’t hold one person up unless you have darn strong justification to do it. And going the extra mile to find out what speaks to a person can also help. Some people don’t want public recognition. My colleagues are smart enough to know an occasional “thank you,” showing interest in my writing, and a bar-b-que luncheon once or twice a year will keep me from squawking like a pissed off parakeet. Which is hilarious, because it didn’t take them long to figure that out and my former colleagues never did get it. Some things are a mystery because you choose not to put forth the two seconds to notice, eh?

My point is this – we all play favorites, but it helps to check yourself every now and then. Showing favoritism is generally considered impolite,; and I know we don’t care for etiquette in the 21st century, but this is a formality that perhaps needs to be reinstated. Did you notice in the paragraph above that I was open to what types I’m not partial to, but I didn’t mention what types I am partial to? No way I’m telling that. But at least you know what raises my defenses, so there’s my attempt at leveling the playing field. Now you know a trigger to avoid with me. 

That being said, it might behoove you to quietly put your favorites in your inner circle and exercise discretion in your dealings. Don’t let it show. Throw the non-favorites something every now and then. And for goodness sake, if you do a public acknowledgement and get wind that somebody feels slighted, please take Dale Carnige’s advice to humbly apologize and rectify the situation. Digging in your heels and fighting to justify yourself won’t win friends or influence people.  Just say “sorry, I am grateful for you and will be glad to acknowledge it with an apology for leaving you out,” do it, and let it go. That’s character and will close out the situation much faster that “well I did it because they did la de dah de dah and where were you then?”

And as for the rest of us, give us a bar-b-que luncheon. Yea, that’ll shut us up. For a minute.

That’s all today. You may now resume the formalities of pretending like we modern folks don’t do this crap. 

Bye!

Bleed It Out

1/29/2013

 
I did it! I completed the final draft of Move last night and sent it to one of my publishers! Now cross your fingers and pray they accept it for publication. I hope they do. I've put a lot into this one. It's my longest novel to date at around 60,600 words. And you all know that I've worked on it, and worked on it, and researched it, and slaved over it. But it's worth it. I feel it's a good story and it's ready for the world - or at least, it will be when I get the right publisher and editor working on it with me.

Another world created. I enjoyed working on this one. In a way, I'm sad that it's done! I loved that world and it's sad to leave it - and the characters that really do seem like familiar friends to me - behind. I pulled from all over, passed along some lessons learned (and reinforced), drew from lots of experiences, and relationships, and people that have come and gone in my life over the years. Indeed, a writer's muse draws from reality and experience. Every time the world cracks open a bit more, it's a ray of inspiration to creating our own new worlds.

Such is the life of a novelist. You bleed it out through your writing. All you learn, all you know, all you do, everything around you, inspires you to create new characters and worlds that mirror reality and reflect what you know to the world in visions that allow them to escape, and yet take your world back to their own.

Yes, I love being a novelist. And even though I plan to take a break from novels for a little while to focus on writing short stories and articles, I know I'll be back. I always am. I hope the ideas never run out.

Naw, that won't happen. Where there's life, there's inspiration. And that's a ray of hope that keeps me going.
 
That's all today. Take care.

Bye!
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    Escape Reality

    By day, I'm an Administrative Coordinator. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction rebuilds broken realities into something new. See how my experiences lead to creating new worlds! 

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