Broken Reality
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What I've Learned

11/23/2016

 
​As fun as the holiday season is, it still requires a bit of discernment and common sense. For example, I learned a few years ago that the best time to take off for Thanksgiving is actually the week after the holiday. I learned this quite by accident a couple of years ago, when I was knocked out by the flu that week. Mind you, I didn’t feel like being out and about, but I couldn’t help but notice how much calmer and less crowded things were the week after Thanksgiving. Frankly, there’s too much chaotic energy out there with the crowds on the days between Thanksgiving Eve and Black Friday. No thanks. I take off the week after and get a lot more done. Plus, sales are usually still in effect the Monday and Tuesday after Thanksgiving weekend, although the stores don’t want you to know that. They may not be as deeply discounted and the selection may be a bit less, but there’s still plenty on sale.
 
I’ve also learned that you have to stop and think before you buy. People are still trying to make a buck. Last year, a guy tried to talk me into buying a $100 flat iron. He claimed it was “worth the investment in myself” because his iron had special ionization technology that other flat irons don’t have, so my style would last all day. What he didn’t know was that he was talking to the daughter of an electrical designer, who knows that heat itself causes ionization. That’s physics, not technology.  I told him I needed to think it over, then drove up the road to Target and got one for $17. It ionizes just fine, and for a lot less than the line he tried to sell me.
 
The same goes for other things. Too often, we’re willing to pay more for convenience when we would do better to look elsewhere. I’ve caught myself in this a lot lately. Yesterday, I found a gift box at a craft store for $8.99. I almost got it, until I remembered that I got sturdier, bigger gift boxes last year at Dollar General. Never mind. It’s going to get tossed, so it isn’t worth the investment. Which reminds me, I need to check our packaging and wrapping supplies and make that trip to Dollar General when I go shopping next week.
 
I also learned that the most wonderful time of the year is also the least attentive time of the year. I can always tell when the holidays are approaching because the week before Thanksgiving is when I have to return the most stuff because it’s incomplete. It’s amazing that the holiday season can get people motivated to get things done more than any “real” deadline (because nobody in their right mind would set an actual deadline during the holiday season if they could possibly avoid it). Nearly 19 years in the workforce have taught me to slow down and pay more attention to things in November and December to make sure I don’t fall into the holiday-rush fallacy.
 
Speaking of split attention, I’ve also learned that it’s useless to mail Christmas cards until the week before Christmas. Fewer people are sending them anyway, so why bother until I get everything else done? What used to be the first thing I did for the holidays has shifted to the last.
 
And finally, I’ve learned that parrots have an intuitive sense that it’s the holidays. Perhaps they sense it because of the more frequent deliveries from Amazon, since I started that shopping just after Halloween. Maybe they’re learned to read the seasons and times, and those changing leaves outside the window are telling the tale. Or maybe it’s because I turned on the radio to Christmas songs this morning. Whichever the case they get it, and they’re about to pop. They know Santa’s on his way, and that the decorations are coming any day now.
 
You live and learn in this ever changing world, but that’s ok. We need to stretch the grey matter every now and then. Otherwise, we might be getting in crowds, paying too much, and submitting incomplete stuff all over the place, which is all avoidable.
 
That’s all today. Take care. Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving and a wonderful week.
 
Bye!

Better or Bitter?

11/17/2016

 
I had a whole blog written about having the grace to let others be who they are and respect their opinions, and deleted it. Frankly, I’m sick of the fallout over last week’s election. It’s over, for goodness sake, and we need to get over it. Reality didn’t turn out the way a lot of people expected. That’s life. You adjust to what actually happened and move on. 

I don’t mean to be harsh, but it’s another testament to the fact that life is unpredictable. We see this all the time, in ways large and small. People don’t do what we think they’ll do, and things don’t go the way we hoped. Heck, that could sum up the entire last half of my 30’s! Sometimes, our expectations are unrealistic and we’re just plain wrong. Sometimes, circumstances knock everything out of alignment and there’s no way anybody could see it coming (or could they? But then again, at that point, does it really matter?). The point is there are a lot of things out of our control, and we have to adjust. It’s how we learn and grow. It hurts like hell, but you go through trusting that you’re coming out to a better tomorrow. All things happen for a reason and work together for good; you just don’t know why  or how long it will take. The bottom line is that trials can make us bitter or better - better is the intent, but we have to believe they can lead to better times, and belief requires faith and patience, both of which seem to be in a disturbingly short supply these days. 

I read a line in a book today that really struck me: “every age had its losses.” Nothing lasts forever, and we’re always called to let things go because it means there’s usually something better in store. I think this is the fact that a lot of people are missing in the anxiety and disappointment resonating through our society in the wake of the election shock. We’re so fearful of change that we fail to consider that it has the potential to take us to better days. And this is a truth we’d better consider, because that line went on to say “just keep learning.” We better learn, or there’s no way we can bring the potential for a better tomorrow into reality unless we stop whining and moaning, and decide to pursue it.

That’s all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!

The Real Problem

11/13/2016

 
And the fallout from the election results continues. Protests, ugly social media posts, squabbles, frustration, and fights. Funny, we thought it would all be over last Wednesday, when in fact it was just getting started in a whole new way. 

I've heard a lot of accusations being hurled, mostly at the millennials who seem to be at the forefront of this surge. Words like crybaby, spoiled, and entitled are being hurled about as we lambast them for their immaturity and disrespect for a system that's been around since the founding of this country. It's ridiculous, we say. Who do they think they are? What's their problem? Where was all of this energy last Tuesday, where it would have made a difference? 

I'll agree on that last point. Certainly, they should have made their voices heard when it really counted on Election Day. However, I believe we're jumping to age-old stereotypes of the younger generation on all of the others. If we're really fair about this, I think we can take a look around and see that the blame isn't as much on generational expectations as it is on how the world has changed over the past few decades. Let's face it: people have always clucked their tongues at the up-and-coming generation. I was in high school and college during the days of "grunge," and I remember how everybody feared for the future, Fast forward a couple of decades, and Generation X and Generation Y are doing pretty good at keeping the world turning after all. No, we didn't see the same world that our parents and grandparents saw, but better times didn't doom us to a collapsing world. In fact, I'd say our biggest problem right now is simply in numbers: the baby boomers and millennials outnumber us in droves, and I think the biggest testament to our generations will be bridging the technology gap between the world we had and the world emerging from tremendous advances in science, communication, and technology. 

It's the same thing all over here. We live in a world where everybody's voice can be heard. The Internet and social media have made us all a bigger star of our own universe, and it makes our voices carry longer, louder, and further than ever before. Unfortunately, we tend to forget that all of the other voices out there believe that what they think and say is just as important as what we think and say, and the election protests are an excellent example of what happens when everybody's talking, but nobody's listening. In all of the noise, we forget that we're normal people and our voice is just one of many. We have greater means to talk, but we haven't learned how to hear.

We also need to remember that traits and characteristics aren't limited to a generation. I know people my own age with a two-ton chip on their shoulder that are angry at the world. I've known senior citizens with the maturity of a pre-teen, and teens with wisdom decades beyond their physical age. And I've seen people of all ages glued to their phones. Growing up, it seems, really is optional - or at least, we treat it that way. 

I do pray that we can find our way together to make all of these voices something more than the noise of our time. There are plenty of needs in this world and there's no way to attend to them all unless we work together. The United States of America really is the greatest nation, and if we want to remain that way, then we must remain One Nation Under God. 

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

Surprise! Trump's President-Elect!

11/10/2016

 
The 2016 Presidential Election is over, and half of the country is still in a state of shock. It’s clear that a lot of people had no idea there was so much malcontentment over the state of our nation. Election Day brought three uncomfortable realities to light: we aren’t listening to one another, we don’t care about how things impact people other than ourselves, and the ones that have been swept under the rug for nearly a decade are sick of it and willing to go to any lengths to be heard. In short, there are a lot of people who believe this country is going to hell in a handbasket, and they’re fighting because they don’t want to go with it.

I understand that neither candidate is exactly what many of us wanted. If you had told me when I visited New York City when I was 13 that Donald Trump would be the President of the United States, I would have given you a “no way!” worthy of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Then there’s the brouhaha that was the Democratic Nomination, where accusations of rigging put Sanders out of the race. Honestly, I feel like one part of how things came to be is the mess that brought us to this point. Our choices weren’t great, and here’s where all of that chaos landed.

There’s plenty of celebrating and complaining out there, especially over the disparity over the popular vote versus the electoral vote. I took enough statistics in college to know that numbers are a funny thing, and they don’t always say the obvious. The truth is that this was a dead heat race, and there was no way for a clear winner to emerge so the process had to work. As an American, you should respect that process and accept the results. Plenty of Republicans have had to swallow it and accept the past two election results, and now the tables have turned. That’s not just democracy, it’s life and, as Dad says, life isn’t fair. You move on.

Who knows what happens from here? I don’t, but one thing I feel certain of is that it won’t be what any of us expect. If we’re starting out with a surprise, then I have a feeling that more surprises are on the way. I hope we can all get ok with that, because despite it all, we’re still one nation, and we need to unite. That’s the best path to better days ahead.

That’s all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!

Keys to a Simple Life

11/4/2016

 
​I’ve read a book and watched a TV show where characters moved away from the city to forsake modern life, and embrace a life of simplicity. I’m sure we’re all familiar with this: people getting frustrated with the “rat race” of modern life, and saying to heck with it all. In looking at the similarities between the stories, it made me wonder: what is a life of simplicity? Do you really have to shun modern conveniences – electricity, running water, and all technology – in order to have a simple life?
 
The answer I came to was no. In fact, the life they chose to embrace seemed anything but simple to me. Sure, the distractions of modern technology are removed, but relegating yourself to an agrarian lifestyle actually seems like more work to me than living in the suburbs, driving to the city to work, and coming home at the end of the day. Farming can’t be easy work. Heck, growing a vegetable garden in our back yard was such a challenge that I quit with that years ago. You’d have to completely re-educate yourself about seasons, growing crops, animal care, and how to eat, heat and cool your home, and get around. Plus, everything would take longer to do and be more work without cooking and cleaning appliances. Despite its seeming charm, I don’t believe our ancestors had an easier life that we have. In fact, I think they’re looking down on us with envy over cars, washers and dryers, and central heating and air conditioning.
 
Still, modern life is stressful in its own ways. Being able to do things faster means we’re expected to do more, and the pressure keeps building as the pace of life gets faster and faster. So what does having a simple life mean? I think it boils down to three things:
 
Be true to yourself. Different people have different callings, and if you’re living a life true to your talents and abilities, then you should be happy. Not all of us are called to be the boss, and yet society puts pressure on us to keep moving onward and upward. I’ve been asked many times why I don’t pursue a supervisory role after 17 years on my job, and I stick to my guns: I’m happy where I’m at, and moving up wouldn’t make me happy. Plus, my job has been reorganized three times since I started, so it isn’t like I’m withering on the vine here – I’m still challenged and growing, and I’m happy with that. There’s more to life than money and titles, and my goal is and always has been to live a full, balanced life. The job I have allows that, and until or unless that changes, then there’s no point on “moving on up” unless I feel a Spiritual prompt to do so. Be obedient to your calling, and it won’t break you because you’ll be blessed and favored in handling it.
 
Use self discipline. Too many people take on more than they can handle because they want to “have it all.” I’ll tell you a secret: you can have it all, but you can’t have it all at one time. Life has many seasons, and each season will be blessed with the abundance of that time. You have to know yourself well enough to keep a balanced life, and to know what you can handle. Simply put, you can’t have a full time job, a family, go back to school for an advanced degree, run three volunteer committees at the same time, and be part of five social groups. You can’t do it all at one time, so don’t try! I learned that I can’t write and do my crafting at the same time, so I save my crafting ideas for when I’m on a break from my writing. And when I’m knee deep in writing or promotion, the crafting bags and boxes go back in the closet until the next break. Yes, I’d love to have a life where I can enjoy both at the same time, but I’ve accepted that it won’t be possible until I retire, and this is how I handle it now. Take stock of your life, and focus on one or two things outside of your daily responsibilities. You might be amazed at how much more you accomplish when you give yourself time and space to truly enjoy what means the most to you.
 
Set boundaries. Simply put, mind your own business, and don’t let others further into your own than they belong.  Sure, you should do what you can to help others, and you should accept help from others when you need it. No man is an island, but our spheres don’t completely merge with other people, and it’s critical to know where the overlap ends. I’ve found that the fewer opinions I have, the happier I am. You have to trust other people to do what’s right, and they need to respect that you have the same right. Does that mean you can always trust it to happen? Absolutely not, but we all own our decisions and the consequences of them – it’s how we learn, and we don’t need to interfere with what the Lord is trying to do with and in others. If you’re doing the best that you can and others still have a problem with it, they can shove off. Likewise, you don’t need to intrude in other peoples’ lives. Again, you have to have enough wisdom and discernment to know how much overlap is appropriate, and when it’s time to back off and let things go. Respect limits, and you may find that others respect yours more. You receive what you give, after all, so be mindful of what you’re putting out there.
 
A life of simplicity doesn’t mean removing yourself from the world at large. You can’t really do that anyway. You’re always going to have responsibilities, so a simple life really does come down to making decisions that create a right balance in your life for the season you’re in. If you remain aware and true to that in prayer, then I think you can have a life of simplicity, no matter where you’re at.
 
That’s all today. Have a Happy Friday and a wonderful weekend.
 
Bye! 
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    Escape Reality

    By day, I'm an Administrative Coordinator. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction rebuilds broken realities into something new. See how my experiences lead to creating new worlds! 

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