There are few absolutes in this world, but as I ponder the development of Trigger, I'm forced to consider one of them, and how it's going to affect the story. It's one that has a tremendous impact, both in fiction and reality. In fact, it's a guiding principle that I use in creating and developing my characters. Maybe this is why reviewers often tell me that they like my characters and find them believable: because I stick to the one thing that never wavers in human nature. And what is this truth?
People won't change until their paradigm is shifted so significantly that it's impossible for them to remain the same.
What the hell does that mean?
Here it is in layman's terms: you've heard that you can't change people. We all know that. Heck, it's why I abandoned my career goals of being a therapist, skipped grad school, went into administrative work, and became an indie writer. A few short months of volunteer work in a mental health facility smashed my vision that there was actually meaningful work being done when I realized that the mental health field medicates the hell out of the worst ones, and the best ones only "stay on the wagon" for as long as it takes to get them out of therapy. It's gone a long way in research, but not as far as it should have by the twenty-first century in development. You can see what I mean if you watch Captain America: Civil War. Did anybody notice that, for all the impressive technology and abilities they had that nobody could figure out how to fix Bucky's brainwashing? He went back into stasis because they could make him super human, but they couldn't undo the programming in his head. That struck me as seriously messed up, but it's the truth, and it's a truth that seemed to escape everybody else.
And herein lies your problem. It's all an inside job and the truth is that the human mind usually has to be shocked into change. Our thinking and behavior are habits, and we're naturally resistant to it. The only thing that will instigate real and long-lasting change is a tremendous shock to our beliefs through the loss or potential loss of something we believe we can't live without. A death to somebody close to us, the loss of a job or career, estrangement from a close friend or family member. We've heard it said that we learn more from bad than good, because pain is a powerful motivator. We'll do anything to avoid it, or to prevent it if we can. So what does this mean?
In reality: sorry to say, but getting mad at somebody isn't going to change them. They may love you, but they love themselves better, and most people are pretty sure that they're swell people that don't need the likes of you passing judgement on them. I can't tell you how many times people ignored me getting mad at them, but they snapped into shape when they found that same behavior alienated them from somebody or something they liked better (important connections and money seem to be extremely powerful motivators). A better way to deal is to set boundaries of what you will and will not accept in your life, and enforce them. The adage that "what you will allow will continue" is absolutely true. Everybody needs boundaries to have a contented, balanced life. Decide what you'll put up with, and be prepared to enforce it. You'll find out when you walk away how much they really value the relationship. People who truly fear losing you will respect them. People who don't will find the door.
In fiction: you've heard about the importance of conflict, and this is why. Your job is to present your character/characters with something that challenges their beliefs and regular actions in such a way that they have to question why they're doing what they're doing, and if there's a better way. Push them so they fail, repeatedly if necessary, until their true values are exposed, questioned, and challenged in such a way that they simply can't be the person they were. If your major and even some of your secondary characters make it from the first to the last page without having their paradigm shifted in a way that it's made them into a new person, then you've failed and you need to push them harder. Readers want to see the characters grow and change, to make mistakes and rise above them, to learn and become better people, through what they face. They want to believe they can do it, too.
But only if they have to, of course.
That's all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the weekend.
Bye!
People won't change until their paradigm is shifted so significantly that it's impossible for them to remain the same.
What the hell does that mean?
Here it is in layman's terms: you've heard that you can't change people. We all know that. Heck, it's why I abandoned my career goals of being a therapist, skipped grad school, went into administrative work, and became an indie writer. A few short months of volunteer work in a mental health facility smashed my vision that there was actually meaningful work being done when I realized that the mental health field medicates the hell out of the worst ones, and the best ones only "stay on the wagon" for as long as it takes to get them out of therapy. It's gone a long way in research, but not as far as it should have by the twenty-first century in development. You can see what I mean if you watch Captain America: Civil War. Did anybody notice that, for all the impressive technology and abilities they had that nobody could figure out how to fix Bucky's brainwashing? He went back into stasis because they could make him super human, but they couldn't undo the programming in his head. That struck me as seriously messed up, but it's the truth, and it's a truth that seemed to escape everybody else.
And herein lies your problem. It's all an inside job and the truth is that the human mind usually has to be shocked into change. Our thinking and behavior are habits, and we're naturally resistant to it. The only thing that will instigate real and long-lasting change is a tremendous shock to our beliefs through the loss or potential loss of something we believe we can't live without. A death to somebody close to us, the loss of a job or career, estrangement from a close friend or family member. We've heard it said that we learn more from bad than good, because pain is a powerful motivator. We'll do anything to avoid it, or to prevent it if we can. So what does this mean?
In reality: sorry to say, but getting mad at somebody isn't going to change them. They may love you, but they love themselves better, and most people are pretty sure that they're swell people that don't need the likes of you passing judgement on them. I can't tell you how many times people ignored me getting mad at them, but they snapped into shape when they found that same behavior alienated them from somebody or something they liked better (important connections and money seem to be extremely powerful motivators). A better way to deal is to set boundaries of what you will and will not accept in your life, and enforce them. The adage that "what you will allow will continue" is absolutely true. Everybody needs boundaries to have a contented, balanced life. Decide what you'll put up with, and be prepared to enforce it. You'll find out when you walk away how much they really value the relationship. People who truly fear losing you will respect them. People who don't will find the door.
In fiction: you've heard about the importance of conflict, and this is why. Your job is to present your character/characters with something that challenges their beliefs and regular actions in such a way that they have to question why they're doing what they're doing, and if there's a better way. Push them so they fail, repeatedly if necessary, until their true values are exposed, questioned, and challenged in such a way that they simply can't be the person they were. If your major and even some of your secondary characters make it from the first to the last page without having their paradigm shifted in a way that it's made them into a new person, then you've failed and you need to push them harder. Readers want to see the characters grow and change, to make mistakes and rise above them, to learn and become better people, through what they face. They want to believe they can do it, too.
But only if they have to, of course.
That's all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the weekend.
Bye!
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