I once read where someone said "you can have it all, but not at one time." I believe this is true. In light of my last entry on the sacrifices I've made to accomodate what's most important in my life, I realize that the issue of having too much to do and too little time to do it is a universal theme.

The world is such a big place, and full of endless possibilities. The problem is that we are always limited by responsibilities or obligations that bind us and force us to choose which we would rather have - this or that. We only have so much time, or money, or energy, and we must set priorities because of these limitations. No human being is free of this. There's always going to be at least one thing that binds us and keeps us from total and complete freedom - and more likely, it will be several things, or a combination of factors.

I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. After all, what happens when there's no sense of accountability? Chaos, that's what. It turns into a state of anarchy and all civility goes the way of the wind. I'm thinking about the Israeliltes during the time of Moses as an example of this, and how the 10 commandments were sent down not once but TWICE. Why? Because the people went wild and out of control when their leader was gone for 40 days to get the law that was set to guide them to a better life, and they descended into a state of anarchy where they made up their own rules of what was god and what was right.

Yes, freedom would be nice, but is it really what we need? I think not. Perhaps God gives us responsibility and obligations not to bind us, but to give us a framework for seeing what's really important and helping us see what's a distraction so we can enjoy what we have to the fullest. After all, Christians are supposed to be accountable not only to God, but to one another. We are to deal fairly and honestly, as Jesus would. And really, accountability is a good thing. It promotes responsibility, cooperation, harmony, balance, and the most important thing in life: relationships.

If you consider it, we really do get our freedom a piece at a time. The changing nature of life allows us the freedom to experience a full spectrum of life through each passing season. Nothing stays the same forever, adn the changing nature of life gives us the freedom to experience a broad range of experiences when the timing is right for us.

It's a paradox to be sure, but I'm learning that life is full of paradoxes. I think the bottom line is that we should enjoy each and every relationship we have when we have it, and to enjoy life in the right ways - no matter where it may have us at the moment.

I got my first “dud” Christmas gift when I was 16 years old. It was one of those “trolls” that were so popular in the early to mid-90’s. I don’t know if any of you remember them – they were small dolls with outfits and wild hair. They were quite the craze at the time, and one of my friends thought I’d like one. 

I hated it. But I didn’t want to offend her, so I put on a smile and said “wow, it’s interesting.” Unfortunately, this friend didn’t know me well enough to know that “interesting” from me could me in a good or bad way. I meant the bad way. She thought I meant the good way. And the word spread. Then someone got the bright idea: Let’s help Sherri build up a troll collection. 

I wound out with countless of these hideous, ugly figurines. The rumor even made it’s way to my family, who also bestowed me with several to add to my “collection.” I didn’t know what to do, because I understood their intentions were good and didn’t want to offend anybody. So for years, I had a corner of my room devoted to this hideous, ugly monstrosity building up in my life. By the time Rick and I started dating 3 years later, the collection took up an entire shelf on my bookshelf. They represented every holiday or possible event that had taken place in my life.

 “That’s an interesting collection,” Rick commented. 

“I hate them!” I said, finally cracking. “Somebody thought I liked them and told everybody!”

“Really? Then why do you have them up? That’s only going to encourage people to give you more of them.”

That made me think. I was in college by that time, and had lost touch with many of the old high school friends that gave me those horrible monsters. So I took the collection down. A few friends that visited asked about them later and I told them that I outgrew it and was no longer interested in the collection. Their popularity was waning by that time anyway (thank God), so I didn’t face too many questions over it. 
 
Looking back, that whole three year scenario was avoidable. I could have been honest and told my friends that I appreciated the unique gift, but I didn’t want to make a collection out of them. Or I could have “regifted” it to a friend at another school the next year. I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, but honesty really is better in the long run, and I resented those trolls for far longer than any feelings would have been hurt by just saying from the start that I didn’t like the things. 
 
The point of this entry is that you’re going to get a gift that’s a dud every now and then. We celebrate the holidays every year, so it’s inevitable that something is going to be a bust from time to time. The secret is to handle these situations appropriately and as discretely as possible. If it’s a wrong size or style or if it’s something you can’t have because of allergy or health problems, be honest. Remember that people give you gifts because they want you to use them, and they’ll feel bad if you can’t. If it’s something that can be corrected, by all means talk to them and get it exchanged or refunded so the problem can be corrected. If it’s something that you can’t have because of your health, let people know because they don’t want their gifts to make you sick. 

And if it’s a “troll” situation like mine, well, you have options. You can give it a try. I thought the slipper socks from my last entry were going to be another “troll,” but I tried them and they because a gem. Sometimes things do work out in unexpected ways. If you don’t want to give it a try, you can ask about exchanging it for something more appropriate, or you can regift it. I warn you, though, to note the name of the giver. Regifting to the person that gave you the present is rude, so be discrete and make sure you give it to somebody different.   

Then there are those situations where the person gives you the same thing every year, and by golly they aren’t going to change  no matter what. I’ve known a few people that give magazine subscriptions every year and they refuse to give anything else, even though many of their recipients have asked for something different every year. Likewise, I think we’ve all had the one relative that gives you a gift that you absolutely can’t use every year, and they won’t consider a change. These are usually situations where the giver  has limited resources, and they probably can’t do much more.  You have no choice but to accept these gifts. But take heart. You’ll probably appreciate those handmade towels or sweaters one day for happy memories, even if you wouldn’t dream of wearing them in public. And magazines can be shared, so take those issues to the “giveaway” table at work, or donate them to a local doctor’s or dentist’s office. 

Incidentally, I ran across one of those pesky trolls when I took down the Christmas decorations a few weeks ago. I put it on the “giveaway” table at work. And surprisingly, somebody took it. Oh well, better them than me.  

I’ve often said that when you first tell people that you want to be a writer, expect a lot of blank stares at best, and a reaction akin to announcing that you plan to become a serial killer at worst. That is, until you get published. Then everybody will know you and proudly proclaim that they knew you “back when.” They’ll completely forget all the times they said “why do you want to do that?” or “didn’t you graduate? Why not go back to school instead if that’s what you want to do?” Or any other number of “helpful suggestions” that included doing anything but that. 
 
That’s not to say that I didn’t have support. Of course, those closest to me wanted me to succeed at making my dreams come true, but let’s face it – your inner circle is usually pretty small. Most of the people you know won’t be in it, and they certainly won’t understand the things that are most important to you. In fact, even those in your “inner circle” will eventually lose their enthusiasm for your personal pursuits if they don’t see results face, and often. It’s unfortunate, but peoples’ attention spans are usually much shorter than God’s timing. Most people don’t have patience to stay the course, especially in a culture where everything is instantaneous and available with the click of the mouse or the press of a button. That’s why I believe that internal motivation is perhaps the most important element in pursuing your authenticity and purpose in life. 
 
What is internal motivation? Basically, it’s the determination and inner drive to see things through to the end, no matter what it takes. I’ve said before that God will only reveal purpose to you, and for that reason you simply can’t rely on others to hold you up and carry you through the finish line. They have their hands full with their own lives and frankly, they are probably overwhelmed with keeping up with the day to day grind of reality. You must have strength within you to stay the course and be determined to see things through all the way to the end, no matter how many battles or struggles you must endure. There path to purpose isn’t a straight line, but rather a winding highway. There will be progress and setbacks, trials and errors, success and failure, as you wind through the journey. Some people will be with you for all of it, some for part, but remember that they are also taking their own journey’s. We all only have so much emotional energy and must dedicate it to those things that matter most. And let’s be honest, what are you more concerned with: Your own life or somebody elses’? That’s not being selfish – it’s just the way it is. We must attend to our own obligations and priorities first and foremost. 

Likewise, there are also people that don’t want to see you succeed. This usually isn’t personal, even though it feels like a very real attack on who we are. It’s really smoke and mirrors for their own insecurity. I believe we all have these “emotional vampires” in our lives that can find the dark cloud in any silver lining and discourage us from doing anything that causes us to rise above where we’re at. Their security is in making sure that you (and often, everybody they know) stay inside the convenient box they’ve put you in for their own comfort. You must realize that this box isn’t your problem. Do yourself a favor by dealing with these toxic relationships quickly and efficiently, and moving on. In fact, that might be the very thing that makes them realize the right thing to do so they can get on with their own lives. Doing the right thing and refusing to accept other peoples’ problems is often the best living testimony we can provide to the world.

 Yes, the journey to purpose can be a lonely one at times. There are journey’s we must take alone and things we must discover on our own. The good news is that we are never really alone. The Lord is always right there with us, to ensure that we stay on the right path. He will always do His part as long as we do our part by following the prompting of the Spirit, but sometimes what is right isn’t what looks or seems right. That’s why it’s so important to be internally motivated. These promptings are usually very personal, and we have to be able to stand up to scrutiny, discouragement, and sometimes even attack to see the victory. But as I’ve said so many times before, the reward is well worth it. There’s nothing better than realizing you are uniquely and wonderfully made, and being content with who you are. 
 
Next Time: Contentment – The Secret to Joy.

Hi everybody, Sherri is taking it easy today, so I thought I'd drop by. My name is Kirsten Chalmers, from Blurry, and I'm here to set the record straight. I know there's a lot of talk about "things" between me and Danny. I think a lot of people misunderstand things - completely.

I'm not after Danny for a relationship or to "hook up." Please, just because I'm a cheerleader doesn't mean I'm shallow! Actually, I've been trying to establish a better peace between Danny and Rachel. This "truce" of theirs is barely a truce at all. In fact, it feels more like a silent war. Sure, they agreed not to talk - but do you realize what kind of situation that puts their mutual friends in? It forces us to take sides, and that's just not fair.

I tried to talk to Rachel about this all summer and got nowhere. Then she had her big 18th birthday party over Labor Day weekend. Yea, pretty much most of the senior and junior classes were invited - except Danny. That was SO majorly awkward, especially since those two were glued together all of last year! It was such a shock! When we asked and she said they came up with this "you leave me alone, I leave you alone" kind of "truce," most of us were floored. We just couldn't believe they would cut off each other that completely. Couldn't they at least act friendly? Rachel said no, that Danny shot that down and she was doing what he asked. She said she was willing to try to be friends, or at least civil, but he said no, he had his own friends and would keep to them.

So the day after the party, I saw Danny at the Pizza Parlor and decided to ask him about it myself. He said that yes, this not talking truce was his idea. He said he simply couldn't be friends with Rachel after their messy breakup. I didn't think it was that messy. It seemed like a clean break to me. They were together one day and apart the next - but whatever. He also said something about Rachel not being able to accept who he really was and his other friends, and he couldn't deal with her judging him all the time.

I get it - I really do. Rachel doesn't mean to be judgemental, but her life is black and white. She's such a good girl, and she's really smart - but she's in her own little perfect world sometimes and that can be a hard thing to break through. I know. I've been friends with her my whole life. She just can't handle the shades of grey. Heck, she can't even see them! But this whole thing between her and Danny is making things pretty tough for the rest of us, and that's not fair. It seems that they could budge, at least a little, for us. I spent all summer trying to get Rachel to do that. She claimed she tried and he wouldn't budge.Fine, so I decided to try working on him. I thought that maybe if I could get one of them to back down, then the other might be willing to establish more civil terms. Rachel seemed willing to budge if Danny would - so I'm trying to get him to do his part now.

So no, I'm not "after"  him. All I'm trying to do is make our senior year less awkward. Don't we deserve that? These are supposed to be the best days of our lives! I'm just trying help - really!

Marielle, my friend on the cheerleading squad, said to let them both go and do my own thing. She said there's no way this can get any better and in fact, it's probably going to come to the point of a break sometime soon. I know it seems it would be easier to let the whole thing go and do my own thing - but I've been friends with Rachel, Sasha, and the gang my whole life. I can't just walk away from them. I'm not going to abandon all of my friends just because one of them had a messy breakup. Heck, that could happen to any of us! I just have a bad feeling that Marielle has a point, and I'm so afraid it might come to that. I hope it doesn't. I'd hate that. I can't imagine life without Rachel, Sasha, and Natalie in it.

God, why does life have to be so complicated? Why did Danny have to get so entrenched in our lives, then screw things up with Rachel? Why couldn't Rachel give Danny more of a chance to change? Why, why, why?

I don't know, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to make things better - for myself and for all of us.

That's all for today. Take care.

Author's note: We see exactly where this went for Kirsten from the sample Prologue on the front page. What happened? Find out in Blurry!

Hi everybody, Sherri is taking it easy today, so I thought I'd drop by. My name is Kirsten Chalmers, from Blurry, and I'm here to set the record straight. I know there's a lot of talk about "things" between me and Danny. I think a lot of people misunderstand things - completely.

I'm not after Danny for a relationship or to "hook up." Please, just because I'm a cheerleader doesn't mean I'm shallow! Actually, I've been trying to establish a better peace between Danny and Rachel. This "truce" of theirs is barely a truce at all. In fact, it feels more like a silent war. Sure, they agreed not to talk - but do you realize what kind of situation that puts their mutual friends in? It forces us to take sides, and that's just not fair.

I tried to talk to Rachel about this all summer and got nowhere. Then she had her big 18th birthday party over Labor Day weekend. Yea, pretty much most of the senior and junior classes were invited - except Danny. That was SO majorly awkward, especially since those two were glued together all of last year! It was such a shock! When we asked and she said they came up with this "you leave me alone, I leave you alone" kind of "truce," most of us were floored. We just couldn't believe they would cut off each other that completely. Couldn't they at least act friendly? Rachel said no, that Danny shot that down and she was doing what he asked. She said she was willing to try to be friends, or at least civil, but he said no, he had his own friends and would keep to them.

So the day after the party, I saw Danny at the Pizza Parlor and decided to ask him about it myself. He said that yes, this not talking truce was his idea. He said he simply couldn't be friends with Rachel after their messy breakup. I didn't think it was that messy. It seemed like a clean break to me. They were together one day and apart the next - but whatever. He also said something about Rachel not being able to accept who he really was and his other friends, and he couldn't deal with her judging him all the time.

I get it - I really do. Rachel doesn't mean to be judgemental, but her life is black and white. She's such a good girl, and she's really smart - but she's in her own little perfect world sometimes and that can be a hard thing to break through. I know. I've been friends with her my whole life. She just can't handle the shades of grey. Heck, she can't even see them! But this whole thing between her and Danny is making things pretty tough for the rest of us, and that's not fair. It seems that they could budge, at least a little, for us. I spent all summer trying to get Rachel to do that. She claimed she tried and he wouldn't budge.Fine, so I decided to try working on him. I thought that maybe if I could get one of them to back down, then the other might be willing to establish more civil terms. Rachel seemed willing to budge if Danny would - so I'm trying to get him to do his part now.

So no, I'm not "after"  him. All I'm trying to do is make our senior year less awkward. Don't we deserve that? These are supposed to be the best days of our lives! I'm just trying help - really!

Marielle, my friend on the cheerleading squad, said to let them both go and do my own thing. She said there's no way this can get any better and in fact, it's probably going to come to the point of a break sometime soon. I know it seems it would be easier to let the whole thing go and do my own thing - but I've been friends with Rachel, Sasha, and the gang my whole life. I can't just walk away from them. I'm not going to abandon all of my friends just because one of them had a messy breakup. Heck, that could happen to any of us! I just have a bad feeling that Marielle has a point, and I'm so afraid it might come to that. I hope it doesn't. I'd hate that. I can't imagine life without Rachel, Sasha, and Natalie in it.

God, why does life have to be so complicated? Why did Danny have to get so entrenched in our lives, then screw things up with Rachel? Why couldn't Rachel give Danny more of a chance to change? Why, why, why?

I don't know, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to make things better - for myself and for all of us.

That's all for today. Take care.

Author's note: We see exactly where this went for Kirsten from the sample Prologue on the front page. What happened? Find out in Blurry!

Hi everybody, Sherri has decided to yield to the call of her recliner, so I'm stepping in to keep her blog from getting hopelessly outdated. My name is Sasha Miles, from Blurry. I'm Rachel Shull's best friend - in fact, I've got to type fast, cause we're fixing to head to the football game. Thank God the weather is cooling off. These band uniforms are brutally hot in August and September!

I've got bigger problems than hot band uniforms, though. The problem? Our friend Kirsten is after Rachel's ex. Oh, Rachel thinks that Kirsten has no romantic interest in Danny and that she's just trying to remain civil for the sake of civility since Danny is hanging around some of those atheletes because of their fast cars - yea right. I have to tell you, Rachel is sweet - and that's her problem. She thinks everybody else is too. She just can't fathom that her best friend might be after her ex. She suspects something's up that isn't above board, but she's just too good to realize it. She thinks that the "guy code" of staying away from your friend's ex's apply to girls too. Well, it doesn't. There's no such thing as a "girl code." The heart wants what the heart wants and will go after it - no matter how many knives you stick in how many backs.

That probably doesn't make a bit of sense, but this will - I saw Kirsten getting pretty cozy with Danny outside the Pizza Parlor after band practice yesterday. Thank God that the band director has an officer's meeting after practice yesterday in preparation for tomorrow's competition, or Rachel would have walked right in the middle of it with me(she's Band Captain). I can't tell you how much luck was at work last night.

Danny and Kirsten played cool, but she called me later and said that yes, she does want to see if this leads to more and wouldn't be disappointed if it did. I talked her into using more discresion while she and Danny "explore their feelings for one another" (oh PLEASE!) and that she would have to be the one to tell Rachel if they did start dating. And I'm going to have to do a hell of a job playing dumb, because I can't get caught in the middle of this. I just can't handle it. There's already been too much drama between Rachel and Danny since they broke up. Yes, they agreed to ignore one another from now on, but people keep talking to try to stir things up and it makes it tough. The whole gang feels like they're in the middle of a silent war. And now Kirsten decides to go off on her own and do the dumbest thing possible. I just don't get it.

Maybe this will fall apart and lead to nothing. Maybe Kirsten will see the same flaws that drove Rachel away from Danny and I'm worrying for nothing. God, I hope so! I mean, what's he thinking? How can this possibly lead to anything good?

That's the problem. I don't think she is thinking.

Well, it's time to head to the statium so I better head out. Thanks for listening to me vent. I hope this is nothing. Man, I hope it is.

Bye!

Author's note: Would Kirsten date Rachel's ex-boyfriend? Find out in Blurry!

Somebody recently came by my office to read a letter they received protesting a clause in a law that states that only licensed funeral directors can sell caskets. The protest letter stated several reasons why the law is archaic and outdated and closed by stating “I don’t know why a person has to have an education and two years of experience to sell a box.”
                 
“So, what do you think?” they asked. 
                 
“Well,”I replied, “when you put it that way, it does sound stupid.”

                 
I know that closing statement was meant to make the point in a simple and logical manner, but I believe they oversimplified the case. Yes, it did sound stupid –but when I was given the larger context of the comment, it seemed to me that they were oversimplifying the entire case. It made me wonder if there weren’t huge issues being glossed over in an attempt to be witty. 
                  
I wonder how often this happens. Sometimes, people say things trying to make things sound simple, but they don’t realize how much they leave out in their efforts to simplify. 
                 
Do you know another time when I believe this happens? It’s when people say “you need to have a personal relationship with Christ. “ I don’t know how you feel about that statement, but for years, my response was “how the heck are  you supposed to do that?” Even though I do better understand the meaning of this statement, it still strikes me in the same way as the “education and experience to sell a box” scenario. It skips the entire process and takes you straight to the end result. It’s like telling somebody to meet you somewhere out of town,
and refusing to give them a map. People need direction to make the journey. It’s great to know where you’re heading, but it’s useless if you don’t know the way. It gives you the end result with no hint or clue of where to find the train that leads to that destination.
                 
As Christians, we all know that Christ is the foundation of our lives. We are supposed to build everything on our faith in Him. This means that we totally let go and allow Him to lead and guide our lives. So, how do you do this? In my experience, it’s been a two step process. 
                 
First, you have to acknowledge that you really aren’t in control of your life. People are control freaks, and we want to believe that life is totally in our hands. The problem is, it really isn’t. Control is an illusion. The truth is
that God is really in control, and He will keep bringing things into your life to remind you of that fact until you finally accept that you’re riding in a sailboat on His ocean, and the only thing you really can do is adjust your
sails. And heck, you don’t even own the boat. He’s loaning that to you to make the journey that He laid before you. You can make your plans and that’s ok – it’s even advisable– but remain flexible and aware that tomorrow may bring an unexpected detour. 
                 
Second, you must have an active prayer life. Yes, God does know everything, but it helps us to pray because in talking to Him, we’re able to open our eyes to our own cares and concerns. Talking to God not only brings
comfort, but it helps us to know ourselves, and to see what is really on our hearts. Christ died so we could communicate directly with God in prayer, and that privilege is our lifeline to Heaven. It’s how we get Divine knowledge about how to lead our Earthly lives. How does this happen? It happens because it opens the lines of communication with our Creator, and it gives the Holy Spirit – you know, that little voice that most people call “intuition” – a place to speak in your heart. Through prayer, God gives us insight to our lives and situations  that we wouldn’t have on our own, and allows us to discern truth in times when it would be impossible by natural, worldly means. It isn’t magic by any means. Rather, it’s a heightened awareness of truth, and the only way to get it and keep it is through prayer. 
                 
This is how a personal relationship with Christ develops. It happens over time, as we stretch our faith muscles and tune in to the Holy Spirit working in and through us. It develops just like any other friendship develops, with time, dedication and effort. 
                 
Developing this personal relationship with Christ does have a lot in common with natural friendships. You will find over time that He speaks to you in ways that are unique to your personality. For example, I hear from Him
through thoughts and ideas that I know are of the Spirit. One person I talked to said they don’t hear it that way, but rather they see Him through how their thoughts or emotions change or shift on certain areas that they’re praying about. I’ve heard others say they hear from the Spirit by seeing changes in attitudes or situations they’re facing. He speaks to everybody differently because He speaks in ways that each individual understands best. 
                  
I know this isn’t a full explanation of what having a personal relationship with Christ means. I wonder if such a thing exists, because there is no one process for doing this. The journey is as unique as we are, and it wholly depends on who we are and how we communicate with our Creator. I just hope that these two first steps that I took to begin my own journey help you to see the starting point for your own. As you proceed in prayer, I believe you’ll find a better guide for the rest of the journey through the Holy Spirit.
                 
Now as for the education and experience to sell a box – sorry, I can’t help with that! 
                 
Next Week: The devil – no friend of  ours!

Who are you? I think that’s one of the hardest questions we face, and the reason is that the answer is always in motion. Every experience we have, every role that we play, every life lesson that we face, all contribute to who we are. Identity is something that is always in motion because as life changes, we change with it. Our capacity to grow and learn is what makes us able to adapt to the world around us and to evolve, both as a society and as individuals. Unfortunately, this capacity also means that we must constantly reconcile ourselves to the world we live in – and frankly, that can be exhausting. 
                 
The good news is that there are some constants in this ever changing world. The situations we face and the roles we play do impact who we are, but the core of our being – our soul – doesn’t change. Each and every one of us was uniquely and wonderfully made to serve purpose in life. Notice that I keep this general for a reason. While we may have one overriding purpose that’s our “main mission” in life, I believe that each season of life has a purpose within that mission. You may be a child, spouse, parent, colleague, and friend. Each of  these roles are separate with their own unique purpose, but all of those roles contribute to how you are as a whole human being. If any of you were to walk into my church or workplace, I would expect that you’d be able to say “yes, that’s Sherri the Writer” because you know the core of who I am through my writing and can see it in other roles I serve. 

I know this is confusing, and we could ponder on that particular point for a long time. Suffice it to say that for the purposes of this entry, I am addressing that “core self,” which is who you are as a unique human being. It’s
your soul. Believe it or not, there are a lot of people that don’t dig deep enough within themselves to know who they are at this level. Maybe it’s because it’s too exhausting, or confusing, or maybe they found something that frightened them, but for whatever reason many people abandon that search for authenticity and simply conform to what the world wants them to be in each role in life. While this may work on the surface (and is certainly good enough for day to day life), in reality it means that you never really connect with the people around you or the world you live in. After all, how can other people know you if you don’t know yourself? And how are they supposed to trust what they don’t know? So they go through the motions of life as a shell of a person, never fully experiencing life or the joy that we’re supposed to have in being who we are and serving the scared missions set before us. In fact, the sacred is removed, turning it all into drudgery and labor. 
                 
Folks, this isn’t the way we’re meant to live. Yes, it can be frightening to delve within ourselves to search for our authenticity. You might find things you don’t expect; things in direct contradiction to what you want to believe about yourself. Or you might find something socially unacceptable or embarrassing. It’s ok. You have the power of the Holy Spirit working within you, and It can show you how these things fit into who you are as the unique creation you are meant to be. It can show you what you have for a reason and what you could stand to fix here or tweak there. None of us are perfect, but the perfection of the Spirit can show you how to use what you’ve got to be who you are and to contribute to your place in the world. 
                 
The key to happiness isn’t fame, or wealth, or status. It’s finding contentment with who you are as a unique individual. That’s the only way you can find your purpose. That’s the only way to form genuine relationships with a solid foundation. That’s the only way that happiness will come. 
                 
So, how do you find your authentic self? It’s best to start at the beginning – and that is the foundation of it all. 
                 
Next Time: Jesus – My Savior, My Friend.

I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things. I can believe that science fiction could be showing us a possible future, no matter how far fetched or unrealistic it may seem. After all, never say never. We thought the 21st century would look like The Jetsons and, well, it's turned out quite differently.

I can believe that fantasy is showing us possible alternate realities. Sure, I know there's no such thing, but I can suspend my disbelief to consider that these are possible ways the world could have been.

I can even suspend my disbelief for urban fantasy. I know it's unlikely that quirks in reality would result in superheros or creatures walking the world as we know it, but I can consider "what if."

What I can't suspend my disbelief for, however, is romance. I thought this was a personal taste issue, but after giving two romances a chance this summer - no. That's just too far out there.

First, let me open my arguement by giving you two facts that are surly coloring my perception: First, I've been married for over 13 years, so I know the reality of relationships. That dopamine rush that takes you to the altar eventually leads to home, family, in-laws, job stress, financial strains, good days, bad days, joy and tears, and a partridge in a pear tree - if you're lucky. Second, I've always had a lot of men in my life. To say there's been a heavy male influence on the way I was raised and continue to live would be an understatement. So please bear these in mind as I make my arguement.

For the sake of preserving dignity, I won't say what I read or who wrote them because they might have fans out there that devoured them and think it's the best thing since chocolate. I'll be fair. I will say this, though: Both stories had several elements in common that I just couldn't seem to get past. They were way out of left field. For example:
1. Men don't instantly fall in love after one encounter. Sorry ladies, it doesn't happen that way.
2. Men don't propose a week after meeting the lady of their dreams. In the best case scenario, it will take longer and completely freak them out to the point that they withdraw for a while before deciding to commit.
3. Men aren't the ones that are talking about having children on date #2. Sorry ladies - again, that doesn't happen in real life. Barring "surprises," this consideration usually comes at least a year or two after marriage, which in itself takes a year or two to come about.
4. Men aren't emotional and they don't like having "heart to heart" talks. My own husband has confirmed this. So has my brother, my father, and while they were alive both grandfathers. Sure they may feel it (they aren't robots), but the likelihood of them talking about it willingly and openly is roughly equivalent to aliens landing in my driveway right now.
5. In both stories, it was the woman that was long single and fearing committment. Really? They fell in bed quick enough for somebody not looking for love. Now I'm not saying there aren't women that are afraid of commitment. I'm just saying the stereotype exist for a reason. It's more likely that the woman is the one wanting an exclusive relationship before the man. See point #2 above.
6. Vampires and werewolves - really? Ok, I'll be a sport. They may be prowling the night, but they aren't looking for love. They're looking for a quick and tasty meal.

Before you say that I must have just gotten a  hold of some bad examples, I did try romance while I was in college and found myself having the same problems with the same issues I saw in those novels. Well, with the exception of the vampires and werewolves. That wasn't popular back in the mid 90's.

So go ahead and call me an improper lady if you must but I'm sorry. I'm more likely to believe that Frodo Baggins destroyed the ring of power, the Jedi order is rebuilding somewhere out there, dragons are hiding under the Smoky Mountains, Superman will save the day, Batman is on a rooftop downtown, and Thor is beating someone down every time I hear thunder than I am to take any bit of the two things I recently read seriously. Sorry.

That's all the fun I have for today. Here's hoping you're off to a great start to the new week.

Bye!