Well, as irony would have it; it seems Rick's illness had a viral component that brought it out and I caught it yesterday. After a weekend with both of us sick, I realized that there are two rules for dealing with someone who's sick:

1. Never try to force feed them, especially if it has a gastrointestinal base. Believe me, whatever you fear might happen from not eating will be nothing compared to what will happen if you force them to eat; and

2. Don't pepper them with a million questions. People in general are too addicted to asking questions. Please please please - limit the questions as much as possible. You'd be surprised at how much you can discover for yourself if you put your brain on things for 5 minutes. In fact, this is a good overall rule even when everybody is perfectly healthy.

That being said, I will warn you that there is a virus going around and it's absolutely VICIOUS. Neither of us has been this sick in a very long time. We're healing, albeit slowly. This is definitely one that we (and our septic system) will remember for a long time.

Take care all, and take precautions. I know it's winter and illness is lurking but the proper precautions can save your grief. Wash hands, clean up, flu shots, and etc.

More later. Bye!

Welcome to my latest "mini blog series" on surviving the holidays! In these weeks leading up to the holidays I'm going to offer my experiences, insights, and observations on getting through the holidays without losing your sanity. I'd like to open this series with a list of do's and don'ts - basically, simple tips that will help you get through this season with less stress and more time and resources to enjoy what the holidays are all about.

DO keep a schedule with you at all times, as this is a season filled with cordial invitations to events of all sorts - and those invitations can come at any place, at any time. It's never safe to be without a calendar this time of year. If you don't have a mobile device, get a small calendar that you can carry in a purse, briefcase, or pocket.

DON'T be afraid to decline an invitation. It simply isn't possible to do everything - there's too much going on. There is a polite way to decline an invitation. Simply say "I appreciate you thinking of me and offering this invitation, but I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to attend." You don't owe anybody a doctoral dissertation on your calendar. It's perfectly ok to say "no" just because you need time to do other things, or for yourself.

DO go ahead and make travel plans and arrangements now. Waiting until the last minute is stressful to you and rude to the hosts. It takes a lot of "doing" to hosts guests in your home, so be considerate and let them know arrival and departure dates and relative times now so they can plan for your visit accordingly.

DO make shopping lists. In this season of buy, buy, buy, it's easy to lose track of how much you've bought. Do like Santa - make a list and check it twice.

DO check your resources to avoid needless spending or duplicating resources. I was fixing to buy more wrapping paper this past weekend - until I checked my supplies and discovered 10 rolls of paper from last year. People won't remember what wrapping paper, gift tags, bows, boxes or gift bags you used last year and truth  be told, you probably didn't remember until you pulled it out of storage.

DON'T be afraid to ask someone on your gift list what they want if you're completely stumped on what to give them. We usually buy gifts for the same people year after year, so after a while it's hard to be original. Don't try. Just ask.

DO ask the people on your gift list if they're ok with receiving gift cards for presents. People seem to have strong opinions on this. I love them, as do most of my family members, but I've had some friends that believe giving gift cards is wildly offensive and insensitive. I actually plan to do an entry just on this topic soon.

DO regift if you got something in the past that hasn't been opened or used, but be careful and DON'T regift it to the person that gave it to you. In fact, if you get something that winds out in the "strorage" drawer or closet, it would be wise to put a note on it indicating who gave it to you to prevent such an embarassing error.

DO observe important traditions, but DON'T feel obligated to hand on to ones that don't mean much to you - or others. Things tend to pass in time. People get married, people have babies, people die. Some things stay and some things go, and that's ok. Keep what means the most and let go of what doesn't.

DO take care of yourself and mind your health - mentally and physically. Be sure to take time out for yourself, excercise, eat right, and get enough sleep. It's easy to skimp on self care during this busy season.

DON'T go off your medications now. I'm not being a smart alec. Money is typically tight this time of year, and often people decide to skip the medication refills to save a few bucks. Don't do it. Your doctor put you on your medication for a reason, and you feel better because of it. If you go off now, you will suffer. This is no area to skimp on ever. It's for your better health. You have enough on you without having to battle your body as well - and you will if you go off your medication. So don't do it. And if, by chance, you do feel it's ok to do so, I urge you to do two things: Do it under doctor's supervision, and strongly consider waiting until January and making this a New Year's Resolution instead.

DO realize that there's no such thing as a perfect holiday. As much as we'd all like our holiday to look like a Norman Rockwell painting, realize that's art, not reality. We live in an imperfect world and it shows that every day, in every way. It's extremely rare for things to go as we planned, and they never go perfectly, People get sick, cars break down, things get sold out, casseroles burn, wrapping paper tears, turkeys don't cook right, gift bags bust, the milk goes sour, people fight, shipments get delayed, bad weather hits, somebody moves and the Christmas card is returned on December 26 leading to misunderstanding and hurt feelings - the list can go on and on.

So there you have it - a few simple, common sense list of suggestions to get through the holidays. I believe that's a good place to end this entry, as well as a perfect lead in for the next entry in this series.

Next Time: Can't We All Just Get Along - It's The Holidays! (or, Reality 101)

Rick and I visited a friend from church yesterday that's in a nursing home. She has cancer. It's spread from her lungs to her brain, and the prognosis isn't good - in fact, her life expectancy is in terms of weeks. This is the third person I've known to have cancer in the past couple of years, and honestly I hope it's the last. It's so hard to get inside peoples' suffering like that - not only theirs, but their families and friends as well. It's tough on everybody.

If there's one thing that I've learned through seeing three people fight this battle, it's that you have to enjoy life. It's not just the big things, like health, family, home and relationships either. It's also the small things. Like weekends, good books, free time, going to the movies, a good song on the radio, purple nail polish, and red roses. Very often, it's the small things that really bring joy. You have to learn to find that joy and to embrace it.

It just makes me sick to see so many people walking around, taking things for granted. If they saw what we saw last night, and considered that this could be the fate of so many of us, I'd think they would slow down long enough to quit griping about all that's wrong and appreciating all that's right. This world is screwed up, but  God's still in it, and there's plenty of blessings to enjoy.

I often lament my busy lifestyle, but I'm wise enough to see that it's the result of great blessings, and they are blessings that I am thankful for all the time.

Yes, there are plenty of problems. Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Turning on the TV or logging on the Internet can tell you that. So many people have that 20/20 vision for problems, but they don't have that kind of clarity to see what's right. And that's why there's so much depression and violence in our society. We're too fixated on what's wrong. We need to change that focus and see what's right. There are so many blessings right under our noses.

If you got up this morning and felt good enough to get out of bed and do 1 thing, you're blessed. If you had breaksfast, that's 2 blessings. Start counting your blessings there.

Maybe if we switched our focus from the bad to the good, we'd find a new perspective. Maybe we'd find solutions to some of these problems. Maybe we'd find that some things we see as problems aren't really problems at all. I would love to challenge people to trade in their griping for gratitude for just an hour.

It's something to think about. And with that, I will be off. I hope the rest of your weekend goes well.

Bye!

Hi all; I hope you're doing well and having a great week. I tried, I really did, but it just hasn't worked out so far.

The foot is healing, for which I am extremely grateful. I haven't been brave enough to get back on the treadmill yet. Maybe in another couple of days. Today is the first day I've gone the whole day without pain.

The rest of life, however, has been one for the "what the hell?" files (although that's not what we really call it but hey! I'm trying to maintain some sort of decency!). Work has been one thorny issue after another, all week long. I untangle one mess and here comes another. There must be some evil imp ravaging my cubicle. I think I beat most of it into submission today. *Hopefully,* and I say that in the "if the Lord wills and creeks don't rise" sense, I did manage to get things flowing properly, balls in other courts, and I made my final visit to the State House for a committee meeting for this session today. *Hopefully* As things have shown a tendency to unravel - or worse, to pull a phoenix and rise from the ashes - I'm not counting it done yet.

Then yesterday we got word that a friend at church lost her battle with pancreatic cancer yesterday. Don't worry, I'm not going to put you through those musings again. We went through this - oh wait! Exactly a year ago today, when a friend at my former workplace died of THE VERY SAME THING!! There's much I don't understand and this scary timing is one more thing on the heap. But I suppose faith is about accepting that you don't have the answers and being ok with the questions. Or something like that.

I'm trying to find out how things keep getting past me. I don't know stuff that I usually find out without even trying. For example: Did you know the new Transformer's movie is coming out on July 1st? I knew they were making one but had no idea it was done. I also didn't know that they moved a new deposit machine just up the hall from my cubicle, that several files I've been looking for are in the cabinet right next to my desk, that you can get Microsoft Office for iPads, that the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out last weekend, that "True Grit" was a remake, that they were thinking about extending the legislative session, or that there's an old wives tale about more people dying in the spring because of something with the sap in the trees (another one for the "what the...? files). I think I've been working too hard and too much. Yes, I've had problems with my mind wandering lately, but this is ridiculous. I definitely need to take a break this weekend. No writing, chores, errands, visiting, volunteering, or anything.

So here I sit with all these questions and more. Like why does my parakeet sing like a canary? Why does my computer smell like my perfume (that never gets near this machine)? How did Zack chew curtains that are nowhere near his cage? Why did Chloe growl at me when I got home? What is going on with this crazy, hot weather? And many, many more.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is life in the rabbit hole! Hmm. I sense inspiration for short stories in my future. Life like this is the catalyst for it.

Well, my brain is fried so it's time to go. I hope you have a Happy Friday tomorrow. Heck, I hope I have a Happy Friday tomorrow either. It's been a challenging week, but I'm not giving up on having at least one good day in it.

Bye!

I was talking to a friend a while back who sheepishly admitted that their doctor put them on an antidepressant. This friend was very unhappy to be on medication and said they wanted off the pills ASAP.

I countered by asking this friend if they thought it was bad for me to take antihistimines everyday to manage my allergy and sinus problems.

"No, why would that be a problem?" they asked. "After all, you have to take it to be able to function every day.It's a maintenance medication"

"Well, how is that different from you taking an antidepressant?" I asked. "If it helps you feel more energetic and you're able to go about your daily tasks easier, what's the difference?"

They never thought of it that way. And in my experience, it seems most people don't.

I don't understand why we're so hesitant to take care of our mind. We don't mind popping an aspirin for a headache, or taking antacids for heartburn. We'll mention an ache or pain to a doctor in a minute. But if it's our emotions that hurt, well, that's different. That's personal. That's nobody's business.

Well, my allergies aren't anybody's business, but I'm not ashamed of them. I don't advertise this health issue, but I don't hide it either. And while I understand that an anxiety attack and sniffling and sneezing are perceived differently by the general public, well, relief is available. Shouldn't we take advantage of it?

I think that as a whole, society has come a long way in understanding mental illness, but they still have a long way to go. One thing we can do to progress this effort is to be honest with ourselves. If you've lacked motivation for six months or more and getting out of bed every day is a challenge, treat it like the flu and see your doctor. Relief is available.

There may not be a cure for many of the emotional disorders that plague us, but they can be managed. And with the right treatment, you can have a good and productive life, just like you deserve.

You don't life in bondage to your physical ailments - you manage them. don't live in bondage to your emotions or your mind either. Don't be shy. Don't be embarassed. Don't let it define you. Manage it, so you define yourself in spite of it.

Stress levels have been at an all time high at my work, as we've spent the past month going through a major internal reorganization. There's a lot of anxiety and confusion on the redistrubution of duties and responsibilities. Yes indeed, a lot of nail biting is going on. 

Only thing is, I'm so used to this that I barely feel it. Every job I've ever been at has gone through some sort of a major internal change within my first three years there. To me, this is almost normal. I can't count the number of times I've been moved, shifted, and re-trained for my job. My father-in-law once told me that nothing changed in his job in his entire 20+ year career. I laughed, having lost track of the changes by the time I had been in my job 7 years. 

I think that harkens to a very important change that's taken place in our society. I recently read that the level of stress we currently consider "normal" would have been considered "acute" 50 years ago. I can see why. Advances in technology have sped the world up to the speed of light, and we've become accustomed to a lifestyle that would have left our forebearer's breathless just to hear about! Needless to say, in this fast paced, time crunched society, "slow and easy" are not terms used to describe the modern lifestyle of most. Well, at least most people that aren't retired, according to what I hear. ;) But that's another blog post. 

The question is; how do we deal with these increasing levels of stress? We all know the problems it can cause with our health, but it seems to me that most people don't know how to combat it. There are many ways, and I'd like to explore some of them in the next few entries. I'll start this series by telling my first secret, which is having a hobby. I believe it's very important to have something that is wholly and completely your own for no other purpose than to bring you personal happiness and satisfaction in life. Something the rest of the world can't touch. Something that serves no purpose than to bring you joy. 

We all need at least one hobby. I believe it's important to our emotional well being. If your life is too busy to carve out a few minutes of your own during the day, then there is a serious need to sit down and set some priorities in your life. You MUST take care of yourself. Otherwise, you're going to break down (physically or emotionally), and then you'll be no good to anyone. So if you want to be the most productive and helpful to others, then you need to take some time out for yourself. 

My writing is my hobby. This is my place to create my own worlds, to decompress, and to work out issues and concerns in my life in a context that I'm comfortable with. It gives me a place to handle things my way, and to work things out through alternate realities. It helps me to reconcile the rabbit hole of my life, so to speak. 

So what's your hobby? This is the topic of my latest forum post. If you don't have one, I believe now would be a good time to consider what you could do to carve out some time and space of your own in the world.