For starters, my Dad is in the hospital again. He's battling lung cancer. The diagnosis came in late May, and he's been in and out of the hospital with complications from that and chemotherapy ever since. We've been working on getting him into hospice for about a week, and now they're saying he can do too much for himself so that's out, and we need to look into nursing care. I swear, I don't even know what to think. Not only am I upset about what's happening to him, but the story from the hospital keeps changing to the point that it's easier to keep up with the lineup of the band Mushroomhead than what's happening downtown! I thought my father-in-law's battle with dementia six years ago was bad, but this is just as tough. I don't think there's a graceful way to take these situations. You just do your best, and some days are better than others. Actually, no days are great right now. And COVID-19 doesn't help. Barring visitors is a boon for them, but a bust for the families that have to put up with an ever-changing rotation of staff and care people to talk to, all of whom have different stories. Want a meeting or visit? Forget that. COVID-19, baby. You can do whatever you want, but you can't do it here.
By the way, if this is the first time you're hearing this about Dad and you're wondering "wait, did I miss something?" the answer is probably not. My family is very anti-Facebook, and have specifically asked me NOT to mention him or his health condition there. I just got them to begrudgingly release something through the church because I was getting asked a lot of questions, and retelling the story over and over is exhausting. Things are happening quickly and the news changes all the time, but radio silence for months isn't good or fair to others. Friends do need to know what's going on. We can't keep up with constant updates, but anything is better than nothing.
Then our home Internet went out last week. That was a major disruption and drama that we didn't need. It was finally back up on Friday, after four days of phone calls and AT&T sending a technician from a city two hours away to fix the problem, which was a wire knocked loose in the box across the street. We are not happy with AT&T and how the situation was handled. They were very sorry for our problems, but not sorry enough to do anything about it until they were good and ready. Let's just say they've stirred up an ugly case of karma, and I absolutely DON'T envy that. Why people have to make simple things complicated - and be so stubborn - is beyond me.
And work is busy. Of course, the day job is alive and kicking. I have awesome and understanding coworkers who have been a wonderful help and support through everything going on. Thank goodness we're still working from home, though. I'm kind of glad the office isn't bearing witness to the chaos that is my life right now.
Needless to say, life is stripped down to the bare essentials right now. Writing for The Sentience Series is on hold temporarily. I've written halfway through Revenant (Book 3), and do have a general plan for the remainder of that and Visage (Book 4). In fact, the ending of the series is already written, so I know where it's going - I just have to get there. It will get written. That much I am certain of. I'm still planning to keep up with my articles for The Roost and keep this blog updated, but I do need some time and space to work out the details of the remainder of The Sentience Series. That's the good thing about being an indie author. I'm not tied down to contracts that force me to churn out writing if life gets in the way, so I can take breaks when and where I need them. There's no point in working on Sentience right now if I churn out crap that has to be completely rewritten later. It's best to hit the "pause" button and come back to it with clear vision.
My vision definitely isn't clear right now. The important thing is to know where I can work around that, and where I can't. Right now, I can work around it in every area but writing that book series, because I have people to keep me accountable and "in line" everywhere else. It's best to be honest about it.
These things happen to us all. Of course I'm upset about what's happening to Dad, but the truth is that everybody goes through times like these in life. It happens to us all. I'll get out of this season, and somebody else will get hit by this train. That's life as imperfect people living in an imperfect world. The good news is that I'm old and experienced enough to know that this too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone - as seems to be the case - but it will pass.
Thanks to all of you for being wonderful, compassionate, supportive friends. I'll find a way. My survival rate for these seasons in life is 100% so far, and I intend to keep it that way.
That's all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the week.