That was all lies.
It's been a disappointing week. I'd like to think that people want to do better, but honestly, years of experience have shown me that people are quick to complacency and accepting mediocrity. They talk a good game about meaning better, but I have to wonder about their sincerity when they refuse to put their brain on things for five minutes, when they won't get up and do something, and when they'd rather make excuses than effort. Words mean nothing if you don't follow them up with action to make them true - we've talked about that before. It makes all that talk I heard about self discipline and internal motivation seem like so much hot air.
Today, I understand what God meant in the Old Testament when He said that He doesn't delight in sacrifices, but in a right heart and sincere actions. I can't believe that people still don't get that I'm not the type to be bribed or cajoled with fancy words and a sad enough look on your face. Intentions mean nothing. I don't want your treats or goodies. I want you to do what you're supposed to be doing to the best of your ability. All the gifts and flattery in the world mean nothing if I can't count on you to follow up, or to give things your best.
If you've accepted a responsibility, then fulfill it. To not do so for any reason within your control is faithless, and I see a lot of people that are too eager to throw in the towel, quit, and talk about how tough life is. Of course life is tough, and I'm sick of people getting jealous of me because I live my personal conviction to keep going when things get sticky or tough and see things through. If you don't have the motivation to keep going and stay the course when it gets tough, you have no right to get jealous of others that are willing to do the hard work. Your failure or stagnation is nobody's fault but your own - and the people you're jealous of and whisper about behind their backs know this.
I said in my last entry that I'm trying to live better, and to have a better attitude. The problem seems to be that I'm the only one that made that resolve, and frankly I'm tired of fending off wrong, bad attitudes and laziness. I don't want or need negativity, and I certainly don't need these lies about meaning well but not being able to do it. Tell the truth on this, at least. You don't want to do better. The excuses are comfortable and you're content with them.
I'm well aware of human nature. People are going to be themselves, and nothing short of the hand of God can inspire a paradigm shift. But when people aren't responding to you, then you have to accept your part of the responsibility and change how (or if) you interact with them. I've already done some confronting and letting go of things I just couldn't allow in my life anymore, but it seems that wasn't enough. Then again, I thought people knew and understood me better, but I was obviously wrong and need to make some adjustments.
It seems the answer is at a higher level, and I have some prayer and meditation to do.