You’re protesting by conforming and in doing so, you’re promoting an underlying theme of remaining a victim. This isn’t a good message to send to the public!
I’m not saying that these predators should get away with what they’ve done – if indeed they actually did it. In my usual fashion of pointing out the pink elephant in the room, I’ve personally known women directly and through a degree or two of separation who used false accusations of abuse for personal gain. Usually it’s money, but there was a time or two when they were looking for promotions, or to get into or out of things. There’s a special place in hell for people who do this. Use your brain, not deceit. And ladies, a woman working isn’t the worst thing in the world. I’ve been in the work force for 20 years, and I’m still standing. I think it’s far worse to need a job and not have one than to (gasp!) get a job, or work your way up to a promotion honestly. The world works on a basis of exchange for services. You get a paycheck for utilizing your time, talent, education, knowledge and ability for a certain number of hours with a certain company. Scheming, lying, and being “a piece of work” (as the older generation calls it) undermines this. What goes around, comes around. The guy I know who got fired for false allegations actually got a better job, and she’s stuck in the same old craphole, and still making accusations. In fact, all the women I know who used these weapon are just as bad or in worse situations. That flushing sound you just heard are their reputations and potential going down the toilet. You can’t quit being a victim if you keep playing one every day of your life.
Honest work is good. It gives you purpose and keeps you connected to the world.
Now that’s out of the way. Let’s move on to properly protesting when the allegations are true, and my kvetch about promoting the concept of remaining a victim.
My first question is why now? Most of these allegations are decades old, because they accepted it as “they way it is,” and didn’t want to ruin their career. They point to other women who stood up for themselves and had their careers stalled because of it. What did you gain by being silent for so long? You could have helped the women who stood up right away by supporting them, but instead you stayed silent, accepted the norm, further victimized them through your acceptance, and waited until “everybody was doing it” to speak up. You accepted being a victim silently, and now you’re making excuses for why. What’s wrong with you? You don’t get stronger unless you act immediately to get your crap together. Own that crap, admit that you made a mistake by waiting for it to be socially acceptable to speak up instead of doing it immediately like you should have, and we can all move on from this circus faster. Yes, times have changed. I can’t say if they would have changed faster if these people who act so bold on the big (or small) screen would have exhibited that boldness in real life sooner. But enough of Hollywood is getting shovels out of the shed to dig up old dirt, trying to change this norm. When do we move from accusations to actual progress? What are the victims doing to make themselves better, and to make things better for others?
I don’t know, but the Golden Globes did nothing to move in that direction. Herein lies my second question. I heard that they were wearing black in protest of the problem, but when I saw the pictures of the event I thought “what the hell?” They were wearing shear, low cut, revealing dresses. In other words, they protested by conforming to current fashion standards. I think they don’t get the point of a protest: it’s about nonconformity! Go elegant to show you respect yourself. If you really want to make a ruckus, dress like you’re going to a funeral. You would have made every magazine cover in the world dressed as a mortician! They all looked like they came straight from their New Year’s Eve parties! What kind of protest was that?
Now before you say “Sherri, you’re jealous because you’re too fat to wear stuff like that,” I admit that I am too fat for that. I do work out, but I tend to build muscle, and there is still some puff in the center because I won’t relegate myself to shakes, salads, and carrot sticks because I like to eat. It’s not my style anyway, and I’m not paid to look good. I’m paid for my brain, so I focus more on building my mind and skills a writer and administrative employee. I workout and somewhat watch my diet to be healthy, but it’s not an obsession. I don’t have time to work out 6 hours a day like those starlets do. And thank goodness, because I don’t like it anyway. Real women aren’t a size 0 because we don’t have time for that. We have a real life, thanks be to God.
My point is that Hollywood is contradicting themselves. All of these allegations are promoting punishment and being a victim, and that’s not the way to a resolution. They need to show people how to overcome that to gain wisdom and become stronger people, and to shine a light on healing instead of hurt. A good case in point is Joyce Meyer. Love her or hate her, you have to admit that she’s built a good life for herself and inspired others to do likewise through her ministry. Yes, she was abused growing up, but she tells that story frequently with a focus on how she overcame abuse and hardship to build up to a better life with a bright future that helps and inspires others.
Will Hollywood do this? Likely not, because screaming about problems makes a lot more headlines than solving them, so they’ll go on about Trump, evil Republicans, why personal responsibility is stupid, and everything else they think is wrong in their fake world. In the end, it will be up to us to do the work, and that starts with turning off the stupid TV and switching our personal focus on love, hope, faith, health, healing and balance; instead of hurt and pain.
That’s all today. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.