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There Are Worse Things  Than ...

7/6/2014

 
The things that some people get hung up on amazes me. Maybe I live in a bubble, or perhaps I just don't "get it," but I don't understand why people freak out over some of the things they do. It seems to me that there are worse things in the world than the things they fear. I mean really, people, there are worse things than:

Having a full time job. When I graduated college in 1997, you were considered lowly if you didn't work. Now, between the recession and the retirement of the baby boomers, it seems the mindset has changed to "work is for stupid people." No, actually, it isn't. It's for responsible, independent people that exchange their knowledge, skills, and abilities for financial compensation. That hasn't changed just because work isn't "cool" anymore. Take it from somebody that's worked full time for sixteen and a half years - I'm living proof that work doesn't kill you, and I've built myself as an independent author on top of the full time job. Yes, folks, plus I personally know some people that work not one but two jobs. Talk about an OMG. Seriously, though, there are worse things than working - like having a pile of bills and no income. We all have better things to do than be chained to a workplace so many hours a week, but the security and independence you get from working is worth an alarm clock bleeting in your ear five days a week. Plus, you get some snazzy advantages from working. You know, stupid little things like insurance, retirement, and eligibility to take out a mortgage in your own name. 

Not taking exotic vacations every three months. I've threatened to burn my travel bags the day I retire. I'm not a fan of travel and seeing as I'm pushing 39 years old, it doesn't look likely that shipping me off to all parts unknown is going to make me love it any better. In fact, a year ago I was pretty travel weary to the point that I literally snapped from travelling cross country twice in six months, plus taking several local trips. Now I know most people don't agree with me, but really, isn't there a level of stress that goes with living out of bags and navigating a place as alien as Mars to you? Sure, it's nice to get away every now and then. But the every now and then is what keeps it special. If you jet off every 90 days, that's called a lifestyle, not "vacations," and you need to arrange the rest of your life to mesh with it timewise and financially better.

Not having high end designer stuff. I'm sure we all know some people that are really stuck on having the latest and greatest, highest end everything. What I don't get is why people want to spend their money on a name, because in many cases that's exactly what you're doing. Sure, it's nice to have some high end things, but it is possible to go overboard. In many instances nobody really notices and if they do, it's probably not in a nice, flattering way - i.e. you believe they think "oh wow, you're rich and I envy you" when in fact they think "what a showy snob." Most of us have limited finances, so why spend all of your money for show when you really can't control what other people think anyway? Invest in who you are, not what you have. Save up to splurge on what you like best, get what works, be authentic to yourself, and be proud of it. 

Who likes, friends, and drops them on social media. I don't even know how people can keep up with that, but I've seen plenty of drama over this person won't accept my friend request or that person dropped me. How rude! Seriously, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that people are going to be people, whether they do it in your face or online. Change your perspective and be thankful for the people that are still around. And if it bothers you that much, pull the plug. Computers shut off and apps can be closed, you know. Slamming the door online may not be as dramatic online as it is in person, but it's a whole lot easier to do. 

Gossip. OMG, what a waste of time, energy, and relationships. As I said above, people are gonna be people, so let them be who they are and get a hobby, for gosh sakes. Everything that flies through your head doesn't need to fly out of your mouth, and the unflattering truth is that most people don't really care what you think about this or that anyway, so why waste your time? Read an book or better yet, write one since so many people say they'd like to do it. As a writer I can tell you that if  you like stories, then creating your own characters and worlds is more interesting than reality about 99.9% of the time anyway. 

That is true. Fiction is often more amusing than reality. And with this all being said, I think I'll go revise Obsidian now. 

That's all today. Take care and have a great week.

Bye!

Quotes of the Week

5/11/2014

 
It's amazing how "words in season" come right when you need them. Last week was a doozy, no doubt, but it seemed that the words I needed to hear kept coming at just the right time. Here are some of the winners from last week that kept me encouraged and kept a light on the path before us:

1. When an egg breaks from the outside, the result is death. When it breaks from the inside, the result is life. That reminded me of a line from the song Where the Dead Ships Dwell that says "I won't let the world break me." I know that's a yin and yang comparison, but to me it's plenty relevant: your circumstances can break you, or you can break free of them. It's all a matter of perspective, and where you allow your primary influence to come from: within or without. 

2. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn. It seems this goes in seasons, and the seasons of learning are usually longer than the seasons of winning. What I really like about this, though, is that it doesn't say you lose - because you don't have to. If you can be ok with learning, then you really can't lose, because every experience adds wisdom and equips you to do better later. We can learn from every experience, whether it ends out the way we hope/expect or not. 

3. People who shine from within don't need the spotlight. And we go back to real things coming from the inside. This is a perfect time to hear this too, as May tends to be a whirlwind of celebrations, between graduations and Mother's Day. We do all have our "spotlight" moments, but true character comes when nobody's looking. Do you always need accolades and "atta-boys" to stay motivated, or do you do what's right because it's right? This is an issue I've addressed in this blog before, so there's no need to revisit it in length. 

4. Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:3-4) I like this because it basically says that it's alright to be human beings, not humans doing. Too often, we think that we have to work and fight to get ahead, and wind out stressed out and weary. But this says that if we do what we're supposed to, then He will not only keep us safe, but bring the desires He planted in our hearts to pass. Wonderful, simple words of encouragement.  

And as a bonus:

5. Once they figure a way to work a dead horse, we'll be next. Likely I'll be the first too. 'Edd,' they'll say, 'dying's no excuse for lying down no more, so get on up and take this spear, you've got the watch tonight." If you work, you know why that's funny. We all feel it sometimes, don't we? That tidbit is from A Sword of Storms, the third book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series. I thought it was hilarious and you'd appreciate it. 

Good words to ponder, I believe. I hope they've inspired you as they have me over the past week. 

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week. 

Bye!

My Lenten Journey 4 - Internal Motivation

3/26/2014

 
This week’s stop on my Lenten journey finds me pondering on the issue of internal motivation. Now folks, that doesn’t have to be a dirty word, because the truth is that we all have internal motivation. The question is, how do we apply it to how we live everyday – or do we apply it at all? Do we apply it to building a life of substance, a life of pride, or a life of leisure?

I think that the true test of character (and faith) is internal motivation. Do you still do right when there’s no reward for it? Do you do your best? Or do you take the quick and easy way out if there’s no chance of being reciprocated for your efforts?

Too often, we don’t realize that reality isn’t a tit-for-tat exchange. Why put in the time and effort if nobody knows you did it? And then, these are the types that get jealous at what they see as a “windfall of luck” that’s in reality the result of long, hard work that was ignored or unrecognized until now. We don’t get that there’s no such thing as luck. You get what you give, and it might take a long time for the exchange to occur. Mediocrity is fine if you just want to get by, but it’s never going to lift you beyond to the glory you could have. Too many people expect to shine with mediocrity and don’t realize that it’s a foundation of sand that washes away at the first sign of wind – and the wind of change is always blowing, folks. That’s a topic that I’ve covered in this blog more times than I can count. So many, that I’m sick of it, in fact. But why? Why are so few people motivated to do their very best at everything they do? Isn’t that our charge as believers? 

A lot of this goes back to impatience. We’re quick to quit because there’s no time to waste, when in fact the time will pass and we’ll get back what we invest. No investment means no return. People want what’s coming to them right now, but they don’t realize is that they’re getting just that – if you don’t patiently work and strive toward anything, then there’s nothing to get back! So they really are getting back exactly what they put in, which is absolutely nothing. No investment, no profit.

This reminds me of the story Jesus told about the prayers of the priest shouting his own praise for all to hear versus the prayers of the sinning tax collector quietly humbling himself before the Lord. If you only do things for show, then you have your reward already. It’s the seeds you sow in faith, perhaps when nobody’s looking, that really sprout a harvest.

Nobody’s going to pat you on the back for doing what you’re supposed to do. Furthermore, they may not even realize if you do go above and beyond. A lot is taken for granted in this world, and sometimes we must accept that the reward won’t come in it. Can you be OK with that? Because often, the only encouragement you’ve got is a crown in eternity and bumkus in this reality.

We as a society have become too motivated by “atta-boys” and not used to “because it’s right.” Our priorities are badly out of place, and we need to get it right if we want a life that really matters in the grand scheme of things. It may not be a glorious life, but which would you rather have: glory on Earth or glory in Eternity? It’s a choice we all make, consciously or not.

That’s all today. Take care and have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

What I Learned From Going Back to Work

1/9/2014

 
Of course, the flip side has its own lessons. There’s more to getting back to the grind than you realize! Here are a few things I’ve learned from returning to work after a holiday hiatus:

  • Zack, Chloe and Ollie either adjust to our schedules really well, or they like us going to work and leaving them in peace and quiet. I suspect they enjoy having that time during the day to take naps, eat and play without silly humans hovering over them. And they don’t seem to miss the Christmas songs on the radio, either (guess I overdid it with that one).

  • Having the flu last week had one advantage – my work clothes weren’t tight from the holiday bulge. In fact, they’re a bit loose. Now that’s a first!

  • Yes, a 2 hour shift is significant. I thought that sleeping until 8 a.m. wasn’t much of a departure from my normal 6 a.m. wake up call these past couple of weeks. It is. I’m just now recovering from my zombie state, self imposed jetlag from the past couple of weeks.

  • Home is at least 15 degrees warmer than work. I’m sure the polar vortex, the window cubicle, and shutting down the HVAC system between 6PM and 6AM doesn’t help with heat retention.

  • The little things really do count. You don’t realize how much things like that morning cup of coffee, fifteen minutes of reading time, writing on your lunch hour, a phone conversation with family and friends, playing with your parrots, watching a favorite TV show with your husband means, or wasting time and goofing off online means to you until your time is more fully engaged with the business of life.

  • Time management matters. Speaking of, it takes a special amount of coordination to keep chores and errands done when you don’t have all day to do it. You remember how to make effective use of every minute really quick!

  • Good health matters, too. Recovering from an illness is probably one of the best, most relieving feelings in the world. I’m so thankful that I finally feel better, and that I have the energy to go about my day without struggling against myself!

  • It is good for you to get out and around other people besides your family, closest friends, and your home. Yes, people can wear you out, but they can also build you up. Getting out in the world and interacting with real people (not online) makes us better people and contribute to a better life balance.

  • The post holiday blahs will hit. It usually happens in the 2-3 days of returning back to your routine, when you’re caught up and things are falling back into their normal rhythm. It’s completely normal to think “Christmas was 2 weeks ago, New Year’s Day was a week ago, and now I’m right back here so soon!” This is a good time to take your thoughts captive. Give thanks that you have a job, or that you’re in school getting an education preparing for a better future. There are many people unemployed that don’t know how they’re going to pay their bills this month, or in too poor of health to get out and about that feel like prisoners in their own homes. Count your blessings. Engage in hobbies or activities that you enjoy in your free time. I think, in fact, that the post holiday blahs are why I always work on a novel in January – it focuses my energy on doing something productive that I enjoy instead of whining about what’s done. Be glad that you had the time off to enjoy, and for what you have to build a better life. The holidays always come back around. And in the year to come, there will doubtless be many more blessings to enjoy, both big and small, every day.

  • Southerners aren’t equipped to deal with the cold. This polar vortex exposed our weakness. As much as we complain about heat and humidity in the summer, the fact is that we handle it much better than the polar express that just ran over us. I have remembered every heat wave ever over the past few days, and vowed to remember these days and not complain the next time the mercury soars over 100 degrees!

Wow, you really do learn new things every day. Here’s hoping this is the start of some great discoveries in 2014! May your new year be filled with less “awkward” and more “improvement” now and in the days and weeks to come.

That’s all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend.

Bye!

Hello, World

11/21/2013

 
Hello world, it’s good to see you again. It’s been a crazy week for me, as I anticipated, but by the grace of God, I’m making it. Thankfully, it seems that some mountains are behind me. No doubt, there will be more mountains to move in the future. That’s the nature of life. 

First, Splinter was finally released over the weekend, and that was a huge relief. Splinter has been a three and a half year journey full of obstacles and fights unlike any I’ve ever seen in writing and publishing a novel. Not only was it the hardest project I’ve worked on to date, but it seems that everything that could go wrong did throughout the entire process. It led me to question whether this was a right course of action many times, but forging ahead seemed to be the answer at every challenge, and now it’s paid off. I’ve fought two arm injuries, multiple illnesses, family issues, work issues, email and technology issues, even what many would refer to as “spiritual warfare” issues – you name it, I faced it. Thanks be to God, it’s published. I can’t describe the tremendous relief I feel now that the process is complete. I did as much publicity and promotion before the release as I could, but there was still a lot that had to wait until it was published and available for sale, and I’ve been busy taking care of those things this week. It’s hard work; but I’m doing it with joy to finally have it published. 

Don’t forget that I’m extending 2 special offers to readers to celebrate this release through the month of November. Quarantine is being offered for free, and Move is being offered for 50% off (that’s $1.50) through midnight on November 30th. You will need to enter Coupon Code BP43X for Quarantine, and Coupon Code QN64T for Move.  I also have a prequel short story posted titled “Fractured” on ReadWave, if you want a sneak peek at it. It’s only 800 words, and you can read it in less than 5 minutes.

Second, I had a 2 day meeting on Monday and Tuesday. Plus, they completed renovations in our office area over the weekend, so my office was a disaster until I got out of the meeting and had a chance to unpack (I’m not mentioning the 2 day pile of work waiting on me on top of that). Again, thanks be to God, we made it through that too. Like Splinter, it wasn’t without obstacles. Everything that could go wrong did on Monday, and I was so exhausted by the time that I got home that I literally couldn’t think straight. Tuesday went better, and I’ve made good progress since then. Thankfully, all of our staff vacancies are filled now, so things are shifting back to their proper order. Let’s pray it sticks this time. I’ve petitioned some prayer power in this area, and it seems to be working. 

Third, Ollie is still struggling with that nerve inflammation in his leg. Rick and I are concerned, but it seems that the final answer on that is to wait it out, because there’s no quick fix or cure for this. The vet said it’s a result of the kidney infection he had last month, and nerve inflammation takes a long time to go down. He’s afraid to medicate Ollie any more because he’s so small, and it might have a detrimental effect. I feel so sorry for the little fellow. It’s hard because he has good days and bad days, and with this shifting weather (hot, cold, rain, hot again, cold again, windy, rain again), it’s not helping his healing, and we want to help him. We’ve tried everything we can, and being patient is hard when you can tell the little fellow is in pain. Ollie is still eating well, and playing as best as he can (although not as much as he used to since his foot is hurt). 

I guess one thing that raised alarms for me is that my brother found one of his cats, Macy, dead yesterday morning. Macy had an upper respiratory infection a couple of months ago, but it cleared up and there was no indication that anything was wrong. I feel bad for Stephen and Nicole, because when you don’t have kids, your worst fears are something happening to your parents, your siblings, or your pets. I still remember how awful it was to lose the parakeets I had before my current “flock,” and that was in 1996. You don’t forget that. I have to admit that, given Ollie’s situation, this bothered me a lot. People keep assuring me that Ollie will recover because he’s been fully diagnosed for all possibilities, but things like this tend to push your “freak out” buttons. Stephen and Nicole thought Macy was fine, and she woke up dead yesterday (not putting it gracefully, I know). I feel bad for them, and I’m trying to pray away my own anxieties over Ollie now. 

Fourth, our church finally has a new pastor under consideration. We’re voting on extending a call Sunday. All we have is basic information on them. No name – I guess they don’t want the younger members of the congregations to Google him and to vote based solely on qualifications. So there’s another transition stage coming to a close, we hope. It’s been over a year and a half since our pastor and associate pastor left, so this has been a longer transition than we expected. It seems that’s the name of the game these days – transitions lasting longer than usual. Problems, obstacles, etc etc etc. 

I’m optimistic that things will settle down into a good place. So positive, in fact, that I rejoined the Information Technology Committee again. I liked being more involved with the church, and I’ve missed not being on a committee this year. Now seems like a good time since my job is settling back to normal, Splinter is published, and we have a new pastor coming in that doesn’t have any preconceived notions or expectations of me or Rick. I’m not officially back “on” the committee until January, but that’s ok. It will be good to be back, and I believe the IT committee is of a magnitude that will fit into my life. I guess rejoining that committee would be a fifth thing that’s happened this week. 

Sixth, Dad’s birthday is tomorrow! I hope he has a great day. We’re doing an “official” celebration on Thanksgiving since he and Mom are planning a day trip to Charleston tomorrow, but I did see them for lunch today and gave him his presents.  It’s supposed to be a nice day tomorrow, and I hope they enjoy it. Happy birthday, Dad!

So yes, it’s been a crazy-busy week, but all for good because things are more or less settling and I’m seeing the fruits of my labors. I pray that the tide is turning. (Again, I’ve petitioned additional prayer power on this and it thankfully seems to be working so far). The relief I’ve felt over the progress of this week’s hard work has actually had me feeling almost human again, for the first time in nearly a year. I won’t lie – these past 12 months have been tough. Not as tough as the major transitions of 2010, but still tough and challenging in ways that tested and stretched me beyond what I believed to be my own capacity. It seemed awfully soon to have to face it too, after just settling in from so much before. But again, by the grace of God, I’m still standing. We all are. And that alone shows His hand on us to help and guide everybody affected by all of this transition and change this past year. We survived. We’re moving forward. We’re thriving. Thanks be to God. 

Yes, I’m relieved. More relieved that I have been in a long time. As I say in the closing line of Splinter, it’s a good day to be alive. 

That’s all today. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend. 

Bye!

Paradigm Shifts

8/26/2013

 
On this, my 38th birthday, I find my self pondering the progress of the past year. I suppose this is a natural thing to do on a birthday. On first glance it could seem disappointing, as there are no "major" changes to report, but that's actually deceptive. There have been changes in the past year, but they've been more in the way of "shifts" instead of what could be clearly defined as "changed." I suppose this sounds somewhat elusive, so of course I'm going to explain.

The progress of the past year has actually been more in the way of building on things that have already been in motion. While it doesn't seem that much has changed - after all, life is progressing along very much the same today as it was a year ago - I can't say that I think about or feel the way that I did about life as I did one, two, or five years ago. In fact, as I ponder it, I notice that my paradigm has shifted quite a bit in the last 4 years. I suppose this is natural. My job changed and I finally broke into publication with my writing in 2010 - 2011, and while these things are "the norm" in my life right now, I see how incorporating those changes into my life has changed my view of life and the world. My basic morals haven't changed. That's not something that's likely to change. But the way you see the world around you and apply those morals can change, and I'm starting to see the evidence that it's happened. When you walk in faith long enough, you delve deeper into things, and that's certainly what's happened to me.

So how have I changed? For one, I'm seeing a whole new application of the concept of "reaping and sowing," as described in Galatians 6:7. You all know that this is one thing that my grandfather was a big believer in, and I took it to heart. But this verse applies to more than just relationships with other people and how you treat them - it also applies to progress and purpose in life. In fact, if you shift two more verses you'll read that "in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) After several years of hard work to re-establish myself professionally in my current workplace and to get my writing established, I see the value of patience in all that we do. If life really is a series of ups and downs, reaping and sowing, then that has big implications for all of life. If we choose to only allow ourselves to be happy on the mountaintop, when we're reaping the rewards of our labors, then we're guaranteed to be miserable (or at least, withholding our own happiness) at least 50% of our life. Folks, that just isn't acceptable to me. That's not going to do it. Sure, there are some people that enjoy being miserable and whining and complaining to get attention, but that's not the way I choose.

I know from experience that there are blessings in every day because I've been through the major life changes when I looked back and realized that there were little blessings that I took for granted, and I was sorry for it. An example: before my writing was published, I used to do counted cross stitching and wrote short stories. Much to my surprise, I find that I have very little time for that now, between promoting my published works and creating new ones. I love my writing and pray daily that it will continue to grow and reach more people - in fact, I'm prayerfully striving to make a break into science fiction with Splinter this fall - but there are some days when I miss having the time to cross stitch, or to goof off on Writing.com with short story contests. I didn't realize how much time these things filled in my life until my writing grew to the point where I had to make decisions about what stayed and what went. I still stitch occasionally, but large projects are out now. And as for short stories, they take me longer to write, prepare, and complete than they once did. And ditto for the work move. I was glad to make it and still believe it was the best, but I didn't realize the little things I took for granted, like talking to a couple of my friends when things got slow, the great walking paths on the State House grounds, a covered parking spot or those outstanding subs for a great price on Tuesdays and Fridays. Yes, I've gained a lot through both changes. I wouldn't undo either of them or the world because I gained a lot more than I lost. But I did learn to not despise the small things, and to appreciate the small blessings that go with each day as well as the big things we work so hard to cultivate and grow in our lives.

Some people say this means to "enjoy the journey on the way to where you go," but I think there's a deeper meaning than that. A devotion I read recently said, "God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to do what's right." That really hit me and helped me to get a grasp on my own paradigm shift. I used to think that the point was about being happy, and I actually worried for a little while, wondering if I'd ever be happy like I was before. I see now that I won't, because happy is a side effect. The purpose of life is not to serve our feelings, but to do what we're supposed to be doing and work hard to do what's right for our purpose in life. If you are faithful in well doing and obedient to the spirit, there's a contentment to your life that nothing - situations, circumstances, or other people and their attitudes (because that really reflects on them more than anything else, but that's a pondering for another entry) - can affect. You can rest in knowing that you're doing all you can, and that allows you to enjoy the blessings of every day, large or small. And contentment is better than happiness. It's more stable, because you can still see the blessing in what you have even if a thousand aggravations are bleeding out of them. It's built on a firmer foundation that gives you the patience to hold out for the "bigger picture" even if you don't understand what the point is (as is often the case). It's built on a trust between you and the Lord and nobody else can put their hands on it. And that can give you the courage to do what's right, even in the face of ridicule, opposition, or doubt. Happiness is transient and comes and goes with circumstances. Contentment is faith in action.

No, the earth hasn't moved in the last year. Things look much the same today as they do every other day. But I know they aren't. I see how the work at the everyday levels is building to something new and better. I might not know what yet, but when it is revealed then I'll reap a reward in due season, and be glad I didn't lose heart.

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

The Perils of Being "Normal"

8/9/2013

 
I got a copy of my performance evaluation this week and cringed at the opening paragraph. The evaluation was good, but it seems that every one I’ve had for the past 3 years opened with “Since Sherri transferred from her former department, she has …” I sighed as I filed it and said to Chloe (because she was on my shoulder and it would be crazy to talk to myself), “am I destined always be preceded by this note that I’m different from every other employee?” I shook my head at it. I’m always different. I always have been and always will be. 99.9% of the time, it doesn’t bother me because I’m proud of how I’m unique from the rest of the world. But every once in a while, it does get to me.

Then the next day somebody told me about a friend that was irritating them to death with frequent telephone calls. Her friend envied her hair and kept calling to ask how she got her hair to look that for an upcoming event. “It’s ridiculous and she’s driving me crazy!” my friend said, “and she’ll never get it to look like mine. Why can’t she accept it?” My friend is right. One of them has straight hair and one has curly hair. They’ll never have identical hairdos because it’s literally impossible. And then the light went off over my own head: it seems that the desire to be normal actually causes MORE problems than being different. As I ponder this further, it’s true. There’s a lot of strife in this world, and most of it goes back to 2 things:

1. People are jealous and envy what others have; or

2. People don’t understand what others are doing because it doesn’t seem “right” to them, so they object.

And in both situations, there’s no way to have a good, functioning relationship with people. So they  argue. They fight. They try to force and coerce others to doing things the way they believe is “right” and refuse to accept people for who they are. What’s more, many of these people are in church every Sunday, and yet the concept of grace and having enough of it to respect the wants and needs of others goes right past them. It’s like it doesn’t even exist. 

I might not be popular, but at least I have freedom. I don’t envy others because I’m too busy attending to the business of my own life. And as a result of that, I usually don’t spend too much mental energy forming opinions of how other people are leading their life unless they intrude on my time/space/territory (then it’s fair game, because I do have a right to determine what is and is not acceptable in my own life, and I can give you the name of a few witnesses that will attest to the fact that I will indeed do just that if you invade my life). I might not understand things, but one thing I’ve learned in adulthood is wisdom is gained from mistakes, and experience is, in many instances, a greater teacher than words. I remember what J.R.R. Tolkein wrote in The Lord of the Rings about the burned hand taking lessons of fire to heart. I also remember what C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters about the prayer the devil loves the most is “make me like everybody else.” That’s Satan’s playground, where every deadly sin has a place to take root. I see the point.  If “everybody is doing it,” then that’s reason to stop right there and ask if it’s wisdom or just the next foolish net laid for this season’s catch.

I know I have too many rough edges for some people to deal with, but I’ve found that they deal with being real and honest a lot better than being fake. I’ve also learned that, as the saying goes about birthday’s, “it’s a matter of mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Being true to who the Lord made you to be not only guarantees that you will find and fulfill all of your purposes in life, but that the opinions of others really don’t matter to you. Things tend to turn out for the best if you stay true to yourself, anyway. Yes, people still shake their head at me occasionally. Yes, I get frustrated with the lack of understanding from time to time. No, I’ll never be popular. No, I’m not in any cliques. I go my own way and do my own thing. But people know my personal policy, and that they can trust me to always do my very best, no matter what. And a funny thing  happens when you stand your ground – people are more comfortable being their real self when they see that you aren’t afraid. They open up more and worry less, and in turn you develop stronger relationships based on mutual trust and respect. That’s just not possible in cliques based on fake conformity, masks, and facades. They can have that, because I don’t have time for what’s fake. Give me something real or get outta here. That’s my stand.

Last week, I read an interesting line in my weekly devotional. It said “God doesn’t want you to be happy. He wants you to do what’s right.” That’s absolutely true. I’m reading through The Bible, and one thing that strikes me is God’s repeated statement to “obey my commands.” Not “do whatever and you’ll be okay,” but “obey my commands.” This is usually followed by a list of how people will prosper if they do and suffer if they don’t. Furthermore, Jesus went on to say that He wants us to have life in all its abundance – but you have to do what’s right to get it. Jesus didn’t say “have an okay life.” He said “life in abundance.”  It seems to me that if you do what’s right, then happy is a side effect.  Too many people are hung up on their feelings these days. They want happy, but don’t understand what it takes to get happy. It’s like they’re feasting on French fries and leaving the steak untouched. Doing right = happy. Do wrong = hurt. It’s the simplest equation and yet, through all of human history, we still don’t get it. I think it goes back to the Mark Twain quote that “opportunity is often missed because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” True enough.

I think this is why unique people are happier in the long run. They aren’t caught up in the trappings of “what everybody else is doing” and “what should be” like others are. They aren’t afraid of who they are or of the hard work it takes to accomplish their dreams. They’re playing the hand they have and making the best of it. And after a while, you learn to play it to win – even if it’s a hand full of jokers!

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and  have a great weekend.

Bye!

New Covers and Stuff

7/10/2013

 
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Check out the awesome new cover for Move, courtesy of the brilliant artwork of Tatina Villa. I absolutely love it and highly recommend her to indie authors for their book covers. She's great to work with, she works fast, and her prices are very good! You can check out more of her great cover designs at Vila Designs. I found her on the Smashwords recommended list and I highly recommend her too!

Not only that, but I enrolled Move in the Smashwords Summer/Winter promotion. If you buy it there during the month of July, you can get it for half off - that's $1.50! Just go to Smashwords and enter coupon code SSW50 by midnight on July 31 to take advantage of the promotion. And best of all, you can download it in any ebook format there. So there's no excuse because you can get it for any ereader or computer.

It's some good news this week. I also made some much needed revisions to "Home" this week and have posted it to my writing portfolio at Writing.com .

So, of you've followed me on social media then you know another person in my work section resigned yesterday. I don't want any of you to misunderstand my frustration with this situation. I certainly understand that people have to do what they have to do to make their lives better. I would never blame anybody for taking advantage of an opportunity. My frustration comes from two places: First, after being totally and completely displaced three years ago when my job moved, some of the whining I hear over changes sounds like the girl that complained to me about having sinus drainage after I had just recovered from a stomach infection. A runny nose sounds whimpy when you've been on 3,000 milligrams of antibiotics for three weeks, and are in the  middle of six weeks of treatment for the internal damage and inflammation the infection left behind. And frankly, some staffing rearrangements and reinterpretations of policies and procedures barely register a blip on my personal radar. But it's pulled the rug out from under some people. Good thing they weren't me three years ago. That was the Hammer of Thor smashing my life to smithereens. What would they have done?

So it's perspective. I see things very differently because of my experiences, and I'm sure my boldness also makes me more likely to stand (and respect those who do rise to it) more than those that take the exit route. But then again, there are also times when it's the better part of wisdom to walk away gracefully and stop fighting a hopeless battle. Who's to say what's right? Well, this is where the other part of the frustration comes in.

You are responsible for doing whatever's necessary to make your life better, but you also have to acknowledge an uncomfortable fact: if you make a major life change that forces other people to make changes to their own life that they didn't plan on, they're going to get pissed off. It's not jealousy, as some  people accuse. It's justifiable anger at having their life changed by a decision made by another person. And frankly, it's not a battle you can win. This is a situation where it's 100% impossible to make all of the people happy. You aren't, and you have to live with the fact that some people are going to be mad at you for what you leave behind for them to deal with. What's more, they have a right to be mad. It's a natural response and it's best to let it play out. It's just one of those things that everybody has to deal with on their own and move on the best they can.

I do have faith that things will work out and in fact, I feel very hopeful that we're on the recovery side of all the transition and chaos that's rocked us these past few months. I know I've said many times that I haven't come this far to quit, fail, or give up, and I see signs that others aren't either. I'm seeing strength emerge and courage in the face of uncertainty, and that's a great encouragement to me. Right now, I see the small glimmers of opportunity that, if properly handled, will lead to the great blessings of tomorrow.

We'll get there. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week or even next month, but I see signs of progress. I'm straining to see it, but there's no doubt that it's there. And that's always a good thing. Let's keep our eyes open to those opportunities and we will reap in due season, if we do not lose faith.

That's all today. Have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

Fluff and Stuff

7/7/2013

 
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So, what's up in your life? Here's a summary of the fluff and stuff that is my life these days. I think these "wazzup" entries are good to let you know what's inspiring my writing each and every day.

Work's a challenge. My boss retired effective June 30, but her last day was actually June 27. I won't lie - it's been a tough year so far for our staff. That's two members of our staff that have left, and two other people in areas that support our programs have also left. 4 people folks. I keep looking for that revolving door so I can seal the darn thing shut. In reality, it's overwhelming. As I told someone last week, every day is a new challenge that has to be conquered. It really is. We're all literally taking life one day at a time now, hoping that eventually it will balance out and stabilize if we just take it as it comes. And I'll be honest with you: this "surviving each day as it comes" is not acceptable to me. It's crap and I don't like it. But I can also whine and complain and kvetch all the time, and it won't change a thing. It is what it is and we have no choice but to take what we've got and make it something better. So I get up every day, and pray, and boldly face the day, believing that one day this too will pass; one day this will work out; one day the load will lighten and we will be back to something that we can call "normal" again. I have to believe that it will. I've been through worse than this and I'm still alive. And I know the Lord wouldn't allow it if it wasn't the path to a better way and a better day. I've done it before, and it looks like I'm called to do it again. It seems a bit soon to me to face radical change again - it's only been 3 years since the last time - but I haven't come this far to fail and be defeated by it. 

At times like this, I'm very thankful for the Law of Undulation. It means that it's literally impossible for this to last forever. Either this will pass, or the world will end and it all goes up in ash. Lovely thought, there. I'm sure we all pray for the former but frankly, there are days that the latter doesn't look so bad. I had a friend that would say "this would be a good rapture moment!" when it got really stressful, and I must admit there have been some of those times too. Of course, I'd remind her that "the Lord isn't letting us out that easy" and we'd all get a laugh. 

So how do I cope? Well, you know me - when the going gets tough, I get writing, and it seems that sci-fi is my go-to genre for times like these. That's okay, because I like sci-fi. I had someone inform me last week that they though it was awful that I was turning to sci-fi and why don't I do romance? So I did the math for them: I like sci-fi + that's what ebook readers are buying + I don't really give a crap what you think because it's not like you actually read a thing I write anyway = I'm writing sci-fi. It's pretty simple, really. People that know me are going to judge my writing based on what they think of me. Strangers will judge my writing by whether or not it's any good. And there are more people I don't personally than I do personally know. It's not vector calculus. 

Rick and I went to the one and only drive-in movie theater a few weeks ago to see World War Z and Man of Steel. We really wanted to see Man of Steel, but it was a double feature and they only let a limited number of people in, so we had to go early and see both movies. I liked Man of Steel, but World War Z wasn't really my thing. I'm not really into zombies, but it seems that's a very popular thing right now. I find it ironic that the brainless, walking dead are popular in a culture accused of "dumbing down." Every time I get in my car, I see brainless activity, and it seems that brain dead crap is always happening in the car in front of me. What's up with that? You wouldn't believe some of the crazy maneuvers I see, and I only have a 10-15 commute each day. It's half of what it used to be, but I see just as much careless driving. It's funny: I know several people teaching their kids to drive and they go on about how driving is a privilege, then they run read lights, swerve lanes, cut off people in traffic, and run Yield signs like they don't exist. There's you're zombies, folks. The brain rots behind the wheel of a car. People ask if I'm afraid to fly and I say no - it's safer to get on an airplane than to get in a car, and I get in the car a lot more often. Why should I be scared to fly? I'm safer at 30,000 feet because those pilots didn't get their license in a Cracker Jack box  like many SC drivers obviously did. 

Zombies driving - that's amusing. You know what's more amusing? People that call and complain about how depressed they are and how awful their life is, and then then they wonder why nobody wants to talk to them. I've heard a lot of people complaining about this little phenomenon lately. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer. There are 4 things that will run people out of your life faster than the Zombie Apocalypse: crying, whining, complaining, and anger. If you're looking to do some housecleaning in your personal life, employ any of these things and that'll do it in swift order. I've seen it happen and will humbly admit that I've made this mistake. I think it took me going through two major life changes and noticing that only my family remained before I realized that I couldn't monopolize everybody with complaining or fussing about the unfairness of life or they'd leave. I've seen other people suffer this same fate by kvetching about their awful  life and crying over the depressing state of things until they raised the rivers to flood stages. I'll even give you a case in point: I know somebody (I promise, not me, but somebody that would bar-b-que me if I mentioned them by name here) that had someone call them every day complaining about being depressed. She tried to cheer this person up to no avail. Finally, one day, the person called while she was in the middle of cooking supper and asked her to come over. The person I know said no, I can't do that, the family will be home soon. "So?" the person said, "I'm depressed! They'll be okay!" That's it, she said. No more. They didn't speak for a while. A couple of months ago, the person I know had a family member get sick. She told this friend, who she decided to forgive and slowly allow back into her life. You know what the friend said? "Oh, stop whining. They'll be fine!" and she curtly said she had to go because she had a visitor and hung up. Do you think the person I know still calls that one a friend? No - and the ex-friend has no idea why she's been cut off!

Addendum: the ex-friend is the one that told me switching to writing sci-fi was awful. Hence, my not caring. I'm pretty sure that if that one were abducted by aliens, they'd bring her back shortly!

The take away: if you want people to be there for you, you have to at least act like you give a crap about them and what they care about. It's my famous tag line: you must at least act like you care even if you don't care about them and their issues any more than you care about the extra 40 minutes in a Martian day. I'll even take it a step further and give you a litmus test: if you're about to call somebody to vent or have a heart to heart, ask youself if you can name two things going on in that person's life that's important to them right now, today, this minute. If you can't, put a sock in it and make the call to find out what's up with them before you commence kvetching. Or read their blog. That'll do it. And don't dare ask for prayers unless you've prayed for others yourself. I know a lot of people guilty of that. Someone asked me to pray for them once. I said sure, remember that I asked for prayers before too. Can I ask that you keep praying? Blush. Oops, forgot. Sorry - but I will! Well, up yours too. You just made the "whatever" list, as in  "Lord, I don't wish them ill, but they're stuck on themself and only You can reach them, so whatever you deem appropriate, do it to lead them to a better balanced life." There. Done.

I know I talk about not complaining too much, and here I am doing it. Guilty as charged. I'm calling it as I see it, but I feel examples are in order and frankly, there are a great number of frustrations in my life now. I'm trying, I really am, to get back in balance. It isn't easy, but I don't give up. I'll just keep writing my awful sci-fi and go on with life :)

We're studying the  Book of Revelation in our Sunday School Class now. It's interesting. It's also hard to take things too seriously when you consider that it's all going up in disaster and flames one day. The problem is that it hasn't happened yet and we don't know when it will, so we're called to keep on keeping on and taking care of this rock we call home until the day comes that we're released through death, rapture, or disaster. Hmm. Those are things you try not to think too hard about.

We just got back from the beach for the 4th of July. We had a good time, but it was typical 4th of July issues: wall to wall people and sweltering heat. There's only one place you can go 4th of July weekend that isn't crowded, and that's church. Every other place is crowded, and you see it no matter where you go. Even here at home it's crowded. However you celebrate, you have to pack your patience. But we did have a good time. We saw the fireworks at Broadway at the Beach and we saw the Good Vibrations show at The Carolina Opry. I really enjoyed that. They played rock songs from the 60's - 80's and put on a great show. If you're in Myrtle Beach, you should see it. I believe they have that show on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays during the summer and Tuesdays and Fridays other times of the year.

But the long weekend is over and tomorrow is back to work time. I shall face the challenges that come and keep working on my writing. And so, it will continue this day, much as every other.

That's all. Thanks for hanging in there, and I hope you have a great week. Here's a video to get us all going.

Bye!

The Shapeshifter Amongst Us

6/15/2013

 
In my last entry, I made the comment that it's impossible to know what the modern workplace is like because of the tremendous power of change. I'd like to expand on this comment in this entry, and muse over how this trend has the potential to leak out of the workplace and into other areas of life now.

It started with technology. Computers revolutionized the workplace, and there's no denying that it made drastic improvements. Frankly, I can't imagine how people of previous generations ran an effective office with things as archaic as file cabinets and typewriters. They managed, but now we're moving at the speed of light, at least in offices. I remember a colleague once saying "remember when we sent out notification letters? It would take a week or more for people to reply to them now. Now it's notification emails and thanks to smartphones, our own phones blow up within seconds of hitting "send." It's true. Things move faster now, and they have more ways in than ever. Is it a good thing? All in all, probably so. Things get done faster and have the potential to get done more efficiently. But notice the adjective that's more active than the actual verb in that sentence: potential. Because efficiency depends largely on effective and (most importantly) wise implementation. And this requires having people that make sound decisions and are willing to learn and grow with the changes this improvement brings.

Yes, technology is ever changing, and it requires people in the workforce to keep changing with it. Nothing stays the same, and now we're morphing with the speed of development. You always have to be willing to grow and learn, to embrace new things and let go of old things that might be comforting, but are no longer effective. The good new is that this change, when done with pure motives and right intentions, is the path to progress. You learn, you grow, and hopefully you take those lessons into your personal life and see what you gained continue to bless your life.

Ah, but there's another side to this, and here's the catch. This is where the shapeshifter comes into play, because the constant change in the workplace started with technology, but it oozed it's hand into other aspects of the workplace as well. Changes in how things are done require changes in management, changes in staff, changes in operations. It doesn't stop with the machines. Integrating the machines changes the people, and the way people operate. It means that we must not only adapt to how the machines help us to do our work better, but we also must embrace how the machines change the human element of the workplace. And this, folks, is where we run into issues, because machines don't have a mind and will of their own, but people do, and they aren't afraid to use it. For better or for worse, and sadly, the tendency to react rather than reflect and act in faith means that this element is subject to lots of rash decisions and acts that aren't always conductive to progress.

I've come to realize that there are two kinds of change. The first kind is the progressive kind that I discussed above. An opportunity opens and it's given thoughtful deliberation and consideration. People take advantage of that opportunity and more opportunities arise from it. Yes, it's hard and it requires change, learning new things, and forging into new areas, but the hard work is worth it and beyond the growning pains come progress that lead to a "golden age" of productivity and success. This is the kind of change we should always embrace, and that we shouldn't fear. Yes, it takes hard work to do new things, but the work of laying that solid foundation pays off when you build something that's stronger and better for a new day. Often, the things you learn from these "hard seasons of growth" can be implemented into other areas of life which spurs more growth and more blessing. It can have a chain reaction. One example of this: My office move 3 years ago gave me the courage and strength to start the process of becoming an independent author. The trials I went through getting those programs moved opened my eyes to every area of life, and I realized that I had spent a lot of years submitting my writing to traditional publishers in a sinking economy that had bolted their doors closed to new authors and weren't listening. "If they stop listening, stop talking," someone advised me around that time (of a different situation, but ...) and one day I stumbled upon a CNN article about how ebooks were outselling hardbacks and the light went off. I dug in to edit and revamp my approach, submitted to epublishers and mixed in some self publishing, and now 3 years and 7 books later, I finally have the foundation laid that I was waiting for someone else to do for far too long. I lost my fear of taking chances, I found the courage to make bold moves of faith on my own, and I finally got the ball rolling on the progress I had prayed for. That success gave me the courage to stand firm, to learn what I needed to learn, and to work with others to make the move successful, and it was. Progressive change at work had a 2 for 1 special in my life: the work move was successful despite setbacks and challenges along the way, and I got established as an independent author.

Ah, but there's another kind of change, and sadly I see it in my life now. It's change born of fear, and this is almost always detrimental. Sadly, progressive change usually gives way to this. Things move along well and people are happy with how it's going, but then something happens that changes some element that everybody was comfortable with. Usually, it has to do with setbacks, challenges, changes in leadership, or an unexpected loss of some sort. People get scared and react. Instead of asking "okay, what can we do to stabilize the situation and are there any opportunities from this, no matter how small, that we can seize and use to rebuild?" they ask "how do we protect ourselves." The motives shift from purity (doing better) to selfish (save me!), and that's the road to destruction. Change is not about progress, but about re-establishing control, protecting the "status quo," and preventing more damage. This is where you run into trouble, because damage control is never productive and that's looking at the situation from the wrong end. I think we all remember Yoda's logic in Star Wars Episode 1 - "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side." That's not fiction; it's face. People get scared and they react. Then they get mad because things aren't working out. Then the anger replaces all semblance of reason, and it becomes a battle. As Loki so eloquently put it in The Avengers, freedom leads to a mad scramble of power. Yep, he had a grain of truth there too. It's scary.

Take it from one that's seeing it unfold. There are changes afoot in an area of my life now, and I find myself surrounded by a lot of fear. It's disturbing. I find myself pondering a lot of things, but foremost amongst them is protecting the progress I've worked so hard to achieve over the past few years. An emerging culture of fear could well do that, at least in this one area, and that means that a fight is on. It might already be on, because these spiritual things are a whole different battlefield. That's one song I do not want to sing another verse of in my life. I pray over it a lot, because I don't want to become another soldier of fear. I'm determined to stand firm and to protect the progress I've made. Fear is the devil's best tool, and by the power of Christ I will stand. I pray such courage will spread to others as well. That's a good infection that we desperately need.

Change will happen, and it can be tough to discern whether you're seeing the progressive or the destructive kind. All change is scary because it usually means challenges, hard work, sacrifice, and learning. Growth is hard because it stretches us to new places, but in the end it's good. And destruction also hurts because, well, it's supposed to hurt. There's nothing good about it and being torn down is a catalyst to find some courage and fight against whatever is trying to undo the progress you've done. In the end, you have to keep your head about you and discern the motives for the change. Pray, meditate, dig deep, ask questions, ponder the situation, and find out if the motive is pure. If it is, then you're being called upon to grow and it's a challenge and an opportunity to accept. If it's born of fear, sharpen your sword and get ready to fight because it's on like Donkey Kong, and you better be ready to stand firm or you'll get smashed by barrels of defeat.

And with that dated and somewhat lame analogy, I will call the point made and the entry done. I hope you have a great weekend and that all of you dad's out there have a Happy Father's Day tomorrow.

Bye!
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    Escape Reality

    By day, I'm a program assistant. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction offers an escape from the reality of day-to-day life. See how my experiences lead to creating new worlds! 

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