Hi all; I thought I'd give you a general update on what's happening in my corner of the world.

First, Splinter is coming out next week! I'm excited, of course, and will update you with buy links for the book as soon as they're available. It's only going to be available in ebook format. Lots of people ask me why, and the reason is that I have to pay to make it available in paperback, and frankly I never recup the costs of it. Almost all of my books sales are ebooks and the paperbacks just don't move, so I invest that money in promotion of the electronic version instead. If you'd like a sneak peek at Splinter, you can check out the short story I posted on ReadWave yesterday titled "Fractured". It's told from the point of view of Amelia Eaton, the doctor on Jovan I and Leigh Lybrand's best friend, and it gives a great setup to the novel because it hints at something important that happens about 18 months before Splinter opens. Go check it out - the story is only 800 words, and you can read it in less than 5 minutes.

If you were on social media Thursday, then you know my car broke down when I went out to lunch that day. What a story! I actually went out to pick up a Christmas gift I ordered for Rick. They tried to deliver it to the house, but unbeknownst to me, they sent it with a signature required, so when it arrived Wednesday and I wasn't there, they left a nice little card in the mailbox. So I already had to explain to Rick why the post office was trying to deliver a parcel to me, because he gets home before I do. I had to go to the post office Thursday to pick it up, or they were going to return it to the sender, which I didn't want, of course. I made it all the way to the post office (I didn't realize how far out in the boondocks the post office serving our zip code was!) and the car started smoking when I pulled back in the parking lot at work. I went in to tell my co-workers what was happening, and took it straight to a mechanic that set up shop about 2/10 of a mile from my house. The car started overheating on that ride, and I had to stop twice to rest the engine before it shut off. (Thank goodness my office is only about 3 miles from home). But thanks be to God, I made it. I walked home carrying my purse, work bag, and Rick's gift (which was bigger than I expected, but thank goodness not heavy). And also thankfully, nobody saw me walking  home, as it's a dirt road with little traffic from my house to that mechanic. It turns out that a valve in my radiator had a hole in it, and all of the antifreeze leaked out. They fixed it the same day, which was amazing, and I picked it up before work yesterday (they wanted it to sit overnight to make sure it didn't leak any more antifreeze). The car's doing fine now, but it relieved me of $281. To replace a $8 part, I might add.

Speaking of Rick, he did recover from the tissue infection in his cheek. It was a painful ordeal, and we're glad it's over. We still aren't sure how he got it. I surmise it has something to do with working in a middle school and handling all of those student and teacher iPads. People can be pretty nasty sometimes. We actually had a good weekend last weekend, because he felt better and we had a chance to have a "date day" for the first time in about a month. We went to the gun show, out to lunch, and to see Thor: The Dark World. We enjoyed it and it was great to have a chance to go out and do something fun together. But now he's down again, because he got a flu shot yesterday, and it has him feeling run down today. He hasn't had a flu shot in a few years, and it seems to have knocked him out this time. He can't seem to win. This should pass by tomorrow or Monday according to the paperwork they gave him.

Ollie is over his kidney infection, but it left him with nerve inflammation in his leg. Some days are better than others. I've bugged the vet about it several time and even took Ollie back because of it. The vet said it will get better in time, but inflammation takes a while to go down, and little Ollie seems to be a slow healer. Some days are better than others. I hate it because I can tell the leg is really bothering him sometimes. But he still sings, and plays, and he's eating very well. The vet said to try to get him to work that leg - a kind of "physical therapy" - and we're trying but again, some days are better than others. We all know that the changing weather isn't helping matters either, because I can tell it bugs him more when it's cold. Poor little fellow.

Christmas shopping is 80% done. I  know I won't finish before Thanksgiving, but that's okay because I think I can finish in early December with this rate of progress. I have to, because the workload at my job peaks in December. Along with a December 16th exam deadline, we also have everybody wanting to get licensed before the end of the year so they can start on projects at the beginning of the new year. It's insanity, and I've learned that I have to plan ahead to handle "the crush" if I want to keep from drowning. It can get overwhelming, between a heavy workload and your family and social life picking up for the holidays. Why every place I've worked seems to hit a "crunch time" between Thanksgiving and Christmas is beyond me - I guess it must be a trend no matter where you work. Things just get more active all around during the holidays. But thank God, I hope that planning ahead will keep me sane. I was so stressed and overwhelmed last holiday season that I was miserable and couldn't enjoy the holidays even when I was finally away from all the madness. I just couldn't seem to "wind down" from everything pounding on me, and I don't ever want to be in that place again. I'll err on the side of wisdom and take people snickering and calling me "anal" if it means I can keep an even keel once it all busts loose in a few weeks and actually be able to enjoy the season like we're supposed to.

And that reminds me to give you a follow up that I should have done a while ago. I know I said in July that I was having problems with being angry all the time and at so many people and situations because of the crazy amount of change since last  December. I wanted to let you know that I am feeling better and I think I'm making progress in this area. It's not easy to deal with anger. Of course, you have every right to be angry when people are making decisions that you have to pay the price for, but that doesn't give you justification to stay angry. That's putting yourself in a prison and, as I said in July, that's not the kind of person I want to be. I see now that sometimes people just make bad decisions, and whatever consequences you suffer for it, they suffer much more because they're in the middle of it. Periphery problems, as I was struggling with at the time, pass much faster than being in the dead center of the chaos. But another issue is that I also realize that I'm not the only one that was overwhelmed. Many people were, and some still are, but everybody is trying to get settled in a better place. I see intent to make progress and it's paid off in some ways already, so I'm content to hang in there and keep things moving in a right direction. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we're called to do, but it's possible through prayer. Moving on can be hard too, but again it's possible if you're willing to learn from the past and gain wisdom from all that you experience. I have heard that  more change may be on the way for me in the new year, and that's okay as well. I see some benefits to it and while I realize that a learning curve and adjustments might be on the horizon (again), I prayed over it and feel this is for ultimate good for me and many others. Nothing is definite, but I'll pass along more if and when it comes to pass.

I think the greatest thing I've come to learn over these past months as I worked through the anger issue is that I had an error in my own perception. I was in a rut for so many years at my old workplace, that I thought the "normal" state of being was just that - being in a groove. But that's not right. I've come to see that the constant change and state of flux I've seen over the past 3 years is actually the norm, and that 6 year rut was the exception. I've been working so long and hard to "get settled down," and now I realize that the proper state of life is actually change and constant motion. "Normal" is constant work and striving toward something better, to making the next steps and to moving ahead, not settling in a groove of the "same old same old" that slowly kills your soul. The happiness I thought I had in those days was nothing more than comfort of routine and fear of change, and I really had to be jolted to get out of that deceptive trap. Although I wouldn't relive that adjustment phase again for any amount of money or reward, I will say that I'm glad it happened, because my life is in a much better place, and the happiness I have now is based not on "comfort," but on faith and gratitude for a life that I finally realize is filled to overflowing with blessings. I had it backwards, and that's been part of my anger and adjustment problems to this big life change since 2010. That was a major revelation to me, and it helped me to start making steps in a positive direction in my own attitude and expectations of life.

So am I still going through with the big life evaluation and purge I planned for January 1? It doesn't look like I need to. I see where things fit now, and I also see the progress and change on the horizon that I was  hoping for.

Well, I think that's quite enough for one day. I hope you're all doing well. Take care, and have a great weekend.

Bye!

Hi all; I wanted to give you an update on what's going on with me, and why I haven't been updating quite as much  lately.

Life is always busy, but it seems we're battling infections in our home. You know that Zack (our male sun conure) had a sinus infection about a month ago, that Ollie got a kidney infection last week, and that I'm recovering from an infection myself. Well, Rick got extremely ill Thursday and went to the doctor. It turns out he has a tissue infection in his right cheek, and it's extremely painful. The doctor gave him an antibiotic for the infection, but nothing for the pain. He was hurting so badly that he couldn't sleep or even function, so there were more calls to the doctor yesterday. Finally, they called him in a painkiller. Problem is, Rick is pretty resistant to painkillers - so sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

On top of that, Ollie (our parakeet) was still limping around yesterday. He seemed better, but that leg was still obviously bothering him. So I had to do the schedule juggle of getting Rick's medicine and supplies and taking Ollie back to the vet for his follow up. It turns out that Ollie's infection is gone (thank God), but he still has inflammation in that leg nerve under his kidney. The vet gave him an anti-inflammatory shot and said to keep an eye on him over the weekend. He was doing better last night, so here's hoping one more illness is on the path to recovery.

Needless to say, I didn't make it to work yesterday. I always feel bad about being out, especially on a Friday because it just seems so suspicious. But it couldn't be helped. I was running from 8:30 until about 2 yesterday, and then there were things around the house that needed tending to. It was more active than a normal work day. In fact, I promised the co-worker that I called in to that I'd check my emails periodically throughout the day, but I didn't have a chance to do that during business hours - I just did it. Thankfully, it looks like I didn't miss much, at least through emails. And Fridays are usually slower days, so maybe I won't get pounded too hard when I get back to the office. Maybe.

If you're keeping count, that means that Chloe (our female sun conure) is the last hen standing. She'd the only one in this house that hasn't had an infection, and I pray fervently that she isn't touched by whatever it is that keep infecting us. I really have no idea why this is happening. We have the cleanest house in the county, perhaps the state, and we're careful to wash hands and pick up after ourselves. It's not like we live in a pigsty that should be breeding this mess.

And finally, on Splinter - it could be released any time between now and mid-month. I'll let you know when I hear more on that. But it won't be much longer. And I'll be grateful because frankly, I could desperately use some good news.

So that's why my updates and posts have been more rare, and hit and miss when they happen. Life has just collapsed into nothing but problem solving and troubleshooting these days. Here's hoping this is a brief season and that it passes quickly so we can get back to living and enjoying life.

That's all today. Take care and have a great weekend.

Bye!

So, what's up in your life? Here's a summary of the fluff and stuff that is my life these days. I think these "wazzup" entries are good to let you know what's inspiring my writing each and every day.

Work's a challenge. My boss retired effective June 30, but her last day was actually June 27. I won't lie - it's been a tough year so far for our staff. That's two members of our staff that have left, and two other people in areas that support our programs have also left. 4 people folks. I keep looking for that revolving door so I can seal the darn thing shut. In reality, it's overwhelming. As I told someone last week, every day is a new challenge that has to be conquered. It really is. We're all literally taking life one day at a time now, hoping that eventually it will balance out and stabilize if we just take it as it comes. And I'll be honest with you: this "surviving each day as it comes" is not acceptable to me. It's crap and I don't like it. But I can also whine and complain and kvetch all the time, and it won't change a thing. It is what it is and we have no choice but to take what we've got and make it something better. So I get up every day, and pray, and boldly face the day, believing that one day this too will pass; one day this will work out; one day the load will lighten and we will be back to something that we can call "normal" again. I have to believe that it will. I've been through worse than this and I'm still alive. And I know the Lord wouldn't allow it if it wasn't the path to a better way and a better day. I've done it before, and it looks like I'm called to do it again. It seems a bit soon to me to face radical change again - it's only been 3 years since the last time - but I haven't come this far to fail and be defeated by it. 

At times like this, I'm very thankful for the Law of Undulation. It means that it's literally impossible for this to last forever. Either this will pass, or the world will end and it all goes up in ash. Lovely thought, there. I'm sure we all pray for the former but frankly, there are days that the latter doesn't look so bad. I had a friend that would say "this would be a good rapture moment!" when it got really stressful, and I must admit there have been some of those times too. Of course, I'd remind her that "the Lord isn't letting us out that easy" and we'd all get a laugh. 

So how do I cope? Well, you know me - when the going gets tough, I get writing, and it seems that sci-fi is my go-to genre for times like these. That's okay, because I like sci-fi. I had someone inform me last week that they though it was awful that I was turning to sci-fi and why don't I do romance? So I did the math for them: I like sci-fi + that's what ebook readers are buying + I don't really give a crap what you think because it's not like you actually read a thing I write anyway = I'm writing sci-fi. It's pretty simple, really. People that know me are going to judge my writing based on what they think of me. Strangers will judge my writing by whether or not it's any good. And there are more people I don't personally than I do personally know. It's not vector calculus. 

Rick and I went to the one and only drive-in movie theater a few weeks ago to see World War Z and Man of Steel. We really wanted to see Man of Steel, but it was a double feature and they only let a limited number of people in, so we had to go early and see both movies. I liked Man of Steel, but World War Z wasn't really my thing. I'm not really into zombies, but it seems that's a very popular thing right now. I find it ironic that the brainless, walking dead are popular in a culture accused of "dumbing down." Every time I get in my car, I see brainless activity, and it seems that brain dead crap is always happening in the car in front of me. What's up with that? You wouldn't believe some of the crazy maneuvers I see, and I only have a 10-15 commute each day. It's half of what it used to be, but I see just as much careless driving. It's funny: I know several people teaching their kids to drive and they go on about how driving is a privilege, then they run read lights, swerve lanes, cut off people in traffic, and run Yield signs like they don't exist. There's you're zombies, folks. The brain rots behind the wheel of a car. People ask if I'm afraid to fly and I say no - it's safer to get on an airplane than to get in a car, and I get in the car a lot more often. Why should I be scared to fly? I'm safer at 30,000 feet because those pilots didn't get their license in a Cracker Jack box  like many SC drivers obviously did. 

Zombies driving - that's amusing. You know what's more amusing? People that call and complain about how depressed they are and how awful their life is, and then then they wonder why nobody wants to talk to them. I've heard a lot of people complaining about this little phenomenon lately. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer. There are 4 things that will run people out of your life faster than the Zombie Apocalypse: crying, whining, complaining, and anger. If you're looking to do some housecleaning in your personal life, employ any of these things and that'll do it in swift order. I've seen it happen and will humbly admit that I've made this mistake. I think it took me going through two major life changes and noticing that only my family remained before I realized that I couldn't monopolize everybody with complaining or fussing about the unfairness of life or they'd leave. I've seen other people suffer this same fate by kvetching about their awful  life and crying over the depressing state of things until they raised the rivers to flood stages. I'll even give you a case in point: I know somebody (I promise, not me, but somebody that would bar-b-que me if I mentioned them by name here) that had someone call them every day complaining about being depressed. She tried to cheer this person up to no avail. Finally, one day, the person called while she was in the middle of cooking supper and asked her to come over. The person I know said no, I can't do that, the family will be home soon. "So?" the person said, "I'm depressed! They'll be okay!" That's it, she said. No more. They didn't speak for a while. A couple of months ago, the person I know had a family member get sick. She told this friend, who she decided to forgive and slowly allow back into her life. You know what the friend said? "Oh, stop whining. They'll be fine!" and she curtly said she had to go because she had a visitor and hung up. Do you think the person I know still calls that one a friend? No - and the ex-friend has no idea why she's been cut off!

Addendum: the ex-friend is the one that told me switching to writing sci-fi was awful. Hence, my not caring. I'm pretty sure that if that one were abducted by aliens, they'd bring her back shortly!

The take away: if you want people to be there for you, you have to at least act like you give a crap about them and what they care about. It's my famous tag line: you must at least act like you care even if you don't care about them and their issues any more than you care about the extra 40 minutes in a Martian day. I'll even take it a step further and give you a litmus test: if you're about to call somebody to vent or have a heart to heart, ask youself if you can name two things going on in that person's life that's important to them right now, today, this minute. If you can't, put a sock in it and make the call to find out what's up with them before you commence kvetching. Or read their blog. That'll do it. And don't dare ask for prayers unless you've prayed for others yourself. I know a lot of people guilty of that. Someone asked me to pray for them once. I said sure, remember that I asked for prayers before too. Can I ask that you keep praying? Blush. Oops, forgot. Sorry - but I will! Well, up yours too. You just made the "whatever" list, as in  "Lord, I don't wish them ill, but they're stuck on themself and only You can reach them, so whatever you deem appropriate, do it to lead them to a better balanced life." There. Done.

I know I talk about not complaining too much, and here I am doing it. Guilty as charged. I'm calling it as I see it, but I feel examples are in order and frankly, there are a great number of frustrations in my life now. I'm trying, I really am, to get back in balance. It isn't easy, but I don't give up. I'll just keep writing my awful sci-fi and go on with life :)

We're studying the  Book of Revelation in our Sunday School Class now. It's interesting. It's also hard to take things too seriously when you consider that it's all going up in disaster and flames one day. The problem is that it hasn't happened yet and we don't know when it will, so we're called to keep on keeping on and taking care of this rock we call home until the day comes that we're released through death, rapture, or disaster. Hmm. Those are things you try not to think too hard about.

We just got back from the beach for the 4th of July. We had a good time, but it was typical 4th of July issues: wall to wall people and sweltering heat. There's only one place you can go 4th of July weekend that isn't crowded, and that's church. Every other place is crowded, and you see it no matter where you go. Even here at home it's crowded. However you celebrate, you have to pack your patience. But we did have a good time. We saw the fireworks at Broadway at the Beach and we saw the Good Vibrations show at The Carolina Opry. I really enjoyed that. They played rock songs from the 60's - 80's and put on a great show. If you're in Myrtle Beach, you should see it. I believe they have that show on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays during the summer and Tuesdays and Fridays other times of the year.

But the long weekend is over and tomorrow is back to work time. I shall face the challenges that come and keep working on my writing. And so, it will continue this day, much as every other.

That's all. Thanks for hanging in there, and I hope you have a great week. Here's a video to get us all going.

Bye!

There are some phrases in widespread, common use that seem to be universal hot buttons to piss people off. Really, I don’t understand how it became commonplace for people to say things that erode the very respect that relationships are built on, and yet I hear people say it – and complain about having these things said to them – frequently. 

Certainly, we should always be honest and authentic in our dealings with people, but discernment is an absolute necessity in our dealings with ALL people. Just because it flies through your brain doesn’t mean it needs to fly out of your mouth, and in fact there are many times when it’s best to keep that thought in your head and fake it till you make it with your words (or silence, depending on the situation). For example, here are some phrases you should eliminate (or at least, drastically reduce) in your vocabulary that will garner more respect, motivate people to cooperate and work well with you, and make you appear more intelligent and savvy:

1.   “Whatever.” Nothing coveys the ignorant-inconsiderate-jerk trifecta like this one word phrase. You have the entire English language at your disposal and that’s all you’ve got? If it is, then it’s time to recognize the uncomfortable fact that sometimes, the best course of action is to gracefully back away and let silence be golden. And if you refuse to exercise the right to remain silent, then a simple “I hope that works out for you and wish you luck” is much more dignified than throwing out something that makes you look like a cross between an immature tween and a person that’s learning English as a second language -  and isn’t quite getting it.

2.    “Do what you’ve got to do.” I don’t hear this one as much as I used to, but it’s still out there, and it’s a sin for the same reasons as “whatever.” More accurately, that’s redneck for “I don’t like what you’re doing and would move Heaven and Earth to stop you, but that would reveal me as a selfish jerk to the rest of the world and I don’t want to do that, so go on and get this over with so you can get back to doing things that make me happy.” It isn’t your job to like or even understand everything that other people do, so let go and accept that people have a right to lead their lives, do things, and make decisions that work best for them regardless of what you say, think, or need. Instead, say “I understand this is important to you.” Even if you don’t and you hope it blows up in their face, just fake it and at least acknowledge their right to live as they see fit.  Because I guarantee you’ve done things that made them go “Hmmm” in the past . Plus,  if you want people to stay interested in your life, then you have to at least act like you give a crap about them and their life, even if you don’t care about them any more than you care about the extra 40 minutes in a Martian day. 

3.   “That’s not my problem.” I stand back when people say this because it’s an open invitation for the universe to hit you with its best shot, and that’s a challenge it ALWAYS accepts. Sure, you aren’t responsible for every single thing that happens in the world, and there are some things that aren’t your business, but have some dignity in declining to accept responsibility that you feel isn’t yours. “I’m sorry I can’t help you with that” is much more gracious and doesn’t invite fate, the universe, the world, or whatever you wish to call it to deliver an entirely new batch of problems into your life. Fake sympathy for the other persons’ plight even if you don’t really feel it because you WILL be at the receiving end of this one day, and the measure you get will be the measure you’ve given. It happens to us all.

4.  “You don’t really want that,” or “Stop wasting your time on that and do this instead.” Excuse me, when did God appoint you to His position, because that’s what it looks like you’re playing at with either variation of this. You have no way of knowing what’s in other peoples’ hearts or what plans are in store for them, and they aren’t required to get your approval for it, either. People have a right to make their own decisions. You never know what might happen and statements like this may very well make a fool of you one day. Don’t take a chance. 

5.  “I told you so.” Even if you preface it with the I-hate-to-say-it-but clause, it’s still ridiculous because they already know. Demonstrate some maturity and don’t gloat over somebody’s failings, even if they asked for it and everybody knew it was foolishness from the start. As I said in the last statement, people have a right to make their own decisions and that means having the grace to let them make their own mistakes. Pray they’ve learned from the experience, and don’t gloat lest you wander into folly someday. Because none of us are as smart as we think we are. 
 
6.    “ I did that too, and let me tell you how I did it better.” Nobody likes a know-it-all or a show off, and a constant need to one-up people blinks “I’m insecure!” brighter than a digital billboard. You don’t have to be in the spotlight every minute of every day. Back down and let others have their day in the sun every now and then. Because we all know that nobody’s done everything under the sun, and there will always be people out there that have done it bigger, better and more recently than you have. Let go of the competition to always be #1 and learn to be happy with the life the Lord gave you.

7.   “If I were you, I’d …” Turn off anybody that prefaces a statement with this immediately, because it’s a clear sign that they don’t know what they’re talking about. Wisdom gives options. Experience shares insight. Ignorance says that if they were you, they’d go out and kick the world in the you-know-where, and that’s most often foolishness that would make a bigger mess of things if anybody were dumb enough to take this advice. Plus, they wouldn’t have the guts to actually do it, because some people are good at telling people to do things they wouldn’t dare do themselves.

8.     “You should make them do it.” Guess what? Scientists have found the center of the universe and it’s not you. That’s the fastest way to run a person out of your life. You don’t make anybody do anything they don’t want to do, and if you try to then trust me – you’re ego can’t handle what they really think about you. If you have to control someone every minute to “keep them in line,” then you’re trying to force them into a place or relationship where they don’t belong. Don’t beg people to be your friend or try to force them to your will. Pray for what Joyce Meyer refers to as “divine connections.” Those are friends and acquaintances that you get along with so well that you don’t want to change them because you appreciate how their uniqueness enriches your life. 

9.     “I would NEVER do that/accept that/put up with that.” Never say never or the Lord will make you do it to show you who the boss really is. One never in your life that’s absolute: you never know what life has in store for you. Someday you could well be dining on crow while dealing with something that you thought you were too smart/special/good for. Life has a way of humbling us, and the “I would never” statements are a GPS on how to get that done. 

10.   Anything other than “I’m sorry for your loss” and “I’m praying for you and your family” at a visitation or funeral. Anything else sounds stupid and believe me, there’s nothing clever or inspirational you can say that will get through people in the depths of grief. The dumbest things I’ve ever heard have all been said at visitations and/or funerals because people try to justify death and offer comfort in religious platitudes. Folks, I’m Christian too, but this isn’t seminary or time to play preacher. I remember what C.S. Lewis wrote about death not being natural because human beings weren’t created to die and it’s the most painful consequence that we pay for sin. He’s absolutely right. There’s nothing right about death and there’s no way to wrap it up in pretty phrases or platitudes that makes it suck less. So give it up. Don’t engage in conversations with the bereaved if they try to start one, either. This isn’t the time or place to engage in theological discussions, discuss anything beyond condolences for the loss (no gossip or “what’s up with me” statements), and it certainly isn’t appropriate to leverage your personality or make a big impression. It’s a subdued occasion so dial it down, make an appearance, and for goodness sake, shut up.

Maybe you relate to some of this and are nodding, saying thank you for revealing it! Or maybe you see it as a calling out. I certainly don’t mean it that way, and I admit that I’m guilty of uttering some of these phrases. In fact, I  had to work at cutting the “whatever” and “I told you so” out of my vocabulary, and I get along with people so much better now that it’s gone. My point is not to say “shame on you.” It’s  to shed light on small things that chip away at trust and give guidance that I’ve learned in building bridges to cooperative relationships that last. It takes time and effort, but if modifying my vocabulary slightly will help with that, then it’s an effort worth making. I believe if you’ve read this far then you believe it’s a worthy effort, too.

That’s all today. Take care. I hope you have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend. 
 
Bye!