I had no idea that school started back up this week! Oops! Well, it didn't take me long to figure it out, between Rick informing me that the most stressful time of the year was upon him, and I hit bumper to bumper traffic on my commute these past couple of days. I guess I tuned out all the back to school stuff because frankly, when you're in the workforce, one season is much the same as the rest. It's Monday - Friday, winter, spring, summer, and fall. 

See what you kids have to look forward to? 

Really, where did the summer go? I suppose I did lose track of it with everything going on these past few months. It's understandable, but still shocking. You hate to take a look around and say "whoa, what's happening?" but there are times when it happens to us all. It seems I'm still working on the getting back on track thing. It's alright. We all live one day at a time, and the world keeps turning. 


In other news, I have the first couple of chapters of Fracture written, and it's got a pretty good foundation going. The situation is set and now it's time to watch it unfold. This is a big project, and I'm trying to remember to have fun with it and to enjoy the whole process of writing it, from start to finish. While I always enjoy my writing, it seems that each novel and/or project is a unique experience. Now that I've done one sci-fi novel (Splinter) and a novella (Incursion), I do feel more comfortable and confident writing in this genre - so I'm having more fun with planning and plotting now, and I'm not so nervous about "pulling it off." I know I can do it, because I've done it twice already. Now I really get to find myself in the sci-fi genre through this project. 


I'm also getting back into exercising. My parents gave us their stationary bicycle last weekend, because they decided to go back to using a treadmill and our treadmill was on it's last legs. We've been using a treadmill and walking for years, and I think we got slack with it because we were bored and needed a change. So far, it's working out, but wow my legs are sort. It's definitely a different kind of workout! But it's good to be exercising again. I want to make that a regular part of my life again. 


So that's life here. I hope you're doing well. Take care, and have a great week. 


Bye! 

Hello world, it’s good to see you again. It’s been a crazy week for me, as I anticipated, but by the grace of God, I’m making it. Thankfully, it seems that some mountains are behind me. No doubt, there will be more mountains to move in the future. That’s the nature of life. 

First, Splinter was finally released over the weekend, and that was a huge relief. Splinter has been a three and a half year journey full of obstacles and fights unlike any I’ve ever seen in writing and publishing a novel. Not only was it the hardest project I’ve worked on to date, but it seems that everything that could go wrong did throughout the entire process. It led me to question whether this was a right course of action many times, but forging ahead seemed to be the answer at every challenge, and now it’s paid off. I’ve fought two arm injuries, multiple illnesses, family issues, work issues, email and technology issues, even what many would refer to as “spiritual warfare” issues – you name it, I faced it. Thanks be to God, it’s published. I can’t describe the tremendous relief I feel now that the process is complete. I did as much publicity and promotion before the release as I could, but there was still a lot that had to wait until it was published and available for sale, and I’ve been busy taking care of those things this week. It’s hard work; but I’m doing it with joy to finally have it published. 

Don’t forget that I’m extending 2 special offers to readers to celebrate this release through the month of November. Quarantine is being offered for free, and Move is being offered for 50% off (that’s $1.50) through midnight on November 30th. You will need to enter Coupon Code BP43X for Quarantine, and Coupon Code QN64T for Move.  I also have a prequel short story posted titled “Fractured” on ReadWave, if you want a sneak peek at it. It’s only 800 words, and you can read it in less than 5 minutes.

Second, I had a 2 day meeting on Monday and Tuesday. Plus, they completed renovations in our office area over the weekend, so my office was a disaster until I got out of the meeting and had a chance to unpack (I’m not mentioning the 2 day pile of work waiting on me on top of that). Again, thanks be to God, we made it through that too. Like Splinter, it wasn’t without obstacles. Everything that could go wrong did on Monday, and I was so exhausted by the time that I got home that I literally couldn’t think straight. Tuesday went better, and I’ve made good progress since then. Thankfully, all of our staff vacancies are filled now, so things are shifting back to their proper order. Let’s pray it sticks this time. I’ve petitioned some prayer power in this area, and it seems to be working. 

Third, Ollie is still struggling with that nerve inflammation in his leg. Rick and I are concerned, but it seems that the final answer on that is to wait it out, because there’s no quick fix or cure for this. The vet said it’s a result of the kidney infection he had last month, and nerve inflammation takes a long time to go down. He’s afraid to medicate Ollie any more because he’s so small, and it might have a detrimental effect. I feel so sorry for the little fellow. It’s hard because he has good days and bad days, and with this shifting weather (hot, cold, rain, hot again, cold again, windy, rain again), it’s not helping his healing, and we want to help him. We’ve tried everything we can, and being patient is hard when you can tell the little fellow is in pain. Ollie is still eating well, and playing as best as he can (although not as much as he used to since his foot is hurt). 

I guess one thing that raised alarms for me is that my brother found one of his cats, Macy, dead yesterday morning. Macy had an upper respiratory infection a couple of months ago, but it cleared up and there was no indication that anything was wrong. I feel bad for Stephen and Nicole, because when you don’t have kids, your worst fears are something happening to your parents, your siblings, or your pets. I still remember how awful it was to lose the parakeets I had before my current “flock,” and that was in 1996. You don’t forget that. I have to admit that, given Ollie’s situation, this bothered me a lot. People keep assuring me that Ollie will recover because he’s been fully diagnosed for all possibilities, but things like this tend to push your “freak out” buttons. Stephen and Nicole thought Macy was fine, and she woke up dead yesterday (not putting it gracefully, I know). I feel bad for them, and I’m trying to pray away my own anxieties over Ollie now. 

Fourth, our church finally has a new pastor under consideration. We’re voting on extending a call Sunday. All we have is basic information on them. No name – I guess they don’t want the younger members of the congregations to Google him and to vote based solely on qualifications. So there’s another transition stage coming to a close, we hope. It’s been over a year and a half since our pastor and associate pastor left, so this has been a longer transition than we expected. It seems that’s the name of the game these days – transitions lasting longer than usual. Problems, obstacles, etc etc etc. 

I’m optimistic that things will settle down into a good place. So positive, in fact, that I rejoined the Information Technology Committee again. I liked being more involved with the church, and I’ve missed not being on a committee this year. Now seems like a good time since my job is settling back to normal, Splinter is published, and we have a new pastor coming in that doesn’t have any preconceived notions or expectations of me or Rick. I’m not officially back “on” the committee until January, but that’s ok. It will be good to be back, and I believe the IT committee is of a magnitude that will fit into my life. I guess rejoining that committee would be a fifth thing that’s happened this week. 

Sixth, Dad’s birthday is tomorrow! I hope he has a great day. We’re doing an “official” celebration on Thanksgiving since he and Mom are planning a day trip to Charleston tomorrow, but I did see them for lunch today and gave him his presents.  It’s supposed to be a nice day tomorrow, and I hope they enjoy it. Happy birthday, Dad!

So yes, it’s been a crazy-busy week, but all for good because things are more or less settling and I’m seeing the fruits of my labors. I pray that the tide is turning. (Again, I’ve petitioned additional prayer power on this and it thankfully seems to be working so far). The relief I’ve felt over the progress of this week’s hard work has actually had me feeling almost human again, for the first time in nearly a year. I won’t lie – these past 12 months have been tough. Not as tough as the major transitions of 2010, but still tough and challenging in ways that tested and stretched me beyond what I believed to be my own capacity. It seemed awfully soon to have to face it too, after just settling in from so much before. But again, by the grace of God, I’m still standing. We all are. And that alone shows His hand on us to help and guide everybody affected by all of this transition and change this past year. We survived. We’re moving forward. We’re thriving. Thanks be to God. 

Yes, I’m relieved. More relieved that I have been in a long time. As I say in the closing line of Splinter, it’s a good day to be alive. 

That’s all today. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend. 

Bye!

I had a good surprise last night - Splinter was published through Whiskey Creek Press yesterday! I'm so happy! Three and a half years in the making, and it's finally here! Hooray!

It looks like Splinter is up at Whiskey Creek Press and on Amazon now. Barnes & Noble is typically a bit slower, but hopefully it will be posted there soon.

This was a nice surprise. Much better than the one I had Thursday when my car started smoking when I got back from lunch! Those are the kinds of surprises I usually get. When people say "I have a surprise for you," my stomach knots up because it's usually good for them and bad for me. Recent surprises that I've been the recipient of are a wasp sting that reacted VERY BIG, two sick birds, Rick's obscure infection, catching every darn virus that goes around, my car smoking on the way back from my lunch break, break downs, melt downs, and the "I'm outta here" speeches that I've heard way too many of in the past year. So you can see why I'm skeptical of surprises, and so shocked when a good one comes my way. 

Anyway, go pick up your copy, and if you like it please leave a review on  Amazon or Goodreads. 

Thanks for supporting my writing, and I hope all of you have a great week. 

Bye! 

Hi all; I thought I'd give you a general update on what's happening in my corner of the world.

First, Splinter is coming out next week! I'm excited, of course, and will update you with buy links for the book as soon as they're available. It's only going to be available in ebook format. Lots of people ask me why, and the reason is that I have to pay to make it available in paperback, and frankly I never recup the costs of it. Almost all of my books sales are ebooks and the paperbacks just don't move, so I invest that money in promotion of the electronic version instead. If you'd like a sneak peek at Splinter, you can check out the short story I posted on ReadWave yesterday titled "Fractured". It's told from the point of view of Amelia Eaton, the doctor on Jovan I and Leigh Lybrand's best friend, and it gives a great setup to the novel because it hints at something important that happens about 18 months before Splinter opens. Go check it out - the story is only 800 words, and you can read it in less than 5 minutes.

If you were on social media Thursday, then you know my car broke down when I went out to lunch that day. What a story! I actually went out to pick up a Christmas gift I ordered for Rick. They tried to deliver it to the house, but unbeknownst to me, they sent it with a signature required, so when it arrived Wednesday and I wasn't there, they left a nice little card in the mailbox. So I already had to explain to Rick why the post office was trying to deliver a parcel to me, because he gets home before I do. I had to go to the post office Thursday to pick it up, or they were going to return it to the sender, which I didn't want, of course. I made it all the way to the post office (I didn't realize how far out in the boondocks the post office serving our zip code was!) and the car started smoking when I pulled back in the parking lot at work. I went in to tell my co-workers what was happening, and took it straight to a mechanic that set up shop about 2/10 of a mile from my house. The car started overheating on that ride, and I had to stop twice to rest the engine before it shut off. (Thank goodness my office is only about 3 miles from home). But thanks be to God, I made it. I walked home carrying my purse, work bag, and Rick's gift (which was bigger than I expected, but thank goodness not heavy). And also thankfully, nobody saw me walking  home, as it's a dirt road with little traffic from my house to that mechanic. It turns out that a valve in my radiator had a hole in it, and all of the antifreeze leaked out. They fixed it the same day, which was amazing, and I picked it up before work yesterday (they wanted it to sit overnight to make sure it didn't leak any more antifreeze). The car's doing fine now, but it relieved me of $281. To replace a $8 part, I might add.

Speaking of Rick, he did recover from the tissue infection in his cheek. It was a painful ordeal, and we're glad it's over. We still aren't sure how he got it. I surmise it has something to do with working in a middle school and handling all of those student and teacher iPads. People can be pretty nasty sometimes. We actually had a good weekend last weekend, because he felt better and we had a chance to have a "date day" for the first time in about a month. We went to the gun show, out to lunch, and to see Thor: The Dark World. We enjoyed it and it was great to have a chance to go out and do something fun together. But now he's down again, because he got a flu shot yesterday, and it has him feeling run down today. He hasn't had a flu shot in a few years, and it seems to have knocked him out this time. He can't seem to win. This should pass by tomorrow or Monday according to the paperwork they gave him.

Ollie is over his kidney infection, but it left him with nerve inflammation in his leg. Some days are better than others. I've bugged the vet about it several time and even took Ollie back because of it. The vet said it will get better in time, but inflammation takes a while to go down, and little Ollie seems to be a slow healer. Some days are better than others. I hate it because I can tell the leg is really bothering him sometimes. But he still sings, and plays, and he's eating very well. The vet said to try to get him to work that leg - a kind of "physical therapy" - and we're trying but again, some days are better than others. We all know that the changing weather isn't helping matters either, because I can tell it bugs him more when it's cold. Poor little fellow.

Christmas shopping is 80% done. I  know I won't finish before Thanksgiving, but that's okay because I think I can finish in early December with this rate of progress. I have to, because the workload at my job peaks in December. Along with a December 16th exam deadline, we also have everybody wanting to get licensed before the end of the year so they can start on projects at the beginning of the new year. It's insanity, and I've learned that I have to plan ahead to handle "the crush" if I want to keep from drowning. It can get overwhelming, between a heavy workload and your family and social life picking up for the holidays. Why every place I've worked seems to hit a "crunch time" between Thanksgiving and Christmas is beyond me - I guess it must be a trend no matter where you work. Things just get more active all around during the holidays. But thank God, I hope that planning ahead will keep me sane. I was so stressed and overwhelmed last holiday season that I was miserable and couldn't enjoy the holidays even when I was finally away from all the madness. I just couldn't seem to "wind down" from everything pounding on me, and I don't ever want to be in that place again. I'll err on the side of wisdom and take people snickering and calling me "anal" if it means I can keep an even keel once it all busts loose in a few weeks and actually be able to enjoy the season like we're supposed to.

And that reminds me to give you a follow up that I should have done a while ago. I know I said in July that I was having problems with being angry all the time and at so many people and situations because of the crazy amount of change since last  December. I wanted to let you know that I am feeling better and I think I'm making progress in this area. It's not easy to deal with anger. Of course, you have every right to be angry when people are making decisions that you have to pay the price for, but that doesn't give you justification to stay angry. That's putting yourself in a prison and, as I said in July, that's not the kind of person I want to be. I see now that sometimes people just make bad decisions, and whatever consequences you suffer for it, they suffer much more because they're in the middle of it. Periphery problems, as I was struggling with at the time, pass much faster than being in the dead center of the chaos. But another issue is that I also realize that I'm not the only one that was overwhelmed. Many people were, and some still are, but everybody is trying to get settled in a better place. I see intent to make progress and it's paid off in some ways already, so I'm content to hang in there and keep things moving in a right direction. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we're called to do, but it's possible through prayer. Moving on can be hard too, but again it's possible if you're willing to learn from the past and gain wisdom from all that you experience. I have heard that  more change may be on the way for me in the new year, and that's okay as well. I see some benefits to it and while I realize that a learning curve and adjustments might be on the horizon (again), I prayed over it and feel this is for ultimate good for me and many others. Nothing is definite, but I'll pass along more if and when it comes to pass.

I think the greatest thing I've come to learn over these past months as I worked through the anger issue is that I had an error in my own perception. I was in a rut for so many years at my old workplace, that I thought the "normal" state of being was just that - being in a groove. But that's not right. I've come to see that the constant change and state of flux I've seen over the past 3 years is actually the norm, and that 6 year rut was the exception. I've been working so long and hard to "get settled down," and now I realize that the proper state of life is actually change and constant motion. "Normal" is constant work and striving toward something better, to making the next steps and to moving ahead, not settling in a groove of the "same old same old" that slowly kills your soul. The happiness I thought I had in those days was nothing more than comfort of routine and fear of change, and I really had to be jolted to get out of that deceptive trap. Although I wouldn't relive that adjustment phase again for any amount of money or reward, I will say that I'm glad it happened, because my life is in a much better place, and the happiness I have now is based not on "comfort," but on faith and gratitude for a life that I finally realize is filled to overflowing with blessings. I had it backwards, and that's been part of my anger and adjustment problems to this big life change since 2010. That was a major revelation to me, and it helped me to start making steps in a positive direction in my own attitude and expectations of life.

So am I still going through with the big life evaluation and purge I planned for January 1? It doesn't look like I need to. I see where things fit now, and I also see the progress and change on the horizon that I was  hoping for.

Well, I think that's quite enough for one day. I hope you're all doing well. Take care, and have a great weekend.

Bye!

Hi all; I wanted to give you an update on what's going on with me, and why I haven't been updating quite as much  lately.

Life is always busy, but it seems we're battling infections in our home. You know that Zack (our male sun conure) had a sinus infection about a month ago, that Ollie got a kidney infection last week, and that I'm recovering from an infection myself. Well, Rick got extremely ill Thursday and went to the doctor. It turns out he has a tissue infection in his right cheek, and it's extremely painful. The doctor gave him an antibiotic for the infection, but nothing for the pain. He was hurting so badly that he couldn't sleep or even function, so there were more calls to the doctor yesterday. Finally, they called him in a painkiller. Problem is, Rick is pretty resistant to painkillers - so sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

On top of that, Ollie (our parakeet) was still limping around yesterday. He seemed better, but that leg was still obviously bothering him. So I had to do the schedule juggle of getting Rick's medicine and supplies and taking Ollie back to the vet for his follow up. It turns out that Ollie's infection is gone (thank God), but he still has inflammation in that leg nerve under his kidney. The vet gave him an anti-inflammatory shot and said to keep an eye on him over the weekend. He was doing better last night, so here's hoping one more illness is on the path to recovery.

Needless to say, I didn't make it to work yesterday. I always feel bad about being out, especially on a Friday because it just seems so suspicious. But it couldn't be helped. I was running from 8:30 until about 2 yesterday, and then there were things around the house that needed tending to. It was more active than a normal work day. In fact, I promised the co-worker that I called in to that I'd check my emails periodically throughout the day, but I didn't have a chance to do that during business hours - I just did it. Thankfully, it looks like I didn't miss much, at least through emails. And Fridays are usually slower days, so maybe I won't get pounded too hard when I get back to the office. Maybe.

If you're keeping count, that means that Chloe (our female sun conure) is the last hen standing. She'd the only one in this house that hasn't had an infection, and I pray fervently that she isn't touched by whatever it is that keep infecting us. I really have no idea why this is happening. We have the cleanest house in the county, perhaps the state, and we're careful to wash hands and pick up after ourselves. It's not like we live in a pigsty that should be breeding this mess.

And finally, on Splinter - it could be released any time between now and mid-month. I'll let you know when I hear more on that. But it won't be much longer. And I'll be grateful because frankly, I could desperately use some good news.

So that's why my updates and posts have been more rare, and hit and miss when they happen. Life has just collapsed into nothing but problem solving and troubleshooting these days. Here's hoping this is a brief season and that it passes quickly so we can get back to living and enjoying life.

That's all today. Take care and have a great weekend.

Bye!

As a writer, I often find myself pondering what kind of stories this season of my life will inspire. When I started writing, I usually had to ponder things before they inspired stories, but in the past few years I’ve found myself writing on events both as I experienced them, as in reflecting on them once things are resolved. Ten years ago, one major event spawned one book, and maybe a few short stories, and that was months after it was resolved. Now, I could well write two or three novels based on one event seen from two or three different perspectives. I can tell you when the change happened too – it happened in 2010 when I wrote Splinter during National Novel Writing Month.  I was going through major life transitions personally (my in-laws moved from 100 miles away to the house next door, between us and my parents) and professionally (my job got transferred to a different department). Life as I knew it was basically destroyed, and I had to pick up the pieces and figure out how to put them back together in a better life, or at least a life that worked out for me and Rick. It wasn’t easy and there were many challenges. So if you ask how I could possibly stomach destroying the entire planet and writing a novel about how the survivors cope, well, the world as I knew it was destroyed, and I had to learn how to live again.  

That being said, I didn’t write Splinter to get back at anybody, or to air any dirty laundry. It is it’s own story that (somewhat) parallels my personal journey. Things have obviously settled, thanks in large part to a dedication to reach best ends and common goals on many parts. These events didn't just affect me, they affected a lot of other people as well. A lot of worlds were changed at that time, and I learned as much from watching others navigate this season of transition as I learned about myself. Change has a way of drawing things out that we don't realize, in ourselves and others.

It’s interesting to see this change in myself, and I hope it’s a demonstration of maturity as a writer, or even as a person. I know that tough season I faced three years ago caused me to re-evaluate how I deal with change and stress. I think that, in processing things, I turned to writing about the big, overriding issues to get a “big picture” perspective. I realize this isn’t exactly what mental health professionals mean by “writing out your problems.” I know they mean journaling, and writing in forms that only you see. But I don’t know. Straight out journaling seemed to make me feel worse by dwelling on and recounting on the things, people, and issues troubling me, but working on Splinter gave me comfort in creating a world where I could work it out without having to relive everything over and over. If the fictional account is something that readers enjoy and they find inspiration for pondering their own issues, then so much the better. Whiskey Creek Press did give me a publication contract for Splinter, after all, so it must touch on issues they felt would resonate and entertain readers.  

At any rate, I shredded the journals and Splinter is getting published. You be the judge about which was the more effective way. 

I do hope that Splinter entertains and inspires many readers when it’s released in 9 days. But more than that, I’m glad that the season of my life that gave birth to it has led to a better life for me and Rick, and given readers everywhere something they can enjoy (and maybe find some items to ponder in their own life) from now on. I also hope that whatever work this season of life inspires will do the same. 

That’s all today. Have a great rest of the week. 

Bye!

My previous entry brings about another interesting point to ponder: When the going gets tough, how do you cope? Somebody on social media asked the question last week: how do you cope when faced with disappointment? She was doing research for a writing project and was interested to see how people deal with this issue. I replied quite honestly: prayer, and two shots of whiskey. Divide and conquer. I lift it up for spiritual help, and then reboot my brain. That’s what the 2 shots of whiskey do. They break the single-minded focus on the problem and forces me to focus on “right now” and reboot my personal system. But only try that at home. And frankly, I’m not sure that’s a reasonable cure for everybody. It could, in fact, be a very bad idea for a great many people.

The truth is that it was a simplified response anyway. Prayer and meditation on what’s right and asking for spiritual guidance are, of course, what we’re supposed to do. But answers rarely come immediately, and so you are usually forced to wait, to adapt, to adjust, to acclimate to things before the horizon clears enough to know what comes next. Working out these “boogums” (as I like to call them) is usually where my writing comes in. Weaving fictional stories around similar questions, situations, and issues helps me to look at things from a wider perspective. When you create the world, then you must look at it from the viewpoint of every character, and not just one. This usually gives rise to a clarity and perspective on my own life that I wouldn’t find trapped alone in my own mind. This is why I often tell people that I believe having a hobby is imperative. Engaging in something you enjoy for no reason other than recreation widens your lens and helps you see the world (and situations) in a better light. 

So maybe a more accurate response to that inquiry would have been prayer (to lift it up), 2 shots of whiskey (to ‘reboot my brain’) and writing (to reset my brain and see the world clearer). Or maybe the writing is really the reboot, because that's where the view of the bigger picture comes into focus. Somewhat, anyway.

We all face times – and sometimes, even entire seasons of life – where people, things or circumstances gang up on us and pummel us to death. How do you cope with it? Do you turn to your faith? Do you get angry? Upset? Depressed? Do you withdraw from the world? Do you find another place to immerse yourself where you can find comfort? We all have a natural response to trials, and I believe it’s beneficial to notice what it is and how you cope. People will tell you there are right and wrong ways to deal with things, but I think that most things fall into shades of grey. I believe the most important question isn’t so much right or wrong as it is, what’s most effective and beneficial to navigating this time or season in your life? What’s right varies from person to person and situation to situation. You need to know what speaks best to your soul and guides you in the best direction this one time. 

More good and significant ponderings to set you off on your weekend. I hope these past 2 entries have been helpful in steering you to thinking about how life’s trials affect you, and how you respond. 

Have a Happy Friday and a great weekend. 

Bye!

Is the world worth saving? Take a look around.

It's no secret that Rick and I have been rather frustrated for the past week. People haven't been at their best, and we've done a lot of consulting with our inner circle in navigating through it. As I was taking my walk today, I found myself pondering the question that was the catalyst for Splinter over 3 years ago: Is the world worth saving? Take a look around. For every beautiful thing you see, there's an ugly counterpart in the shadows. And sometimes those shadows take over. Difficult people and tough times can make you feel isolated, but the truth is that it's something we all go through, and we all have times when we think: to hell with it all. Let it burn. I went through an entire season of life like that, which gave rise to this book. I spent six months figuring out how to kill the world and everybody in it - and pondering whether it was worth saving at any cost. And if you find that disturbing, remember that a publisher picked up this book, so obviously I'm not alone in these ponderings. In fact, I believe they're universal questions.

It's not flattering, but it's true. In fact, I think it's perfectly natural to question whether it's all worth it. From a Judeo-Christian perspective, we know that Christ died to save people, but in the end, the world will burn. The Bible is explicitly clear that people will be saved, but a New Heaven and a New Earth will come after the current one is destroyed - and destroyed magnicifiantly, according to the study our Sunday School class is doing on the Book of Revelation. And if you aren't the religious type, then consider this: the sun will go nova one day. It will flame up, consume the planet, and die itself. Whether you're a person of faith or not, it's all going down one day. So is it worth it to put up with the irritations and aggrivations to help and preserve it? 

It's a natural question, and I believe there's no right answer because the answer will shift according to our perspective. People will aggravate you. It's going to happen. It's true that people can change, but that's not the question - it's will they change, and too often the answer is no. Often enough that we come to the point of giving up on them. And you can forgive them, but still give up on them. People can wear you out. I can testify to that, and often. I read something last week that said evil exist because people exist, and since God doesn't want to eliminate free will then he'd have to eliminate humanity to get rid of evil - and He loves us too much to do that. I know many arguments could be posed on this issue alone, but suffice it to say I mention it to testify to a simple fact: People suck. Every one of us. Even the person of faith struggles with the ebb and flow of good and bad in the soul, and we don't always win the battles. When does it come to a point where we give up and say that's it, I can't take it any more and I have no hope of positive change - and walk away? I think my latest novel, Move, addressed the issue of whether people are worth saving and when you get to the point of giving up well.

Things and circumstances can also aggravate you, too. Sometimes people cause the situations and sometimes it's what I like to refer to as the "random crap of life." Bad things happen. It rains on the just and the unjust alike, as The Bible says, and we have to deal with it. Even our best efforts can fail and things can go bad, or wrong, or completely to hell. It's the imperfect nature of the universe showing itself, and it can do that magnicifantly too. We get tired of going around the same mountains, of struggling with the same problems, of butting our heads and kicking and screaming against the old thing on a different day and wondering what the point is, and why we can't overcome it or find victory for once and for all? It's easy to say, to hell with it, things won't change. Sure, the law of undulation makes this impossible. Life is a series of ups and downs. Much like the ebb and flow of the soul, so do the circumstances of life. Will things go up? Absolutely yes, but they'll also go back down. Nothing ever stays the same. It's  natural to wish the highs were longer seasons and the lows and building times were shorter seasons but alas, it's often the other way around. Reaping a harvest takes time, and sometimes we get so frustrated with the working/waiting cycle that we wonder if it's all worth it, if it's sure to fade away eventually.

I've been accused of being too "post modern" in my thinking on these things, but I'm not backing down because I feel this is truth. It's natural to have doubts about ourselves, other people, and the world we live in. To deny that is to deceive ourselves, and I feel it's better to face it. I think that Splinter faces these issues head on by showing you one woman's journey through faith, doubt, and back to belief in a new set of convictions.

Are people worth saving? It's been done, but how far does your belief go? Check out Move and think over your own convictions.

Is the world worth saving? Take a look around, and join the debate when Splinter is released on November 1st.

That's all today. Have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

An interesting thing happened the past few days as I've worked on edits to prepare Splinter for publication. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I modeled the protagonist, Leigh Lorene Lybrand, after my maternal grandmother, Lorene Shull Lybrand. She passed away when I was 12 years old, and was a huge influence on me growing up. Lybrand was a very common name in our area, but thanks to too many generations of girls and, to put it tactfully, decreasing reproduction, the name is dying out (along with Shull, and some others that were quite common around these parts "back in the day"). I thought it would be a good thing to keep the Lybrand's alive, at least through my writing. Plus, it's not like she's going to sue me.

But in doing these edits, I realized it's not likely that she would even if she were alive because I realized, to my utter shock, that she's not Leigh Lybrand. She's not even like me. I don't know WHO that geophysicist is that I shot off to the moons of Jupiter on the eve of Earth's destruction but one things for certain - it's not who I planned for it to be.

At first I tried to say well, it's faulty memory. Nana died 25 years ago this year, and I'm sure that the natural degradation of memory has taken it's toll on my own grey matter. But the truth is that I wasn't satisfied with that explanation, and the reason came to be in a bolt of realization at 1 a.m. I realized: I changed the setting. I don't have that character in 20th century Earth, where she spent her entire life. I projected her 1,000 years into the future, into a 31st century reality that I created. There's no way that the grandmother I knew could be the same person in the future I envision. People change over time. We learn more about the world and the reality surrounding us, and it reshapes us. Think about it: vampires were born in the Middle Ages where disease was a mystery and royality in "darker places" in the world had strange fetishes. Now, they're glittery twerps trying to fit in a world that has explained the truth behind their origin and purged their purpose in the human mind. We've learned; we've grown; we've lost our fears. Or rather, I'd say we've replaced our fears with other things we don't understand. I think more people fear the mysteries that motivate government than communicable disease these days. It's consipiracy theories, mysteries, and how we plot against one another. And if that isn't your thing, then there's the increasing popularity of sci-fi, because we still don't know what's "out there," and can use our noodle to ponder the possibilities, if not in this day and time then in the future.

Nothing stays the same and as a result, people don't stay the same. I think Nana could have been a geophysicists in the Jovan system, had she been born 10 centuries later. Perhaps I could have been one of the engineers on her team, if I were there too. As it is, we are a product of the world we live in. Nana would turn in her grave if she knew I had been on an airplane and flown cross country twice. She's have turned again if she knew that Mom and Dad actually got on the plane with me one time - of their own free will! Yes, my grandparents generation had a number of fears that seem silly to us, and the superstitions of my great-grandparents generation makes me laugh from time to time. But then again, I suppose my own cares and concerns would strike them as odd, if they were here to see it. Or maybe they'd share them. Who knows? We're put on this Earth at the time and place where we fit, and that's it.

Hmm, so maybe I did hit the mark. Maybe Leigh Lorene Lybrand is a perfect manifestation of the evolution of character that Nana would be in my envisioned future. You can decide for yourself when Splinter is released through Whiskey Creek Press in November. Stay tuned!

That's all today. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend.

Bye!

I'm a bit out of it. I've been in editing mode for about a week now - first, on revisions for Incursion and then I got back the edits for Splinter and I just finished my first run through with the editor on those. It's good work and I'm always glad to spruce up and clean up a manuscript, but the unfortunate side effect is that when you get immersed in the writing process at any stage, there's a hazard of getting, well, out of touch with the world. You miss things. For example, I've wandered around all day putting every date this week in stuff except August 14 on everything. I don't even know what day it is. And folks, I promise I haven't been drinking through this process - not in a few days at least!

Maybe a celebratory drink is in order today. I'm glad to have that done. I've also joined The Independent Author Network and they're working on my webpage now. I'll be sure to post it here once they're done. I put it off long enough. At first I thought it wasn't worth the $24.95 set up fee, but after I got into these edits for Splinter I thought, geeze, isn't it time? That's going to be my fourth major novel (not counting my 4 other novellas and shorter works I self-published). Obviously, I'm here to stay, and obviously, I like going the indie route. Why not? So I took it out of last quarter's royalities and off we go.

One unfortunate thing that threw me a bit behind was a cluster headache yesterday. I haven't had one of those in nearly 10 years! And frankly, I could go another 10 years without the next one and that would be a-o-kay with me! Those aren't pleasant. On the plus side, they pass quickly - usually in an hour or two. On the minus side, they hurt worse than a migrane, and you have to be careful for a day or two after it to make sure you don't over-exert yourself or it could come back. The Lord is with me, though, because it rained today and the weather cooled off about 20 degrees. Looks like the cool rain will stay a few days, so I'm hoping that eliminates the threat of a recurrence. I certainly hope so. We have friends coming to visit this weekend, and then next week starts what I call "the birthday bonanza." We have 3 birthdays in the family between August 20 and August 26 (Rick's is August 21 and mine is August 26). It's always a whirlwind time.

Well folks, I have to be frank and say that between book edits and work, I've had about enough of being on the computer. So I'm off. Take care, and I hope you have a great rest of the week. I promise I'll wear my watch with the date on it for the rest of the week so I'm not such a goof saying "what day is it?" any more this week. Nobody needs that.

Bye!