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By SherritheWriter
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Paradigm Shifts

8/26/2013

 
On this, my 38th birthday, I find my self pondering the progress of the past year. I suppose this is a natural thing to do on a birthday. On first glance it could seem disappointing, as there are no "major" changes to report, but that's actually deceptive. There have been changes in the past year, but they've been more in the way of "shifts" instead of what could be clearly defined as "changed." I suppose this sounds somewhat elusive, so of course I'm going to explain.

The progress of the past year has actually been more in the way of building on things that have already been in motion. While it doesn't seem that much has changed - after all, life is progressing along very much the same today as it was a year ago - I can't say that I think about or feel the way that I did about life as I did one, two, or five years ago. In fact, as I ponder it, I notice that my paradigm has shifted quite a bit in the last 4 years. I suppose this is natural. My job changed and I finally broke into publication with my writing in 2010 - 2011, and while these things are "the norm" in my life right now, I see how incorporating those changes into my life has changed my view of life and the world. My basic morals haven't changed. That's not something that's likely to change. But the way you see the world around you and apply those morals can change, and I'm starting to see the evidence that it's happened. When you walk in faith long enough, you delve deeper into things, and that's certainly what's happened to me.

So how have I changed? For one, I'm seeing a whole new application of the concept of "reaping and sowing," as described in Galatians 6:7. You all know that this is one thing that my grandfather was a big believer in, and I took it to heart. But this verse applies to more than just relationships with other people and how you treat them - it also applies to progress and purpose in life. In fact, if you shift two more verses you'll read that "in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) After several years of hard work to re-establish myself professionally in my current workplace and to get my writing established, I see the value of patience in all that we do. If life really is a series of ups and downs, reaping and sowing, then that has big implications for all of life. If we choose to only allow ourselves to be happy on the mountaintop, when we're reaping the rewards of our labors, then we're guaranteed to be miserable (or at least, withholding our own happiness) at least 50% of our life. Folks, that just isn't acceptable to me. That's not going to do it. Sure, there are some people that enjoy being miserable and whining and complaining to get attention, but that's not the way I choose.

I know from experience that there are blessings in every day because I've been through the major life changes when I looked back and realized that there were little blessings that I took for granted, and I was sorry for it. An example: before my writing was published, I used to do counted cross stitching and wrote short stories. Much to my surprise, I find that I have very little time for that now, between promoting my published works and creating new ones. I love my writing and pray daily that it will continue to grow and reach more people - in fact, I'm prayerfully striving to make a break into science fiction with Splinter this fall - but there are some days when I miss having the time to cross stitch, or to goof off on Writing.com with short story contests. I didn't realize how much time these things filled in my life until my writing grew to the point where I had to make decisions about what stayed and what went. I still stitch occasionally, but large projects are out now. And as for short stories, they take me longer to write, prepare, and complete than they once did. And ditto for the work move. I was glad to make it and still believe it was the best, but I didn't realize the little things I took for granted, like talking to a couple of my friends when things got slow, the great walking paths on the State House grounds, a covered parking spot or those outstanding subs for a great price on Tuesdays and Fridays. Yes, I've gained a lot through both changes. I wouldn't undo either of them or the world because I gained a lot more than I lost. But I did learn to not despise the small things, and to appreciate the small blessings that go with each day as well as the big things we work so hard to cultivate and grow in our lives.

Some people say this means to "enjoy the journey on the way to where you go," but I think there's a deeper meaning than that. A devotion I read recently said, "God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to do what's right." That really hit me and helped me to get a grasp on my own paradigm shift. I used to think that the point was about being happy, and I actually worried for a little while, wondering if I'd ever be happy like I was before. I see now that I won't, because happy is a side effect. The purpose of life is not to serve our feelings, but to do what we're supposed to be doing and work hard to do what's right for our purpose in life. If you are faithful in well doing and obedient to the spirit, there's a contentment to your life that nothing - situations, circumstances, or other people and their attitudes (because that really reflects on them more than anything else, but that's a pondering for another entry) - can affect. You can rest in knowing that you're doing all you can, and that allows you to enjoy the blessings of every day, large or small. And contentment is better than happiness. It's more stable, because you can still see the blessing in what you have even if a thousand aggravations are bleeding out of them. It's built on a firmer foundation that gives you the patience to hold out for the "bigger picture" even if you don't understand what the point is (as is often the case). It's built on a trust between you and the Lord and nobody else can put their hands on it. And that can give you the courage to do what's right, even in the face of ridicule, opposition, or doubt. Happiness is transient and comes and goes with circumstances. Contentment is faith in action.

No, the earth hasn't moved in the last year. Things look much the same today as they do every other day. But I know they aren't. I see how the work at the everyday levels is building to something new and better. I might not know what yet, but when it is revealed then I'll reap a reward in due season, and be glad I didn't lose heart.

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

Boom!

7/14/2013

 
Picture
First, I shall deal with the pink elephant in the room - the George Zimmerman "not guilty" verdict. I have an opinion on it and, as with all opinions, 50% of you will agree and 50% will not agree. So here it is:

I believe there was reasonable doubt in the state's case, and the jury refused to allow the media, the State, and even the President tell them they didn't have a right to have that reasonable doubt. At the core, this case wasn't about race (although it was made to be a factor, and anybody that says it's wasn't is nuttier than Chinese chicken salad). It also wasn't about race, or about the right to have a CWP and use it (although that, too, was a forced factor). Zimmerman never denied killing Martin. The question was whether Zimmerman was justified in using the force he used in that fight. The jury spent over 16 grueling hours debating it, and in the end they just couldn't determine without any question or doubt that Zimmerman wasn't under threat of great bodily harm.

I'll go on to say this: I work in administrative law with my job in professional licensing, and for all of you that say "but the law is the law!" you're right, and you're wrong. The law IS the law, BUT it's also open to interpretation given the evidence and facts presented. It's extremely difficult to ferret out what it means in each given situation, and for a layperson that doesn't work in matters of the law every day, that's a hard thing do to. Law isn't written in plain English, and "legalese" isn't easy to discern. Those poor juries need somebody in the room with them to interpret what the actual consequences they ponder are, and they don't have it. They're left to sort it out on their own in that room, and to come out with a decision that's going to affect one or many lives. It's no easy task. Remember that a jury of your peers isn't lawyers or experts on law. They're regular people with jobs and lives that said "oh crap" when that summons arrived in the mail, because they knew they were being plunged into a world they know nothing about. They're intimidated by all that's thrown at them and being told to make decisions that will affect other peoples' lives forever after they walk out of that room and go back to their lives. 

To Zimmerman and the jury, I say this: be quiet. Don't talk. People will want your story and it will be tempting to tell it, but given the highly emotional nature of this case, just stay out of it. Keep you head low.

To the media, I say this: smack. It's about time somebody punched you in the face and told you that you don't have a right to make public policy. You got our President elected twice and have forced how much more down our throats by controlling the indecisive. As one that thinks for herself, I'm glad to see you with this black eye. You too need to shut up and go back to being impartial and reporting it "as it is," like you are supposed to do.

Oh, but the fallout. There will be fallout and this is the part I dread. And, if it's anything like the O.J. Simpson case, it will go on for some time. Lord help us all. This particular case is over (no doubt, civil cases will be brought forward now), but the rest of the story is just beginning. God help us all.

Personally, I've really had too much else going on to pay much attention to this case. You know of all the transition at work that's been rocking our world. Well, two of my colleagues are having some health issues, and now we're just praying that we get through this. Honestly, what can we do? We go in each day and do what we can to keep this machine rolling along the bumpy road we're on, hoping and praying that we'll find smoother paths ahead. I have no doubt we will, but it's getting through that's tough.

And you'd think the weekends would be relief, but not this time. Came home from running errands yesterday and there was a dead cat in the road in front of our house. It was Mom's cat, Little Bit. She "adopted" one of the feral cats about a year ago and named him that because he was the runt of the litter, but he grew into a big cat. That cat never really liked me and of course, he got hit in front of my house. So naturally, she's quite upset. Losing a pet is always tough. I helped Dad and Stephen (my brother) bury it. I don't know when it happened. I put our Netflix in the mailbox at 10:30 and didn't see him. We didn't hear anything, but we're pretty far back from the road so we probably wouldn't.

Add to that, our Internet is still spotty at times and they have to come back to "tweak" something with our router. Got an email yesterday that they're coming today, so there went going to church since their "zone" overlaps with that. I really needed church today. Rick's ear and sinuses are bothering him (no doubt, allergy problems from all of this rain, which is causing mold), my acid reflux is giving me fits (no doubt, it's the stress), and we can't get it together. Thank God for getting us through each day, but the aggravations keep mounting. Oh, I've seen worse. I won't call this a "year of hell," but it hasn't been unicorns and rainbows either. I just pray we survive the challenges and make it through.

And we will. I'm down, but not out. This isn't by far the worse I've seen. If I put in into perspective, I'd call this growing pains into what I'm sure is the road to better days and more stability ahead. I'm not broken, not by a long shot. I'm going to hand in there. The Lord's mercies are new every morning and that's what keeps me going, knowing that a better day could be just around the corner. I haven't come this far to be defeated, and I won't give up.

So I'm going to log off. I'm going to make breakfast. I'm going to go to the grocery store, start revisions on Incursion, take care of my home and birds, get on the treadmill, and maybe cross stitch. Tomorrow, I'll work on revisions to Incursion while the termite inspector gives us another 5 year treatment and will go to work when it's done and do what I can. And each day after, I'll take them one at a time, just like this. Maybe if I do that, each day will suck a little less until eventually, finally, we're at better days. Because I fully believe we are on the path to better days. The bumpier the transition, the better the prize. That's my hope. I know the good stuff is coming, if we keep the faith and don't lose heart on the path to get there.

That all, folks. Take care, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and have a good start to the new week.

Bye!

Damage Done

10/15/2012

 
I had a mixed bag weekend – some good, some bad, some ups, and some stuff that outright pissed me off. But hey, no need to rehash, right? Instead I’ll offer some random musings from the weekend, and beyond (specifically, today). 

To my friends in real life and online, I say thanks for your kindness and patience. You know that Rick and I have been adjusting to changes in our jobs and that’s always challenging. We’ve needed an extra measure of grace and patience and you have been a blessing to us with your grace and kindness. God bless you for sticking it out. May I show the same grace, kindness and mercy to you in your hour of need. If by chance I don’t, kick me in the rear and remind me. Really, sometimes I can get so absorbed into home/family/work/life that I miss things that are happening right next to me, so jab me with an elbow every now and then if I wander off for too long. 

To those that have been getting in touch with their inner jerk and have shown us no such patience or understanding and have  kept right on demanding and being their bad selves, thank for feeding my muse.
I was stuck on amping up “show don’t tell” spirits in Move and thanks be to God, now I know exactly how to fix this up right. So thanks. Oh come on, I’m a writer! Please, don’t act surprised. Fiction comes from reality folks – if you didn’t know that then welcome to an uncomfortable truth. All writers do it. And be glad, because revenge turns nasty. You should be glad writers will channel it to their muse instead of taking it into reality. Because reality beats you bad enough. No need to help it out.

 Actions have consequences, you know, and I’m out of the business of trying to protect people from them. I try to help and support others, but if you say “praise the Lord! God bless you!” and then you lie, or you’re rude, you
try to manipulate people through guilt or favors, or you belittle or try to shame people, then nobody can hear the praise coming out of your mouth because they’re too busy gawking at the devil riding you like Harry Potter rides a broom during a Quiddish match. I shared a musing on Twitter yesterday about how somebody talked about giving, then criticized others that were trying to help them for not doing good enough. Here’s the response I got:

Six day sinners; one day saints. 

Ouch. But you know what? My agnostic friend is right. I can’t defend that. I had to say yep, you’re right. Just play-acting and no real fruit of the spirit there.

By the way, folks, that’s an easy litmus test to see if somebody is acting in true faith or if it’s nothing but “eternity’s fire insurance.” Look for the fruits of the Spirit in their life as described in Galatians 5:22 which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Obviously nobody
has all of these in abundance in their life and there are areas where we all struggle, but you should see more there than missing in these qualities if they have a true, Spirit based life. 

Personally, it’s gentleness that I struggle with. I just want to kick everything in the rear until it gets in order. I have a low tolerance for crap and shenanagins and don’t want to waste my time playing games and messing
around when it’s more efficient to just do things right the first time. But that’s just me. 

But back to my point – if a person is singing praises all day but they’re always frantic and struggling with
problems and are in turmoil and conflict, well, there’s your sign. Likewise if nothing’s ever good enough. We all have problems and sometimes it’s easier to deal with them than others. We all need grace from time to time. It’s when it becomes a constant cycle of drama that it might behoove you to tread carefully. Or run like hell. It depends on the person and the situation.

Well, now I know. Once again, those that are true are confirmed and the rotten fruit started to stink. It happens from time to time. Such is the nature of life. What can you do? Take the lesson, make wise decisions, and move on.   

I'll admit that I'm frustrated. I'm tired, I'm aggrivated, and my patience is pretty much shot - and Rick's in the same place I am because we've faced the same things here and he shares my sentiments. Right now, the less people ask of us, the better.The ones that don't add to our load right now with invitations, "hey, how about we schedulethis or that"  and "please help!" will win our respect and our good graces the fastest because we're up to our eyeballs and trying to keep our heads above water right now, and we really don't need an anchor thrown at us.  The good friends I described above are being respectful of that, and I so appreciate them. You know who you are because I've given you mentions and shout outs on social media. If others wonder how people wound out on that list, well, this is how. Again, not rocket science.

As for the rest, the damage is done and now there's nothing for it but to clean it up and move on. I’m grateful for what’s true and have corrected what slipped out of line. And I got a heck of a boost to my muse too. Heh heh heh. 

That’s all for today. More later. Enjoy this video by my favorite band.

Bye!

Is It Well With My Soul? No, Not Really

9/1/2011

 
I hate that song "When Peace Flows Like a River." It's a filthy lie.

I suppose that statement deserves an explanation, so here it is: I went to a funeral for a friend yesterday that died from cancer. It's the third friend I've lost to cancer in 18 months. To say I hope I never see the face of this ugly beast again would be an understatement.

Anyway, they seem to love this hymn at funerals. There's just one problem: No, it's not well with my soul. I don't understand why three people I know had to suffer like this. They were good people. They wanted to live. It seems so unfair that their lives were cut short when I look around and see people that don't appreciate a thing - or that play hard and fast, like they don't care about putting themselves or others in danger - and they keep going on and on. 

I hate that hymn because it's arrogant and it's a lie. Are you ok with anything that happens? Life can whollop you and it's just "well, praise God and glory be." No folks, not in the real world. Real people get frustrated. Real people get angry. Real people are confused and hurt and don't understand. I'll admit that I'm a real person and my soul's got problems. I don't get it. In fact, there's a lot I don't get.

Another reason I don't like this song is because it implies that faith means never questioning anything - just blind acceptance. You can reason out everything, even if the reason is simply "it's God's will." While that is true, and I suppose it all does boil down to that, it's been my experience that human beings aren't that simplistic. We do try to understand. We do ask questions. We do get frustrated and angry in our confusion and lack of understanding. It is through these struggles that we find what faith really is: Not a lack of questions, but an acceptance that we won't have most of the answers. That in the grand scheme of things it does make sense, and being ok with the fact that only God may know how it fits into that scheme. And most importantly, to realize that it's ok to not have the answers or to work through whatever processes we need to work through to get to this acceptance.

That's where I'm at. My soul does hurt, and it's confused. I know all three of them are at peace now, and that there's a greater plan that I won't see this side of Heaven. Intellecutally, it's there. Emotionally, I'm still on the journey to that point. I miss them and those absences do hurt. It's hard to remember that they won't walk through that door at church Sunday morning any more, that they won't be at that committee function or in Sunday School or passing by at functions with their cheerful smiles. The reality that they're gone and never coming back is still stinging. And I don't think there's a thing wrong with that sting. It means I feel. It means I'm still human. It means I'm still alive.

So no, it's not well with my soul, and I'm ok with admitting that. My soul is hurt and it needs to heal. I know the truth and accept it, but I'm just going to have to work through that process to get these pesky emotions at that same level. And I don't think I'm alone. Many others are on that same journey. I have plenty of company on this road. My comfort is that tomorrow is a new day. New mercies every morning. Great is thy faithfulness.

Now that's one I can live with.

That's all today. Happy Friday to you tomorrow.

Bye!

    Escape Reality

    By day, I'm a program assistant. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction offers an escape from the reality of day-to-day life. See how my experiences lead to creating new worlds! 

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