I'm happy to report that my sinus infection is clearing up, and I've even managed to resist the red meat binge. One strange thing about getting sick isn't the obvious symptoms, but the strange symptoms that let you know without a shadow of a doubt that you're sick. It's the overwhelming desire for red meat that usually tips me off. Don't get me wrong - I love red meat - but when the entire rack at the grocery store starts to look really good, I know the bacteria is winning. Another is the desire to watch entire seasons of my favorite TV shows. Binging seems to be one of the strange symptoms I get when I'm sick. 

One good thing about all of this rest is that I have an idea for my next writing project. You know the alien invasion that I'm always joking about on social media? Well, I saw Edge of Tomorrow over the weekend and thought heck, why not write my own version of the alien invasion? It's a big idea but heck, why not? So I'm going sci-fi next time, much to the relief of everybody getting jittery of my paranormal mysteries. I'll finish Obsidian first, but I can brainstorm and research this and be ready to go with it later this year, or early next year. We'll see how it goes.I love sci-fi, and the concept of writing a trilogy makes me very happy. 

So did you hear that Queen Elizabeth II visited the set of Game of Thrones? Oh, how I wish she would have had her picture in the Iron Throne. That would have been awesome. But she respectfully declined. I bet that was a great visit. 

And in closing, we're celebrating an "invisible birthday." 4 years ago today, Rick brought home an adorable green and yellow parakeet with a gift of song that lit up our lives. We thought we'd have 15 years with him; instead, we had three and a half. Life's like that, I guess, but we can still celebrate him today. So Happy Birthday, Oliver! We hope you're having a great birthday in Heaven. Here's a song that always inspired you to song. 

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week. 

Bye!

People weren't on their best behavior last week. I don't know if it was the imaginary Memorial Day deadline that people set for themselves to get stuff done at the last minute so they could take the weekend off, spring fever, or just an inability to exercise self control, but whatever the case, humanity wasn't at it's best in my corner of the world. 

I could rant. I could post a "shame on you" entry that would have people blushing and meekly putting on their manners (finally) for the next week. I could stick it to you. But instead, in the spirit of trying to take on a better, more positive mindset, I'm taking a different approach. I'm saying thank you. Yes, thank you for being a jerk, for when you are a jerk, you feed my muse immensely. Real life inspiration does more for character and plot development than any of the other "get out of writer's block" tips they have out there. 

So to all the people that had the nerve to tell me to grow up/get a grip/it's gonna be ok/get your sh** together when I was having problems, and now they aren't heeding their own advice,

To all the people that got pissy with me when I tried to help them,

To all the people that asked questions and then threw fits over the answers,

To all the lazy people that spent more time making excuses than doing what they were supposed to do,

To the ones that snap "no" to us and then whine, scream, and cry when we say "no" to them just as fast, 

To the complainers,

To the whiners,

To the bad drivers,

To the bad attitudes,

To the co-dependents,

Thank you for feeding my muse. While you explain why the devil made you do it, I'll be making money off your inspiration. So thank you. 

And before you give me the "but you have to understand!" speech, stop. You don't tell me what to think. That privilege was gone 20 years ago, when I turned 18. I'm an adult. And if you don't have to listen to me, I don't have to listen to you.

Furthermore, if you thought I was weak over losing Ollie and all the medical and other drama with Rick's family, you thought wrong. Upset means I'm a decent enough person to care, not a weakling to be run all over. I buried a dead cat yesterday, right after supper, on a full stomach, without batting an eye. I knew that cat, too. He got hit by a car, and I was sorry he died, but I did what had to be done and it didn't break me - just like the rest of this hasn't. I'm not broken. This resistance is making me stronger. I have my crap together, thank you very much, and I'm ready to kick some a** now. 

Honestly, I'm surprised that people are bold enough to act the way they do in front of a writer. But it's like Mom said - they don't think that way. They think they're an exception because they're special. They don't wonder for a minute where the inspiration comes from, until the book is released. And then, well, I wouldn't dare, would I? 

I'll leave you to ponder that. 

That's all today. Thanks to all who serve our country this Memorial Day weekend. Have a good one. 

Bye!

What are the best gifts you’ve received that weren’t “big ticket” items? I’m not talking about jewelry, technology, electronics, or other fancy purchases like high end clothes (or cars!). I mean the small stuff that you found to be valuable.

The world is really putting on the ritz now, and everybody has their best stuff out. The problem is; we can’t spend as much as we’d like on gift giving. Budgets are an ugly reality in this economy that won’t seem to rebound. The good news is that great  gifts don’t have to break the bank, and it’s possible to get friends, neighbors, colleagues and others wonderful, thoughtful gifts that they will appreciate and use on a daily basis. While candy seems to be a usual default, well, there’s plenty of that. If you want to get something unique, here are a few ideas for friends, neighbors, colleagues, or others on your gift list that you want to buy for, but don’t know how:

1. Books, movies, or TV series on DVD. Great variety and wonderful entertainment for the cold months when it’s great to stay at home, or to take on mobile devices when you’re on the go.
   
   
2. Weather radios. I absolutely love ours.  I listen to it every morning while I do hair and makeup. This is something that everybody should have in their home. You can get them in a variety of styles and designs, from simple radios to the fancier ones that you can set with a county code to give you weather alerts. If you know somebody that doesn’t have a weather radio, get them one for Christmas this year. Don’t forget the battery for the backup, too.
   
   
3. Computer accessories – especially laptop cooling mats, a wireless mouse, microfiber screen wipe cloths, or flash drives. If you know somebody that’s on their computer a lot, you can’t go wrong with these accessories. If you know somebody that uses their computer on a daily basis (especially a laptop), then they can definitely use these things. 
   
   
4. A firesafe box. This is something else that everybody should have in their house. Smaller ones aren’t too expensive, and it’s a great thing to keep important documents or valuables in.
   
   
5. A paper shredder. Again, they run in a variety of price ranges, but a small one isn’t very expensive and this is something that everybody can use.
   
   
6. Crock pots. These are a working person’s best friend, because you can put the ingredients in the pot before work, and have a meal ready when you get home. Little effort, little fuss, little mess. They come in a variety of sizes and aren’t very expensive.  In fact, Rick and I have gone through 2 of these in the 15 years we’ve been married.
   
   
7. Stress “squeeze” balls. These are great  for office workers or people that type a lot, because they’re the best way to relieve hand tension. They’re great novelty items too, because they come in a variety of sizes and designs.
   
   
8. Tervis Tumblers or other “thermo” style mugs. The world is overrun with Christmas coffee mugs this time of year, so step outside of the box and get them a thermo mug or, if your budget will allow, a Tervis Tumbler. My previous boss got us Tervis Tumblers last year, and I’ve used mine practically every day since. I can put my water in it when I get to work, and it’s still cold at the end of the day (if there’s any left). These are great because they can be used year-round for hot or cold beverages.
   
   
9. Study Bibles and/or Devotional Books. A Bible that details a year long reading plan is a great gift for church friends. If they already have one, there are plenty of year long devotional books on the market right now. If you aren’t sure of their religious preferences, Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy is a great women’s devotional. It was published in the mid 90’s, but the devotions on pursuing authenticity are still great and timely today.
   
   
10. Slipper socks. I raised my eyebrows a few years back when several co-workers gave these as gifts, but I use them during the winter all the time! They’re great (and were a real Godsend when I sprained my ankle a few years ago). Don’t underestimate this gift. They might not have a “wow” reaction to it at first, but they’ll say “wow” when they get home and try them.
    
    
11. Make up kits. These were a “big thing” to get teens and pre-teens back in the days before computers and iPods, and they’re great for adults too. Make up kits with eyeshadow, blusher, and lip gloss are a great gift because they offer a variety of make-up options, all in one. They’re great for traveling, too.
    
    
12. Gift subscriptions. Love your Netflix? Know somebody that also likes movies but hasn’t discovered it’s magic yet? Give them a trial membership. The same can go for magazines or other services that you think people might appreciate. I just urge you to keep one thing in mind: check with them to make sure it’s something they’d like, because this can easily become a “cop out” gift over time if you don’t communicate with the recipient to make sure it’s a gift that they WANT to keep on getting.
    
    
13.  Gift cards. There are some people that think gift cards are a “cop out” gift, but I think this actually shows that you trust and respect their judgment. Gift cards are a great way to allow people to gift themselves whenever and wherever they prefer, and it shows that you pay attention to their tastes and preferences. Even a $10 gift card to a store, restaurant, or movie theater that you know they like gives them the freedom to go out and enjoy life their own way. And if they’re on a tight budget, it gives them relief to get what they want or need without anxiety.
    
    
14. Electronic “pocket games.” If you need a White Elephant gift or something simple but fun, these are great. I still love the Yahtzee game that Rick stuck in my stocking 10 years ago, and I’ve seen variations on other games at discount stores. (Check the boys’ toy aisle if they don’t have them on a novelty shelf somewhere) Most of them run under $10. But be careful. You might cackle at it, but they can get addictive!
    
    
15. Sampler gift bags. The past couple of years, I made gift bags for my co-workers with sample items of products that I regularly use: hand lotion, lip gloss, a nail file, tweezers or small manicure scissors, shower gel, nail polish – just small things that I enjoy. Another co-worker did this, and she put in a pocket size flashlight in her bag. You can find lots of little sample items or small things to include in a sample bag, and you set the budget for it. Gather up some samples or small items that you enjoy, put them in a gift bag with some tissue paper, and you have a fun, practical gift that people will enjoy.
    
    

So there you have it – 15 tested, tried and true gift ideas for 2013. I hope this inspires some ideas of your own, and helps you with your own gift shopping.

Take care and have a great week.

Bye!

 

There are some phrases in widespread, common use that seem to be universal hot buttons to piss people off. Really, I don’t understand how it became commonplace for people to say things that erode the very respect that relationships are built on, and yet I hear people say it – and complain about having these things said to them – frequently. 

Certainly, we should always be honest and authentic in our dealings with people, but discernment is an absolute necessity in our dealings with ALL people. Just because it flies through your brain doesn’t mean it needs to fly out of your mouth, and in fact there are many times when it’s best to keep that thought in your head and fake it till you make it with your words (or silence, depending on the situation). For example, here are some phrases you should eliminate (or at least, drastically reduce) in your vocabulary that will garner more respect, motivate people to cooperate and work well with you, and make you appear more intelligent and savvy:

1.   “Whatever.” Nothing coveys the ignorant-inconsiderate-jerk trifecta like this one word phrase. You have the entire English language at your disposal and that’s all you’ve got? If it is, then it’s time to recognize the uncomfortable fact that sometimes, the best course of action is to gracefully back away and let silence be golden. And if you refuse to exercise the right to remain silent, then a simple “I hope that works out for you and wish you luck” is much more dignified than throwing out something that makes you look like a cross between an immature tween and a person that’s learning English as a second language -  and isn’t quite getting it.

2.    “Do what you’ve got to do.” I don’t hear this one as much as I used to, but it’s still out there, and it’s a sin for the same reasons as “whatever.” More accurately, that’s redneck for “I don’t like what you’re doing and would move Heaven and Earth to stop you, but that would reveal me as a selfish jerk to the rest of the world and I don’t want to do that, so go on and get this over with so you can get back to doing things that make me happy.” It isn’t your job to like or even understand everything that other people do, so let go and accept that people have a right to lead their lives, do things, and make decisions that work best for them regardless of what you say, think, or need. Instead, say “I understand this is important to you.” Even if you don’t and you hope it blows up in their face, just fake it and at least acknowledge their right to live as they see fit.  Because I guarantee you’ve done things that made them go “Hmmm” in the past . Plus,  if you want people to stay interested in your life, then you have to at least act like you give a crap about them and their life, even if you don’t care about them any more than you care about the extra 40 minutes in a Martian day. 

3.   “That’s not my problem.” I stand back when people say this because it’s an open invitation for the universe to hit you with its best shot, and that’s a challenge it ALWAYS accepts. Sure, you aren’t responsible for every single thing that happens in the world, and there are some things that aren’t your business, but have some dignity in declining to accept responsibility that you feel isn’t yours. “I’m sorry I can’t help you with that” is much more gracious and doesn’t invite fate, the universe, the world, or whatever you wish to call it to deliver an entirely new batch of problems into your life. Fake sympathy for the other persons’ plight even if you don’t really feel it because you WILL be at the receiving end of this one day, and the measure you get will be the measure you’ve given. It happens to us all.

4.  “You don’t really want that,” or “Stop wasting your time on that and do this instead.” Excuse me, when did God appoint you to His position, because that’s what it looks like you’re playing at with either variation of this. You have no way of knowing what’s in other peoples’ hearts or what plans are in store for them, and they aren’t required to get your approval for it, either. People have a right to make their own decisions. You never know what might happen and statements like this may very well make a fool of you one day. Don’t take a chance. 

5.  “I told you so.” Even if you preface it with the I-hate-to-say-it-but clause, it’s still ridiculous because they already know. Demonstrate some maturity and don’t gloat over somebody’s failings, even if they asked for it and everybody knew it was foolishness from the start. As I said in the last statement, people have a right to make their own decisions and that means having the grace to let them make their own mistakes. Pray they’ve learned from the experience, and don’t gloat lest you wander into folly someday. Because none of us are as smart as we think we are. 
 
6.    “ I did that too, and let me tell you how I did it better.” Nobody likes a know-it-all or a show off, and a constant need to one-up people blinks “I’m insecure!” brighter than a digital billboard. You don’t have to be in the spotlight every minute of every day. Back down and let others have their day in the sun every now and then. Because we all know that nobody’s done everything under the sun, and there will always be people out there that have done it bigger, better and more recently than you have. Let go of the competition to always be #1 and learn to be happy with the life the Lord gave you.

7.   “If I were you, I’d …” Turn off anybody that prefaces a statement with this immediately, because it’s a clear sign that they don’t know what they’re talking about. Wisdom gives options. Experience shares insight. Ignorance says that if they were you, they’d go out and kick the world in the you-know-where, and that’s most often foolishness that would make a bigger mess of things if anybody were dumb enough to take this advice. Plus, they wouldn’t have the guts to actually do it, because some people are good at telling people to do things they wouldn’t dare do themselves.

8.     “You should make them do it.” Guess what? Scientists have found the center of the universe and it’s not you. That’s the fastest way to run a person out of your life. You don’t make anybody do anything they don’t want to do, and if you try to then trust me – you’re ego can’t handle what they really think about you. If you have to control someone every minute to “keep them in line,” then you’re trying to force them into a place or relationship where they don’t belong. Don’t beg people to be your friend or try to force them to your will. Pray for what Joyce Meyer refers to as “divine connections.” Those are friends and acquaintances that you get along with so well that you don’t want to change them because you appreciate how their uniqueness enriches your life. 

9.     “I would NEVER do that/accept that/put up with that.” Never say never or the Lord will make you do it to show you who the boss really is. One never in your life that’s absolute: you never know what life has in store for you. Someday you could well be dining on crow while dealing with something that you thought you were too smart/special/good for. Life has a way of humbling us, and the “I would never” statements are a GPS on how to get that done. 

10.   Anything other than “I’m sorry for your loss” and “I’m praying for you and your family” at a visitation or funeral. Anything else sounds stupid and believe me, there’s nothing clever or inspirational you can say that will get through people in the depths of grief. The dumbest things I’ve ever heard have all been said at visitations and/or funerals because people try to justify death and offer comfort in religious platitudes. Folks, I’m Christian too, but this isn’t seminary or time to play preacher. I remember what C.S. Lewis wrote about death not being natural because human beings weren’t created to die and it’s the most painful consequence that we pay for sin. He’s absolutely right. There’s nothing right about death and there’s no way to wrap it up in pretty phrases or platitudes that makes it suck less. So give it up. Don’t engage in conversations with the bereaved if they try to start one, either. This isn’t the time or place to engage in theological discussions, discuss anything beyond condolences for the loss (no gossip or “what’s up with me” statements), and it certainly isn’t appropriate to leverage your personality or make a big impression. It’s a subdued occasion so dial it down, make an appearance, and for goodness sake, shut up.

Maybe you relate to some of this and are nodding, saying thank you for revealing it! Or maybe you see it as a calling out. I certainly don’t mean it that way, and I admit that I’m guilty of uttering some of these phrases. In fact, I  had to work at cutting the “whatever” and “I told you so” out of my vocabulary, and I get along with people so much better now that it’s gone. My point is not to say “shame on you.” It’s  to shed light on small things that chip away at trust and give guidance that I’ve learned in building bridges to cooperative relationships that last. It takes time and effort, but if modifying my vocabulary slightly will help with that, then it’s an effort worth making. I believe if you’ve read this far then you believe it’s a worthy effort, too.

That’s all today. Take care. I hope you have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend. 
 
Bye!

So I was off work today for Confederate Memorial Day. I know, I know, nobody's heard of it outside those of us that work for SC State Government. I honestly can't explain it. Several years ago they took away Election Day and our optional holiday and gave us Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Confederate Memorial Day instead. Frankly, I'd rather have election day off but that's the way it rolls round these parts.

Our HVAC unit quit on us day before yesterday. Got home from work on Wednesday and it was a wee bit warm in here. Turns out the unit had a major freon leak and bad coils. They're getting us a new one and will install it tomorrow. Thanks God for His mercies, because the temperature dropped the past few days. Highs in the mid to upper 70's and lows in the 60's. It's gotten a bit above our preference range around mid day, but overall it hasn't been bad. We open the windows when we're home and that helps. The house is getting aired out and the birds seem to enjoy the open windows. They aren't bothered by this at all. In fact, I don't think they're phased a bit. But I thank the Lord over and over for the mild weather and the timing of this (specifically, that it didn't happen when highs are in the 80's and 90's because it has been in the 90's a few times recently). It's been a darned inconvenience, but not too bad. I pray things go as planned and we get the unit installed tomorrow. Rick can't get off work, so I'm the one on home duty for this one. Looks like tomorrow will be a good day to work on Move.

Speaking of Move, the ideas are really coming along. I pretty much have the whole novel mapped out. Of course, there's the issue that I've been sick the past 2 nights with a headache so bad I couldn't possibly look at a computer screen. And I have to work, and of course my poor hands and wrists need a break from typing every now and then. I tell you, I think that if I had a free week I could write the entire rough draft. But alas, I don't, and so I shall peck at it as I can. But that's ok. I don't want to rush this one. I made the mistake of rushing with Splinter to get it done for National Novel Writing Month and I don't want to do that again. I'm glad I entered that because it was one of those things I always eyed NaNo with great interest, but it's really not suitable for a person with a home, family nearby, and full time job - especially in November when Thanksgiving rolls around. But having to pound out 50,000 words in a month was just stressful. I'm not doing that again, at least not while I'm working full time. I really enjoyed writing Anywhere But Here and Blurry, and I believe it was because I took my time and that allowed me to enjoy the process of having the ideas develop and the story come to life. So I'm taking my time and so far I have been enjoyed working on Move.

Believe it or not, I already have an idea for my next book. I don't know if I've mentioned this (I don't think I have), but I've recently pondered a return to  non-fiction. Well, today I was in Barnes & Noble and while walking past pet books I had the idea: Why don't I write a book about having birds as pets? I know I don't have a biology degree and I'm not a vet, but goodness, I've had 6 birds in my life. I think, at least from the petowner perspective, I'm certainly experienced. It's a general idea now, but it has me intrigued. I'll ponder this further and if I'm able to brainstorm some ideas then I'll take a shot at drafting this one after I get the rough draft of Move done.

And if that works it really will be interesting and a new experience, because I've always worked on one book at a time, from rough draft to final draft. I've just never had 2 book ideas at once. This is a new thing, and frankly I find it exciting! It's great to have the Spirit inspiring me so much again. I haven't really written much since Anywhere But Here, with personal life changes and then getting published - so it's great to be actually writing again and have the ideas coming. I say keep that inspiration flowing and keep the ideas coming, Lord!

I am feeling better with my sinus infection today. No more headache, sneezing or congestion. I still feel a bit feverish from time to time, and I'm slow and tire easily, but overall I'm much better. The antibiotic has worked quickly and I'm thankful for that too!

That's all for today. Take care all.  I hope you have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend.

Bye!