Category: God

Shatterpoint Chapter 3 - The Sacrificial Altar

7/24/2014

A lot of people have a lot of rules about what Christians can and cannot do. No alcohol is probably the one we’re most familiar with, although I’ve heard a laundry list of others: no dancing, no piercings, no tattoos, no secular music, no bright colors – heck, I’ve even heard people say that eggs and peanut butter are no-no’s in their congregation. For every restriction in Leviticus, I believe you can find a modern day “thou shalt not …”

If Jesus came to set the captives free, then it seems that would end the restrictions. His death on the cross ended ritual sacrifices, but it seems that we’ve found a laundry list of ways to bind ourselves up over.

The Ultimate List

It doesn’t have to be this way, because Christ did free us from most of the Old Testament restrictions. In fact, He drilled down the list to eleven items: the ten commandments, and to love one another as He loved us. He never mentioned drinking, dancing, dining, or anything else. In fact, Jesus didn’t give us a “don’t do” list at all. He says heed what God passed down directly to Moses, and love. That’s it.

So why have we developed a restriction list to our faith that rivals the Old Testament ways that we’re supposed to be free of? I think it’s humans doing what they always do – overgeneralizing that if it’s a problem for me; it’s a problem for everybody. There are too many people with a “if I can’t have it then nobody can” attitude, and they’ve managed to wrap this fatalism around false faith.

What You Own; What Owns You

In the last chapter, I discussed finding your authentic self through surrendering your will to the Lord. If you recall, I closed by encouraging you to embrace what the Lord put in your Heart and to cast off worldly expectations. Now we get to identifying what’s wheat and what’s chaff.

It really comes down to a simple question: what do you own, and what owns you? Galatians 5:19-23 gives a good breakdown of what’s what and how to determine which side of the fence things fall on. Surrender helps you identify what you own; specifically, the combination of unique things that produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life and shine your light into the world. Anything that demonstrates love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control is something you own to spread light and life into the world. Conversely, anything done from motives of impurity, idolatry, hatred, discord, jealousy, rage, selfish ambition, dissentions, and envy own you, and is chaff that needs to be burned up. In fact, one good way to find truth of character is to see which of these traits people demonstrate more of. People walking in the Spirit demonstrate its fruits. People bound by the world don’t.

It seems quite simple and in reality it is, but as with all things, it comes with experience, prayer, and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. You really have to know yourself to sort out what’s wheat from what’s chaff, because most things start out with good intentions that go awry. The road to hell really is paved with good intentions, because that’s the way it usually goes: the devil finds something good in you, and turns it to his purpose because, well, that’s what he does. He can’t create, so he has to twist all good things to wrong. It’s the job or volunteer opportunity that leads to the pride that turns you into a controlling tyrant. It’s the friendship that leads to co-dependency. It’s “being there” for someone having a tough time that turns into an affair. It’s the helping hand that becomes intrusive. I think you get the picture. We have to be so careful and constantly monitor our motives to make sure they stay true.

Good enough, but how do you do that? I recently heard that the average human has over sixty thousand thoughts a day. Do we have to stop and analyze all of them? Thankfully, no. There is an easier way, and we’ve actually talked about it already in Chapter 1.

Discernment

I believe the most overlooked virtue in humanity is discernment. The entire book of Proverbs extols all the good of wisdom, and it’s probably the most ignored book of The Bible, which is a shame because there’s no substitute for good, old-fashioned, common sense. I think it’s because our age of technology and reason has caused us to shut off our conscious and intuition in favor of the click of a mouse. Why think about it when you can look it up online? Why pray when you can post and have feedback in a few seconds? Who’s got time for that? It’s no wonder that people are addicted to their smartphones. We’ve turned them not into a surrogate brain, but a surrogate conscious as well.

Prayer and meditation may not be as fast or fashionable as a video or webpost, but it’s much more reliable and far more real. All that’s on the other end of that screen are human beings, with all of their flaws and weaknesses, and most of them don’t care to fix them because they’re pretty sure they’re right about everything and now they can tell the world that. For this reason, people will always let you down. Nobody’s perfect, and it’s unavoidable that at some point, people will fail. A personal relationship with the Lord and submitting yourself to Him is the only way to gain the wisdom you need to succeed in life and the peace that passes all understanding. Discernment is the Spirit’s gift of wisdom and understanding that helps you perceive and understand the world better, but you can only build it if you unplug from the world and plug into the Lord regularly. It’s not fast food. It’s an investment, and the more you put in, the more it returns.

Pruning

Sometimes, the Lord does call you to give up something that’s harmful or doesn’t serve a greater good in your life. I experienced this recently when I felt strongly compelled to leave Facebook. I like social media as much as anybody else, but I had a nagging feeling that it wasn’t good for me. I was spending too much and personal investment in it, and that wasn’t helping me move toward my personal goal of welcoming more positive energy into my life. In fact, after three months of prayer and meditation, I suspected that it was actually sabatoging my progress in that area. I finally admitted that it was doing me more harm than good and deactivated my account. I immediately felt better, and since that time my mindset has improved drastically. I find that I spend more time writing and reading too, and that brings me more joy than rants about peoples’ day and pictures of their supper. I feel better than I have in a while.

Notice what I didn’t assume in the above paragraph. I didn’t say that social media is bad. In fact, I’m still on Twitter, have a website and blog running, and am on several other social websites, where I interact with others regularly. I don’t say that Facebook is bad and everybody should quit it. There’s nothing wrong with Facebook and if it’s a place that you find encouraging and helpful then by all means, knock yourself out. Just because it was bad for me doesn’t mean its bad for everybody, so please enjoy it if you like it. I just happen to prefer Twitter myself. It suits me better. Maybe it’s the introvert/extrovert thing.

One person’s virtue can be another person’s vice. The only “once size fits all” rules are the ten commandments and Christ’s encouragement to love one another. The bottom line: keep the commandments, act like a decent human being, and respect others. If you need a “don’t” on the list, then don’t be a jerk.

Sacrifice really comes down to knowing what’s best for us, and isn’t meant to be a burden. Quite the contrary, it’s meant to lift the burden so we can experience peace and joy in life. It’s really not rocket science or brain surgery, although some of us have managed to make it that way. Christ made it really simple but us being us, I guess we do have a way of complicating things.

My Lenten Journey 3 - Obedience

3/20/2014

This week’s Lenten journey brought me to the issue of obedience.

I know, I just heard my entire audience log off. Seriously, I once heard a popular minister say their sermons on this topic were not only their least popular, but least attended as well. And that alone should tell you something.

Seriously, the topic comes about based on my current Bible reading. It’s the final instructions Moses gave the Israelites before they conquered the Promised Land. Over and over, he exhorts them to follow God’s commands and to be obedient to the Lord’s leading. Well, if you’ve read the Bible, then you know exactly how that goes – straight into a downward spiral to 70 years of Babylonian captivity. It seems that obedience is an issue that people struggle with. All people. All throughout history. In all circumstances. None of us are exempt. Let’s face it – you know you feel that you have a right to master your own fate, and that nobody is “the boss of you.”

Ironically, a life of peace is beyond our grasp unless we are obedient. I won’t ask you to admit this to anybody out loud, but for just a moment, be brutally honest with yourself: how many times have you known, deep down inside, that you should do something, but didn’t do it – and then came to regret it later? Or worse yet, you knew you weren’t supposed to do something and God was screaming “NO!!!” so loud that everybody around you heard it and warned you off the path, but you stubbornly pursued it, straight into disaster? You know you’ve done it. We’ve all done it. It’s a big source of the one thing we say we don’t want in life – regret. And yet, we still ignore the Holy Spirit within us trying to keep us on the right path, because WE want to make the decisions. WE want to steer this ship and take it where WE want to go, whether we have any business there or not.

I think we’re all familiar with the saying “I’d rather be free in hell than a slave in Heaven,” but people with this attitude (and yes, it’s an attitude that our actions say if our words do not) don’t fully grasp the horror they’re embracing. Our every idea of freedom is skewed. We don’t fully realize what it means, because only God is free. The rest of His creation is bound one way or another, and our freedom is limited to choosing which way it’s going to be. Simply stated, there’s nowhere else to go. We’re free to choose whether to remain His, but we aren’t free to choose to BE Him. That throne is already taken, and He isn’t stepping aside to hand it to any mortal. So our freedom is limited to a very simple choice: to belong to Him and obey His will for our lives, or to break free of Him and live in the consequences of our choices.

We don’t like this. We want to believe we’re beholden to no one, but in the end we are responsible for our actions and where they lead. You can have your way, but you have to work to stay there, and do it without Holy protection of an unordained purpose. Or you can have God’s way and live under His protection, knowing that you can weather the storms because He’s got you. Some don’t mind this. They’re perfectly OK with struggling their whole life if it means that they have control of their life – but deep down, they’re miserable from constant struggles and pains they can’t rise above because they can’t do it alone and have forsaken the only One that can help them rise above to a new place they couldn’t have imagined. It reminds me of what Castiel asked Dean on Supernatural several years ago: “Do you want freedom, or do you want peace?” You can’t have it both ways. If you want freedom, you have to constantly work and struggle to keep people and circumstances from intruding on your will. If you want peace, you must be obedient to the Lord: obey His commands, and following the prompting of the Holy Spirit in your life in every way. This is a place where there’s no sitting on the fence. You’re obedient or you aren’t – and the rest of it follows from there.

We don’t like this. Just like the Israelites, we’re stiff necked people. Hard headed and hard hearted, and yet, Jesus still came. He still lived and loved and walked amongst us and chose to die for us. And to me, that’s the greatest demonstration of love of all – and the greatest mystery of the universe!

It’s amazing, really, that the key to happiness is so simple, and yet so hard to do. Pride really is a leech that sucks the life out of us.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a good rest of the week.

Bye!

Something Worth Encouraging You For

2/1/2014

I wrote a blog entry earlier this week on something worth pissing you off for. Well, it only seems fair to balance the scales and write an entry on something worth encouraging you for. And since it seems that I tend to ponder things deeper and write more when I'm working on writing projects, it so happens that I have one for you.

I was running errands on my lunch break Thursday when I drove by a church sign that read: "Humility is born from humiliation." At first I thought no, that's not true. I don't think it's necessary to break people to make then realize they aren't "all that." But I ran into a problem right away when I tried to think of a time when I learned humility without being knocked flat on my behind or completely overwhelmed to the point of helplessness. Hmm. I've heard it said that more lessons come from pain than joy. It seems that's right. I see, in fact, that every advancement I've made in life was preceded by defeat or being knocked back a notch:

The school refused to put me in the most advanced math classes when I started high school because I missed the eligibility requirement by 2 points on a standardized test. But my senior year, that opened up one more class in my schedule. I took college level psychology - and found my major.

After struggling through a terrible junior year in college where it seemed that all of my classes were a struggle and all my relationships were in conflict, I sought help through tutors, advisors, and councilors at the University. It worked. My senior year, I made the President's List both semesters, was selected to work on a great independent study project (where I gained experience that helped me get the job I have now), graduated with honors, and was engaged to Rick.

After struggling with our finances for years and then an infection that took three months to heal, Rick and I were finally able to build our home.

After a major work move, I got two publication contracts and became an independent author, thanks to the perseverance and research skills I learned from working with others to make the move successful.

I wondered why this is so. I suppose the whole "free will" thing has a lot to do with it. We all want to be important. But the truth is that we don't run the world, and it seems that we need reminders every now and then that we can't do it all. The good news is that the One who made the world wants to give us His power and work through us. He just has to make sure we're ready to let him do that. We can do a lot, but we CAN'T do it all. And I suppose coming to the end of our rope is the thing that prepares us for the miracles that take us from disaster to destiny.

I've spent my career working in professional licensing, and I can tell you that one of the most embarrassing things is to have someone ask you or one of your Board members "why did you license that person?" It's an undeniable fact that the standards set for initial licensure become the "minimal competency level" standards for the profession, and you can't force people to rise above that once they're licensed. It's encouraged and supported through license renewals, continuing education requirements, and private societies that offer opportunities to connect with others and grow in the profession. But we can't force them to take anything from that, and the sad truth is that there are some people that won't do any more than they have to. Thankfully, it's extremely rare that this happens, but everything is subject to opinion and inevitably it will.

Well, God doesn't settle for minimal competency, nor will He allow us to. And humility is how He helps us rise to the next blessing. My Bible reading was in Job yesterday, and I was struck by one verse: "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the former part." (Job 42:12) After being utterly destroyed; after losing everything except his life; after being ridiculed by family and friends and even chastised by God Himself; Job acknowledged his limits and pledged to lean on God. And God was pleased and grew him, above and beyond all he ever had.

My point in this entry is to encourage you not to give up or to give in to discouragement if you're facing a tough time. We all do. Maybe you made a mistake and need to make it right. Maybe you didn't do anything to deserve it, and this is God preparing you for a blessing to come. Whatever the case, have faith. Human beings were created to live in eternity with the Lord, so the story never ends. Humility means joining your ability with God's strength to rise to the next level. So don't fear. Rise. You can do it. The One Who created the Heavens and the Earth will make you able.

But you can't do it alone. Because sorry folks, but you're not all that.

That's all today. Take care, and have a great weekend.

Bye!

Luck?

9/26/2013

When it comes to luck, I seem to get an avalanche because it all hits me at one time. When it's good luck, that's okay. But when it's bad luck, it's rather aggravating. And you've probably guessed that for the past months, it seems I've been on a roll of bad luck. Illness, injury, accidents, things breaking or going wrong, a constant barrage of bad luck. On the one hand, it's minor irritations that are usually handled quickly. But those add up, and pretty soon the minor irritants lead to a major breakdown.

Yes, it happened last week - but the irritations haven't. Just when I thought okay, maybe it's leveling out, I get up this morning to another accident. I broke a dental device that I need to keep the extensive dental work I had when I was younger "in place." I had a lot of dental problems as a kid and in my early teens. They're resolved, thankfully, but proper maintenance is key to making sure they don't come back. So now, I'm fixing to head to the dentist to get it fixed. He said it sounds like it's not really major. It's happened before, and he was able to fix it, so he believes this won't be a big deal. But it's a kink in my day, my schedule, and my life. And maybe it is some luck here, because I'm supposed to be at a conference in Minneapolis right now, but I'm not because of conflicts at work (that are also in the resolution process, but alas, didn't happen in time for me to make this trip). At least I'm home and can get this resolved now.

Some people go through times like this and say "what have I done to deserve this?" or "God must be mad at me." Nonsense. I say "wow, I must really be pissing the devil off for him to be after me like this, and God must be protecting me by limiting the scope." The Bible said time and chance happen to us all - it's just happening to me a lot right now. And I recently read the Book of Job. It's not God's fault that life sucks sometimes. That's the imperfect nature of the world that sin brought in. But that's a discussion for another time. Suffice it to say, I'm hanging in there and refusing to be discouraged. I had a bit of a breakdown last week and I'm not interested in another one, thank you very much.

I'll tell you this: there's no way I'm following people's advice and buying a lottery ticket. They say I'm due good luck and should play it. Heck no! I'm afraid that if I win, I'll die the next day. Or be horribly injured. Or get a terminal disease. The way things are going, I'd be lucky if I didn't win because winning would tempt the devil, fate, or whatever into hitting me with it's best shot. No thanks! Best to leave it alone and not bring gambling into the mix. You buy the lottery ticket and good luck. I don't see that working out for me at all. I'll take a more low key approach and keep working each day. That's always worked to lead to better times, so why stop? Maybe the release of Splinter in a little over a month will turn the tide to better luck, better days, and better ways.

I'm hoping. For now, I'm thankful the scope is limited to minor irritations and I'm hanging in there.

I best be off. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a good weekend.

Bye!

Paradigm Shifts

8/26/2013

On this, my 38th birthday, I find my self pondering the progress of the past year. I suppose this is a natural thing to do on a birthday. On first glance it could seem disappointing, as there are no "major" changes to report, but that's actually deceptive. There have been changes in the past year, but they've been more in the way of "shifts" instead of what could be clearly defined as "changed." I suppose this sounds somewhat elusive, so of course I'm going to explain.

The progress of the past year has actually been more in the way of building on things that have already been in motion. While it doesn't seem that much has changed - after all, life is progressing along very much the same today as it was a year ago - I can't say that I think about or feel the way that I did about life as I did one, two, or five years ago. In fact, as I ponder it, I notice that my paradigm has shifted quite a bit in the last 4 years. I suppose this is natural. My job changed and I finally broke into publication with my writing in 2010 - 2011, and while these things are "the norm" in my life right now, I see how incorporating those changes into my life has changed my view of life and the world. My basic morals haven't changed. That's not something that's likely to change. But the way you see the world around you and apply those morals can change, and I'm starting to see the evidence that it's happened. When you walk in faith long enough, you delve deeper into things, and that's certainly what's happened to me.

So how have I changed? For one, I'm seeing a whole new application of the concept of "reaping and sowing," as described in Galatians 6:7. You all know that this is one thing that my grandfather was a big believer in, and I took it to heart. But this verse applies to more than just relationships with other people and how you treat them - it also applies to progress and purpose in life. In fact, if you shift two more verses you'll read that "in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) After several years of hard work to re-establish myself professionally in my current workplace and to get my writing established, I see the value of patience in all that we do. If life really is a series of ups and downs, reaping and sowing, then that has big implications for all of life. If we choose to only allow ourselves to be happy on the mountaintop, when we're reaping the rewards of our labors, then we're guaranteed to be miserable (or at least, withholding our own happiness) at least 50% of our life. Folks, that just isn't acceptable to me. That's not going to do it. Sure, there are some people that enjoy being miserable and whining and complaining to get attention, but that's not the way I choose.

I know from experience that there are blessings in every day because I've been through the major life changes when I looked back and realized that there were little blessings that I took for granted, and I was sorry for it. An example: before my writing was published, I used to do counted cross stitching and wrote short stories. Much to my surprise, I find that I have very little time for that now, between promoting my published works and creating new ones. I love my writing and pray daily that it will continue to grow and reach more people - in fact, I'm prayerfully striving to make a break into science fiction with Splinter this fall - but there are some days when I miss having the time to cross stitch, or to goof off on Writing.com with short story contests. I didn't realize how much time these things filled in my life until my writing grew to the point where I had to make decisions about what stayed and what went. I still stitch occasionally, but large projects are out now. And as for short stories, they take me longer to write, prepare, and complete than they once did. And ditto for the work move. I was glad to make it and still believe it was the best, but I didn't realize the little things I took for granted, like talking to a couple of my friends when things got slow, the great walking paths on the State House grounds, a covered parking spot or those outstanding subs for a great price on Tuesdays and Fridays. Yes, I've gained a lot through both changes. I wouldn't undo either of them or the world because I gained a lot more than I lost. But I did learn to not despise the small things, and to appreciate the small blessings that go with each day as well as the big things we work so hard to cultivate and grow in our lives.

Some people say this means to "enjoy the journey on the way to where you go," but I think there's a deeper meaning than that. A devotion I read recently said, "God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to do what's right." That really hit me and helped me to get a grasp on my own paradigm shift. I used to think that the point was about being happy, and I actually worried for a little while, wondering if I'd ever be happy like I was before. I see now that I won't, because happy is a side effect. The purpose of life is not to serve our feelings, but to do what we're supposed to be doing and work hard to do what's right for our purpose in life. If you are faithful in well doing and obedient to the spirit, there's a contentment to your life that nothing - situations, circumstances, or other people and their attitudes (because that really reflects on them more than anything else, but that's a pondering for another entry) - can affect. You can rest in knowing that you're doing all you can, and that allows you to enjoy the blessings of every day, large or small. And contentment is better than happiness. It's more stable, because you can still see the blessing in what you have even if a thousand aggravations are bleeding out of them. It's built on a firmer foundation that gives you the patience to hold out for the "bigger picture" even if you don't understand what the point is (as is often the case). It's built on a trust between you and the Lord and nobody else can put their hands on it. And that can give you the courage to do what's right, even in the face of ridicule, opposition, or doubt. Happiness is transient and comes and goes with circumstances. Contentment is faith in action.

No, the earth hasn't moved in the last year. Things look much the same today as they do every other day. But I know they aren't. I see how the work at the everyday levels is building to something new and better. I might not know what yet, but when it is revealed then I'll reap a reward in due season, and be glad I didn't lose heart.

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

Breaking Down "Breaking Bad"

8/11/2013

I read an interesting op/ed piece yesterday on CNN about how the show Breaking Bad mirrors the evil within us all. The writer described in great detail how her Christian faith helped her to see how this show mirrors the tough moral decision that we face in all of our lives, each and every day. I think it's a great piece and encourage you to follow the link and read it - after, of course, you read my humble opinion on it. I agree with all of the points in this write-up, but I think Breaking Bad is popular for more than the general reason of seeing the good versus evil battle from the other side of the equation. In fact, I believe we can break this show, and it's popularity, down to a more central, core issue than good and evil.

Breaking Bad is about what happens when you make money your god. I mean, isn't that really what it all boiled down to? Let's follow how the dominoes fall:

1. Walt White gets lung cancer. He battles whether or not to get treatment and thinks hey, maybe now, but
2. Skyler White wants him to get treatment, no matter what the cost, but
3. The problem is that they're broke, so
4. Walt goes on a drug bust with his brother-in-law and DEA agent, Hank Shrader, and gets the brainstorm that crystal meth makes money when he sees his former student, Jessie Pinkman, fleeing the scene of the bust, so
5. Walt approaches Jessie about going into business together ...

And that's how the dominoes start falling. The problem is, this is a secret too big to hide. And when Skyler finds out, she strikes back by having an affair with Ted Beneke, her boss, to get back at Walt. But the problem is, the drug money is not only paying for Walt's treatment, but many other things too. And money solves a lot of problems in their society. So the dominoes start falling, one by one, as the business build and the relationships deteriorate.

Think about it, and you'll see that this show is a 5 year battle of money verses, well, pretty much everything else in life. And this is something we can all relate to because frankly, we see it ourselves on smaller scales every day. For all the ladies that tell me this show is too "rough" for them to handle, I say that's crap. Really? You can't handle it? And how often do you buy lottery tickets and fanaticize about how you're going to take that money and tell the world to KMA? Okay, then.

We all know what it's like to be short on money and to have to make tough decisions. And really, think about it: how tempting would it be if you discovered that you have a skill like that that could bring in unimaginable amounts of cash and solve all your financial problems FOREVER? Would the fact that it's illegal deter you? How about if you were dying of cancer and leaving behind a family? Life isn't black and white and frankly, the moral battles are tougher when you're looking at life and death. Throw in regrets over past failures and missed opportunities and really, how would you stand? Nobody knows. And this show gives us a look at how one man did it.

But there are always consequences, and the consequences don't care about ends and means. Walt claims that he did everything he did "for the family," but I call crap on that because I remember the episode when he told Jessie he was building an empire to make up for the one he lost out on in the past - the business he sold out of for $5,000 that went on to make multi-millions. He started in it for the money, but the demons got a foothold through that chink in the armor and now the fame of Heisenburg is clamoring to make up for all of his other mistakes. Jessie is showing signs of cracking and Walt is, as Mike put it so well last season, is a bomb about to go off. Walt spends more time scrambling to cover his tracks than enjoying the fruits of his labors, which is the nature of the whole beast. When you put yourself in a place where you aren't meant to be, you have to work all the time to keep yourself there. Walt is learning that as this decision is taking it's toll on everything in his life. Sure, he decided to get out, but this particular "business" isn't exactly one you can quietly retire from. He thinks he has it handled, but we know the bomb is still ticking. And now, in these final 8 episodes, we see it go boom. Because you know there's no happy ending for anybody here. Not for anybody. The question is, where does the boom happen, and who goes out with it?

We find out soon. The final 8 dominoes fall starting tonight at 9:00 on AMC. I'll be watching, along with the rest of you.

That's all today. Enjoy this video in honor of the final season of Breaking Bad and have a good week.

Bye!

The Perils of Being "Normal"

8/9/2013

I got a copy of my performance evaluation this week and cringed at the opening paragraph. The evaluation was good, but it seems that every one I’ve had for the past 3 years opened with “Since Sherri transferred from her former department, she has …” I sighed as I filed it and said to Chloe (because she was on my shoulder and it would be crazy to talk to myself), “am I destined always be preceded by this note that I’m different from every other employee?” I shook my head at it. I’m always different. I always have been and always will be. 99.9% of the time, it doesn’t bother me because I’m proud of how I’m unique from the rest of the world. But every once in a while, it does get to me.

Then the next day somebody told me about a friend that was irritating them to death with frequent telephone calls. Her friend envied her hair and kept calling to ask how she got her hair to look that for an upcoming event. “It’s ridiculous and she’s driving me crazy!” my friend said, “and she’ll never get it to look like mine. Why can’t she accept it?” My friend is right. One of them has straight hair and one has curly hair. They’ll never have identical hairdos because it’s literally impossible. And then the light went off over my own head: it seems that the desire to be normal actually causes MORE problems than being different. As I ponder this further, it’s true. There’s a lot of strife in this world, and most of it goes back to 2 things:

1. People are jealous and envy what others have; or

2. People don’t understand what others are doing because it doesn’t seem “right” to them, so they object.

And in both situations, there’s no way to have a good, functioning relationship with people. So they argue. They fight. They try to force and coerce others to doing things the way they believe is “right” and refuse to accept people for who they are. What’s more, many of these people are in church every Sunday, and yet the concept of grace and having enough of it to respect the wants and needs of others goes right past them. It’s like it doesn’t even exist.

I might not be popular, but at least I have freedom. I don’t envy others because I’m too busy attending to the business of my own life. And as a result of that, I usually don’t spend too much mental energy forming opinions of how other people are leading their life unless they intrude on my time/space/territory (then it’s fair game, because I do have a right to determine what is and is not acceptable in my own life, and I can give you the name of a few witnesses that will attest to the fact that I will indeed do just that if you invade my life). I might not understand things, but one thing I’ve learned in adulthood is wisdom is gained from mistakes, and experience is, in many instances, a greater teacher than words. I remember what J.R.R. Tolkein wrote in The Lord of the Rings about the burned hand taking lessons of fire to heart. I also remember what C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters about the prayer the devil loves the most is “make me like everybody else.” That’s Satan’s playground, where every deadly sin has a place to take root. I see the point. If “everybody is doing it,” then that’s reason to stop right there and ask if it’s wisdom or just the next foolish net laid for this season’s catch.

I know I have too many rough edges for some people to deal with, but I’ve found that they deal with being real and honest a lot better than being fake. I’ve also learned that, as the saying goes about birthday’s, “it’s a matter of mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Being true to who the Lord made you to be not only guarantees that you will find and fulfill all of your purposes in life, but that the opinions of others really don’t matter to you. Things tend to turn out for the best if you stay true to yourself, anyway. Yes, people still shake their head at me occasionally. Yes, I get frustrated with the lack of understanding from time to time. No, I’ll never be popular. No, I’m not in any cliques. I go my own way and do my own thing. But people know my personal policy, and that they can trust me to always do my very best, no matter what. And a funny thing happens when you stand your ground – people are more comfortable being their real self when they see that you aren’t afraid. They open up more and worry less, and in turn you develop stronger relationships based on mutual trust and respect. That’s just not possible in cliques based on fake conformity, masks, and facades. They can have that, because I don’t have time for what’s fake. Give me something real or get outta here. That’s my stand.

Last week, I read an interesting line in my weekly devotional. It said “God doesn’t want you to be happy. He wants you to do what’s right.” That’s absolutely true. I’m reading through The Bible, and one thing that strikes me is God’s repeated statement to “obey my commands.” Not “do whatever and you’ll be okay,” but “obey my commands.” This is usually followed by a list of how people will prosper if they do and suffer if they don’t. Furthermore, Jesus went on to say that He wants us to have life in all its abundance – but you have to do what’s right to get it. Jesus didn’t say “have an okay life.” He said “life in abundance.” It seems to me that if you do what’s right, then happy is a side effect. Too many people are hung up on their feelings these days. They want happy, but don’t understand what it takes to get happy. It’s like they’re feasting on French fries and leaving the steak untouched. Doing right = happy. Do wrong = hurt. It’s the simplest equation and yet, through all of human history, we still don’t get it. I think it goes back to the Mark Twain quote that “opportunity is often missed because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” True enough.

I think this is why unique people are happier in the long run. They aren’t caught up in the trappings of “what everybody else is doing” and “what should be” like others are. They aren’t afraid of who they are or of the hard work it takes to accomplish their dreams. They’re playing the hand they have and making the best of it. And after a while, you learn to play it to win – even if it’s a hand full of jokers!

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and have a great weekend.

Bye!

Ebbs, Downswings, and Deserts

8/2/2013

We all go through those spells when it seems you can’t get anything going. I’ve heard them called many things. C.S. Lewis referred to it as “The Law of Undulation” in The Screwtape Letters. He describes it as the cyclical nature of live to swing between highs and lows, and the theory that we’re always somewhere on that arc. Sara Ban Breathnach refers to it as “The Ebb” in Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. She compares it to the ebb and flow of the ocean tide, and how life goes through seasons of great abundance followed by seasons of stagnation. I’ve heard many Christians refer to these times as “desert seasons,” comparing it to the Hebrew’s 40 years of wandering in the desert prior to coming into the Promised Land. Others call it “the darkness before the dawn.” Whatever you call it, you know how frustrating it can be when you work so hard, day in and day out, and see – nothing.

They’re all right. There are times when life seems like a runaway train and times when you think you’ll have to get out and push this hunk of junk somewhere – anywhere! – except even that probably wouldn’t get you anywhere. It’s frustrating. It’s irritating. And it’s just as much a part of life as the rising and setting of the sun.

Sure, we know that they’re actually periods of slow building to the next blessing on the way, but it’s tough to keep your motivation when all you get is “keep working” and no indication of how close you are to a breakthrough. It’s easy to get discouraged, angry, or frustrated. Many people give up, disillusioned by the deception that things will never change and falling into the trap of actually prolonging their suffering when relief would have been right around the corner had they not abandoned hope. Because if you look at all the descriptions I listed above, you’ll notice they have one thing in common: they all point to a payoff in the end. However stagnant things might seem, remember that the nature of the universe is change. It’s impossible for things to stay the same forever. It just doesn’t happen. So naturally, if you hang in there and keep working hard, you’ll eventually see a breakthrough. It brings truth to the encouragement in Galatians 6:9 which reminds us: “Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.”

So how do you keep the hope in these seasons of stagnation? I’m in one of those seasons now, and I can say from experience that it’s tricky. You can post all the inspirational verses in the world all over your house, office and car, but that discouragement and frustration will still come. I fight it every day, in one way or another. Giving up isn’t an option, because I only need to look at my recent past to see that too much good is building up to abandon it. I’m determined to see it through. It’s a vicious cycle because I get frustrated with not seeing progress, and then I get frustrated with myself for losing patience and getting frustrated. That’s one thing about walking in faith – you know what’s right and true, and you get irritated with yourself when your humanity rises to the surface and causes you to get irritated with the challenges before you, knowing that you’re called to walk in patience and that you’re losing it. It’s a constant spiritual battle. I don't know that I'll ever be able to "embrace the ebb" as Breathnach suggests in her November 1st entry.

I think the secret to winning the battle and “fighting the good fight” is that you have to find things that speak peace to your soul. These are the days when the small things as Zechariah 4:10 tells us not to despise are building up to the big blessings of tomorrow. So I give thanks for the blessings I have, and I take advantage of every opportunity, no matter how small it may seem. It’s worked to get me this far, and I know that if I keep walking in this way then it will build up to the next flow in my life. Just today, I found encouragement in an email that Whiskey Creek Press has assigned an editor to Splinter. My first sci-fi novel is on it's way to becoming a reality.

And so, I keep doing my best at all that’s set before me. I do all I can to make things the best I can. I enjoy my husband, birds, home, family and friends. I keep my eyes open to opportunity and prayerfully consider everything before me. I'll work with the good folks at Whiskey Creek Press to make Splinter the best it can be and proudly deliver it to readers in November. I delight in the small things, from the first cup of coffee in the morning, to time writing, to watching a movie, or reading a book, or taking a walk during my lunch break, because if I’m doing all I can then I should enjoy breaks and blessings whenever I have a chance. And I go through each day the best I can, knowing that it will build up to the next blessing in due season.

I often hear people say “God is never late, so be patient!” It’s a good thing He isn’t, and that our times are in His hands. Otherwise, we’d truly be in trouble, because our lack of foresight of the “big picture” would always have us rushing around after we know not what.

Where there’s life, there’s hope – so if you woke up alive this morning, then keep the faith. His mercies are new every morning and you never know which one will bring the next flow in your life.

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and I hope you have a great weekend.

Bye!

False Security

6/25/2013

I'm glad there are some people out there that have never been bullied, challenged, or have been forced to suffer at the hands of people with ill intentions. I'm glad you've never had to go "head to head" with people that believe you need to be "fixed" because they believe you're too idealistic or that your morals are silly or stupid. I'm glad there are people that never have to stand up to anything because they're never challenged and the world just falls at their feet. I'm glad they can confidently say "I don't get what your problem is" because they don't have any.

But you know what else? For all the security you project, I also pity you. I pity you because it's a false security. You never have to stand because you don't stand for anything. I pity you because you're blind to the realities that the world is bigger than you can possibly know, and that there are forces at work in this world and in the universe that you ignore because you can't put your hands on them. Because you don't see it with your eyes, you criticize. And you're on perilous ground.

Criticize my faith all you want. You will never turn me away. I believe in Christ and I believe in The Bible. I also believe in the one thing that makes most of you squirm and start screaming at me about why my faith can't be right: accountability. That's the one area where I'm called on the most. "If God is love, then He won't hurt us," people say to me boldly.

No, He won't. But others will. And if you do wrong, He won't save you from the consequences. He does love, He wants what's best. The Bible even says He wants no man to be lost. But we also have a choice, and it also says that believing in forgiveness isn't permission to sin. We know better and we're expected to act like it. If we don't, we will suffer at our own hand.

God won't hurt us, but we can hurt ourselves. And we do it plenty. All the time. Every day. Every book I've written is about people who refused to be obedient to what they should do, and they suffered until they woke up, realized what was right, and did it. I'm not a religious writer, but I won't allow a character to win by doing wrong. That's a personal conviction. Any victory from doing wrong is temporary, and I want to show readers the path to lasting victory.

For all that smirk and say "Oh, then you say God delights in revenge but He's also love?" remember this: King David was a man after God's own heart, but he still paid for the sin of adultery. The son he fathered through that sin with Bathsheba died. God was grieved by this sin and forgave David, but He didn't erase the consequences of doing wrong. And it's why David didn't make that mistake again. He feels the same way when we go on with our bad selves and set ourselves up in similar ways. He's not a "smitey God" (as someone on Facebook proposed), but He won't absolve accountability. He will correct us in love and hope we will learn and not cling to stubbornness and continuing to make the same old mistakes, over and over. If there are no consequences, we never learn. If we never learn, we never grow, improve, or get better. We have no compassion for others because we are isolated in ourselves. Lack of accountability is a cycle of self destruction, which is why God won't allow that to happen. And so squirm all you want but we are accountable. You might think you are beholden to no-one, and you're wrong. You're dangerously wrong.

No, life isn't easy. It's hard and it hurts and it downright sucks sometimes. I'm not sure why some things are allowed to happen and I'll be honest enough to say that I have a "what good did THAT do?" list of my own. Sometimes I actually blog about things on this list. But I've learned this much in my 37 years on this planet:

1. I don't have all the answers; and

2. It's okay that I don't have all the answers. In fact, over the past couple of years, I've come to feel that I don't WANT all of the answers. That's more responsibility than I care for, and to me, faith is better than trying to process all of that.

Believe or don't believe - it's your choice, and I'm not going to beat you over the head with a Bible or argue theology. In fact, I see the fact that you argue as a good thing. Because if you argue, then you're thinking about God and faith. And if you didn't care at all, then you wouldn't go to all of that trouble , because nobody's got time for that.

Gotcha!

That's all today.

Bye!

Take a Look Around

12/30/2012

While most people are in the "making resolutions" stage, I prefer to use the end of the year to take a look back at what I've learned and accomplished, and to decide how to move forward. I believe resolutions are more effective if we consider what we want to do with what we have rather than blindly shooting darts at a random goal. After all, we have an entire life, and our resolutions are more likely to stick if they're things that serve many aspects of it. So without further ado, let me share that during 2012 I have learned:

1. More about the legislative process than I ever imagined possible - or even wanted to know. My work move in 2010 was a result of changes to the law governing the landscape architect and soil classifiers programs that I worked with. I got a crash course in bills becoming laws that year and believe me, the old "School House Rock" on how a bill becomes a law didn't even scratch the surface! Once the move was done, I still had to assist with getting regulations passed to go with that new law - a process that crossed over two sessions due to some oversights in the statute for the soil classifiers. Over the past 3 legislative sessions I've sat in more legislative subcommittee and committee meetings than I can count - including that fateful meeting in May 2011 when the cemetery regulations were on the agenda before mine and I also got a crash course education in things that can go wrong with burials that curbed my appetite for a few days and scarred my poor mind forever (note to self: dying is disgusting). It's not easy. In fact, it's slow, and snafus and roadblocks can pop up when you least expect it (think my "life is like a jack-in-the box analogy). You have to have a pound of patience and a ton of flexibility. But boy have I learned a lot now, and I have a new respect (or rather, understanding and better knowledtge) of what's happening in the State House. Thankfully, everything has been updated for both programs, and now they're all up to date. Barring any unexpected changes from the inside or other sourses outside the Boards, we will hopefully be ok.

What I'll do with this knowledge: As it turns out, the architects are updating their regulations and the engineers are considering updates to their statute. Those are bigger programs, so my "hands on" assistance won't be needed as much as it was for the smaller programs I worked with, but I will track their documents through the process and do whatever I can to help.

2. More about writing and publishing than I thought possible. This all started with a power resolution I made in 2011 to do everything possible to improve as a writer and to get myself published again by going "outside of the box." I brushed up on my grammer rules, revised my work, and decided to give e-publishing one more try (I had a contract to e-publish Quarantine in 2009, but the company broke the contract and filed for bankruptcy before it went to print). It worked - I got contracts for Blurry and Anywhere But Here, and they've both been published. This year, I added educating myself on publicity and promotional opportunities for my published works, and I decided to work in the areas of keeping a strong online presence and pursuing book reviews and author interviews. I also signed a contract for Splinter, the National Novel Writing Month book I wrote in 2010, and started another mystery novel and another non-fiction book for bird owners this year.

What I'll do with this knowledge: First and foremost is to finish Move and Feathered Frenzy,to work with Whiskey Creek Press on Splinter when they're ready to take it into pre-production, and to promote it like crazy when it's published. I'd also like to expand on a couple of projects that will serve in the promotion and the writing more and writing better categories: I'd like to get back into writing articles, short stories, and novellas. Shorter works are a bit more of a challenge for me because I'm a novelist at heart, but the fact is that I need to have new material to release more regularly than is possible to do with a novel, and the only way to do that is to delve into shorter markets. I'm already working on some articles, and once I get Move and Feathered Frenzy done, I'd like to brush up on my skills with the shorter stuff and see what I can get out there.

3. I flew! I did it twice, actually. My job started to require me to travel to the landscape architect conferences, so I made trips to Miami and San Francisco last year. That was a new experience for me, but not as bad as I thought. Actually, I was fortunate that my flights went well and I don't mind flying at all. This educated me in so many ways. I learned that I can travel with two carry-on bags and less than I imagined possible. I learned that it's not terribly difficult to find your way around an airport, and that Charlotte really is reasonable and easy to get around. I learned that although I love ebooks, paperbacks are really a better way to go with reading material since you have to turn off electronics so much. I learned that if you're nice to the stewardess, they'll give you the bag of pretzels that aren't all broken and crunched up. I learned that Miami International Airport is about a million square miles, and I think I walked every bit of it - but Salt Lake City is like Walmart on Christmas Eve, and located in what looks like a crater to boot, so there are different kinds of suffering. I learned that taxi drivers can scare the hell out of you. And I learned that turbulence is really a "come to Jesus" moment in a patch of rough airspace over Kansas. And yes, I've seen places I probably wouldn't have gone before. I mean, San Francisco? I had never been on the west coast,in a different time zone, or put up in a five star hotel (albeit business class) before that. It was something.

What I'll do with what I learned: Become more travel savvy, whether I planned to or not. And next up is Scottsdale, Arizona.

4. Smartphones don't make you smarter, but they sure help you look smarter. Rick and I finally got iPhones last January, and I'm so glad we did. For all the people that say "how can a phone make you smarter?" I say in about a zillion ways. I can keep up with things. I can be reached just about anywhere (unless I'm on a flight). I can keep my schedule, make lists, check news and weather, and set reminders. Heck, the only things it won't do are clean the house, clean the bird cages, cook my meals, and rake the yard. But it's the 21st century. Who knows? Rosie the Robot maid might come about in my lifetime yet.

What I'll do with what I learned: Thank God that I live in an era of computers and smartphones to make life easier and keep using them to the fullest advantage!

5. Balance in life is a personal responsibility, and sometimes you must make hard choices to maintain it. There are only so many hours in a day, and it's impossible to do everything you want to do. With personal responsibilities and the relationships in our lives, we often have to choose what we like best, do that, and drop other things. This really hit me when I quit the evangelism committee at church in October. I didn't want to do it, but frankly I'd felt the nagging in my spirit that my life was too full and I needed to let go of some things to focus on what was growing in my life. Rick and I are fortunate to have a good marriage, our birds, all of our parents alive, our families, good, stable jobs, and our home. Rick does some website design here and there, and my writing is continuing to build and grow. We have some excellent friends that we're in contact with. Unfortunately - that's all we have time for. The time we had for volunteer activities has filled up with other things growing, and we both had to accept that it was time to let the volunteering go, for a while at least. His term on council just ended and it's obvious that we need to take a break to nurture the things that are most important and tend to the biggest responsibilities that the Lord has laid before us. Life does change, so it's inevitable that this season will pass and perhaps we'll have time to resume the volunteer activities. But for now, we've decided that we want to dedicate ourselves to and fully appreciate the blessings we have at hand without overcommitting ourselves to secondary or perphiery endeavors.

What I'll do with what I've learned: This sounds like it's coming out of left field, but pondering this discovery inspired me to make getting on the treadmill regularly a part of my life again. I believe we've made good decisions to keep a balance of our responsibilities and relationships in order, but balance is a holistic thing, and it occured to me that while my priorities are in order, I'm still stressed out because I'm not physically in order. I sit behind a desk at my job, then come home and sit behind a computer to write. I need to get more physically active, and the best way to do that is to get on that treadmill sitting in the computer room upstairs. I felt better, got sick less, and actually was less stressed and had better ideas for my writing when I was walking regularly. So I'm expanding the balance issue to my body as well as my mind and soul by getting back on the treadmill and integrating exercise into my life again.

6. Breaking Bad and Arrow are awesome shows. OMG! If you aren't watching these shows, you should be. Thanks so much to whoever it was that suggested Breaking Bad to Rick. We caught up on that show through Netflix and it's addictive! And Arrow, the new CW show based on The Green Arrow, has surprised me by hitting the ground running right in it's first season. I don't watch much TV (in fact, Supernatural is the only other show I do watch, and it's much better this season too), but these are worth checking out. Arrow and Supernatural come on The CW Wednesday nights at 8 and 9. Breaking Bad is a summer show that comes on AMC. Unfortunately, we don't get AMC through Dish TV, so we'll have to make arrangements to buy the 2013 season through our iTunes account and catch the episodes as they're released.

7. Skimping on sleep is counterproductive. I had a bad habit of staying up late to work on my writing, then getting up early for work the next day. It used to not bother me but, well, I'm not in my 20's anymore and skimping on sleep plus increasing job duties = bad idea. When Rick and I changed our work schedules in August, we decided that we needed to be serious about getting to sleep on time and getting a full night's rest so we could focus and be at our best the next day. So no more late nights for me. And you know what? I've actually been MORE productive since then, because I find I plan and utilize my time better (for example, I can do some pretty good writing and editing on my lunch hour if I take my laptop to work).

8. Transitions are tough, but once you've been hit with so many, you get numb. I learned this when our church lost our head pastor and associate pastor within a month earlier this year. Did it hurt? Yea, like hell. But I was amazed at how people seemed traumatized by it. At first I thought wow, that's selfish. Don't you want them to move ahead and better themselves? It's unfortunate they both left, but I couldn't begrudge either of them taking new opportunities and frankly, pastors are always going to move on eventually. Then it hit me: No, that's not it. It's just that after my life got smashed to smithereens in 2010 and I had to completely reconstruct it, losing two pastors was barely a blip on my radar. Other people hadn't seen the massive changes in their own lives that I'd just gone through, so this WAS major to them. And while we have certainly had to find new pastors plenty of times, it had been a while so frankly, we as a congregation were settled in and since we didn't see it coming, it was a shock to many. But to me shocks and adjustments had been a way of life for a while.

What I'll do with this knowledge: This was a good reminder of the concept of grace and of realizing that perspective is a personal thing. We all come from different places, and I believe this is a good illustration of how your experiences color your perception. Frankly, I'm still pondering this realization and what it means to me, and I really don't want to rush it because I think it's one that needs to sink in and grow strong roots in my own mind. But I think it's a good thing because one thing I already see is that we all handle things differently, and we need to be patient with one another and work together to help others and move forward. Where they are weak, we might be strong and where we are weak they might be strong. Working together, we can come through with a greater overall perspective. And it's a good lesson of faith too, as we work, wait, and look for a new leader for us.

I'm sure there are many more discoveries I've made during the year, but these are the big ones that spoke to me and are guiding me into my future. I hope that you'll also take some time to take stock and forge ahead into the new year using the confidence and wisdom you've gained through your experiences to keep moving ahead and making a better life, each and every day.

In closing, I believe today's benediction at church was a wonderful and beautiful sentiment that I wish all of you for the new year, and beyond:

"May you be filled with the wonder of Mary, the obedience of Joseph, the joy of the angels, the eagerness of the shepherds, the determination of the magi, and the peace of the Christ child. Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirigt bless you now and forever."

Amen. Bless you friends.I wish you all joy, peace, prosperity, and happiness and thank you for being there to listen, help and support me.

Happy New Year!

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