Category: Fiction

Fiction Vs. Reality

3/27/2014

Have you seen those posts on social media that say “You’re living in the last scene your read. Where are you?” Or “your life is the last TV show you watched. Where are you?” I know what my answer to both questions would be: someplace that makes a heck of a lot more sense than reality!

I don’t know about you, but I wholeheartedly agree that reality is stranger than fiction. Or at least, it’s more interesting. If only people were as clever as the Winchester brothers on Supernatural, or Lord Baleish and Tyrion Lannister on Game on Thrones. If only you should put on a hood and shoot arrows at people that don’t do what’s right. If only S.H.I.E.L.D. were really watching over us (but then again, perhaps it’s best that we don’t need to worry about interstellar and alien intruders!). It would be a lot more interesting if Thor and Iron Man were in the back woods instead of wildlife squabbling over scraps. Three dragons following me around would be absolutely amazing, as would vacations on the moons of Jupiter or Saturn. And oh, wouldn’t you rather have an exciting headline about terraforming Mars, or finding and exploring an Earth-like planet galexies away instead of the same old things about wars, rumors of wars, missing planes, and conspiracy theories?

One thing’s for certain: people tend to figure things out faster in fiction than in reality. The Winchester brothers on Supernatural have fighting demons down to an art, but in reality most of us don’t do well taking our own thoughts captive – much less demons! I don’t see my next door neighbors as Russian Spies from the 80’s when they can’t figure out that the dog is gonna bark all night if they put it out with the raccoons, opossums, owls, and feral cats pestering it. And who’s going to take an Iron Throne over seven kingdoms they keep putting money in the vending machine with “U O ME” sticky notes all over it? In fiction, people reason. In reality, people react. And not always in the wisest manner. Especially when they don’t read the instructions.

Oh well, it is what it is. Then again, that’s why we read: because the drama that’s made up is often more sensible than the drama we create in real life!

That’s all today. Have a Happy Friday and a great weekend.

Bye!

Signs That I'm Losing It

12/23/2013

I think we all have those signs that let us know we're completely burned out, and it's time for a break. Oh certainly, there are little warning signs here and there: you forget things, you mix things up, you make mistakes, you don't sleep enough (or you sleep too much) - but there's always that one, defining thing that finally smacks you hard enough to finally "get it." For me, it's strange dreams. But understand that they'd all be strange by a standard definition. So what do I call strange?

This time, it was being trapped in an episode of Arrow. Yep, I dreamed I was stuck in a TV show, and it only took watching Oliver Queen come running out in that green hood to wake me up and say yea, this 2 week break came at just the right time. I had it Friday night.

So yea, when I start dreaming of fiction becoming reality then I know I'm done. It's rare, but it happens when I'm at the end of the proverbial rope. I've dreamed Rick and I were stuck in an episode of Supernatural. I've dreamed of being stuck in a car with the main characters of Blurry (my YA novel) and Lex Luthor from Smallville. I think even The Avengers turned up once. Odd stuff. And while it's not unusual for that line between fiction and reality to blur in a writer, for it to invade your subconscious mind, well, it's still a bit much.

It should get better now, at least. Rick's root canal was finished without incident this morning. The infection is cleared up and the procedure is now complete. So finally, at last, after nearly two months of struggle, we have some resolution there. Thanks be to God. And we're both off work until January 6th, so hopefully we'll get some rest and get back on track over the next couple of weeks. I obviously need to!

And in the meantime, the ideas for the follow up to Move are still coming. This story is really forming and I think I'll be ready to write it come the new year. We'll see where that goes. Hopefully, I don't dream about it, at least. But I probably will. A writer's mind never stops creating, it seems, even when we sleep.

That's all today. I hope you're all doing well and that you have a safe and Merry Christmas!

Bye!

The Best Things I've Learned From Fiction

12/3/2013

For all of the lessons that life itself has taught me, I have to say that I've picked up some good tidbits from fiction as well. Whether it's from books, movies, or TV, I've learned a few things that have been invaluable in reality. They say truth is stranger than fiction, but I think it's more accurate to say that sometimes, fiction reflects truth all too well. For example:

1. Sometimes, you can never go back. We saw it in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, when Frodo returned to The Shire after his quest. He tried to return to life as it was before, but after all that he had experienced, he couldn't, and wound out sailing to the West. We saw it in the close of The Inheritance Cycle, where, after the enemy was finally defeated and peace was restored, Eragon elected to retreat to a realm outside of Alagasia because he needed time to process all that had happened to him on his own journey. We even saw it in the close of The Clone Wars when, after she was acquitted of murder, Ashoka refused the offer to return to The Jedi Order because "I have to work things out on my own now." Sometimes, the journey affects us in ways that makes it impossible to go back to the same old, same old. The hurts are too deep to fully heal, as it was with Frodo. The changes you go through are too big, and you aren't the same person, like with Eragon. You've see too much that you didn't know and need time to figure out who you are, as with Ashoka. I know these are the endings that readers/viewers don't like, but sadly it is reality sometimes. I know I've been through experiences that left me a different person, and I can say from experience that some things shift your paradigm too much to stay the person you were.

2. Yes, angels are sent to protect us, but it's best to stay out of their way. If you watch the TV series Supernatural, you know that angels haven't always been portrayed in the best light. While I'll admit that I believe the show creators have taken some literary license on their interpretation, I also feel that they're more right on some things than we'd be comfortable with admitting. You are aware that those beautiful angels in fur-lines robes that you see in the stores now are 100% fiction, right? Angels are warriors, and I can tell you that they aren't playing harps and singing all day. They're fighting demons and keeping us safe (both from the forces of hell against us and the messes we get ourselves in). And in case you haven't thought about it, they see all of creation (this world and "the next"), and they don't have the gift of free will. You better believe that their methods (if we knew them) would probably seem somewhat harsh and tough at times because their perspective is radically different from anything that we could possibly know or understand. Take a look in The Bible, and everybody that saw an angel fell on their face out of reverential fear. Yes, I believe angels are good. Yes, I believe they protect us. Yes, I love them. But I know well enough that they don't have time for mundane human crap when they're fighting the forces of hell. So I offer them my utmost respect, and get out of the way so they can do their job.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I refuse to put an angel on top of my Christmas tree, or to have them on my Christmas cards. They don't have time for that.

3. Fear is the greatest monster we face. I wasn't as impressed with The Green Lantern movie as I hoped to be, but they hit on an indisputable fact: the worst thing humanity faces is fear. Fear causes more problems than any other thing in this world. It keeps us from doing what we should be doing and puts us in ruts we aren't meant to be in. Fear is a trap that kills us slowly, from the inside out. The only way to have the life of fullness and abundance that we're supposed to have is to find our courage and move forward, despite our fear. And that is the hardest thing in the world to do.

4. Some people can't be saved. This is one I really don't like to admit, but sadly it's true. And while I've experienced the frustration of trying to help people and having them reject it, it took Arrow, the CW series now in it's second season, to realize that it's not personal, it's just fact. This really hit home when Detective Lance told Thea Queen that "The Hood" (as they called him in Season 1) had sent 26 people to his morgue, and that was two episodes before the season finale. I shuddered at that, because he was being marked as a killer and yet those were 26 people that he wanted to turn over to justice, but the circumstances didn't allow it - they tried to kill him or others in their escape.

This is an extreme example, of course. Most of us don't deal with organized crime or defending ourselves or others in life or death situations. But we do deal with trying to help people, and they reject our help, just to come to harm later. People reject our advice. They slap away a helpful hand. They deny those trying to help them to a better way, because correction hurts and they're comfortable with their own way, no matter how it hurts them or others. And really, as much as it hurts, we shouldn't be surprised. Even Jesus couldn't save them all. Why should we think we deserve a better track record?

5. Sometimes, the best way to flush out a leak is to flood it. When you suspect there's a busybody, traitor, or blabbermouth in your midst, the natural inclination is to zip it up and confide in a close circle of friends. And indeed, this is advice that I accepted - until I started watching Game of Thrones. Do you remember the time Tyrian Lannister suspected that someone on The Small Council was leaking things to the Queen (who was also his sister), so he told each member that he planned to marry off her daughter to a different person, then waited to see which one she chewed him out about? The guy he caught didn't think it was funny, but every other member of the council had to admit that it was a very clever ploy and they admired it. I did too, so I've tried it a few times. Folks, it works like a charm. And in this day of technological advances in communications, it works in about 2-4 hours. It's not a trick to overdo, and you certainly don't want to throw anything "real" that needs to remain under discretion. But throw out a tidbit here or there, and see what comes back. You'd be surprised at how fast people forget to play coy when they're hit with something unexpected that sets off their alarm bells.

Yes, it's amazing what you can learn from fiction. And maybe that's why we love it - because sometimes, we can learn valuable things about reality.

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Lighter Fare and Random Trivia

7/12/2013

The last few entries have been so serious. But it's Friday, and I think it's a great time to lighten up! So here's some fun stuff about me.

Remember a while back when I started this blog and did my "List of Second Favorites?" I did it at my previous blog on Writing.com and it was quite popular, so I copied it here when I started this blog. Well, I thought about doing a list of third favorites but frankly, I didn't come up with much. Here's what I got:

Color - Green (after pink and yellow)
TV Show - Breaking Bad (after Supernatural and Arrow)
Day of Week - Sunday (after Friday and Saturday)
Genre - Fantasy (after Sci-Fi and Mystery)
Hobby - Counted Cross Stitching. And here's where I tripped myself up, because I said it was third behind writing and reading. Then I realized oh yea, I'm an independent author. I believe the writing has elevated way above hobby phase. So that would put reading at my favorite hobby and cross stitching at second, with no time for a third at all in my life right now.

So that fun list fizzled out. And frankly, you're getting into the "who gives a crap" zone. So here's a few other things about me that perhaps you didn't know.

Did you know I'm a failed Christian writer? It's true. My first book, Battleground Earth - Living by Faith in a Pagan World, was published in 2004. It did okay for a little while, then flopped. I know, it's pretty pitiful to fail at THAT, but after a few years of failing to get real traction in that area, I took a short break and realized that I really like fiction and decided to try that. And the rest is, well, in progress. But so far, it's picked up faster and is rolling along better. And frankly, I enjoy writing fiction more. I don't count out inspirational forever, but the truth is that I have a few too many rough edges to be accepted as a Christian writer. It's fine. There are plenty of other things to write. The mystery is rolling along and I'm excited to be delving into sci-fi (which is my dream!) now. Who knows? Maybe I'll enter National Novel Writing Month someday. I'd certainly like to. It's just a matter of having the right ideas at the right time - which hasn't happened since 2010 when I wrote Splinter.

You know I like college football, especially the Southeastern Conference. I also like baseball.

I'm a lousy cook, which in the south is like missing a major limb or organ. Women around here LOVE to cook and experiment with recipes, but I just can't seem to do really well in the kitchen. I've tried, but after a while I realized that's why there are so many restaurants around. A lot of people don't believe it and say "well, you just don't LIKE to cook so you don't INVEST time to get better at it." No, that's not it. I really do suck. They don't understand that telling me "a sprinkle of this and a dash of that and cook it until it's done" is like me telling you that to write a novel you start at the beginning and write until you get to the end. We all have things we're bad at, and I'm afraid that's it for me. I can cook well enough for us to get by fine. And as for the holidays and covered dish functions, I'm happy to let the women graced with culinary skills take over and show me how it's done. So I'll have the cleanest house and office in the world, and let others take the cooking honors.

I used to like fishing. I actually took a course on how to fish through my previous department, and I did enjoy it. The problem is limited time and opportunities, and, much like cooking, I wasn't particularly good at it. It's been at least 5 years since I last did it. And frankly, that was also the time they took us to the range and taught us how to fire shotguns and some basic archery, and I liked both of those better than fishing.

I eat popcorn almost every day. I love the stuff! The birds love it too. We enjoy our "popcorn parties."

Speaking of our feathered friends, you know I love them. I get that from my granddaddy, who also loved birds. We were alone in this passion - most of the people in my family are cat people. In fact, my parents and my in-laws feed the feral cats around here. It's probably why their numbers keep growing and growing, and why my birds are getting used to watching cats walk through the yard all the time. But they don't venture too far, because the neighbors on the other side of us have 3 horses. Life outside of city limits is interesting. And as an additional note (that nobody believes), I've never had a dog. Ever. It's always been birds and cats for me.

I've never traveled outside of the continental United States. Of course, I had never gotten on an airplane until 2 years ago, so that could very well change in time. And speaking of my travels: I loved Arizona, I liked San Francisco, and I hated Miami. Arizona was red rock, blue sky, and beautiful weather in late winter. San Francisco was new and different. But Miami was too chaotic and the food was WAY too spicy and weird.

Okay folks, I think that's enough for one day. I hope this has been a good break from the fluff of fiction and the chaos of reality. Have a Happy Friday and a great weekend.

Bye!

Obscure Holidays

5/10/2013

I'm off work today for Confederate Memorial Day. Believe me, we got plenty of flack when they started giving us that day off as a holiday. It was actually part of the compromise for removing the Confederate Flag from the State House dome. As part of the deal, the flag was moved, and Martin Luther King, Jr., day and Confederate Memorial Day were added as official State Holidays (but I think State Employees are the only ones that actually close their offices on this day).

I know it's obscure, but before you start squawking tell me: Would you refuse a day off? I won't. Not even on principle. Plus, honestly, I think they're required to give us so many holidays a year and I think we just ran out of the major ones, so we had to move on to secondary ones to get the extra day in.

Well, a day off's a day off, and I plan to enjoy it. It gives me a chance to get some little things done that usually sit until they pile up to the point where I have to make time for them. That's good. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that efficient time management is a must for a busy lifestyle.

That's a good point to ponder on this extra day off. Somebody asked me recently how on earth I find time to write with a full time job. The short answer is efficient time management. I'm lucky that I was taught that in college, and it's one of the skills I've found most useful in my life. It isn't always easy, but the truth is that we make time for things that are important to us, whether we realize it or not. Writing nights and weekends is the obvious answer, but I have to admit that I make a fair amount of progress by taking my laptop to work and writing on lunch breaks too. It's only an hour, but if I do that two times a week then it's the equivalent to another weeknight of work. And another secret is that I don't watch much TV. I watch 3 shows during the fall season (Arrow, Supernatural, and The Americans - all come on the same night, so I can "block out" Wednesday nights for that), and 1 show during the summer (Breaking Bad). I look up news and weather online so I don't have to watch it on TV. And yes, occasionally I do forego recreation to get writing done. I've passed on watching football games, lunches out, and shopping or "hanging out" on days off like today to write. And I have to humbly admit that I even write on sick days, if possible. One reason I made good progress on my novella this week was because I was sick with a virus Monday, but I drug myself out of bed and wrote a chapter anyway. It isn't always easy, but with some planning you can make time for things.

I tell you, a busy life is a blessing. It's a life of abundance, but you have to manage it wisely to experience and enjoy it to the fullest.

Speaking of the novella, it has a name now - Incursion. It looks like it going to be 10 chapters with a prologue and epilogue. I know the pros recommend against prologues and epilogues, but I like it and that's my style. If people like the piece then they'll read it. Plus, I endeavor to keep them short. To me, they're the bookends of the story and I'm not going to abandon them just because it isn't popular. Platform shoes went out of style after the 70's, but darn if I don't see women wearing those atrocities again all the time. So there. Style is a poor reason to change something that works for you. Or to do something that doesn't work.

Anyway, I've written 5 chapters so far, which is excellent progress. More than I expected at this point, really. But alas, I did push myself to make this progress and my wrists are achey, so once I complete this entry then I do plan to take a break from the keyboard for the rest of today and tomorrow. You have to balance the planning and time management with common sense, and I won't make any progress at all if I push it too far with my wrist. So given my good progress this week, I'm using today to spend time with other people and things that I wish to nurture in my life. Like hanging out with the birds, tending my roses, and having lunch with Mom. A day off is a rare gift, and I want to enjoy it to the fullest.

That's all today. I hope you have a Happy Friday and that the mom's out there have a good Mother's Day.

Bye!

The Ultimate Fail?

12/20/2012

Did you know that I started out as a Christian inspirational writer – and failed?

It’s true. And by the way yes, I feel like a special kind of loser to fail at writing Christian books and devotions. Of all things – you think you’re doing a good, right thing and manage to screw it up anyway. Wow, I had to be a special kind of idjit to manage that, right?

Well, maybe not. As it turns out, God has plenty of preachers, teachers, and inspirational writer’s out there. And really, my style is too straight-forward and in your face to really speak to tender souls. It took me a few years to discover it, but it turns out I’m better at working “in the trenches,” side by side with regular folks, and my personality and knack for weaving a tale do fit in better with the fiction market. Truth be told, I like writing fiction better anyway. It’s more challenging, but it’s also a lot more fun. I love these stories. I turn them over in my mind all the time, trying to create just the right characters and put them in just the right world for the plot I have. Once it’s written, I wonder how they’d react to my world. I project them into real life and try to flesh them out and plop them back in the story with a little more meat on their bones. My world rattles and I make their world shake. It’s fun. It’s exciting. There’s nothing like it!

I’ve also found that my fiction work is received much better. It seems people are more receptive to a story when they’re free to take it and fit it in their own world; and that’s fine. I’d say that’s what writing fiction is all about – giving them glimpses of your world and letting them fit it in their own in the best way possible. A great story takes you other places, but imagination based on the reader’s world allows each one to see it differently. Readers have amazed me with their comments on some of the things they saw in my stories; things I didn’t even think about but they were able to see it because of their own experiences. Fiction is as much creative work for the reader as it is for the writer, and in a way that makes it a cooperative effort. Non-fiction tells it to you and you have to take it as is. Fiction opens a range of possibilities and allows the reader to run with it to places that you as a writer didn’t even dream possible. It opens the mind. It opens eyes, not just to your world but to the details of their own that they might miss. A good story lives on after the last page is clicked or turned and follows you back into reality. It makes you see things differently. It makes you imagine more.

So yes, I failed as a Christian writer but that doesn’t mean it was a total failure. I did learn a lot about writing and the publishing industry, so I went into my fiction forays with a great deal of background knowledge and was able to succeed at that much faster than it even took me to find a break in non-fiction. And I took that knowledge to a place where I do belong. Because truth isn’t limited to a genre. It comes through all places.

That’s all today. Happy Friday tomorrow. Have a great weekend.

Bye!

Office Politics - In Fiction and Reality

10/9/2012

I’m often asked if the things that happened to Jana Lanning in my recent novel, Anywhere But Here, actually happened to me. For those of you that haven’t read this novel, Jana Lanning, the protagonist, is denied admission to graduate school, finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her, helps her best friend get married and move out of town, and has to settle for a job that she’s overqualified for – and all of this happens within two weeks of getting her undergraduate degree. Then to make things worse, the office where she works starts a merger with another firm and Jana finds herself on the wrong end of office politics that are the final straw in her battle with depression. The thing people seem the most interested in are the office politics. People want to know if the happenings at Dixon Financial are reflective of my job before it was transferred to a new agency a couple of years ago.

In response to that I’d say not entirely, but I can’t deny that some things that happened to me early in my career are reflected in people and events that take place in the book. I know that’s cryptic, but bear in mind two things: The people and events are fictionalized and that was accomplished through a mixture of my personal experiences, experiences I’ve seen and heard of from other people, and instances I’ve read about in books, magazines, news and other media. It came from a vast pool and I’ll admit that I had experience with being on the wrong end of office politics – heck, how could you write about it even from a fictionalized perspective unless you lived it in some way – but it’s also a universal issue that anybody working in an office environment is going to be on one end or the other of. And sorry folks, but there are probably going to be times when you find yourself on the wrong side, at least from the perspective of the majority.

My purpose in both writing Anywhere But Here and this entry isn’t to bash my former workplace. These things happened a decade ago, and I must admit that I said and did things that weren’t wise and didn’t lead to the best resolution in the situations I faced. I certainly learned from those experiences and in retrospect, I’m glad I learned those lessons early in life or I certainlywouldn’t be where I am now. The purpose is to share lessons learned, because this is something that I believe everybody in the workforce faces at some time. It makes you feel isolated and lonely when it happens, but the truth is that you aren’t alone. Lots of people face it but few talk about it because frankly, it’s embarrassing.

I used to think that people playing office politics were selfish jerks that like to hurt people, but experience has shown me that it actually grows from a root of fear. People that play with power are insecure and doubt their own ability, so they create an elaborate game of turning people and things to their advantage. I’ve found that there are 2 good ways to identify a person that is likely to use power to their advantage:

1.They cling tightly to cliques that are made up of people that are higher on the chain of command than they are; and

2.They don’t associate with anybody on the chain of command below them unless it’s absolutely necessary - and those people better give them what they want immediately or it’s insubordination.

It’s the people in category #2 that usually find themselves on the losing end of office politics because any wrong word or deed will be met with fierce retaliation. I won’t say that I never see office politics anymore, but I have found that I find myself in these situations a lot less since I’ve been reclassified to a mid-level position. I’d like to think this is because I’ve proven that my knowledge and abilities are valuable, but it’s more likely that I learned valuable lessons on how to deal with these types from previous experience – and people know it.

So what’s the secret to dealing when you’re the victim of office politics? If you’re right, stand by that. Don’t ever cave in and take the quick and easy way out because that’s a temporary end. If they’d turn on you once, they’ll turn on you again. Caving in only shows that you can be taken advantage of, and they will milk that dry, plus the consequences of doing wrong will follow you a lot longer than standing up for what’s right. They might not like you, but they’ll respect you and at least know not to let you catch them with their hand in the cookie jar again. If you aren’t right, correct yourself immediately and stick to your guns in walking down the right road. And whichever situation you’re in, it’s imperative that you have patience. Truth will show itself in time and it will be end game then. It might take months or even years for things to come around, but they will and you’ll be better off for it. The reward will come in patient endurance, and it will be something that nobody can deny. Sure, there are people that are so stubborn that they’ll refuse to change their mind no matter what happens, but don’t worry about them. Leave them in their ignorance and move on because it’s highly probably that they’ll be gone in time themselves.

I believe Jana Lanning in Anywhere But Here is a good personification of office politics gone wrong, because she’s the one in the weakest position. She didn’t do anything wrong and in fact suffered for doing right, but recent personal losses kept her from taking a stand in the right way and the right timing. The people that create these situations are masters at turning things against you even if you didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s exhausting to constantly defend your own character. Unfortunately, she found this out too late and suffered the consequences of crossing the wrong people simply by being who she was and not deferring to people doing things wrong. She was right and had proof of it, but she didn’t know how to present that truth in a combative work environment. That happens sometimes, and it’s awful. I think the worst offence in the world is to have to suffer for other peoples’ mistakes, and office politics are the ultimate example of that.

I think this is why eople tell me that they find Jana Lanning so likeable. She’s a good person that doesn’t deserve the hard knocks that come her way from people taking advantage of her shy nature, youth, and inexperience. She makes the same mistakes that all of us made in our early adulthood and we understand her confusion at why life is kicking her around. Reality is a hard teacher, and it’s the only one that can do the job once school leaves off. Remember the movie “St. Elmo’s Fire” from the 80’s? That strange, new world opening up is the exact thing that Jana faces, and we understand exactly where she’s coming from. She, like the rest of us, has to learn to find those gems of opportunity in the rubble of defeat to rebuild a new life from shattered dreams. In some ways, we may even relate to her right where we’re at, because life is always teaching us lessons.

So no, I didn’t start out in life exactly like Jana did. I actually did marry my college sweetheart, but I never made it to graduate school because I found other things that I believed were worth more in my life than higher education. I never struggled with depression, but I knew (and still know) many who do battle that demon, and I hope Jana’s struggle helps people with depression understand that this is a battle they can win if they stay in the fight. But yes, I did go through an office merger in my early years in the workforce, and I found myself prey to the power plays, albeit in much different circumstances. All I can say is that wisdom comes from experience, and I gained plenty in those few years.

And lest you think it’s impossible for poor Jana to face so much at one time, I call your bluff. Too much smashing my life to bits was the catalyst for my next novel, Splinter – but that’s one for a future blog entry. I’ll address it closer to the release date in mid 2013. Until then, enjoy Anywhere But Here and my other books - information on them and links to buy are on the other tabs of this website. I hope you find entertainment and inspiration in them.

That’s all today.

Bye!

Common Sense

8/6/2012

Folks, I was informed today that a committee member I've been emailing for a week - and even scheduled for a meeting - died. I felt like such an idiot! At first I thought "maybe he's on vacation" and let it go. Then late last week, I wondered briefly if I could call but, of course, all manner of other things needed my attention and that thought flew away with the wind. I should have stopped for that moment and followed up on it, but I just didn't. And today when I sent out the meeting invitation one of the other committee members sent out a broadcast message that the guy died last week with a copy of the obituary.

I felt like such an idiot. I know, Rick told me I shouldn't. How would I have known, anyway? We haven't taken the newspaper in over 5 years and even when we did, we never checked the obituaries because, well, in our 30's why would we? But I still felt silly, and that little voice that told me to call last week has been saying "see? you should have done it!" all day.

Oh well, at least I didn't email him a copy of his own obituary. I did do that once and have to say that was more embarassing. At least I remembered the note to myself from that incident today: Update the email group list BEFORE you forward the message.

I won't lie to you - I'm one of those people that was heavy on the book sense and light on the common sense growing up. I was teased endlessly about it. In fact, I know the reason I get irritated with older people being helpless and getting duped is because these were the very same people that were telling me I needed to "wise up to the ways of the world or all that education isn't gonna do you a bit of good in the real world" 15-20 years ago. I graduated in the top of my high school class and graduated college with honors, but learning to drive was hell for me - so much so that Dad sat me down and had a talk with me about how I had to learn to drive because there's no public transit in this town, and "functional adults drive." It really was awful. On top of struggling with common sense I'm also helplessly clumsy, and getting coordinated enough to drive - it took me about a year to get it. Yea, a year. My friends got their permit and were driving like pros after 2-3 months, and it took me a year. And even longer to do it well, without scaring the hell out of everybody in the car with me. Don't even ask me abou the abuse I took for it too, especially in driver's ed. The teacher made no bones about the fact that I might be a whiz in the classroom, but he thought I was a dumbass in the real world. He really was a jerk, by the way. As were my classmates. But thankfully I'm too old for teen angst. I did grow up. And I did grow some sense too.

I credit three things with this: Marriage, home ownership, and a job in a regulatory agency. Those three things will give you plenty of experiences that lend to wisdom very quickly. Relationships take work - more than you ever realize! Home ownership is a huge responsibility that requires a certain amount of organization, practicality, and saavy. And a job working with applying legislation to real life? That will stretch your brain, because you spend as much time blockading the people looking to exploit every loophole as you do applying it to the cooperative people/situations. I still have my moments - like emailing dead people - but my peers and colleagues have them too, and we aren't embarassed about it. In fact, things like this just help you get wiser.

I think this is why I'm always putting the characters in my novels in situations where they have the book smarts but not the "street smarts" to know what to do when their conflict arises. Part of the journey that every one of my protagonists have gone through is a realization that others don't share their knowledge/beliefs/morals and they have to decide what to do about it. Many of their journies have paralleled my own and I believe it's because they're issues that all of us face at one point or another. Because eventually life is going to take that unexpected turn, and we have to decide whether to fight it, accept it, or mine it for possibilities that we might not have planned for but are willing to accept as greater opportunity. Or we'll have to deal with people doing something against our morals because it's easier than doing what's right, and they're going to ridicule us as an idealist if we don't go along with the game (or worse yet, agree to take the blame if it all falls apart - yep, I've been there). Or we'll have to decide if we want to step out and take a chance on achieving a dream, or let the fear of failure keep us stuck in place. And we all have to decide - are we willing to work hard to make our dreams come true and make some sacrifices, or will we stay where we are, hoping somebody or something will come along to give us a "big break"? Because, as a colleague said last week, nothing in life is free, except God's love and the DMV manual. And some ebooks in the public domain and written by generous independent authors.

I'm not sure where the DMV manual came from - perhaps because she had a daughter getting ready to apply for her driver's permit. But anyway ...

I will agree that common sense is important, but I'm still one that believes that the "education and experience" work together. The book sense gives you the foundation you need. Because we all know that life isn't fair, and that the unexpected happens, and that sometimes people just don't like you, and that if something can go wrong then it will, and at the worst possible time. The Bible even says "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all." (Ecclesiastes 9:11) These truths we know - but it's wisdom that tells us what to do when we actually face these situations. What do you do when you're passed over for the promotion? What do you do when somebody asks you to alter this or that financial report 'just a little?' What do you do when a friend betrays you and throws you under the bus for a mistake they made, but they lied and made it look like you did it? What do you do when you're on a date and the guy yells the cop that pulled him over for speeding, which sets off that voice in your head that says "geez, he has a temper. I'm not comfortable being around him?" And then he asks you out on another date and you don't want to go, but he's already been pissed off once tonight and you're afraid to say no? Book smarts tell you it CAN happen. Common sense tells you what to do when it DOES happen.

And in closing - yes, I did have someone send a message to a dead person in one of my novels. It happened in Splinter, which will be released through Whiskey Creek Press next year. Tune in for that and more fictionalized shenanagins in the ongoing progression of my writing.

That's all today. Have a great week.

Bye!

The Villians Make the Story

4/10/2012

I'd like to expand on something I said in my last blog entry about how "the villians make the story." We don't actively think about, but it's true that without the villians there would be no story - not in real life or in fiction. That's one thing they share in common. After all, where's the excitement in just another day? There's not much, is there? In fact, we have a term for long periods of time without resistance. We call it a rut.

That's not to say that problems are desirable. Heck no. I could do with fewer "adventures" in my life, truth be told. But the fact of the matter is that we grow when we have resistance. It's the tough times, struggles, and pain in the butt people where we learn and grow the most. That's not a truth many of us want to face, but it is a truth. Look back over your life, and I'll be the times you learned the most were during your greatest struggles. It was true for me. I took a lot of lessons from those instances I described in my last entry. I learned how to stand up for myself, how to stand up for what's right, and how to deal with fragile egos (because frankly, a lot of those problems went to a root of fragile egos addicted to approval). I learned not to fear change and to have confidence in myself and my abilities no matter what other people thought or said about me, and that strength gave me the confidence to build a house, successfully move to and integrate into a new office, and to publish 4 books (and some inspiration for said books too). To put it bluntly, manure is a fertilizer and fertilizer makes things grow. If you learn from your experiences and use those lessons to better yourself then you will be prepared for greater blessings ahead. So think of the crap you deal with as the stimulus to grow your spirit and take you to new heights.

I know, that's not a pretty metaphor. Frankly, it stinks. (Oh, another bad joke). But it's relevant and you have to admit that it's not a cliche comparisome. And you won't forget it either, will you?

Anyway, back to the point ...

I believe the series finile of "Smallville" hit it close to the mark when Lex Luthor told Clark Kent "I used to think your friends defined a man. But it's actually enemies that define a man." I believe that's a bit extreme and one sided, but it has a grain of truth. Our enemies, or rather the people we find ourselves clashing with and struggling against, do have a certain amount of definition to our own lives because they are often dark images of ourselves. I've blogged in previous entries about how each of us tends to be a magnant for people that are our polar opposite and that the people we struggle with tend to have a common root issue - for example, with me it seems there are always jealous, petty people around. I can't seem to get rid of them. And the reason I struggle with them is because I want to be my best and help others be their best. Therein lies my own Lex Luthor. We all have one and if you look at the people you're in strife with, I'll bet you'll see that same dark image of yourself in them. The real story and lessons lie in how we deal with them. Do you fight to win, stand your ground, or swat them away like a bug and keep on keeping on. There is no one right answer becase it depends on who and what you're dealing with. I had to stand my ground and occationally fight the last ones in my life, but the answer for the present ones seems to be ignoring them. Just keep doing my thing and let them seeth and have their pity party all alone because I'm busy and have stuff to do.

That's why every experience is different. It's because you can have the same situation and a different answer due to the context of the situation. The last jealous people I dealt with feared confrontation and avoided it, so fighting forced them to do something they found so unpleasant that they'd back off. But the ones in my life now live for and absolutely love the fight and the challenge it brings. They hate to be ignored - so I ignore them. As I said before, different context = different solution. And the same principle applies in fiction as in real life.

Yes, the villians do make the stories. It's provides the catalyst to grow and learn in real life. It provides the plot in fiction. Because without villians, there is no story. There is no growth. there is no spark to life.

So don't be too hard on those pain in the butt people. After all, they can be quite useful if you know how to utilize them correctly. In fiction and in reality.

That's all for today. Take care and have a good week.

Bye!

Random Musings

8/20/2011

Hi everybody; I hope you're having a great weekend. Today is kind of a slow going day for me, which is refreshing. It's nice to not be rushing around all day!

My wrist is feeling better, and I'm glad it healed quickly because I've had a lot of writing ideas lately. Over the past couple of weeks, I've done some flash fiction, some non-fiction, and now I have ideas for two more pieces. One will be fiction and the other is non-fiction/inspirational. I'm glad that I'm inspired to write things in different genres. One thing I don't want is to be a one-trick wonder. I like writing in a variety of genres and styles. Although fiction is my favorite, I'm pleased that my inspiration for the non-fiction work that got me started seems to be returning. I'm probably rusty in that area, but I'll brush up. I do believe it's time to make my muse evolve and to embrace both fiction and non-fiction as fully as possible!

Tomorrow is Rick's birthday, and my birthday is next Friday (August 26th). I think Rick is a bit down about getting another year older - you know, the whole magic of birthdays is kind of lost after you turn 21. But honestly, my age isn't bothering me too much. I know mid-30's bother a lot of people, and from time to time I do ask myself how the hell I got to turning 36 in a week. But by and large, I have to say that I don't feel old. Wiser, definitely, and extremely grateful for that. More life experience to draw on, which is a good thing. Wishing I looked more like I did 10 years ago but Rick still compliments me so I guess I'm still in "average" range with the looks, which isn't bad. But not old. No, I'm not feeling the mid-life crisis right now. Guess I'll have to have it later.

But I would like to take this opportunity to publiclly wish Rick a Happy Birthday tomorrow.

It hasn't been as hot lately, and I'm grateful. A lot of people are saying they're ready for summer to be over so this hot weather will pass. Yes, it's been brutally hot, but truthfully I'm not eager to see summer go. Why? What would we be wishing away. Extreme heat for what - extreme cold? No thanks. Actually, I hate the cold, so I'll cope with the heat. And as I said, it's been more seasonable lately, so it hasn't been bad. So no, I don't want to see summer go. I still like it. I like the sunshine and long days, the green plants and blue sky, and the fact that the world is still alive. And there's something almost charming about a summer storm. In fact, I believe one is brewing now. I hear wind and thunder.

Well, that's all today. Just some random musings. I hope you're having a good weekend. Take care. More later.

Bye!