Category: Family

This and That

6/8/2014

I’m on a quest. The undertaking: get Nonstop to Nowhere complete and turned in for the Nightlife Anthology and a good, solid fourth draft of Obsidian done before our schedule fills up again in late June. That gives me a couple of weeks to make some good progress on my current writing endeavors without rushing through them. But isn’t that the trick, because once I get in, I want to keep going as long as I can before time runs out or my eyes feel like they’re going to fall out of my head. It’s a balance of attentiveness and patience, because you writers know how it is. Once you’re in a “groove” you don’t want to get out of it – so you wind out rushing when you meant to slow down and pay attention. I can do it. I know I can.

So we upgraded our phones, and I downgraded my alarm clock. Sometimes top of the line, high tech works for you, and sometimes it doesn’t. I envy those of you that have had the same alarm clock for 20 years, because I’m lucky to get 3 years out of mine. I even had one to start burning in the middle of the night! (I had a really good excuse for oversleeping and missing church the next day.) I don’t understand why alarm clocks die on me, but sometimes it’s better to accept what is and give up figuring it out. From now on, I’m not investing much in alarm clocks. I got a simple one from Best Buy for $20. Watch it last through the Apocalypse now that I wrote this paragraph and posted it online.

On the homefront: Rick, Zack and Chloe are doing well, as is my family. Mom and Dad are both enjoying Dad’s retirement. They say it’s good to have time home together without him being stressed out over long work days and deadlines. He still does an occasional project here and there, but it’s not full time – heck, it’s barely part-time, and they’re enjoying life. Rick’s father is a yo-yo. Between the recent brain surgery and dementia, it really is a “guess where it’s at today” game. Therapy continues and some days are better than others, but we’re told that’s to be expected. At least he’s been moved to a unit that specializes in dementia care – such as it is. I’m starting to see why the elderly complain about their medical care, because doctors definitely don’t seem to know what to do for them, especially where dementia is concerned. That’s been an uncomfortable realization that makes me more than a little nervous. But everywhere else things are rolling along this day much as any other, and we’ll take that.

It’s come to my attention through, shall we say, “alternative means” that some people aren’t sure “how to take me.” Straight is the best way, just like wine or whiskey. ;) Seriously, I know I’m a hard nut to crack, and I’ll share a secret with you on why: I’m a borderline introvert/extrovert. I know, of all the characteristics to be borderline on, it’s the one that probably has the biggest impact on character. Sometimes I don’t know what end of that fence I’ll fall on in a given day, so I understand that figuring me out is probably more work than people are used to doing. For this reason, I’m not exactly a popular person, and the “in” crowd doesn’t have much appeal to me, and I tend to be a type that stands alone and socializes here and there with lots of different people. But really, it shouldn’t be that much harder. Like all other people, I have a lot of interests, and it isn’t that hard to draw me out, whether I’m having an isolated day or an outgoing day. I even have a cheat sheet on some ways to get me chattering on the “About Me” tab on this website. Yes, I’m unique, but not impossible.

I’m making good progress reading through the A Song of Ice and Fire series. I’m about halfway through Book 4 now (A Feast for Crows). Game of Thrones fans, you really should read these books. They’re amazing. I know 5 books in a series looks like a lot, but you get hooked and read through it fast. Of course, my progress may slow down now that I’m diving into my writing and then things will get busy again late month, but we’ll see. If I keep my intended pace, I may have time to read, write, and keep things moving. It’s possible now that my TV shows are in reruns (except Game of Thrones, which only has 2 episodes left in their season).

And no conversation is complete without a mention of the weather. Well folks, it’s hot and dry in central South Carolina. Highs in the low to mid 90’s and the skys have closed up. After several weeks of daily rain in May, June has us parched. That’s typical for us. I’ll take the heat, though. All that snow, ice, and “polar vortex” crap over the winter was stupid. I’m southern, so I’m built to slow cook, not deep freeze. At least the world is alive in the hot sun with blue sky and green trees everywhere. I’ll take that over the chill and gloom of winter. But the thing I like best are the long days. Sunrise at 6:30 a.m. and sunset at 8:30 p.m.? Heck yes, I’ll take that. I love long, hot days! That’s when the world really does feel alive. One challenge I face, though, is with my work on Obsidian. That story takes place in January, so weaving a tale where you can feel the darkness of the story is kind of hard when reality is approaching the height of summer. I’ll work it out. No worries.

So there you have where it’s at in my world – just this and that, and all is well. I’m happy with where it’s at and I can’t complain. Life is good. I hope you’re all doing well. Take care, and have a great weekend.

Bye!

Miscellaneous Fun Stuff

3/8/2014

Look at that group! It must be trouble! No seriously, that's my family. Dad retired last week, and they had his retirement party yesterday. This is the first picture of the whole family since Rick and I got married, and that will be 16 years ago this may! Seated left to right is Rick, me, Mom & Dad. Standing left to right is my sister-in-law, Nicole, and my brother, Stephen (he looks serious because he's a CPA). We're really happy for Dad. If anybody deserves a good retirement, it's him. He's worked since he was 12 years old, and has spent at least my entire lifetime building his business. He's the perfect example of self discipline. I tell you, those three guys in that picture are the hardest working, most dedicated, and most self-disciplined people I know. They inspire people, no doubt. It's why I'm plugging on with my dream of being an independent author even with a full time job - because I've seen that good things happen when you work hard and don't give up!

On the other hand, I also feel for the employees left behind. It's tough when the boss leaves. Things always change. I've been to a lot of retirement parties, but it was so obvious that those guys were sad to see him go. I could tell they were genuine in their praise and well wishes, and that they miss him. But they're in good hands. Great hands, really, because Dad's partner is every bit the hard worker and has the dedication to keep it going well. They're a great group and I know they'll do well.

In other news, my writing exploded this week. No, my laptop didn't spontaneously combust! I mean, the inspiration and ideas blew up and I accomplished a lot - probably more this week than in the previous month! My story for the Writer's Co-op Anthology, Nonstop to Nowhere, is finally in a form that I'm happy with, and I did some great revisions on it this week. I plan to have it ready for professional editing by April, but I want to do some more work on that between now and then. In other words, I'm not done tinkering with it yet! For now, take a look at this great promotional cover they released recently! I'm excited about this project and will keep you updated on the progress.

My other writing project, the sequel to Move titled Rearview Mirror, really took off this week. I wrote 4 chapters, and planned out the rest of the plot. God willing, if creeks don't rise, with luck, knock on wood, I hope to have the rough draft done by the end of March. It's finally taking off and moving in a direction I like. I've been a little frustrated with this one, because it's only been coming to me in bits and pieces since I started it on New Year's Day, but thank the Lord, I finally had the breakthrough to see the bigger picture and get it together this week! So far, so good. I'm running with it while I can. And, of course, I'll keep you posted.

If you've been on Facebook, then you probably noticed that this picture of Zack and Chloe was the profile picture at the Feathered Friends page. They're the birds of the week and are entered in a monthly contest for Parrots magazine. I'm so proud of my little winners! I put them on the steering wheel of my parents golf cart so they'd stand close enough together for me to take it. In reality, these guys have "personal space" issues - as in, they usually stay at least 2 inches apart. They do chatter back and forth a lot. Who can explain it! But I am happy they won that. It was a good pick-me-up after losing their baby brother last week. They've done good, except they've been a lot more clingy lately. But then again, we cling to them too, so it's kind of a "chicken or the egg" situation.

So that's it - the miscellaneous fun stuff that was my week. Maybe not as interesting and photogenic as my Misc Fun Stuff board on Pintrest but meh, that's life for you. Maybe this silly video from days gone by will make it all more interesting.

That's all today. I hope you have a great rest of the weekend and an excellent start to the new week.

Bye!

For Our Friends

12/1/2013

I know people always say "the holidays are about family!" but the sad truth is that some people don't have a good relationship with their family. I know I've been fortunate to have a good family, but I'm also aware that some are torn asunder by dysfunction, disagreement, strife, or estrangement. And it seems I hear a lot of those stories this time of the year. Or worse yet, see them for myself. Awkward!

I know you say I can't understand because I haven't been there, and you're right. But I can still care, and I do. Sometimes, you need a little help from your friends. And the truth is that even if you do have a good family, they can't be everything to you all the time. You need friends. You need peers and an extended network to support you. People were created to be in relationships with one another, and that isn't limited to blood. Caring knows no bounds.

People suck. God knows, they can let you down, and it seems those closest to you can stick the knife in the deepest. I think that's why God gave us extended relatives, friends, colleagues, and a vast network that can, with the Internet, literally stretch all over the world.

Nobody's perfect, and we all get plenty of practice in the struggle with forgiveness and setting boundaries. But I will say this: all it takes to get my support is a good heart. I'm not one that can be bribed by favors, goodies, or flattery. Rick isn't either. Words are meaningless to us. We try to see the heart and honest intentions. If you're really and truly trying to do what's right with best intentions, you have a trustworthy friend in us. We do value people more than things, or position, or power. People are what matter. And you don't have to be blood to mean the world to us. Just last night, we were talking about how we missed seeing a couple that we haven't been able to see in a while due to schedule conflicts.

Today, I'd like to tell all of our friends out there that we do care and love you. We don't say it much, but we want you to know that we're here if you need us. Maybe we do or don't "get it," but we certainly want to support you. We promise we'll try to suck a little less for our friends!

So to the members of Mt. Tabor Lutheran Church, to Joe and Elizabeth, to Chris and Jackie, to extended family, to colleagues past and present and the connections we've made with counterparts in other agencies, states, or even countries, to my writing buddies, to our followers on Twitter, Facebook, Google, Goodreads, and everywhere online - we love you guys! We hope you had a great Thanksgiving and that the Holiday season is merry, bright, and festive for you.

Geeze, for a hermit in the woods, we sure know a lot of people. I guess that's what happens when you leave the house.

Take care all, and have a great week. Safe travels to those of you heading home from Thanksgiving adventures today.

Bye!

People, Past and Present

10/27/2013

Yesterday, Rick and I met with some friends from my high school. We haven't seen them since we got married over 15 years ago, and it was great to reconnect. Not only did we share some great memories, but we discovered that we've grown to have similar interest. Not surprising, as they're interest that started the friendship all those years ago and we discovered that they've evolved as we've grown in similar ways.

It was a sharp contrast to the twinge I felt today when I started to check my door for an Avon catalog and realized: I don't have to do that anymore. The friend that delivered my Avon is wrapping up her business this week. There won't be any more catalogs to check for. No more phone conversations placing orders, or Wednesday evening chats when she makes her delivery. Sure, she lives close by, but what kept us in regular contact is gone. And I miss her already.

There's something about this time of year that reminds me of people that have touched my life. I know there's a Celtic belief that the "spirit world" is closest to our own at Halloween. I'm not sure - maybe it's so. After all, we did find ourselves talking about a member of our class that passed away a couple of years ago. It seems we've all had instances that reminded us of her this past week. I also find myself thinking of my maternal grandparents a lot this time of year as well - no doubt because my granddaddy had a birthday on October 7 and passed away on October 23.

Certainly, we miss those that have passed out of our lives, whether through death or through a change of seasons that separate us from them. Life is change, and people come and go, just as circumstances do. And as I get older, I can see how the people I knew before have influenced how I live and relate to people now. For example, I fully believe I'm a writer because of my maternal grandparents and a great aunt - my grandfather's sister, specifically, who gave me my first bookshelf and, along with my parents and grandparents, made sure it was always fully stocked with plenty of books. They told me stories from their lives, too, and I've always loved for people to tell me their personal stories. I wonder what they'd think if they knew that Splinter gave one of my beta readers nightmares about dark matter ripping their house apart. They'd laugh or head smack one - who knows which? They'd also tell me to make sure my readers know that if they're prone to nightmares, then it might be best not to read any of my books before bedtime.

Other people have influenced me, too. My Avon friend and a couple of other ladies I was friends with at my former job taught me a lot about friendship. I learned to accept people for who they are, and to appreciate the common interests you share. Nobody will agree with you on everything, or share all of your interest, but that's just the point - people are different and friendships are built on celebrating people as unique individuals, both for what you share, and for what you learn from those differences. These are lessons that I'm sure have led me to getting along with my current colleagues better, and in connecting with new friends.

Yes, everybody touches our life in one way or another, and if you look hard enough, I'm sure you'll see how those influences have helped you develop, grow, learn, and connect with others.

That's all for today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

Ebbs, Downswings, and Deserts

8/2/2013

We all go through those spells when it seems you can’t get anything going. I’ve heard them called many things. C.S. Lewis referred to it as “The Law of Undulation” in The Screwtape Letters. He describes it as the cyclical nature of live to swing between highs and lows, and the theory that we’re always somewhere on that arc. Sara Ban Breathnach refers to it as “The Ebb” in Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. She compares it to the ebb and flow of the ocean tide, and how life goes through seasons of great abundance followed by seasons of stagnation. I’ve heard many Christians refer to these times as “desert seasons,” comparing it to the Hebrew’s 40 years of wandering in the desert prior to coming into the Promised Land. Others call it “the darkness before the dawn.” Whatever you call it, you know how frustrating it can be when you work so hard, day in and day out, and see – nothing.

They’re all right. There are times when life seems like a runaway train and times when you think you’ll have to get out and push this hunk of junk somewhere – anywhere! – except even that probably wouldn’t get you anywhere. It’s frustrating. It’s irritating. And it’s just as much a part of life as the rising and setting of the sun.

Sure, we know that they’re actually periods of slow building to the next blessing on the way, but it’s tough to keep your motivation when all you get is “keep working” and no indication of how close you are to a breakthrough. It’s easy to get discouraged, angry, or frustrated. Many people give up, disillusioned by the deception that things will never change and falling into the trap of actually prolonging their suffering when relief would have been right around the corner had they not abandoned hope. Because if you look at all the descriptions I listed above, you’ll notice they have one thing in common: they all point to a payoff in the end. However stagnant things might seem, remember that the nature of the universe is change. It’s impossible for things to stay the same forever. It just doesn’t happen. So naturally, if you hang in there and keep working hard, you’ll eventually see a breakthrough. It brings truth to the encouragement in Galatians 6:9 which reminds us: “Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.”

So how do you keep the hope in these seasons of stagnation? I’m in one of those seasons now, and I can say from experience that it’s tricky. You can post all the inspirational verses in the world all over your house, office and car, but that discouragement and frustration will still come. I fight it every day, in one way or another. Giving up isn’t an option, because I only need to look at my recent past to see that too much good is building up to abandon it. I’m determined to see it through. It’s a vicious cycle because I get frustrated with not seeing progress, and then I get frustrated with myself for losing patience and getting frustrated. That’s one thing about walking in faith – you know what’s right and true, and you get irritated with yourself when your humanity rises to the surface and causes you to get irritated with the challenges before you, knowing that you’re called to walk in patience and that you’re losing it. It’s a constant spiritual battle. I don't know that I'll ever be able to "embrace the ebb" as Breathnach suggests in her November 1st entry.

I think the secret to winning the battle and “fighting the good fight” is that you have to find things that speak peace to your soul. These are the days when the small things as Zechariah 4:10 tells us not to despise are building up to the big blessings of tomorrow. So I give thanks for the blessings I have, and I take advantage of every opportunity, no matter how small it may seem. It’s worked to get me this far, and I know that if I keep walking in this way then it will build up to the next flow in my life. Just today, I found encouragement in an email that Whiskey Creek Press has assigned an editor to Splinter. My first sci-fi novel is on it's way to becoming a reality.

And so, I keep doing my best at all that’s set before me. I do all I can to make things the best I can. I enjoy my husband, birds, home, family and friends. I keep my eyes open to opportunity and prayerfully consider everything before me. I'll work with the good folks at Whiskey Creek Press to make Splinter the best it can be and proudly deliver it to readers in November. I delight in the small things, from the first cup of coffee in the morning, to time writing, to watching a movie, or reading a book, or taking a walk during my lunch break, because if I’m doing all I can then I should enjoy breaks and blessings whenever I have a chance. And I go through each day the best I can, knowing that it will build up to the next blessing in due season.

I often hear people say “God is never late, so be patient!” It’s a good thing He isn’t, and that our times are in His hands. Otherwise, we’d truly be in trouble, because our lack of foresight of the “big picture” would always have us rushing around after we know not what.

Where there’s life, there’s hope – so if you woke up alive this morning, then keep the faith. His mercies are new every morning and you never know which one will bring the next flow in your life.

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and I hope you have a great weekend.

Bye!

Obscure Holidays

5/10/2013

I'm off work today for Confederate Memorial Day. Believe me, we got plenty of flack when they started giving us that day off as a holiday. It was actually part of the compromise for removing the Confederate Flag from the State House dome. As part of the deal, the flag was moved, and Martin Luther King, Jr., day and Confederate Memorial Day were added as official State Holidays (but I think State Employees are the only ones that actually close their offices on this day).

I know it's obscure, but before you start squawking tell me: Would you refuse a day off? I won't. Not even on principle. Plus, honestly, I think they're required to give us so many holidays a year and I think we just ran out of the major ones, so we had to move on to secondary ones to get the extra day in.

Well, a day off's a day off, and I plan to enjoy it. It gives me a chance to get some little things done that usually sit until they pile up to the point where I have to make time for them. That's good. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that efficient time management is a must for a busy lifestyle.

That's a good point to ponder on this extra day off. Somebody asked me recently how on earth I find time to write with a full time job. The short answer is efficient time management. I'm lucky that I was taught that in college, and it's one of the skills I've found most useful in my life. It isn't always easy, but the truth is that we make time for things that are important to us, whether we realize it or not. Writing nights and weekends is the obvious answer, but I have to admit that I make a fair amount of progress by taking my laptop to work and writing on lunch breaks too. It's only an hour, but if I do that two times a week then it's the equivalent to another weeknight of work. And another secret is that I don't watch much TV. I watch 3 shows during the fall season (Arrow, Supernatural, and The Americans - all come on the same night, so I can "block out" Wednesday nights for that), and 1 show during the summer (Breaking Bad). I look up news and weather online so I don't have to watch it on TV. And yes, occasionally I do forego recreation to get writing done. I've passed on watching football games, lunches out, and shopping or "hanging out" on days off like today to write. And I have to humbly admit that I even write on sick days, if possible. One reason I made good progress on my novella this week was because I was sick with a virus Monday, but I drug myself out of bed and wrote a chapter anyway. It isn't always easy, but with some planning you can make time for things.

I tell you, a busy life is a blessing. It's a life of abundance, but you have to manage it wisely to experience and enjoy it to the fullest.

Speaking of the novella, it has a name now - Incursion. It looks like it going to be 10 chapters with a prologue and epilogue. I know the pros recommend against prologues and epilogues, but I like it and that's my style. If people like the piece then they'll read it. Plus, I endeavor to keep them short. To me, they're the bookends of the story and I'm not going to abandon them just because it isn't popular. Platform shoes went out of style after the 70's, but darn if I don't see women wearing those atrocities again all the time. So there. Style is a poor reason to change something that works for you. Or to do something that doesn't work.

Anyway, I've written 5 chapters so far, which is excellent progress. More than I expected at this point, really. But alas, I did push myself to make this progress and my wrists are achey, so once I complete this entry then I do plan to take a break from the keyboard for the rest of today and tomorrow. You have to balance the planning and time management with common sense, and I won't make any progress at all if I push it too far with my wrist. So given my good progress this week, I'm using today to spend time with other people and things that I wish to nurture in my life. Like hanging out with the birds, tending my roses, and having lunch with Mom. A day off is a rare gift, and I want to enjoy it to the fullest.

That's all today. I hope you have a Happy Friday and that the mom's out there have a good Mother's Day.

Bye!

The Holiday Wazzup Letter!

12/23/2012

Dear Friends:

We hope this digital letter finds you safe, healthy, happy, and enjoying a wonderful holiday season. In the spirit of the annual holiday letter, I thought it would be fun to share some of the highlights of the past year with you.

I know, this is a blog. You've been keeping up. But for the sake of those that don't like to log in twice a week for my ramblings, well, here's a summary:

Rick just wrapped up a 3 year term on church council at Mt. Tabor. He was heading up the IT committee and did a great job updating the website (which was his major project for his first year on council) and with keeping up staff technology needs. It did get to be a bit of a challenge this year, though. We lost both of our pastors this year - the head pastor left for a higher position with the Synod in March, and the associate pastor left to head up a congregation in Charleston, which is where he's from. It was tough losing them - and then major changes at Rick's job drastically altared his work situation, which has required more overtime work and made serving a bit more challenging. But he stuck in there and was determined to see his term through. We're very proud of him for hanging in there despite the challenges of the past few months, and for all he's done for the church. You can check out the church website that he designed at www.mttaborlutheran.org .

Unfortunately, I had to quit both of my church committees. I had always planned to step down from the IT committee when Rick's term ended, but major changes in my own work situation and my writing picking up cut significantly into my spare time for volunteer activities. There are some things and events that I do hope to continue participating in, but right now being on a standing committee isn't something that's practical for me. It's a shame, too, because I enjoyed it and hated to give it up. Maybe in another season of life.

My work has picked up with additional duties. I'm now working with 4 licensure programs, and recent staff shortages have put more of a burden on remaining staff. I do finally have a window office, which is good (although I got the workload that came with it), and I'm also required to travel twice a year for the landscape architect program. Last year I attended the spring meeting in late February in Miami, and the national meeting in September in San Francisco. That trip to Miami was the first time I've ever flown! It's not bad, either. And while I'm not a big fan of travel, well, I'm hanging in there to see how it works out. The next meeting up is the regional meeting in Scottsdale, Arizona in March. We'll see. That's all I can say for now. Overall the job is good, although it has been very stressful lately. Our workload usually peaks in December (exam deadlines, plus people in a rush to get licensed to get projects in the new year), and being down a person has been hard. Hopefully, we'll fill that open position soon and things will level out. I'm off work until January 2, so hopefully some time with family, friends, and at home with Rick and the birds will do me some good.

My writing is also making progress. I published my second fiction novel, Anywhere But Here, through Whiskey Creek Press in April. They offered me a contract for my third fiction novel, a sci-fi apocolyptic novel titled Splinter, last summer. I'm already working on two writing projects now that I hope to wrap up in the spring. One is another mystery novel titled Move. It's about a young woman that unknowingly makes a deal with a djinn (genie), but unfortunately his help is rather radical and leads to more problems than solutions. The other is a non-fiction book titled Feathered Frenzy. It's basically a "quick reference guide" to give people tips on making their home and lifestyle bird-friendly. And believe it or not, I ALREADY have an idea for my next project. That one is still in a very early brainstorming stage. I'm not even considering working on that one more until I get my two current projects finished. I'm building an audience and working on many promotional things for my published novels. It's slow work, but worth it. I enjoy writing and I think going the "independent author" route was the right choice - especially with the traditional route going into decline as e-publishing picks up. I hope I hit the e-book wave at just the right time!

The birds are doing well. They'll be doing their own Christmas letter to you on their blog over at http://conurecorner.weebly.com soon. Santa has big plans for them and I think we're going to have three very happy birdies in a couple of days!

Our families are doing well. Mom and Dad are staying busy, as usual. Mom had surgery for carpral tunnel last summer and I tell you, that's the fastest surgery recovery I've ever seen! She was back up and running in no time! Dad is still working. Retirement talk comes up from time to time, but no definite plans or timeline yet. I tell you, those design professionals - they love their work and don't like to retire! Stephen and Nicole are doing well too. Stephen's still keeping them straight as a department head at Public Safety, and Nicole is working at home in medical transcription. She graduated from a medical management program in the spring, but unfortunately she had to have surgery for diverticulitis shortly after graduation, so that was an unexpected hiccup in her life. But she's doing fine now and moving forward again.

Rick's parents are also doing ok. You know his father has dementia, so there are good days and bad days - that's just how it goes with that. They joined the Methodist church up the road last month. Our nieces and Rick's sister and brother-in-law are also doing well. We just got back from our Christmas visit with them in Greenville this morning. They stay busy with work, school, and activities - much like all of us.

And yes, in case any of you are wondering, I did complete my New Year's resolution of reading through The Bible again this year. I actually finished it in September!

Well, that's pretty much it. We are truly blessed and thank God every day for all that He has done for us and allowed us to do for others. We hope all of you are doing well and that life is being good to you. You know that everybody is welcome to visit this website and blog. I strive to update it at least twice a week. Some people have themes for their blogs and while the theme of this website is my writing, the blog isn't limited to that. In fact, I believe all of life inspires my writing, and this blog is open to anything and everything happening in life. Feel free to read, share, and pass it along to anybody interested, whether it's family, friends, readers, other writers, or anybody that's interested in how one writer's life inspires her tales!

Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season and that your new year is filled with joy, peace and prosperity.

God bless and best wishes,

Rick and Sherri

The Nature of Things

11/25/2012

Is change. Life is always in motion, and if there's one thing we can bet on, it's that nothing stays the same forever.

This is the season where this truth seems to really hit us. It's when the families are gathering around the table and the decorations come out of the attic. All those memory triggers of holidays past reminds us of how things aren't what they used to be - and makes us wonder how much longer they will stay as they are. Memories of times gone by can make this season happier by discovering the richness of what we've developed in life, or sad when we consider what's lost. A lot is a matter of perspective. We all face growth and loss. It can be a tough emotional rollar coaster to deal with the satisfaction of great accomplishments mixed with the grief of those not here to celebrate with you.

All of this makes the holidays a complex time. Some people are better with dealing with change than others. There are those that adapt, adjust, and roll along, just happy to be where they are. And there are others that have a very hard time dealing with change and fight tooth and nail to keep things the same, even though it's apparant that the "old ways" won't work anymore. Invariably, it seems those types will be mixed within the same friend and/or family group. Oh, the cell phone conversations I overhear this time of the year!

I did a blog series last year on surviving the holidays and I believe the one key thing I kept coming back to was that if you're doing your best, then be satisfied with it. Other people have two choices: Take it or leave it. People may gripe (naturally), but in the end they usually settle down and decide the holidays will be merrier if they choose the path of acceptance over the path of resistance. In most cases, anyway (that's not to say there aren't some that thrive on conflict, but that is an issue I addressed in my blog series earlier this year on villians - I believe it was around Easter).

I'll add one more lesson I've discovered of late. You can't let other people or situations bother you. They're going to do what they're going to do, and it's a waste of emotional energy to let it fly all over you and go into a tizzy over. Likewise with situations - there are so many things you can't control, and to worry about it is a merry-go-round of defeat. Deal with situations the best way you can and move on. I recently realized that I wasted a great deal of time and emotional energy complaining and fretting over what other people do, and it's a 100% waste. They're gonna do what they're gonna do, and they aren't changing for anybody. So deal with them and the situations that come up in life the best you can, and move on. Worry, fussing, and fretting get you nowhere - it's action that counts. So spend your time thinking, reflecting and acting on what is, plan wisely, and trust that things will work out, or that you will know how to deal if a wrench flies into your plans.

Sometimes making the best of the holidays requires changing the way we think about things, and that can be hard. In fact, I believe that changing the way you think is the hardest thing you can do.But it can be done. I can tell you that from experience. I can also tell you that while it's hard, it's well worth it. Changing your life starts with changing how you think, and this holiday season might be the perfect time to make an early resolution that you aren't going to be consumed with stress, anxiety, grief, anguish, or fear over making it the perfect holiday. In fact, let's make Change #1 right now: Don't try to make it perfect. We live in an imperfect world, and an expectation like that will fail. Make it the best you can and decide you'll be happy with it.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and that those of you on the road home today have safe travels. Here's hoping you have a good week, and welcome to the 2012 Holiday Season!

Bye!

The Truth About Childless People (A Politically Incorrect Post)

11/6/2012

I know it would be prudent to post an entry this Election Day about the sacred right to vote, but you know what? You guys get it. And frankly, I'm sick of politics. I'll be glad when this madness is over. So let's ponder on more thought provoking things.

I mentioned in a previous blog entry that there are some crazy assumptions about people that don’t have kids. I’m not sure where people get some of the ideas from. I can’t personally speak for every childless person/couple, but I can say that some of the things people think are just crazy. For example, people believe that if you don’t have kids then:

1.       You don’t like children. I find it interesting that people make this leap that not having = hate, and yet they don’t do it in other areas. I’m not a good cook, and yet not a single person has ever accused me of hating food. I can’t explain it. I won’t deny that I’m ignorant in this area. Heck, I didn’t even know that diapers came in sizes until a few years ago, and I admit that walking into a Babies ‘R Us store is the fastest way to induce an anxiety attack in me. But no, I don’t hate kids and would help one in need without a second thought. It might not be graceful or “proper” but I’d do my best. I can’t speak for all childless people and certainly it’s possible that there are some people that don’t like kids, but this is a conclusion it’s not wise to jump to. Having children is a personal decision and the reasons for not having them (at the present time or ever, depending on the circumstances) can be more complex than the reasons for having them.

Do you want to know what I don’t like? Sushi. It’s nasty and I can’t understand how it can be considered refined or high class to eat raw fish like Gollum in The Lord of the Rings. I know many would say it’s not the same, but I don’t follow the reasoning so just call it a crazy “me” idea. But no, I don’t hate kids.

2.       You’re rich. People think that Rick and I must be loaded because we both work and have no children, but the truth is that the cost of living is astronomical whether you have a household of 1, 2, or 10. Everything’s expensive and the cost of living is rising much higher than salaries are. While it’s true that we might have more discretionary income, we do have to watch our finances and make sure to live within our means.
I wish this stereotype were true because it would thrill me to no end – but alas, it is not.

3.       We have no family. The truth is that all of our parents are alive. Likewise, I have a brother that’s married, Rick has a sister that’s married and has our 2 nieces, and this isn’t counting aunts, uncles, and cousins. Somehow, though, it seems that doesn’t count because people raise an eyebrow when we say we have family functions or visits. But go ahead – tell them all that they don’t count as “family” since we haven’t reproduced. I’d be greatly amused to see how it goes.

4.       We have nothing to do once we get home from work. Folks, this is another one I wish were true. I’d love it if I could come home at the end of the work day, retire to my recliner behind the TV, and that was my life – but it’s not. See, while we’re at work, nothing gets done at home. This fact remains whether you have kids or not. That means that supper has to be prepared, consumed, and cleaned up. Dishes must be washed. Laundry must be done. Birds must be fed and cages cleaned. Bills must be paid. Trash must be taken out. Kitchens and bathrooms must be cleaned, furniture must be dusted and polished, floors must be swept and mopped, and the grass must be cut on a regular basis. This all has to happen after work or on weekends – and that doesn’t include the time I need for my writing, the time Rick needs for his website work, church activities, visiting that family we supposedly don’t have and trying to squeeze in time to spend together. And all of that doesn’t factor in time with friends, repairs and maintenance on home and car, or spending time doing things we like on our own. *Gasp!* I’m lucky to have an hour a night to spend to myself. In fact, I only watch 2 TV shows, both come on back to back on Wednesday nights, and often I have to move Heaven and earth to MAKE time for that.
The truth is that the older you get, the more life tends to fill up. I get up by an alarm clock 6 days a week and my iPhone calendar looks like it needs ProActive (or a measles shot). Frankly, I don’ t know how people with kids keep up with it all. You guys must be heroes because I barely keep it together sometimes. Now if that rumor of being rich were true then I could hire out our housework but alas, the falsity of that lends to the falsity of this.

5.       We think having pets is the same as having kids. I’ve never presumed to say, compare, or even think that having three birds is the equivalent to having three children. It’s not and I know it, so don’t even try to project that insanity on me. Have you ever noticed that when I talk about our birds, I refer to us as mommy and daddy with no capitalization? That’s on purpose because I don’t want people to make the mistake of thinking that I’m trying to equate Zack, Chloe, and Ollie with children. They’re birds. And birds are, obviously, very different from humans. I know. Remember, I worked in day care during my college days, before graduation and switching to being an office drone.

That being said, I do love my birdy-babies. Humanity was given dominion over animals and it’s our responsibility to give our pets the best life possible because they are entrusted to our care. An animal is just as alive as a child and deserves respect. In fact, it’s my personal belief that only the lowest of the low human beings would harm a child or animal. The penalties for animal abuse should be equivalent to the penalties for human abuse because it’s disrespect of the sanctity of life and taking advantage of those that can’t defend themselves. People that would harm a child or animal are a waste of existence if you ask me. I dare them to pick on somebody their own size. That would clean their clock faster than Zack can bust out of his cage when the door latch is loose.

I’m not sure where these ideas come from about childless people, but I hope you see what a good chuckle we get out of them. It’s silly, really, isn’t it? And thankfully, now you know that. Our lives may be different, but is it easier? I don’t know. I think it would be most accurate to say that we all face challenges in life. I don’t know if anybody has an “easy” life. I think it all boils down to being thankful for what you have and doing the best you can with it. Not every life follows the same “socially acceptable” progressive pattern. Life isn’t a puzzle, after all. But if you do the best with what you have then you have fullness of life – whether the pieces seem to fit or not.

That’s all today. Take care.

Bye!

What I Need Right Now

10/20/2012

I think what I really need is to cut my life back to basics and take stock of what I have and how to best nurture the things most important to me.

Fall is naturally the busiest time of year for me, and coiencidentally it's when people want to "get together" the most too. Football season is usually the excuse for this - "let's get together to watch the game!" And I've been a social butterfly these past couple of months and participated in all sorts of gatherings, visits and get togethers.

But folks, this butterfly needs to retreat to her cocoon. No offence, but the Carolina's bye week didn't come soon enough for me this year. I need to sit out a few. The season is going on, but my "to do" list and my schedule don't get it. There are things I need to tend to around the house and with the technology committee at church. I know I said I was going to take a hiatus from my in-progress writing projects, but I really do want to get back to them with as few distractions as possible, and that means I need to put my nose to the grindstone and get things done now. And if you want me at my best during the busy holiday season, well, I need a break.

I mean no offence, of course. I just need some time to myself every now and then to catch up, rest up, take stock, and move on. I need to recharge my batteries and right now I'm running low. I've come to the conclusion that I must be an anomoly, because this seems to be a need that not many other people have. Other than my family, only Rick and one other person has admitted to needing time to themselves. It seems others actually clamor to fill those empty spaces in their lives to the point where there's no quiet, no hiatus, no opportunities to simply "be" and exist in communion with the Lord and the world. Doing, doing, doing. Well, I admire their energy and their tireless dedication to their social schedule, but I'm not afraid I can't operate like that. My life is very full right now and all the "blessings" keep me quite busy. It can be a challenge to find those moments and days with an empty spot on the calender. And they aren't usually give, so it looks like I'm going to have to take them.

I'm burned out. I need to clear off my plate to I can be true to my priorities and focus on what really matters - not on what the world says should matter.

So I'm starting today. I'm sitting out the USC-Florida game. I know, it's a big one and how could I. It's simple, really. The need for quiet in my soul outweighs "the big game." As I said, I need some time to catch up on some stuff around the house and with church so I'll be free to resume work on Move next month when I end my writing hiatus, and what better time than by focusing on that while the rest of the world (around here) is tuned into the big game. Plus, I still have Feathered Frenzy to finish, and I already have an idea for my next writing project which is a novella I hope to start in 2013. And promotion work on my already published works never ends. So there's lots to do there and I really need to get focused and get back to work on my writing soon, and taking care of the other things on my plate will really help with that.

I know life won't always be like this. I'm quitting volunteer activities in 2013, so I won't have to make decisions based on things like this soon. That was another decision I made this week. I need fewer meetings in my life and the truth is that I need to focus my time away from work on home, family and writing and that doesn't leave time for much else. I wanted to be more involved at church, and I will certainly continue to be a greeter and help with activities as I can, but I can't be bound to a committee anymore. It just doesn't work in my busy life.

As for the rest - well, eventually I'll retire from work, so that won't always be eating up most of my weekdays, but that's far away as I'm not even at the halfway point of my career. Frankly, I do have concerns about being bored if I didn't work, but those aren't concerns I need to ponder now or any time soon. Until then, it's the immovable object in my life and I have to work around it. Those aggrivations and annoyances aren't going to stop and I have to march on and do what must be done because it's my responsibilty and financial support, now and in the future. That's a reality for most people and it's something that should be easy to understand and respect.

Yes, life is busy, and sometimes it won't give you what you need so you have to take it. That's what I'm going to to today. Because if I don't take care of myself and my needs, then I'm not much good to anybody else, now am I?

That's all today. I hope you have a great weekend.

Bye!

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