Faith is one thing inside the safe haven of church or other confined groups of believers, and quite another when it comes to putting it into practice when you get out there into the real world. Battleground Earth – Living by Faith in a Pagan World, my first published book, deals with this issue in detail. I stand by everything I wrote in that book, even if it isn’t the finest example of my writing abilities, and there’s no need to recap it here. Christianity has lasted for two millennia in this world, but the world still hasn’t stopped fighting it. Without fail, somebody, somewhere, is going to have a problem with your faith.

This could happen in a number of ways, so I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss a couple of areas where I’ve seen this resistance in all its ugly glory, and share the wisdom I’ve gained in dealing with it over the past ten years.

Contradictions

I’m going to be more brutally honest here than is appropriate in a Christian book: I’m skeptical of popular people. I’m pushing 40 years old, and I have a lovely knife collection courtesy of all the ones stuck in my back from “well liked” people that were hiding a hair trigger temper. Certainly not all of them have been that way, but I’ve been on the receiving end of the wrath of “swell” people that launched all out assaults on my character – sometimes for standing my ground, sometimes for rocking the boat, and sometimes simply for refusing to get involved in their drama and minding my own business like I thought I was supposed to. It’s caused me to back away from people that seem to have too many friends, because you never know where those emotional landmines are.

Certainly, I know this is falling prey to a stereotype I’ve created in my own mind. The problem with having a bachelor’s degree in psychology is that you can’t fool yourself. I know it’s a generalization, that its not fair for me to think like that, and that for every popular time bomb I’ve met, I’ve crossed paths with two or three that were perfectly decent human beings that demonstrated great fruit of the Spirit. I guess that when you’re caught in explosions that big, you don’t forget it. You definitely watch your step, or at least try to stay at a range outside of any potential blast radius.

I’m no respecter of persons, which has been much to the dismay of many that have crossed my path. I’m not impressed by power or position, and frankly I don’t care how many friends you have or how many people like you. My criteria for whether I like and respect you is simple: you’re a decent human being, or you aren’t. Integrity, honesty, authenticity, and loyalty are the hallmarks that define character. That’s easy enough and certainly fair, but you’d be surprised at how many people have a problem with it.

I bring this up because I’ve heard many other introverts and “loner” types (like me) complain about similar experiences, and I believe it’s a context that we can all relate to. By now we’ve come to the sad realization that cliques didn’t end in high school, and they’re just as prevalent in the adult world as they are on the playground. You’d think we’d learn, but then again it took 70 years of captivity for the Israelites to learn that God meant what he said about commandments, obedience and all those other inconvenient things that made them “uncool” with the pagans around them, and the rest of us still don’t get it. Gene pools are supposed to dilute with successive generations, but Adam’s stubbornness is just as dominate now as it was in the beginning of time. That’s frightening.

We live in a world of contradictions, and frankly some people are better at standing up to them than others. A bold person who doesn’t mind standing out or being a loner with a small “inner circle” of trusted individuals (like myself) usually winces less than a people-pleaser that’s been taught to make everybody happy. It’s a battle we all face, and some of us do better than others. Fair enough, we can grant other believers the grace to face the battle. It’s the people that don’t have time for that giving us reason to reach for the Excedrin, the squeeze ball, the social media post, the wine, the whiskey, or whatever you wish.

Christians should know that they’ll be challenged, and that they need to stand up to it. The problem is that they often get mixed up on what they’re standing for. Many new believers make the classic mistake of believing that they’re standing up for Jesus and defending His principals. Even I did this back in the day. I’d go to the mat for anything just to I could win another battle for Him. The problem is, I didn’t realize what a fool I made of myself in so many instances, because Jesus doesn’t need anybody to stand up for Him. He already won the ultimate battle, and He will come again victorious to clean up the rest of the crap that’s in the world. What’s done is done, and what’s coming is coming. Nothing we do changes that. So what, exactly, are we fighting for?

Our own integrity, that’s what, and the truth is that it’s only a fight if we make it one. Living by faith in a faithless world is a personal choice, and standing by our choices is our right as human beings. If we chose to believe in God and live by His word, we have a right to do that, and to expect that others will respect it. They don’t have to like it. They don’t have to like us. They do have to understand that this is how it’s going to be with us, and that understanding usually comes by calmly standing our ground than martyring ourselves. I learned the hard way that whining, screaming, and crying over the unfairness of it all gets you nowhere. Nobody hears you, and nobody cares. I finally got it one day and when somebody snapped at me about being “like that,” and I replied, “you have to understand that I’m going to do what I believe is right. If you want to prevent that, you do what’s right first.” You could have knocked them over with a feather. There went the fight. And yes, I have been tested on that, but once usually all it takes for people to learn to keep their shenanagins on their side of the line.

 It seems that Martin Luther’s “here I stand, I can do no other” is much more effective than engaging in battle. You do what you will. I’ll do what I will. God will sort it all out for better or worse, and He deals with such things through time and circumstance better than I would. End of story.

The bottom line is that you can’t just talk the talk; you have to walk the walk. Everybody talks, which is why fighting doesn’t work. Respect is earned through actions, not won by words.  A therapist once told me that people lie with their mouths and tell truth with their actions, so don’t listen to words; watch what they do. That’s some of the best advice I’ve had (and the one thing lots of people wish nobody had ever told me).

Yes, you will butt heads with non-believers every now and then, but you know what? Non-believers butt heads with one another, so you’re not special. Your faith-based words and actions are just another thing about this world that pisses them off and deepens that two ton chip on their shoulder anyway. It happens all the time. Some people are just jerks, and you can’t do anything about it. If you calmly stand your ground then you find yourself fighting less and being yourself more. Don’t let it get you down.

When “Right” Becomes A Liability

Just be aware that when they realize that they can’t turn you, then they’ll try to turn your own nature against you. This is usually the next line of defense, because they believe they’ve watched enough movies and TV to be as clever as the characters they admire. They’ll actually believe they can turn your virtue to their advantage and against you and if you aren’t mindful, this trick can work.

Here I’ll make another one of my well-known, unflattering admissions: I’ve been known to provoke people to anger on purpose. I know that pissing people off isn’t shining light on the world, but it’s part of a strategy. Standing on faith gave rise to a problem in my life that’s seemed to grow over the years: co-dependency. People learned that I’m a hard worker with high standards, so they believe they can relax and rely on me to do things. The problem is the domino effect described in Proverbs: a little rest, a little folding of the hands, and eventually I’m asked to do things that they should be doing themselves. They try to flatter me by telling me I’m so smart and they don’t understand it all, but I realize it as the smokescreen that it really is. It’s not that I’m smart; it’s that they’re lazy, and they want to capitalize on my work ethic “because it’s the Christian thing to do.” Talking, pleading, whining, and leaving it to rot doesn’t work against lazy, because lazy can tolerate a lot. The only way to win against co-dependency is to set boundaries, kick off the training wheels, and leave them to coast. And boundaries raise people’s ire every time.

I know you aren’t supposed to hang people out to dry. I know it’s not nice to challenge them or to make them angry. But as a person once told me, sometimes people are wrong, and they need correcting. Yes, people get angry with me when I withdraw, but I do it with the intention of helping them rise to their potential. If they do it “just to show me,” at least they rose to something, and I’ve seen a lot of progress happen that way. See, you’re smart too. Intelligence isn’t limited to a lucky few. We’re all smart in some ways. If I make you mad trying to mine your talent, fume away.

Christian is not equivalent to doormat, and you must have the audacity to draw the line and stare them down. I don’t recall a single Bible verse where Jesus said “whatever, have it your way” and walked away. People like the Christ that was obedient to the cross; not the Christ that turned over moneychanger tables – and yet it’s all the same. Remember this: when somebody makes “the right thing” a liability, it’s no longer “the right thing.” That changes everything.

Sometimes the right thing looks and feels wrong, but that doesn’t change the fundamental facts. It’s human nature to test people. It’s human nature to push them to see how much you can get away with. It’s human nature to push limits. And its God’s will that the right thing be done in all circumstances, despite human nature. The real question is, are you working with Him or against Him?

Respectfully Disagreeing and Standing Alone

I believe we’ve all known Christians that believe the world is out to get them. They think that everybody is against them because of their faith and that they have to constantly be on the lookout for the next attack. It may sound paranoid, but there are times when it does feel like your faith makes you a target. The world doesn’t flinch at making fun of Christians, at pointing out our flaws, or at making assumption like the ridiculous ones I’ve addressed in this book, and countless others. Christians do seem to be exempt from political correctness. I’ve never seen somebody get in the face of an Islamic and accuse them of being a hellbound killer, but they’ll snicker at Christians and call us freaks to our face. There’s certainly a double standard at play in society, but I don’t believe it’s cause for paranoia and it’s certainly not worth martyring ourselves over. We can only be a victim if we allow it.

We are all unique creations and as such, some personalities aren’t going to play well together. This is true whether you’re Christian or not, and unfortunately there’s no “once size fits all” answer on how to deal with conflict. We do have to remember the one hallmark of our faith, though, and that’s grace. Grace is about freedom, and the truth is that we have no right to judge because we don’t know where they’re coming from. Often, it behooves us to remember that hurt people hurt others, and the best thing is to forgive and let go for our own peace. Don’t let hate send you to hell. The charge of the Christian is to share the gospel, and people have a choice on whether to accept it. We try to share what we know to save their soul, but we can’t save them from themselves. If they want to show the world what a jerk they are then you can’t stop them.  

The truth is that as Christians, we will sometimes stand alone. Look at mainstream media and you see there aren’t many people of faith at the top. The world doesn’t like that, so the world doesn’t allow it to rise. Sure, that may change with the indie markets rising. Certainly, they have more of a voice, and more niche markets are rising for us. But in the end, we won’t be popular. That’s the price of a life rooted in Christ. He did say that we are not of the world, so the world doesn’t love us, so I hope you’re ok with being a loner. And really, it’s not so bad. I rather prefer being a loner because there’s a unique freedom in not being bound by expectations and being able to embrace what speaks to your soul without justifying it to those that don’t understand. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from standing alone, its that the view is a lot better from here.  

Heck with the world, anyway. In pure geologic terms, it’s just a huge rock hurling through space, and rocks can’t think. If people want to win the favor of a rock, they can have it. What matters most are things that can’t be quantified: love, relationships, faith, peace, and joy. A rock can’t give you that.

Wow, when you put it that way, it does sound silly. Suddenly, panoramic view of freedom looks inviting, and eternity seems like an investment worth considering. 

Thank goodness for obscure holidays, because I certainly need it! It's Confederate Memorial Day here in SC, so state offices are closed and we get a day off that most other people don't have. I tell you: whether you like it or think it's backwards, it's a free day off, and we'll take it!

I can use it. It's been quite a week. My father-in-law was moved from the hospital to a nursing home to start his rehab, but the hospital got his medications out of whack, so now it's that whole process of getting them settled again. That was Wednesday. Then yesterday, my mother-in-law and a friend had a head on accident leaving the nursing home. They're fine, but the car has gone from an SUV to a compact. Now she has the addition of dealing with the insurance company doing their whole trying-not-to-do-anything dance before she can get it fixed or get another car. Thankfully, she kept my father-in-law's truck, so at least she has that to use in the meantime. I just wrote more on this and how we're dealing over at Conure Corner, so feel free to swing by there to check out more. 

My big role in this is to help and support Rick by making sure he takes care of himself and keeping the home going. Fortunately, I had already made a good bit of headway on this before his dad got sick. The house is clean, so keeping it up isn't too difficult. Plus, Nonstop to Nowhere is at the beta/proofreader right now and will be for 2 weeks.  I did run across a few things that I'm thinking about incorporating into the sequel to Move and researched it, but honestly I'm shelving that project until Nonstop to Nowhere is complete and turned in. So I'm on a writing hiatus until late May or early June, which is alright. It's funny how things work out, isn't it?

It's not the most fantastic of times, but I do see hope. Rick's dad is in recovery, his mother is ok (and will likely get a new car, once the insurance is done with their trying-to-do-nothing thing), and we've recovered from our respective sinus infections. It seems to me that things are on track to improve, if we keep the faith, walk in prayer, and don't allow the devil to keep sidetracking everybody with panic. Plus, spring is here and it's getting hot again. Some people are grumbling about it, but I don't mind. In fact, I welcome the heat. After that brutally cold winter, I like blue skies, green plants, and the sun warming the earth. The world feels alive, and that's a great feeling. I'll take it. 

That's all today. I'll keep you posted on our progress, and ask that you will pray that the progress is already upon us and being delivered. 

Have a Happy Friday and a wonderful weekend. 

Bye!

And so, just like that, the Lenten fasts are over and now we celebrate the Resurrection. The journey that we embarked on Ash Wednesday is over and now we move on with what we’ve learned on the journey.

In all of my ponderings over the past weeks, I think the one thing that struck me the most is that the journey continues. Easter may have come and gone. Celebrations are in order. But the truth is that the journey never ends. We have celebrations and sorrows. We have highs and lows. We have feasts and famines. For everything there is a season, but three things remain: our faith in God, our foundation in Christ, and our obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit within us.

And yet, there we waiver just as much as in anything else, because our human nature challenges us in all things. We may be certain in our salvation, but our faith along the way is always tempered and tested by doubt. All it takes is something unexpected, some setback, something that flies in the face of “how it should be” and we start to doubt. Does God care? Is He real? Is Christ holding us secure, or are we swaying in the winds of chance? Is that the Spirit prompting us, our own will, or something else?

Why is that? How many times must God prove Himself faithful? The truth is that He doesn’t have to do it ever. He owes us no explanations. And yet, if we really and honestly look over our lives, we can see where He has proved faithful to us through His promises over and over again. He doesn’t move; we do. And sometimes, figuring out where we are is like trying to navigate with a map that doesn’t have a compass on it. We see where we are, but we don’t know how to move on from here. What direction should we take? Where should we go? Where’s the right path; the path to where we belong? And that’s where we get in trouble. As I said in previous entries: free will is God’s greatest gift, and our greatest stumbling block.

And people think that a Christian’s life should be simple. It’s anything but! Believe me, we have just as many questions as you do. Maybe more. Sometimes the big picture is more of a riddle than a mosaic. And I’m not afraid to tell you that I hate riddles. It’s the age old battle of good versus evil, and if you think that believers have it figured out – well, let me just tell you that any person of faith that tries to tell you they “get it” all is lying. The surest sign of the devil at work is certainty that you’re right. It’s the questions that define our faith, not the answers. And that just means our ability to accept the questions, and that we won’t have all the answers. There may not be answers, at least that we could ever understand. Certainly not that would satisfy us, anyway. See what I mean by a riddle now?

People aren’t wrong to celebrate the Resurrection. In fact, they should do it. It is, after all, why we don’t have to have all of the answers. It’s why we’re human beings, not humans doing. Our job is to be what we were created to be . It sounds simple, and sometimes it is. Sometimes, it isn’t. Sometimes, the path isn’t so clear. But we’re always on the journey, from the day we’re born until the day we die. The question is our location. We’re simply called to take life a day at a time, and sometimes even a step at a time. We know the final destination, but we don’t always know the path. That takes a faith that requires renewing every day.

And so the journey continues. I pray that you’ve made your own significant discoveries in these days of reflection, and that your life is better for it now as we celebrate knowing that the end result is certain. So celebrate, knowing that it all means something good, even if you don’t always get it. And if you don’t like riddles, then just focus on the journey, a step at a time.

I’ve enjoyed taking this Lenten journey with you, and I hope you’ve enjoyed following me along on it. And now, we shall see what life brings next in the method of the madness in my rabbit hole.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

 

I recently read an article on the seven deadly sins by state. Geographers from Kansas State plotted the 7 deadly sins on a map of the U.S., and I found the results interesting. I’d encourage you to take a look at the map to see how your state stacks up.

According to the map, we in South Carolina have a problem with envy, wrath, lust, and pride. Four out of seven isn’t good, but then again, it doesn’t surprise me. We have a lot of “Sunday Morning Christians” here. Sad but true: church attendance is harped on a lot in the Bible Belt, but walking the walk doesn’t tend to happen the other six days of the week. I fear this map exposes an ugly truth that it’s all just show, and we hope our Sunday morning activities are wiping away the consequences of the rest of our life. Cut somebody off in traffic, and they’ll flip you the bird as fast as they say “God bless you” when you sneeze.

This map shows that we’re all hypocrites. We talk of living by higher standards and better morals, but the fact is that we all have our faults, and we all hold different standards for others than we do for ourselves. These geographers busted us, plain and simple. They got the statistics that don’t lie, and organized and categorized it with names that we have no excuse for not recognizing.

I think it’s a good reminder, though, and especially at this time of year when we talk of salvation and peace on Earth. It’s  good to hold up a mirror every now and then and take a good, hard look at reality. It’s good to humble ourselves and recognize the true meaning of why we needed Christ to come. Because with all of the gift giving and stress over creating “the perfect holiday,” it’s easy to forget that the true gift was given to us. We have nothing to give God that He doesn’t already have. You can’t bribe Him. You can’t hide the truth from Him. You can’t play “lets make a deal” with Him. The only thing you can give Him is your heart.

Talk doesn’t matter. It’s just noise. And according to this map, we’re making a hell of a lot of noise. Literally! So much for Peace on Earth.

But there is good news, and we celebrate it every time this year. It’s that hope has arrived, and it’s a free gift to us all. No strings attached. Just believe and receive. And if you mean it, then you can have a peace beyond all understanding. It might not be Peace on Earth, but peace in your own soul is invaluable. And it’s right there, if only you believe. But it’s not a “one and done” decision, or even a “every Sunday morning” decision. This is a decision you have to make each and every day. And yes, I know I need to try harder at this, just like everybody else.

That’s all today. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend.

Bye!

When it comes to luck, I seem to get an avalanche because it all hits me at one time. When it's good luck, that's okay. But when it's bad luck, it's rather aggravating. And you've probably guessed that for the past months, it seems I've been on a roll of bad luck. Illness, injury, accidents, things breaking or going wrong, a constant barrage of bad luck. On the one hand, it's minor irritations that are usually handled quickly. But those add up, and pretty soon the minor irritants lead to a major breakdown.

Yes, it happened last week - but the irritations haven't. Just when I thought okay, maybe it's leveling out, I get up this morning to another accident. I broke a dental device that I need to keep the extensive dental work I had when I was younger "in place." I  had a lot of dental problems as a kid and in my early teens. They're resolved, thankfully, but proper maintenance is key to making sure they don't come back. So now, I'm fixing to head to the dentist to get it fixed. He said it sounds like it's not really major. It's happened before, and he was able to fix it, so he believes this won't be a big deal. But it's a kink in my day, my schedule, and  my life. And maybe it is some luck here, because I'm supposed to be at a conference in Minneapolis right now, but I'm not because of conflicts at work (that are also in the resolution process, but alas, didn't happen in time for me to make this trip). At least I'm home and can get this resolved now.

Some people go through times like this and say "what have I done to deserve this?" or "God must be mad at me." Nonsense. I say "wow, I must really be pissing the devil off for him to be after me like this, and God must be protecting me by limiting the scope." The Bible said time and chance happen to us all - it's just happening to me a lot right now. And I recently read the Book of Job. It's not God's fault that life sucks sometimes. That's the imperfect nature of the world that sin brought in. But that's a discussion for another time. Suffice it to say, I'm hanging in there and refusing to be discouraged. I had a bit of a breakdown last week and I'm not interested in another one, thank you very much. 

I'll tell you this: there's no way I'm following people's advice and buying a lottery ticket. They say I'm due good luck and should play it. Heck no! I'm afraid that if I win, I'll die the next day. Or be horribly injured. Or get a terminal disease. The way things are going, I'd be lucky if I didn't win because winning would tempt the devil, fate, or whatever into hitting me with it's best shot. No thanks! Best to leave it alone and not bring gambling into the mix. You buy the lottery ticket and good luck. I don't see that working out for me at all. I'll take a more low key approach and keep working each day. That's always worked to lead to better times, so why stop? Maybe the release of Splinter in a little over a month will turn the tide to better luck, better days, and better ways.

I'm hoping. For now, I'm thankful the scope is limited to minor irritations and I'm hanging in there.

I best be off. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a good weekend.

Bye!

We all go through those spells when it seems you can’t get anything going. I’ve heard them called many things. C.S. Lewis referred to it as “The Law of Undulation” in The Screwtape Letters. He describes it as the cyclical nature of live to swing between highs and lows, and the theory that we’re always somewhere on that arc. Sara Ban Breathnach refers to it as “The Ebb” in Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. She compares it to the ebb and flow of the ocean tide, and how life goes through seasons of great abundance followed by seasons of stagnation. I’ve heard many Christians refer to these times as “desert seasons,” comparing it to the Hebrew’s 40 years of wandering in the desert prior to coming into the Promised Land. Others call it “the darkness before the dawn.” Whatever you call it, you know how frustrating it can be when you work so hard, day in and day out, and see – nothing. 

They’re all right. There are times when life seems like a runaway train and times when you think you’ll have to get out and push this hunk of junk somewhere – anywhere! – except even that probably wouldn’t get you anywhere. It’s frustrating. It’s irritating. And it’s just as much a part of life as the rising and setting of the sun. 

Sure, we know that they’re actually periods of slow building to the next blessing on the way, but it’s tough to keep your motivation when all you get is “keep working” and no indication of how close you are to a breakthrough. It’s easy to get discouraged, angry, or frustrated. Many people give up, disillusioned by the deception that things will never change and falling into the trap of actually prolonging their suffering when relief would have been right around the corner had they not abandoned hope.  Because if you look at all the descriptions I listed above, you’ll notice they have one thing in common: they all point to a payoff in the end. However stagnant things might seem, remember that the nature of the universe is change. It’s impossible for things to stay the same forever. It just doesn’t happen. So naturally, if you hang in there and keep working hard, you’ll eventually see a breakthrough.  It brings truth to the encouragement in Galatians 6:9 which reminds us: “Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.” 

So how do you keep the hope in these seasons of stagnation? I’m in one of those seasons now, and I can say from experience that it’s tricky. You can post all the inspirational verses in the world all over your house, office and car, but that discouragement and frustration will still come. I fight it every day, in one way or another. Giving up isn’t an option, because I only need to look at my recent past to see that too much good is building up to abandon it. I’m determined to see it through. It’s a vicious cycle because I get frustrated with not seeing progress, and then I get frustrated with myself for losing patience and getting frustrated. That’s one thing about walking in faith – you know what’s right and true, and you get irritated with yourself when your humanity rises to the surface and causes you to get irritated with the challenges before you, knowing that you’re called to walk in patience and that you’re losing it. It’s a constant spiritual battle. I don't know that I'll ever be able to "embrace the ebb" as Breathnach suggests in her November 1st entry.

I think the secret to winning the battle and “fighting the good fight” is that you have to find things that speak peace to your soul. These are the days when the small things as Zechariah 4:10 tells us not to despise are building up to the big blessings of tomorrow. So I give thanks for the blessings I have, and I take advantage of every opportunity, no matter how small it may seem. It’s worked to get me this far, and I know that if I keep walking in this way then it will build up to the next flow in my life. Just today, I found encouragement in an email that Whiskey Creek Press has assigned an editor to Splinter. My first sci-fi novel is on it's way to becoming a reality.

And so, I keep doing my best at all that’s set before me. I do all I can to make things the best I can. I enjoy my husband, birds, home, family and friends. I keep my eyes open to opportunity and prayerfully consider everything before me. I'll work with the good folks at Whiskey Creek Press to make Splinter the best it can be and proudly deliver it to readers in November. I delight in the small things, from the first cup of coffee in the morning, to time writing, to watching a movie, or reading a book, or taking a walk during my lunch break, because if I’m doing all I can then I should enjoy breaks and blessings whenever I have a chance. And I go through each day the best I can, knowing that it will build up to the next blessing in due season. 

I often hear people say “God is never late, so be patient!” It’s a good thing He isn’t, and that our times are in His hands. Otherwise, we’d truly be in trouble, because our lack of foresight of the “big picture” would always have us rushing around after we know not what. 

Where there’s life, there’s hope – so if you woke up alive this morning, then keep the faith. His mercies are new every morning and you never know which one will bring the next flow in your life. 

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and I hope you have a great weekend. 

Bye!

Can you see the Colorado River in my picture from the Grand Canyon here? If you squint and look really hard, you can see a green triangle down there at the bottom, just right and down of the center of the picture. That’s it. I remember looking at it and thinking “that’s it? That’s the river that supposedly carved out all of this?”

I was surprised, especially when I saw a special on The Grand Canyon on satellite TV a few weeks ago. That’s a huge river! They have rafting trips along it that last over several days. I was shocked to see this huge river with very active rapids. My perception from the top of the canyon was way off. It looked so small from where I saw it, but if I had been down there at it, I would have seen something completely different. Something that was, indeed, capable of carving out that canyon, and a whole lot more. 

I thought about this yesterday as I was reading my devotional. This year, I’m reading A Year with C.S. Lewis, and the reading was from Mere Christianity. He wrote “That is why we must not be surprised if we are in for a rough time. When a man turns to Christ and seems to be getting on pretty well … he often feels that it would now be natural if things went fairly smoothly. When troubles come along – illness, money troubles, new kinds of temptation – he is disappointed. These things, he feels, might have been necessary to rouse him and make him repent in his bad old days; but why now? Because God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level: putting him in situations where he will have to be very much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us.” Today’s reading continued the course by stating that once God starts working on you, He doesn’t stop – ever – until you attain perfection in Heaven. 

That was the word in season that I’ve been seeking. I knew I was getting mired down in things that didn’t really matter. It felt so much like the challenges I face are the same old things, and I wondered why I had to keep going through this, over and over. The devotionals these past two days opened my eyes to the fact that I’ve been mistaking moving up with being stuck and going around the same mountains. It looks the same, but it isn’t. I’m back here not because I didn’t get it last time, but because there’s something else in the situation this time that’s meant to help me rise to a higher level. 

But why is this so? The answer struck me yesterday – or within 30 feet of me, literally – when lightening hit a transformer near the traffic light I was at. I saw that bolt of lightening come out of the sky and blow up that transformer. Good grief! That scared me! I just walked out to my car, griping about how running through the rain and thunder was stupid, and here was an indication of what it really was. I wasn’t so tough. I’m a mere human being, at God’s mercy, and I better be glad for it. And being a human being is exactly why these things happen. Time and chance happen to us all, believers or not, but you can count on the fact that if you accept Christ then the Lord is going to use that time and chance to take you out of your shallow little world and lift you up to higher ground. All of life is an evolution process, of moving up from the level you’re at. We’re meant to keep growing, to keep learning, to keep becoming better people as we experience life. 

To put it in the context of my Grand Canyon illustration, we aren’t supposed to sit by the river, worrying about what it might do next. Yes, it’s carving rock. It’s transforming the landscape. But you aren’t supposed to sit there and wait. You’re supposed to keep climbing and keep rising so you can see the bigger picture of the beauty it’s creating, from the bottom up.

I know a lot of this sounds like so much mumbo jumbo to a lot of people, but this has been a big discovery for me. Frankly, I chose to stay offline for a few days because I knew that my perception of life was off, and I didn’t feel it was fair to spout my thoughts to the world if they clearly were off base. I knew I needed an attitude adjustment, and I needed it soon before my head got bigger than this statue in Scottsdale that shocked me the first time I saw it. That’s a huge head, and if I didn’t get things in perspective then that could have been me! Well, figuratively anyway. And you know that this is exactly what you think when you run across people that are saying "me, me, me" and "I, I, I" all the time, going on about themselves and their problems all the time. Well, now you have a visual for that. People that are all gloom and doom and so sucked into troubles that they can only see the worst in everything are already defeated by life. They might as well rent a digital billboard because everybody can see it, and nobody wants to get sucked into it. I certainly didn't want to fall into that trap.

I think I understand now that trials and troubles are likely more the norm than those quiet seasons. Evolution is a process that never ends, so something is always going to be worked on or worked out. If you put this in context with Lewis’  Law of Undulation from The Screwtape Letters (that life naturally cycles between highs and lows and every human being is at some point in the cycle their entire life), then you get a truer context on how life works. Change will always be there; resistance will always be there; there’s always going to be one more thing to work through; one more higher goal; one more higher standard to attain. As they say, it is always something. But the something that it is isn’t always what we think. The purpose is not to beat you down, or to break you, but to build you up and help you rise to see things more clearly; to see the beauty in what looks like the jumbled mess of life. There’s a method to the madness. We won’t know what it is until we leave this world, but through our experiences we get glimpses of that truth, and of how it all works together. If we put it in perspective, we can allow it to light our  path and feed the hope of our faith, a day at a time. 

You all know that I’m a big believer in the verse in Galatians 6:7  about reaping and sowing, but it goes on to explain that there’s a method even to that madness. Read two verses further and you’ll see that Paul uses this principle not to admonish people, but to encourage us to keep fighting the good fight when he says “and let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9)

Yes, it’s always something. And that’s as it should be. If we persevere, if we take what we’ve learned and allow ourselves to grow, then it’s ascension to a new level. We’ll behold the beauty of what our life is meant to be.   And the raging rivers of life don’t look quite so intimidating from up here if we are truly learning from each experience and rising to new levels. The problems of yesterday should be easier now that we’ve learned from them. They might come back every now and then, but they should get smaller as we progress, because we know how to handle them and aren’t intimidated by those old demons any more.  

That doesn't mean that I'm okay with anything that happens, or that I have a "whatever" attitude toward life. I still have plenty of questions. I still wonder what good some things do, or if it really took quite that much to get me where I am, or where I need to be. I ask "why" more than is probably good for my faith or my mental well being. But I also realize that there are opportunities in every situation, no matter how small. I'm determined to persevere. I'm determined to rise above circumstance and the things that threaten to drag me down. I refuse to be defeated. Jesus died so we could have and enjoy life, and I'm claiming that promise for my life, every day, no matter what the circumstances. Because there is something to enjoy in each and every day, and we can claim it. It all starts with the small things. Never despise them. They build up to the big things, to the ascension that brings us to that higher ground above our trials and tribulations.

In closing, I’d like to say thank you, Lord, for a word in season. I needed it and hope sharing it here helps others to put their own trials into perspective. But about that lightening bolt. Okay, I got it pretty quick. Now let’s leave blowing stuff up to the sci-fi and fantasy books and movies, okay? 

That’s all today. Thanks for hanging in there with me! Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a good weekend. 

Bye!

First, I shall deal with the pink elephant in the room - the George Zimmerman "not guilty" verdict. I have an opinion on it and, as with all opinions, 50% of you will agree and 50% will not agree. So here it is:

I believe there was reasonable doubt in the state's case, and the jury refused to allow the media, the State, and even the President tell them they didn't have a right to have that reasonable doubt. At the core, this case wasn't about race (although it was made to be a factor, and anybody that says it's wasn't is nuttier than Chinese chicken salad). It also wasn't about race, or about the right to have a CWP and use it (although that, too, was a forced factor). Zimmerman never denied killing Martin. The question was whether Zimmerman was justified in using the force he used in that fight. The jury spent over 16 grueling hours debating it, and in the end they just couldn't determine without any question or doubt that Zimmerman wasn't under threat of great bodily harm.

I'll go on to say this: I work in administrative law with my job in professional licensing, and for all of you that say "but the law is the law!" you're right, and you're wrong. The law IS the law, BUT it's also open to interpretation given the evidence and facts presented. It's extremely difficult to ferret out what it means in each given situation, and for a layperson that doesn't work in matters of the law every day, that's a hard thing do to. Law isn't written in plain English, and "legalese" isn't easy to discern. Those poor juries need somebody in the room with them to interpret what the actual consequences they ponder are, and they don't have it. They're left to sort it out on their own in that room, and to come out with a decision that's going to affect one or many lives. It's no easy task. Remember that a jury of your peers isn't lawyers or experts on law. They're regular people with jobs and lives that said "oh crap" when that summons arrived in the mail, because they knew they were being plunged into a world they know nothing about. They're intimidated by all that's thrown at them and being told to make decisions that will affect other peoples' lives forever after they walk out of that room and go back to their lives. 

To Zimmerman and the jury, I say this: be quiet. Don't talk. People will want your story and it will be tempting to tell it, but given the highly emotional nature of this case, just stay out of it. Keep you head low.

To the media, I say this: smack. It's about time somebody punched you in the face and told you that you don't have a right to make public policy. You got our President elected twice and have forced how much more down our throats by controlling the indecisive. As one that thinks for herself, I'm glad to see you with this black eye. You too need to shut up and go back to being impartial and reporting it "as it is," like you are supposed to do.

Oh, but the fallout. There will be fallout and this is the part I dread. And, if it's anything like the O.J. Simpson case, it will go on for some time. Lord help us all. This particular case is over (no doubt, civil cases will be brought forward now), but the rest of the story is just beginning. God help us all.

Personally, I've really had too much else going on to pay much attention to this case. You know of all the transition at work that's been rocking our world. Well, two of my colleagues are having some health issues, and now we're just praying that we get through this. Honestly, what can we do? We go in each day and do what we can to keep this machine rolling along the bumpy road we're on, hoping and praying that we'll find smoother paths ahead. I have no doubt we will, but it's getting through that's tough.

And you'd think the weekends would be relief, but not this time. Came home from running errands yesterday and there was a dead cat in the road in front of our house. It was Mom's cat, Little Bit. She "adopted" one of the feral cats about a year ago and named him that because he was the runt of the litter, but he grew into a big cat. That cat never really liked me and of course, he got hit in front of my house. So naturally, she's quite upset. Losing a pet is always tough. I helped Dad and Stephen (my brother) bury it. I don't know when it happened. I put our Netflix in the mailbox at 10:30 and didn't see him. We didn't hear anything, but we're pretty far back from the road so we probably wouldn't.

Add to that, our Internet is still spotty at times and they have to come back to "tweak" something with our router. Got an email yesterday that they're coming today, so there went going to church since their "zone" overlaps with that. I really needed church today. Rick's ear and sinuses are bothering him (no doubt, allergy problems from all of this rain, which is causing mold), my acid reflux is giving me fits (no doubt, it's the stress), and we can't get it together. Thank God for getting us through each day, but the aggravations keep mounting. Oh, I've seen worse. I won't call this a "year of hell," but it hasn't been unicorns and rainbows either. I just pray we survive the challenges and make it through.

And we will. I'm down, but not out. This isn't by far the worse I've seen. If I put in into perspective, I'd call this growing pains into what I'm sure is the road to better days and more stability ahead. I'm not broken, not by a long shot. I'm going to hand in there. The Lord's mercies are new every morning and that's what keeps me going, knowing that a better day could be just around the corner. I haven't come this far to be defeated, and I won't give up.

So I'm going to log off. I'm going to make breakfast. I'm going to go to the grocery store, start revisions on Incursion, take care of my home and birds, get on the treadmill, and maybe cross stitch. Tomorrow, I'll work on revisions to Incursion while the termite inspector gives us another 5 year treatment and will go to work when it's done and do what I can. And each day after, I'll take them one at a time, just like this. Maybe if I do that, each day will suck a little less until eventually, finally, we're at better days. Because I fully believe we are on the path to better days. The bumpier the transition, the better the prize. That's my hope. I know the good stuff is coming, if we keep the faith and don't lose heart on the path to get there.

That all, folks. Take care, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and have a good start to the new week.

Bye!

Check out the awesome new cover for Move, courtesy of the brilliant artwork of Tatina Villa. I absolutely love it and highly recommend her to indie authors for their book covers. She's great to work with, she works fast, and her prices are very good! You can check out more of her great cover designs at Vila Designs. I found her on the Smashwords recommended list and I highly recommend her too!

Not only that, but I enrolled Move in the Smashwords Summer/Winter promotion. If you buy it there during the month of July, you can get it for half off - that's $1.50! Just go to Smashwords and enter coupon code SSW50 by midnight on July 31 to take advantage of the promotion. And best of all, you can download it in any ebook format there. So there's no excuse because you can get it for any ereader or computer.

It's some good news this week. I also made some much needed revisions to "Home" this week and have posted it to my writing portfolio at Writing.com .

So, of you've followed me on social media then you know another person in my work section resigned yesterday. I don't want any of you to misunderstand my frustration with this situation. I certainly understand that people have to do what they have to do to make their lives better. I would never blame anybody for taking advantage of an opportunity. My frustration comes from two places: First, after being totally and completely displaced three years ago when my job moved, some of the whining I hear over changes sounds like the girl that complained to me about having sinus drainage after I had just recovered from a stomach infection. A runny nose sounds whimpy when you've been on 3,000 milligrams of antibiotics for three weeks, and are in the  middle of six weeks of treatment for the internal damage and inflammation the infection left behind. And frankly, some staffing rearrangements and reinterpretations of policies and procedures barely register a blip on my personal radar. But it's pulled the rug out from under some people. Good thing they weren't me three years ago. That was the Hammer of Thor smashing my life to smithereens. What would they have done?

So it's perspective. I see things very differently because of my experiences, and I'm sure my boldness also makes me more likely to stand (and respect those who do rise to it) more than those that take the exit route. But then again, there are also times when it's the better part of wisdom to walk away gracefully and stop fighting a hopeless battle. Who's to say what's right? Well, this is where the other part of the frustration comes in.

You are responsible for doing whatever's necessary to make your life better, but you also have to acknowledge an uncomfortable fact: if you make a major life change that forces other people to make changes to their own life that they didn't plan on, they're going to get pissed off. It's not jealousy, as some  people accuse. It's justifiable anger at having their life changed by a decision made by another person. And frankly, it's not a battle you can win. This is a situation where it's 100% impossible to make all of the people happy. You aren't, and you have to live with the fact that some people are going to be mad at you for what you leave behind for them to deal with. What's more, they have a right to be mad. It's a natural response and it's best to let it play out. It's just one of those things that everybody has to deal with on their own and move on the best they can.

I do have faith that things will work out and in fact, I feel very hopeful that we're on the recovery side of all the transition and chaos that's rocked us these past few months. I know I've said many times that I haven't come this far to quit, fail, or give up, and I see signs that others aren't either. I'm seeing strength emerge and courage in the face of uncertainty, and that's a great encouragement to me. Right now, I see the small glimmers of opportunity that, if properly handled, will lead to the great blessings of tomorrow.

We'll get there. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week or even next month, but I see signs of progress. I'm straining to see it, but there's no doubt that it's there. And that's always a good thing. Let's keep our eyes open to those opportunities and we will reap in due season, if we do not lose faith.

That's all today. Have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

I'm glad there are some people out there that have never been bullied, challenged, or have been forced to suffer at the hands of people with ill intentions. I'm glad you've never had to go "head to head" with people that believe you need to be "fixed" because they believe you're too idealistic or that your morals are silly or stupid. I'm glad there are people that never  have to stand up to anything because they're never challenged and the world just falls at their feet. I'm glad they can confidently say "I don't get what your problem is" because they don't have any.

But you know what else? For all the security you project, I also pity you. I pity you because it's a false security. You never have to stand because you don't stand for anything. I pity you because you're blind to the realities that the world is bigger than you can possibly know, and that there are forces at work in this world and in the universe that you ignore because you can't put your hands on them. Because you don't see it with your eyes, you criticize. And you're on perilous ground.

Criticize my faith all you want. You will never turn me away. I believe in Christ and I believe in The Bible. I also believe in the one thing that makes most of you squirm and start screaming at me about why my faith can't be right: accountability. That's the one area where I'm called on the most. "If God is love, then He won't hurt us," people say to me boldly.

No, He won't. But others will. And if you do wrong, He won't save you from the consequences. He does love, He wants what's best. The Bible even says He wants no man to be lost. But we also have a choice, and it also says that believing in forgiveness isn't permission to sin. We know better and we're expected to act like it. If we don't, we will suffer at our own hand.

God won't hurt us, but we can hurt ourselves. And we do it  plenty. All the time. Every day. Every book I've written is about people who refused to be obedient to what they should do, and they suffered until they woke up, realized what was right, and did it. I'm not a religious writer, but I won't allow a character to win by doing wrong. That's a personal conviction. Any victory from doing wrong is temporary, and I want to show readers the path to lasting victory.

For all that smirk and say "Oh, then you say God delights in revenge but He's also love?" remember this: King David was a man after God's own heart, but he still paid for the sin of adultery. The son he fathered through that sin with Bathsheba died. God was grieved by this sin and forgave David, but He didn't erase the consequences of doing wrong. And it's why David didn't make that mistake again. He feels the same way when we go on with our bad selves and set ourselves up in similar ways. He's not a "smitey God" (as someone on Facebook proposed), but He won't absolve accountability. He will correct us in love and hope we will learn and not cling to stubbornness and continuing to make the same old mistakes, over and over. If there are no consequences, we never learn. If we never learn, we never grow, improve, or get better. We have no compassion for others because we are isolated in ourselves. Lack of accountability is a cycle of self destruction, which is why God won't allow that to happen. And so squirm all you want but we are accountable. You might think you are beholden to no-one, and you're wrong. You're dangerously wrong.

No, life isn't easy. It's hard and it hurts and it downright sucks sometimes. I'm not sure why some things are allowed to happen and I'll be honest enough to say that I have a "what good did THAT do?" list of my own. Sometimes I actually blog about things on this list. But I've learned this much in my 37 years on this planet: 

1. I don't have all the answers; and 

2. It's okay that I don't have all the answers. In fact, over the past couple of years, I've come to feel that I don't WANT all of the answers. That's more responsibility than I care for, and to me, faith is better than trying to process all of that. 

Believe or don't believe - it's your choice, and I'm not going to beat you over the head with a Bible or argue theology. In fact, I see the fact that you argue as a good thing. Because if you argue, then you're thinking about God and faith. And if you didn't care at all, then you wouldn't go to all of that trouble , because nobody's got time for that. 

Gotcha!

That's all today.

Bye!