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My Lenten Journey 2 - Personal Responsibility

3/12/2014

 
I finished the rough draft of Rearview Mirror yesterday. This novel is the sequel to Move, which I published last year. If you follow this blog regularly or follow me on social media, you know that the idea for this book started at me last December, when I felt a strong sense of dissatisfaction over the conclusion to Move and an obligation to “finish out” the story right. At the time, it struck me as curious, because I typically don’t do sequels, but for some reason, I felt that things weren’t properly dealt with in Move. So I researched, and I brainstormed, and I started a rough draft on New Year’s Day – a draft that really poked along, because I only got the inspiration for it in bits and pieces, writing perhaps 3-4 chapters per week. Then the whole thing exploded last week, and suddenly I knew exactly what needed to happen and how to pull it off. I went on a writing binge from late last week until yesterday and lo and behold, the draft is done.

The really amazing thing about this book is that I didn’t fully realize why I wrote it until I finished it yesterday. All along, I thought I was finishing an incomplete story, but as I typed the final sentence, it occurred to me: it wasn’t just about tying up loose ends; it was about personal responsibility. Almost every character in Move made poor judgments that followed through with bad decisions, and it was time for them to stand up to it – because really, that’s the only way any of them could really and truly move on.

Personal responsibility – what an unpopular topic! I probably just scared away my entire readership by saying my current work in progress is about that dirty concept!

I don’t think any of us would argue that personal responsibility is an issue that a lot of people have a problem with. We all know people that cast the blame for everything wrong with their life on others and how they’ve failed. If only this person did this, or that person did that, or these people were more attentive to my needs, or if I could finally get the upper hand on that uppity person, then my life would be better. Many people have too many expectations and too little acceptance in life, and as a result, they’re perpetually miserable, constantly in conflict with others, and angry at the world.

Personal responsibility isn’t a popular subject because it points to the one inevitable fact that none of us like: scientists have found the center of the universe, and it’s not me. It's not you. It's not any human being. The throne we think we sit on in our life is already occupied, and God isn't moving over for any mere mortal.

I heard the DJ on BBN this morning talking about how Christians are supposed to live wanting to serve God’s will. I think this is the core of personal responsibility. You’re living in God’s will, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Veer off the path, and He’ll rewrite it to what He wants, but it will be harder. Because doing what’s wrong never leads to what’s right.

Certainly, there are times when we find ourselves at odds with other people, circumstances, or situations. Life isn’t perfect and in fact, we’re promised that problems will come. But we don’t have to make it worse with bad decisions that create unnecessary drama. Life will give you enough problems. I know I’m not in the market for any more problems, especially self-imposed ones or ones that aren’t my business. Are you?

One amazing thing I saw as Rearview Mirror developed is how four characters who were loosely connected and often at odds in Move came together to face the culmination of their problems. Throughout Move, these characters were in conflict, trying to one up, set up, or dodge one another in an isolated scramble to get what they wanted. Rearview Mirror brought them back together and forced them confront a new antagonist that took advantage of the chaos their poor choices created. They had to make a decision: keep fighting and go down one by one, or work together to make things right.  Even I was surprised by some of the decisions they made, given their unbreakable stubbornness in Move. But I have to stop here, lest I give too much away. You’ll just have to wait until it’s published to find out what happened!

And so, on this second week of Lent, I ponder what personal responsibility means to me, and how my journey through Rearview Mirror reflects my own life. Certainly, we’ve all had times when we stubbornly pursued our own way, just to be broken by the very thing we hoped to defeat. We don’t understand that everything has bigger reasons, and that being part of a bigger plan means that sometimes things help and sometimes they hurt. Humility comes at a high price if you place any value on pride. Ah, but pride is one of the deadly sins, so is breaking it really a loss?

Jesus spent 40 days in the desert being tempted by Satan and standing for what He knew was right, but in reality that battle isn’t limited to times and seasons. It’s something we face every day, in situations big and small, and we alone are responsible for which way we decide. C.S. Lewis once wrote that every decision we make takes us one step closer to Heaven or one step closer to hell, but the decision is ours to make each and every time. This is what personal responsibility is really about. Are your decisions taking you in the direction you want to go? If not, only you can reset the sails. In the end, each of us is ultimately responsible for our own soul.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a good rest of the week.

Bye!

 

Breaking Down "Breaking Bad"

8/11/2013

 
I read an interesting op/ed piece yesterday on CNN about how the show Breaking Bad mirrors the evil within us all. The writer described in great detail how her Christian faith helped her to see how this show mirrors the tough moral decision that we face in all of our lives, each and every day. I think it's a great piece and encourage you to follow the link and read it - after, of course, you read my humble opinion on it. I agree with all of the points in this write-up, but I think Breaking Bad is popular for more than the general reason of seeing the good versus evil battle from the other side of the equation. In fact, I believe we can break this show, and it's popularity, down to a more central, core issue than good and evil.

Breaking Bad is about what happens when you make money your god. I mean, isn't that really what it all boiled down to? Let's follow how the dominoes fall:

1. Walt White gets lung cancer. He battles whether or not to get treatment and thinks hey, maybe now, but
2. Skyler White wants him to get treatment, no matter what the cost, but
3. The problem is that they're broke, so
4. Walt goes on a drug bust with his brother-in-law and DEA agent, Hank Shrader, and gets the brainstorm that crystal meth makes money when he sees his former student, Jessie Pinkman, fleeing the scene of the bust, so
5. Walt approaches Jessie about going into business together ...

And that's how the dominoes start falling. The problem is, this is a secret too big to hide. And when Skyler finds out, she strikes back by having an affair with Ted Beneke, her boss, to get back at Walt. But the problem is, the drug money is not only paying for Walt's treatment, but many other things too. And money solves a lot of problems in their society. So the dominoes start falling, one by one, as the business build and the relationships deteriorate.

Think about it, and you'll see that this show is a 5 year battle of money verses, well, pretty much everything else in life. And this is something we can all relate to because frankly, we see it ourselves on smaller scales every day. For all the ladies that tell me this show is too "rough" for them to handle, I say that's crap. Really? You can't handle it? And how often do you buy lottery tickets and fanaticize about how you're going to take that money and tell the world to KMA? Okay, then.

We all know what it's like to be short on money and to have to make tough decisions. And really, think about it: how tempting would it be if you discovered that you have a skill like that that could bring in unimaginable amounts of cash and solve all your financial problems FOREVER? Would the fact that it's illegal deter you? How about if you were dying of cancer and leaving behind a family? Life isn't black and white and frankly, the moral battles are tougher when you're looking at life and death. Throw in regrets over past failures and missed opportunities and really, how would you stand? Nobody knows. And this show gives us a look at how one man did it.

But there are always consequences, and the consequences don't care about ends and means. Walt claims that he did everything he did "for the family," but I call crap on that because I remember the episode when he told Jessie he was building an empire to make up for the one he lost out on in the past - the business he sold out of for $5,000 that went on to make multi-millions. He started in it for the money, but the demons got a foothold through that chink in the armor and now the fame of Heisenburg is clamoring to make up for all of his other mistakes. Jessie is showing signs of cracking and Walt is, as Mike put it so well last season, is a bomb about to go off. Walt spends more time scrambling to cover his tracks than enjoying the fruits of his labors, which is the nature of the whole beast. When you put yourself in a place where you aren't meant to be, you have to work all the time to keep yourself there. Walt is learning that as this decision is taking it's toll on everything in his life. Sure, he decided to get out, but this particular "business" isn't exactly one you can quietly retire from. He thinks he has it handled, but we know the bomb is still ticking. And now, in these final 8 episodes, we see it go boom. Because you know there's no happy ending for anybody here. Not for anybody. The question is, where does the boom happen, and who goes out with it? 

We find out soon. The final 8 dominoes fall starting tonight at 9:00 on AMC. I'll be watching, along with the rest of you.

That's all today. Enjoy this video in honor of the final season of Breaking Bad and have a good week.

Bye!

False Security

6/25/2013

 
Picture
I'm glad there are some people out there that have never been bullied, challenged, or have been forced to suffer at the hands of people with ill intentions. I'm glad you've never had to go "head to head" with people that believe you need to be "fixed" because they believe you're too idealistic or that your morals are silly or stupid. I'm glad there are people that never  have to stand up to anything because they're never challenged and the world just falls at their feet. I'm glad they can confidently say "I don't get what your problem is" because they don't have any.

But you know what else? For all the security you project, I also pity you. I pity you because it's a false security. You never have to stand because you don't stand for anything. I pity you because you're blind to the realities that the world is bigger than you can possibly know, and that there are forces at work in this world and in the universe that you ignore because you can't put your hands on them. Because you don't see it with your eyes, you criticize. And you're on perilous ground.

Criticize my faith all you want. You will never turn me away. I believe in Christ and I believe in The Bible. I also believe in the one thing that makes most of you squirm and start screaming at me about why my faith can't be right: accountability. That's the one area where I'm called on the most. "If God is love, then He won't hurt us," people say to me boldly.

No, He won't. But others will. And if you do wrong, He won't save you from the consequences. He does love, He wants what's best. The Bible even says He wants no man to be lost. But we also have a choice, and it also says that believing in forgiveness isn't permission to sin. We know better and we're expected to act like it. If we don't, we will suffer at our own hand.

God won't hurt us, but we can hurt ourselves. And we do it  plenty. All the time. Every day. Every book I've written is about people who refused to be obedient to what they should do, and they suffered until they woke up, realized what was right, and did it. I'm not a religious writer, but I won't allow a character to win by doing wrong. That's a personal conviction. Any victory from doing wrong is temporary, and I want to show readers the path to lasting victory.

For all that smirk and say "Oh, then you say God delights in revenge but He's also love?" remember this: King David was a man after God's own heart, but he still paid for the sin of adultery. The son he fathered through that sin with Bathsheba died. God was grieved by this sin and forgave David, but He didn't erase the consequences of doing wrong. And it's why David didn't make that mistake again. He feels the same way when we go on with our bad selves and set ourselves up in similar ways. He's not a "smitey God" (as someone on Facebook proposed), but He won't absolve accountability. He will correct us in love and hope we will learn and not cling to stubbornness and continuing to make the same old mistakes, over and over. If there are no consequences, we never learn. If we never learn, we never grow, improve, or get better. We have no compassion for others because we are isolated in ourselves. Lack of accountability is a cycle of self destruction, which is why God won't allow that to happen. And so squirm all you want but we are accountable. You might think you are beholden to no-one, and you're wrong. You're dangerously wrong.

No, life isn't easy. It's hard and it hurts and it downright sucks sometimes. I'm not sure why some things are allowed to happen and I'll be honest enough to say that I have a "what good did THAT do?" list of my own. Sometimes I actually blog about things on this list. But I've learned this much in my 37 years on this planet: 

1. I don't have all the answers; and 

2. It's okay that I don't have all the answers. In fact, over the past couple of years, I've come to feel that I don't WANT all of the answers. That's more responsibility than I care for, and to me, faith is better than trying to process all of that. 

Believe or don't believe - it's your choice, and I'm not going to beat you over the head with a Bible or argue theology. In fact, I see the fact that you argue as a good thing. Because if you argue, then you're thinking about God and faith. And if you didn't care at all, then you wouldn't go to all of that trouble , because nobody's got time for that. 

Gotcha!

That's all today.

Bye!

The Meaning of the Season

12/23/2011

 
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s almost here: Christmas, the most magical time of the year. Weeks of planning, coordination, and frantic planning are about to come to their purpose as that blessed date finally arrives. 

As we come upon Christmas, I’d like to urge all of you to remember the reason for the season. It’s so easy to get caught up in full schedules, gift buying, parties, family, friends, food and fun that we forget WHY we’re celebrating. It isn’t about gifts, decorations, meals, or Santa. It’s about the most wonderful gift that humanity has been given: Christ, our King who brings our salvation. 

We talk about family, friends and church. These are wonderful gifts, but remember that the core of why we celebrate is the personal victory that Christ gave us when he died on the cross and defeated Satan for once and for all. It’s our responsibility to claim that victory and the free Grace of God that is offered with it. Nobody can do it for us. This is a free gift offered to each and every one of us and we alone must claim it. This is a time to give thanks for it. Remember that we join together to give thanks to Christ for coming into this world. We give gifts to one another as symbols of the wonderful gift of Salvation that Christ has given to us. We celebrate because we know that we’re free from the devastating consequences of sin on our soul and know we have eternal  life. 

I know the days ahead are full, but please take some quiet time to reflect on the reason for all of the activity in the coming days. Otherwise, it becomes another item on the “to do” list. Christ deserves better than that. 

It isn’t about putting on the “perfect holiday.” It’s about celebrating the “perfect gift” that we have, now and always, throughout all of eternity. Thanks be to God. 

Merry Christmas!

    Escape Reality

    By day, I'm a program assistant. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction offers an escape from the reality of day-to-day life. See how my experiences lead to creating new worlds! 

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