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What I Learned on My Christmas Break

1/6/2014

 
It's amazing what you learn about yourself after a couple of weeks off work. I really didn't think much of it until I returned to work today, but it turns out that I learned quite a few things about myself over the past couple of weeks. For example:

1. We can nurse a sick parakeet. Ollie had us worried with that nerve inflammation and groin strain. His mobility is very limited. But somehow, the Lord rose us to it. We got his cage reconfigured, and he's improved a lot in the past couple of weeks. The groin strain seems to be healing - he's gaining strength in his right foot, he's eating better, his energy is increasing, and he's gained 4 grams over the past couple of weeks. Thank you, Lord. Keep him healing. Keep us equipped to help in his healing. And go Ollie!

2. I can write a sequel. And I'm doing it. I always said that writing a sequel wasn't my thing, because my characters couldn't take any more once I was done with them. But the idea for a sequel to my last mystery novel, Move, came to me right before I got off for work, and it's taken off from there. So far, I've written 2 chapters, and it keeps flowing. I'm interested to see where this goes.

3. We can not leave the house for 2-3 days, and it doesn't bother us. Rick and the birds are pretty good company. And it's very nice to be home!

4. There are some silly commercials on TV. As if the Farmer's Only commercial isn't an annoying ear bug, the flying Nissan and the Dr. Pepper one with the bear rowing the guy in the boat is just all kinds of crazy. It seems silly is the way to go.

5. I can read 3 books in 2 weeks. I wondered if that was even possible, because I do good to finish reading a book in a month when I'm at work.

6. It's good to have your afternoons to do chores and errands so you can relax and watch TV at night. So that's how retirees and stay at homes spend their days. Secret revealed.

7. You can get a flu shot and still get the flu. That wasn't a good thing to learn - no more than learning that my thermometer threatens to spontaneously combust if your temperature is over 100 degrees, or that the swab they use to test you must go up your nose until  it hits your brain. But I did learn that Tamiflu works, especially if you catch it within the first 24 hours of getting symptoms.

8. We're the cleanest people in the world. We must be, because I can't believe how much trash we took to the dump while we were off. We throw everything away.

9. Getting up early isn't even for the birds. Zack, Chloe, and Ollie didn't wake us up a single time while we off. In fact, they seemed to like sleeping past sunrise. Then again, they have human servants, so why should they worry about getting a worm - especially when they don't eat worms.

10. Working takes a lot of energy. Maybe the flu took more out of me than I realized. Maybe I got lazy. Maybe it's a combination of both, but I was exhausted today! You don't realize how much energy it takes to remain active and alert all day long until you get away from it for a while. Whew!

Well, how about that. It seems there were some things about myself that I didn't know. I guess that's what they mean when they say "live and learn." And amazingly, you can learn as much from a break as you can from work. Now is it useful? We shall see ...

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

Another Christmas Gone

12/29/2013

 
Well, it's official. We took down the Christmas decorations today. Amongst much squawking and objection from the parrots, we packed up the trees, the stockings, the decorations, and the holiday nick nacks. There will be no porch lights coming on at dark. There will be no switching a tree on. The house is back to normal, and Christmas 2013 is officially past.

It's always sad, and a bit of a bummer. But, as I pointed out to Chloe as I stashed away the last few items in the cedar chest, it's part of the natural cycle. We have Zack's birthday, a chance to start anew on New Years Day, and a season of winter rest. Then spring will come, along with her birthday, and the flowers and trees will bloom. Then summer comes with Ollie's birthday and the nice, long, warm days. Then fall with it's beautiful colors and golden sunshine and cooler temperatures. And then it's back again - Christmas, in all it's glory, will be back before you know it. They'll get excited again as we hang the stockings while grumbling "it seems we just put these away!" Christmas always comes. That's one thing you can count on.

These slow days between Christmas and New Year might seem like a bummer, but I think they're a great opportunity to decompress from the year past and prepare for the year ahead. No doubt, we've all seen and been through a lot (for better or for worse - or both!). We need some slow time to process it all and to determine where we go from here. It's not all bad, and maybe the natural tendency to hibernate during these short winter days gives us a great chance to get back to basics and to really and truly see what matters most to us. What do we want to see grow in our lives? What seeds do we need to plant to help our hopes and dreams to see the sun? What do we want to keep and nurture? What do we need to let go of? It's so easy to blindly jump back into the same old fray without considering how we've changed and grown in the past year. Let's not be so quick to do that this time. Let's take these last days of 2013 to make wise decisions on how to move forward in 2014 and beyond.

Yes, the last week of the year is a somewhat weird place to be. But that's ok. We need to break the cycle every now and then to decide if it's a cycle worth continuing, or if it needs some updating and tweaking to work better.

That's all today. Take care and have a great week.

Bye!

The Holiday What's Up Letter

12/25/2013

 

What's Christmas unless somebody sends you one of those AWFUL CHRISTMAS LETTERS where they detail every pit stop and rest stop in their life over the past year? Well folks, here's your digital edition. I'm proud to present to you, on Christmas Day 2013, THE HOLIDAY WHAT'S UP LETTER!

Don't worry, I'll summarize. Maybe.

First up is family. Overall, they're all doing well. Rick and I have caught every darn virus going around since he had to start working with student iPads at his school. It takes a while to build up an immunity to that crap, and it seems we'll both have to do that. As you know from recent social media posts, he also got an infection in a root canal he had in 2000. They had to go in, clean it up, clear up the infection, and then go back in and redo the root canal. They finished that on Monday and gave him a clean bill of health - finally, after 2 months of struggling with that.

The birds are doing well. Zack got an upper respiratory infection in September, but that cleared up quickly. He has a birthday coming up next week - he'll be 14! And before you blurt out the spontaneous "holy crap!" that's not even middle age for sun conures. They can live to be 30. Chloe is 10, and Ollie, our budgie, is 3. We hope that youth being on his side will help him. Ollie got a kidney infection in October that caused nerve inflammation in his left leg. We got the infection cleared up, and then he took a tumble earlier this month that caused a strain in his groin muscle - so now he has 2 leg injuries! After 4 visits to the vet and 2 rounds of antibiotics, they finally sent us home with a "make him comfortable and settle in for a long ride." Nerve inflammation takes a while to heal, and they said it could be spring or summer before he completely recovers. He also seems to be a slow healer (poor fellow, just like his mommy!), so this has been quite tough on me and Rick. It's hard to see him in pain and be able to do - nothing. They've given him a couple of anti-inflammatory shots and those really helped, but the problem is that they don't want to keep doing that because he's so small and it's very easy to overdose. So we're back to toughing it out. As I said, it's not easy, but we're committed to his healing. It's possible, and we want to give him every chance at living out his maximum life expectancy.

Mom and Dad are doing well. Dad cut back his work schedule to three and a half day weeks late last summer. He's thinking about retirement, but I don't think it's gone much past the thinking stage at this point. He's half owner of the company, so it's not a simple matter of "sign here and enjoy your retirement." It takes a bit more planning when you're an owner. For now, he (and Mom) are enjoying the shorter work weeks. Mom's very glad he's home more. People who work in the Engineering field put in some long hours. Even at part time, he still averages about 7-8 hours less per week than I do working full time for State Government!

My brother and sister-in-law, Nicole, are doing well. Stephen is still working for State Government as a CPA (different department than me), and Nicole is still doing medical transcription for the hospital. She has changed her schedule to work half her time at the hospital and half her time from home. She actually liked the change. She said working from home all the time was a bit confining, and it's good to get out. I don't know. It seems that would be a sweet deal to me, but I guess it's not all it's cracked up to be. She's happy with the change, though, and that's what matters. We saw them yesterday and they were happy and in very good spirits.

The in-laws (Rick's family) are about the same. His dad's dementia is like a yo-yo, which is pretty standard for dementia. They always joked that he never had a bad day in front of me, but that's changed in the past 7 months. He gets "fixated" on things, and he does get quite confused. It can be frustrating and difficult because he has spells where he's not "with us," and we can't figure out where he's at, mentally. Thankfully, I've heard that the kind he has generally doesn't lead to losing recognition of people, at least until the very late stages. In other news, our oldest niece will be graduating high school in the spring. She's considering either Auburn or Clemson. She wants to be an Engineer, and I can vouch for those both having great Engineering programs.

The reason I can vouch for where the great Engineering programs are at is because I had to fill in as the program assistant for that Board for 11 months. My counterpart on that Board moved on to another position in the agency a year ago. We split the duties amongst the staff, but my boss (at the time) wanted me to handle the Board, so I got to take that over. Wow, it was a shock. The Engineering Board is HUGE compared to my landscape architects (5 members with about 650 licensees), and soil classifiers (5 members with about 50 licensees). They're an 8 member board with around 17,000 licensees. One of the members resigned in January to take a post on another board but still, it was a shock. I made it, and I learned A LOT in the process. It was stressful. This was compounded by the fact that my boss retired in June and the first replacement we got for the position resigned in July to return to her former job in her family business. Lots of transition in the workplace over the past year. At one point, I called 2013 "the year of resignation," but I realized how awful that sounded. I understand people "doing what they gotta do" and would never begrudge anybody an opportunity to improve themselves or their lives, but you have to understand that people live in a community, and when one member leaves, it causes waves through the whole system. And when three leave, well, it's a period of a tidal wave there. Not easy, but by the grace of God we made it. All of the vacancies are now filled and everybody's been trained and taken over their duties, so we're settling back in. But we do miss those that left us in 2012-2013.

Writing wise, it was my best year yet. I self published Feathered Frenzy and Move through Smashwords in February, and Splinter was released through Whiskey Creek Press in November. All of these books were big efforts, and I was happy to publish them. In fact, I'm starting the brainstorming and research for a sequel to Move now, and I have a sci-fi novella titled Incursion in progress now. It seems I've gotten into working on two projects at a time, which can be challenging sometimes. The key is to make sure each one is at a different stage of progression. The sci-fi novella, for example, is ready to edit and finalize when I return to it in January, whereas the sequel to Move is, as I like to say "on the drawing board" (it's in the planning stages now and I probably won't start writing until late January or February). I've also written a few short stories and articles, and I continue to write for a mystery newsletter and to promote my published works as best as I can.

Church is also making good progress. We finally called a new pastor after a year and a half without one, and he's starting in January. Rick continued to serve on the technology committee at church even though his term on church council ended last year. I didn't do any committee work this year with the church because of my extra job duties and having so much on me with my writing, but that bothered me. I liked being more involved in church, so I've rejoined the technology committee for 2014. My role on that committee was mainly administrative before and the new chair has that covered, so I guess we'll see how else I can contribute to it when I return. But it's good to be back and to get involved again. I really did miss it. But I think taking the year off from volunteering helped me to see how much it meant to me and where I felt I really fit in. I'm excited about it.

Rick and I had a fantastic opportunity in late February and early March. My landscape architect program sent me to Scottsdale, Arizona for a conference. We decided to take advantage of our time out there and took a couple of extra days to drive up and see The Grand Canyon. I'm glad we did. Pictures can't do it justice - it's absolutely amazing. The whole trip was great too - you can click back to March 2013 for an entire entry on my Arizona trip. Historic Scottsdale is a great place too. It was kind of neat to be there where it was 80 degrees, and seeing posts from back home that it was cold and windy (I tried not to brag, but it was a nice break from winter!). Arizona is just a great place. The whole trip was a once in a lifetime experience, a


There's been a lot more that happened in 2013, but this entry is long enough and the excess is just that - minor things that really didn't amount to a hill of beans. I believe this hits the high points, and if I think of anything else, I'll add it in another entry.

That's all today. Thanks for reading and for supporting this website and my writing. You're all great friends and I wish you all the best, now and forever. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

Bye!

Peace on Earth?

12/19/2013

 
I recently read an article on the seven deadly sins by state. Geographers from Kansas State plotted the 7 deadly sins on a map of the U.S., and I found the results interesting. I’d encourage you to take a look at the map to see how your state stacks up.

According to the map, we in South Carolina have a problem with envy, wrath, lust, and pride. Four out of seven isn’t good, but then again, it doesn’t surprise me. We have a lot of “Sunday Morning Christians” here. Sad but true: church attendance is harped on a lot in the Bible Belt, but walking the walk doesn’t tend to happen the other six days of the week. I fear this map exposes an ugly truth that it’s all just show, and we hope our Sunday morning activities are wiping away the consequences of the rest of our life. Cut somebody off in traffic, and they’ll flip you the bird as fast as they say “God bless you” when you sneeze.

This map shows that we’re all hypocrites. We talk of living by higher standards and better morals, but the fact is that we all have our faults, and we all hold different standards for others than we do for ourselves. These geographers busted us, plain and simple. They got the statistics that don’t lie, and organized and categorized it with names that we have no excuse for not recognizing.

I think it’s a good reminder, though, and especially at this time of year when we talk of salvation and peace on Earth. It’s  good to hold up a mirror every now and then and take a good, hard look at reality. It’s good to humble ourselves and recognize the true meaning of why we needed Christ to come. Because with all of the gift giving and stress over creating “the perfect holiday,” it’s easy to forget that the true gift was given to us. We have nothing to give God that He doesn’t already have. You can’t bribe Him. You can’t hide the truth from Him. You can’t play “lets make a deal” with Him. The only thing you can give Him is your heart.

Talk doesn’t matter. It’s just noise. And according to this map, we’re making a hell of a lot of noise. Literally! So much for Peace on Earth.

But there is good news, and we celebrate it every time this year. It’s that hope has arrived, and it’s a free gift to us all. No strings attached. Just believe and receive. And if you mean it, then you can have a peace beyond all understanding. It might not be Peace on Earth, but peace in your own soul is invaluable. And it’s right there, if only you believe. But it’s not a “one and done” decision, or even a “every Sunday morning” decision. This is a decision you have to make each and every day. And yes, I know I need to try harder at this, just like everybody else.

That’s all today. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend.

Bye!

Best Gifts on a Budget

12/12/2013

 
What are the best gifts you’ve received that weren’t “big ticket” items? I’m not talking about jewelry, technology, electronics, or other fancy purchases like high end clothes (or cars!). I mean the small stuff that you found to be valuable.

The world is really putting on the ritz now, and everybody has their best stuff out. The problem is; we can’t spend as much as we’d like on gift giving. Budgets are an ugly reality in this economy that won’t seem to rebound. The good news is that great  gifts don’t have to break the bank, and it’s possible to get friends, neighbors, colleagues and others wonderful, thoughtful gifts that they will appreciate and use on a daily basis. While candy seems to be a usual default, well, there’s plenty of that. If you want to get something unique, here are a few ideas for friends, neighbors, colleagues, or others on your gift list that you want to buy for, but don’t know how:

  1. Books, movies, or TV series on DVD. Great variety and wonderful entertainment for the cold months when it’s great to stay at home, or to take on mobile devices when you’re on the go.

  2. Weather radios. I absolutely love ours.  I listen to it every morning while I do hair and makeup. This is something that everybody should have in their home. You can get them in a variety of styles and designs, from simple radios to the fancier ones that you can set with a county code to give you weather alerts. If you know somebody that doesn’t have a weather radio, get them one for Christmas this year. Don’t forget the battery for the backup, too.

  3. Computer accessories – especially laptop cooling mats, a wireless mouse, microfiber screen wipe cloths, or flash drives. If you know somebody that’s on their computer a lot, you can’t go wrong with these accessories. If you know somebody that uses their computer on a daily basis (especially a laptop), then they can definitely use these things. 

  4. A firesafe box. This is something else that everybody should have in their house. Smaller ones aren’t too expensive, and it’s a great thing to keep important documents or valuables in.

  5. A paper shredder. Again, they run in a variety of price ranges, but a small one isn’t very expensive and this is something that everybody can use.

  6. Crock pots. These are a working person’s best friend, because you can put the ingredients in the pot before work, and have a meal ready when you get home. Little effort, little fuss, little mess. They come in a variety of sizes and aren’t very expensive.  In fact, Rick and I have gone through 2 of these in the 15 years we’ve been married.

  7. Stress “squeeze” balls. These are great  for office workers or people that type a lot, because they’re the best way to relieve hand tension. They’re great novelty items too, because they come in a variety of sizes and designs.

  8. Tervis Tumblers or other “thermo” style mugs. The world is overrun with Christmas coffee mugs this time of year, so step outside of the box and get them a thermo mug or, if your budget will allow, a Tervis Tumbler. My previous boss got us Tervis Tumblers last year, and I’ve used mine practically every day since. I can put my water in it when I get to work, and it’s still cold at the end of the day (if there’s any left). These are great because they can be used year-round for hot or cold beverages.

  9. Study Bibles and/or Devotional Books. A Bible that details a year long reading plan is a great gift for church friends. If they already have one, there are plenty of year long devotional books on the market right now. If you aren’t sure of their religious preferences, Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy is a great women’s devotional. It was published in the mid 90’s, but the devotions on pursuing authenticity are still great and timely today.

  10. Slipper socks. I raised my eyebrows a few years back when several co-workers gave these as gifts, but I use them during the winter all the time! They’re great (and were a real Godsend when I sprained my ankle a few years ago). Don’t underestimate this gift. They might not have a “wow” reaction to it at first, but they’ll say “wow” when they get home and try them.

  11. Make up kits. These were a “big thing” to get teens and pre-teens back in the days before computers and iPods, and they’re great for adults too. Make up kits with eyeshadow, blusher, and lip gloss are a great gift because they offer a variety of make-up options, all in one. They’re great for traveling, too.

  12. Gift subscriptions. Love your Netflix? Know somebody that also likes movies but hasn’t discovered it’s magic yet? Give them a trial membership. The same can go for magazines or other services that you think people might appreciate. I just urge you to keep one thing in mind: check with them to make sure it’s something they’d like, because this can easily become a “cop out” gift over time if you don’t communicate with the recipient to make sure it’s a gift that they WANT to keep on getting.

  13.  Gift cards. There are some people that think gift cards are a “cop out” gift, but I think this actually shows that you trust and respect their judgment. Gift cards are a great way to allow people to gift themselves whenever and wherever they prefer, and it shows that you pay attention to their tastes and preferences. Even a $10 gift card to a store, restaurant, or movie theater that you know they like gives them the freedom to go out and enjoy life their own way. And if they’re on a tight budget, it gives them relief to get what they want or need without anxiety.

  14. Electronic “pocket games.” If you need a White Elephant gift or something simple but fun, these are great. I still love the Yahtzee game that Rick stuck in my stocking 10 years ago, and I’ve seen variations on other games at discount stores. (Check the boys’ toy aisle if they don’t have them on a novelty shelf somewhere) Most of them run under $10. But be careful. You might cackle at it, but they can get addictive!

  15. Sampler gift bags. The past couple of years, I made gift bags for my co-workers with sample items of products that I regularly use: hand lotion, lip gloss, a nail file, tweezers or small manicure scissors, shower gel, nail polish – just small things that I enjoy. Another co-worker did this, and she put in a pocket size flashlight in her bag. You can find lots of little sample items or small things to include in a sample bag, and you set the budget for it. Gather up some samples or small items that you enjoy, put them in a gift bag with some tissue paper, and you have a fun, practical gift that people will enjoy.

So there you have it – 15 tested, tried and true gift ideas for 2013. I hope this inspires some ideas of your own, and helps you with your own gift shopping.

Take care and have a great week.

Bye!

 

Tips to Survive the Holidays

11/26/2013

 
As we enter the 2013 holiday season, I’d like to urge you to be aware of a few things:

1.  Drive carefully. In January, I heard a highway patrolman say that the State of South Carolina averaged 2 fatal car accidents between Thanksgiving 2012 and New Year’s Day 2013. “That was two families we had to call every day to tell them their loved ones were never coming home. It was awful,” he said. I wish you could have heard his voice, because it would have gotten the message through to you loud and clear. When you drive this holiday season, lay aside all distractions and fully focus on operating your vehicle. The text, call, clock, and to-do list can wait. Life isn’t a video game. Dead is dead forever. So please, drive carefully. 

2.  Be patient, and plan more time for everything. Everybody crawls out of their hole, gets in the car, and goes this time of year. It’s more traffic, more crowds, more lines, and more waits. What took 10 minutes in October can very likely take 30 minutes or longer now. You need a pound of patience to get through the holiday rush, and unfortunately most of us don’t have that much. So plan ahead, be practical, and understand that things are going to take longer to get done for the next six weeks. 

3.  With that being said, I also urge you to be mindful of deadlines. Strange but true: the world is still operating and there’s still plenty to be done in the coming weeks. Don’t let deadlines sneak up on you. If you’re have a goal to get something done before the end of the year, get started (you really should have started in early November) and look for deadlines. Remember that this is peak season for many businesses as they close out for the calendar year – it’s not limited to retail. Sit down with your calendar today to make your goals, figure out deadlines, and find out how to get things done without the last minute OMG attacking you right when you don’t need it most. 

4.   Be mindful of your finances and get organized. With so many Christmas presents to buy, it’s easy to lose track of what you’ve bought, how much you’ve spent, and what you’ve missed. After you figure out the deadlines in #3 above, make another list of people you need to buy presents for and take an inventory of what you need to put Christmas on this year. Save that list in your smartphone and update it daily if you must. There are lots of ploys and traps to part you from your money this time of year, so be smart and be aware. Do you really need that giggling penguin with its foot smooshed in a cupcake? Do you really want it? If you think about it a little longer, I’ll bet you’ll actually find it quite disturbing. 

5.  Watch what you eat. By this, I mean that goodies are everywhere. Before you eat something, ask yourself if you’re really hungry. It’s easy to mindlessly munch (especially if you work in an office), and then hit a midday slump or reach for the TUMS without realizing you did your own self in. So be mindful of your noshing in the days ahead.  

6.  Take some breaks. The holidays can be a fun time of year, but it’s easy to get “Christmas overload.” I know you want to enjoy the season and all the fun that you only get once a year, but turning off the holiday carols for a day, foregoing a holiday movie in lieu of a sci-fi movie, or leaving one room undecorated doesn’t make you a Grinch. It makes you a well balanced human being. 

7.    Plan some time to yourself. It’s also easy to get social overload with the constant bombardment of celebrating with family and friends. Yes, it’s good to see everybody, but you also need some time to yourself to rest and restore your balance, and you need to take care of yourself. Again, skipping an event here or a party there doesn’t make you a Grinch. It makes you a savvy entrepreneur of your time. Face it; nobody can do it all during the holiday season. Pick what you like best and do that. The holidays will always come back around, and you can catch a few things you missed next year. 

8.   Realize that how others act is a 100% reflection on them and a 0% reflection on your or anybody else. We naturally deal with more people this time of year, and as such the emotions will flare up. Human beings have a complex yet not really sophisticated array of defense mechanisms to deflect the responsibility of their behavior to others, but the wise among us realize these tricks and know that each is responsible for himself alone. You simply can’t take everything people say or do to heart. I wrote an entire blog entry on this last holiday season called “Don’t Flinch,” and that’s exactly what I remind you to do again. People will certainly, get emotional and have fits of their some variety at some point in the coming weeks. Say no to the drama. Don’t cave into that. As my brother once told me, you don’t have to take other peoples’ problems just because they want you to, and you shouldn’t. Let them keep that crap. Take the higher ground. Stand firm in what you know is right. And Godsake, don’t flinch.  

9.    Be aware of what’s going on around you. It’s easy to get sucked into our own little world with such long to-do lists this time of year. It’s also dangerous. Diversion and inattentiveness are why so many people get attacked and robbed this time of hear. Be aware of your surrounds and the people around you, and take proper precautions to secure yourself and your stuff. It really isn’t as hard as it seems. Just pay attention.

10.  Have fun. I think this is the biggest thing we forget. We keep saying “as soon as I get this done, I’ll relax,” or “as soon as that event/date/get-together is here, I’ll be ok.” Don’t defer your joy. There are things to enjoy in every day, holiday related or not. Find them. Enjoy them. Give thanks for all the blessings you have. And be grateful that we have a fun holiday season in these dark days of approaching winter, because it really gives light to a time of year that would be blah, boring, and depressing otherwise. 

That’s all today. I wish all of you a safe and Happy Thanksgiving and a wonderful weekend. 

Bye!

New Year's Meditations

1/1/2013

 
New Year's night is a melancholy time. You're coming off the high of the holidays and trying to squeeze out those last few precious moments of escaping reality before returning to work. It's ironic - we bring in the new year with celebrations and resolutions to improve and make the coming year better, but we're forced to return to the same old routine on January 2 and face the challenges of bring in new resolve to the same old things, day after day. 

Getting back into the routine will be hard tomorrow. There's  no sleeping in tomorrow morning. No more slow starts to the day. No taking it slow through the morning and afternoon. No twinking lights on the porch and window to welcome me home from work. No cards in the mail with well wishes. No parties or celebrations on the calendar. All the presents have been given. The cards have been sent. The Christmas decorations are down and packed away and the house is cleaned. Celebrations have been had with family and friends. It's nothing but the alarm going off at six in the morning to launch me into another day; one that will look much like the days before the holidays were upon us. Supper to put on the table after work. Get on the treadmill. Play with the birds. Work on writing or keep house. Go to bed. Repeat the next day. Two day weekend reprieves after every five days of work to catch up on what didn't get done during the week. Nothing on the calendar but meetings and appointments to prepare for and the humdrum of the everyday again.

It can be depressing. And yet, maybe now. Maybe this dormant period, this period of dullness, is exactly what we need to start again. Perhaps what we need is not newness of our situation, but newness of how we approach the life we have, day in and day out. 99% of living is done in the mundane of the everyday. If we are to accomplish that resolve for change; if we are to improve; we must do it within the life we have. Change comes through dealing with the everyday in new and different ways. It comes from altering our perspective of that same old routine. It comes with determination to do it right, to do it better, to do it more effectively, than the way we did it before.

It's a challenge. I look ahead and see miles of the same old road I always walk, wondering how I can walk it better. That's the real purpose of resolutions, isn't it? To be better. To do better. To make small changes that lead to big, powerful results that light up that road with hope and a future.

So this new years night, I ponder how I'll make this walk a better one than it was in 2012. I look at what I have and study it to see how I can do things better through creating better balance. It's an ongoing challenge, but one I believe I'm up to.

Happy New Year, everybody. I hope your holiday season was merry and bright, and that you're starting out 2013 with good plans and hope for a bright future.

Bye!

Who Needs a Holiday Detox?

12/27/2012

 
What is holiday detox, you ask? Well readers, it's that period immediately following Christmas when you're so tired and burned out that you can't motivate yourself to do anything. The house is a mess and you don't care. The "to do" list is growing, and you say to hell with it. You're worn out from celebrating with all the family, food, fun, presents, and to do of the holidays and you want to hibernate in bed for, oh, the rest of the winter to recover.

Be honest, who's there? Has anybody else had a wee bit of a problem motivating themselves to do things they don't want to do?

I know I am. I'm Christmased out. The holidays are nice, but it's time for them to move along out of here. I fully believe that the days between Christmas and New Year's Day are a time when the world needs to back off and let us be lazy, just for a little while. We need some time to ourselves before we get back to the grind. We need a break to rest and recuperate from the heavy activity of the holidays. We need to drop out for a while and tend to our own wants and needs. And that's not a bad thing. In fact, we probably need it more often than just post-holidays. We need to take time to ourselves regularly. If we work ourselves to death, we'll eventually break down and then we won't be good to anybody.

I think that's one good resolution to make for the new year - to take more time out for yourself. I know a lot of people would say that's selfish and rude, but I'd counter that those accusers aren't truly in touch with themselves and need to take this opportunity to get in balance themselves. (Or they're selfish jerks that think everybody in the world should be their handservant and their attitude needs correcting - but that's one for another entry.) If there's one truth I've seen this holiday season, it's that the world isn't going to give you a break. It will work you to death and wear you down to nothing. It's our responsibility to keep life in balance, and to work things out for the best. We have to be aware of what's going on and what we have, and to stay alert and in balance. To do that, it's necessary for us to say "no" to the demands of the world every now and then and tend to our personal needs. The best way to do that is to take regular time outs. And the world won't give them to us, so we have to take them. I say resolution #1 is to take what we need to be our best, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Block out time to yourself that's not open to anybody. Setting boundaries isn't wrong.  In fact, it's the only way to achieve confidence and to have balance in your life.

So go ahead and take a break - God knows, you need it. And make that a habit in the future, while you're at it. ;)

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

The Holiday Wazzup Letter!

12/23/2012

 
Dear Friends:

We hope this digital letter finds you safe, healthy, happy, and enjoying a wonderful holiday season. In the spirit of the annual holiday letter, I thought it would be fun to share some of the highlights of the past year with you.

I know, this is a blog. You've been keeping up. But for the sake of those that don't like to log in twice a week for my ramblings, well, here's a summary:

Rick just wrapped up a 3 year term on church council at Mt. Tabor. He was heading up the IT committee and did a great job updating the website (which was his major project for his first year on council) and with keeping up staff technology needs. It did get to be a bit of a challenge this year, though. We lost both of our pastors this year - the head pastor left for a higher position with the Synod in March, and the associate pastor left to head up a congregation in Charleston, which is where he's from. It was tough losing them - and then major changes at Rick's job drastically altared his work situation, which has required more overtime work and made serving a bit more challenging. But he stuck in there and was determined to see his term through. We're very proud of him for hanging in there despite the challenges of the past few months, and for all he's done for the church. You can check out the church website that he designed at www.mttaborlutheran.org .

Unfortunately, I had to quit both of my church committees. I had always planned to step down from the IT committee when Rick's term ended, but major changes in my own work situation and my writing picking up cut significantly into my spare time for volunteer activities. There are some things and events that I do hope to continue participating in, but right now being on a standing committee isn't something that's practical for me. It's a shame, too, because I enjoyed it and hated to give it up. Maybe in another season of life.

My work has picked up with additional duties. I'm now working with 4 licensure programs, and recent staff shortages have put more of a burden on remaining staff. I do finally have a window office, which is good (although I got the workload that came with it), and I'm also required to travel twice a year for the landscape architect program. Last year I attended the spring meeting in late February in Miami, and the national meeting in September in San Francisco. That trip to Miami was the first time I've ever flown! It's not bad, either. And while I'm not a big fan of travel, well, I'm hanging in there to see how it works out. The next meeting up is the regional meeting in Scottsdale, Arizona in March. We'll see. That's all I can say for now. Overall the job is good, although it has been very stressful lately. Our workload usually peaks in December (exam deadlines, plus people in a rush to get licensed to get projects in the new year), and being down a person has been hard. Hopefully, we'll fill that open position soon and things will level out. I'm off work until January 2, so hopefully some time with family, friends, and at home with Rick and the birds will do me some good.

My writing is also making progress. I published my second fiction novel, Anywhere But Here, through Whiskey Creek Press in April. They offered me a contract for my third fiction novel, a sci-fi apocolyptic novel titled Splinter, last summer. I'm already working on two writing projects now that I hope to wrap up in the spring. One is another mystery novel titled Move. It's about a young woman that unknowingly makes a deal with a djinn (genie), but unfortunately his help is rather radical and leads to more problems than solutions. The other is a non-fiction book titled Feathered Frenzy. It's basically a "quick reference guide" to give people tips on making their home and lifestyle bird-friendly. And believe it or not, I ALREADY have an idea for my next project. That one is still in a very early brainstorming stage. I'm not even considering working on that one more until I get my two current projects finished. I'm building an audience and working on many promotional things for my published novels. It's slow work, but worth it. I enjoy writing and I think going the "independent author" route was the right choice - especially with the traditional route going into decline as e-publishing picks up. I hope I hit the e-book wave at just the right time!

The birds are doing well. They'll be doing their own Christmas letter to you on their blog over at http://conurecorner.weebly.com soon. Santa has big plans for them and I think we're going to have three very happy birdies in a couple of days!

Our families are doing well. Mom and Dad are staying busy, as usual. Mom had surgery for carpral tunnel last summer and I tell you, that's the fastest surgery recovery I've ever seen! She was back up and running in no time! Dad is still working. Retirement talk comes up from time to time, but no definite plans or timeline yet. I tell you, those design professionals - they love their work and don't like to retire! Stephen and Nicole are doing well too. Stephen's still keeping them straight as a department head at Public Safety, and Nicole is working at home in medical transcription. She graduated from a medical management program in the spring, but unfortunately she had to have surgery for diverticulitis shortly after graduation, so that was an unexpected hiccup in her life. But she's doing fine now and moving forward again.

Rick's parents are also doing ok. You know his father has dementia, so there are good days and bad days - that's just how it goes with that. They joined the Methodist church up the road last month. Our nieces and Rick's sister and brother-in-law are also doing well. We just got back from our Christmas visit with them in Greenville this morning. They stay busy with work, school, and activities - much like all of us.

And yes, in case any of you are wondering, I did complete my New Year's resolution of reading through The Bible again this year. I actually finished it in September!

Well, that's pretty much it. We are truly blessed and thank God every day for all that He has done for us and allowed us to do for others. We hope all of you are doing well and that life is being good to you. You know that everybody is welcome to visit this website and blog. I strive to update it at least twice a week. Some people have themes for their blogs and while the theme of this website is my writing, the blog isn't limited to that. In fact, I believe all of life inspires my writing, and this blog is open to anything and everything happening in life. Feel free to read, share, and pass it along to anybody interested, whether it's family, friends, readers, other writers, or anybody that's interested in how one writer's life inspires her tales!

Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season and that your new year is filled with joy, peace and prosperity.

God bless and best wishes,

Rick and Sherri

The Poinsettia Delimma

12/6/2012

 
Picture
What’s wrong with this picture? To you, probably nothing. To me, a lot.  Now, finally, I’m going to tell you why I have a rather complex issue with red poinsettias. It’s a story that began on this very night 25 years ago. 

My grandmother died on December 6, 1987. Big whoop, I hear you say, everybody loses grandparents. I mean, Rick’s grandmother died on December 21, 2000 and he has no issues of this type, so what’s the deal? I’ll tell you what the deal is. First of all, Nana’s death was the first major loss I suffered in my life. Other elderly relatives had passed away, of course – great aunts and great uncles, but at age 12 this was my first brush with death taking somebody close to me. And I was close to my maternal grandparents. It wasn’t the “see you a few times a year and at the holidays” grandparents. They lived next door to us. My brother and I had no babysitter because we stayed with them if we weren’t at a friend’s house. We were close to Nana and Granddaddy and this was the first time I experienced the
death of somebody that was a regular part of my life. 

Those are things you deal with over time. Of course I still miss her (and Granddaddy, who died less than 2 years later), but by and large I have moved on from that. I realize the world has changed a lot and they’d be miserable in it now. I realize they’d want everybody to go on living, to be happy, and to have the best life we can until we meet again (but hopefully not too soon). I thought I had this covered and was good, until 5 years ago, when Rick and I moved in the home we built and he asked me to get some red poinsettias for the house. We finally have a nice house, he said, so let’s fix it up right. So off I went to dutifully get them and once I was at the store, I panicked. There they were, blood red and mocking me. I got a bit short winded. My heart raced. I couldn’t do it. I bought a white one instead. Rick looked at me funny. 

“It’s pretty,” he said, “but I thought you liked red. Didn’t they have any?”

“Yes they did, but I didn’t want it.”

“Why?”

I found myself face to face with an issue I thought was deal with. See, when Nana died, people sent red poinsettias. Lots of red poinsettias. Our house was full of them. Granddaddy’s house was full of them. And frankly, for years I couldn’t recall much about her funeral until I saw that huge rack of red poinsettias in my face
and all of a sudden, it came back to me. Obviously, I had blocked a lot of the painful memories of that bad Christmas and it all came back to me – and continued to, every time I saw red poinsettias. 

But wait, that’s not all …

For three years, I let it go. Time, I decided, would heal, and it was just one thing. But two years ago, I went through some major life transitions and decided that while I was doing some life and spiritual “housecleaning, then it was time for me to do something about this too. My life was being rewritten, and I determined that if
I was going to change my life, then I was going to do it right and make the best of all things, and this was definitely a chink in my armor that I allowed for far too long. It was silly, really. I grew up. I have a good life. But it seemed there was a 12 year old inside me that was still hurting, and that had to be dealt with. I refused to be held captive to my past. That’s just stupid. So I had a brilliant idea. I hadn’t been to the cemetery where my grandparents were buried since their funerals. I needed to go out there, I thought, and pay my final respects. It was time to face their loss as an adult. I was driving by while running some work related errands, so I decided I’d make a quick stop and get this done. So one cold day two years ago, I made my first stop to the church cemetery in a very, very long time. I found their burial plots, took a deep breath, and …

 I had nothing. I mean, not one thing to say. I was looking around that cemetery and it hit me: These people are done with life and this world. They don’t belong here. Their labors are over and now they rest and are in glory. They don’t care. It’s not their problem and there’s no wisdom or help here (as it seems our church members
aren’t ones for epitaphs, and the ones they had weren’t *ahem* brilliant parting words). The world belongs to the living and it’s up to us to make things right and keep on going the best we can. 

So I dealt with it the best I could, and left feeling much better. The problem is, there were some side effects. I was no longer plagued with grief and bad memories. They were soon replaced with something more … bizarre. 

I left my grief at the cemetery, but the problem is that I picked up something that I didn’t realize followed me. Since that time, I’ve been plagued with recurring dreams of walking in a cemetery. I’m looking for my grandparent’s burial site, but I can’t find it because there aren’t any names on the tombstones. After wandering around for a while, I get pissed off, say “to hell with this, I’m leaving!” and wake up. It’s not often – maybe every few months, but it most recently happened night before last. I always wake up from that dream pissed off and frustrated. Seriously? Again? And after 2 years of searching for meaning, I finally decided its sole purpose is to mock me and make me mad. I mean, geeze. If paying my respects causes my mind to do wacky stuff like that, I might as well skip the trip to the cemetery, get a cheeseburger basket at the Fat Boys down the road, and do a drive-by wave at the graveyard! It’s easier, less trouble, and I get a good meal out of it, right?

Then I visualize myself driving by the cemetery with a French fry in my mouth waving and saying “hi guys, it’s all good!” as I zoom along Highway 1 with other people gawking at whatever-the-hell-I’m-doing and I laugh at my own insanity. So now, every time I see red poinsettias, I think of cheeseburgers, French fries and seeing how fast I can drive up Highway 1, and I shake my head at … myself.

 Well, my own crazy ideas are better than sad memories and anxiety attacks, I suppose. At least my distaste for red poinsettias has settled into a more dissociated issue, but I still buy poinsettias in other colors. I have an awesome blue one in our entry way with silver bows and glitter and a white one for the office. And since Rick
and I did want a red Christmas plant for the house, I got an amaryllis. And when a red poinsettia did show up in my home, I put it on the front porch. I only have to look at it when I come home from work now. Maybe raccoons will take it. No luck there yet but hey, they may want to decorate for Christmas. Maybe? Probably not. Even the wildlife knows better than to touch that one with a 10 foot pole, it seems.

So yea, I’ve got issues but at least I’ve tried to deal with them – even if it led to more madness that I bargained for.  Cheeseburgers and a drive by wave. Hrmph. That’s a heck of a way to solve a problem but if it works …

And by the way, the reason Rick doesn’t have an issue with poinsettias is because his grandmother that died at Christmas liked carnations, so the people that sent flowers sent carnations to her funeral (they also accepted donations to the church in lieu of flowers). No poinsettias there, even though her funeral was on December 23. Well played, I say. 

That’s all today. I hope you’ve enjoyed my bizarre yet true tale of dealing with grief, myself, and the madness of life during the holiday season. 

Bye!


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    Escape Reality

    By day, I'm a program assistant. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction offers an escape from the reality of day-to-day life. See how my experiences lead to creating new worlds! 

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