Escape Reality
By SherritheWriter
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Loyalty?

5/14/2014

 
Today, I’d like to talk about the much acclaimed scene from the latest episode of Game of Throne, where Tyrion Lannister spoke in at his murder trial for King Joffrey. If you haven’t seen it, the video is below. I’m not here to discuss the excellent acting, through – I’m here to talk about the power of this scene, and how it applies to reality.

He saved the city from an attack at the end of Season 2. Not only did he never get credit for it, but now they want to execute him. How many of you  can relate to Tyrion? Not in the sense of being accused of murder (for the second time, and being set up, for the second time), but in the sense of you tried to help people, and they turned on you? You saved their skin, and all too soon the thanks was forgotten and  the minute it was convenient, they turned now you’re the bad guy. People don’t care where they lay blame, as long as it’s not on themselves. They’ll betray anybody. Here we see one of the most unflattering traits of humanity. Let them find someone that they believe serves their interests better, and they forget all you’ve done and cast you off. You can burn for all they care. They found something better.

It’s one thing human beings have in common with the devil. 

I know you don’t like that, but it’s absolutely true. People can be jackasses, plain and simple. Pride is the sin that led to the fall, and pride is the thing that keeps tripping us up, over and over. Memory is short for blessings and long on offenses. The Game of Thrones isn’t just fiction; it’s reality. People play the “world” game to win every day, and the players don’t care who they use, step on, or hurt in the process. “It’s not personal” is a favorite saying, but the truth is that it turns all too personal when somebody else turns the game on them. Whether it’s position, power, or money they play for, then you better know that you can count on no loyalty from them. Anything other than God’s will and purpose is the wrong answer. If they don’t abide by this, then people are nothing more than tools to them. Once they’re done with you, they’re done with you.

It’s no wonder so many people are walking around with two ton chips on their shoulder. Between playing the game and being played for the game, it can make you cynical. There are a lot of angry people in the world, and they tend to either build a wall to isolate themselves from being hurt, or they lash out and hurt you before you can hurt them.

Neither way is right. The right answer is the one Tyrion came up with: let God decide. Of course, in our case, the trial isn’t by physical combat. It’s spiritual combat. And in a way, that’s the harder route to take. Patience doesn’t come easy, especially when people are trying to make you a victim and break you with circumstances. But you have to remember one absolute truth that can never be denied, and it’s a truth that I’ve come to discover that most people either don’t know or don’t comprehend: when you curse others, you really curse yourself. Truth always makes itself known, and it’s usually at a time and place where it’s mighty inconvenient to those trying to hide it. The Bible calls it reaping and sowing in Galatians 6, but nobody had to tell me this. I opened my eyes, took a look around, and saw it for myself. Without fail, I see people that accuse others or put others in bad situations wind out accused and in bad situations themselves. It’s the only thing in life I’ve seen with a 100% hit rate. It’s enough to keep me straight, because life is hard enough without creating more drama or problems.

There are two points to this entry, and to what you can learn from this scene. First, people are fickle. Popularity doesn’t last, nor does praise or favor. It’s a poor foundation to lay yourself on, because it will fail you. Somebody else always comes along that people like better, so it’s best to roll with what is and not take it to heart (the good or the bad). The people in your inner circle aren’t perfect, but they have a way of proving themselves when it matters most, so look to that. True character shows when the crap hits the fan, not when you’re on top of the world. People that stand by you when everybody else turns are like diamonds – rare, precious, and worth holding on to because they stand and shine when everything else breaks under darkness. Second, anger isn’t the answer. Lashing out only makes you bitter, and people just call you a jerk and go on their merry way, and building walls only isolates you from things that could be great blessings that build you up to a greater purpose. Don’t let the devil win by giving in to his nature. Root yourself in what’s right and trust that truth will prevail, and the curses people are sowing on you will be brought under submission by an authority that can’t be bribed, cheated, or cajoled into wrong. No, it isn’t easy, but the right way rarely is. The ultimate authority is untouchable and can be trusted far more than any man on this earth, or the demons riding them around. You may or may not see your reward in this world, but it will come, and you have to be ok with taking things on credit sometimes.

The game of wordly success is never ultimately won. Somewhere, somehow, sometime, the price is always paid; and it’s usually catastrophic.

You may think I see too much into this, but remember: fiction does mirror reality, sometimes in uncomfortable ways. Think about it. Writer’s do this all the time. Where, exactly, do you think our stories come from?

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

A Question to Ponder

11/24/2013

 
When I was driving in to work on Friday, the radio announcer was talking about a post on social media that he sees every year around this time. The post is a simple question: What if the only things you had today were the things you were thankful for yesterday?

It's a daunting question, and one that's especially timely to think about now, as we enter the holiday season. The two words I hear way too much every year in November - December (and yes, it's already started) are "I want." People are very vocal about their desires, especially at this time of year. And it's ironic, because Thanksgiving is a holiday that's supposed to be about showing thanks for our blessings, and Christmas is supposed to be about giving thanks for our salvation. Supposed being the actual verb in those phrases, because if every conversation starts with "I want" or "I wish," then the focus isn't on being grateful for what you have. It's everywhere but where it's supposed to be. Our scramble to create "the perfect holiday" puts our focus on performance and off of prayer, meditation, and being grateful for the life we live every day.

Yes, I will agree that this is a season of celebration, and we're certainly entitled to enjoying it. But isn't it a mistake to limit that to a time of year, or conditions being met, or of getting what we want? Shouldn't we celebrate our blessings every day? The Bible says not to despise the day of small things, but I'll bet that when the end of it all rolls around, we'll discover that's where the true magic and joy of our lives were at. Yes, the big things matter greatly, but there's just as much joy in the small stuff. Some of my happiest memories are days spent at home with Rick and the birds, or lunch out with family and friends, conversations with co-workers on a slow afternoon, lunches out and dinners in, reading a book, or watching a movie or TV show I enjoy. If I limited my joy to big events and book releases, then I'd be binding myself indeed, and I don't want to do that. I want to enjoy life everyday, not just during certain times and seasons. 

I often hear people say they wish Christmas lasted all year, but perhaps it's Thanksgiving that should be a year-round, everyday event. And perhaps this Thanksgiving week is a great time to shift our paradigm and give some thought not to the "I want" list, but to the "thank God I have ..." list. Try it. You might find it's longer than you imagined. 

That's all today. I hope you have an excellent week. 

Bye! 

Thankfulness

11/3/2013

 
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I noticed that Facebook is having their annual "30 Days of Thankfulness" this month. That's a little sad. If you are truly grateful for your blessings, you shouldn't need a reminder to be grateful for them. You should thank God every day for them, and express that gratitude all the time. It's like Valentines Day - if you love someone, you should show it through all that you do. We should appreciate and value our relationships daily, not just one day a year.

I don't know. Maybe we just need the holiday to give ourselves a reason to take time out from day to day life to celebrate it in a big way. But unfortunately, I do believe there are too many people that need the holidays as reminders to not take what they have for granted.

Well, whatever works.

As for me, I know I've found a new appreciation for the blessings in my life after helping Rick through his illness these past few days. I have a life of abundance that's full of love,  blessings, and glory that the Lord has generously bestowed on me. My life is truly filled to overflowing, and although I give thanks for it each day, you are reminded of the small things that give light to your days through having the routine broken up. The ability to create and keep a happy home, offer my talents and abilities through fruitful work, share my inspiration through my writing, and grow in my faith with my church family are cornerstones of my life that I don't often appreciate enough until I have a shakeup like the last few days to interrupt them. I'm just so used to them being there all the time, but these past few days, I've had to take comfort in knowing that, although I couldn't be there or attend to them as I usually do, they would remain and welcome me back when things settled.

I'm happy to report that Rick is recovering. He seems to be through the worst of it and is getting his strength back. Ollie (our parakeet) is also healing - that anti-inflammatory shot the vet gave him Friday seems to be doing the trick to get him back to 100%, and I'm relieved to know his infection is healed. I'm also over my infection - it was rather a stubborn one, but it's gone now.

So I'll return to work tomorrow, grateful to be able to return to my labors. Splinter will be out any day now. I have a long weekend coming up, where I'll enjoy the annual Christmas Craftsman's Classic Craft Show with Mom on Friday, then a long weekend for Veteran's Day. What will we do? There are lots of choices. There's the gun show next weekend, and Thor - The Dark World also comes out. It looks like next weekend is going to be full of fun for me, which is just what I need! Life has been way too much problem solving and troubleshooting lately, and I pray that is passing and I'll be able to enjoy life again.

Sure, there's a lot to be thankful for, and sometimes the little things mean just as much as the big stuff does. I'm fortunate to have a wonderful husband, beautiful birds, and a great family nearby. I have a good home and job. I have amazing friends that are a joy to us. I've been blessed with many amazing things and seen a lot of beautiful places: The Grand Canyon, San Francisco, The Smoky Mountains, Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA, and Myrtle Beach, SC. I've had the excitement of publishing books and another one on the way soon. But for now, I'm just looking forward to the simple pleasures: to Rick and Ollie's continued healing, to handing out with Rick and the birds as often as we can, to watching Supernatural Tuesday and Arrow Wednesday, of getting back to my routine tomorrow, to finishing another read through of The Bible this week (I'm on the Book of Revelation and hope to finish it Thursday),  to the craft show with Mom on Friday, to having time with Rick next weekend to see a movie, or go to the gun show, or both, to getting back to church next Sunday ... just getting back to the simple joys of life.

That's all today. Take care, and have a good week.

Bye!

Paradigm Shifts

8/26/2013

 
On this, my 38th birthday, I find my self pondering the progress of the past year. I suppose this is a natural thing to do on a birthday. On first glance it could seem disappointing, as there are no "major" changes to report, but that's actually deceptive. There have been changes in the past year, but they've been more in the way of "shifts" instead of what could be clearly defined as "changed." I suppose this sounds somewhat elusive, so of course I'm going to explain.

The progress of the past year has actually been more in the way of building on things that have already been in motion. While it doesn't seem that much has changed - after all, life is progressing along very much the same today as it was a year ago - I can't say that I think about or feel the way that I did about life as I did one, two, or five years ago. In fact, as I ponder it, I notice that my paradigm has shifted quite a bit in the last 4 years. I suppose this is natural. My job changed and I finally broke into publication with my writing in 2010 - 2011, and while these things are "the norm" in my life right now, I see how incorporating those changes into my life has changed my view of life and the world. My basic morals haven't changed. That's not something that's likely to change. But the way you see the world around you and apply those morals can change, and I'm starting to see the evidence that it's happened. When you walk in faith long enough, you delve deeper into things, and that's certainly what's happened to me.

So how have I changed? For one, I'm seeing a whole new application of the concept of "reaping and sowing," as described in Galatians 6:7. You all know that this is one thing that my grandfather was a big believer in, and I took it to heart. But this verse applies to more than just relationships with other people and how you treat them - it also applies to progress and purpose in life. In fact, if you shift two more verses you'll read that "in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) After several years of hard work to re-establish myself professionally in my current workplace and to get my writing established, I see the value of patience in all that we do. If life really is a series of ups and downs, reaping and sowing, then that has big implications for all of life. If we choose to only allow ourselves to be happy on the mountaintop, when we're reaping the rewards of our labors, then we're guaranteed to be miserable (or at least, withholding our own happiness) at least 50% of our life. Folks, that just isn't acceptable to me. That's not going to do it. Sure, there are some people that enjoy being miserable and whining and complaining to get attention, but that's not the way I choose.

I know from experience that there are blessings in every day because I've been through the major life changes when I looked back and realized that there were little blessings that I took for granted, and I was sorry for it. An example: before my writing was published, I used to do counted cross stitching and wrote short stories. Much to my surprise, I find that I have very little time for that now, between promoting my published works and creating new ones. I love my writing and pray daily that it will continue to grow and reach more people - in fact, I'm prayerfully striving to make a break into science fiction with Splinter this fall - but there are some days when I miss having the time to cross stitch, or to goof off on Writing.com with short story contests. I didn't realize how much time these things filled in my life until my writing grew to the point where I had to make decisions about what stayed and what went. I still stitch occasionally, but large projects are out now. And as for short stories, they take me longer to write, prepare, and complete than they once did. And ditto for the work move. I was glad to make it and still believe it was the best, but I didn't realize the little things I took for granted, like talking to a couple of my friends when things got slow, the great walking paths on the State House grounds, a covered parking spot or those outstanding subs for a great price on Tuesdays and Fridays. Yes, I've gained a lot through both changes. I wouldn't undo either of them or the world because I gained a lot more than I lost. But I did learn to not despise the small things, and to appreciate the small blessings that go with each day as well as the big things we work so hard to cultivate and grow in our lives.

Some people say this means to "enjoy the journey on the way to where you go," but I think there's a deeper meaning than that. A devotion I read recently said, "God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to do what's right." That really hit me and helped me to get a grasp on my own paradigm shift. I used to think that the point was about being happy, and I actually worried for a little while, wondering if I'd ever be happy like I was before. I see now that I won't, because happy is a side effect. The purpose of life is not to serve our feelings, but to do what we're supposed to be doing and work hard to do what's right for our purpose in life. If you are faithful in well doing and obedient to the spirit, there's a contentment to your life that nothing - situations, circumstances, or other people and their attitudes (because that really reflects on them more than anything else, but that's a pondering for another entry) - can affect. You can rest in knowing that you're doing all you can, and that allows you to enjoy the blessings of every day, large or small. And contentment is better than happiness. It's more stable, because you can still see the blessing in what you have even if a thousand aggravations are bleeding out of them. It's built on a firmer foundation that gives you the patience to hold out for the "bigger picture" even if you don't understand what the point is (as is often the case). It's built on a trust between you and the Lord and nobody else can put their hands on it. And that can give you the courage to do what's right, even in the face of ridicule, opposition, or doubt. Happiness is transient and comes and goes with circumstances. Contentment is faith in action.

No, the earth hasn't moved in the last year. Things look much the same today as they do every other day. But I know they aren't. I see how the work at the everyday levels is building to something new and better. I might not know what yet, but when it is revealed then I'll reap a reward in due season, and be glad I didn't lose heart.

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

Ebbs, Downswings, and Deserts

8/2/2013

 
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We all go through those spells when it seems you can’t get anything going. I’ve heard them called many things. C.S. Lewis referred to it as “The Law of Undulation” in The Screwtape Letters. He describes it as the cyclical nature of live to swing between highs and lows, and the theory that we’re always somewhere on that arc. Sara Ban Breathnach refers to it as “The Ebb” in Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. She compares it to the ebb and flow of the ocean tide, and how life goes through seasons of great abundance followed by seasons of stagnation. I’ve heard many Christians refer to these times as “desert seasons,” comparing it to the Hebrew’s 40 years of wandering in the desert prior to coming into the Promised Land. Others call it “the darkness before the dawn.” Whatever you call it, you know how frustrating it can be when you work so hard, day in and day out, and see – nothing. 

They’re all right. There are times when life seems like a runaway train and times when you think you’ll have to get out and push this hunk of junk somewhere – anywhere! – except even that probably wouldn’t get you anywhere. It’s frustrating. It’s irritating. And it’s just as much a part of life as the rising and setting of the sun. 

Sure, we know that they’re actually periods of slow building to the next blessing on the way, but it’s tough to keep your motivation when all you get is “keep working” and no indication of how close you are to a breakthrough. It’s easy to get discouraged, angry, or frustrated. Many people give up, disillusioned by the deception that things will never change and falling into the trap of actually prolonging their suffering when relief would have been right around the corner had they not abandoned hope.  Because if you look at all the descriptions I listed above, you’ll notice they have one thing in common: they all point to a payoff in the end. However stagnant things might seem, remember that the nature of the universe is change. It’s impossible for things to stay the same forever. It just doesn’t happen. So naturally, if you hang in there and keep working hard, you’ll eventually see a breakthrough.  It brings truth to the encouragement in Galatians 6:9 which reminds us: “Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.” 

So how do you keep the hope in these seasons of stagnation? I’m in one of those seasons now, and I can say from experience that it’s tricky. You can post all the inspirational verses in the world all over your house, office and car, but that discouragement and frustration will still come. I fight it every day, in one way or another. Giving up isn’t an option, because I only need to look at my recent past to see that too much good is building up to abandon it. I’m determined to see it through. It’s a vicious cycle because I get frustrated with not seeing progress, and then I get frustrated with myself for losing patience and getting frustrated. That’s one thing about walking in faith – you know what’s right and true, and you get irritated with yourself when your humanity rises to the surface and causes you to get irritated with the challenges before you, knowing that you’re called to walk in patience and that you’re losing it. It’s a constant spiritual battle. I don't know that I'll ever be able to "embrace the ebb" as Breathnach suggests in her November 1st entry.

I think the secret to winning the battle and “fighting the good fight” is that you have to find things that speak peace to your soul. These are the days when the small things as Zechariah 4:10 tells us not to despise are building up to the big blessings of tomorrow. So I give thanks for the blessings I have, and I take advantage of every opportunity, no matter how small it may seem. It’s worked to get me this far, and I know that if I keep walking in this way then it will build up to the next flow in my life. Just today, I found encouragement in an email that Whiskey Creek Press has assigned an editor to Splinter. My first sci-fi novel is on it's way to becoming a reality.

And so, I keep doing my best at all that’s set before me. I do all I can to make things the best I can. I enjoy my husband, birds, home, family and friends. I keep my eyes open to opportunity and prayerfully consider everything before me. I'll work with the good folks at Whiskey Creek Press to make Splinter the best it can be and proudly deliver it to readers in November. I delight in the small things, from the first cup of coffee in the morning, to time writing, to watching a movie, or reading a book, or taking a walk during my lunch break, because if I’m doing all I can then I should enjoy breaks and blessings whenever I have a chance. And I go through each day the best I can, knowing that it will build up to the next blessing in due season. 

I often hear people say “God is never late, so be patient!” It’s a good thing He isn’t, and that our times are in His hands. Otherwise, we’d truly be in trouble, because our lack of foresight of the “big picture” would always have us rushing around after we know not what. 

Where there’s life, there’s hope – so if you woke up alive this morning, then keep the faith. His mercies are new every morning and you never know which one will bring the next flow in your life. 

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and I hope you have a great weekend. 

Bye!


Boom!

7/14/2013

 
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First, I shall deal with the pink elephant in the room - the George Zimmerman "not guilty" verdict. I have an opinion on it and, as with all opinions, 50% of you will agree and 50% will not agree. So here it is:

I believe there was reasonable doubt in the state's case, and the jury refused to allow the media, the State, and even the President tell them they didn't have a right to have that reasonable doubt. At the core, this case wasn't about race (although it was made to be a factor, and anybody that says it's wasn't is nuttier than Chinese chicken salad). It also wasn't about race, or about the right to have a CWP and use it (although that, too, was a forced factor). Zimmerman never denied killing Martin. The question was whether Zimmerman was justified in using the force he used in that fight. The jury spent over 16 grueling hours debating it, and in the end they just couldn't determine without any question or doubt that Zimmerman wasn't under threat of great bodily harm.

I'll go on to say this: I work in administrative law with my job in professional licensing, and for all of you that say "but the law is the law!" you're right, and you're wrong. The law IS the law, BUT it's also open to interpretation given the evidence and facts presented. It's extremely difficult to ferret out what it means in each given situation, and for a layperson that doesn't work in matters of the law every day, that's a hard thing do to. Law isn't written in plain English, and "legalese" isn't easy to discern. Those poor juries need somebody in the room with them to interpret what the actual consequences they ponder are, and they don't have it. They're left to sort it out on their own in that room, and to come out with a decision that's going to affect one or many lives. It's no easy task. Remember that a jury of your peers isn't lawyers or experts on law. They're regular people with jobs and lives that said "oh crap" when that summons arrived in the mail, because they knew they were being plunged into a world they know nothing about. They're intimidated by all that's thrown at them and being told to make decisions that will affect other peoples' lives forever after they walk out of that room and go back to their lives. 

To Zimmerman and the jury, I say this: be quiet. Don't talk. People will want your story and it will be tempting to tell it, but given the highly emotional nature of this case, just stay out of it. Keep you head low.

To the media, I say this: smack. It's about time somebody punched you in the face and told you that you don't have a right to make public policy. You got our President elected twice and have forced how much more down our throats by controlling the indecisive. As one that thinks for herself, I'm glad to see you with this black eye. You too need to shut up and go back to being impartial and reporting it "as it is," like you are supposed to do.

Oh, but the fallout. There will be fallout and this is the part I dread. And, if it's anything like the O.J. Simpson case, it will go on for some time. Lord help us all. This particular case is over (no doubt, civil cases will be brought forward now), but the rest of the story is just beginning. God help us all.

Personally, I've really had too much else going on to pay much attention to this case. You know of all the transition at work that's been rocking our world. Well, two of my colleagues are having some health issues, and now we're just praying that we get through this. Honestly, what can we do? We go in each day and do what we can to keep this machine rolling along the bumpy road we're on, hoping and praying that we'll find smoother paths ahead. I have no doubt we will, but it's getting through that's tough.

And you'd think the weekends would be relief, but not this time. Came home from running errands yesterday and there was a dead cat in the road in front of our house. It was Mom's cat, Little Bit. She "adopted" one of the feral cats about a year ago and named him that because he was the runt of the litter, but he grew into a big cat. That cat never really liked me and of course, he got hit in front of my house. So naturally, she's quite upset. Losing a pet is always tough. I helped Dad and Stephen (my brother) bury it. I don't know when it happened. I put our Netflix in the mailbox at 10:30 and didn't see him. We didn't hear anything, but we're pretty far back from the road so we probably wouldn't.

Add to that, our Internet is still spotty at times and they have to come back to "tweak" something with our router. Got an email yesterday that they're coming today, so there went going to church since their "zone" overlaps with that. I really needed church today. Rick's ear and sinuses are bothering him (no doubt, allergy problems from all of this rain, which is causing mold), my acid reflux is giving me fits (no doubt, it's the stress), and we can't get it together. Thank God for getting us through each day, but the aggravations keep mounting. Oh, I've seen worse. I won't call this a "year of hell," but it hasn't been unicorns and rainbows either. I just pray we survive the challenges and make it through.

And we will. I'm down, but not out. This isn't by far the worse I've seen. If I put in into perspective, I'd call this growing pains into what I'm sure is the road to better days and more stability ahead. I'm not broken, not by a long shot. I'm going to hand in there. The Lord's mercies are new every morning and that's what keeps me going, knowing that a better day could be just around the corner. I haven't come this far to be defeated, and I won't give up.

So I'm going to log off. I'm going to make breakfast. I'm going to go to the grocery store, start revisions on Incursion, take care of my home and birds, get on the treadmill, and maybe cross stitch. Tomorrow, I'll work on revisions to Incursion while the termite inspector gives us another 5 year treatment and will go to work when it's done and do what I can. And each day after, I'll take them one at a time, just like this. Maybe if I do that, each day will suck a little less until eventually, finally, we're at better days. Because I fully believe we are on the path to better days. The bumpier the transition, the better the prize. That's my hope. I know the good stuff is coming, if we keep the faith and don't lose heart on the path to get there.

That all, folks. Take care, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and have a good start to the new week.

Bye!

The Shapeshifter Amongst Us

6/15/2013

 
In my last entry, I made the comment that it's impossible to know what the modern workplace is like because of the tremendous power of change. I'd like to expand on this comment in this entry, and muse over how this trend has the potential to leak out of the workplace and into other areas of life now.

It started with technology. Computers revolutionized the workplace, and there's no denying that it made drastic improvements. Frankly, I can't imagine how people of previous generations ran an effective office with things as archaic as file cabinets and typewriters. They managed, but now we're moving at the speed of light, at least in offices. I remember a colleague once saying "remember when we sent out notification letters? It would take a week or more for people to reply to them now. Now it's notification emails and thanks to smartphones, our own phones blow up within seconds of hitting "send." It's true. Things move faster now, and they have more ways in than ever. Is it a good thing? All in all, probably so. Things get done faster and have the potential to get done more efficiently. But notice the adjective that's more active than the actual verb in that sentence: potential. Because efficiency depends largely on effective and (most importantly) wise implementation. And this requires having people that make sound decisions and are willing to learn and grow with the changes this improvement brings.

Yes, technology is ever changing, and it requires people in the workforce to keep changing with it. Nothing stays the same, and now we're morphing with the speed of development. You always have to be willing to grow and learn, to embrace new things and let go of old things that might be comforting, but are no longer effective. The good new is that this change, when done with pure motives and right intentions, is the path to progress. You learn, you grow, and hopefully you take those lessons into your personal life and see what you gained continue to bless your life.

Ah, but there's another side to this, and here's the catch. This is where the shapeshifter comes into play, because the constant change in the workplace started with technology, but it oozed it's hand into other aspects of the workplace as well. Changes in how things are done require changes in management, changes in staff, changes in operations. It doesn't stop with the machines. Integrating the machines changes the people, and the way people operate. It means that we must not only adapt to how the machines help us to do our work better, but we also must embrace how the machines change the human element of the workplace. And this, folks, is where we run into issues, because machines don't have a mind and will of their own, but people do, and they aren't afraid to use it. For better or for worse, and sadly, the tendency to react rather than reflect and act in faith means that this element is subject to lots of rash decisions and acts that aren't always conductive to progress.

I've come to realize that there are two kinds of change. The first kind is the progressive kind that I discussed above. An opportunity opens and it's given thoughtful deliberation and consideration. People take advantage of that opportunity and more opportunities arise from it. Yes, it's hard and it requires change, learning new things, and forging into new areas, but the hard work is worth it and beyond the growning pains come progress that lead to a "golden age" of productivity and success. This is the kind of change we should always embrace, and that we shouldn't fear. Yes, it takes hard work to do new things, but the work of laying that solid foundation pays off when you build something that's stronger and better for a new day. Often, the things you learn from these "hard seasons of growth" can be implemented into other areas of life which spurs more growth and more blessing. It can have a chain reaction. One example of this: My office move 3 years ago gave me the courage and strength to start the process of becoming an independent author. The trials I went through getting those programs moved opened my eyes to every area of life, and I realized that I had spent a lot of years submitting my writing to traditional publishers in a sinking economy that had bolted their doors closed to new authors and weren't listening. "If they stop listening, stop talking," someone advised me around that time (of a different situation, but ...) and one day I stumbled upon a CNN article about how ebooks were outselling hardbacks and the light went off. I dug in to edit and revamp my approach, submitted to epublishers and mixed in some self publishing, and now 3 years and 7 books later, I finally have the foundation laid that I was waiting for someone else to do for far too long. I lost my fear of taking chances, I found the courage to make bold moves of faith on my own, and I finally got the ball rolling on the progress I had prayed for. That success gave me the courage to stand firm, to learn what I needed to learn, and to work with others to make the move successful, and it was. Progressive change at work had a 2 for 1 special in my life: the work move was successful despite setbacks and challenges along the way, and I got established as an independent author.

Ah, but there's another kind of change, and sadly I see it in my life now. It's change born of fear, and this is almost always detrimental. Sadly, progressive change usually gives way to this. Things move along well and people are happy with how it's going, but then something happens that changes some element that everybody was comfortable with. Usually, it has to do with setbacks, challenges, changes in leadership, or an unexpected loss of some sort. People get scared and react. Instead of asking "okay, what can we do to stabilize the situation and are there any opportunities from this, no matter how small, that we can seize and use to rebuild?" they ask "how do we protect ourselves." The motives shift from purity (doing better) to selfish (save me!), and that's the road to destruction. Change is not about progress, but about re-establishing control, protecting the "status quo," and preventing more damage. This is where you run into trouble, because damage control is never productive and that's looking at the situation from the wrong end. I think we all remember Yoda's logic in Star Wars Episode 1 - "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side." That's not fiction; it's face. People get scared and they react. Then they get mad because things aren't working out. Then the anger replaces all semblance of reason, and it becomes a battle. As Loki so eloquently put it in The Avengers, freedom leads to a mad scramble of power. Yep, he had a grain of truth there too. It's scary.

Take it from one that's seeing it unfold. There are changes afoot in an area of my life now, and I find myself surrounded by a lot of fear. It's disturbing. I find myself pondering a lot of things, but foremost amongst them is protecting the progress I've worked so hard to achieve over the past few years. An emerging culture of fear could well do that, at least in this one area, and that means that a fight is on. It might already be on, because these spiritual things are a whole different battlefield. That's one song I do not want to sing another verse of in my life. I pray over it a lot, because I don't want to become another soldier of fear. I'm determined to stand firm and to protect the progress I've made. Fear is the devil's best tool, and by the power of Christ I will stand. I pray such courage will spread to others as well. That's a good infection that we desperately need.

Change will happen, and it can be tough to discern whether you're seeing the progressive or the destructive kind. All change is scary because it usually means challenges, hard work, sacrifice, and learning. Growth is hard because it stretches us to new places, but in the end it's good. And destruction also hurts because, well, it's supposed to hurt. There's nothing good about it and being torn down is a catalyst to find some courage and fight against whatever is trying to undo the progress you've done. In the end, you have to keep your head about you and discern the motives for the change. Pray, meditate, dig deep, ask questions, ponder the situation, and find out if the motive is pure. If it is, then you're being called upon to grow and it's a challenge and an opportunity to accept. If it's born of fear, sharpen your sword and get ready to fight because it's on like Donkey Kong, and you better be ready to stand firm or you'll get smashed by barrels of defeat.

And with that dated and somewhat lame analogy, I will call the point made and the entry done. I hope you have a great weekend and that all of you dad's out there have a Happy Father's Day tomorrow.

Bye!

Big Week!

5/17/2013

 
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Hi all, I hope you've had a good week. It's been quite a week for me - but a good one! So far this week, I've celebrated an anniversary, finished a draft of a writing project, and had my brain blown three times. Here's a rundown of the week:

1. Rick and I celebrated our 15th anniversary yesterday! Yep, that's a picture of us on the big day. It's hard to believe it's been that long, or that we're old enough to have been married that long! But we have, and we've come a long way even if we don't have kids. We've built a home, built careers, are building our personal endeavors (his website design and my writing), have our 3 birds, and are lucky that both of our families are still alive and nearby. It's been a great journey and we look forward to many more years. And as part of celebrating our anniversary ...

2. We saw Star Trek Into Darkness today. Wow. Completely unbelievable and definitely outdid the last movie. A must see. At the risk of being lambasted, I'll be bold enough to say it's better than Iron Man 3. I completely trust J.J. Abrams with Star Wars now. Mine = blow. I don't want to give anything away, but I'll give you this advice if you haven't seen it yet: see Star Trek II - The Wrath of Kahn if you haven't recently. Yea, there are "references." It's amazing how they can change the history of that franchise the way they did and things are the same, and yet not. It was beyond phenomenal. Go see it. On the big screen. Now.

3. I ask for your prayers. An opportunity has opened up to me, and I ask that you pray for the Lord to give me favor in achieving it. It would be a tremendous blessing for me and Rick. I can't say too much about it now, but if it works out then you'll hear all about it. It may be a while before we know, but hey, we can use all the prayer power we can get!

4. Time for my season finale roundup! The season finales of Arrow and Supernatural ran Wednesday night and again, mind = blow. They were amazing. Here's a short recap of my impression of each season:

Arrow - If you aren't watching this show, you should be. They hit the ground running and never let up. No dull character development episodes in this season - it's all action, and the combat scenes are amazing. Then again, Oliver Queen better be able to throw it down, because it takes a lot of guts to go against people with guns (especially one with the nickname "Deadshot") with a bow and arrow - yet he does, and holds his own impressively. For all of you that thought The Green Arrow was a "minor" DC Character, I can assure you that he can hold his own and proves it well through this series. The finale was no exception, and in fact had it's share of surprises that shouldn't have been surprises, but they signs that these "red herrings" were planted were very subtle. Kudos to the writers, producers, cast, crew, and everybody involved for making this a "must see" show in my home and many others every week. I'll even go so far as to say that I like Arrow better than I liked Smallville. Yea, it's that good.  

Supernatural - I was glad to see the Winchesters get back to angels and demons this season. That whole thing with the leviathans and monsters just - wasn't as good. They're okay in bits and pieces throughout the season, but I didn't care for it as a central focus. Thankfully, they got back to basics this season and it was good to see. They definitely upped the ante with the demon tablet and the whole "closing the gates of hell" theme. Then an angel tablet pops up and that adds a dimension that has this show back to what it's meant to be. I did miss Bobby this season, but I think they forged on in his absence quite well, all things considered (and I thought Garth taking Bobby's place was weirdly appropriate. I wish we had seen more of that. He's goofy, but I think his character is a good balance to Sam and Dean's kicking a** and taking names approach - I mean, somebody needs to take the brainiac approach to the whole demon hunting thing, right? Anyway, well done and glad to see them getting back to basics, although that cliffhanger - wow! OMG. What a mess. Can't wait to see how they get out of THIS one.

So now it's all about summer reruns. Good for folks that need to for catching up. And I guess I have plenty to keep me busy because ...

5. I finished the rough draft of Incursion, my sci-fi novella-in-progress, Monday night. No joke, folks, I wrote 12 chapters plus a prologue and epilogue in 13 days. I accomplished this feat because I kept waking up in the middle of the night with ideas for it, and this progressed into insomnia. Yea, the fun of being a writer, especially one with a full time job. I wrote on lunch hours. I wrote at night. I wrote on weekends. And I got the draft done in record time because I do need to sleep occasionally. So this summer's project will be getting that novella shaped up and ready to self publish, hopefully this fall. I'll keep you updated on the progress.

6. We managed to get our satellite bill down and upgraded our Internet speed. Because we realized that we're online much more than we are behind the boob tube, so to speak, and how we spend our $$$ needs to reflect that.

7. I don't know now many of you are familiar with Disco the Parakeet, but he was on the Take Two segment on The Today Show this morning at 9 a.m. Go Disco! Bird to your mother! What an awesome keet. He's the same age as Ollie and we love him here. Look up Miss Jumpin Jude on You Tube for his videos. You'll love it. He's one great avian talent!

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8. And finally, we're gearing up for a birthday here. Chloe's birthday will be Monday, May 20th! Actually, we celebrate it then because that's the date we "adopted" her (or as our bird friends like to say on Twitter, it's her "Gotcha Day"). She's 10, but it'll be three years since we adopted her. What a sweet little hen! We love you, Chloe! Hen power!

So it's been a busy week, but all in a good way. I'll take it. I hope you've had a great week as well. Happy Friday to you, and I hope you have a great weekend.

Bye!

Obscure Holidays

5/10/2013

 
I'm off work today for Confederate Memorial Day. Believe me, we got plenty of flack when they started giving us that day off as a holiday. It was actually part of the compromise for removing the Confederate Flag from the State House dome. As part of the deal, the flag was moved, and Martin Luther King, Jr., day and Confederate Memorial Day were added as official State Holidays (but I think State Employees are the only ones that actually close their offices on this day).

I know it's obscure, but before you start squawking tell me: Would you refuse a day off? I won't. Not even on principle. Plus, honestly, I think they're required to give us so many holidays a year and I think we just ran out of the major ones, so we had to move on to secondary ones to get the extra day in.

Well, a day off's a day off, and I plan to enjoy it. It gives me a chance to get some little things done that usually sit until they pile up to the point where I have to make time for them. That's good. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that efficient time management is a must for a busy lifestyle.

That's a good point to ponder on this extra day off. Somebody asked me recently how on earth I find time to write with a full time job. The short answer is efficient time management. I'm lucky that I was taught that in college, and it's one of the skills I've found most useful in my life. It isn't always easy, but the truth is that we make time for things that are important to us, whether we realize it or not. Writing nights and weekends is the obvious answer, but I have to admit that I make a fair amount of progress by taking my laptop to work and writing on lunch breaks too. It's only an hour, but if I do that two times a week then it's the equivalent to another weeknight of work. And another secret is that I don't watch much TV.  I watch 3 shows during the fall season (Arrow, Supernatural, and The Americans - all come on the same night, so I can "block out" Wednesday nights for that), and 1 show during the summer (Breaking Bad). I look up news and weather online so I don't have to watch it on TV. And yes, occasionally I do forego recreation to get writing done. I've passed on watching football games, lunches out, and shopping or "hanging out" on days off like today to write. And I have to humbly admit that I even write on sick days, if possible. One reason I made good progress on my novella this week was because I was sick with a virus Monday, but I drug myself out of bed and wrote a chapter anyway.  It isn't always easy, but with some planning you can make time for things.

I tell you, a busy life is a blessing. It's a life of abundance, but you have to manage it wisely to experience and enjoy it to the fullest.

Speaking of the novella, it has a name now - Incursion. It looks like it going to be 10 chapters with a prologue and epilogue. I know the pros recommend against prologues and epilogues, but I like it and that's my style. If people like the piece then they'll read it. Plus, I endeavor to keep them short. To me, they're the bookends of the story and I'm not going to abandon them just because it isn't popular. Platform shoes went out of style after the 70's, but darn if I don't see women wearing those atrocities again all the time. So there. Style is a poor reason to change something that works for you. Or to do something that doesn't work.

Anyway, I've written 5 chapters so far, which is excellent progress. More than I expected at this point, really. But alas, I did push myself to make this progress and my wrists are achey, so once I complete this entry then I do plan to take a break from the keyboard for the rest of today and tomorrow. You have to balance the planning and time management with common sense, and I won't make any progress at all if I push it too far with my wrist. So given my good progress this week, I'm using today to spend time with other people and things that I wish to nurture in  my life. Like hanging out with the birds, tending my roses, and having lunch with Mom. A day off is a rare gift, and I want to enjoy it to the fullest.

That's all today. I hope you have a Happy Friday and that the mom's out there have a good Mother's Day.

Bye!

Let it Be (or Mind Your Own Business!)

1/4/2013

 
As we head into a new year, I ponder my resolution to have better balance in my life on a number of levels. One of those (very important) levels is in the area of stress reduction and reducing worry in my life. I think these are things we all struggle with, and recently I've come to realize there's a great deal that we impose on ourselves, especially when it comes to our relationships.

This realization came after having several people tell me things that other people said and/or did over the past few weeks and asked what I thought of it. I remembered that when I was under a therapist while going through my life changes a few years ago, one of the things she told me was that the secret to finding balance was realizing what was and wasn't my business. "You concern yourself with your responsibilities and what you control and let go of the things in the hands of others," she said. That's certainly true, and in fact remembering this advice upon being asked my opinion on these various situations and issues made me realize that people, in general, bring on a lot of their own stress by worrying about or fretting over things that other people think, say or do - things they have absolutely no control over.

Why do we do this? My first reaction was that it's arrogance. Frankly, we all have a tendency to beleive that everything is all about us - and that's wrong. The truth is that everything people think, say and do is all about THEM. It's a reflection of how they see the world. Even if they say that "others made me do it," the truth is that they made the decision on how to perceive things and on how to proceed. Nobody "makes" anybody do anything. Plus, by nature, people are going to do what's best for them and the ones closest to them. Why should they do something that benefits you 100% and them none at all when you aren't the center of THEIR world?

So there's one reason, but I don't think that's all of it, nor the major portion. In fact, I think if that were the whole reason, then it would mean that people in general are extremely selfish and short sighted, and I don't believe that such a narrow view applies to most people most of the time. Some maybe, but absolutely not all. Maybe not most. And remember, I said there's some truth to this. Maybe it's a small part, but I don't think that's a "once size fits all" explanation for it. Most people learn, grow, and gain a wider perspective on the world and as such, they aren't so shallow.

I believe another reason is that we want everybody to like us. The problem is, I recently read that there was actually some scientific study that at least 10% of people aren't going to like you. Frankly, I was surprised the percentage was that low. I thought it would be closer to 30%, but the latest study I read said 10% so we'll run with that. Why is this? Plain and simple, personality differences. Some types just don't play well together. If you don't believe it, ask any extremely emotional person I've come in contact with and they'll tell you I'm mean and don't give a crap about their feelings. I am, by nature, a person that leans more toward logic and reason in making decisions than emotion. I usually don't get along well with extremely emotional types that "just want peace" and "want everybody happy right now" because I beleive happiness comes from investing the time and hard work to do things right no matter how you feel about it "right now." If you do what's right, then it will work out in the end, and that's a happiness that last; not a vapor of high emotion that wears off when the party is over and the consequences have to be paid. In fact, since I've been working in professional licensing, I'd say my tendency to make decisions based on logic and reason have become a stronger  because by nature of my profession, I'm obligated to do what's right no matter how people feel about it. I don't think that's a bad thing (of course), but I've caught some flack about it because I'm female, and by stereotype I'm supposed to be all about feelings. While I'm ok to say "alright, forget the 10% and thank God for and enjoy the other 90%, well, some people get awfully fixated on that 10% and believe that if they work harder then they can get a 100% approval rating. It seems their effort would be better spent nurturing relationships with the other 90% but in fact, sometimes they turn on the ones on their side to gain approval they'll never have, counting on forgiveness from that 90% that might come, but not realizing that it will have a higher price than they bargained for because broken trust is a very hard thing to rebuild. But it happens, all the time. I've experienced it; I've seen it; I've written about it. Hey, I'm a writer. The ugly underside of humanity is a playground of inspiration. Expose it to me at your own risk.

Just kidding - maybe. And a sidenote on the emotion thing: I'm interested to see if the stereotype of "hysterical emotion" in  women downplays as more generations of women have careers.Working women don't have time to fret over every little wayward comment, rolled eye, questionable social media post, tear or tirade that comes their way. Or at least, me and my colleagues don't. But we'll see as time tells this particular tale.

So there's that. But not all people are emotional and out for approval ratings that would make politicians jealous, so reason #2 can't apply to everybody. But it does apply to enough that I believe it should be considered.

There is one more reason, and I think it applies to most of us. I believe the reason people get tied up in what others think, say and do is because they don't want to be alone in how they think or feel. They want to know that others agree with them. They want others to have an opinion with them, or to get mad with them, or to be sad with them, or to take up the cause with them because they don't want to be the only freak swimming against the tide. They want to know they're like everybody else and what the other person is doing is wild/selfish/stupid/crazy/nonsense/whatever. They don't want to be alone in their opinion or feelings because they don't want to look in the mirror and ask "is it them, or is it me?" We all want to be right. We all want the world to understand that our opinion is just as important as everybody elses'. We all want respect. Nobody wants to be a nobody. They want people to know that they're here, that they have value, and that they are just as important as the other 7+ billion people in the world.

Here's the thing, though: Going about it by getting tangled up in other peoples' business is a sign of insecurity. If you truly walk in faith and you're confident in yourself as the authentic human being you were created to be, then you don't need to beg or scream for attention. You humbly go about your own business, believing that the life God set before and the purposes you serve speak for themselves. 

That's the cure.
That's how you break free from this stress. You get busy living your own life and tending to your own businss and have the grace to accept others and the decisions they make without intruding into their lives with your opinions.

Does this mean you ignore others and don't care what they do? Of course not. You should always do your best to help people in need and if there's something you can do to help others on their life path, you certainly should. The key is to use common sense and discernment. Yes, we all have opinions on things, but we don't need to share them all the time. Everything that flies through your head doesn't need to fly out of your mouth. If you aren't asked for your opinion or advice, assume it's not wanted or needed and keep it to yourself. I'd even go so far as to say that you should still use caution in giving advice even if you ARE asked for it. As one of the elves said in The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring, "elves don't give advice because all paths may run ill." Think before you speak. If in doubt, don't. And realize that advice is a take it or leave it thing - and in many cases, people leave it, so be prepared to have your advice or opinion rejected just in case and be prepared to not get offended. And please, for the love of God, if it won't make any difference and you have a thought - don't. Stop right there and go no further. If it's done and/or there's no way it's changing no matter what anybody says and you really need to get it out, set up a private blog or buy a journal to work it out, but don't go off on tirades and complain to everybody in the world about things you can't control involving people close to you. And don't ask or expect people to take sides with you unless you want to do the equivalent of renting a billboard that says I'M THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. It makes you look bad and it makes other people run like hell from you when they see you coming. If it's something so big that you can't live with it, find a way to either deal with it or distance yourself from the situation. Just because a war's going on doesn't mean you have to be a soldier in it. Other people might want you to have their problems, but they can't draft you. You don't have to accept them and if you choose not to accept their problems, well then, it's over.

The point of this mile long blog is that I'm coming to understand that balance is something that we have to strive for in every area of life, and personal relationships are certainly a big element there. We do live in the world, with people, so having good, balanced relationships is an extremely important thing. And one way we can achieve balance in our relationships is by not being a busybody, minding our own business, and having the grace to let it be.

Thanks for hanging in there with me on this one. I hope you had a Happy Friday and that you have a great weekend.

Bye!
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    Escape Reality

    By day, I'm a program assistant. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction offers an escape from the reality of day-to-day life. See how my experiences lead to creating new worlds! 

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