Category: Bible

Shatterpoint Chapter 1 - Your New BFF

7/19/2014

How are you supposed to develop a personal relationship with the Lord? People tell you this is the number one thing believers need to do, but they never address the elephant in the room of how you relate to a deity. Human relationships are complex enough with the people right in front of you. They take tremendous effort to establish and maintain, and the closer the relationship, the more work it is. And now you’re supposed to make your highest priority relationship with your Maker? To somebody new to this concept, it sounds like being set up for failure. Heck, as a lifelong Christian, it was a challenge to me in adulthood. It took a while for me to wrap my head around the whole thing, and to find a way that worked for me.

People tell you that the key to establishing this relationship is to read The Bible and pray, but they don’t say how this magic is supposed to turn into a relationship. I think it’s because of two things: they oversimplify the concept, and they forget one rather significant aspect to building this relationship that there’s no “how to” instructions on doing. It’s really not rocket science, but it’s not easy either. My hope is to take it step by step to give you guidance on developing your own process on doing what seems to be undoable.

Read the Bible

This is really the only way to know the Lord, because it’s the only official reference guide that exists. The secret is to find a translation that works for you and to do daily readings. I know there are people that say the King James Version is the only “real” version. That’s hogwash. What good is it if you don’t understand what you’re reading, and what twenty-first century person can really understand that archaic language? I prefer the New Revised Version (NRV). It’s what my church uses, and it’s in plain, modern English, easy to understand. Get a version with footnotes to explain the things that are awkwardly translated, and you have a winner.

As for the time investment, about fifteen minutes a day can get you through the entire Bible in a year. I say “about” because that’s the maximum time investment they’re designed to have for daily readings. I have two Bibles with daily reading plans of this nature, and some daily readings are as little as five minutes (especially in the Psalms). There are many Bible reading plans available, but this is the one that works for me.

Bibles aren’t hard to find. You can read them online, and even sign up for daily readings to deliver to your email box every day. You can download free apps to your phone. And if you’re one of those “I prefer to hold a book in my hand” types, there are countless versions available, from $5 specials at discount stores to fancy large, leather-bound, monogrammed versions that you order at Christian bookstores.

I recently heard on BBN (Bible Broadcasting Network) that The Bible is the most sold and least read book in the world. There’s no excuse for that. With widespread availability, modern translations, and reading plans that can have you through a daily reading while you drink your morning coffee, everybody can find a way to fit it into daily living. It’s not that big of an investment, but it’s one that helps you build the foundation of an eternal relationship.

Prayer

Certainly you should life up your concerns in prayer, but most people forget that it’s supposed to be a two way communication. How can God speak to you if you’re always talking? Every now and then, you have to quiet yourself and be open to the answers you seek and the insight you need.

God speaks to people in different ways – through thoughts and ideas, insights, music, nature, art, reading, things other people say, or even through mysterious circumstances. It really depends on what speaks to you and how He can reach you. I’ll cover more on uncovering your authentic self in the next chapter.

Many people talk about meditation, and I do believe there’s merit in taking time to withdraw from everything to be quiet and open to inspiration. It’s imperative to me to have at least a few minutes to myself every day; otherwise I get rather cranky because I haven’t had time to “center” and get myself “set” to deal with life and the world. Meditation doesn’t have to take long periods of time and in fact, I grab mine a piece at a time throughout the day: getting dressed in the morning, driving home from work, doing housework, taking a shower, and even taking a few quiet minutes before going to bed. Even five minutes of silence can work wonders for the soul. It can even be helpful to withdraw from the chaos if you find yourself overwhelmed. One frequent practice I’ve always had is to take short breaks for a walk during the workday. I call this my “purge the brain” time, and it’s ten minutes to walk outside and take in what’s happening in the rest of the world: the sky, the trees, the animals rushing around, the sunshine (or clouds), the feel of the air – just reminders that the world is still out there and turning just fine, despite whatever chaos is happening “in there.” God is referred to as “the still, small voice,” so the only way to hear is to turn off the distractions and open yourself to receiving. It’s like a radio: you can’t hear the music unless you turn it on. Well, this is the converse: to hear from God, you have to turn the world off.

Lifting up your requests, cares, and concerns is certainly a wonderful way to connect with God. Just be sure that He has a chance to speak back every now and then. Finding that time could be as easy as putting down the phone or shutting off the television or radio for a few minutes. You’d be amazed at the peace and inspiration you discover from the briefest retreat from the chaos of life.

Intuition – It’s Not New Age Mumbo-Jumbo

Intuition is often misunderstood as some sixth sense or mystical connection with the world, and for that reason it’s often not respected or used correctly. Some people grant it too much power, relying on it as magic. Others shun it as sorcery because Christians aren’t supposed to deal with that stuff. And neither side realizes it for what it really is: the Holy Spirit working in and through us.

The Holy Spirit is probably the most misunderstood of the Holy Trinity, because we just don’t get it. It’s a purely abstract manifestation of the Lord working in us, and for that reason we usually don’t know what to do with it. All we know is that the mind is sacred territory, and we don’t want anything in there controlling us. Our thoughts are the one thing that only we are privy too, and to find out that something else has access to the most private part of ourselves is uncomfortable.

There’s really no need for this. If you read The Bible, you know that the purpose of the Holy Spirit is to be a “helper” to us. That means it’s a non-intrusive guide that heightens your senses so you can act with wisdom, discretion, and discernment. Think about people you know that often ignore their intuition – what usually happens to them? They don’t use it, so they lose it. Eventually, it never speaks to them at all, and then they’re groping around, dependent on their own senses to navigate a complicated world. It’s like shutting off the GPS in a strange city. Maybe they’ll stumble upon the best thing; most of the time they don’t. It’s potluck. And that’s a heck of a way to live.

If you see intuition as God working in you, then there’s nothing to fear. In fact, it’s a great comfort to know we have a direct line to our Maker that can help us see what’s unseen and guide us on the best path. It’s better than a NOAA Weather Radio – it’s always broadcasting, it always tells you what’s coming up, and when it’s about to get nasty, an alert goes off so you can prepare. Jesus gave us a great gift when He sent the Holy Spirit to help His believers. It’s tremendously valuable once we know and use it correctly.

On the surface, it can seem like a one sided endeavor. After all, God made you and knows you better than you know yourself, but we do have a choice and sometimes, we unintentionally shut him out. Building a relationship reduces this risk and keeps us open to His will for us, not only in life but in each and every day. One of my daily prayers is for the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me through the day and whatever may come.

Building a personal relationship with the Lord doesn’t make you weird or wacky. In fact, I think it gives you the confidence to be the best you that you can be. It unlocks your personality and allows you the insight to find the best ways to invest yourself, your mind, and your talents in things that will build a better life, both today and in the future.

Think of this as building an antenna or constructing a satellite that will give you better reception. The more you try, the more you hear. Certainly it takes time and effort, just like all relationships, but its well worth it. Be patient, give it your best effort, and you may be surprised to find that talking and listening to the Lord becomes as natural to you as all the other things you do in your daily routine.

Bad Advice

3/18/2014

I read an article in Psychology Today about more evolved ways to convince people to see things your way. It said that when we’re young, people usually convince through unabashed flattery, but this trick usually doesn’t work on those in their 30’s and older because they’re smart enough to see through it. The article had tips on “sneaky” ways to persuade people that aren’t so obvious.

That article inspired me to put the magazine right back on the rack and not buy it. (It also reminded me why I quit reading magazines in the first place – because they’re full of crap!) I couldn’t believe that a magazine touting itself for being up on the latest advancements in the mental health field missed it so badly on this issue. Why? Here again, we have another case where The Bible had the right answer centuries before modern science came up with the wrong one. And it’s such a simple answer that it’s pathetic.

You act like a civilized human being.

That’s it. Use wisdom and discernment in all your dealings, and it’s all a whole lot easier. You don’t have to wonder how to “get through.” You don’t have to wonder what will sweeten them up to you. If you have enough humility to realize that people aren’t going to always agree with you and enough wisdom to respect that, then you find working with others a lot easier. They may even be willing to help you out in other ways, even if they can’t or won’t deliver exactly what you want. And even if you lose, you usually find ways to work things out through that ugly word called compromise. You have to respect others as unique human beings with thoughts and feelings as valid as your own.

It amazes me, because people are usually looking for the easy way out of things, and yet on this they choose to struggle needlessly because of pride. I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to act like they give a crap. I don’t understand how playing games is easier to some than being genuine and building good, honest relationships based on mutual trust. I don’t know why it’s a stretch to try to care about what matters to others. One recent experience that drove this home was how people treated me and Rick when Ollie died a few weeks ago. People were very kind and compassionate – for 10 days. Yep, in a little over a week, people went right back to being themselves and pulling the same old stunts. Sad, but not shocking. A lot of things could be so much better if that were the norm instead of the mask.

I’m aware that none of us are perfect. I have enough of my own rough edges to remember that. But what most people don’t realize is that when it comes to using wisdom and discernment, you do get an ‘A’ for effort. Even if you miss the mark, people grant more grace for misjudging in an effort to do right than they will for the knife in the back. It’s one of the few areas in life where trying matters, and people can tell if you’re really trying, or just slathering on the margarine for what you want out of them next.

It seems to me that the Book of Proverbs has it right on this one. And I chose The Bible over Psychology Today every time. Sorry, science. I like you, but you lose this round.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a good week.

Bye!

Habits

1/31/2014

I recently started reading Making Good Habits – Breaking Bad Habits, by Joyce Meyer, and one chapter in a line already got me thinking. She wrote “most of what we do on a daily basis is habit.” It reminded me of something somebody said in a seminar several years ago along these same lines. She said, “you don’t realize how many of our emotional reactions are actually habits. We subconsciously remember how we reacted the last time something similar happened, and jump right back to it. The way to gain control is to stop for a moment and ask yourself ‘why do I feel this way?’ You’d be amazed at how much more productive you are when you get a handle on your emotions.”

Both this line and the memory of that seminar got me to thinking. It’s easy to see how some things are habits. My Bible reading is a habit. Prayer time is a habit. Listening to my weather radio while I get dressed is a habit. The times we eat lunch and supper are habits. Chores and errands are habits. Even many of the things I do with my writing and promoting it are habits. All of these were formed, on purpose, based on what works. But how many other habits are part of my daily life that might not be so effective? Are there things I do that may be holding me back? Or other ways that would be more productive, if I made a simple change?

I’ve often said that changing how you think about things is the hardest thing to do, and now I realize why. It requires a tremendous effort to pay attention to things we normally don’t notice and take control of it to form new habits! And often, people get frustrated in the process and just give up, thinking it’s not worth it – or worse yet, “if people love me, they will accept me as I am and get over it.”

And the devil absolutely loves that attitude, because he knows that the constant cycle of frustration/fight/forgiveness is slowly chipping away at your relationships, and the process gets slower every time you take another round. The truth is, it does matter, and it has a bigger impact on your relationships than you think. Even small things can chip away at something good until all that’s left are the crumbs of broken trust and resentment that overshadow any good sentiment that once held the dust together.

It’s been four years since I underwent my major mental overhaul (thanks to a major life overhaul), and I can tell you that my biggest struggle was accepting things as they are, and not as I want them to be. I still struggle with that from time to time, most recently with my parakeet’s nerve injury. I hate to see Ollie hurt, and was under a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress over it. Nothing I did seemed to help and I was so aggravated! You know what changed that? Getting the flu. I was literally too sick to worry all the time. But a surprising thing happened. I found that, when I quit hovering over Ollie all the time and peeping on him every few minutes, he improved drastically. He’s not healed, and these cold days knock him down more than I like, but I quickly saw that when I accepted him in the condition he’s in now – and not the condition he was in six months ago, which I want him to return to – he did better. He started eating more. He started chirping and singing every now and then. He seemed to relax and accept his own healing as I relaxed and accepted it. He even gets spunky and sassy every now and then. I see his personality coming back. But it didn’t happen until I backed off, trusted the Lord to heal Ollie, and let it go.

If changing my behavior can impact a parakeet, imagine how it can impact other people.

It’s something worth thinking about. I know I have been. Yes, people should accept you as you are, but don’t you want to do your part to make your relationships the best they can be? How much better can your relationships be if you replace nagging with trusting? Complaining with compromising? Threats with respect? Or better yet, accepting people and things as they are and working with them instead of demanding that “they change or else?” Ah, that’s one to really be cautious of. When threats start, “or else” is often the more attractive offer.

Consider the parakeet. If it can improve through changes in human behavior, isn’t it worth a try? I mentioned two entries ago how negative energy drives people away. That too is a habit. And I think that if you really want to be happy, if you really want your relationships to be the best they can be, if you really want your life to be the best it can be, then you’ll agree that it’s worth breaking bad habits of thought, emotion, and behavior to bring it about. It takes work, and it takes time. But , as Meyer says, if you’re determined to make a positive change and focus on what you hope to gain instead of what hurts, then you can do it.

And again, more support to what I said two entries ago: change your mind, change your life. Or, as the Book of Proverbs says, "as a man thinks in his heart, so he is."

It’s worth thinking about. I’m happy with my life, but I believe it’s because I’m always looking for ways to make things better. Learning is a lifelong process, after all. And it’s a process I’m committed to.

That’s all today. Have a Happy Friday and a great weekend.

Bye!

Something Worth Pissing You Off For

1/28/2014

I've had something on my mind the past few weeks that I've debated on sharing here. But I think that if it's persisted on my conscious this long, then it's time to share it. And I'll go ahead and warn you: more sensitive types will find this offensive. But I think it's something worth pissing you off for if it gets you to thinking about it - or better yet, avoiding future problems.

Folks, here it is, plain and simple: I respectfully decline to attend any and all invitations pity parties, rants, raves, or "pieces of your mind" in 2014. One thing that I realized with my bout with the flu was that my exhaustion preceded it by MONTHS, and I naturally wondered why. Imagine my shock when I took a look around and realized how much negative energy I was surrounded by. No wonder! That will sap the life out of anybody, and I don't want to live under a cloud of anger, frustration, and gloom anymore. Add to that the fact that I've had a few people go off on me because SOMEBODY ELSE said or did something that pissed them off - mind you, something I had nothing to do with and wasn't even remotely around when it happened in some cases - and no thanks. Sure, I expect and deserve to be called when I'm the offender. But if I didn't cause the derailment, well, crash that train somewhere else. I'm not Amtrack. I have enough to attend to without taking on what's not my business. I don't know if I have 99 problems, but yours will not be one. I'm getting my own life back on track after a difficult (and in some places, painful) year, and restoring my balance from that is a job in and of itself. Things are working out and I'm trying very hard to make sure they stay on the right track without any more causalities than have already been taken.

I realize we all need to vent every now and then, but if you do it all the time, people don't want to be around you. Even doing it too frequently will have that affect. I saw a post on Facebook a few days ago where a friend of mind advised others to "keep their dirty laundry offline," but I'd say you need to confine it even more than that. Choose your confidents carefully. Use wisdom and discernment in thoughts, words, and actions. You don't have to be under arrest for Miranda rights to apply. Anything you say can and very likely will be used against you not only in the court of public opinion, but in reality as well.

I know, people shouldn't judge - and that doesn't stop them from doing it anyway. I know, people need to mind their own business - but gossip spreads faster than weeds, and what you say can come back to you long after you've resolved the problem and forgotten it. I know, you need help and support every now and then - but there are some people that aren't afraid to use your problems against you, especially if it helps them (or worse yet, somebody else that they like better than you) to get ahead. I know, you need for people to understand and grant you some attention and compassion - but you need to follow up your words with action to bring about resolution. If you complain all the time and do nothing to even try to better your situation, people pass you off as so much hot air and let you go like a rubber balloon at a kids birthday party.

My point is this: ranting, raving, complaining, whining, screaming, and crying are meant to be temporary "overload" outlets. Use them with discretion. Implementing them too frequently not only drives others away, but drags you down too. Follow up words with thought. Follow up anger or tears with action. Take a proactive approach to either change your situation, or figure out how to better work with it. I know not all things can be changed, and plenty is out of your control - but one thing you can change is how you think about your situation. It really is true that changing how you think about something can change your life. It may take some time, but it can happen. I'm living proof of that, several times over. Don't let too much negative energy surround you for too long, or it will take you over. All things pass. Take one day at a time and try to do something each day that's positive and uplifting. Plan as best as you can for the future, and then let it go and come back to the present. You are where you are for a reason, so do your best to work with it, figure out what God wants you to do with it, and mine it for all the opportunity you can find. And, of course, here's my standard cure-all advice: pray and read The Bible. I started doing daily Bible readings again on January 1, and it's made a drastic difference in my mood and outlook. It's something I'd like to make a part of my daily lifestyle from now on.

In closing, I'll say that yes, we all have those "blow up" moments. God knows, I've had my fair share of train wrecks, a few in the past year. It's understandable, but unfortunately it can lead to consequences that you didn't intend or realize. "I'm sorry" is just the beginning of a long process of forgiveness, rebuilding, and moving on, and that's a process that's often longer than most of us are comfortable with. That's why we learn and try not to make those mistakes again. So now that I've put it out there for God and everybody to see on the Internet, let's file this one away for future reference. Personal experience + public posting acknowledgement = now we know better. Let's try to be more positive and avoid derailments in the future.

That's all today. Take care and have a great week.

Bye!

Luck?

9/26/2013

When it comes to luck, I seem to get an avalanche because it all hits me at one time. When it's good luck, that's okay. But when it's bad luck, it's rather aggravating. And you've probably guessed that for the past months, it seems I've been on a roll of bad luck. Illness, injury, accidents, things breaking or going wrong, a constant barrage of bad luck. On the one hand, it's minor irritations that are usually handled quickly. But those add up, and pretty soon the minor irritants lead to a major breakdown.

Yes, it happened last week - but the irritations haven't. Just when I thought okay, maybe it's leveling out, I get up this morning to another accident. I broke a dental device that I need to keep the extensive dental work I had when I was younger "in place." I had a lot of dental problems as a kid and in my early teens. They're resolved, thankfully, but proper maintenance is key to making sure they don't come back. So now, I'm fixing to head to the dentist to get it fixed. He said it sounds like it's not really major. It's happened before, and he was able to fix it, so he believes this won't be a big deal. But it's a kink in my day, my schedule, and my life. And maybe it is some luck here, because I'm supposed to be at a conference in Minneapolis right now, but I'm not because of conflicts at work (that are also in the resolution process, but alas, didn't happen in time for me to make this trip). At least I'm home and can get this resolved now.

Some people go through times like this and say "what have I done to deserve this?" or "God must be mad at me." Nonsense. I say "wow, I must really be pissing the devil off for him to be after me like this, and God must be protecting me by limiting the scope." The Bible said time and chance happen to us all - it's just happening to me a lot right now. And I recently read the Book of Job. It's not God's fault that life sucks sometimes. That's the imperfect nature of the world that sin brought in. But that's a discussion for another time. Suffice it to say, I'm hanging in there and refusing to be discouraged. I had a bit of a breakdown last week and I'm not interested in another one, thank you very much.

I'll tell you this: there's no way I'm following people's advice and buying a lottery ticket. They say I'm due good luck and should play it. Heck no! I'm afraid that if I win, I'll die the next day. Or be horribly injured. Or get a terminal disease. The way things are going, I'd be lucky if I didn't win because winning would tempt the devil, fate, or whatever into hitting me with it's best shot. No thanks! Best to leave it alone and not bring gambling into the mix. You buy the lottery ticket and good luck. I don't see that working out for me at all. I'll take a more low key approach and keep working each day. That's always worked to lead to better times, so why stop? Maybe the release of Splinter in a little over a month will turn the tide to better luck, better days, and better ways.

I'm hoping. For now, I'm thankful the scope is limited to minor irritations and I'm hanging in there.

I best be off. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a good weekend.

Bye!

Shift Your Paradigm - Must Read Books, Part 1

9/9/2013

One thing I pondered over during my covalence from the wasp sting are books I’ve read that challenged my thinking. I believe there are some books that every person should read, at least once in their life, because they have the potential to shift our paradigm on how we see life and the world.

There are many books on this list, so in order to keep my entries to a reasonable length; I’ll break it up over three entries. I’ll also include links to Amazon so you can check these out for yourself. Be forewarned – this isn’t “light reading,” but that’s the whole purpose – these books engage your whole mind and challenge you to think. I’ll begin the list by digging to the deepest levels of all – faith and eternity.

The Bible. There are many great devotionals that give you meditations on verses and sections of the Bible, and even more guides that give you intensive studies of books and subjects covered in The Bible, but have you ever actually read it from start to finish? If you’re a Christian, it’s important that you know the Bible in order to apply it to your life properly – plus, a read through gives you not only the information, but the history of Christian faith. It’s amazing what you see reading it through from start to finish. There are many versions and reading plans, many geared toward a 1 year reading plan (because that breaks it up into readings of about 15 minutes per day). Find a good study Bible in a translation that you can easily understand, and make scripture reading a part of your daily routine. (I’ve linked to the New Revised Version because that’s my favorite).

The Other Bible. I’ve been told by many people that I shouldn’t have touched this one with a ten foot pole, and no doubt I’ll come under fire for suggesting it. This book includes The Apocrypha, The Gnostic Gospels, and The Dead Sea Scrolls – basically, the stuff that didn’t make the “cut” at the Council of Nicaea for The Bible that we know and love. I don’t suggest it for “new believers,” but I think it’s a good idea for people of established faith to get an idea of the thoughts and ideas that shaped our faith and what early believers were seeing and reading. I’ll admit that The Gnostic Gospels are all kinds of crazy to me, but I don’t regret reading it because guess what – those beliefs are still alive today, albeit not widespread. (And I did wind out using some of this for Splinter). Are they true? Are they not? I think it’s obvious why they didn’t make the cut, but I think it’s also good to learn how our faith has developed since the days of Christ. If your faith is solid, then you have nothing to fear because there’s nothing in there that should jerk the rug out from under you. So give it a read – if you dare.

The Divine Comedy (Inferno, Purgatoria, and Paradiso) by Dante Aligheri. Tour hell, purgatory, and Heaven with Dante on Good Friday in the year 1300. This trilogy is definitely one that will shift your paradigm on the concept of eternity. On the one hand it’s not for the faint of heart. On the other hand, I believe everybody should dare to read it to understand that there are worlds beyond the one we see, and they aren’t anything like what we know. Its not easy reading, but it’s worth it. And bear in mind that Dante wrote this based on a real “vision” that he had. There’s speculation that he was in an altered state when writing it, but so was Edgar Allen Poe when he did a good bit of his writing, and we still hail it as literature. Plus, if you read the Books of Enoch and some of the revelations in The Other Bible, you’ll find interesting parallels between the texts. It makes you wonder whether it’s fiction, or something more.

The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis. It’s a more up to date, easier to understand view on the after life. Take a tour of purgatory with Lewis after his fictional fall from a chair to see a glimpse of “the other side” and see what it takes to navigate purgatory to catch the bus to Heaven – or miss is and wind out - exactly where? An interesting read, easier than Dante but still makes great points, and not too long, either.

The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. I absolutely love this book because you get a glimpse of Christian faith from “the other side.” Demons tell of the trials and tribulations of winning souls to hell and what it takes to damn a soul. It’s enlightening with humor in some places and things that will absolutely jolt you in others. Sometimes you can learn a lot from looking through the dark side of the mirror. Another one that ponders – is it fiction, or something more?

Next time, I’ll move to living and social issues. Here’s a sneak peek at what else is on the list:

How to Forgive – When You Don’t Feel Like It (June Hunt)

Battlefield of the Mind (Joyce Meyer)

Rising Above the Level of Mediocrity (Charles Swindoll)

How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)

1984 (George Orwell)

Part 3 will be just for you writers. I’m working on a list of reference books that will help you write better and get published. Stay tuned!

That’s all for today. Tune in next time for the social issues edition. And have a great week.

Bye!

Paradigm Shifts

8/26/2013

On this, my 38th birthday, I find my self pondering the progress of the past year. I suppose this is a natural thing to do on a birthday. On first glance it could seem disappointing, as there are no "major" changes to report, but that's actually deceptive. There have been changes in the past year, but they've been more in the way of "shifts" instead of what could be clearly defined as "changed." I suppose this sounds somewhat elusive, so of course I'm going to explain.

The progress of the past year has actually been more in the way of building on things that have already been in motion. While it doesn't seem that much has changed - after all, life is progressing along very much the same today as it was a year ago - I can't say that I think about or feel the way that I did about life as I did one, two, or five years ago. In fact, as I ponder it, I notice that my paradigm has shifted quite a bit in the last 4 years. I suppose this is natural. My job changed and I finally broke into publication with my writing in 2010 - 2011, and while these things are "the norm" in my life right now, I see how incorporating those changes into my life has changed my view of life and the world. My basic morals haven't changed. That's not something that's likely to change. But the way you see the world around you and apply those morals can change, and I'm starting to see the evidence that it's happened. When you walk in faith long enough, you delve deeper into things, and that's certainly what's happened to me.

So how have I changed? For one, I'm seeing a whole new application of the concept of "reaping and sowing," as described in Galatians 6:7. You all know that this is one thing that my grandfather was a big believer in, and I took it to heart. But this verse applies to more than just relationships with other people and how you treat them - it also applies to progress and purpose in life. In fact, if you shift two more verses you'll read that "in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) After several years of hard work to re-establish myself professionally in my current workplace and to get my writing established, I see the value of patience in all that we do. If life really is a series of ups and downs, reaping and sowing, then that has big implications for all of life. If we choose to only allow ourselves to be happy on the mountaintop, when we're reaping the rewards of our labors, then we're guaranteed to be miserable (or at least, withholding our own happiness) at least 50% of our life. Folks, that just isn't acceptable to me. That's not going to do it. Sure, there are some people that enjoy being miserable and whining and complaining to get attention, but that's not the way I choose.

I know from experience that there are blessings in every day because I've been through the major life changes when I looked back and realized that there were little blessings that I took for granted, and I was sorry for it. An example: before my writing was published, I used to do counted cross stitching and wrote short stories. Much to my surprise, I find that I have very little time for that now, between promoting my published works and creating new ones. I love my writing and pray daily that it will continue to grow and reach more people - in fact, I'm prayerfully striving to make a break into science fiction with Splinter this fall - but there are some days when I miss having the time to cross stitch, or to goof off on Writing.com with short story contests. I didn't realize how much time these things filled in my life until my writing grew to the point where I had to make decisions about what stayed and what went. I still stitch occasionally, but large projects are out now. And as for short stories, they take me longer to write, prepare, and complete than they once did. And ditto for the work move. I was glad to make it and still believe it was the best, but I didn't realize the little things I took for granted, like talking to a couple of my friends when things got slow, the great walking paths on the State House grounds, a covered parking spot or those outstanding subs for a great price on Tuesdays and Fridays. Yes, I've gained a lot through both changes. I wouldn't undo either of them or the world because I gained a lot more than I lost. But I did learn to not despise the small things, and to appreciate the small blessings that go with each day as well as the big things we work so hard to cultivate and grow in our lives.

Some people say this means to "enjoy the journey on the way to where you go," but I think there's a deeper meaning than that. A devotion I read recently said, "God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to do what's right." That really hit me and helped me to get a grasp on my own paradigm shift. I used to think that the point was about being happy, and I actually worried for a little while, wondering if I'd ever be happy like I was before. I see now that I won't, because happy is a side effect. The purpose of life is not to serve our feelings, but to do what we're supposed to be doing and work hard to do what's right for our purpose in life. If you are faithful in well doing and obedient to the spirit, there's a contentment to your life that nothing - situations, circumstances, or other people and their attitudes (because that really reflects on them more than anything else, but that's a pondering for another entry) - can affect. You can rest in knowing that you're doing all you can, and that allows you to enjoy the blessings of every day, large or small. And contentment is better than happiness. It's more stable, because you can still see the blessing in what you have even if a thousand aggravations are bleeding out of them. It's built on a firmer foundation that gives you the patience to hold out for the "bigger picture" even if you don't understand what the point is (as is often the case). It's built on a trust between you and the Lord and nobody else can put their hands on it. And that can give you the courage to do what's right, even in the face of ridicule, opposition, or doubt. Happiness is transient and comes and goes with circumstances. Contentment is faith in action.

No, the earth hasn't moved in the last year. Things look much the same today as they do every other day. But I know they aren't. I see how the work at the everyday levels is building to something new and better. I might not know what yet, but when it is revealed then I'll reap a reward in due season, and be glad I didn't lose heart.

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

The Perils of Being "Normal"

8/9/2013

I got a copy of my performance evaluation this week and cringed at the opening paragraph. The evaluation was good, but it seems that every one I’ve had for the past 3 years opened with “Since Sherri transferred from her former department, she has …” I sighed as I filed it and said to Chloe (because she was on my shoulder and it would be crazy to talk to myself), “am I destined always be preceded by this note that I’m different from every other employee?” I shook my head at it. I’m always different. I always have been and always will be. 99.9% of the time, it doesn’t bother me because I’m proud of how I’m unique from the rest of the world. But every once in a while, it does get to me.

Then the next day somebody told me about a friend that was irritating them to death with frequent telephone calls. Her friend envied her hair and kept calling to ask how she got her hair to look that for an upcoming event. “It’s ridiculous and she’s driving me crazy!” my friend said, “and she’ll never get it to look like mine. Why can’t she accept it?” My friend is right. One of them has straight hair and one has curly hair. They’ll never have identical hairdos because it’s literally impossible. And then the light went off over my own head: it seems that the desire to be normal actually causes MORE problems than being different. As I ponder this further, it’s true. There’s a lot of strife in this world, and most of it goes back to 2 things:

1. People are jealous and envy what others have; or

2. People don’t understand what others are doing because it doesn’t seem “right” to them, so they object.

And in both situations, there’s no way to have a good, functioning relationship with people. So they argue. They fight. They try to force and coerce others to doing things the way they believe is “right” and refuse to accept people for who they are. What’s more, many of these people are in church every Sunday, and yet the concept of grace and having enough of it to respect the wants and needs of others goes right past them. It’s like it doesn’t even exist.

I might not be popular, but at least I have freedom. I don’t envy others because I’m too busy attending to the business of my own life. And as a result of that, I usually don’t spend too much mental energy forming opinions of how other people are leading their life unless they intrude on my time/space/territory (then it’s fair game, because I do have a right to determine what is and is not acceptable in my own life, and I can give you the name of a few witnesses that will attest to the fact that I will indeed do just that if you invade my life). I might not understand things, but one thing I’ve learned in adulthood is wisdom is gained from mistakes, and experience is, in many instances, a greater teacher than words. I remember what J.R.R. Tolkein wrote in The Lord of the Rings about the burned hand taking lessons of fire to heart. I also remember what C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters about the prayer the devil loves the most is “make me like everybody else.” That’s Satan’s playground, where every deadly sin has a place to take root. I see the point. If “everybody is doing it,” then that’s reason to stop right there and ask if it’s wisdom or just the next foolish net laid for this season’s catch.

I know I have too many rough edges for some people to deal with, but I’ve found that they deal with being real and honest a lot better than being fake. I’ve also learned that, as the saying goes about birthday’s, “it’s a matter of mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Being true to who the Lord made you to be not only guarantees that you will find and fulfill all of your purposes in life, but that the opinions of others really don’t matter to you. Things tend to turn out for the best if you stay true to yourself, anyway. Yes, people still shake their head at me occasionally. Yes, I get frustrated with the lack of understanding from time to time. No, I’ll never be popular. No, I’m not in any cliques. I go my own way and do my own thing. But people know my personal policy, and that they can trust me to always do my very best, no matter what. And a funny thing happens when you stand your ground – people are more comfortable being their real self when they see that you aren’t afraid. They open up more and worry less, and in turn you develop stronger relationships based on mutual trust and respect. That’s just not possible in cliques based on fake conformity, masks, and facades. They can have that, because I don’t have time for what’s fake. Give me something real or get outta here. That’s my stand.

Last week, I read an interesting line in my weekly devotional. It said “God doesn’t want you to be happy. He wants you to do what’s right.” That’s absolutely true. I’m reading through The Bible, and one thing that strikes me is God’s repeated statement to “obey my commands.” Not “do whatever and you’ll be okay,” but “obey my commands.” This is usually followed by a list of how people will prosper if they do and suffer if they don’t. Furthermore, Jesus went on to say that He wants us to have life in all its abundance – but you have to do what’s right to get it. Jesus didn’t say “have an okay life.” He said “life in abundance.” It seems to me that if you do what’s right, then happy is a side effect. Too many people are hung up on their feelings these days. They want happy, but don’t understand what it takes to get happy. It’s like they’re feasting on French fries and leaving the steak untouched. Doing right = happy. Do wrong = hurt. It’s the simplest equation and yet, through all of human history, we still don’t get it. I think it goes back to the Mark Twain quote that “opportunity is often missed because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” True enough.

I think this is why unique people are happier in the long run. They aren’t caught up in the trappings of “what everybody else is doing” and “what should be” like others are. They aren’t afraid of who they are or of the hard work it takes to accomplish their dreams. They’re playing the hand they have and making the best of it. And after a while, you learn to play it to win – even if it’s a hand full of jokers!

That’s all today. Happy Friday to you and have a great weekend.

Bye!

False Security

6/25/2013

I'm glad there are some people out there that have never been bullied, challenged, or have been forced to suffer at the hands of people with ill intentions. I'm glad you've never had to go "head to head" with people that believe you need to be "fixed" because they believe you're too idealistic or that your morals are silly or stupid. I'm glad there are people that never have to stand up to anything because they're never challenged and the world just falls at their feet. I'm glad they can confidently say "I don't get what your problem is" because they don't have any.

But you know what else? For all the security you project, I also pity you. I pity you because it's a false security. You never have to stand because you don't stand for anything. I pity you because you're blind to the realities that the world is bigger than you can possibly know, and that there are forces at work in this world and in the universe that you ignore because you can't put your hands on them. Because you don't see it with your eyes, you criticize. And you're on perilous ground.

Criticize my faith all you want. You will never turn me away. I believe in Christ and I believe in The Bible. I also believe in the one thing that makes most of you squirm and start screaming at me about why my faith can't be right: accountability. That's the one area where I'm called on the most. "If God is love, then He won't hurt us," people say to me boldly.

No, He won't. But others will. And if you do wrong, He won't save you from the consequences. He does love, He wants what's best. The Bible even says He wants no man to be lost. But we also have a choice, and it also says that believing in forgiveness isn't permission to sin. We know better and we're expected to act like it. If we don't, we will suffer at our own hand.

God won't hurt us, but we can hurt ourselves. And we do it plenty. All the time. Every day. Every book I've written is about people who refused to be obedient to what they should do, and they suffered until they woke up, realized what was right, and did it. I'm not a religious writer, but I won't allow a character to win by doing wrong. That's a personal conviction. Any victory from doing wrong is temporary, and I want to show readers the path to lasting victory.

For all that smirk and say "Oh, then you say God delights in revenge but He's also love?" remember this: King David was a man after God's own heart, but he still paid for the sin of adultery. The son he fathered through that sin with Bathsheba died. God was grieved by this sin and forgave David, but He didn't erase the consequences of doing wrong. And it's why David didn't make that mistake again. He feels the same way when we go on with our bad selves and set ourselves up in similar ways. He's not a "smitey God" (as someone on Facebook proposed), but He won't absolve accountability. He will correct us in love and hope we will learn and not cling to stubbornness and continuing to make the same old mistakes, over and over. If there are no consequences, we never learn. If we never learn, we never grow, improve, or get better. We have no compassion for others because we are isolated in ourselves. Lack of accountability is a cycle of self destruction, which is why God won't allow that to happen. And so squirm all you want but we are accountable. You might think you are beholden to no-one, and you're wrong. You're dangerously wrong.

No, life isn't easy. It's hard and it hurts and it downright sucks sometimes. I'm not sure why some things are allowed to happen and I'll be honest enough to say that I have a "what good did THAT do?" list of my own. Sometimes I actually blog about things on this list. But I've learned this much in my 37 years on this planet:

1. I don't have all the answers; and

2. It's okay that I don't have all the answers. In fact, over the past couple of years, I've come to feel that I don't WANT all of the answers. That's more responsibility than I care for, and to me, faith is better than trying to process all of that.

Believe or don't believe - it's your choice, and I'm not going to beat you over the head with a Bible or argue theology. In fact, I see the fact that you argue as a good thing. Because if you argue, then you're thinking about God and faith. And if you didn't care at all, then you wouldn't go to all of that trouble , because nobody's got time for that.

Gotcha!

That's all today.

Bye!

The Holiday Wazzup Letter!

12/23/2012

Dear Friends:

We hope this digital letter finds you safe, healthy, happy, and enjoying a wonderful holiday season. In the spirit of the annual holiday letter, I thought it would be fun to share some of the highlights of the past year with you.

I know, this is a blog. You've been keeping up. But for the sake of those that don't like to log in twice a week for my ramblings, well, here's a summary:

Rick just wrapped up a 3 year term on church council at Mt. Tabor. He was heading up the IT committee and did a great job updating the website (which was his major project for his first year on council) and with keeping up staff technology needs. It did get to be a bit of a challenge this year, though. We lost both of our pastors this year - the head pastor left for a higher position with the Synod in March, and the associate pastor left to head up a congregation in Charleston, which is where he's from. It was tough losing them - and then major changes at Rick's job drastically altared his work situation, which has required more overtime work and made serving a bit more challenging. But he stuck in there and was determined to see his term through. We're very proud of him for hanging in there despite the challenges of the past few months, and for all he's done for the church. You can check out the church website that he designed at www.mttaborlutheran.org .

Unfortunately, I had to quit both of my church committees. I had always planned to step down from the IT committee when Rick's term ended, but major changes in my own work situation and my writing picking up cut significantly into my spare time for volunteer activities. There are some things and events that I do hope to continue participating in, but right now being on a standing committee isn't something that's practical for me. It's a shame, too, because I enjoyed it and hated to give it up. Maybe in another season of life.

My work has picked up with additional duties. I'm now working with 4 licensure programs, and recent staff shortages have put more of a burden on remaining staff. I do finally have a window office, which is good (although I got the workload that came with it), and I'm also required to travel twice a year for the landscape architect program. Last year I attended the spring meeting in late February in Miami, and the national meeting in September in San Francisco. That trip to Miami was the first time I've ever flown! It's not bad, either. And while I'm not a big fan of travel, well, I'm hanging in there to see how it works out. The next meeting up is the regional meeting in Scottsdale, Arizona in March. We'll see. That's all I can say for now. Overall the job is good, although it has been very stressful lately. Our workload usually peaks in December (exam deadlines, plus people in a rush to get licensed to get projects in the new year), and being down a person has been hard. Hopefully, we'll fill that open position soon and things will level out. I'm off work until January 2, so hopefully some time with family, friends, and at home with Rick and the birds will do me some good.

My writing is also making progress. I published my second fiction novel, Anywhere But Here, through Whiskey Creek Press in April. They offered me a contract for my third fiction novel, a sci-fi apocolyptic novel titled Splinter, last summer. I'm already working on two writing projects now that I hope to wrap up in the spring. One is another mystery novel titled Move. It's about a young woman that unknowingly makes a deal with a djinn (genie), but unfortunately his help is rather radical and leads to more problems than solutions. The other is a non-fiction book titled Feathered Frenzy. It's basically a "quick reference guide" to give people tips on making their home and lifestyle bird-friendly. And believe it or not, I ALREADY have an idea for my next project. That one is still in a very early brainstorming stage. I'm not even considering working on that one more until I get my two current projects finished. I'm building an audience and working on many promotional things for my published novels. It's slow work, but worth it. I enjoy writing and I think going the "independent author" route was the right choice - especially with the traditional route going into decline as e-publishing picks up. I hope I hit the e-book wave at just the right time!

The birds are doing well. They'll be doing their own Christmas letter to you on their blog over at http://conurecorner.weebly.com soon. Santa has big plans for them and I think we're going to have three very happy birdies in a couple of days!

Our families are doing well. Mom and Dad are staying busy, as usual. Mom had surgery for carpral tunnel last summer and I tell you, that's the fastest surgery recovery I've ever seen! She was back up and running in no time! Dad is still working. Retirement talk comes up from time to time, but no definite plans or timeline yet. I tell you, those design professionals - they love their work and don't like to retire! Stephen and Nicole are doing well too. Stephen's still keeping them straight as a department head at Public Safety, and Nicole is working at home in medical transcription. She graduated from a medical management program in the spring, but unfortunately she had to have surgery for diverticulitis shortly after graduation, so that was an unexpected hiccup in her life. But she's doing fine now and moving forward again.

Rick's parents are also doing ok. You know his father has dementia, so there are good days and bad days - that's just how it goes with that. They joined the Methodist church up the road last month. Our nieces and Rick's sister and brother-in-law are also doing well. We just got back from our Christmas visit with them in Greenville this morning. They stay busy with work, school, and activities - much like all of us.

And yes, in case any of you are wondering, I did complete my New Year's resolution of reading through The Bible again this year. I actually finished it in September!

Well, that's pretty much it. We are truly blessed and thank God every day for all that He has done for us and allowed us to do for others. We hope all of you are doing well and that life is being good to you. You know that everybody is welcome to visit this website and blog. I strive to update it at least twice a week. Some people have themes for their blogs and while the theme of this website is my writing, the blog isn't limited to that. In fact, I believe all of life inspires my writing, and this blog is open to anything and everything happening in life. Feel free to read, share, and pass it along to anybody interested, whether it's family, friends, readers, other writers, or anybody that's interested in how one writer's life inspires her tales!

Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season and that your new year is filled with joy, peace and prosperity.

God bless and best wishes,

Rick and Sherri

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