Escape Reality
By SherritheWriter
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Take a Look Around

12/30/2012

 
While most people are in the "making resolutions" stage, I prefer to use the end of the year to take a look back at what I've learned and accomplished, and to decide how to move forward. I believe resolutions are more effective if we consider what we want to do with what we have rather than blindly shooting darts at a random goal. After all, we have an entire life, and our resolutions are more likely to stick if they're things that serve many aspects of it. So without further ado, let me share that during 2012 I have learned:

1. More about the legislative process than I ever imagined possible - or even wanted to know. My work move in 2010 was a result of changes to the law governing the landscape architect and soil classifiers programs that I worked with. I got a crash course in bills becoming laws that year and believe me, the old "School House Rock" on how a bill becomes a law didn't even scratch the surface! Once the move was done, I still had to assist with getting regulations passed to go with that new law - a process that crossed over two sessions due to some oversights in the statute for the soil classifiers. Over the past 3 legislative sessions I've sat in more legislative subcommittee and committee meetings than I can count - including that fateful meeting in May 2011 when the cemetery regulations were on the agenda before mine and I also got a crash course education in things that can go wrong with burials that curbed my appetite for a few days and scarred my poor mind forever (note to self: dying is disgusting). It's not easy. In fact, it's slow, and snafus and roadblocks can pop up when you least expect it (think my "life is like a jack-in-the box analogy). You have to have a pound of patience and a ton of flexibility. But boy have I learned a lot now, and I have a new respect (or rather, understanding and better knowledtge) of what's happening in the State House. Thankfully, everything has been updated for both programs, and now they're all up to date. Barring any unexpected changes from the inside or other sourses outside the Boards, we will hopefully be ok.

What I'll do with this knowledge: As it turns out, the architects are updating their regulations and the engineers are considering updates to their statute. Those are bigger programs, so my "hands on" assistance won't be needed as much as it was for the smaller programs I worked with, but I will track their documents through the process and do whatever I can to help.

2. More about writing and publishing than I thought possible. This all started with a power resolution I made in 2011 to do everything possible to improve as a writer and to get myself published again by going "outside of the box." I brushed up on my grammer rules, revised my work, and decided to give e-publishing one more try (I had a contract to e-publish Quarantine in 2009, but the company broke the contract and filed for bankruptcy before it went to print). It worked - I got contracts for Blurry and Anywhere  But Here, and they've both been published. This year, I added educating myself on publicity and promotional opportunities for my published works, and I decided to work in the areas of keeping a strong online presence and pursuing book reviews and author interviews. I also signed a contract for Splinter, the National Novel Writing Month book I wrote in 2010, and started another mystery novel and another non-fiction book for bird owners this year.

What I'll do with this knowledge: First and foremost is to finish Move and Feathered Frenzy,to work with Whiskey Creek Press on Splinter when they're ready to take it into pre-production, and to promote it like crazy when it's published. I'd also like to expand on a couple of projects that will serve in the promotion and the writing more and writing better categories: I'd like to get back into writing articles, short stories, and novellas. Shorter works are a bit more of a challenge for me because I'm a novelist at heart, but the fact is that I need to have new material to release more regularly than is possible to do with a novel, and the only way to do that is to delve into shorter markets. I'm already working on some articles, and once I get Move and Feathered Frenzy done, I'd like to brush up on my skills with the shorter stuff and see what I can get out there.

3. I flew! I did it twice, actually. My job started to require me to travel to the landscape architect conferences, so I made trips to Miami and San Francisco last year. That was a new experience for me, but not as bad as I thought. Actually, I was fortunate that my flights went well and I don't mind flying at all. This educated me in so many ways. I learned that I can travel with two carry-on bags and less than I  imagined possible. I learned that it's not terribly difficult to find your way around an airport, and that Charlotte really is reasonable and easy to get around. I learned that although I love ebooks, paperbacks are really a better way to go with reading material since you have to turn off electronics so much. I learned that if you're nice to the stewardess, they'll give you the bag of pretzels that aren't all broken and crunched up. I learned that Miami International Airport is about a million square miles, and I think I walked every bit of it - but Salt Lake City is like Walmart on Christmas Eve, and located in what looks like a crater to boot, so there are different kinds of suffering. I learned that taxi drivers can scare the hell out of you. And I learned that turbulence is really a "come to Jesus" moment in a patch of rough airspace over Kansas. And yes, I've seen places I probably wouldn't have gone before. I mean, San Francisco? I had never been on the west coast,in a different time zone, or put up in a five star hotel (albeit business class)  before that. It was something.

What I'll do with what I learned: Become more travel savvy, whether I planned to or not. And next up is Scottsdale, Arizona.

4. Smartphones don't make you smarter, but they sure help you look smarter. Rick and I finally got iPhones last January, and I'm so glad we did. For all the people that say "how can a phone make you smarter?" I say in about a zillion ways. I can keep up with things. I can be reached just about anywhere (unless I'm on a flight). I can keep my schedule, make lists, check news and weather, and set reminders. Heck, the only things it won't do are clean the house, clean the bird cages, cook my meals, and rake the yard. But it's the 21st century. Who knows? Rosie the Robot maid might come about in my lifetime yet.

What I'll do with what I learned: Thank God that I live in an era of computers and smartphones to make life easier and keep using them to the fullest advantage!

5. Balance in life is a personal responsibility, and sometimes you must make hard choices to maintain it.  There are only so many hours in a day, and it's impossible to do everything you want to do. With personal responsibilities and the relationships in our lives, we often have to choose what we like best, do that, and drop other things.  This really hit me when I quit the evangelism committee at church in October. I didn't want to do it, but frankly I'd felt the nagging in my spirit that my life was too full and I needed to let go of some things to focus on what was growing in my life. Rick and I are fortunate to have a good marriage, our birds, all of our parents alive, our families, good, stable jobs, and our home. Rick does some website design here and there, and my writing is continuing to build and grow. We have some excellent friends that we're in contact with. Unfortunately - that's all we have time for. The time we had for volunteer activities has filled up with other things growing, and we both had to accept that it was time to let the volunteering go, for a while at least. His term on council just ended and it's obvious that we need to take a break to nurture the things that are most important and tend to the biggest responsibilities that the Lord has laid  before us. Life does change, so it's inevitable that this season will pass and perhaps we'll have time to resume the volunteer activities. But for now, we've decided that we want to dedicate ourselves to and fully appreciate the blessings we have at hand without overcommitting ourselves to secondary or perphiery endeavors.

What I'll do with what I've learned: This sounds like it's coming out of left field, but pondering this discovery inspired me to make getting on the treadmill regularly a part of my life again. I believe we've made good decisions to keep a balance of our responsibilities and relationships in order, but balance is a holistic thing, and it occured to me that while my priorities are in order, I'm still stressed out because I'm not physically in order. I sit behind a desk at my job, then come home and sit behind a computer to write. I need to get more physically active, and the best way to do that is to get on that treadmill sitting in the computer room upstairs. I felt better, got sick less, and actually was less stressed and had better ideas for my writing when I was walking regularly. So I'm expanding the balance issue to my body as well as my mind and soul by getting back on the treadmill and integrating exercise into my life again.

6. Breaking Bad and Arrow are awesome shows. OMG! If you aren't watching these shows, you should be. Thanks so much to whoever it was that suggested Breaking Bad to Rick. We caught up on that show through Netflix and it's addictive! And Arrow, the new CW show based on The Green Arrow, has surprised me by hitting the ground running right in it's first season. I don't watch much TV (in fact, Supernatural is the only other show I do watch, and it's much better this season too), but these are worth checking out. Arrow and Supernatural come on The CW Wednesday nights at 8 and 9. Breaking Bad is a summer show that comes on AMC. Unfortunately, we don't get AMC through Dish TV, so we'll have to make arrangements to buy the 2013 season through our iTunes account and catch the episodes as they're released.

7. Skimping on sleep is counterproductive. I had a bad habit of staying up late to work on my writing, then getting up early for work the next day. It used to not bother me but, well, I'm not in my 20's anymore and skimping on sleep plus increasing job duties = bad idea. When Rick and I changed our work schedules in August, we decided that we needed to be serious about getting to sleep on time and getting a full night's rest so we could focus and be at our best the next day. So no more late nights for me. And you know what? I've actually been MORE productive since then, because I find I plan and utilize my time better (for example, I can do some pretty good writing and editing on my lunch hour if I take my laptop to work).

8. Transitions are tough, but once you've been hit with so many, you get numb. I learned this when our church lost our head pastor and associate pastor within a month earlier this year. Did it hurt? Yea, like hell. But I was amazed at how people seemed traumatized by it. At first I thought wow, that's selfish. Don't you want them to move ahead and better themselves? It's unfortunate they both left, but I couldn't begrudge either of them taking new opportunities and frankly, pastors are always going to move on eventually. Then it hit me: No, that's not it. It's just that after my life got smashed to smithereens in 2010 and I had to completely reconstruct it, losing two pastors was barely a blip on my radar. Other people hadn't seen the massive changes in their own lives that I'd just gone through, so this WAS major to them. And while we have certainly had to find new pastors plenty of times, it had been a while so frankly, we as a congregation were settled in and since we didn't see it coming, it was a shock to many. But to me shocks and adjustments had been a way of life for a while.

What I'll do with this knowledge: This was a good reminder of the concept of grace and of realizing that perspective is a personal thing. We all come from different places, and I believe this is a good illustration of how your experiences color your perception. Frankly, I'm still pondering this realization and what it means to me, and I really don't want to rush it because I think it's one that needs to sink in and grow strong roots in my own mind. But I think it's a good thing because one thing I already see is that we all handle things differently, and we need to be patient with one another and work together to help others and move forward. Where they are weak, we might be strong and where we are weak they might be strong. Working together, we can come through with a greater overall perspective. And it's a good lesson of faith too, as we work, wait, and look for a new leader for us.

I'm sure there are many more discoveries I've made during the year, but these are the big ones that spoke to me and are guiding me into my future. I hope that you'll also take some time to take stock and forge ahead into the new year using the confidence and wisdom you've gained through your experiences to keep moving ahead and making a better life, each and every day.

In closing, I believe today's benediction at church was a wonderful and beautiful sentiment that I wish all of you for the new year, and beyond:

"May you be filled with the wonder of Mary, the obedience of Joseph, the joy of the angels, the eagerness of the shepherds, the determination of the magi, and the peace of the Christ child. Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirigt bless you now and forever."

Amen. Bless you friends.I wish you all joy, peace, prosperity, and happiness and thank you for being there to listen, help and support me.

Happy New Year!

Recommended Devotionals

12/28/2012

 
One thing I've intended to do in this blog is to talk about books I've read and enjoyed. Unfortunately, I'm a slow reader, especially when I'm working on a major writing project, as I have been with Move since May and Feathered Frenzy since August. I do still enjoy reading, though, and had an idea that a good way to kick off working this into my blog would be to give you list of books I've read in the past that I enjoyed. I plan to link them to Amazon so you can find and purchase them easily. Be forewarned: I'm fond of e-books, so if there's an ebook version then that's the link I'll share. But most of them have paperback versions available as well.

And why wait until the New Year to start? We're winding down 2012 and many of you are probably looking for a devotional book to read in the new year. If you didn't get one for Christmas, I'd like to start sharing my reading list with you by recommending some devotionals I've read that I found inspiring.

1. A Year With C.S. Lewis. This is by far my favorite devotional. In fact, I plan to read it again this year. They're brief but thought provoking excerpts from Lewis' work, which is perfect for me since Lewis is one of my favorite writers. Definitely my #1 recommendation.

2. Simple Abundance - A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, by Sarah Ban Breathnach. This is a close second on my list. This book is an inspirational guide to helping you find your authentic self. It's not strictly religious - in fact, Breathnach makes many historical and cultural references to help guide you on the journey. One word of advice on this is that some of the entries can get lengthy, so if you choose this devotional then make sure you read the entry when you have some time to sit down and read perhaps 2-3 pages. But it's well worth it!

3. The Confident Woman Devotional, by Joyce Meyer. I'll be honest: This is one for those times in life when you need to start kicking a** and taking names. And ladies, we all need this pep talk every now and then. A great devotional to inspire you to find your confidence, set boundaries to protect it, and stand up for yourself. Plus, the readings are short and easy to read. You'll finish the year believing you can slay a dragon - without even chipping your nail polish.

4. Daily Guideposts 2013. Every year, Guideposts magazine releases a devotional book that features daily entries from their series of authors. Personally, I find it refreshing to get a different devotional from a different writer each day, because I feel it offers a broader perspective. The readings are brief - about a page each - and easy to read.

5. The Everyday Bible. One thing I do every other year is read through The Bible. You can read through it in a year if you read roughly 3 chapters every day. I like this version because it's easy to read and understand, but it's not so contemporary that the meaning is lost. Of course, there are many study Bibles available and I encourage you to use any version that you like best. I recommend this one because it's the one I prefer.

So there you have my 5 recommendations for daily devotional readings. I plan to offer more entries in the future on books in other genres that I've read and enjoyed and, of course, I'll share any new reads that I come across as well. It's one more way for me to expand the scope of this blog. As if I don't cover everything that comes to my mind anyway! :)

That's all today. Happy Friday to you, and I hope you have a great weekend.

Bye!

Who Needs a Holiday Detox?

12/27/2012

 
What is holiday detox, you ask? Well readers, it's that period immediately following Christmas when you're so tired and burned out that you can't motivate yourself to do anything. The house is a mess and you don't care. The "to do" list is growing, and you say to hell with it. You're worn out from celebrating with all the family, food, fun, presents, and to do of the holidays and you want to hibernate in bed for, oh, the rest of the winter to recover.

Be honest, who's there? Has anybody else had a wee bit of a problem motivating themselves to do things they don't want to do?

I know I am. I'm Christmased out. The holidays are nice, but it's time for them to move along out of here. I fully believe that the days between Christmas and New Year's Day are a time when the world needs to back off and let us be lazy, just for a little while. We need some time to ourselves before we get back to the grind. We need a break to rest and recuperate from the heavy activity of the holidays. We need to drop out for a while and tend to our own wants and needs. And that's not a bad thing. In fact, we probably need it more often than just post-holidays. We need to take time to ourselves regularly. If we work ourselves to death, we'll eventually break down and then we won't be good to anybody.

I think that's one good resolution to make for the new year - to take more time out for yourself. I know a lot of people would say that's selfish and rude, but I'd counter that those accusers aren't truly in touch with themselves and need to take this opportunity to get in balance themselves. (Or they're selfish jerks that think everybody in the world should be their handservant and their attitude needs correcting - but that's one for another entry.) If there's one truth I've seen this holiday season, it's that the world isn't going to give you a break. It will work you to death and wear you down to nothing. It's our responsibility to keep life in balance, and to work things out for the best. We have to be aware of what's going on and what we have, and to stay alert and in balance. To do that, it's necessary for us to say "no" to the demands of the world every now and then and tend to our personal needs. The best way to do that is to take regular time outs. And the world won't give them to us, so we have to take them. I say resolution #1 is to take what we need to be our best, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Block out time to yourself that's not open to anybody. Setting boundaries isn't wrong.  In fact, it's the only way to achieve confidence and to have balance in your life.

So go ahead and take a break - God knows, you need it. And make that a habit in the future, while you're at it. ;)

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

The Holiday Wazzup Letter!

12/23/2012

 
Dear Friends:

We hope this digital letter finds you safe, healthy, happy, and enjoying a wonderful holiday season. In the spirit of the annual holiday letter, I thought it would be fun to share some of the highlights of the past year with you.

I know, this is a blog. You've been keeping up. But for the sake of those that don't like to log in twice a week for my ramblings, well, here's a summary:

Rick just wrapped up a 3 year term on church council at Mt. Tabor. He was heading up the IT committee and did a great job updating the website (which was his major project for his first year on council) and with keeping up staff technology needs. It did get to be a bit of a challenge this year, though. We lost both of our pastors this year - the head pastor left for a higher position with the Synod in March, and the associate pastor left to head up a congregation in Charleston, which is where he's from. It was tough losing them - and then major changes at Rick's job drastically altared his work situation, which has required more overtime work and made serving a bit more challenging. But he stuck in there and was determined to see his term through. We're very proud of him for hanging in there despite the challenges of the past few months, and for all he's done for the church. You can check out the church website that he designed at www.mttaborlutheran.org .

Unfortunately, I had to quit both of my church committees. I had always planned to step down from the IT committee when Rick's term ended, but major changes in my own work situation and my writing picking up cut significantly into my spare time for volunteer activities. There are some things and events that I do hope to continue participating in, but right now being on a standing committee isn't something that's practical for me. It's a shame, too, because I enjoyed it and hated to give it up. Maybe in another season of life.

My work has picked up with additional duties. I'm now working with 4 licensure programs, and recent staff shortages have put more of a burden on remaining staff. I do finally have a window office, which is good (although I got the workload that came with it), and I'm also required to travel twice a year for the landscape architect program. Last year I attended the spring meeting in late February in Miami, and the national meeting in September in San Francisco. That trip to Miami was the first time I've ever flown! It's not bad, either. And while I'm not a big fan of travel, well, I'm hanging in there to see how it works out. The next meeting up is the regional meeting in Scottsdale, Arizona in March. We'll see. That's all I can say for now. Overall the job is good, although it has been very stressful lately. Our workload usually peaks in December (exam deadlines, plus people in a rush to get licensed to get projects in the new year), and being down a person has been hard. Hopefully, we'll fill that open position soon and things will level out. I'm off work until January 2, so hopefully some time with family, friends, and at home with Rick and the birds will do me some good.

My writing is also making progress. I published my second fiction novel, Anywhere But Here, through Whiskey Creek Press in April. They offered me a contract for my third fiction novel, a sci-fi apocolyptic novel titled Splinter, last summer. I'm already working on two writing projects now that I hope to wrap up in the spring. One is another mystery novel titled Move. It's about a young woman that unknowingly makes a deal with a djinn (genie), but unfortunately his help is rather radical and leads to more problems than solutions. The other is a non-fiction book titled Feathered Frenzy. It's basically a "quick reference guide" to give people tips on making their home and lifestyle bird-friendly. And believe it or not, I ALREADY have an idea for my next project. That one is still in a very early brainstorming stage. I'm not even considering working on that one more until I get my two current projects finished. I'm building an audience and working on many promotional things for my published novels. It's slow work, but worth it. I enjoy writing and I think going the "independent author" route was the right choice - especially with the traditional route going into decline as e-publishing picks up. I hope I hit the e-book wave at just the right time!

The birds are doing well. They'll be doing their own Christmas letter to you on their blog over at http://conurecorner.weebly.com soon. Santa has big plans for them and I think we're going to have three very happy birdies in a couple of days!

Our families are doing well. Mom and Dad are staying busy, as usual. Mom had surgery for carpral tunnel last summer and I tell you, that's the fastest surgery recovery I've ever seen! She was back up and running in no time! Dad is still working. Retirement talk comes up from time to time, but no definite plans or timeline yet. I tell you, those design professionals - they love their work and don't like to retire! Stephen and Nicole are doing well too. Stephen's still keeping them straight as a department head at Public Safety, and Nicole is working at home in medical transcription. She graduated from a medical management program in the spring, but unfortunately she had to have surgery for diverticulitis shortly after graduation, so that was an unexpected hiccup in her life. But she's doing fine now and moving forward again.

Rick's parents are also doing ok. You know his father has dementia, so there are good days and bad days - that's just how it goes with that. They joined the Methodist church up the road last month. Our nieces and Rick's sister and brother-in-law are also doing well. We just got back from our Christmas visit with them in Greenville this morning. They stay busy with work, school, and activities - much like all of us.

And yes, in case any of you are wondering, I did complete my New Year's resolution of reading through The Bible again this year. I actually finished it in September!

Well, that's pretty much it. We are truly blessed and thank God every day for all that He has done for us and allowed us to do for others. We hope all of you are doing well and that life is being good to you. You know that everybody is welcome to visit this website and blog. I strive to update it at least twice a week. Some people have themes for their blogs and while the theme of this website is my writing, the blog isn't limited to that. In fact, I believe all of life inspires my writing, and this blog is open to anything and everything happening in life. Feel free to read, share, and pass it along to anybody interested, whether it's family, friends, readers, other writers, or anybody that's interested in how one writer's life inspires her tales!

Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season and that your new year is filled with joy, peace and prosperity.

God bless and best wishes,

Rick and Sherri

The Ultimate Fail?

12/20/2012

 
Did you know that I started out as a Christian inspirational writer – and failed?

It’s true. And by the way yes, I feel like a special kind of loser to fail at writing Christian books and devotions. Of all things – you think you’re doing a good, right thing and manage to screw it up anyway. Wow, I had to be a special kind of idjit to manage that, right?

Well, maybe not. As it turns out, God has plenty of preachers, teachers, and inspirational writer’s out there. And really, my style is too straight-forward and in your face to really speak to tender souls. It took me a few years to discover it, but it turns out I’m better at working “in the trenches,” side by side with regular folks, and my personality and knack for weaving a tale do fit in better with the fiction market. Truth be told, I like writing fiction better anyway. It’s more challenging, but it’s also a lot more fun. I love these stories. I turn them over in my mind all the time, trying to create just the right characters and put them in just the right world for the plot I have. Once it’s written, I wonder how they’d react to my world. I project them into real life and try to flesh them out and plop them back in the story with a little more meat on their bones. My world rattles and I make their world shake. It’s fun. It’s exciting. There’s nothing like it!

I’ve also found that my fiction work is received much better. It seems people are more receptive to a story when they’re free to take it and fit it in their own world; and that’s fine. I’d say that’s what writing fiction is all about – giving them glimpses of your world and letting them fit it in their own in the best way possible. A great story takes you other places, but imagination based on the reader’s world allows each one to see it differently. Readers have amazed me with their comments on some of the things they saw in my stories; things I didn’t even think about but they were able to see it because of their own experiences. Fiction is as much creative work for the reader as it is for the writer, and in a way that makes it a cooperative effort. Non-fiction tells it to you and you have to take it as is. Fiction opens a range of possibilities and allows the reader to run with it to places that you as a writer didn’t even dream possible. It opens the mind. It opens eyes, not just to your world but to the details of their own that they might miss. A good story lives on after the last page is clicked or turned and follows you back into reality. It makes you see things differently. It makes you imagine more. 

So yes, I failed as a Christian writer but that doesn’t mean it was a total failure. I did learn a lot about writing and the publishing industry, so I went into my fiction forays with a great deal of background knowledge and was able to succeed at that much faster than it even took me to find a break in non-fiction. And I took that knowledge to a place where I do belong. Because truth isn’t limited to a genre. It comes through all places. 
 
That’s all today. Happy Friday tomorrow. Have a great weekend. 
 
Bye!

The Free Will Paradox

12/17/2012

 
In the wake of that horrible tragedy on Connecticut, I think we're jumping at shadows. What do I mean?

People are saying we need gun control, but that's not it. In fact, I think the uncertainty of knowing who might be carrying keeps more tragedies from happening. Have you noticed that the worst shootings happen in places where carrying concealed weapons is banned? Why? Because only the law abiding people aren't packing there. They disarm like they're supposed to, and the criminals know there's nobody there that will put a bullet between their eyes. Call me crazy, but I think we're coming at this backwards. Instead of disarming, I say we need to arm more. If concealed carry were allowed more places, I bet the element of uncertainty over who might shoot back would cause a decrease in these tragedies. Maybe. Maybe not. They would be more uncertain of their odds, anyway.

People say we need to bring God back in the schools. I won't deny that I'd certainly like to see religion brought back in the schools, but the fact is that there's no law against teaching children about God at home. If we call this a lack of morals, then the blame can't be on a system that's banned it for 30 years before we had this problem. Take that blame to the root of the matter: the home.

People say we need mental health reform. Here again I'll agree that's a need, but we also need to remember that the field of mental health is still relatively young. Compared to other sciences, it's barely out of it's infancy. There's a lot that can be helped, but there's also a lot we still don't know. Having known a lot of people struggling with depression, I can tell you there's a lot of trial and error in getting the medication "just right" to keep it controlled. It usually takes an adjustment period - and I know this is true of medications for other conditions too, but it seems it's a bigger struggle when dealing with mental health issues than it is with other medical conditions. Or from what I've seen it is, anyway. And often it takes months or even years to correctly diagnose things because one symptom can be a sign of five different disorders, and it takes time to pin things down.

You know what the real problem is? Free will. We all have a right to choose and unfortunately, that means that some will choose to abandon morals and ethics and to do what they feel over what's right. It's been a problem since the beginning of time. I heard someone on TV say "elementary schools should be safe!" Folks, the whole WORLD should be save. We should be living in Eden. None of us should have to live in fear of ANYTHING. And yet we do, all the time. We always have. It began even before time, when Satan fell. God gave man the greatest gift of free will, and, well, it didn't take long for that to go to heck.

Blame it on what you will. Blame it on Eve, or Adam, or the devil, or even God for giving it to us. The bottom line is that it is what it is. God loved us enough to give us free will and give us the choices to led to the world we've got.

I remember an episode of Supernatural a few seasons ago when Castiel said "free will is God's greatest gift - and just enough rope to hang yourself." I believe that's the most accurate way to put it. Free will is our greatest gift. The problem is; we don't always know what to do with it. And unfortunately, those that choose to hang usually put other necks in the noose with them. Connecticut is a perfect example of that. One man's choice to cause chaos denied twenty children the chance to grow up. It's beyond insanity. It's still, days later, incomprehensible.

Like I said yesterday, I can't justify it. I can only say to be honest with the questions, frustrations and anger. Honest anger is greater than fake faith anytime. 

I will say that the free will paradox is something I've pondered a lot the last few days. It is mind boggling. We say how can this kind of evil be in the world, but yet there's still good and beauty here too. For everyone that causes chaos, there's a peacemaker. For all that's ugly, there's something beautiful. For all that hurts, there is healing. Every struggle can build strength. Every doubt can build faith. Every trial can be a step toward victory. It takes time. It takes work - more work than we think we can ever do. And it takes faith - more faith that we can muster on our own. But most of all, it takes the honesty to admit that we don't have all the answers, and the courage to decide that we will have faith and do what is right even if we don't understand why. And that's the hardest thing of all to do.

It's heavy stuff folks; there's no doubt about that. I don't think that now is the time to jump to action, though. We have a lot to process and acting in emotion usually leads to mistakes. What we need is to grieve. What we need is to heal. What we need is something good to remind us that all hope is not lost. The world is still turning. It's not over yet.

And what do you know - it's Christmas, the celebration of the arrival of the Messiah. Who knows? Perhaps the reminder of earth's greatest miracle, of time to celebrate with family and friends, is exactly what we need right now.

Maybe.

That's all today. Take care.

Bye!

Here Comes the Chaos

12/16/2012

 
As if the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School Friday morning weren't bad enough, apparantly there are some in Newton, Connecticut that want to keep bringing the chaos as a Catholic church in the community received a death threat for their noon mass today. Fortunately, Yahoo News reports there was no incident and the church was evacuated, but it's still a disturbing reminder that there are people out there that want to do nothing but cause chaos and keep people in a state of paranoia and hysteria during a time that's supposed to be about forgiveness, celebration, and peace.

It's sick, I know. It's tragic and incomprehensible to even fathom what those families are going through. They were preparing for Christmas and now they're planning funerals - something that's too much for most of us to even think about, and we wonder how they can possibly live through this. And the #1 question on most minds is "how could God allow such an awful thing to happen?"

As a Christian, I'll tell you the truth: I don't know. And I won't even try to justify or explain it either, because I'm not afraid to admit that I have absolutely no clue why this was allowed to happen. Honestly, I can't imagine how this tragedy could work toward any kind of good, now or even in the long term. How could the senseless death of 20 children be justified? How is that possible? I don't know.

Really, that's a conflict that many Christian's face, although many won't admit it. You can't justify faith, and when it comes to situations like this when you don't have the answer, I'm afraid that even many  believers have too much pride to admit that they don't have all the answers and they can't explain why they choose to maintain a trusting faith in God when the truth is that they struggle with fear, doubts, and our own lack of understanding. They say "it is well with my soul," but I have yet to meet a person that's ok with any old thing that happens. "Whatever - praise God anyway!" is something I hear a lot from the mouth but I've NEVER seen in practice.

Here's my take on it: I know there's a big picture and this is part of it. I know God is grieved and will comfort the families in whatever way necessary, but I don't know why He let it happen. We aren't going to know that "big picture" this side of Heaven and for that reason I say: It's not alright. No, it isn't. It's evidence of the sin and imperfection of this world. It's tainted creation. I remember reading in one of C.S. Lewis' books that man was not created to die, so the very fact that we do as a result of sin is unnatural. Sin is unnatural. Bad things are unnatural. This world wasn't created for it, and yet everything got screwed up and God decided to let us keep on going anyway - to offer salvation through Christ, but we still have to do our time in this world, that teeters on the balance of the joy of creation and the chaos of sin. It's completely mucked up, and I'm putting that mildly because I try to keep this a PG-13 blog. So no, I don't say it's alright because it isn't. Suffering is NEVER alright. And yes, I know the paradox arguement that we wouldn't appreciate joy if we didn't know suffering but in the case of 20 dead children - yea, shove that arguement. Nobody wants to hear it. There is  no justification for it.

You know what I say? If you're confused, admit it. If you're mad, go ahead and say it. Yell and scream at God if you need to. Tell Him where it's at. He can take it. And frankly, He would rather you get mad and just let it rip then lie and say "ok, whatever, you lead the way." I think you come through these shattering trials a lot better if you're honest enough to say "hey God, this sucks! It's Festivus for the Rest of Us. I've got a lot of problems and You're gonna hear about it!"

Go ahead and do it. It's not a dare and I'm not speaking in jest. Because above all the chaos, beyond all the madness, God is love. That's why He let us go on and chose Salvation over abandonment. Because sometimes life sucks, but He still loves us and the creation He made. He still wants us. And nothing you say or do will make Him stop loving you. So go ahead and yell and scream. He can take it. In fact, I believe He'd be glad you trusted enough to tell Him the truth. So let it rip.


I'd also like to say one more thing. This is awful, and it's no secret that people are crazy and lunatics are everywhere. No doubt, our mental health system is in need of drastic reform because things like this just keep happening - but I dealt with that particular issue after the massacare at the movie theater in Colorado last summer, and there's no need to digress. But please try to remember that there is still good out there. I heard the story of the  mother that told her child that if she was scared to look for the helpers because the helpers are always there. That's absolutely true. God did allow this to happen, but He also made sure there were people there to help. That there were healers and protectors and leaders around that could be there and guide those that were lost, confused, or hurt. It might be hard to see, but good is out there. There are still people around that want to do what's right and to help others any way they can. Look for their light in this darkness.

Ok, that's my soapbox speech for the day. No doubt, it's been a crazy few days. I pray we can all heal and come to some sort of resolution to this, even if it's a unity in our grief and confusion now and in the days to come.

Pray for those families, folks. They need all the help they can get and while we can't all be there for them, collective prayers could be the most powerful help for them now.

Have a good start of the week, folks. Take care and be careful out there.

Bye!

The Inspiration Behind Anywhere But Here

12/14/2012

 
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Jana Lanning battles the demon of depression – literally! That’s the tag line from my latest mystery novel titled Anywhere But Here. Today, I’d like to tell you a little more about it. 

I find it interesting that people never ask me if I’ve ever suffered from depression. I’m not sure why, because they’ve asked me plenty of questions about whether I  experienced any of the things in my other novels, but this is a question I’m never asked. Maybe they know me well enough to know the answer to that question. Or maybe because even now, in the 21st century, there’s still a stigma around depression that causes people to avoid discussing it directly or speaking of it in hushed whispers and round-about terms. It’s funny that you can do a web search  on “depression” and get tens of thousands of hits, but open conversation on the topic is still taboo. I still share the story about how I shut down a conversation on depression medications several years ago when I was asked what antidepressants I was on and I replied “none, I don’t have depression.” The entire conversation – which I found interesting because it was the first time I ever heard it openly discussed – shut down immediately. Three people finally opened up, but finding out there was one person present that didn’t face the same struggles stopped it cold. I was very disappointed in that, because I probably learned more about depression listening to that one conversation than I did during all fours of my undergraduate program in psychology. And such a golden opportunity hasn’t happened again.

I think that discussion was the catalyst for Anywhere But Here. I realized that lots of people suffer, but they fear talking about. I’ve personally known many people that struggled with depression, and they’ve been willing to talk to me privately about their struggles on many occasions. When I got the idea for this book, I approached many of them to ask about their struggles (including some of the ones who’s conversation I accidentally shut down) and they were willing to talk to me and answer any questions I had – but were explicitly clear that I was not to divulge their identity or to publically acknowledge that I even had the conversation at all in any way, shape or form. But if you’re writing a fictionalized account, they all said, then go for it and I hope people will read it and learn more about this disease. 

I decided to go for it. The idea about a young woman who’s life plan falls apart is certainly a practical idea. Establishing yourself as an adult after leaving school isn’t easy, and don’t we all go through those seasons where an anvil is taken to our perfect life and we’re left to reassemble the pieces? Of course we do, and I knew these were things that everybody could relate to. The lead into depression is a natural result of such times, because if you have the disorder then it’s times like these that bring on the attacks.

Jana Lanning is a fictional character. There’s no Palmetto Beach, South Carolina and nothing that happened in that book is a reflection on any real events, people, or places in my life or anybody elses’ life that I personally know. But I believe the struggle she faces is universal. We all have those times when we can’t win, and we have to learn that the only one that can pick us back up is ourselves. Superheroes only exist in comic books and movies and television shows based on comic books. When it comes to reality, we are responsible for our own life and for finding the strength to fight the battles and bring forth victory. Other people can’t do it for us, and it’s dangerous to depend on others to hold you up or to be responsible for your happiness. They have their own responsibilities and will tend to that first – as well they should – and that doesn’t always work to our advantage. It’s up to us to take everything that happens in life and work it to it’s best in our own life. 

Depression is tough because it tends to blind people to personal responsibility. They’re so down that they feel they need a hand getting up, but often they can’t see it when it comes. I recently read a quote on Twitter attributed to Mark Twain: “Opportunity is often missed because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” That’s 100% truth. We have to work for everything. We have to work to take care of ourselves and our responsibilities and when something goes wrong, we have to work to make it right. This is what makes the struggle so much harder for those with depression. The energy they have has been sucked up by the demon of
depression, and they don’t know how to rally to find what they need to work their way out of the pit. 

The good news is that they can win. That’s the theme of this book. By personifying depression as a demon, I wanted to show that it is a living force at work against the mind, but it can be fought and beaten. You don’t have to live with it. You don’t have to submit to it. You don’t have to accept it as a way of life. But you do have to stand up and fight it – perhaps over and over, because it’s never cured, but it can be kept at bay if you how to handle it when it rears it’s ugly head. This demon, like all others, only has dominion over you if you allow it to rule your life. 

In closing, I’d like to offer advice to those of you that don’t have depression, but have loved ones that do. It took me a long time to learn that there was nothing I could do to make it go away for them, or to make them happy. This is a battle that must be fought alone, and that’s a tough thing to accept when somebody you love and care about is struggling. Two things I can tell you about this: The first is that once I did consult with a therapist about
supporting people with depression, and the thing they stressed is not to accept depression as an excuse for anything or to shield people from the consequences of their actions. This is a battle they must face, but they’ll never learn how to defeat it if they don’t realize what its’ costing them. So don’t accept it as an excuse and don’t pass things off as “that’s just the depression talking/acting” because that keeps them incapacitated to this demon by passing a judgment on them that they don’t need to be subject to. They can recover and you need to act on the truth that they can find that strength and do it if they rally to beat it. The second thing is to keep on being yourself. Don’t put on airs, handle then with kid gloves, or walk on eggshells. Sometimes the best inspiration is to have the security of knowing the truth and learning to rely on it. Let them know you for who you really are and that they can count on unwavering support and stability in you.  

It took tough breaks for Jana Lanning to take control of her life, and she certainly didn’t catch any breaks. The people around her expected her to step up and be responsible and even her friends went on with their lives and made it clear that while they were concerned and wanted to support her, they also had their own struggles to deal with. One interesting thing about this book is the question of who are the villains? The demon played the clash between expectation and reality to put Jana where he wanted her, but what about the people he used? Were they selfish people, or a product of the uncertain circumstances; people with their own struggles to get by? There was a lot of instability and uncertainty in the situations that arose, and people often jumped to what was easy over what was right. I’d love to hear feedback from readers on how they view Jana and the other characters in this book because it’s such a parallel to real life. 
 
I hope that Anywhere But Here is a book that reaches and touches many people, because depression is a demon that touches us all. If you’re interested in reading it, check out the home tab on this website for links to purchasing it through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Whiskey Creek Press. 

That’s all today. Enjoy your weekend and the Holiday Season!

Bye!


 




Keeping It Together

12/9/2012

 
Rick and I made the somewhat unsettling realization today that time's up. Oh, there are 2 weekends before Christmas, but both of those weekends are full of plans. Time's up on the gift buying and holiday  prep for us. From here on out, all we can do is ride it out - and squeeze in the last of the "to do's" on lunch hours or any other brief intervals that we find a break.

I think this is the case with a lot of people. The second week of December is when "crunch time" hits. People are in a hustle to get things done, everything piles up, and stress levels skyrocket to astronomical levels. I look for a lot of traffic and accidents on the Interstates as people hustle to get those loose ends tied up before gearing up for those holiday festivities, be it last minute meetings, a hustle to knock out the shopping, rushing to holiday parties, or making preparations or travel arrangements for family gatherings. No doubt, some will hold out until the last minute, hoping for a Christmas miracle that seems to elude them every year but for some reason they believe this will be the year it works (or they believe that Mayan Doomsday crap and think the world is gonna end before Christmas, so why bother?).

I'm right in there in the thick of it with you, folks, and I'm here today to share some tips I've learned from 37 years of Christmases to help you manage that load and get things done without anxiety attacks, pulling hair, or drinking an entire liquor store. This year instead of panicing, why don't you try:

1.    Letting go of unnecessary things. Is there something in your life that you can put on hiatus until January? If so, put it on hold.I usually don't work on new writing projects during the month of December. It's just too frustrating to try to hammer writing time into my schedule when it's already packed with so many other things. I still do promotional things for my published works, but that's not as time consuming as writing, rewrites, edits, proofreads, etc. Are there any projects or volunteer activities that you can shelve for a month? It might be worth it to free up your schedule - and your mind.

2.     Making plans, not excuses. I know some people who spend so much time making excuses for not doing what they're supposed to do that they could have just gotten it done in less time. What a waste. Stop procrastinating and rehearsing excuses for why things didn't get done. Take some time to sit down with your schedule, make a list of what needs to be done, and organize a schedule to do as much as you reasonably can. This is actually how I manage my "to do" list. It's amazing how quickly you can knock that list out if you commit to doing 2 things on it a day, and take advantage of open time that you find.

3.   Taking occasional breaks. Don't jam pack your schedule. Have at least 30 minutes to an hour a day that's free for you to do what you please. You're going to burn out if you don't have some time each day to relax and recharge your batteries. Likewise, plan some activities you enjoy in there, even if they don't have anything to do with the holidays. Rick and I, for example, already have our tickets to see The Hobbit next Saturday. That's going to be our break from the work/home/family/friends/volunteer/whateverelseneedsourattention demands of life next weekend.

4.    Getting enough sleep. A lot of people tout the benefits of getting up extra early or staying up late to get things done, when there are fewer distractions. I've found that this might be beneficial every once in a while, but as a regular part of life it's counterproductive. You aren't as effective if you're tired, and you get more done if you're well rested and energetic. Likewise, it's better for your health because skimping on sleep actually makes you more prone to catching illnesses (and plenty are going around). Go to bed on time every night and get up on time every morning. Keeping a steady daily schedule is the best thing you can do. I've found that I get much more accomplished during the day if I get my 7-8 hours of sleep every night.

5.     Rewarding yourself for accomplishments. I know time and money are tight this time of year, but try to find ways to reward yourself for getting major things done every now and then. Buy yourself a little something when you finish the holiday shopping that you're sure nobody else will get you. Take a couple of hours off to read, engage in a hobby, play a game, or watch TV when you get the Christmas cards written. Take time out to surf online media or call a friend when you get the house cleaned. Take a break at work when you get a major thing wrapped up to take a short walk. Find small ways to reward youself for a job well done and you'll find yourself motivated to stay the course and cross the finish line to a great holiday.

Yes, it's crunch time folks, but that doesn't mean we have to be crushed under the weight of all that needs to be done. With some self-discipline and planning we'll make it. Because Christmas is coming on December 25 whether you're ready or not. The best way to be ready when it arrives is to prepare and work steadily toward the goals for that day ahead of time.

That's all today. Take care and I hope you have a great start to the new week.

Bye!

The Poinsettia Delimma

12/6/2012

 
Picture
What’s wrong with this picture? To you, probably nothing. To me, a lot.  Now, finally, I’m going to tell you why I have a rather complex issue with red poinsettias. It’s a story that began on this very night 25 years ago. 

My grandmother died on December 6, 1987. Big whoop, I hear you say, everybody loses grandparents. I mean, Rick’s grandmother died on December 21, 2000 and he has no issues of this type, so what’s the deal? I’ll tell you what the deal is. First of all, Nana’s death was the first major loss I suffered in my life. Other elderly relatives had passed away, of course – great aunts and great uncles, but at age 12 this was my first brush with death taking somebody close to me. And I was close to my maternal grandparents. It wasn’t the “see you a few times a year and at the holidays” grandparents. They lived next door to us. My brother and I had no babysitter because we stayed with them if we weren’t at a friend’s house. We were close to Nana and Granddaddy and this was the first time I experienced the
death of somebody that was a regular part of my life. 

Those are things you deal with over time. Of course I still miss her (and Granddaddy, who died less than 2 years later), but by and large I have moved on from that. I realize the world has changed a lot and they’d be miserable in it now. I realize they’d want everybody to go on living, to be happy, and to have the best life we can until we meet again (but hopefully not too soon). I thought I had this covered and was good, until 5 years ago, when Rick and I moved in the home we built and he asked me to get some red poinsettias for the house. We finally have a nice house, he said, so let’s fix it up right. So off I went to dutifully get them and once I was at the store, I panicked. There they were, blood red and mocking me. I got a bit short winded. My heart raced. I couldn’t do it. I bought a white one instead. Rick looked at me funny. 

“It’s pretty,” he said, “but I thought you liked red. Didn’t they have any?”

“Yes they did, but I didn’t want it.”

“Why?”

I found myself face to face with an issue I thought was deal with. See, when Nana died, people sent red poinsettias. Lots of red poinsettias. Our house was full of them. Granddaddy’s house was full of them. And frankly, for years I couldn’t recall much about her funeral until I saw that huge rack of red poinsettias in my face
and all of a sudden, it came back to me. Obviously, I had blocked a lot of the painful memories of that bad Christmas and it all came back to me – and continued to, every time I saw red poinsettias. 

But wait, that’s not all …

For three years, I let it go. Time, I decided, would heal, and it was just one thing. But two years ago, I went through some major life transitions and decided that while I was doing some life and spiritual “housecleaning, then it was time for me to do something about this too. My life was being rewritten, and I determined that if
I was going to change my life, then I was going to do it right and make the best of all things, and this was definitely a chink in my armor that I allowed for far too long. It was silly, really. I grew up. I have a good life. But it seemed there was a 12 year old inside me that was still hurting, and that had to be dealt with. I refused to be held captive to my past. That’s just stupid. So I had a brilliant idea. I hadn’t been to the cemetery where my grandparents were buried since their funerals. I needed to go out there, I thought, and pay my final respects. It was time to face their loss as an adult. I was driving by while running some work related errands, so I decided I’d make a quick stop and get this done. So one cold day two years ago, I made my first stop to the church cemetery in a very, very long time. I found their burial plots, took a deep breath, and …

 I had nothing. I mean, not one thing to say. I was looking around that cemetery and it hit me: These people are done with life and this world. They don’t belong here. Their labors are over and now they rest and are in glory. They don’t care. It’s not their problem and there’s no wisdom or help here (as it seems our church members
aren’t ones for epitaphs, and the ones they had weren’t *ahem* brilliant parting words). The world belongs to the living and it’s up to us to make things right and keep on going the best we can. 

So I dealt with it the best I could, and left feeling much better. The problem is, there were some side effects. I was no longer plagued with grief and bad memories. They were soon replaced with something more … bizarre. 

I left my grief at the cemetery, but the problem is that I picked up something that I didn’t realize followed me. Since that time, I’ve been plagued with recurring dreams of walking in a cemetery. I’m looking for my grandparent’s burial site, but I can’t find it because there aren’t any names on the tombstones. After wandering around for a while, I get pissed off, say “to hell with this, I’m leaving!” and wake up. It’s not often – maybe every few months, but it most recently happened night before last. I always wake up from that dream pissed off and frustrated. Seriously? Again? And after 2 years of searching for meaning, I finally decided its sole purpose is to mock me and make me mad. I mean, geeze. If paying my respects causes my mind to do wacky stuff like that, I might as well skip the trip to the cemetery, get a cheeseburger basket at the Fat Boys down the road, and do a drive-by wave at the graveyard! It’s easier, less trouble, and I get a good meal out of it, right?

Then I visualize myself driving by the cemetery with a French fry in my mouth waving and saying “hi guys, it’s all good!” as I zoom along Highway 1 with other people gawking at whatever-the-hell-I’m-doing and I laugh at my own insanity. So now, every time I see red poinsettias, I think of cheeseburgers, French fries and seeing how fast I can drive up Highway 1, and I shake my head at … myself.

 Well, my own crazy ideas are better than sad memories and anxiety attacks, I suppose. At least my distaste for red poinsettias has settled into a more dissociated issue, but I still buy poinsettias in other colors. I have an awesome blue one in our entry way with silver bows and glitter and a white one for the office. And since Rick
and I did want a red Christmas plant for the house, I got an amaryllis. And when a red poinsettia did show up in my home, I put it on the front porch. I only have to look at it when I come home from work now. Maybe raccoons will take it. No luck there yet but hey, they may want to decorate for Christmas. Maybe? Probably not. Even the wildlife knows better than to touch that one with a 10 foot pole, it seems.

So yea, I’ve got issues but at least I’ve tried to deal with them – even if it led to more madness that I bargained for.  Cheeseburgers and a drive by wave. Hrmph. That’s a heck of a way to solve a problem but if it works …

And by the way, the reason Rick doesn’t have an issue with poinsettias is because his grandmother that died at Christmas liked carnations, so the people that sent flowers sent carnations to her funeral (they also accepted donations to the church in lieu of flowers). No poinsettias there, even though her funeral was on December 23. Well played, I say. 

That’s all today. I hope you’ve enjoyed my bizarre yet true tale of dealing with grief, myself, and the madness of life during the holiday season. 

Bye!


    Escape Reality

    By day, I'm a program assistant. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction offers an escape from the reality of day-to-day life. See how my experiences lead to creating new worlds! 

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