Hi all, sorry for the lengthy absence. I just returned from a business conference in Reston, Virginia. It's located near Washington D.C. and we spent most of our free time there. In this entry, I'd like to tell you about our adventures. 

We flew out of Columbia Metropolitan Airport at 8:05 Monday evening. All went well except a little turbulence, and it was a short flight to Charlotte-Douglas Airport. That's where the adventure began. We were fixing to take off and the co-pilots navigation computer went out. After an hour of trying to fix it, they realized it would have to be replaced. Fortunately, there was one airplane in maintenance that they had completed repairs on, and they flew us to Washington-Dulles Airport on it. We arrived three hours late, so instead of checking in around midnight, we checked into the Hyatt-Regency in Reston at 3 a.m. That was unexpected, but I'm grateful that they at least had a plane there to get us to D.C. that night. Otherwise, we would have been stuck in Charlotte until Tuesday morning, which would have really screwed our schedule up, because Tuesday was our planned day in D.C. 

Fortunately, the Lord looked out for us, and we didn't oversleep too much. We walked around Reston to get acquainted with the town center, then took the Metro into D.C. This was my first time actually in Washington D.C. I've gone by it twice - once in 1989 when I went to New York City, and once in 2003 when we went to a friends wedding outside of Baltimore, Maryland. Why did I rush by this city twice without stopping? D.C. is amazing! We spent Tuesday walking around the National Mall. We visited the Smithsonian Castle, the Air and Space Museum, the Capitol Visitor's Center, and the Library of Congress. Our favorite was the Library of Congress. It's amazing! Great exhibits, great architecture, overall it's just awesome! That's a definite "must re-visit" on my list. We then walked to the Washington Monument, but by that time nightfall was approaching, we were footsore from walking all day, and getting by on 6 hours of sleep was catching up with us. We took the Metro back to Reston, walked around there for a bit more, and that was our day. 

My conference started on Wednesday. I got out a little after 4, but we decided to stay in Reston that day. The town center is very nice. It was designed by urban planners, and it's very easy to get around. There's shopping, food, and even a nice movie theater there. We did make it to supper and around the center, but it started to drizzle rain, so we headed back to the hotel and stayed in for the night. It was just as well - we needed some rest after our late flight on Monday night/Tuesday morning and a full day in D.C. on Tuesday. 

The conference continued on Thursday with a full day of meetings. Rick found a "Monuments by Moonlight" tour in D.C. that takes you around on a trolley with three stops. We were very lucky and got the last 2 tickets for the 8:00 tour. We jumped right on the Metro to Union Station where the tour departed, grabbed a quick supper, and were off.I highly recommend this tour! We got to see so much that I can't even remember it all here. They drove us around the U.S. Capitol, the Washington Monument and National Mall, and the Jefferson Memorial. They made stops at the Roosevelt Monument and the Martin Luther King, Jr. monument, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Iwo-Jima monument near Arlington (they did drive us by Arlington Cemetery. At night. Why do people think taking a tour of a graveyard at night is awesome? Oh well, that's just me being like that). Anyway, it was a great tour and we had a good (albeit somewhat silly) guide that was a D.C. native, so he knew the landmarks and the history they represented really well. If you go to D.C., do the Monuments by Moonlight tour. It's great.  

The conference concluded Friday, and I actually got out over an hour ahead of schedule. We decided to take advantage of it and go into D.C. again. We saw the Museum of American History, and then went to visit a few of the monuments that our tour didn't cover: the World War II Memorial, the Korean War Memorial, and the Vietnam Memorial. I must admit that the Korean and Vietnam Memorials were overwhelming. Beautiful tributes that were very well done. On the walk back, I got my first good look at The White House. We drove by on the tour, but I wasn't able to see it really well, but Friday we seemed to find a better vantage point. We never went really close to it, but that's ok. I saw it, and that was good enough for me. 

Yesterday was our return. We left Washington-Dulles at 1:35 p.m. and arrived back in Columbia just before 5 p.m. Both the flight from Dulles to Charlotte and Charlotte to Columbia went without a hitch and were right on time. As you can imagine, we've spent the time since our return settling back in: unpacking, getting Zack and Chloe back home and settled in, doing 5 loads of laundry, getting groceries, downloading pictures, etc. 

All in all, it was a great trip. I think Rick and I both needed it. I definitely feel that it's brought me back to life. Not only did I get to see Washington D.C., but the conference was really good too. Our focus was on maintaining relevancy in the future with changing demographics. Lots of good discussions, and it was great to see my counterparts from other states again. Sometimes it's good to get out of the office and work with different people. You get great insights and a lot of good ideas, and can share what you know with others. I'd say that I enjoyed this trip just as much as I enjoyed the last conference I attended in Scottsdale, Arizona in February 2013. Both were awesome experiences. 

So that's what I've been up to this past week, and now it's time to get back to it tomorrow. It was a great trip, but it's also good to be home. One thing about traveling is that you get a chance to see and experience great new things, but they also remind you of why you love the comforts of home too. 

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week. 

Bye!

The bottom line to it all is that it's best to live one day at a time, and to do the best you can with what you've got. Life is a journey, and all you can do is roll with whatever part of it you're on. Whether it's the long, slow times when progress is so slow as to be non-existent, seasons of head-spinning change, mountaintops or valleys, the fact remains that you are where you are and all you can do is your best. It seems to me that fixating too much on being in a season of life is a surefire path to frustration. It puts you in a mindset that might not be best for you, and can make it more difficult to manage where you're at. Best to work with the blessings you have and enjoy them along the way. You can reminisce on the seasons later. For now, live. 

I can say that the last couple of years haven't been phenomenal. Looking back, it's amazing what we've come through. At first I did realize that it seemed I'd sunk in a valley, but I'm glad I made the realization about a year ago that I was making it harder on myself by fixating on that and fretting on when is this gonna be over. I decided to take a day at a time, and you know what? The days passed with a lot less anxiety and frustration. I did what I could, when I could, and now here I am. It looks like things are  moving up now, but honestly it doesn't matter. I'm thankful to be where I am and dedicated to working with what I've got to keep things going. Good season or bad, all that really matters is that you keep moving in the right direction. 

The nature of life is motion and change, so you may as well get used to the fact that you're on a journey that doesn't end until your time on this earth does. Whether you're in the spotlight or the periphery, the mountaintop or the valley, the fertile land or the desert, just be you. Do what you can and keep rolling. I guarantee that you'll find yourself somewhere else soon enough. So don't fear. Nothing last forever. If the days are good, enjoy them fully. If they aren't, rest in the hope that they will get better. That is a fact. 

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

On the other hand, there is an awesome element to being on the periphery of things, and that’s the place where I find myself now. See, when you aren’t in the spotlight, then it really isn’t hard to get the awkward busy-bodies off your back. You just throw them nuggets of information here and there, and they’re usually satisfied. And the truth is, they likely won’t remember them anyway, because this is where the awesome comes in.

See, when you’re on the periphery, that means that the main attention is focused on the people in the spotlight. Besides keeping an eye on you to make sure you aren’t wandering too far off the reservation, they’re usually more concerned with the main event than anything you’re doing. That means that you get blessed peace and quiet, and can pretty much do what you want without interference or a bunch of “wait, what the hell are you doing?” as long as you keep showing up and looking normal when and where you’re supposed to be.

Here’s my case in point: in the past 6 weeks, I started writing a science-fiction trilogy and an exercise program. I mentioned it to people and got a polite “that’s nice,” but I can tell it’s not registering because they’re all focused on other things. Rick knows this, of course, because he lives with me and is paying attention to what I’m going. But I guarantee you that, despite nearly daily postings and frequent mentions in this blog, there will still be people out there saying “OMG, when did you do THAT!” when the trilogy gets published. They’re hearing but not listening, and because they’re focused elsewhere, I can work on it undisturbed and without interference or prying questions/eyes/probing about “what are you putting in there?” It sure beats the struggle I had writing Splinter, where I was in the spotlight of a lot of change and everybody felt it was their personal obligation to remind me of all the more important things and problems they thought I should be handling instead of writing. (Of course, all of that resistance was forgotten once it was published last November.) The Earthside Trilogy is rolling along with only the work of researching and writing while prying eyes are focused elsewhere. And that, folks, is a writer’s dream. It’s awesome!

A lot of people get frustrated when they think people aren’t paying attention to them, but I say its the best of all worlds. There’s a charm about being able to quietly go about your business without having to deal with questions or people wanting explanations, and it’s a blessing you should enjoy because they will eventually open their eyes and want to know “what you’re up to.” I’m not saying it’s a pass to do bad things. Quite the opposite, this is a perfect time to sow seeds and establish endeavors that will pay off in the future. It’s great because only those closest to you are paying attention, and they’ll support you.  And you’re free of distraction and hindrance from those that might not have such golden motives, since they’re busy interfering elsewhere. As I said in a short story I wrote this week: no people, no problem.

I intend to fully enjoy my anonymity. In fact, it’s fun. I’m looking forward to surprising people when the timing is right to claim the fruits of current labors.

That’s all today. Have a great weekend.

Bye!

Of course, there are two problems with being on the periphery. The first is that when you keep to yourself, there are people that are uncomfortable with your silence and make it their life mission to crack the nut that is you. The peril of this being is that they won't be prepared or able to handle what they find, and will make the wildest, craziest assumptions possible. Honestly, people have thought some things about me these past few months that made me wonder what planet they're from. I've said it before and I'll say it again - if you aren't used to weird out of me by now, you have an incredibly thick skull and I give up on you.

The second problem is that when you do finally peek your head back in, it's usually awkward. That, of course, being due to the insane assumptions people have made while you chose to graciously handle what was going on in your head quietly. They don't understand that you were actually granting them some grace by not dumping the mechanics of your thought/feeling process on them. Instead, you're antisocial, you're weird, you're strange, and they just don't get it.

I think it all goes back to the same fundamental problem: people are uncomfortable with grief, sadness, anger, and all of the emotions they label as "negative" that go with these major life shifts. There seems to be this expectation that if you can't dive back in the fray and be your old self in 3-10 days, then something's wrong. But actually, this points to an erroneous assumption on their part, because the truth is that peoples' patience for suffering usually has a short shelf life, and they come to a point where they want to gloss over it in 3-10 days so they can get back to better things and not be bothered by "bad feelings that drag them down." And the awkwardness they feel somehow gets projected onto you because, well, that's one of the most primal defense mechanisms and most people are really good at it. 

Frankly, I look at it from the other end of the glass. If you don't act weird and distant after something major happens, then I wonder if you're playing with a full deck. Because anything that changes your life forever (as in, you can't go back) should be a huge shift to your paradigm that takes time to process and integrate. There are some things that it's impossible to go back to your old self with. And that's ok. In fact, that's their purpose - to increase your strength and wisdom, and to make you a bigger, better person. If you crawl right back in the same old rut and don't show any signs of change, I'll suspect you're either faking normal, or you have something wrong in your own head. 

The trick I find myself handling now is discerning my own awkward from that of other people. I know for a fact that I'm not the same person I was a year or two ago, and I'm fine with that. I can learn how to handle the aspects of that coming from my own changes. But as for other people, there's not much I can do about that. They should know enough about who I really and truly am to understand how and why some things about me have changed, and that's an adjustment they'll have to make on their own. 

I just hope I've changed for the better.

That's all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend. 

Bye!

One emerging issue that I’m finding as I write Fracture is how things affect people on periphery. So often in fiction, you see how things affect the main character, but I’m writing from a range of third-person viewpoints, so you see how one event affect many people involved in the situation. It’s interesting to watch it unfold, because I’m amazing myself as I show how one event in the plot can cause three, four, or even five completely different reactions based on the character’s relationship to the person and/or event. In fact, one of the main characters that has a role that’s continuing to grow and emerge is the niece of the first ‘miracle cure’ that kicks off the novel, and how the other characters find it difficult or impossible to relate to her.

No doubt, this is a direct effect of my father-in-law’s dementia and recent passing. I was on what you’d call the “periphery” in that situation, as so many have felt compelled to remind me (even though I made no claims of a first degree affect), and having a role just on the outside gives you a unique perspective that often isn’t acknowledged. My pastor assured me that a periphery perspective is necessary and is usually appreciated in retrospect, whether other’s actively realize it or not. Whatever the case, I can safely tell you that supporting roles are as unglamorous in real life as they are in fiction, and often more difficult. I can’t count the number of times I bore silent witness, zipped up my own thoughts and observations, and swept my own issues that were obviously minor in the larger context under the rug. I can say from experience that you often feel lonely, and if you find one person that’s willing to look you in the eye and say “how are YOU doing?” then you gain a new appreciation for that person, because you have enough awareness to full well realize that they may be the only one  to see past everything else and onto the sidelines.

It can be frustrating at times, but before you logout as a “oh no, this is a woe-is-me entry,” I’m here to say that it’s not a bad place to be, either. And, in fact, there are times when you seek the loneliness of that odd place you find yourself in.  Why? Simply stated, grief is a shape-shifter that can wear the toughest of us down from any perspective, and the desert of the periphery gives you sanctuary to find where you, your perspective, and your wisdom plug in to a new reality. It shows you how bearing witness to the struggles and suffering of others fits you in with the world around you. It stretches you in new directions and opens your eyes not only to those right in front of you, but others on the sidelines and in the deserts of life. I know I’ve been surprised over the last couple of months not only as I write this novel, but how I’ve opened my eyes to things and people that I usually don’t see, and realizing how limited my own attention has been. It also gives you a place of your own to make sense of it all without pressures or complications. There's a simplicity in it. Sometimes you aren't looking to understand or put meaning to it all. Sometimes, you just want to be, so you can see how life flows around you and choose how and where you to rejoin the world as you know it.

And yes, my pastor was right. There are places where your unique perspective fits and is even appreciated. As with all things, you just have to wait for the right timing, and that timing usually comes when you least expect it. The spotlight isn’t always the place to be, and truthfully there are times when the people there probably envy the anonymity that you enjoy from the shadows in a supporting role. They do come to places where they wonder what they miss, and need you to show them. They need the comfort of somebody that can discern rational from imagined. Sometimes, it gives them strength to see you rolling right along with the world because they know that if you’re still alive and kicking, then they can be too – they can move on, and heal, and take one day at a time and build life in this new reality, because you’ve done it already and they see your path. I’m not talking about dragging them by the hair, kicking and screaming. I’m talking about being a living example. You never know who’s watching you quietly going about your day, and how it’s affecting them. Breakthroughs aren’t always big, loud things. Sometimes they’re the quiet revelations of the soul from the unlikeliest of places.

And sometimes, it’s those supporting roles that change your world. You never know. You may think your place, role, and opinion lacks merit, but it may be the very cornerstone of truth that the future is built on for more people than you realize. Just take a look around. How much would we miss if it weren’t for the ones that supported the great names and influences that got us to where we are in the world today?

You never know. That’s another thing that fiction and reality have in common. And it’s the thing that makes life most interesting.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

I just realized that I've written 21 chapters of Fracture, but I haven't shared a sample with you in a while. It's really been coming along, and I hope to hit the halfway point of the manuscript next week. In the meantime, let me catch you up on the progression of the plot. Here's chapter 6, where we find that there could be more to Kalea, our main character, than meets the eye. Enjoy!

Chapter 6

Kalea sat in a chair on the stage of the high school auditorium, surveying the area with the school principal – a stern, graying man with a perpetual scowl named Darren Henson.

“It just seems that it needs something more,” he grumped.

Kalea took a deep breath, reminding herself that the school district brought several million dollars to the company every year, so telling him to jump in the lake would be detrimental not only to her career, but her financial well being as well. Plus, she was here for an interview with a major magazine about the project. This would get national coverage, and anything that took the focus off her bloody hospital dash and back on her work was a good thing.

“You have the most state of the art theater in the region. Relax, they’ll love it. They wouldn’t be coming if they weren’t impressed.” Kalea swiped her brow and shifted in her stuffy grey and pink pantsuit. She wasn’t used to dressing this formally, and it was still too hot for this in mid-September.

“I wish they would have come this spring when we had a production, and when we’ve had more time to tweak it.”

“Mr. Henson, I can’t tweak it any more. I’ve given you all the power that the grid can give you. It passed inspection. It’s fine.”

He grunted and checked his smartwatch as the first students trickled into the auditorium. Since there wasn’t a production ready to showcase the renovated theater, they arranged to have the interview conducted and filmed onstage with the student body as the audience. Kalea was nervous about that aspect of it. She was used to speaking to small groups, and even on camera regarding larger projects, but the concept of questions from strangers that knew little or nothing about the finer points of engineering that went into the project made her stomach flip. This wasn’t exactly stuff you could “dummy down” to an audience. When it comes to technical engineering concepts, you get it or you don’t. No amount of explaining changes it.

Mr. Henson glanced at Kalea. “Relax, you’ll do fine.”

Kalea smiled weakly. “Is it that obvious that I’m nervous?”

“Yes, but it’s alright. You get used to this.” He cracked a small smile. “Besides, you’ve done a nationally televised interview. This should be a piece of cake.”

Kalea grunted away the cliché as the volume of murmuring voices grew with more students filling in the auditorium.  She fanned herself with her notes. “Maybe I should get our mechanical engineer to see about adjusting the HVAC system in here. These lights do get awfully hot.”

“I already asked. He said he’s done all he can with the electrical load too,” Mr. Henson said. “We’ll have to sweat it out.”

“I’m getting used to that,” Kalea mumbled as the magazine interviewer, a tall, thin woman with short, dark hair and striking green eyes breezed on the stage. Kalea and Mr. Henson stood to shake her hand.

“Kalea, so glad to meet you!” she bubbled, shaking Kalea’s hand so vigorously that Kalea’s black cameo earrings swung. “I’m Veronica Eddings. It’s such a pleasure to meet you and cover what other miracles you’re capable of in Modern Design Magazine!”

Kalea blushed. “I’m better at engineering than I am at running through hospital hallways, if that’s what you mean. But thanks. I’m glad for the coverage, both for the firm and for the school.” She gestured to Mr. Henson. “This is Darren Hensen, the school principal.

Veronica shook Mr. Hensen’s hand and they took their seats. “Thanks for letting me record the interview with the equipment in here. I understand this is the first time cameras on wires have been used outside an athletic facility?”

“Just in the State of South Carolina,” Kalea said, “and it did require a radical redesign of the entire area. The hope is that it will give better quality recordings by capturing a number of angles that haven’t been available at the high school level before. The first official use will be the Christmas program, but the big thing will be the school’s production of Annie Get Your Gun in April. Today’s interview will be the first live test on all of the equipment, and how well it airs on public access stations.

Veronica raised an eyebrow. “So we’ll have a television audience too?”

“No, it’s being recorded for playback on the local access channel ,” Mr. Henson said. “Obviously, we’ll want to do some editing and production work to clean it up. We want to show the public the best work we can do.”

“Of course,” Veronica said, straightening her tan skirt as she settled in the chair. “Let’s go over my plan for today’s interview. I’d like to start with the camera system and how you, Kalea, took arena camera plans to an indoor venue. Then I’d like to move on to the wireless control of lighting and stage effects systems. After that, I’ll move on to Mr. Henson’s vision for how this applies to theater productions, and an open conversation on how this has the potential to revolutionize theater design of all types in the future.”

“I’m not sure about revolutionizing design,” Kalea said. “It’s just a high school auditorium. I’m sure a lot more work needs to be done before it goes large scale.”

Veronica laughed. “You’re so modest! Kalea, that’s why I’m here – to show how you’ve revolutionized design for live action productions!”

Kalea flushed and reached down to scratch her leg, which was itching terribly.

“We’re ready to go in two minutes!” the head of the stage crew, a stocky, blonde teen with glasses, said.

Mr. Henson nodded. “Time to rock and roll.”

Kalea rolled her eyes. Was he going to ruin the interview with these stupid Earth clichés?

What? She thought. She shook off the unbidden thought and adjusted the microphone clipped to her jacket while Veronica gathered her notes and the cameraman flashed his fingers showing the final countdown to recording.

Veronica smiled brightly and stared into the center camera. “Good morning South Carolina, and welcome to Modern Design Magazine Chat Hour. I’m your host, Veronica Eddings. Today, we’re talking to Kalea Kerner and Darren Henson regarding the revolutionary upgrades they made this summer to the Riverside High School auditorium in Columbia, South Carolina.” Veronica turned to Kalea. “Miss Kerner, I’d like to open with talking about the camera system you designed especially for this space. It implements stadium style cameras on revolving wires similar to the camera systems that are used in sporting arenas. How difficult was it to take a design for outdoor use into a limited space like this?”

Kalea took a sip of water and leaned forward. “The design really wasn’t difficult with the system they already had in place.” She gestured to Mr. Hensen. “Of course, we always start with asking Principal Hensen and the leaders on the drama team what their vision is for the auditorium. They are the ones that use it regularly, so it has to be a system that they can operate and can run off the power available to the school without taking from other areas. Principal Hensen told me the primary goal with this redesign was to be able to get better recordings of productions for broadcast on local access television, streaming video reproductions, and acting samples for students that need it for a portfolio to colleges where they plan to study theater in the future. So my goal was to design a system that –“

“Was all the better to see you with,” a voice said from the audience. Everybody turned to stare at the voice coming from a stocky, red-headed young man in the center of the auditorium. He stood and pushed his way to the aisle. “That’s what we really wanted, isn’t it? We wanted people to see us better, to get more public recognition for the school, to show everybody how wonderful we are.”

“Who is that kid?” Kalea asked, squinting in the lights to focus on the man approaching the stage slowly. She noticed that his right hand was in his pocket and he seemed to be fiddling with something.

“That’s not a kid,” Mr. Hensen said, “that’s Dale Zeigler. He’s the drama coach.”

“He’s kind of young for a drama coach, isn’t he?” Veronica asked.

Mr. Hensen shrugged. “He’s been here for three years.” He pointed to Dale. “Mr. Zeigler, did you have a question for me or Miss Kerner?”

Dale laughed, his body shuddering slightly. “Why yes, I certainly do. The question is for you.” He waved his left arm around the room. “Was all of this worth selling your soul for?”

Mr. Hensen’s eyes narrowed. “I beg your pardon?”

“All this technology! All this money you spent to show everybody that we’re the best school in the state. All these reasons why you couldn’t afford to give hard working teachers and staff members a decent raise this year.”

Mr. Hensen stood and pointed at Darren. “Mr. Zeigler, that will be enough. I’m sorry you don’t agree with these changes, but we have to take a more long term approach to improving the school. You know salaries come from a different budget. This year, the school board decided to upgrade facilities. I assure you that it will lead to better compensation for employees and staff in the future. You have to be patient!”

“Be patient!” Dale said, laughing. “I have to be patient. I have to be patient while my bank account is empty. I have to be patient while I struggle to put food on the table for my kids. I have to be patient while the bank threatens to foreclose on my house. I have to be patient while my wife has an affair with an architect that flatters her with a lifestyle I can only dream of.”

“Ouch!” Kalea said. “That’s awful. Who’s this architect?”

Dale stared at Kalea with hard, green eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing does anymore.”

Kalea slumped in her chair when she realized she asked that stupid question right into the microphone. So much for not making a fool of herself yet again.

“Where is the resource officer?” Mr. Hensen asked, looking around the auditorium. “This man needs to be escorted off the property. He’s threatening the safety of the children.”

“The resource officer is indisposed, just like all of you are fixing to be!” Dale pulled a gun out of his pocket and fired a shot into the ceiling. Screams filled the room as students ducked on the floor. Dale jumped on the stage, directly in front of Kalea.

“Don’t believe the lies they sell you!” he shouted, firing a bullet directly into one of the revolving cameras that shattered on the floor in the front row. “They say it’s for the greater good? No, it’s to feed their own ego.” He waved the gun toward Kalea and Mr. Hensen. “These two will get rich while we rot at their bidding! There’s nothing in any of this for us. They don’t care about us. All they care about is keeping us under their feet so they can step on us on their way to the top. Well, no more!” He turned, pointing the gun, a silver .380, in Kalea’s face. “Say goodbye to all of your fame and fortune, witch.”

Kalea’s hand shot up and grabbed the muzzle of the gun, which sparked at her touch. Dale screamed as an electric current ran up his arm, driving him to his knees. Kalea stood up slowly, staring at Dale with hard, black eyes. “This vessel is broken. It must be purged.” Her eyes glowed silver as she bent to touch a red scar on Dale’s hand.

“No!” he screamed, grabbing Kalea’s ankle. A blue spark shot through him, knocking him back off the stage and onto the front row floor. Kalea collapsed into her chair, breathing heavily. She gulped and pulled herself up straight in the chair, looking at the audience staring at her in terror.

“What just happened?” she asked, and passed out.

Chloe did a beautiful 9-11 tribute over at the Niblets blog, and I’d like to build on it with my own observations. Today, it’s hard to believe it’s been 13 years since the world changed, and she’s absolutely right about one thing: we can never go back. I can’t imagine getting on a flight now without being scanned down to my bones (and my luggage being scanned to the atomic level), and it’s hard to remember that the Department of Homeland Security didn’t exist once upon a time.

It brings up an interesting question that’s been posed over and over in the passing years: are we sacrificing our freedom for increased security? Many believe we are, and that it’s shifting us to a socialist state. We’ve heard plenty of screaming over the years about the NSA and other instances of the government snooping into our private affairs, which brings up the question of whether we’d rather be free or secure. And then again, if you’re doing what’s right, does it matter? After all, if you have nothing to hide, then why does it matter if the NSA knows where you are,  who you’re talking, texting, and emailing to, and what you had for lunch today? I guess the real question is our right to privacy. And again, we enter the freedom/security loop. Is there an end? Is there an answer? I don’t know.

The escalating tensions in the east with ISIS now are actually a factor I’m figuring into the draft of the science fiction trilogy I’m writing. There’s no doubt that terrorism is still a huge issue in the world today, and it’s impacting world events and even history itself. I feel our grandparents generation, “the greatest generation,” are turning in their graves right now. They fought and worked so hard to rid the world of the evils of Nazi’s and the threats of dictatorships only to have radical terrorists rise to plague future generations. It just goes to prove that it’s always something. Marvel might have it right after all. Remember what Hydra said about “cut off one head, and two more rise?” That seems to be the truth. Fiction and reality have uncanny parallels. Then again, reality influences fiction, so there you have the answer to that riddle.

I think this is a testament to the fact that future generations will fully realize that 9-11 changed the world as we know it. They may not have the memories or personal connections and recollections of exactly how these changes happened. Heck, those of us that have experienced it probably find ourselves hard pressed to articulate it ourselves, because many of the changes are felt rather than seen. But we know it’s there, and they will realize it too, even if they weren’t here to experience it. It’s like we know Pearl Harbor changed the world, even though many of us weren’t around then. At least better media coverage will give future generations something more to see from the day that changed the world in the twenty-first century.

The truth is that we’re still seeking that balance between freedom and security, and the explosive advances in technology in the past 13 years haven’t made it any easier. Every step forward is one more thing we have to consider that can be misused by those that wish to do us harm. It’s a shame that we have to live in such a state of partial paranoia – but then again, as it ever been any other way? There were many decades between Pearl Harbor and 9-11, which no doubt led to some complacency. How do you strike the balance? I’m not sure there is any one answer, or what direction this whole debate is taking us as a nation, a society, and a world in. 13 years later, and the story is still unfolding in many ways. It’s something to think about.

That’s my meditation on the day. I offer a prayer for those lost on 9-11, their families and friends, and all affected by the terrible events of that day. Wait, that means all of us, because in one way or another, we were all affected. Well, here’s a pray for us all!

That’s all today. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a fantastic weekend.

Bye!

I’ll tell you another thing I’ve lost patience for: whining about “bad luck” and “tough breaks” when people are accepting defeat in other areas of life. I don’t think most people realize how they sabotage themselves on a larger scale when they accept something bad in life “because that’s the way it is.” It’s sad, because you don’t realize how those little things keep you in places you don’t want to be and, worse yet, prevent you from achieving victory in your life. It’s counter-productive, it’s lazy, and at it’s very root, it’s wrong, plain and simple. Really, how can you expect to achieve victory in the big matters if you refuse to conquer the pesky irritants that drag you down every day?

It confounds me how people refuse to correctly deal with toxic relationships, bad habits, and manageable health situations and then not understand why their life is a mess. Saying you don’t want to seek treatment or take medication for fear of “stigma” or addiction to pills to get through your day is actually telling the universe that you want to suffer and be sick. Refusing to kick an addiction or an unhealthy habit because “it’s not that big of a deal, and besides, so many other people are doing it,” is telling the universe that you don’t value your life and want to hasten your demise through a long, drawn out medical battle that will steal years you could be enjoying. Saying you don’t want to terminate a bad relationship because “they need me and maybe my good influence can save them” is telling the universe that you want to be mistreated and abused. Refusing to do the right thing or to take the time to do things the best you can “because I don’t have time for that” is painting a bullseye on you for the devil to take his best shot – and believe me, he always takes that challenge.

Stop fooling yourself into believing that you’ve being prudent, gracious, or forgiving – just tell the truth and say that you don’t want to fact the problem, so you’re making excuses and running. When you say “that’s just me,” you’re inviting defeat into every area of your life. When you say “oh, that’s just them. That’s just how Jack/Jane is,” then you’re cheating them and sentencing them to further defeat when in fact, standing up to them could very well save them. Accepting bad things is nothing more than an excuse to stay settled in a comfortable rut, and guaranteeing that the world will shovel the dirt over you when it’s ready to bury you. What you allow not only continues, but compounds.

I’ve heard a lot of people telling me that I expect too much out of life, myself, and other people. I’ve been told I’m too hard on myself and others. I’ve been railed as an idealist with no concept for the realities of life. I’ve been told my ideas are too post-modern. Do you know where every one of these people are? Exactly in the same place they were when they said those things five, ten, or fifteen years ago, which happens to be in my past, because I’ve moved on. They’re buried in their comfort and I’ve moved on multiple times in come cases because I’m not afraid to ask the hard questions, make the best of what I had, take advantage of opportunities, correct wrongs, set boundaries about what I will and won’t allow in my day to day life, and embrace change. They accepted excuses and remained. I didn’t, and built a bigger life. By all rights, I have no right to be where I am, according to these people. What separates me from them is the audacity to actually do what they said shouldn’t or couldn’t be done.

It’s time to chuck the excuses and accept this reality: you can’t win the war when you refuse to fight any battles. How are you going to run a company when you allow one person to run all over you? How are you going to get well if you don’t do what your doctor says to do? How can you enjoy your retirement  when you won’t work now? How can you write the novel, start the project, take on the hobby, or go on your mission when you crash out in front of the television every night because you’re “tired and not feeling it.” How do you plan to get the promotion, the nomination, the title, the respect, the award, or the friends if you’re angry, bitter, jealous, and walking around with a two-ton chip on your shoulder? If you don’t reap it, you can’t sow it. And you usually get back more than you invest, whether it’s seed or whirlwind. That can be encouraging or disturbing, depending on what you’re allowing in your life right now.

Folks, there’s no excuse for accepting less than the best in your life. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot and then scream because you’re hurt and bleeding. Goodness sake, how many times have I told you to read The Secret? And if you say “I don’t do that new age stuff,” then read Me and My Big Mouth, by Joyce Meyer. Same message surrounded by scripture, and written ten years earlier. We live in an age of information, and the secrets to making the best of life aren’t secrets anymore. Take advantage of this age of information  and use it to make a better life.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

I've about had it with people telling me what time it is! Yes, I know that recently turning 39 means that (que dramatic music now) 40 is just around the corner. I know that Halloween is the next big holiday, followed by Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and what-are-you-going-to-do-to-prepare-for-40 resolutions. I know fall is coming, a mid-term election is coming, license renewals are coming , and then winter is coming (is anybody else hearing the theme song for Game of Thrones in their head right now?). All this I know. 

And all this I do not give a crap about. 

One of the nuggets of wisdom my grandfather passed on to me as a child was to not wish my life away. "People are always wishing for the next thing to hurry up and get here, and then they get older and wish they had all that time they wished away back." Even at 10 and 11 years old, that advice held merit to me. I got it. Now I look around, and it seems that we, as a society, are obsessed with time - or rather, how much or how little of it we think we have. This has been confirmed many times over just this weekend, from Halloween decorations in stores, to people walking around in shorts and fur-lined boots (it seems they can't wait to show off that smashing winter wardrobe), to an article I just read on 4 Ways to Defy Your Age. It's a good article, but 4 ways? I'll give you 3, and they're the title of this entry:

1. Shoot the clock. You control your schedule. If you're a slave to it, things are backwards and you need to take dominion over it. 
2. Burn the calender. Stop obsession over how old you are. Your age is nothing more than a point of reference to how long you've been on this rock hurling through space. Setting goals, expectations, and limitations based on your age (current or impending) is unnecessarily fencing yourself in. You'll be in a box when you're dead. Why do you want to live in one of your own making?
3. Live already. If you woke up this morning, there's hope. If you woke up healthy and/or able to function, there's more hope. For goodness sake, take the blessings you have, give thanks for them, and work them! 

Maybe it's because I faced death twice in a five month period, but I'm really fed up with the fears and limitations people put on themselves based on time and  my patience for that crap is gone. Where I live, it's still summer. Maybe the fur lined boots with shorts are appropriate in San Francisco, but in Columbia, South Carolina, where it's 90 degrees with 90 percent humidity - no. It's still summer. It's the peak of it, and we have about another month to go before we even think about things like socks and long sleeve shirts. Forget fall! Why can't we enjoy what's left of summer? Sure, I'd like for the mercury to drop about 20 degrees, and sometimes in September we are graced with those hints of fall - but why wish it away? We'll be trapped inside with sunrise at 8 a.m. and sunset at 5 p.m. before you know it, and then we'll whine for spring. 

When I first got the idea for the concept to The Earthside Trilogy, I did have a moment of doubt about my ability to write a series of three books But it was just a moment because I realized that I'm probably going to write a lot more than three books before I leave this Earth, so what difference does it make if they're part of a series? And with that, off I went. 

I'm not saying that everybody needs to be like me because goodness knows, the world doesn't need that. But maybe more of us do need to get over our obsession with time and wishing our lives away. It's a waste, really, when you could spend that time doing other things, like enjoying where you are in life right now.

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!

I recently found myself grappling with an interesting question: was it appropriate for me to dive back into writing immediately after my father-in-law passed away? The question came not from anything that was said to me, but rather from noticing that it seemed to take others longer to get “back into life” after all the chaos that is dealing with death. Five days after he passed, I found myself starting a draft of the first book in my trilogy while everybody else was pushing themselves back into life. Hmm, I wondered, maybe something’s not right in the head. I’m glad to be getting back to a routine while others are struggling.

I passed it off as well, it was an in-law, so that’s the difference. Plus, he had dementia, so I probably dealt with his decline a step at a time, like I did with my great aunts when I was younger. But still, it felt weird to be jumping back into all of the various things that make up my life without a hitch while others were getting back in slowly. In fact, just the other day, Rick told me that he was glad my life was going so well, because he felt he coped better by seeing me be my happy self.

That’s when it occurred to me. I am happy. It’s impossible for me to get down and stay down. Sure, I’ve had tough times and struggles, but it seems that I always come to a point where I say “oh, this is crap! Let’s just get on with it!” and I move on. The world keeps turning, after all, and I’m going with it whether I’m ready or not. Even when Ollie died last winter, sad as I was, I made myself get up and get going – to go to work, to be with family and friends, to finish the rough draft of Obsidian, and to keep Nonstop to Nowhere on progress for publication in the Nightlife Anthology. Somehow, getting out there reminded me that I am still alive, and that better days would come. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed in my 39 years on Earth, it’s that nothing stays the same. I read The Screwtape Letters and I know the Law of Undulation. Things are always in motions between peaks and valleys. Some say that means you can’t escape the suffering. I say that means you can’t miss the victory if you keep diligently and faithfully working toward good things.

Perhaps it’s my natural temperament. Dad is also a very contented person. Maybe it’s because of my faith. Maybe I am a ridiculous idealist, as I was often accused of in my 20’s (although it hasn’t failed me in the long term yet). Or maybe I’m just sassy enough to not let the devil win.

People often ask me what’s going on and what I’m up to. Nothing! Well, lots of different things actually, but I can assure you that no real people are being hurt by any of it (I can’t attest to the well being and safety of fictional characters, though). Just because I’m happy doesn’t mean something’s going on, or that I don’t care. In fact, I’m often happy because nothing is going on and things are rolling along fine. In fact, I’ve been sick with lots of minor illnesses lately, so if I wake up feeling good and healthy, that’s reason enough to celebrate.

I know that not everybody is like that and certainly don’t mean to annoy people, but I’m not afraid to smack you with sunshine if the pity party gets too intensive. In fact, here, have a dose right now. Look at the pretty birdies. Zack and Chloe want you to cheer up, give thanks for your blessings, and remember that where there’s life, there’s hope. If you feel like sending popcorn in appreciation for their dose of sunshine, message me and I’ll give you the shipping address. Light butter, please. We don’t want sagging perches!

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the week.

Bye!