Blog Archives

Loose Ends?

8/27/2012

I find myself at an odd loss of what to write these days. It seems that since I finished the rough draft of Feathered Frenzy, I've been somewhat at loose ends. I'm not sure why I feel this way. Move is only half finished and still needs plenty of work before it will be at a point where I'll consider it complete enough to send to one of my publishers. And I'm planning to self-publish Feathered Frenzy, so there's plenty of rewriting, revision, proofreading and editing in my future for that project. I've been quite busy with promotional efforts over the past couple of weeks and in fact have some more work I need to do this week. So why do I feel like I'm at loose ends with nothing to do?

I wonder if it's because I've been batting around the ideas for these 2 books all summer, and now that they're drafted then I feel a bit empty. The third book project I was considering isn't going to work out. I thought about rewriting a piece I wrote several years ago, but in reviewing it I realized the reason I never pursued publication was because it isn't publishable! It was some of my early work and frankly, I think it would be better to scrap it and start all over, but I'm not very inclined to do that. I don't have any clear plot ideas, but I'd rather write another fiction novella than do another non-fiction book. I have a clear goal and concept with Feathered Frenzy but with this one I really have no idea on where to go or what to do with it.

I think another reason may be anxiety over the coming month. My September calendar at work is a nightmare of meetings, and I know that finding the energy to write after dealing with meetings once and twice a week and paperwork piling up while I'm locked in the conference room is going to be tough. I know, most people would ever-so-gently suggest that I shelve writing for the month. And to that I ever so boldly say to take a flying leap. My writing is the one thing in my life that is my own. It's the thing nobody else can put their hands on and control. It's non-negotiable. If that makes me selfish, well, you be the martyr and let others control every part of your life. The fact that I almost never have anxiety attacks or problems while I'm working on a book or promotion project (no matter how busy I am in every other area of my life) is a testament to the fact that it's good for my soul, and I will not lay it aside.

Or maybe it's something else all together, but whatever the reason, I'm sure it will pass. After all, there's plenty of work to be done on these two projects, my published works will always be in need of promotion, and I have no doubt that the next great book idea is just around the corner.

That's all today. Take care and have a good week.

Bye!

Progress With My Writing

8/22/2012

Many people have asked me recently about how things are going with my writing, so I thought I'd update you through a blog entry. I've stay very busy with it between promoting work that's already published and writing new work. Here's a rundown of where things are at:

As you probably know, I'm in the middle of an Author Feature Week on The Edible Bookshelf. DelSheree Gladden read my young adult novel, Blurry, and is doing a feature on me that's focused on this book on Monday - Friday of this week. Today's entry is the best so far with an author interview on Blurry. You can check it out at http://www.theediblebookshelf.blogspot.com/2012/08/interview-with-sherri-fulmer-moorer.html . Be sure to drop by http://www.theediblebookshelf.blogspot.com tomorrow and Friday too to see the remaining entries in the feature week. I'd like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to DelSheree Gladden for reading Blurry and giving me this wonderful opportunity to reach readers through her outstanding blog!

I was also surprised to get a very flattering review of Anywhere But Here today. It was so encouraging to see that this story touched someone and that they recommended it because they believed that others could relate to it too - even with the twist ending! (Folks, this book has a BIG twist in the end!). Dealing with personal setbacks and depression are the major themes of this fictionalized novel about a young woman whose life falls apart in the weeks after college graduation, and it was my hope that others would read this tale and find hope to face their own challenges. I'm glad people are relating to this story. That is, after all, why writers do write in the first place - so their stories can entertain and inspire others. I'd like to thank Goodreads for their support of indie authors and for helping people to find me and my work. If you love reading, this is a great site! You can check them out at www.goodreads.com .

I have several book reviews for Blurry and Anywhere But Here pending, and I have my fingers crossed that they continue to get good reviews! I'm also planning to pick up promotion for Quarantine, my mystery novella, and Resonance, my horror long story, in September and October. Both of these stories take place in October. In fact, Resonance is a Halloween tale. I believe these are good, quick reads that people will find interesting as a fall read. Plus, they're cheap - only a dollar!

On the publication front, I signed a contract with Whiskey Creek Press to publish Splinter, my sci-fi novel that I wrote for National Novel Writing Month in 2010, in late May. I should get more information from them on a publication schedule in October or November, and it should be out sometime in mid to late 2013. I'll let you know when I get a timeline for publication. In the meantime, here's a synopsis:

The end of the world is just the beginning.

Dr. Leigh Lorene Lybrand, a thirty-three year old geophysicist, is content with her humble life on Earth.  She has good work studying the reversal of Earth’s magnetosphere, a loving fiancé, and a supportative family. It’s a life most people would be happy with, until she’s offered a chance to make history. Developing interstellar habitats in the Jovan system will make her famous and financially secure for the rest of her life. She’s willing to put aside life on Earth for two years to have a chance to establish humanity in outer space.


History takes a critical turn when Earth is destroyed by a solar flare, and the crew of Jovan I are responsible for the survival of humanity. As they explore ways to survive in space, dark matter starts to rip open the fabric of
space and time, allowing Leigh and one of her colleagues to see parallel universes. When the visions take a sinister turn to reveal that a radical religious group planned Earth’s destruction, Leigh must make a choice: Accept her fate or use what she’s learned to save humanity; even if it means sacrificing herself in this universe.

I obviously need to clean that up into a more intriguing back cover blurb, but I beleive you get the point. And let me tell you, I'm super excited about this book! It's the most work I've ever done to write a novel - it's my longest book to date at 50 chapters and took over six months of research just to plan the plot! But the work was worth it, because I believe this is my best book so far.

On the writing front, I have two books in progress right now. That's right, two! The first is a mystery novel titled Move. The tagline - be careful what you wish for. I don't nave a formal synopsis for it because it isn't complete, but it's about a woman that's stuck in a rut that unknowingly makes a deal with a djinn to help her with people that are getting in the way of her progress. Unfortunately, the djinn isn't really good with the whole wish-granting thing, and he makes a bigger mess of things than she ever imagined. And I'll be honest with you - I love working on this book. This is the most fun I've had writing a book since Blurry! It's just a good, intriguing story and I love the characters I work with. Well, except one of the villians, but I'm having fun helping things bite her in the butt. These are the experiences writers live for - to get absorbed in our work and fall into the world we've created. This is why I love writing. To create new work and share it with the world. I think the only thing better than reading a great story is writing one. Well, one that you think is great anyway.

The other book is a short non-fiction book titled Feathered Frenzy! A Quick Guide to Adapting Birds Into Your Life. I'm writing this book as a way to share what I've learned from over twenty five years of bird ownership with others that have birds for pets. I might not have advanced degrees, but I believe that a lifetime of having birds for pets gives me plenty of advice to share, and I have picked up quite a few tips, tricks and lessons throughout the years that I beleive will be helpful to other bird owners. When I say this is a short book, I'm not kidding - I started it last week, and I've written 8 of the 10 chapters already. Hopefully, I'll complete the rough draft in the next couple of days. I plan to self publish this book. In the meantime, I posted a sample chapter in this blog last week, and I've posted another snippet on the bird blog over at Conure Corner at http://conurecorner.weebly.com tonight.

So that's what's going on with my writing. Thanks to all of you for your continued support and interest in it! I'll return to my usual musings and shenanagins next time. Until then, I hope the end of your week goes well.

Bye!

Somebody Explain the "Age Freakout" Thing to Me

8/20/2012

And do it like I'm 2 years old, because I absolutely don't get it. That must be one train I missed.

So Rick's birthday is tomorrow and he isn't happy about turning 40. His mother's birthday is today, and she's none too happy about being 70. Seems to me a lot of people freak out about their age. I'll be the first to agree that getting a year older is pretty useless after you hit 21, but it continues to happen the same time every year. The only way to stop it is to die and, well, that's just not an acceptable alternative if you ask me.

I remember how puzzled people were when I turned 30 and didn't seem disturbed. "Sherri," they would say, "you're in your 30's now. Don't you think it's time to start making things happen?" Of course, it did seem my life was in a rut, but I knew what I was working toward and refused to get frustrated because I turned another decade and it didn't magically fall into place when I blew out the candles. And believe me, when I did buy a new car and we built a new home in the following 2 years, those same people were saying "whoa, what the hell are you doing?" Ah ha. So it was an age thing, eh?

I learned then people will yak at you about making things happen, but if you're happy with what you've got then they're just blowing hot air. And we put way too much emphasis on age in regard to these things. Why do you have to thus and such by a certain age? Says who? The last time I read the 10 Commandments they didn't say "thou shalt do 'x' by age 30, 'y' by age 40, 'z' by age 50 ..." Laugh it up because it sounds silly, but apparantly we have a whole lot of people living by self imposed commandments just like that.

The thing I don't get is why be bothered? I mean, you can't do anything about it. And frankly on those occasions when I do look back, I'm kind of amazed at the amount of people I've met, things I've learned, and experiences I've had. It's amazing to think of how much has crossed my path. Perhaps it's my temperament, but instead of looking back wistfully, I usually look back and say "wow, that was good and look at how far I've come! Who would have thought?" Or if it's bad I say "praise God I not only lived through that, but look at all I learned from it and what the Lord helped me make of it."

Frankly, I wouldn't go back. Why do it? Middle school was hell. High school was ok but there was way too much angst. College was great, but I was still dependent on my parents and had that "itch" to establish myself - I felt a bit immature. And my 20's were WAY too much of a learning curve. They were good, but like anyone starting out there were plenty of overly-emotional reactions and not good decisions along the way that lead to the wisdom I use now. My boss calls such things "historical knowledge." It might not sound flattering to those purturbed by the DOB on their drivers license, but I think it's an accurate term.

Why would you want to give up what you've learned? Why would you want to give up a lifetime of growth and achievement? Why would you want to give up the gifts the Lord has helped you work up to so you can go back to experiences of yesterday and struggles you've already overcome? I just don't get it. Sure, I'd like the body I had at 23 - but frankly, if it's be a size 4 again and have those awful struggles with my sinuses and allergies or be a size 8-10 and outgrown from alot of that struggle and agony to only battle my sinuses occasionally and not nearly as much as I used to, well, I'll take too much booty in the pants and fewer sick days, thank you very much.

Maybe it's because it seems that everywhere I go, I'm always the youngest person around. That has been an issue my whole life. Even now, I'm the youngest person on my staff and folks, I'll be 37 next Sunday. Maybe it's my temperament. I'm one of those types that has always felt that the best time of my life is the time I'm in (Dad thinks the same way). Or maybe I'm just thankful for what the Lord has given me and excited about where He's leading. Or all of the above. I don't know.

"Who you were, who you are, and who you will be, will always be with you." Q said that to Captain Picard in the series finale of Star Trek - The Next Generation. So it is, and so it will be as we march along, taking life one day at a time. The question is, do you view time as a companion or as a villian? The choice is yours.

That's all today. I wish my husband, Rick, a very happy birthday tomorrow. And don't worry, we won't do the "Lordy lordy, guess who's 40" thing either. In fact, he has my permission to ask anybody that says that if they're brain damaged because that's just unbelievably and totally unexcusably lame.

Take care all and have a great week.

Bye!

Movies I Like

8/17/2012

It's no secret that I'm a huge fan of sci-fi and fantasy. You all know that I'm a big fan of The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, and pretty much anything having to do with superheros, especially Marvel creations like The Avengers, Thor, Captain America, and the Iron Man series. I'm anticipating The Hobbit with great interest as well. A prissy lady I am not when it comes to my movie picks. But there are some other movies out there not in these categories that I think are must sees. For example, I highly recommend:

Office Space. If you work in an office, this is a must see. The parallels to real life in an office are funny and a bit scary! And no joke - the opening scene when Peter has all the people telling him he messed up his TPS report is so errily reminicent of my former workplace that it's scary.

Eragon. A lot of people thought this was a Harry Potter rip off, but I think anybody that read the entire Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini will tell you that it was a unique series all it's own. I think the reason this movie didn't do better was that it came out in the midst of Harry Potter mania, and they didn't do enough marketing to really push it as the unique creation that it was. The books definitely got more advertising and made more headway as a result. This movie was actually pretty good and I loved the concept of the dragon riders. It's a pity that movies weren't made for the rest of the series, because the books were absolutely awesome. On the big screen, it would be epic.

Dazed and Confused. Just teens without a worry in the world on the last day of school. Who doesn't love reliving that? Even if we didn't do it like they did, we still relate to that feeling of freedom.

Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke. Hilarious and goofey. Who doesn't love this? This comedy of errors definitely strikes the funnybone in most of us! (And if you like this, you'd also like Friday with Chris Rock. So funny!)

The Waterboy. Adam Sandler + Kathy Bates = Brilliant! And if you like college football then this is a must see. It's goofy and funny with a heartwarming theme. I guess. Well, it was funny watching him knock people over anyway! (I'd also recommend The Blind Side - it's more serious, but a great story especially for football fans).

Paulie. This green cheek conure had a life full of adventure! Bird lovers, you have to see Paulie's adventures in finding his original owner, Maria.

So see, I'm not completely stuck in a rut. I have my favorites like everybody else, but there's always room for more good stuff, even if it doesn't fit the typical mold. Heck, sometimes breaking the mold and broadening your horizons is what makes it great.

Happy Friday to you. Have a great weekend.

Bye!

Sample from Feathered Frenzy!

8/14/2012

It has begun! I started the rough draft of my next writing project, Feathered Frenzy, tonight. This book is a short guide to help bird owners integrate their avian companions into their homes and lives. It's been a while since I've done a non-fiction book (I've been writing mostly fiction for the past 5 years, besides blogs and occasional short pieces), so this is a refreshing break from the norm for me. Here's a sample from the introduction that I just wrote. Bear in mind that this is a very rough draft, so I'll ask for your grace and mercy for possible grammatical and spelling errors. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Introduction and Overview

Welcome to the joys of bird ownership! Whether you just “adopted” your first bird, are adding birds to your “flock” or are an expert human companion to your avian friends, you’ve come to the right place for fast and easy information on  how to adapt yourself and your home to the birds in your life.

Now what, pray tell, makes me qualified to tell you how to do such a thing? I’m not a veterinarian, or an ornithologist, or a biologist. There’s no fancy title after my name. I’m just a woman that works in professional licensing by day and writes novels by night. What makes me so special that I presume to tell you how to best integrate birds into your life and home?

I’ll tell you what qualifies me to write this book: over 25 years of experience with having birds as pets. I’ve had birds in my life since the tender age of ten, and for most of that time it’s been a multiple bird home. First
it was three budgies named Samson (Sammy), Delilah, and Petesy. They were my companions from middle school through college. I took a two year break from pet ownership after graduating college to get married and adjust to a job and home ownership, then came sun conures Zacchaeus (Zack) and Chloe, and budgie Oliver
(Ollie). Over the years I’ve not only learned a lot about having birds in your home, but I’ve noticed that the well of knowledge has drastically expanded. The diet and healthcare for birds has improved drastically, resulting in longer life expectancies. When I got Sammy for my tenth birthday in 1985, life expectancies for budgies was five to seven years. When I got Ollie in 2010, the life expectancy for budgies had increased to ten to fifteen years. And sun conures (along with other mid-size parrots) weren’t readily available or well known as pets in 1985.

A lot has changed, and the information we’re getting is improving every day. Unfortunately, that information is scattered. Birds are the number three pets in America behind cats and dogs, so naturally most of the pet care manuals available are geared toward our canine and feline friends. Finding in-depth information on bird care is still a bit of a challenge. It’s out there, but you have to hunt for it.

That’s where this guide comes in. The purpose of this guide is to pass along some of this scattered information, along with other tips and tricks I’ve picked up over a lifetime of sharing my life with birds. This is by no means a specialty guide on bird ownership, nor does it go in-depth on any topic. there are plenty of species specific books, training manuals and videos, and website information out there, and I certainly encourage you to read as much as you feel is necessary to grasp the basics of these important topics. In fact, I encourage you to do two things right now if you haven’t done them already:

1.   Buy and read at least one book that is focused specifically on the species of bird you have; and

2.   Join at least one Internet Group dedicated solely to the species or general type of bird you own. (For
example, I’m a member of a Sun Conure group on Yahoo!).

This book is to give answers to those unanswered questions that are still hanging in the air after reading those books and supplementing what you learn from the Internet group. Topics I’ll cover include what birds are best for your lifestyle (or how to adapt the bird you have to your lifestyle), the best cage designs, toys, food, and socialization tricks that have actually worked in my home. I’ll also share tips and tricks that keep my birds healthy and happy, save me time, keep my home orderly, and frankly preserve my sanity by integrating three active birds into my busy lifestyle!

Birds are great pets that enrich our lives and bring us joy through unconditional love and companionship. We are obligated show our love and joy in them by giving them the best home and care possible. Life with the birds may be hard work and challenging from time to time, but it’s never dull and it’s certainly worth the effort. And for all of our experiences, just imagine what life is like for them living in a human home.

Welcome to the feathered frenzy!

The Greatest Strategy

8/13/2012

There are many secrets to winning in life, and to achieving your dreams but the problem is there's only one perfect combination that leads to the kind of winning that matters. Whether it's striving for your goals, overcoming trials, or just trying to cope with the politics of whatever place or situation you're involved with, there is one strategy that will lead to success better than any other. The problem is, it's something that isn't easy to do, and most people just don't have the internal discipline to pull it off.

That strategy is patience that is mixed with wisdom and hard work.

Despite a world that gives us things with a click here and a beep there, the truth is that reality hasn't caught up with our high tech world. The best achievements, the most lasting rewards, and the ultimate victories don't always go to the strong, or to the clever. They go to those that are willing to wait for the perfect timing - and to work hard and smart in the interim.

Hard work - you can only reap what you sow, and you have to be willing to work hard; perhaps harder than you can even fathom, to lay the groundwork for achieving long term goals.

Wisdom - because stupidity never leads to anything good. Sorry to be so blunt folks, but it's the truth. And you don't have to be Brainiac to act with wisdom. Don't act in emotion and don't react. Think before you act. Count the costs. Evaluate the situation. Act with discernment. Only move when it's wise to do so.

Patience - I think this is the hardest element because everybody wants to rule the world, and they want to rule it now. But the truth is that anybody can force things through quick and easy means and get things "right now." The problem is that they have no foundation and they have to keep playing the same game to keep it up - and eventually somebody comes along that plays the game better and knocks you off your throne. Aw, poor babies. Haven't we learned yet that true, lasting success comes from laying the foundation first and building up from it? Timing is everything and if you don't act in the right timing then you won't have a foundation that will stand when the winds of fate come blowing (and they will).

There are many other things that I believe play into living well - discernment, integrity, honesty, and courage are also important, but these are traits that lead to the benefits of mixing the above three well because they all work together. There's no way you're going to have good discernment, for example, unless you have some wisdom to build it on. And integrity means that you will sometimes stand alone while others look for the easy way out, and you are left to rely on patience to see the benefits of standing your ground while others ran. And if you're lazy none of this will do you a bit of good because you're going absolutely nowhere, my friend.

This doesn't mean you'll win every time. You will lose some battles. Others will rise and lord it over you. There will be times when you are forced to defer to things that are crap and utter nonsense. But it does guarantee that you will win the war. They may mistake you for weak, but they don't need to know everything you know. Let them think you're weak, because you're wise enough to wait for right timing to make your move and set things in the proper order. And in the meantime, you quietly work so you'll have the strength to act when the critical moment finally arrives, and you will act right on time - not too soon, not too late.

Firestarters

8/10/2012

WARNING!! This blog entry contains extreme moderate material. If you are offended by anything, you shouldn't read it.

I dropped my second Facebook friend yesterday. I often have to pare down the follow list on Twitter because of follow limits, but Facebook sets the bar higher, so I'm not there yet with them. That means that if I drop a Facebook friend, something happened - and considering this is only the second time I've done it in 2 years, well, maybe I'm lucky.

Oh, this person wasn't harassing me or anything. In fact, I hated to do it and I don't feel happy about it at all. Seems the problem is that many of this persons friends objected to materials they posted on their wall, and told them so. They got extremely angry, and have posted several acidic posts basically saying that if you don't like it, too bad, this is me. Well, this week it turned downright toxic. And I've been patient, but when I saw the post that said "just drop me if you have a problem with what I say because I probably didn't ask for you to be my friend anyway" I said "fine!" and unfriended. Folks, over the past week I've had to deal with two professionals that died (one was serving on a committee with me), office politics taking a nasty turn, a tense committee meeting with dissenting opinions that wasn't altogether pretty, the garage door breaking, and the usual calls and emails from people that think our laws are stupid and we're too tough with our standards. I simply don't have the time or energy to deal with a parasite that throw fits for everybody to agree with them "or else." After the offline issues at my door, "or else" looked pretty darn good that time.

I try to be patient and tolerant with people. I know everybody isn't going to agree with everything I say, and that's ok. The truth is, I'm a moderate, and we don't tend to be inflamed firestarters that want to set the world ablaze by writing all the wrongs under the sun. Our world isn't black and white and we aren't consistent. My radio is set on BBN and Cold's "13 Ways to Bleed Onstage" has been in my CD player this week. I have absolutely no problem living in the shades of grey that make up the world and I don't feel I need to justify my beliefs or likes to anybody. I don't have all the answers and that's ok too. I, like other moderates, am accused of being a conformist when the truth is that we are the most radical non-conformists under the sun because we are square pegs and we refuse to be pounded into the round holes that make the left and the right comfortable. They can't figure us out, and I think that's why we irritate the hell out of them.

Last week was a great case in point. I got lambasted by some because I said I thought it was really silly to get inflamed over Truitt Cathy's support of traditional marriage when there's so much crime and violence in our society. Let's quit fighting, I said, and focus on coming down harder on people who abuse animals and children.

I was called a hypocrite. "You want to punish those that hurt animals, but you eat meat!" (Thanks to my cousin for pointing out that the Bible says some animals are ok to eat and others aren't).

I was told to quit being a whimp. "You're a Christian and it's high time we took a firm stand on something!"

I was called judgemental. "You're straight!" Ok, duh. I've been married for 14 years. Yea, I like men. I've never had THAT said to me like it's a problem. But also "You're judgemental!"

And best of all - "it's symbolic of standing up for something. You don't get that?"

Oh, I get it. I'm Lutheran. We're all about symbols. Read my books and you'll see how into symbolism I am. But I guess my perspective on this goes to a bigger picture than symbols. For example, last week:

1. A guy that shot and killed a high school classmate was released from prision. He admitted to being involved in her death, but his conviction was downgraded from a death penalty case to time served and he's on the street again; and

2. I heard two awful stories of parrots being killed by people in brutal and horrific ways. Just because they could and the animals couldn't defend themselves.

I'm sorry folks, but I fail to see how buying a chicken sandwich on August 1 saved the institution of marriage, which has been around since the dawn of humanity. I think the 50% plus divorse rate in this country shows a lacadasical attitude that will undermine it much more - and it's surviving that. Plus, the world is going to hell anyway. Are you really surprised? This isn't the only social injustice under the sun. I mean, take a look around.

But according to the right and the left, I don't get it. Whatever. The truth is that I do have fire in me, but I suppose my view of what's important is different. And if that makes me bad, oh well. Call me what you will but the truth is, I have other places to channel my energy. Like my two books in progress right now.

Still, I do believe everybody has a right to their opinion, and I have no problem with people expressing it. In fact, sometimes I do seek those on "the other side" in an attempt to broaden my horizons and to get greater understanding. I find it interesting and I do like to learn. I am a writer, after all, and people do interest me. I love to hear their stories and what they think. But when it becomes "my way or the highway," well, I CAN drive 55 and I will, right on outta there.

In closing, I'll say that Jesus himself said He came for the sinners that need healing, and we ALL need healing in some way, shape or form. Everybody's got problems (as a moderate, I have absolutely no problem admitting that I do). He welcomes us all, and that's a good thing for everybody. I say let's try, at least, to show the love He commanded by having respect for others' opinions - whether we agree with them or not. If the dissention is too sharp, you can do like I did on Facebook and just go away. You don't have to win every battle.

And if you read this entry despite my facious disclaimer above and are offended, here's a video share for you.

That's all today. Happy Friday to you.

Bye!

Common Sense

8/6/2012

Folks, I was informed today that a committee member I've been emailing for a week - and even scheduled for a meeting - died. I felt like such an idiot! At first I thought "maybe he's on vacation" and let it go. Then late last week, I wondered briefly if I could call but, of course, all manner of other things needed my attention and that thought flew away with the wind. I should have stopped for that moment and followed up on it, but I just didn't. And today when I sent out the meeting invitation one of the other committee members sent out a broadcast message that the guy died last week with a copy of the obituary.

I felt like such an idiot. I know, Rick told me I shouldn't. How would I have known, anyway? We haven't taken the newspaper in over 5 years and even when we did, we never checked the obituaries because, well, in our 30's why would we? But I still felt silly, and that little voice that told me to call last week has been saying "see? you should have done it!" all day.

Oh well, at least I didn't email him a copy of his own obituary. I did do that once and have to say that was more embarassing. At least I remembered the note to myself from that incident today: Update the email group list BEFORE you forward the message.

I won't lie to you - I'm one of those people that was heavy on the book sense and light on the common sense growing up. I was teased endlessly about it. In fact, I know the reason I get irritated with older people being helpless and getting duped is because these were the very same people that were telling me I needed to "wise up to the ways of the world or all that education isn't gonna do you a bit of good in the real world" 15-20 years ago. I graduated in the top of my high school class and graduated college with honors, but learning to drive was hell for me - so much so that Dad sat me down and had a talk with me about how I had to learn to drive because there's no public transit in this town, and "functional adults drive." It really was awful. On top of struggling with common sense I'm also helplessly clumsy, and getting coordinated enough to drive - it took me about a year to get it. Yea, a year. My friends got their permit and were driving like pros after 2-3 months, and it took me a year. And even longer to do it well, without scaring the hell out of everybody in the car with me. Don't even ask me abou the abuse I took for it too, especially in driver's ed. The teacher made no bones about the fact that I might be a whiz in the classroom, but he thought I was a dumbass in the real world. He really was a jerk, by the way. As were my classmates. But thankfully I'm too old for teen angst. I did grow up. And I did grow some sense too.

I credit three things with this: Marriage, home ownership, and a job in a regulatory agency. Those three things will give you plenty of experiences that lend to wisdom very quickly. Relationships take work - more than you ever realize! Home ownership is a huge responsibility that requires a certain amount of organization, practicality, and saavy. And a job working with applying legislation to real life? That will stretch your brain, because you spend as much time blockading the people looking to exploit every loophole as you do applying it to the cooperative people/situations. I still have my moments - like emailing dead people - but my peers and colleagues have them too, and we aren't embarassed about it. In fact, things like this just help you get wiser.

I think this is why I'm always putting the characters in my novels in situations where they have the book smarts but not the "street smarts" to know what to do when their conflict arises. Part of the journey that every one of my protagonists have gone through is a realization that others don't share their knowledge/beliefs/morals and they have to decide what to do about it. Many of their journies have paralleled my own and I believe it's because they're issues that all of us face at one point or another. Because eventually life is going to take that unexpected turn, and we have to decide whether to fight it, accept it, or mine it for possibilities that we might not have planned for but are willing to accept as greater opportunity. Or we'll have to deal with people doing something against our morals because it's easier than doing what's right, and they're going to ridicule us as an idealist if we don't go along with the game (or worse yet, agree to take the blame if it all falls apart - yep, I've been there). Or we'll have to decide if we want to step out and take a chance on achieving a dream, or let the fear of failure keep us stuck in place. And we all have to decide - are we willing to work hard to make our dreams come true and make some sacrifices, or will we stay where we are, hoping somebody or something will come along to give us a "big break"? Because, as a colleague said last week, nothing in life is free, except God's love and the DMV manual. And some ebooks in the public domain and written by generous independent authors.

I'm not sure where the DMV manual came from - perhaps because she had a daughter getting ready to apply for her driver's permit. But anyway ...

I will agree that common sense is important, but I'm still one that believes that the "education and experience" work together. The book sense gives you the foundation you need. Because we all know that life isn't fair, and that the unexpected happens, and that sometimes people just don't like you, and that if something can go wrong then it will, and at the worst possible time. The Bible even says "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all." (Ecclesiastes 9:11) These truths we know - but it's wisdom that tells us what to do when we actually face these situations. What do you do when you're passed over for the promotion? What do you do when somebody asks you to alter this or that financial report 'just a little?' What do you do when a friend betrays you and throws you under the bus for a mistake they made, but they lied and made it look like you did it? What do you do when you're on a date and the guy yells the cop that pulled him over for speeding, which sets off that voice in your head that says "geez, he has a temper. I'm not comfortable being around him?" And then he asks you out on another date and you don't want to go, but he's already been pissed off once tonight and you're afraid to say no? Book smarts tell you it CAN happen. Common sense tells you what to do when it DOES happen.

And in closing - yes, I did have someone send a message to a dead person in one of my novels. It happened in Splinter, which will be released through Whiskey Creek Press next year. Tune in for that and more fictionalized shenanagins in the ongoing progression of my writing.

That's all today. Have a great week.

Bye!

The Way to a Woman's Heart

8/4/2012

I remember Rick's grandmother telling me that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Hmm. That might have been true in her generation, but I'm not so sure about that now - or maybe it was a polite way of putting things back then. I think we have a pretty good idea of how to keep our men happy, but the problem is that it seems they are never given hints on how to win a woman's heart. They say we're mysterious, and hard to figure out. That we're elusive. That we're from another planet and there's no way to figure out what's happening in the depths of our minds and hearts.

Well fellows, I have good news for you. We aren't all that complicated. There is a very simple way to a woman's heart, but I'm afraid you aren't going to like it. The way to win our heart isn't through expensive jewelry, romantic dates, or exotic vacations.

The way to a woman's heart is to help with the housework. I'm serious. Take just 1 thing off her "to do" list, and you're her knight in shining armor.

Yes, I hear the groaning. I recently read an article on happy couples and how they express love for one another and one major finding of the study was that no matter how much husband's loved and adored their wives, they still weren't any more likely to chip in with the housework any more than they absolutely had to. It's a shame too. I know it's distasteful fellows, and it's awfully convenient to have a companion and life mate that takes care of those annoying things like housecleaning, chores and errands - but you're consciously passing up a great opportunity to win the admiration and add to the love your mate, and it wouldn't even take that much. Take it from a woman that just spent all day cleaning the house. I swooned when I went upstairs and saw that Rick had already put the clean sheets on the bed. It was that simple! No diamonds. No steak dinner. No flowers. He did one chore for me. And I can tell you the things he helps me with around the house endears him to me just as much as all the compliments, praise, romantic dates, dinners, jewelry, flowers, and electronics that he's ever given me.

That's all it would take, fellows. If you see she's having a busy or rough day just take out the trash, or empty the dishwasher, or fold the towels, or put the dirty cup in the dishwasher. I can tell you for a fact that I swoon over Rosie the Robot maid on The Jetsons more than any guy on TV or in the movies. Why on earth have we not invented a robot maid in real life yet? That would make my life so much easier!

So guys, that's it. No mystery or intrigue. Take one things off our "to do" list and that makes you a superhero to us. Take two things off the list, and it might be your lucky day. Or night. Because eliminating stress from our lives makes us very grateful, and very happy.

That's all for today. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Bye!