One final stereotype I’d like to shatter is that Christians don’t like anybody that isn’t a believer. That’s not true. In fact, we’re called to go into the world and mingle with all people. If you want to join the faith, great! If not, well, we’re still existing together in this world and trying to make the best of it as we know how.

Christ’s command to love one another means that we respect people, whether they agree with us or not. It means being a decent human being and being polite and courteous to others. It means demonstrating the grace we have received to everybody we meet, and realizing that they have just as much a right to be who they are as we have to be who we are.

In other words, don’t be a jerk. You gain nothing by that. Treat others with the same respect that you want to be treated with, no matter what. It might be reciprocated. It probably won’t in some cases, but living by faith isn’t about what you receive. It’s about doing what’s right because it is right and you want to shine the light of good on the world, and that’s reason enough. Walking the walk is the most powerful testimony you have. Remember, people are influenced by the actions they see; not the words they hear. Everybody’s talking. Not everybody is doing. You can’t expect people to embrace joy if you’re griping and complaining all the time.

Where there’s life, there’s hope, and where hope is, grace abounds. The end times haven’t come yet, so there’s still an unlimited amount of grace to go around in this old world. There’s grace for you. There’s grace for me. There’s grace for everybody! Let’s live in the joy of that grace.

See, Christians aren’t the stuffy, tight lipped, Bible-toting, hard nosed, closed minded morons that you expected. We live in this world one day at a time, just like you do. We even have a unique personality and quirks just like everybody else. We’re still human beings, and we certainly aren’t better than anybody else. All that really makes us different from the rest of the world is where we lay our foundation. Everybody is rooted in something, and our foundation is Christ. What’s yours?

I hope you’ve enjoyed this wild ride through inspiration from somebody that by all rights, should have probably kept it to herself. What can I say? I’m a writer. I guess the extrovert in me won out this time. Now I shall retreat back to the introvert and work on my next novel. Stay tuned. It’s a humdinger.

Grace, peace, and joy to you, now and every day! I’ll see you on social media, my blog, and in my next publication.

Cheers! 

Faith is one thing inside the safe haven of church or other confined groups of believers, and quite another when it comes to putting it into practice when you get out there into the real world. Battleground Earth – Living by Faith in a Pagan World, my first published book, deals with this issue in detail. I stand by everything I wrote in that book, even if it isn’t the finest example of my writing abilities, and there’s no need to recap it here. Christianity has lasted for two millennia in this world, but the world still hasn’t stopped fighting it. Without fail, somebody, somewhere, is going to have a problem with your faith.

This could happen in a number of ways, so I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss a couple of areas where I’ve seen this resistance in all its ugly glory, and share the wisdom I’ve gained in dealing with it over the past ten years.

Contradictions

I’m going to be more brutally honest here than is appropriate in a Christian book: I’m skeptical of popular people. I’m pushing 40 years old, and I have a lovely knife collection courtesy of all the ones stuck in my back from “well liked” people that were hiding a hair trigger temper. Certainly not all of them have been that way, but I’ve been on the receiving end of the wrath of “swell” people that launched all out assaults on my character – sometimes for standing my ground, sometimes for rocking the boat, and sometimes simply for refusing to get involved in their drama and minding my own business like I thought I was supposed to. It’s caused me to back away from people that seem to have too many friends, because you never know where those emotional landmines are.

Certainly, I know this is falling prey to a stereotype I’ve created in my own mind. The problem with having a bachelor’s degree in psychology is that you can’t fool yourself. I know it’s a generalization, that its not fair for me to think like that, and that for every popular time bomb I’ve met, I’ve crossed paths with two or three that were perfectly decent human beings that demonstrated great fruit of the Spirit. I guess that when you’re caught in explosions that big, you don’t forget it. You definitely watch your step, or at least try to stay at a range outside of any potential blast radius.

I’m no respecter of persons, which has been much to the dismay of many that have crossed my path. I’m not impressed by power or position, and frankly I don’t care how many friends you have or how many people like you. My criteria for whether I like and respect you is simple: you’re a decent human being, or you aren’t. Integrity, honesty, authenticity, and loyalty are the hallmarks that define character. That’s easy enough and certainly fair, but you’d be surprised at how many people have a problem with it.

I bring this up because I’ve heard many other introverts and “loner” types (like me) complain about similar experiences, and I believe it’s a context that we can all relate to. By now we’ve come to the sad realization that cliques didn’t end in high school, and they’re just as prevalent in the adult world as they are on the playground. You’d think we’d learn, but then again it took 70 years of captivity for the Israelites to learn that God meant what he said about commandments, obedience and all those other inconvenient things that made them “uncool” with the pagans around them, and the rest of us still don’t get it. Gene pools are supposed to dilute with successive generations, but Adam’s stubbornness is just as dominate now as it was in the beginning of time. That’s frightening.

We live in a world of contradictions, and frankly some people are better at standing up to them than others. A bold person who doesn’t mind standing out or being a loner with a small “inner circle” of trusted individuals (like myself) usually winces less than a people-pleaser that’s been taught to make everybody happy. It’s a battle we all face, and some of us do better than others. Fair enough, we can grant other believers the grace to face the battle. It’s the people that don’t have time for that giving us reason to reach for the Excedrin, the squeeze ball, the social media post, the wine, the whiskey, or whatever you wish.

Christians should know that they’ll be challenged, and that they need to stand up to it. The problem is that they often get mixed up on what they’re standing for. Many new believers make the classic mistake of believing that they’re standing up for Jesus and defending His principals. Even I did this back in the day. I’d go to the mat for anything just to I could win another battle for Him. The problem is, I didn’t realize what a fool I made of myself in so many instances, because Jesus doesn’t need anybody to stand up for Him. He already won the ultimate battle, and He will come again victorious to clean up the rest of the crap that’s in the world. What’s done is done, and what’s coming is coming. Nothing we do changes that. So what, exactly, are we fighting for?

Our own integrity, that’s what, and the truth is that it’s only a fight if we make it one. Living by faith in a faithless world is a personal choice, and standing by our choices is our right as human beings. If we chose to believe in God and live by His word, we have a right to do that, and to expect that others will respect it. They don’t have to like it. They don’t have to like us. They do have to understand that this is how it’s going to be with us, and that understanding usually comes by calmly standing our ground than martyring ourselves. I learned the hard way that whining, screaming, and crying over the unfairness of it all gets you nowhere. Nobody hears you, and nobody cares. I finally got it one day and when somebody snapped at me about being “like that,” and I replied, “you have to understand that I’m going to do what I believe is right. If you want to prevent that, you do what’s right first.” You could have knocked them over with a feather. There went the fight. And yes, I have been tested on that, but once usually all it takes for people to learn to keep their shenanagins on their side of the line.

 It seems that Martin Luther’s “here I stand, I can do no other” is much more effective than engaging in battle. You do what you will. I’ll do what I will. God will sort it all out for better or worse, and He deals with such things through time and circumstance better than I would. End of story.

The bottom line is that you can’t just talk the talk; you have to walk the walk. Everybody talks, which is why fighting doesn’t work. Respect is earned through actions, not won by words.  A therapist once told me that people lie with their mouths and tell truth with their actions, so don’t listen to words; watch what they do. That’s some of the best advice I’ve had (and the one thing lots of people wish nobody had ever told me).

Yes, you will butt heads with non-believers every now and then, but you know what? Non-believers butt heads with one another, so you’re not special. Your faith-based words and actions are just another thing about this world that pisses them off and deepens that two ton chip on their shoulder anyway. It happens all the time. Some people are just jerks, and you can’t do anything about it. If you calmly stand your ground then you find yourself fighting less and being yourself more. Don’t let it get you down.

When “Right” Becomes A Liability

Just be aware that when they realize that they can’t turn you, then they’ll try to turn your own nature against you. This is usually the next line of defense, because they believe they’ve watched enough movies and TV to be as clever as the characters they admire. They’ll actually believe they can turn your virtue to their advantage and against you and if you aren’t mindful, this trick can work.

Here I’ll make another one of my well-known, unflattering admissions: I’ve been known to provoke people to anger on purpose. I know that pissing people off isn’t shining light on the world, but it’s part of a strategy. Standing on faith gave rise to a problem in my life that’s seemed to grow over the years: co-dependency. People learned that I’m a hard worker with high standards, so they believe they can relax and rely on me to do things. The problem is the domino effect described in Proverbs: a little rest, a little folding of the hands, and eventually I’m asked to do things that they should be doing themselves. They try to flatter me by telling me I’m so smart and they don’t understand it all, but I realize it as the smokescreen that it really is. It’s not that I’m smart; it’s that they’re lazy, and they want to capitalize on my work ethic “because it’s the Christian thing to do.” Talking, pleading, whining, and leaving it to rot doesn’t work against lazy, because lazy can tolerate a lot. The only way to win against co-dependency is to set boundaries, kick off the training wheels, and leave them to coast. And boundaries raise people’s ire every time.

I know you aren’t supposed to hang people out to dry. I know it’s not nice to challenge them or to make them angry. But as a person once told me, sometimes people are wrong, and they need correcting. Yes, people get angry with me when I withdraw, but I do it with the intention of helping them rise to their potential. If they do it “just to show me,” at least they rose to something, and I’ve seen a lot of progress happen that way. See, you’re smart too. Intelligence isn’t limited to a lucky few. We’re all smart in some ways. If I make you mad trying to mine your talent, fume away.

Christian is not equivalent to doormat, and you must have the audacity to draw the line and stare them down. I don’t recall a single Bible verse where Jesus said “whatever, have it your way” and walked away. People like the Christ that was obedient to the cross; not the Christ that turned over moneychanger tables – and yet it’s all the same. Remember this: when somebody makes “the right thing” a liability, it’s no longer “the right thing.” That changes everything.

Sometimes the right thing looks and feels wrong, but that doesn’t change the fundamental facts. It’s human nature to test people. It’s human nature to push them to see how much you can get away with. It’s human nature to push limits. And its God’s will that the right thing be done in all circumstances, despite human nature. The real question is, are you working with Him or against Him?

Respectfully Disagreeing and Standing Alone

I believe we’ve all known Christians that believe the world is out to get them. They think that everybody is against them because of their faith and that they have to constantly be on the lookout for the next attack. It may sound paranoid, but there are times when it does feel like your faith makes you a target. The world doesn’t flinch at making fun of Christians, at pointing out our flaws, or at making assumption like the ridiculous ones I’ve addressed in this book, and countless others. Christians do seem to be exempt from political correctness. I’ve never seen somebody get in the face of an Islamic and accuse them of being a hellbound killer, but they’ll snicker at Christians and call us freaks to our face. There’s certainly a double standard at play in society, but I don’t believe it’s cause for paranoia and it’s certainly not worth martyring ourselves over. We can only be a victim if we allow it.

We are all unique creations and as such, some personalities aren’t going to play well together. This is true whether you’re Christian or not, and unfortunately there’s no “once size fits all” answer on how to deal with conflict. We do have to remember the one hallmark of our faith, though, and that’s grace. Grace is about freedom, and the truth is that we have no right to judge because we don’t know where they’re coming from. Often, it behooves us to remember that hurt people hurt others, and the best thing is to forgive and let go for our own peace. Don’t let hate send you to hell. The charge of the Christian is to share the gospel, and people have a choice on whether to accept it. We try to share what we know to save their soul, but we can’t save them from themselves. If they want to show the world what a jerk they are then you can’t stop them.  

The truth is that as Christians, we will sometimes stand alone. Look at mainstream media and you see there aren’t many people of faith at the top. The world doesn’t like that, so the world doesn’t allow it to rise. Sure, that may change with the indie markets rising. Certainly, they have more of a voice, and more niche markets are rising for us. But in the end, we won’t be popular. That’s the price of a life rooted in Christ. He did say that we are not of the world, so the world doesn’t love us, so I hope you’re ok with being a loner. And really, it’s not so bad. I rather prefer being a loner because there’s a unique freedom in not being bound by expectations and being able to embrace what speaks to your soul without justifying it to those that don’t understand. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from standing alone, its that the view is a lot better from here.  

Heck with the world, anyway. In pure geologic terms, it’s just a huge rock hurling through space, and rocks can’t think. If people want to win the favor of a rock, they can have it. What matters most are things that can’t be quantified: love, relationships, faith, peace, and joy. A rock can’t give you that.

Wow, when you put it that way, it does sound silly. Suddenly, panoramic view of freedom looks inviting, and eternity seems like an investment worth considering. 

The number one reason I hear people give for avoiding the faith is usually a question: how can a good and loving God allow so many bad things to happen in the world? They know there’s no answer to that question, and I suspect it’s used to trap Christians into trying to explain the unexplainable.

I could tell you that there’s plenty of beauty in the world too. I could tell you that all the evil you see is the result of the devil’s work in this world, and because of God’s grace to let us have free will, we bring it on ourselves with our sinful nature. I could tell you that there’s a perfect Kingdom waiting for us beyond this life, and our joy will be complete when we navigate the mines and pitfalls of this world. I could tell you it’s a test of character, a test of faith, or a test of will. I could tell you that it’s to strengthen you for blessings to come. There’s a grain of truth in all of these things, but you’d still call crap on me because it’s not really an answer. So let me smash this stereotype right now: Christians don’t get it, either, and the truth is that we’re just as puzzled about it as you are.

Several years ago, I went to a funeral for a friend’s mother and the hymn of choice was “When Peace Flows Like a River.” People were swaying and waving their hands, saying “oh yes, Lord, it is well with my soul!” and I thought you people are full of crap. Just minutes before, my friend greeted me with tears in her eyes and told me how devastated she was over this sudden loss. Death, I thought, is not well with my soul, and I’m not ok with it. In fact, I’ve never once met a person who really and truly had a “whatever you want is alright with me, Lord” mentality. For all the faith I’ve seen, I’ve heard plenty of whining and tears and “why?” Nobody’s that well adjusted that just anything is alright and they’ll roll along as if it’s no more than picking apples at the grocery store. I’m sure that song has the best of intentions on how we should be, but nobody’s well with anything that happens. At least I’m bold enough to admit it. I have plenty of problems with plenty of things in this world, and I’m not afraid to admit it: to God, to myself, and to others. I don’t know why people of faith believe they have to hide their pain behind false piety.

I’m a Christian just like the others, but I can tell you that the pain of the world has no answer that will satisfy the soul. Some things just don’t make sense, and there’s no way to wrap our heads around it. Anybody that tells you they have the answer to this riddle is lying.

Ollie’s Story

 On June 24, 2010, Rick brought home a precious green and yellow parakeet from the school he works at. The vice-principal found the little fellow in the outside courtyard, completely exhausted, hungry, and confused. None of Rick’s co-workers knew what to do with the little fellow, and nobody was stepping up to claim the loss. Rick felt sorry for the bird sitting alone in the school all night and weekend, so he brought him home, believing that we and our two parrots, Zack and Chloe, would be good for him.

Before too long, that parakeet was our third bird. We named him Oliver, and he eventually opened up and became a great companion bird. Plus, he sang beautifully. I’d never heard anything like it! We took him to the vet for a “well check,” and the vet told us that he was less than six months old, and the singing was probably from being in close contact with a canary during his early days.

Ollie was great. He got along with our parrots well and was an outstanding companion. Family and friends adored him and loved hearing his songs and watching him bounce around his cage. The only issue was that he seemed to be camera shy. I only have a couple of videos of those beautiful songs, and a handful of pictures. More often than not, I’d get a picture of the wall because Ollie would jump away just as I took his picture.

In October 2013, I noticed that Ollie seemed to be gimpy on his left leg. Zack had just recovered from an upper respiratory infection, and I wondered if Ollie had fallen and banged his foot one day when I wasn’t around. Zack and Chloe had both done this, and were usually fine anywhere from a few minutes to a day later. A couple of days later, I was alarmed when I noticed that Ollie stumbled and was trying to avoid use of that leg altogether. I called the vet. Our regular vet wasn’t available, but another one in the practice took a look at him. He diagnosed Ollie with a kidney infection and said the infection had caused nerve inflammation that was affecting that leg. He gave Ollie a shot and some antibiotics and told me that the infection would clear up in a couple of weeks, but the nerve inflammation could take as much as six months to heal.

Ollie seemed to improve, but after Thanksgiving, I noticed that he was having trouble perching. Now his right leg seemed to be bothering him. I took him back to the vet. I asked for our regular vet, but he was tied up in emergency surgery. Another vet with the practice came in and said she thought the inflammation had spread, and maybe the infection didn’t clear up completely. She gave Ollie another anti-inflammatory shot and more antibiotics. The vet that saw Ollie the first time came in briefly and agreed with this assessment. They asked that Ollie come in two weeks later for a follow up. Ollie had perked up some by the follow up, but still had trouble moving. At this time, I had put him in a smaller cage and set it up with a large “corner perch” and other flat areas instead of perches so he could get around better.  Rick took Ollie to the vet that time, and his regular vet came in for that visit. He said that a tumor was a possibility, but he doubted it because that’s more common in older birds, and Ollie was only three and a half. He said he could do an X-Ray to know for sure. Rick and I talked about it and decided against it. Ollie was stressed out from all the vet visits, and Rick had just been through a two month ordeal with a tooth infection and root canal that had to be redone. Christmas was upon us, and frankly I was overwhelmed – so much that I came down with the flu on New Year’s Eve, even though I had a flu shot. Plus, I just wasn’t sure if I could handle what that X-Ray might reveal. It had been a very stressful time between work issues and Rick’s tooth problems, and frankly I just couldn’t take anymore.

I think you’ve figured out what happened by now. Ollie never recovered and in fact, he continued to deteriorate. On February 27, 2014, Rick and I took him to see his regular vet one more time. The vet found a large tumor on the base of Ollie’s spine. He as absolutely shocked. “He’s so young! I just don’t understand,” I remember the vet saying. And that was the end. There pretty much wasn’t a question. I told Ollie that we loved him and would see him on the other side (I always say this when dealing with death), and he was put to sleep.

I honestly believed he would recover, and it makes no sense to me why an innocent parakeet suffered like that. Ollie never hurt anybody or did anything wrong. We rescued him and intended to give him a long, full life. Why weren’t we allowed the time to do that? I don’t know.  It didn’t make any sense to me on February 27, 2014, and it still doesn’t today. I can’t tell you why Ollie died, especially in such an awful, painful way. But he did, and I’m left with no choice but to accept the loss as one of life unexplainable and move on.

Canyon View

Later that day, after we cleaned up and stored away Ollie’s things, I logged on to my computer to check on a few things for my writing. As my background screen came up, a strange thing occurred to me: it was a picture I had taken at The Grand Canyon exactly one year ago that very day.

I see that picture almost everyday, but it really struck me that evening: both because of the irony of going from a magnificent experience to something that absolutely sucked in 365 days, and because I actually stopped to remember the moment I took that picture. Visiting The Grand Canyon was one of those paradigm-shifting experiences that really caused me to look at things differently. Pictures really don’t do it justice, because it’s incomprehensible unless you experience it – and it is something that you experience with your whole being. I remember  looking at the red rock, blue sky, and sunshine and thinking: This is reality. This is as close as I’ll get to seeing the world like God sees it. That was the world as God created it, before people came along and started carving out our little places in the crevices. That is how the universe really exists. It’s not the 19 inch screen we’re limited to in our day to day living. It’s the unlimited panorama of everything.

The only thing about that view is that my eyes weren’t good enough to see into the valleys and crevices in that rock. I saw the Colorado River as a small, green blip at the bottom of one of those areas, and I only saw it because a sign with a telescope posted showed me where to look, and it was still small. I know that’s a huge river that carved out the very canyon I stood at the top of, but from where I stood at the top, I would have missed it if it weren’t pointed out specifically. And people rafting that river certainly couldn’t see me standing up there, looking down at them. The rock over their head blocked that view.

Human view is limited. Even if we try to step back and see the big picture, there’s no way we can see into all the valleys and pits way down there, and we certainly can’t see the sky well when we’re in one of them. Our vision is one way, and our minds can’t comprehend how it all works together for God’s greater good. I can’t tell you why Ollie died. I can’t tell you why I lost three friends to cancer during an 18 month period of time a few years ago. I can’t tell you why I lost two great aunts to dementia, and now my father-in-law has fallen prey to it. I can’t tell you why people get sick, or why the good suffer just as much or even more than the bad, or why things with apparently good intentions fall flat, or friends betray you, or people aggravate you, or why it just doesn’t work out. There are plenty of things I’ve seen and experienced that to this day, I cannot figure out what good came of it. Maybe I will understand one day, or maybe that reason will never come. All I know is that life isn’t fair, and that Eccleasiastes 9:11 is absolutely right: time and chance happen to us all.

Living with Questions

Being a Christian doesn’t protect you from the dark places; it simply gives you the courage to live with the questions, and the faith to trust that the answers are out there and will work together for good in the end (Romans 8:28). This also isn’t an instantaneous thing, but rather a process that we must work through. It’s perfectly natural to feel anger and grief over our losses and struggles, and there’s no shortcut to dealing with them. We must work through our emotions and take the time we need to come to terms with the questions that plague us.

I don’t believe God is happy when we suffer. Rather, I believe He suffers with us and doesn’t expect us to take it gracefully. Remember that He gave us our emotions so we would know when things aren’t right, and to not feel them means we didn’t obey that all important commandment from Jesus to love. The pain means that you did love, and that is always a right thing to do. These are the times when it’s imperative to have a relationship with the Lord. Believe me, He can take it. He can take your anger, your frustration, your fear, and your sadness. Rant, rave, and rage at him. You can’t hurt Him, but He can heal you if you’re honest with Him and yourself. This is a time when it’s fine to talk and talk and talk –  and then listen for your comfort, in whatever small ways it can be offered. You might be surprised where you find it, too.

I know the outpouring of sympathy when Ollie died touched me as much as his loss. The outpouring of sympathy both from friends in person, online, and even strangers shocked me. It’s usually in tragedy that we bond, and common ground is found in comfort. You may not find the answers, but you could find many other gifts in your suffering that you never expected.

It’s not an answer, but it’s something. Thanks be to God.

A lot of people have a lot of rules about what Christians can and cannot do. No alcohol is probably the one we’re most familiar with, although I’ve heard a laundry list of others: no dancing, no piercings, no tattoos, no secular music, no bright colors – heck, I’ve even heard people say that eggs and peanut butter are no-no’s in their congregation. For every restriction in Leviticus, I believe you can find a modern day “thou shalt not …”

If Jesus came to set the captives free, then it seems that would end the restrictions. His death on the cross ended ritual sacrifices, but it seems that we’ve found a laundry list of ways to bind ourselves up over.

The Ultimate List

It doesn’t have to be this way, because Christ did free us from most of the Old Testament restrictions. In fact, He drilled down the list to eleven items: the ten commandments, and to love one another as He loved us. He never mentioned drinking, dancing, dining, or anything else. In fact, Jesus didn’t give us a “don’t do” list at all. He says heed what God passed down directly to Moses, and love. That’s it.

So why have we developed a restriction list to our faith that rivals the Old Testament ways that we’re supposed to be free of? I think it’s humans doing what they always do – overgeneralizing that if it’s a problem for me; it’s a problem for everybody. There are too many people with a “if I can’t have it then nobody can” attitude, and they’ve managed to wrap this fatalism around false faith.

What You Own; What Owns You

In the  last chapter, I discussed finding your authentic self through surrendering your will to the Lord. If you recall, I closed by encouraging you to embrace what the Lord put in your Heart and to cast off worldly expectations. Now we get to identifying what’s wheat and what’s chaff.

It really comes down to a simple question: what do you own, and what owns you? Galatians 5:19-23 gives a good breakdown of what’s what and how to determine which side of the fence things fall on. Surrender helps you identify what you own; specifically, the combination of unique things that produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life and shine your light into the world. Anything that demonstrates love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control is something you own to spread light and life into the world. Conversely, anything done from motives of impurity, idolatry, hatred, discord, jealousy, rage, selfish ambition, dissentions, and envy own you, and is chaff that needs to be burned up. In fact, one good way to find truth of character is to see which of these traits people demonstrate more of. People walking in the Spirit demonstrate its fruits. People bound by the world don’t.

It seems quite simple and in reality it is, but as with all things, it comes with experience, prayer, and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. You really have to know yourself to sort out what’s wheat from what’s chaff, because most things start out with good intentions that go awry. The road to hell really is paved with good intentions, because that’s the way it usually goes: the devil finds something good in you, and turns it to his purpose because, well, that’s what he does. He can’t create, so he has to twist all good things to wrong. It’s the job or volunteer opportunity that leads to the pride that turns you into a controlling tyrant. It’s the friendship that leads to co-dependency. It’s “being there” for someone having a tough time that turns into an affair. It’s the helping hand that becomes intrusive. I think you get the picture. We have to be so careful and constantly monitor our motives to make sure they stay true.

Good enough, but how do you do that? I recently heard that the average human has over sixty thousand thoughts a day. Do we have to stop and analyze all of them? Thankfully, no. There is an easier way, and we’ve actually talked about it already in Chapter 1.

Discernment

I believe the most overlooked virtue in humanity is discernment. The entire book of Proverbs extols all the good of wisdom, and it’s probably the most ignored book of The Bible, which is a shame because there’s no substitute for good, old-fashioned, common sense. I think it’s because our age of technology and reason has caused us to shut off our conscious and intuition in favor of the click of a mouse. Why think about it when you can look it up online? Why pray when you can post and have feedback in a few seconds? Who’s got time for that? It’s no wonder that people are addicted to their smartphones. We’ve turned them not into a surrogate brain, but a surrogate conscious as well.

Prayer and meditation may not be as fast or fashionable as a video or webpost, but it’s much more reliable and far more real. All that’s on the other end of that screen are human beings, with all of their flaws and weaknesses, and most of them don’t care to fix them because they’re pretty sure they’re right about everything and now they can tell the world that. For this reason, people will always let you down. Nobody’s perfect, and it’s unavoidable that at some point, people will fail. A personal relationship with the Lord and submitting yourself to Him is the only way to gain the wisdom you need to succeed in life and the peace that passes all understanding. Discernment is the Spirit’s gift of wisdom and understanding that helps you perceive and understand the world better, but you can only build it if you unplug from the world and plug into the Lord regularly. It’s not fast food. It’s an investment, and the more you put in, the more it returns.

Pruning

Sometimes, the Lord does call you to give up something that’s harmful or doesn’t serve a greater good in your life. I experienced this recently when I felt strongly compelled to leave Facebook. I like social media as much as anybody else, but I had a nagging feeling that it wasn’t good for me. I was spending too much and personal investment in it, and that wasn’t helping me move toward my personal goal of welcoming more positive energy into my life. In fact, after three months of prayer and meditation, I suspected that it was actually sabatoging my progress in that area. I finally admitted that it was doing me more harm than good and deactivated my account. I immediately felt better, and since that time my mindset has improved drastically. I find that I spend more time writing and reading too, and that brings me  more joy than rants about peoples’ day and pictures of their supper. I feel better than I have in a while.

Notice what I didn’t assume in the above paragraph. I didn’t say that social media is bad. In fact, I’m still on Twitter, have a website and blog running, and am on several other social websites, where I interact with others regularly. I don’t say that Facebook is bad and everybody should quit it. There’s nothing wrong with Facebook and if it’s a place that you find encouraging and helpful then by all means, knock yourself out. Just because it was bad for me doesn’t mean its bad for everybody, so please enjoy it if you like it. I just happen to prefer Twitter myself. It suits me better. Maybe it’s the introvert/extrovert thing.

One person’s virtue can be another person’s vice. The only “once size fits all” rules are the ten commandments and Christ’s encouragement to love one another. The bottom line: keep the commandments, act like a decent human being, and respect others. If you need a “don’t” on the list, then don’t be a jerk.

Sacrifice really comes down to knowing what’s best for us, and isn’t meant to be a burden. Quite the contrary, it’s meant to lift the burden so we can experience peace and joy in life. It’s really not rocket science or brain surgery, although some of us have managed to make it that way. Christ made it really simple but us being us, I guess we do have a way of complicating things. 

Chapter 2 – To Thine Own Self Be True

The concept of surrendering yourself to Christ can be frightening. Certainly, it sounds scary on the surface. What, exactly, does this mean?

I think failure to understand this basic concept is why you see so many “phony” Christians. It’s why you run across so many people that say “Bless You!” and then stab you in the back. It’s why you see hard-sell evangelism knocking on your door, pressuring you to fit into the mold of the “perfect Christian” and saying you aren’t “right” unless you fit the criteria. It’s why there’s so much false piety and so many false prophets watering down the faith and giving Christianity a bad name. And it really pisses me off.

I once read that the account of Daniel in The Bible was toned down drastically from the man’s true personality. It turns out that Daniel was actually a rather bold man that wasn’t afraid to resort to drastic measures to get to his point, but the writer’s of this book toned it down, because they feared that Daniel’s boldness wouldn’t appear pious enough for believers to take seriously. That’s a shame, and if it’s true then Jewish and Christians have been terribly cheated out of knowing the truth about a great figure of our faith. Is it true? I don’t know, but in a way, it makes sense. A person that walked out of a burning furnace and a lions den unharmed and then saw end time prophesey is no meek whimp, and that’s certainly not stuff for the faint of heart. Maybe we wouldn’t have a problem with the lions in God’s kingdom if the accounts of past heroes hasn’t been diluted to death for the sake of piety.

Be that as it may, it is what it is, and we’re left with the question of what surrendering your will really means. Does it mean that we, like these historical accounts, must tone ourselves down and force ourselves into a mold? Absolutely not. If God wanted everybody to be the same, He would have made us clones. Rather, I believe surrender means accepting that you are a unique creation, and finding ways to use what you’ve got for good.

As human beings, we’re far too scared of ourselves. We’re scared of not fitting in and being accepted. Yes, sociology tells us that in order to survive then we must find ways to adapt to groups and live in communities. This is as God intended, but I believe we’ve taken “accepted” way too far. Living in community doesn’t mean fitting into cliques or blindly following a crowd. It means lending your unique knowledge, skills, and abilities to the greater good of all. You do no favors to yourself or anybody else if you sacrifice your authencity to the point of diluting your gifts just for the sake of being liked. That’s ridiculous, and it’s stupid. Yes, I’m getting in your face about this. Different isn’t bad. You just need to learn how you are different (because we all are in some way, whether we like it or not) and how that’s supposed to fit into the big picture.

Surrendering your will means you lay yourself at the Lord’s feet and ask to be molded into His image. And you might be surprised to find that most of the work is already done. He did, after all, make you. Laying down simply means taking stock of what you’ve got, and letting Him show you how to best use it. How do you do this?

Know Your Strengths

One thing I like to tell people is that we’re all some kind of smart and some kind of stupid. Nobody’s good at everything, but everybody’s good at something. What are some of the things you do best, things that people seem to be impressed by? This isn’t the place to play shy. Think about 3-5 things you’re a natural at, things that you do with ease. For example, I’m extremely organized. I mean, organized to the point that if something the opposite of extreme hording were classified as an illness, I’d have it. People usually go between commending me for how neat and organized I am to wailing about how they can’t find anything because they don’t understand how I file and store things. The reason for this, I discovered through meditation and prayer, is because I’m good at seeing patterns. I can find a pattern in anything, even human behavior (I imagine the psychology degree helps). I think the reason I like Game of Thrones so much is because it’s the only thing on television that really surprises me because the author really has a talent for the hidden. I can see how things work and often figure out where they’re going. Sure, I get surprised by the unexpected occasionally. But that’s rare because patterns are patterns, and it’s human nature to stay in them.

We all have one or two things that we’re great at, and it’s a no-brainer to find them. Where the work usually comes in is at the mid-level tasks, the things we’re ok at and could probably get better if we try. This is where most things fall, and this is where some prayer and meditation come into play to figure out which of these we need to build to better talents and which is alright to let go of. This is where it can get confusing, because there’s so much in the world that we can literally become overwhelmed with all the possibilities in front of us.

I once read a suggestion that a good way to take stock is to rate the things you do on a scale of 1-10: 1 means you suck at it, and 10 means you’re awesome. Things on this scale can usually be improved an average of 2 points with dedication and practice, so that gives you a range of reference. If you’re a 5 or above, you can get pretty good at something if you want to dedicate the time and effort to it. Below a 5, and it’s probably not worth your time to worry about. Here are a few examples for me:

Writing is something I’ve always enjoyed. I was drawing in my picture books to expand on the stories before I knew how to read and write. However, love a talent does not make, and throughout school I figure I was a 6 on writing – better than average, but not knocking it out of the park. I never got anything published in my high school literary magazine, and my writing was always received politely but not with overwhelming praise in English classes. When my husband and I got a computer in 2001, I realized that I still had a love for writing, and I wanted to improve on it. I started writing, studying up on writing, and refreshing myself on grammar, spelling, and vocabulary. I did get my first book published in 2004, but still had a way to go before I was at a point where I got published regularly. In 2011, after years of still studying, still working, and advice from people in the industry, I finally got not one but 2 publication offers from epublishers, and it’s been going ever since. I still work on my writing regularly to keep my skill up, but hopefully I’m up to an 8 by now.

Cooking, on the other hand, is another issue. I was probably a 3 on this scale when I first got married, and this is kind because there were some things that even the feral cats refused to eat. In my humble first years of marriage, I tried so hard to become a better cook. I read cookbooks, looked things up on the Internet, and tried recipes on the weekends when I had time to “experiment.” All I got for my efforts was more food the ferals wouldn’t touch and frustration. The problem was that I didn’t really enjoy cooking, and was really caving in to social pressure to become a better cook. See, in the south being a bad cook is akin to losing a limb. Everything is still centered in the kitchen. After a while, I realized that if I cooked well enough to feed myself and my husband, then it was alright. Not everybody is destined to win the prizes at potlucks and publish recipes. I was better off spending my time keeping the house clean and organized (which I’m definitely a 10 at) and working on my writing (8 and building) than worrying about cooking. I have probably gotten up to a 4 on the cooking scale by now. Nobody asks me to contribute to the sick, bereaved, or potlucks, but at least the feral animals do eat it now.

Nobody is supposed to everything, but everybody can do something. Take some time to take stock at what you’re good at and what you’d like to get better at. This is the first step of surrendering will. It’s not so much giving up as it is deciding what to take up, and what to lay aside.

Know Your Weaknesses

By weaknesses, I don’t necessarily mean what you’re bad it (like cooking). This is more about seeing the flip side of your strengths, and where they leave you vulnerable to attack by the devil. The problem with talent is that it can be made a liability, and surrendering your will means knowing where the chinks in your armor are.

I mentioned above that I’m an extremely organized person, because I tend to see patterns in everything. This is good in many practical terms, but it also gives rise to some not-so-pleasant things. Being organized and seeing patterns means I’m a logical person, which isn’t a trait you see often in women. I usually find myself at odds with emotional people, and I get frustrated with people that don’t seem to understand things as quickly as I see them. Simply stated, I have a pride problem. Seeing things in my head as I do, I like to work independently and don’t like for people to question, correct, or boss me around. I’m leery of authority and am quite often on the offensive. It makes me prone to anger, which I know isn’t something I’m supposed to give way to.

We all have issues that we struggle with, and usually they can be tied back to the seven deadly sins: pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth. I identified pride and anger as issues I deal with. Once you know what you’re up against, it’s easier to figure out how to fend off the devil in these areas.

I said above that our strengths can be turned to weakness, and this certainly explains my pride problem. But what about the anger? Well, another way our weaknesses can arise is through seeming “contradictions” in personality. We all have something about ourself that doesn’t seen to quite fit in right, and it can be confusing to deal with. If unresolved, it can cause internal conflict that leads to a weakness.

I’m a borderline introvert/extrovert. Of all the personality traits to be in the middle ground of, this is probably the worst because a person’s inclination in this area is a major determinant of personality. What this means for me is that social situations are unpredictable, because I don’t know which side of the spectrum I’ll be on in any given situation. It also means I have difficulty forming relationships, because people don’t quite know how to take me. I may be extremely talkative when we meet, and then clam up the next time we meet. I’m usually fine once I get out of my shell and get comfortable with people, but unfortunately impressions form fast and most people don’t have time for that – they make a quick judgment and move on. I believe this is a major contributor to my anger issues because I get frustrated with people often over the lack of patience and understanding of this see-saw trait. Sometimes I don’t get myself, and that leads to more frustration! As I recently told Rick, it seems to be a vicious cycle: I come out of my shell and talk to people, they get too comfortable and act like jerks, I wish I never wasted my time, and back into the shell I go. You can see how this becomes a vicious cycle of frustration that can lead to anger issues that arise over and over again.

I only recently came to realize that this could actually be a gift, because I can relate to both introverts and extroverts, and every situation is a new adventure for me. It also makes me a better writer, because I can write from both viewpoints, and the promotional aspect of publication is good for drawing me out at times when I retreated into myself too much, and I need to venture back out into the world. Realizing this is helping me to better understand what leads to my frustrations in getting along with others, and hopefully I’ll continue to make progress in this area. Who knows, I may learn to play well with others all the time yet. Or at least most of the time.

Vice and virtue are often flip sides of the same coin, so it’s important to be mindful of where you’re at and what you’re manifesting to the world. Is it light, or the less swell parts of yourself? Balance is a constant and ongoing issue that we must be attentive to at all times when dealing with our strongest and weakest points.

Interests/Goals

Another part of surrendering yourself is to take stock of your interests and life goals. God puts things into our hearts as ways to manifest our gifts and talents to the world. We’re naturally inclined to people and things that are in alignment with who we are and the purpose we can serve in the world. Unfortunately, the world also has it’s own ideas of how we can serve it best, and this usually isn’t in our best interests – in fact, it can be to our detriment, because it serves others 100% and us none. People talk a lot, and they’re usually better at telling us what’s best for us and what we should be doing than they are at figuring out their own purpose! The problem is that they have no way of knowing what’s in our heart, and they usually don’t care as  long as they get what they want. One thing is for certain: the world isn’t going to look out for you, but God will. That’s why it’s important to guard our heart and our will against outside interference.

I remember that I suffered from discouragement shortly after I turned 30, because I felt stuck in a rut and didn’t know how to get out. It felt like my life had stalled out, and I wasn’t making any progress. After prayer and meditation, I came to the shocking realization that I had been perfectly happy with my life until people started yakking at me about “well, you’re 30 now, so isn’t it time to make things happen? Are you really staying in that same old house/car/job?” I was shocked, because I’m not the type that’s usually influenced by others (in fact, if everybody else is doing it, then that’s usually reason enough for me to stop and think about whether it’s really a good idea, or just being stupid and following the crowd). Furthermore, I was appalled by the fact that people thought I should presume to take God’s place and demand that things happen just because I hit a “certain age.” A look around confirmed that many of these people with their big talk actually wound out in bad situations and circumstances from forcing things in their lives instead of patiently waiting for the right timing, and were scrambling to hold on to them or work things out. To me, it wasn’t worth it. I’m glad I refused to lose my patience and waited too, because sure enough, things started moving in time, and it lasted. I certainly suffered less failure than others who charged ahead because the turning of a calendar page told them to do it. I’m interested to see if this big talk starts again when I turn 40. Keep an eye on my blog. I’ll let you know if it does, and we’ll have some fun with it.

You have to be so careful of what you take into your mind. The only way to know what the Lord has put on your heart is to withdraw into quiet time with Him and discern it through the Holy Spirit speaking through your intuition. As I once heard someone say, just because you can do something doesn’t mean you’re supposed to do it. That’s to true. I remember many years ago when I agreed to do some low-level accounting work because I’m good with math and numbers. I actually did it under the “encouragement” of others who said it would be good at me, but in reality needed one more body in that office counting beans and crunching numbers. I hated it, and unfortunately it was a mistake I spent six years paying for. I still thank God for ending that season of my life, and beseech him to keep that door securely closed, locked, and bolted. Writing and administrative work definitely suit my talents and interests better, and I’m happy doing these things because they’re in my heart.

Surrendering your will is really a sifting process for separating what God put in your heart from worldly expectations. He doesn’t want you to give up anything but what doesn’t fit, and that usually leads to a great deal of relief and joy. In the end, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Common Threads

Surrendering yourself to the Lord really is a process of getting to know yourself and appreciate what makes you unique. It’s about finding your authentic self and exploring ways to bless the world as only you can. The common threads of strength, weakness, interests, and goals make your soul unique, and the process of surrender unlocks your gifts.

Don’t see surrender as a sacrifice, but rather as a process of self-discovery. In doing it, you aren’t just being a disciple of Christ; you’re also being the best “you” possible, and radiating light into the world. And who doesn’t want to shine? 

How are you supposed to develop a personal relationship with the Lord? People tell you this is the number one thing believers need to do, but they never address the elephant in the room of how you relate to a deity. Human relationships are complex enough with the people right in front of you. They take tremendous effort to establish and maintain, and the closer the relationship, the more work it is. And now you’re supposed to make your highest priority relationship with your Maker? To somebody new to this concept, it sounds like being set up for failure. Heck, as a lifelong Christian, it was a challenge to me in adulthood. It took a while for me to wrap my head around the whole thing, and to find a way that worked for me.

People tell you that the key to establishing this relationship is to read The Bible and pray, but they don’t say how this magic is supposed to turn into a relationship. I think it’s because of two things: they oversimplify the concept, and they forget one rather significant aspect to building this relationship that there’s no “how to” instructions on doing. It’s really not rocket science, but it’s not easy either. My hope is to take it step by step to give you guidance on developing your own process on doing what seems to be undoable.

Read the Bible 

This is really the only way to know the Lord, because it’s the only official reference guide that exists. The secret is to find a translation that works for you and to do daily readings. I know there are people that say the King James Version is the only “real” version. That’s hogwash. What good is it if you don’t understand what you’re reading, and what twenty-first century person can really understand that archaic language? I prefer the New Revised Version (NRV). It’s what my church uses, and it’s in plain, modern English, easy to understand. Get a version with footnotes to explain the things that are awkwardly translated, and you have a winner.

As for the time investment, about fifteen minutes a day can get you through the entire Bible in a year. I say “about” because that’s the maximum time investment they’re designed to have for daily readings. I have two Bibles with daily reading plans of this nature, and some daily readings are as little as five minutes (especially in the Psalms). There are many Bible reading plans available, but this is the one that works for me.

Bibles aren’t hard to find. You can read them online, and even sign up for daily readings to deliver to your email box every day. You can download free apps to your phone. And if you’re one of those “I prefer to hold a book in my hand” types, there are countless versions available, from $5 specials at discount stores to fancy large, leather-bound, monogrammed versions that you order at Christian bookstores.

I recently heard on BBN (Bible Broadcasting Network) that The Bible is the most sold and least read book in the world. There’s no excuse for that. With widespread availability, modern translations, and reading plans that can have you through a daily reading while you drink your morning coffee, everybody can find a way to fit it into daily living. It’s not that big of an investment, but it’s one that helps you build the foundation of an eternal relationship.

Prayer 

Certainly you should life up your concerns in prayer, but most people forget that it’s supposed to be a two way communication. How can God speak to you if you’re always talking? Every now and then, you have to quiet yourself and be open to the answers you seek and the insight you need.

God speaks to people in different ways – through thoughts and ideas, insights, music, nature, art, reading, things other people say, or even through mysterious circumstances. It really depends on what speaks to you and how He can reach you. I’ll cover more on uncovering your authentic self in the next chapter.

Many people talk about meditation, and I do believe there’s merit in taking time to withdraw from everything to be quiet and open to inspiration. It’s imperative to me to have at least a few minutes to myself every day; otherwise I get rather cranky because I haven’t had time to “center” and get myself “set” to deal with life and the world. Meditation doesn’t have to take long periods of time and in fact, I grab mine a piece at a time throughout the day: getting dressed in the morning, driving home from work, doing housework, taking a shower, and even taking a few quiet minutes before going to bed. Even five minutes of silence can work wonders for the soul. It can even be helpful to withdraw from the chaos if you find yourself overwhelmed. One frequent practice I’ve always had is to take short breaks for a walk during the workday. I call this my “purge the brain” time, and it’s ten minutes to walk outside and take in what’s happening in the rest of the world: the sky, the trees, the animals rushing around, the sunshine (or clouds), the feel of the air – just reminders that the world is still out there and turning just fine, despite whatever chaos is happening “in there.” God is referred to as “the still, small voice,” so the only way to hear is to turn off the distractions and open yourself to receiving. It’s like a radio: you can’t hear the music unless you turn it on. Well, this is the converse: to hear from God, you have to turn the world off.

Lifting up your requests, cares, and concerns is certainly a wonderful way to connect with God. Just be sure that He has a chance to speak back every now and then. Finding that time could be as easy as putting down the phone or shutting off the television or radio for a few minutes. You’d be amazed at the peace and inspiration you discover from the briefest retreat from the chaos of life.

Intuition – It’s Not New Age Mumbo-Jumbo

Intuition is often misunderstood as some sixth sense or mystical connection with the world, and for that reason it’s often not respected or used correctly. Some people grant it too much power, relying on it as magic. Others shun it as sorcery because Christians aren’t supposed to deal with that stuff. And neither side realizes it for what it really is: the Holy Spirit working in and through us.

The Holy Spirit is probably the most misunderstood of the Holy Trinity, because we just don’t get it. It’s a purely abstract manifestation of the Lord working in us, and for that reason we usually don’t know what to do with it. All we know is that the mind is sacred territory, and we don’t want anything in there controlling us.  Our thoughts are the one thing that only we are privy too, and to find out that something else has access to the most private part of ourselves is uncomfortable.

There’s really no need for this. If you read The Bible, you know that the purpose of the Holy Spirit is to be a “helper” to us. That means it’s a non-intrusive guide that heightens your senses so you can act with wisdom, discretion, and discernment. Think about people you know that often ignore their intuition – what usually happens to them? They don’t use it, so they lose it. Eventually, it never speaks to them at all, and then they’re groping around, dependent on their own senses to navigate a complicated world. It’s like shutting off the GPS in a strange city. Maybe they’ll stumble upon the best thing; most of the time they don’t. It’s potluck. And that’s a heck of a way to live.

If you see intuition as God working in you, then there’s nothing to fear. In fact, it’s a great comfort to know we have a direct line to our Maker that can help us see what’s unseen and guide us on the best path. It’s better than a NOAA Weather Radio – it’s always broadcasting, it always tells you what’s coming up, and when it’s about to get nasty, an alert goes off so you can prepare. Jesus gave us a great gift when He sent the Holy Spirit to help His believers. It’s tremendously valuable once we know and use it correctly.  

On the surface, it can seem like a one sided endeavor. After all, God made you and knows you better than you know yourself, but we do have a choice and sometimes, we unintentionally shut him out. Building a relationship reduces this risk and keeps us open to His will for us, not only in life but in each and every day. One of my daily prayers is for the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me through the day and whatever may come.

Building a personal relationship with the Lord doesn’t make you weird or wacky. In fact, I think it gives you the confidence to be the best you that you can be. It unlocks your personality and allows you the insight to find the best ways to invest yourself, your mind, and your talents in things that will build a better life, both today and in the future.

Think of this as building an antenna or constructing a satellite that will give you better reception. The more you try, the more you hear. Certainly it takes time and effort, just like all relationships, but its well worth it. Be patient, give it your best effort, and you may be surprised to find that talking and listening to the Lord becomes as natural to you as all the other things you do in your daily routine.  

I'm starting another new writing project, and you get to see it from start to finish right here at my blog. It's titled Shatterpoint - Smashing the Christian Stereotype, and I plan to post it here as I write it. That's right - I'm making it available for free, with a chapter an entry. Once it's complete, I'll do the appropriate revisions and offer it as a free ebook through Smashwords. 

This is a short book - it's only 5 chapters, plus an introduction and a conclusion. Bear in mind that this is my first foray into Christian/Inspirational writing in 10 years, and this is an early draft. And now, without further ado, I bring you the introduction to Shatterpoint:

Battleground Earth might not have caught on, but that wasn’t the end. I didn’t achieved my dream of traditional publishing success, but experience and the ebook revolution have granted me the new dream of being an independent author – something that wasn’t possible ten years ago when Battleground Earth was published. I’ve expanded my horizons and found joy in writing mystery and science fiction. I also branched into writing non-fiction articles, and am now an editor for several genres at Readwave.com . I believe these first steps into the world of editing are what caused me to reflect on my roots, and to return to them to address an issue that has plagued me since Battleground Earth was published – the stereotypes of the boring, Bible-thumping Christian with the sole purpose of converting the world. As a lifelong Christian, that stereotype really makes my blood boil. I won’t mince words with you: when people ask if I’m “born again,” I have a hard-to-resist urge to reach for my stun gun. Hard-line evangelism has always aggravated me, and what’s worse is when they keep pushing that “you aren’t the right kind of Christian.” Says who?

No, I don’t have credentials. I’m not a doctor, or a pastor, or even a motivational speaker. My “churchy” activities are being an usher once a month (yes, an usher, not a greeter – I don’t do the “stand around and look pretty” thing well), serving on the Information Technology Committee, and helping with “Share Our Stuff,” a spring and fall event where we collect clothes, toys, and household items from the congregation and give them to the low-income families in our community for free. I am no leader; I’m a servant, and I’m one that’s sick and tired of being gawked at because I don’t fit the image of the “God bless you,” scripture-quoting sheep that people think I should be.

This novella is my opinion on the stereotypes that I’ve faced as a Christian. It’s not scientific, nor is it official, self-help advice. No official inspirational speaker, preacher, station or bookstore would ever endorse this, nor should they. The only thing that makes me qualified to write this is the fact that I’m a lifelong Christian, an independent author, and that I have the audacity to not only do it, but self publish it and make it available to readers for free. That’s right, free. This novella will be released chapter by chapter on my personal blog at www.sherrithewriter.com and then in ebook format through Smashwords and their affiliated retailers once it’s combined, revised, proofread, and been through the appropriate amount of scrutiny to make it “ebook worthy.” I don’t want to sell God. I have a day job and mystery and science-fiction books to sell. This one’s on me.

That being said, this is all advice given in good fun, and as with all advice, you can take it or leave it. I’m just a failed inspirational writer – but that failure has led me to other discoveries that I’d like to share with you now. Like every writer, I hope this will provide you with things to think about and inspiration for your own journey.

Are you still here? Great! Then let’s go!

Move, my latest urban fantasy/mystery novel, is on a virtual tour with a giveaway through Fire and Ice Book Tours this week, and I’d like to dedicate this entry to talking about the interesting paradox in the theme of this book.

The protagonist of this book, Ruby Josen, has a problem. She’s worn out of the same old job she’s had for the past eleven years, but she lives in a small town where opportunities are limited. Her family is gone, there is no potential for romantic relationships, few advancement opportunities, and her only friend is her sometimes outlandish/sometimes reclusive next door neighbor. When she’s turned down for the only job promotion available, she slides into despair.

I already hear the one question you asked about halfway through that paragraph: why is Ruby staying in a dead end life in a dead end town with no prospects? It seems obvious that she has no life left there. Ah yes, but that’s the thing, and in the way of an answer, let me turn the question back on you: how willing are you to not only embrace change, but pursue it? I don’t mean things like a new haircut or a new car, things that seem like big decisions until you settle in and see the change was nothing but a drag-and-drop from there to here. I mean huge, life altering changes that take an anvil to everything you know and leave you with a zillion little pieces to pick up and put together into a brand new life that you no longer recognize?

I think you get my point – Ruby’s quandary isn’t unique. It is, in fact, more common than we realize, because people don’t know how comfortable they are in the stagnation of their life ruts until they’re ripped from them and put on unfamiliar ground. They may hate it. There may be things about their life that they absolutely detest and would be willing to anything to change – to a point. And that’s exactly the thing that Ruby faces when she crosses paths with a mysterious stranger that promises that he can take these things away if only she asks, and asks for nothing in return. She faces the question that so many of us face when life gets stale and we feel restless with what is and apprehensive of what could be if only we got up and made a move – which is worse; the devil you know, or the devil you don’t?

Ruby finds out that the devil she knows has sides she’s never seen when the wish granting has catastrophic consequences. Her rut is starting to cave in on her. She realizes that if she spent as much energy taking a chance on a new life as she did clinging to her old one, then things could be a lot better. She learns that change is the path to a better life. She discovers that standing up to the dragon of fear is less fatal than running from it, because you can’t outrun that fire. You have to steal it’s thunder and make it work for you. That’s the only way to win.

I believe that fear controls people more than anything else. It’s basic psychology that all human beings are motivated by one of two things – rewards or consequences – and it seems that people spend more time running from consequences than working towards rewards. We have it all backwards, and it’s a shame, because you can’t build a good life if you’re too busy running from things to lay a foundation for it.

I have first hand experience with major, life altering change. My job was transferred to a different department and let me tell you, a job change IS a life change. I’ve discussed the many facets of this adventure in this blog many times and won’t bore you with a recap, but I will tell you that it was a tough journey. More than a few people thought I absolutely lost my mind for supporting this move. They thought that I, like Ruby, should fight the battle until it ended in blood or a blaze of glory, but I knew it was useless and shortsighted. I and the others working with me saw great potential and benefits now and in the future. Of course, it was harder than I expected. There were times when I wondered if I made a terrible mistake, or if I was a fool to not put up a fight. It isn’t always easy to take the long view and keep the end goal in mind when right now is being a pain in your butt, but it was well worth it. I wouldn’t go back. In fact, it’s a shame this wasn’t done sooner.

You learn during these times, about yourself and others, and one thing that struck me was how scared people are of change. Most people won’t pursue change. They’ll accept it if it’s imposed on them, as I did, but they won’t actively pursue it “just because.” Change is a lot of hard work, and usually three times more than you see from the beginning (I can attest to that too!). Change has a chance of failure – it might not work out the way you expected, or things might be worse. Then again, failure isn’t fatal. But I think the scariest thing is the one that we hesitate to admit to ourselves: change forces us to become a different person, and we don’t know who that person will be. I can say that I’m not the same person I was four years ago, but I feel better about the person I am. This is a theme I deal with in the sequel to Move that I’m working on now – stay tuned for Obsidian in late 2014 to see how all of this has changed, well, everything!

No, Ruby’s dilemma isn’t all that uncommon. In fact, I believe all of us could see a bit of ourselves in her. Stagnation and change are uncomfortable things to work with, and like all beasts, they have a way of spring up when you least expect it.

Feel free to drop in on the blog stops for Move through July 21, and be sure to pick up your own copy. It’s on sale for $1.50 at Smashwords in all ebook formats through August 1 with coupon code WW75A, so add another summer read to your ereader app. If you don’t do Smashwords, it’s available for $2.99 through Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well. And, of course, if you like it, review it! There. That’s my humble, indie-author groveling for feedback. 

That’s all today. Take care and enjoy the rest of your week.

Bye!

Well, it's been 3 months, and I don't think there's any denying it anymore: my heel pain in my left foot isn't the result of my Vitamin D deficiency, like my doctor originally thought (hoped). I've been on the suppliments long enough that the truth is evident: I have plantar fasciitis. In plain English, that's inflammation of the tendon in my foot. I know how I got it too: it's a combination of having high arches and wearing shoes that are more awesome than practical. 

The good news is that it heals, but I have to take care of the foot. That means no more strappy sandals or high heels this summer, at least. And there we have a problem. Not only am I limited to 2 pairs of Sketchers that I bought yesterday (and for the price I paid for them, those suckers should connect wirelessly to the Internet anywhere I go!), but they look like shoes that everybody else wears. 

Therein lies the problem, because I'm probably the only person in the world that wants to avoid what everybody else is doing. Seriously. I refused to even consider a Toyota Camry in 2006 after the commercial with the store camera where they called for the person in the Camry to turn do something, and everybody left the store. They then proudly announced that they were the #1 selling and most common car in America. Nope, out. As I told Rick, I don't want my car to look like 15 others in the parking lot everywhere I go. And it certainly doesn't - now that Pontiac is dead, there aren't many Grand Prix's to confuse my car with these days. 

I know that I really have no choice and will have to settle for "fitting in" with my footwear for a few months, no matter how it infringes on my authenticity and personality. But then again, I suppose there are many other ways for me to express that:clothes, jewelry, belts, purses, nail polish - hope still lives in many areas. It's really a small price to pay too, all things considered. This is about a 2-3 on my pain scale and a 1-2 on my inconvenience scale. The sprained ankle 5 years ago was a lot more painful, and the tendinitis in my right arm 4 years ago was terribly inconvenient. After seeing 3 people in arm splints at church today, I said ok, at least I can hobble along with this one, because if I can't type then I do have a problem, between my job and my writing. Foot and leg injuries hurt more, while hand and arm injuries are horribly inconvenient and problematic. They garner less pity, too, because people see wrist splints so often that they ignore them. If you're limping, people are more likely to scoot out of the way a little faster. With an arm injury, you just have to whack them with your splint. 

I'm just kidding. Maybe. 

Well, people that think I'm a little too weird should be happy with my shoes at least for the next few months. My feet will "fit in" nicely, although I don't make any promises of blending in any other ways. Oh yes, you'll see the purple nail polish yet, my friends. 

That's all today. Take care, and have a great week. 

Bye!

Last year, I wrote several blog entries on my list of “must read” books in each genre I enjoy. Well, readers are always reading, and today I’d like to share my additions to this list. Unlike the original entries, this isn’t separated by genre – it’s an overall list of books I’ve read in the past 12-18 months that I loved. And now without further ado, get ready to load up your ereader or bookshelf with:

The One Year Chronological Bible NIV – this is the study Bible I’m using this year, and it’s amazing. The New International Bible is my favorite because it’s easy to understand, and having the books organized in chronological order of events as they actually happened and were written makes understanding The Bible so much easier. Plus, the readings are short and only take 10-15 minutes per day (or less in some cases). I not only highly recommend this version of The Bible, but say it’s a must have for those of us that do daily Bible readings. Definitely add this version to your shelf!

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne – this book doesn’t just extol the power of positive thinking, it tells how it works and how to make it work for you. Although this isn’t a religious book, I’ve read many Christian titles that talk about the exact same principles in a Biblical context, and I’ve even had Christian therapists give me some of the exact same advice that’s in this book. Plus, it’s a short, quick read, and if you don’t like to read then there’s a DVD version that says the exact same things as the book does. I’ve often said that changing your thinking can change your life, and this book and/or DVD tell you how to do that. It can change your life in great ways, so go get it. Now.

A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin – if you’re a fantasy fan, this book series is a must read. There are currently five books in the series, but do yourself a favor and buy the entire series, because you’re going to be hooked quick. This is the book series that the HBO series Game of Thrones is based on, and the TV series follows the books well. I’ll warn you that it’s not for the faint of heart, but if you like fantasy then you aren’t the faint of heart type anyway. Reading this book series is an amazing endeavor and you’re going to love it. My only gripe is that The Winds of Winter isn’t out yet, because I want to know what happens next!

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – this book should be a must read for everybody in the workforce, especially people in management positions or above. Yes, it’s an older book, but the principles in it are timeless and still stand up to modern psychology and human relationships. If people took even a quarter of the advice in this book, the whole world would be a better place, and definitely more pleasant. Don’t let the title make you shy away, because it’s a great book that more people definitely need to read.

The Elements of Style by William Strunk – every writer needs to brush up on grammer and style rules on a regular basis, and this brief guide is the perfect thing. Plus, it was updated last year, so you know it  has the most relevant and current information available. A must have on every author’s shelf!


How to Write a Short Story that Works by Michael Allen – if you write short stories, this is the only book you need. I’ve read a lot of guides on writing better short stories, but this is the most comprehensive and has the best advice of how to write a good, solid short story. It’s a bit more expensive for an ebook (about $10) but its well worth it.

I’m always reading, so of course my list of “must reads” is in a state of constant growth. If you’re interested in following the books I read, feel free to connect with me on Goodreads.

That’s all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!