Last night, I took a rare break to watch TV and watched American Haunting with Rick. The episode was about a guy that bought a haunted car. Problem was, the spirit attached to him. The wife insisted on destroying the car, which they did (amongst much drama) but the haunting continued. Nobody could figure out what the problem was. Turns out, he saved some parts from the car and hid them in the garage. I thought, you total and complete idiot. Getting rid of that spirit is like the clearance sale at K-Mart: everything must go. You've gotta crunch the spare parts too. And when a "cleanser" gave him a Circle of Solomon to wear to ward off more spirits (because he became a target through his "spare parts") I thought yea, forget that thing one day and you're back at square one. Crunch the spare parts and get some rock salt, since you seem to be a "Welcome" sign for demons.

How do I know so much about spirits and hauntings? From writing Anywhere But Here and Resonance. Both of those stories included enchanted objects, so I had to research how it happened, and how to get rid of it. Or, in the case of Resonance, how to make it somebody elses' problem.

It's amazing what you learn from writing. You pick up all kinds of fun facts that are only good for your writing. Well, in the case of writing mystery with urban fantasy and sci-fi, you hope it's only good for your writing. I hope I don't have to lay any demon traps anytime soon, although I'll admit that I've had to deal with some people that make me wonder if I need to run for the spray paint or amulets. I've thought it. Haven't done it, but thought it, definitely.

And one more thing: if you think, well they just need to find Jesus - you're right; and you're wrong. People of faith have the biggest targets on their head. If you're faith isn't true or iron clad, you're no better off than anybody else. And if you just use faith as "fire insurance" (as my Sunday School teacher likes to put it), you're the bullseye. Good goobly goo, people stay away from you for a reason. We don't want to be in the line of fire of that. Which reminds me, I had a devil's trap that some friends gave me from Salem, Massachusetts and I need to find that thing. I lost it during our last move.

But demons aren't all that I've researched. Did you know that genies are actually based on an Islamic spirit called the djinn? There are many theories of where they came from. Some sourses said they're the "fallen third" that went down with the devil during pre-creation times. Others say they were created before humans and were banished to what I can best call a "parallel universe" because God thought humans and djinn couldn't play well together. Turns out, not all of the djinn likes humanity. Some did and wanted to help and others didn't and wanted to cause problems. Now they slip through the cracks of the worlds, granting wishes at the price of your soul. Oh no, genies aren't the cutsie things you saw on Aladdin. The djinn episode of Supernatural is more on target. They grant your wish at a horrible price. Think the story The Monkey's Paw, by W.W. Jacobs. Move mixes the good with the bad, and adds the ignorance of the protagonist and the deception of the antagonist in the mix, but I'll leave it to the reader as to whether I went more or less sinister than Jacobs with this work. I'll say this much - it ended differently than I expected. But the ending, in a sick and sad sort of way, worked.  

All of my research isn't about the supernatural, though. I thought I was fairly up on technology, until I wrote Blurry. Boy, did I learn a lot. For example, there's no way to keep up with it. I believe memory capacity is actually required to increase to a certain degree every year or two. I also knew that cell phones weren't secure long before the NSA leak scandal broke. Anybody can track you anywhere through cell phones. And as for my knowledge of firearms, this is where it started: I had to research guns for a scene in this novel. Did you  know that most "amateurs" with guns usually go for handguns, but shotguns actually have better accuracy? 9 mm is pretty common, and it's generally easier for everybody to handle. Don't believe that the smaller millimeter is easier to handle, either, because a .32 or a .380 can blow your hand off. And a revolver of any caliber has a heck of a recoil. Semi-automatics are generally easier on the hands because they absorb some of the recoil from the shots.

Sci-fi can teach you a thing or two as well. For example, many of you know that I wrote my upcoming sci-fi novel, Splinter, a few years ago when I was going through a spell where I was disgusted with pretty much all of life. I was so angry that I wanted to destroy the world, so I did it through writing Splinter during National Novel Writing Month in November 2010. Well, it turns out that destroying the world isn't quite so easy. I'm glad I started planning that novel well ahead of time, because it took me 6 months and a doomsday plot to pull it off. I had to move Heaven and Earth to, well, destroy Earth. For all of you that think the planet is fragile, that's total crap. This is a tough old rock. For all of our problems, I think we're more likely to destroy humanity than we are to destroy the planet. We could all be gone and this world would keep on going. Honestly, we're studying the Book of Revelation in Sunday School right now, and I think that's exactly what it's going to take to take the world down. It's going to require supernatural intervention in systemically breaking us from the top down. The only natural thing that could scorch the planet is the sun going nova. That's how much it's going to take. Yes, we need to take care of the planet, but destroying it? I'm skeptical. We can break it, but we can't annihilate it. Not by our hand. Splinter is coming through Whiskey Creek Press in November.

Yes, it's amazing what you can learn from writing. Sometimes the truth really is stranger than fiction - and sometimes it isn't.

That's all today. I hope you have a great week.

Bye!

Oops, Anthony Weiner did it again. A year after resigning from the House of Representatives over a sexting scandal, he got in the NYC Mayor race – and did it again. And no, he’s not dropping out of the race. His attitude is why should I? I admitted it – again. I apologized – again. You should give me a second chance – again. 

I believe this hits at what’s wrong not only with our political system, but in society in general. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t forgive. We certainly should, and all people deserve a chance to start over and get it right next time. The problem is that we typically forsake discernment in the name of forgiveness. We don’t want to worry about it anymore, so we skip the “demonstrating reformed character” part of the process in the interest of calling it done.  

I read How to Forgive ... When You Don't Feel Like It by June Hunt several years ago, and I was looking back over it for another project recently. It’s a great book and I highly recommend it to everybody, because Hunt clarifies so much about what forgiveness is and isn’t in this book. Best of all, it’s not a long read. One of the things she cautions is to not allow “I’m sorry” to become what I call a “get out of jail free” card. She urges you to remember that forgiveness is something to release you from anger, but it does not absolve you from using wisdom in discerning character and determining the parameters of future relationships – or if resuming the relationship is even wise to do at all (which, in some cases, it isn’t). She states that forgiveness is only one step of a process, and that trust must be rebuilt if a relationship is to be resumed. Specifically, Hunt urges that we look for “observable, consistent behavior to substantiate trust” before we even consider granting privileges after a breech of trust. I think this is perfectly reasonable, and fair. Sure, we all backslide from time to time, but people who are sincere will be quick to repent and get back on track. You’ll see in time who means “I’m sorry” and who uses it as a “get out of jail free” card. And  sadly, there are people that do that. Apologies are nothing but tools to them. I know 1 or 2 people who backslide so frequently and regularly that I can set my watch by their crying/whining fits (and you know that's made it's way into my books - I'd be lying if I didn't say it inspired more than one of my antagonists). “Oops, I did it again” is more than a Brittney Spears song to some people. It’s a way of life. And here’s where we really need to be careful and make sure the radar is on and our senses are sharpened in dealing with anger, forgiveness, and moving forward. 

I know a lot of people are grumbling “well, you don’t trust anybody, do you Little Miss Sunshine?” No, it doesn’t mean that. Actually, there’s a very simple test to see whether you need to put somebody on your radar or not: Look at how they treat those closest to them. They aren’t going to treat you any better than they treat their spouse and/or children, so watch how they treat them and you’ll have a good idea of their regard for people in general. They aren't going to treat anybody better than those closest to them, so if they have blatant disregard for their inner circle then you're asking to build up a lovely knife collection from the ones they will stick in your back the minute it's turned. Obviously, Weiner has little regard for his wife to have done this again. And if he cares that little for her, do you really think he cares for the people of New York City? I have my doubts. Voters would be a fool to believe that that Weiner has anything other than salvaging his political career in mind in this campaign. Let’s hope they remember that on election day. But you never know. Mark Sanford won back his congressional seat last spring, after leaving the Governor’s office in disgrace a few years back. Of course, his wife left him, and other than disputes with her, there have been no further indiscressions (that we know of, anyway). It could be that he’s ready for public office again. Time will tell. Thankfully, Sanford wasn’t running in my district, so I didn’t have to go to the polls and make this determination myself. 

Sure, we all make mistakes. That’s part of being human. We just have to be mindful of learning our lessons and getting back on the right path when all is said and done. And when it comes to trust, we must remember that rebuilding it always takes longer than building it – and the more it’s fractured, the longer it takes to do that. 

Let’s pray the lessons sink in nice and deep, and that we don’t make the same mistakes twice. 

That’s all today. 

Bye!

Or perhaps there's a better way to behead the serpent of anger in my situation, and it can be for once and for all. And perhaps this way doesn't require making quite the mess I anticipated. Rather, it's completely civilized, but people will still squawk. I'll tell you what it is, then I'll tell you why they'll squawk, then how it all ties together.

Exhaustion got the better of me today, so I took the day off to rest and frankly, to think over my life. In pondering why I'm so angry, the final answer came to me, and when it did it was so simple that I was surprised it took this long to hit me. I've spent the last 3+ years changing my life and proving myself to people: proving that I can rise to this new life, proving that I'm trustworthy, proving my worth. But in this "epidemic of quitting" that's been going on the past few months, a realization has slowly been creeping up on me, so slowly that the fundamental question at the core of my anger just hit me over the weekend today.

How many of them have proved themselves to me?

Cue crickets chirping *here*

That's right, very few. Far fewer than have set this sky-high bar they expect me to clear, each and every day. Far more than come in my life wanting things. Far fewer than actually take a second to say "thank you" for my efforts.

I think it's perfectly fair for me to be frustrated and to set my heels and say NO, I will not do any more until YOU demonstrate to ME why I should trust you. I know what you want out of me, but what are you willing to offer that will enrich my life? I see what you get out of me "rising to it," but what do I get out of it? Are you supporting me as I support you? What will I get out of giving you MY all? Do you care about me as a person and my physical, emotional and spiritual well being as much as you care about the feelings you're trying to hold me hostage to? You demand a place in my life - okay, my life is changed. Now what are YOU going to do to show me why you DESERVE this place?

I think makes sense. There are a lot of demands on me and there's no use for me to bust myself up meeting them if there's nothing in it for the greater good. If it's about nothing but serving one person's selfish needs, then it's a waste of time. And the truth is, there are people online that know me better than people that see me every day. There are people across the country - and even across the world! - that are reading and commenting on my writing, and the person slinking up to me whining or demanding my help has never taken 5 minutes to read one of my short stories.

Well, it's time to prioritize my life. Trust is something that has to be earned, and I'm giving people until the end of the year to demonstrate to me why I should maintain the status quo. Why should I keep doing what I'm doing? Give me a reason. Show me why I can trust you and how you're committed to helping me or working together toward a common goal. Remind me of why I agreed to all of these changes in the first place. My New Year's Resolution for 2014 is to clean up my life: to make changes that will prune out what's not producing fruit in my life, and to feed what is. I'm at the stage of my life where time is the most precious commodity that I have, and I simply can't waste it on fruitless endeavors, or things or people that don't give a crap about anybody but themselves. I'm flushing the demon of selfishness out of my life. Nobody's got time for that, and I won't tolerate it any more.

Of course, there are some people that have always been true and trustworthy, and they have nothing to worry about. Nobody online has anything to worry about. This isn't about you. This is about improving my day to day reality and taking stock of what really and truly matters. If my trust is confirmed, then you have nothing to worry about. I will commit to working with you to overcome the things that present potential stumbling blocks on my end. I'll work on my distaste for travel, for starters, and being a harda**, and I have great hopes that the process itself will take me a long way in working through anger issues. But I need a reason. I've proven myself. Now prove yourself. It's not rocket science. Asking for 5 months of observable, consistent behavior to substantiate my trust and your purpose in my life is perfectly fair.

Of course, people will squawk about this because people don't want to be treated fair - they wanted to be treated special. But that's exactly the point. Respect isn't a free gift; it's earned. Anybody that wants a "special" place in a persons' life has to demonstrate it by being there for them in the tough times. Well, this is a golden opportunity to get in my "inner circle." If you're there for me over the coming months while I strive to work through my anger and the confusion it's causing, then you will have earned my trust. And believe me, I'm fierce about defending my friends. My inner circle isn't big, but if you're in then you have an ally that prays for you every day and will stand by you and fight for you to the end. But you have to get there, first. Now's your chance. It's a golden opportunity. It will be interesting to see who takes advantage of it.
 
I would like to thank you online friends and social media followers for hanging in there with me. I know that posting angry blogs and social media updates isn't generally recommended and that you get sick of it, but this blog is also about to be how the reality of my life feeds my writing. I feel I owe it to you to be honest because nobody wants to read sterilized posts, nor do they believe them. Hey, it takes some fire to keep things cooking, right? So far, this whirlwind that's been my life has had a huge impact on my writing. I think anybody will agree that my writing took a darker turn after Anywhere But Here, because that's when all of these changes started happening. I started to see a whole other dimension of reality, and it wasn't always pretty. But Splinter got a contract and people are buying and reading Move, so I know I'm not alone in feelings of anger and confusion over life just being, well, life. There must be others out there struggling with anger and confusion issues - especially given the amount of messages and reviews that describe how they can relate to the struggles my characters face. We all go through seasons of anger and confusion. I hope that, by reflecting it through my writing and telling the "story behind the story" in this blog, it helps others to bridge the gap in their own lives; to find the resolution so they can work things out and get back to a balance of peace and joy in everyday living. But thanks, to all of you online, for being there and your help and encouragement through various stages of this. Rest assured that  this is about my day to day "reality" and in no way, shape or form is reflective of anything that's been said or posted on the Internet. I just hope that you find some help and encouragement for your own journey, or at least understand that my writing has rough edges because I have rough edges. I have flaws and right now, my big flaw is dealing with anger issues. I know it and thank you for being there while I work through it.

I will try. I will give working through this anger my very best shot and I won't quit because I'm sick of it and I don't want to be defeated. I want to be a whole person again, and I'm ready to start the process. But I need the people around me to do their part as well. This isn't a gauntlet being thrown down. It's a better way because I take responsibility for my part and give everybody else an opportunity to clarify their part, which I really do need right now. So bring me to life, folks, and in return you will get the best that I can offer. Because that's my policy: to do and give my best at all I lay my hand to. And now, since I announce this in a public, online forum, nobody has an excuse to say "I didn't know!" It's on the frigging World Wide Web. Anybody that really wants to know me doesn't have to look far to find me. Let's see who's seeking. Let's see who's listening. Let's see who's up to the challenge of demonstrating why rising to this higher ground benefits us all.

This isn't an easy journey, but I'm taking it. Now show me why it's worth it.

That's all today.

Bye!

It seems there was some misconception from my last entry. Apparently, there were some that read it and thought "oh good! She's on a religious journey so she won't fight things. Everything is okay with her so I'm going in and telling her how it is."

Well, I'm in the process of cutting the head off that snake right now. Step carefully, folks. As Bryce said in Move, I'm fixing to make a terrible mess here, and I  pity the ones that must clean it up. Because I won't be the one cleaning up this one. The people that built this house of cards in their heads will. Welcome to my world, folks. That's a bitter taste, isn't it?

Let me set one thing straight now: NOBODY has a right to come into my home or my life and tell me how it's going to be. I'm an educated adult that is responsible, works, pays my taxes, and supports myself. If you want something from me, you WILL be respectful or you will NEVER get it from me. If you're stubborn or demanding, I will break you.

Furthermore, I have no respect for quitters, whiners, or lazy people either. Jesus died to save the world, so I don't have to worry about that job. Get your eyes on Him and making yourself better and off others carrying you on their coattails. I'm not The Avengers and The Justice League rolled into one. The Lord is. Get that right. Stop depending on other people and rise, darn it. I'm not the only one He calls on that journey. If you're a human being, you're called to it too. So if you're around me then lace up the hiking boots and get moving. It's time to rise and I'm not carrying you on this journey; I'm giving you what you need to walk it yourself. I'm sick of other peoples' decisions changing my life. It's something that's become a pattern in my life, but I have a right to say what is and is not acceptable in my life, and this is 100% not acceptable.

And lastly, I will not buy the lie that I don't have a right to be angry. There are times and situations when it's acceptable and justified to be angry, and in fact that anger leads to positive momentum in a better direction. This is one of those times. Yes, I will have to work through it, and I will. But I won't be told that I can't be mad, or that I don't have a right to it. I do. And the people that really and truly care about me and what's best for me know this, understand this, and are willing to help me work through this. In fact, it's times like these that define who makes it into my inner circle. And prunes the outer ones as well.

For those of you that have been following me on social media, I do apologize for spilling this. I know I said a week ago that I was going to log off, and for a few days that worked and it seemed to be alright. But then I posted that last entry and it seems many people saw open season and the serpent came after me with a vengeance. I know what I must do: I must cut off the head and make it die. And when it's infected systems of how things run, I must take on the old Brainiac persona (oops, I wasn't supposed to know that's what my former colleagues called me) and set forth a corrective virus in the machine.

It's not pleasant, and I hate it's come to this. I really wish people weren't so stubborn and selfish that I had to go in and make a mess like this. I wasn't being a smart alec on Facebook earlier today when I said I envied the sweet people that were always so nice and nobody ever felt compelled to be mean, rude, or challenge them. I can't let my guard down for a minute or people try to walk all over me. I'm a bada** because I have to be if I want to be the person the Lord willed me to be. People keep trying to put me down and trap me in a box. So the dragon wakes - and then they aren't glad that they did that. 

Yes, these seasons where we're called to ascend to higher levels are hard. They're painful and it hurts to have to deal with so much. You question yourself a lot and other people see this and try to take advantage of it. They don't realize that attacking when someone is down can actually result in them getting more hurt than if they would have been patient and civilized. In fact, some stubbornness and sassy attitudes have me revoking some privileges, and that's going to be a very ugly and nasty surprise. I hate being like this, but correction is necessary and I'm more concerned with doing what's right and making sure the lesson sinks in nice and deep so it needn't be taught again than being held hostage to emotions.

So there you have it. Spiritual journey doesn't mean wimp that can be molded to selfish desires. And now you know.

That's all today. Have a good week.

Bye!

Can you see the Colorado River in my picture from the Grand Canyon here? If you squint and look really hard, you can see a green triangle down there at the bottom, just right and down of the center of the picture. That’s it. I remember looking at it and thinking “that’s it? That’s the river that supposedly carved out all of this?”

I was surprised, especially when I saw a special on The Grand Canyon on satellite TV a few weeks ago. That’s a huge river! They have rafting trips along it that last over several days. I was shocked to see this huge river with very active rapids. My perception from the top of the canyon was way off. It looked so small from where I saw it, but if I had been down there at it, I would have seen something completely different. Something that was, indeed, capable of carving out that canyon, and a whole lot more. 

I thought about this yesterday as I was reading my devotional. This year, I’m reading A Year with C.S. Lewis, and the reading was from Mere Christianity. He wrote “That is why we must not be surprised if we are in for a rough time. When a man turns to Christ and seems to be getting on pretty well … he often feels that it would now be natural if things went fairly smoothly. When troubles come along – illness, money troubles, new kinds of temptation – he is disappointed. These things, he feels, might have been necessary to rouse him and make him repent in his bad old days; but why now? Because God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level: putting him in situations where he will have to be very much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us.” Today’s reading continued the course by stating that once God starts working on you, He doesn’t stop – ever – until you attain perfection in Heaven. 

That was the word in season that I’ve been seeking. I knew I was getting mired down in things that didn’t really matter. It felt so much like the challenges I face are the same old things, and I wondered why I had to keep going through this, over and over. The devotionals these past two days opened my eyes to the fact that I’ve been mistaking moving up with being stuck and going around the same mountains. It looks the same, but it isn’t. I’m back here not because I didn’t get it last time, but because there’s something else in the situation this time that’s meant to help me rise to a higher level. 

But why is this so? The answer struck me yesterday – or within 30 feet of me, literally – when lightening hit a transformer near the traffic light I was at. I saw that bolt of lightening come out of the sky and blow up that transformer. Good grief! That scared me! I just walked out to my car, griping about how running through the rain and thunder was stupid, and here was an indication of what it really was. I wasn’t so tough. I’m a mere human being, at God’s mercy, and I better be glad for it. And being a human being is exactly why these things happen. Time and chance happen to us all, believers or not, but you can count on the fact that if you accept Christ then the Lord is going to use that time and chance to take you out of your shallow little world and lift you up to higher ground. All of life is an evolution process, of moving up from the level you’re at. We’re meant to keep growing, to keep learning, to keep becoming better people as we experience life. 

To put it in the context of my Grand Canyon illustration, we aren’t supposed to sit by the river, worrying about what it might do next. Yes, it’s carving rock. It’s transforming the landscape. But you aren’t supposed to sit there and wait. You’re supposed to keep climbing and keep rising so you can see the bigger picture of the beauty it’s creating, from the bottom up.

I know a lot of this sounds like so much mumbo jumbo to a lot of people, but this has been a big discovery for me. Frankly, I chose to stay offline for a few days because I knew that my perception of life was off, and I didn’t feel it was fair to spout my thoughts to the world if they clearly were off base. I knew I needed an attitude adjustment, and I needed it soon before my head got bigger than this statue in Scottsdale that shocked me the first time I saw it. That’s a huge head, and if I didn’t get things in perspective then that could have been me! Well, figuratively anyway. And you know that this is exactly what you think when you run across people that are saying "me, me, me" and "I, I, I" all the time, going on about themselves and their problems all the time. Well, now you have a visual for that. People that are all gloom and doom and so sucked into troubles that they can only see the worst in everything are already defeated by life. They might as well rent a digital billboard because everybody can see it, and nobody wants to get sucked into it. I certainly didn't want to fall into that trap.

I think I understand now that trials and troubles are likely more the norm than those quiet seasons. Evolution is a process that never ends, so something is always going to be worked on or worked out. If you put this in context with Lewis’  Law of Undulation from The Screwtape Letters (that life naturally cycles between highs and lows and every human being is at some point in the cycle their entire life), then you get a truer context on how life works. Change will always be there; resistance will always be there; there’s always going to be one more thing to work through; one more higher goal; one more higher standard to attain. As they say, it is always something. But the something that it is isn’t always what we think. The purpose is not to beat you down, or to break you, but to build you up and help you rise to see things more clearly; to see the beauty in what looks like the jumbled mess of life. There’s a method to the madness. We won’t know what it is until we leave this world, but through our experiences we get glimpses of that truth, and of how it all works together. If we put it in perspective, we can allow it to light our  path and feed the hope of our faith, a day at a time. 

You all know that I’m a big believer in the verse in Galatians 6:7  about reaping and sowing, but it goes on to explain that there’s a method even to that madness. Read two verses further and you’ll see that Paul uses this principle not to admonish people, but to encourage us to keep fighting the good fight when he says “and let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9)

Yes, it’s always something. And that’s as it should be. If we persevere, if we take what we’ve learned and allow ourselves to grow, then it’s ascension to a new level. We’ll behold the beauty of what our life is meant to be.   And the raging rivers of life don’t look quite so intimidating from up here if we are truly learning from each experience and rising to new levels. The problems of yesterday should be easier now that we’ve learned from them. They might come back every now and then, but they should get smaller as we progress, because we know how to handle them and aren’t intimidated by those old demons any more.  

That doesn't mean that I'm okay with anything that happens, or that I have a "whatever" attitude toward life. I still have plenty of questions. I still wonder what good some things do, or if it really took quite that much to get me where I am, or where I need to be. I ask "why" more than is probably good for my faith or my mental well being. But I also realize that there are opportunities in every situation, no matter how small. I'm determined to persevere. I'm determined to rise above circumstance and the things that threaten to drag me down. I refuse to be defeated. Jesus died so we could have and enjoy life, and I'm claiming that promise for my life, every day, no matter what the circumstances. Because there is something to enjoy in each and every day, and we can claim it. It all starts with the small things. Never despise them. They build up to the big things, to the ascension that brings us to that higher ground above our trials and tribulations.

In closing, I’d like to say thank you, Lord, for a word in season. I needed it and hope sharing it here helps others to put their own trials into perspective. But about that lightening bolt. Okay, I got it pretty quick. Now let’s leave blowing stuff up to the sci-fi and fantasy books and movies, okay? 

That’s all today. Thanks for hanging in there with me! Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a good weekend. 

Bye!

I'm going to be taking a brief break from social media and blogging this week. It's been a very tough week, and the weekend offered absolutely no relief. In reflecting on how things went so crazy, I realized that I need to draw in and give some things my undivided attention to set them back in order.

This isn't anything serious. Actually, it's not uncommon for me to decide to "unplug" when things fly out of control so I can get a handle on situations and bring life back into balance. I also want you to know that it has nothing to do with family, friends or relationships. Frankly, it's random aggravations that I think can be dealt with swiftly and efficiently, given an intensive dose of handling and attention. Sometimes you have to lay everything aside and take assertive action to put things back in order, and that's the task I've set for myself this week.

I will continue to check my email and to keep up with promotion for my published novels, but I am taking my online time down a notch. I should be back on Twitter, Goodreads, and Facebook late in the week (Thursday or Friday), and resume blogging over the weekend or early next week. Until then, I welcome you to enjoy my works that are already published. Just click on the tabs on this website to see what's "out there" for you to enjoy. And if you enjoy it, I ask that you leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads so others can know too.

Thanks for understanding and take care. I hope you have a good week.

Bye!

First, I shall deal with the pink elephant in the room - the George Zimmerman "not guilty" verdict. I have an opinion on it and, as with all opinions, 50% of you will agree and 50% will not agree. So here it is:

I believe there was reasonable doubt in the state's case, and the jury refused to allow the media, the State, and even the President tell them they didn't have a right to have that reasonable doubt. At the core, this case wasn't about race (although it was made to be a factor, and anybody that says it's wasn't is nuttier than Chinese chicken salad). It also wasn't about race, or about the right to have a CWP and use it (although that, too, was a forced factor). Zimmerman never denied killing Martin. The question was whether Zimmerman was justified in using the force he used in that fight. The jury spent over 16 grueling hours debating it, and in the end they just couldn't determine without any question or doubt that Zimmerman wasn't under threat of great bodily harm.

I'll go on to say this: I work in administrative law with my job in professional licensing, and for all of you that say "but the law is the law!" you're right, and you're wrong. The law IS the law, BUT it's also open to interpretation given the evidence and facts presented. It's extremely difficult to ferret out what it means in each given situation, and for a layperson that doesn't work in matters of the law every day, that's a hard thing do to. Law isn't written in plain English, and "legalese" isn't easy to discern. Those poor juries need somebody in the room with them to interpret what the actual consequences they ponder are, and they don't have it. They're left to sort it out on their own in that room, and to come out with a decision that's going to affect one or many lives. It's no easy task. Remember that a jury of your peers isn't lawyers or experts on law. They're regular people with jobs and lives that said "oh crap" when that summons arrived in the mail, because they knew they were being plunged into a world they know nothing about. They're intimidated by all that's thrown at them and being told to make decisions that will affect other peoples' lives forever after they walk out of that room and go back to their lives. 

To Zimmerman and the jury, I say this: be quiet. Don't talk. People will want your story and it will be tempting to tell it, but given the highly emotional nature of this case, just stay out of it. Keep you head low.

To the media, I say this: smack. It's about time somebody punched you in the face and told you that you don't have a right to make public policy. You got our President elected twice and have forced how much more down our throats by controlling the indecisive. As one that thinks for herself, I'm glad to see you with this black eye. You too need to shut up and go back to being impartial and reporting it "as it is," like you are supposed to do.

Oh, but the fallout. There will be fallout and this is the part I dread. And, if it's anything like the O.J. Simpson case, it will go on for some time. Lord help us all. This particular case is over (no doubt, civil cases will be brought forward now), but the rest of the story is just beginning. God help us all.

Personally, I've really had too much else going on to pay much attention to this case. You know of all the transition at work that's been rocking our world. Well, two of my colleagues are having some health issues, and now we're just praying that we get through this. Honestly, what can we do? We go in each day and do what we can to keep this machine rolling along the bumpy road we're on, hoping and praying that we'll find smoother paths ahead. I have no doubt we will, but it's getting through that's tough.

And you'd think the weekends would be relief, but not this time. Came home from running errands yesterday and there was a dead cat in the road in front of our house. It was Mom's cat, Little Bit. She "adopted" one of the feral cats about a year ago and named him that because he was the runt of the litter, but he grew into a big cat. That cat never really liked me and of course, he got hit in front of my house. So naturally, she's quite upset. Losing a pet is always tough. I helped Dad and Stephen (my brother) bury it. I don't know when it happened. I put our Netflix in the mailbox at 10:30 and didn't see him. We didn't hear anything, but we're pretty far back from the road so we probably wouldn't.

Add to that, our Internet is still spotty at times and they have to come back to "tweak" something with our router. Got an email yesterday that they're coming today, so there went going to church since their "zone" overlaps with that. I really needed church today. Rick's ear and sinuses are bothering him (no doubt, allergy problems from all of this rain, which is causing mold), my acid reflux is giving me fits (no doubt, it's the stress), and we can't get it together. Thank God for getting us through each day, but the aggravations keep mounting. Oh, I've seen worse. I won't call this a "year of hell," but it hasn't been unicorns and rainbows either. I just pray we survive the challenges and make it through.

And we will. I'm down, but not out. This isn't by far the worse I've seen. If I put in into perspective, I'd call this growing pains into what I'm sure is the road to better days and more stability ahead. I'm not broken, not by a long shot. I'm going to hand in there. The Lord's mercies are new every morning and that's what keeps me going, knowing that a better day could be just around the corner. I haven't come this far to be defeated, and I won't give up.

So I'm going to log off. I'm going to make breakfast. I'm going to go to the grocery store, start revisions on Incursion, take care of my home and birds, get on the treadmill, and maybe cross stitch. Tomorrow, I'll work on revisions to Incursion while the termite inspector gives us another 5 year treatment and will go to work when it's done and do what I can. And each day after, I'll take them one at a time, just like this. Maybe if I do that, each day will suck a little less until eventually, finally, we're at better days. Because I fully believe we are on the path to better days. The bumpier the transition, the better the prize. That's my hope. I know the good stuff is coming, if we keep the faith and don't lose heart on the path to get there.

That all, folks. Take care, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and have a good start to the new week.

Bye!

The last few entries have been so serious. But it's Friday, and I think it's a great time to lighten up! So here's some fun stuff about me.

Remember a while back when I started this blog and did my "List of Second Favorites?" I did it at my previous blog on Writing.com and it was quite popular, so I copied it here when I started this blog. Well, I thought about doing a list of third favorites but frankly, I didn't come up with much. Here's what I got:

Color - Green (after pink and yellow)
TV Show - Breaking Bad (after Supernatural and Arrow)
Day of Week - Sunday (after Friday and Saturday)
Genre - Fantasy (after Sci-Fi and Mystery)
Hobby - Counted Cross Stitching. And here's where I tripped myself up, because I said it was third behind writing and reading. Then I realized oh yea, I'm an independent author. I believe the writing has elevated way above hobby phase. So that would put reading at my favorite hobby and cross stitching at second, with no time for a third at all in my life right now.

So that fun list fizzled out. And frankly, you're getting into the "who gives a crap" zone. So here's a few other things about me that perhaps you didn't know.

Did you know I'm a failed Christian writer? It's true. My first book, Battleground Earth - Living by Faith in a Pagan World, was published in 2004. It did okay for a little while, then flopped. I know, it's pretty pitiful to fail at THAT, but after a few years of failing to get real traction in that area, I took a short break and realized that I really like fiction and decided to try that. And the rest is, well, in progress. But so far, it's picked up faster and is rolling along better. And frankly, I enjoy writing fiction more. I don't count out inspirational forever, but the truth is that I have a few too many rough edges to be accepted as a Christian writer. It's fine. There are plenty of other things to write. The mystery is rolling along and I'm excited to be delving into sci-fi (which is my dream!) now. Who knows? Maybe I'll enter National Novel Writing Month someday. I'd certainly like to. It's just a matter of having the right ideas at the right time - which hasn't happened since 2010 when I wrote Splinter.  

You know I like college football, especially the Southeastern Conference. I also like baseball.

I'm a lousy cook, which in the south is like missing a major limb or organ. Women around here LOVE to cook and experiment with recipes, but I just can't seem to do really well in the kitchen. I've tried, but after a while I realized that's why there are so many restaurants around. A lot of people don't believe it and say "well, you just don't LIKE to cook so you don't INVEST time to get better at it." No, that's not it. I really do suck. They don't understand that telling me "a sprinkle of this and a dash of that and cook it until it's done" is like me telling you that to write a novel you start at the beginning and write until you get to the end. We all have things we're bad at, and I'm afraid that's it for me. I can cook well enough for us to get by fine. And as for the holidays and covered dish functions, I'm happy to let the women graced with culinary skills take over and show me how it's done. So I'll have the cleanest house and office in the world, and let others take the cooking honors.

I used to like fishing. I actually took a course on how to fish through my previous department, and I did enjoy it. The problem is limited time and opportunities, and, much like cooking, I wasn't particularly good at it. It's been at least 5 years since I last did it. And frankly, that was also the time they took us to the range and taught us how to fire shotguns and some basic archery, and I liked both of those better than fishing.

I eat popcorn almost every day. I love the stuff! The birds love it too. We enjoy our "popcorn parties."

Speaking of our feathered friends, you know I love them. I get that from my granddaddy, who also loved birds. We were alone in this passion - most of the people in my family are cat people. In fact, my parents and my in-laws feed the feral cats around here. It's probably why their numbers keep growing and growing, and why my birds are getting used to watching cats walk through the yard all the time. But they don't venture too far, because the neighbors on the other side of us have 3 horses. Life outside of city limits is interesting. And as an additional note (that  nobody believes), I've never had a dog. Ever. It's always been birds and cats for me.

I've never traveled outside of the continental United States. Of course, I had never gotten on an airplane until 2 years ago, so that could very well change in time. And speaking of my travels: I loved Arizona, I liked San Francisco, and I hated Miami. Arizona was red rock, blue sky, and beautiful weather in late winter. San Francisco was new and different. But Miami was too chaotic and the food was WAY too spicy and weird.

Okay folks, I think that's enough for one day. I hope this has been a good break from the fluff of fiction and the chaos of reality. Have a Happy Friday and a great weekend.

Bye!

Check out the awesome new cover for Move, courtesy of the brilliant artwork of Tatina Villa. I absolutely love it and highly recommend her to indie authors for their book covers. She's great to work with, she works fast, and her prices are very good! You can check out more of her great cover designs at Vila Designs. I found her on the Smashwords recommended list and I highly recommend her too!

Not only that, but I enrolled Move in the Smashwords Summer/Winter promotion. If you buy it there during the month of July, you can get it for half off - that's $1.50! Just go to Smashwords and enter coupon code SSW50 by midnight on July 31 to take advantage of the promotion. And best of all, you can download it in any ebook format there. So there's no excuse because you can get it for any ereader or computer.

It's some good news this week. I also made some much needed revisions to "Home" this week and have posted it to my writing portfolio at Writing.com .

So, of you've followed me on social media then you know another person in my work section resigned yesterday. I don't want any of you to misunderstand my frustration with this situation. I certainly understand that people have to do what they have to do to make their lives better. I would never blame anybody for taking advantage of an opportunity. My frustration comes from two places: First, after being totally and completely displaced three years ago when my job moved, some of the whining I hear over changes sounds like the girl that complained to me about having sinus drainage after I had just recovered from a stomach infection. A runny nose sounds whimpy when you've been on 3,000 milligrams of antibiotics for three weeks, and are in the  middle of six weeks of treatment for the internal damage and inflammation the infection left behind. And frankly, some staffing rearrangements and reinterpretations of policies and procedures barely register a blip on my personal radar. But it's pulled the rug out from under some people. Good thing they weren't me three years ago. That was the Hammer of Thor smashing my life to smithereens. What would they have done?

So it's perspective. I see things very differently because of my experiences, and I'm sure my boldness also makes me more likely to stand (and respect those who do rise to it) more than those that take the exit route. But then again, there are also times when it's the better part of wisdom to walk away gracefully and stop fighting a hopeless battle. Who's to say what's right? Well, this is where the other part of the frustration comes in.

You are responsible for doing whatever's necessary to make your life better, but you also have to acknowledge an uncomfortable fact: if you make a major life change that forces other people to make changes to their own life that they didn't plan on, they're going to get pissed off. It's not jealousy, as some  people accuse. It's justifiable anger at having their life changed by a decision made by another person. And frankly, it's not a battle you can win. This is a situation where it's 100% impossible to make all of the people happy. You aren't, and you have to live with the fact that some people are going to be mad at you for what you leave behind for them to deal with. What's more, they have a right to be mad. It's a natural response and it's best to let it play out. It's just one of those things that everybody has to deal with on their own and move on the best they can.

I do have faith that things will work out and in fact, I feel very hopeful that we're on the recovery side of all the transition and chaos that's rocked us these past few months. I know I've said many times that I haven't come this far to quit, fail, or give up, and I see signs that others aren't either. I'm seeing strength emerge and courage in the face of uncertainty, and that's a great encouragement to me. Right now, I see the small glimmers of opportunity that, if properly handled, will lead to the great blessings of tomorrow.

We'll get there. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week or even next month, but I see signs of progress. I'm straining to see it, but there's no doubt that it's there. And that's always a good thing. Let's keep our eyes open to those opportunities and we will reap in due season, if we do not lose faith.

That's all today. Have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

So, what's up in your life? Here's a summary of the fluff and stuff that is my life these days. I think these "wazzup" entries are good to let you know what's inspiring my writing each and every day.

Work's a challenge. My boss retired effective June 30, but her last day was actually June 27. I won't lie - it's been a tough year so far for our staff. That's two members of our staff that have left, and two other people in areas that support our programs have also left. 4 people folks. I keep looking for that revolving door so I can seal the darn thing shut. In reality, it's overwhelming. As I told someone last week, every day is a new challenge that has to be conquered. It really is. We're all literally taking life one day at a time now, hoping that eventually it will balance out and stabilize if we just take it as it comes. And I'll be honest with you: this "surviving each day as it comes" is not acceptable to me. It's crap and I don't like it. But I can also whine and complain and kvetch all the time, and it won't change a thing. It is what it is and we have no choice but to take what we've got and make it something better. So I get up every day, and pray, and boldly face the day, believing that one day this too will pass; one day this will work out; one day the load will lighten and we will be back to something that we can call "normal" again. I have to believe that it will. I've been through worse than this and I'm still alive. And I know the Lord wouldn't allow it if it wasn't the path to a better way and a better day. I've done it before, and it looks like I'm called to do it again. It seems a bit soon to me to face radical change again - it's only been 3 years since the last time - but I haven't come this far to fail and be defeated by it. 

At times like this, I'm very thankful for the Law of Undulation. It means that it's literally impossible for this to last forever. Either this will pass, or the world will end and it all goes up in ash. Lovely thought, there. I'm sure we all pray for the former but frankly, there are days that the latter doesn't look so bad. I had a friend that would say "this would be a good rapture moment!" when it got really stressful, and I must admit there have been some of those times too. Of course, I'd remind her that "the Lord isn't letting us out that easy" and we'd all get a laugh. 

So how do I cope? Well, you know me - when the going gets tough, I get writing, and it seems that sci-fi is my go-to genre for times like these. That's okay, because I like sci-fi. I had someone inform me last week that they though it was awful that I was turning to sci-fi and why don't I do romance? So I did the math for them: I like sci-fi + that's what ebook readers are buying + I don't really give a crap what you think because it's not like you actually read a thing I write anyway = I'm writing sci-fi. It's pretty simple, really. People that know me are going to judge my writing based on what they think of me. Strangers will judge my writing by whether or not it's any good. And there are more people I don't personally than I do personally know. It's not vector calculus. 

Rick and I went to the one and only drive-in movie theater a few weeks ago to see World War Z and Man of Steel. We really wanted to see Man of Steel, but it was a double feature and they only let a limited number of people in, so we had to go early and see both movies. I liked Man of Steel, but World War Z wasn't really my thing. I'm not really into zombies, but it seems that's a very popular thing right now. I find it ironic that the brainless, walking dead are popular in a culture accused of "dumbing down." Every time I get in my car, I see brainless activity, and it seems that brain dead crap is always happening in the car in front of me. What's up with that? You wouldn't believe some of the crazy maneuvers I see, and I only have a 10-15 commute each day. It's half of what it used to be, but I see just as much careless driving. It's funny: I know several people teaching their kids to drive and they go on about how driving is a privilege, then they run read lights, swerve lanes, cut off people in traffic, and run Yield signs like they don't exist. There's you're zombies, folks. The brain rots behind the wheel of a car. People ask if I'm afraid to fly and I say no - it's safer to get on an airplane than to get in a car, and I get in the car a lot more often. Why should I be scared to fly? I'm safer at 30,000 feet because those pilots didn't get their license in a Cracker Jack box  like many SC drivers obviously did. 

Zombies driving - that's amusing. You know what's more amusing? People that call and complain about how depressed they are and how awful their life is, and then then they wonder why nobody wants to talk to them. I've heard a lot of people complaining about this little phenomenon lately. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer. There are 4 things that will run people out of your life faster than the Zombie Apocalypse: crying, whining, complaining, and anger. If you're looking to do some housecleaning in your personal life, employ any of these things and that'll do it in swift order. I've seen it happen and will humbly admit that I've made this mistake. I think it took me going through two major life changes and noticing that only my family remained before I realized that I couldn't monopolize everybody with complaining or fussing about the unfairness of life or they'd leave. I've seen other people suffer this same fate by kvetching about their awful  life and crying over the depressing state of things until they raised the rivers to flood stages. I'll even give you a case in point: I know somebody (I promise, not me, but somebody that would bar-b-que me if I mentioned them by name here) that had someone call them every day complaining about being depressed. She tried to cheer this person up to no avail. Finally, one day, the person called while she was in the middle of cooking supper and asked her to come over. The person I know said no, I can't do that, the family will be home soon. "So?" the person said, "I'm depressed! They'll be okay!" That's it, she said. No more. They didn't speak for a while. A couple of months ago, the person I know had a family member get sick. She told this friend, who she decided to forgive and slowly allow back into her life. You know what the friend said? "Oh, stop whining. They'll be fine!" and she curtly said she had to go because she had a visitor and hung up. Do you think the person I know still calls that one a friend? No - and the ex-friend has no idea why she's been cut off!

Addendum: the ex-friend is the one that told me switching to writing sci-fi was awful. Hence, my not caring. I'm pretty sure that if that one were abducted by aliens, they'd bring her back shortly!

The take away: if you want people to be there for you, you have to at least act like you give a crap about them and what they care about. It's my famous tag line: you must at least act like you care even if you don't care about them and their issues any more than you care about the extra 40 minutes in a Martian day. I'll even take it a step further and give you a litmus test: if you're about to call somebody to vent or have a heart to heart, ask youself if you can name two things going on in that person's life that's important to them right now, today, this minute. If you can't, put a sock in it and make the call to find out what's up with them before you commence kvetching. Or read their blog. That'll do it. And don't dare ask for prayers unless you've prayed for others yourself. I know a lot of people guilty of that. Someone asked me to pray for them once. I said sure, remember that I asked for prayers before too. Can I ask that you keep praying? Blush. Oops, forgot. Sorry - but I will! Well, up yours too. You just made the "whatever" list, as in  "Lord, I don't wish them ill, but they're stuck on themself and only You can reach them, so whatever you deem appropriate, do it to lead them to a better balanced life." There. Done.

I know I talk about not complaining too much, and here I am doing it. Guilty as charged. I'm calling it as I see it, but I feel examples are in order and frankly, there are a great number of frustrations in my life now. I'm trying, I really am, to get back in balance. It isn't easy, but I don't give up. I'll just keep writing my awful sci-fi and go on with life :)

We're studying the  Book of Revelation in our Sunday School Class now. It's interesting. It's also hard to take things too seriously when you consider that it's all going up in disaster and flames one day. The problem is that it hasn't happened yet and we don't know when it will, so we're called to keep on keeping on and taking care of this rock we call home until the day comes that we're released through death, rapture, or disaster. Hmm. Those are things you try not to think too hard about.

We just got back from the beach for the 4th of July. We had a good time, but it was typical 4th of July issues: wall to wall people and sweltering heat. There's only one place you can go 4th of July weekend that isn't crowded, and that's church. Every other place is crowded, and you see it no matter where you go. Even here at home it's crowded. However you celebrate, you have to pack your patience. But we did have a good time. We saw the fireworks at Broadway at the Beach and we saw the Good Vibrations show at The Carolina Opry. I really enjoyed that. They played rock songs from the 60's - 80's and put on a great show. If you're in Myrtle Beach, you should see it. I believe they have that show on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays during the summer and Tuesdays and Fridays other times of the year.

But the long weekend is over and tomorrow is back to work time. I shall face the challenges that come and keep working on my writing. And so, it will continue this day, much as every other.

That's all. Thanks for hanging in there, and I hope you have a great week. Here's a video to get us all going.

Bye!