Blog Archives

Got Me Wrong

2/26/2016

I’m not sure why people get strange ideas about me. Maybe they misperceive my reaction to things, or maybe it’s stereotyping gone crazy. Whatever the case, I’d like to let the world know that:

I’m not interested in your dead stuff. After last night’s episode of The Blacklist, I want to say for once and for all to stop with the images of dead people and animals! It’s not cool or brilliant; it’s disgusting and sick! Yes, the reaper swathed a path through my life in 2010-2014. I lost three friends and a parakeet to cancer, my father-in-law to dementia, and various others to ailments related to aging during that time. It was so bad that the staff at the funeral home recognized us, and Rick referred to our church directory at “The Book of the Dead.” Just because death was cleaning out my life doesn’t mean that I liked it or took an interest in the decomposition process, but I guess others did because there was a thing about posting pictures of dead people and pets on social media. Is that really how you want to remember your beloved? I had enough imagery burned in my brain that I could have gone a happy lifetime without, and my readers are getting it back when Fracture publishes later this year. My books already gave beta readers nightmares before, so don’t make it worse. Keep your death photos private, please, unless you want me to write more stuff that you can’t read over meals or before bedtime.
Being in my own world doesn’t mean that I’m oblivious to the world around me. My muse has gotten fat from whispering and idle gossip that you think I don’t hear. While there have been times when I got so sucked into writing that I missed big, obvious things in the world around me, this is a stereotype that people are too fast to slap on me. The truth is that ideas are inspired by reality, so a writer’s eyes and ears are always open. We may not say anything, but we see you; we hear you; and the wheels are turning. Then again, I think people are catching on to this one, because they’re starting to assume that I know things I haven’t been told – see my last entry on that one. Here is a balance that my reality needs work on.
I’m not judging you. People assume that I spend a lot of time to myself because I don’t think they’re “good enough” for me. Actually, I’m a borderline introvert/extrovert, so my level of engagement varies depending on which side wins. I’m not sure which side will win each day, so it’s as much a surprise to me as it is to you. And frankly, it’s aggravating to have one of your most defining personality traits in a constant state of flux, because it makes interpersonal relationships tough except with a select few that “get it.” So if I’m quiet or withdrawn, know that it’s probably because the introvert is winning now, and if I’m chattering your ears off, it’s most likely not because of anything you said or did. I’m not judging you, because I’m pondering my own business and not thinking anything about you at all.
We cancelled our TV service because we believe we’re “better than that.” We cancelled our TV service because the price of TV service is morally objectionable, and we can watch the shows we like through a digital antenna or online services (some free, some paid, but the paid ones are cheaper than a regular service and can be started and stopped). These companies start you out with a great offer for a year or two, and then it shoots through the stratosphere. That’s crazy! Plus, I feel great breaking the TV addiction. I’d rather have freedom with my time and money. I’m hoping that this is a step on the path to wisdom and financial responsibility!
Am I “up to something?” Idle chatter isn’t my style with people outside my “inner circle,” so people are quick to assume that I’m disinterested, angry, or hatching a nefarious plot that’s going to spring something unpleasant or inconvenient on the world. That’s funny. Then again, life is funny and you never know how today’s events will impact tomorrow. The truth is that life is better now than it has been in a long time, and I’m enjoying it and minding my own business. It’s the best way to live, and happy is the path I’m on. Not juicy, but sorry – that’s all I have to feed the gossip mill.

So that’s the scoop. I hope this escorts those “pink elephants” out of the room so we can move on, dive into good books and fun stuff, and enjoy life.

That’s all today. Have a happy Friday and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!

The Facebook Phenomenon

2/24/2016

We recently had something happen that’s a sign of the times. A member of our Sunday School Class moved to a nursing home due to advancing Alzheimer’s and we learned from her grandson in Chicago on Facebook. When I confronted the class about why we learned of this from social media and not in that room, you could hear crickets chirping. Oops. Embarrassing.

Those darn Gen Y’ers and Millennials, right? The only thing is that I was the youngest person in the room, and I’m 40. Substituting Facebook posts for actual communication isn’t a problem with the young. The truth is that we’re all guilty.

Furthermore, we’ve noticed that people haven’t engaged with us as much as usual since Rick joined Facebook in December. “I’m busy” has become a comfortable and frequently quoted reason. To this cliché, I offer another: whatever. First, we’re as busy as anybody else, but have chosen to eliminate these words from our vocabulary because we’d rather take direct responsibility for how we choose to use our time. And second, we’d be there for you, but we aren’t going to shove ourselves down your throat if you choose to run away. It’s a big world, and there are always other people, places, and things to discover. Our purpose for being on social media is to reach out to people that aren’t in our day to day life; folks that care more about the bigger issues moving the world and less about the petty gossip. But it’s cute that you think you’re actually getting the 4-1-1 on our lives on Facebook. Really, everybody knows that Twitter is the place for the mundane day-to-day observations. Facebook is about people you know; Twitter is about people you don’t.

I was hurt by this, but time in prayer and meditation reminded me that my purpose for social media obviously differs from others. I’m online to explode into a bigger world, not implode in an inconsequential microcosm. Outreach is personal choice, and I’m not going to argue yours. So enjoy your own little world, if that’s where you prefer to be. The nature of the universe is expansion, and I intend to go with it and expand into new horizons; not to get stifled by small worlds.

Perhaps this entry is a good catalyst to consider why you’re really on social media. Is it for petty gossip, or to expand your interaction with the world?

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the week.

Bye!

Writer's Block

2/18/2016

Writer's block is real, and it's hit me in full force. It isn't unusual after a big project, and the January rewrites/revisions on The Earthside Trilogy were intensive. At least the effect was delayed this time. It's usually immediate, but I managed to squeeze out a few blog entries and the article to the Presidential candidates before my muse decided to take a vacation this time. Maybe there's hope for me.

It happens. Don't believe the hype that it's a myth. The truth is that you burn out on anything you do regularly - otherwise, people would never take vacations or holidays off from work. I also don't buy the advice that a writer should write every day. I work full time, folks, and my time is too valuable to waste it writing crap that's going to be deleted. I value quality over quantity. I'd rather take the time off to take in life and inspire my muse to return than to force it into submission.

I do like the suggestion in Writer's Digest recently that writers should have another creative hobby that produces tangible results. That makes sense, because engaging in another creative pursuit can give you a much needed change of perspective. I enjoy counted cross stitching during my writing breaks. I even won a second prize ribbon in the 2015 SC State Fair for a Jesus cross stitch, and I'm researching (and attempting to start) jewelry making as well. Swing by SherritheStitcher for more on my crafting hobby. It will keep me creatively engaged until it's time to take up edits on Earthside in April. Well, that and the book reviewing. That is going now, and so far, I love it!

I once heard a preacher talk about needing "new anointing" to continue on our path, but maybe there's nothing wrong with our anointing, and we just need something new to kick start us again. Crafting is that change of pace for me, and I'm sure it will engage and inspire me plenty in the coming months, and beyond.

That's all today. Have a fantastic Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!

Dear Presidential Candidates

2/10/2016

Dear Presidential Candidates:

Welcome to South Carolina! I want to advise you of something as you stump for votes while enjoying a wide variety of Bar-B-Que and country cooking in the Palmetto state: you have your work cut out for you. Not that there’s anything wrong with Iowa or New Hampshire. God bless their tolerance for winter weather, because a few snow flurries cause chaos and threats of runs on the grocery store here. You are in the south now, and the game has changed. In short, you’re going to have to tread carefully and walk a tightrope to catch voters here. Why? Let me give you a couple of examples that are taking place across in and near the Capitol City of Columbia:

First, we’ll take on a local school district attempting to build a new elementary school. It’s the first school they’ve built in decades with a desire to accommodate the growing Hispanic community in the area. The problem: the land is adjacent to a neighborhood for retirees, and the residents of that community are petitioning the district to build a smaller school than planned, which will force many of the older schools to stay operational and deny them much needed facility upgrades. The district needs to accommodate developing technology and a growing population, the parents want a better school for their children, and the retirees want to limit the traffic and noise near their home. How to you achieve all of these goals without alienating a group of voters?

Second, let’s talk about the economy. Washington D.C. tells us that it’s rebounding, but businesses have been moving out of the downtown area because they can’t afford rent. They’re taking to the expanding suburbs, and even moving into houses in residential neighborhoods to keep things moving and to have adequate parking for their clients, because parking downtown is an expensive yet vanishing commodity. The University of South Carolina and attorneys are the only ones that can afford downtown space. The rebounding economy hasn’t found its way to Columbia as inflation continues to rise faster than salaries, and people from the top to the bottom of the economy are looking for ways to cut costs. What are you going to do to stimulate our economy: for the farmers in the rural areas; for the plants in small towns; for the sales and service people; for education; for technology; for healthcare; for emergency services; for communication; for tourism; for trade; for freight and shipping; for executives; for business large and small; for retirees; for real estate; for travel; for moving people and commodities; for construction; for manual labor; for childcare; for eldercare; for law; for the homeless; for the poor; for the rich; for the shrinking middle class; for the local economy; for the state economy; and for all the others that fall in the wide net of South Carolina citizens?

I believe this illustrates the challenge of reaching voters in this small but diverse state. You can’t cater to one group, without alienating another. We have a mixture of it all, from children to college students to adults across all races, professions, trades, ages, and stations of life. Our concerns, priorities, interests, and loyalties are as diverse as our people. Be wary of the appearance of “taking sides” or you’ll lose votes from a significant cross section of constituents. We are a glimpse of the diversity of the United States of America.

You have a wide net to cast in a small state. Good luck walking the tightropes of South Carolina voters as we prepare to voice our opinion from the primaries to the general elections on November 8, 2016.

Days Like That

2/8/2016

There are times like that. You’re frustrated, frazzled, and ready to flush it all. Life takes off. It’s always time to do something. People need your help, but your own requests for assistance go unanswered. You’re sick and tired, but can’t take off the time you need to recover because somebody or something else is more important and gets priority over your needs. The world could go to hell, and that’d be perfectly ok with you.

If you’re lucky, it’s just a day. If not, it’s a season of life. Welcome to what inspiredSplinter and The Earthside Trilogy, folks - and a lot of other books, TV shows, movies, songs, videos, and other artistic endeavors that are hailed at brilliant, inspiring, and relatable. You don’t decide to destroy people and the world (or even part of it) if you’re happy and well-adjusted. And yet, so many people can relate to the art inspired by anger, frustration, fear, or depression. We all have those times when we see the worst in life, people, and/or circumstances and wonder at God’s grace and mercy for not wiping this crap out and starting with a cleaner slate.

Fortunately for me, it was just a busy weekend while recovering from a cold. But still, it created enough spiritual/internal warfare to inspire this entry.

There are times when the world isn’t good to you because it just doesn’t care. The world owes you nothing, and the people in it are so consumed by their own needs and wants that they can’t spare some altruism for yours. And so the clash happens, and you wind out with arguments, disagreements, resentment, and scifi being written (wink). The ugliness of life contributes to the beauty of art sometimes, but that still doesn’t mean that we relish life treating us like crap.

I have learned that there’s one thing you can do when the world doesn’t appreciate you, and that’s to appreciate yourself. If others are too busy granting favor and grace to “better people,” then treat yourself good. Reprioritize based on what matters to you, not to others that can scream loud enough to annoy you. Don’t give a crap about running late. Take yourself out to lunch or dinner. Take a long bath and say to hell with the “to do” list tonight. Read (or write, revise, or edit) another chapter of that novel you love. Pull out an old CD that speaks to you and listen to it all week. Wear your favorite shirt or shoes regardless of whether it’s “good enough” for today’s weather or events. Give up giving a crap for Lent. Now there’s a good one!

The bottom line: when the world stops respecting you, respect yourself. You have to give to receive, and if you aren’t receiving it, then things are out of balance, and it’s time to correct it.Why? Because it’s vitally important to be at your best when the world around you is at it’s worst. The only way to set things right is to get right. It’s all an inside job. Get right inside, and the outside has no choice but to reflect it.

That being said, I do believe I hear a ham sub calling my name for lunch today, and some cross stitching (that didn’t happen over the weekend) is in my future.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a good week.

Bye!

Rocking Boats

2/5/2016

When I was a teenager, people called me a “radical non-conformist” to emphasize my disregard for the “mainstream.” As a young adult, the label shifted to “idealist” and “post-modernist.” I frustrated many people by not going with the flow, and lost count of the number of times I was told to stop “rocking the boat” (one person got so frustrated my individuality that they set that song “Rock the Boat” as their ring tone – I still laugh over the immaturity of it). Now that I’m in the elusive middle age bracket where such labels are too juvenile, people simply go with “interesting.” They’ve given up on trying to box me into their norms and simply shake their heads because I just don’t get it.

You’re darn right about that. I’m 40 years old, and I still don’t understand why being authentic is a problem. I’ll be cheeky enough to say that I hope I never do get it. Each individual is uniquely and wonderfully made, and I don’t understand why people are willing to suppress what makes them special for the approval of others. And furthermore, some choose to accept things that hold them back so they can “fit in.” They could take personal responsibility to be their best and rise above conditions and/or circumstances to become better people, but they won’t for fear of rejection. They reject the unlimited favor of God in lieu of favor from people – people who are imperfect, limited, and whose loyalty wavers depending on what you can do for them today.

That’s a bunch of crap.

What’s wrong with being yourself? It’s a big world in an infinite universe, and it’s an honor to be created with a place and purpose in it, but most people choose to confine themselves to small corners of it. Why? You can be lifted to greater heights than any person can put you in if you patiently work toward the light of truth, keep doing good, and don’t give up. But we’re impatient, and prideful. The world values the small view of today; not the big picture of eternity. The devil has a good thing going on earth, and a lot of people roped into it – even believers. He can’t take a genuine soul, but he can steal it’s purpose, and all it takes is a little criticism or rejection to put you in that box “where you belong.” And too often, we crawl right in it for the sake of false comfort and forsake what we truly are. That is the saddest story in all of creation.

The truth is that there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to purpose or personal preferences – we just get so stuck on ourselves that we don’t respect the differences in others. I talked about this a few entries ago, so there’s no need to recap it, but I will remind you that if people have a problem with who you are then it’s their problem, and they have to deal with it. People will make their own decisions about you, and there’s nothing you can do to change it, so give them something real to love or hate, and stop worrying about it. If being yourself makes you stand out, then the problem is with others, not with you. You can’t rock a boat that you aren’t in – and conforming to what others want from you won’t fix whatever is wrong inside themselves that’s truly making them unhappy. Remember: you can’t bring anything out of other people that isn’t already in there. So stop worrying aboutthem so much, and focus on being you. Yours is the only life you can live, so stop giving your effort and energy to others and start channeling it on making your life the best it can be. Your life is bigger than the petty concerns of conformity, so proudly claim your authenticity and live by it. Destiny won’t come to you. You have to make it through your actions and choices every day.

Call me what you will, but I’m not giving away what makes me unique – especially to people that don’t value or appreciate me anyway. I may not understand the big picture, but I have greater faith in it. God’s favor is the only favor that matters to me.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great weekend.

Bye!

Oldies But Goodies

2/4/2016

I found my old Razr phone during a recent housecleaning. Remember the days before iPhones, when the Razr was the “big thing?” I loved that phone, and not just because it got us through building our home. As flip phones went, it was the most reliable one I had.

Technology is ever changing, but I’ll bet every one of us are holding on to some old tech in our lives. I’m not afraid to admit that I am. Don’t get me wrong: I love technology. My smartphone, laptop, Kindle, Roku, and Apple TV are amazing parts of my everyday life, but there’s some old tech in the way of personal entertainment that I can’t give up, such as:

1. Digital TV antenna. Cutting our TV service was the best thing we did, because most of the shows we love are really available for free this way. Sure, it’s not perfect. The signal tends to go wonky when it rains (much like satellite), but you can get more channels than you realize for a one time investment. We get 25 channels with ours.

2. Paperback books. I love my Kindle. Rick hit the jackpot with that Christmas gift, and I use it every day – but occasionally, I still love to visit the secondhand bookstores and get a paperback. I do mostly ebooks and even publish only ebooks, but I enjoy an occasional throwback to bookstores and paperbacks.

3. FM/AM radio. My workplace (like many others) cut off streaming radio, so if we want tunes, then we have to find our own options. Many people play it from their phones all day, but I don’t want to drain my phone battery. An FM/AM radio with a copper wire wrapped around the antenna (to strengthen the signal) is my solution. Plus, I can keep up with the news while I work. Radio is still a great connection to the outside world.

4. NOAA Weather Radio. Yes, I know there are apps for that, and I have one, but I grew up with a NOAA Weather Radio in my home, and I have one in our bedroom that I listen to every morning while I get ready for work. The birds are so used to it that it actually relaxes them – if they get wound up, I turn it on and that computer voice settles them down faster than anything else! Ok, it relaxes me too. I don’t know why, but I love it.

5. CD and Cassette players.Both of our cars still have CD players, my laptop has a CD drive, the truck has a cassette player, and we use them. We have upgraded our data file backups to external hard drives and flash drives, but still listen to our old CD’s and cassettes in our respective vehicles. And the radio, of course!

I guess we members of Generation X are enough of a mix between the old and the new that both fit into everyday life. It’s too bad I can’t find a way to keep that old Razr phone useful but alas, I’m not savvy enough for that, so I’m seeking a place to recycle it instead.

That’s all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.

Bye!

Lessons From Change

2/1/2016

When I was reorganized at work a year ago, I decided that if change was happening, then I wanted to improve my whole life, not just one part. I’m a classic opportunist, so I saw the change being imposed on me as an opportunity to take stock of it all to make sure that my actions today are leading to the life I want in the future. So I embarked on a journey to get myself and my life in the proper order: I got on a diet and exercise program, I got more aggressive about marketing my writing, and I amped up my efforts to inject the power of positive thinking in every area of my life.

Is my life better today than it was a year ago? Absolutely! Has it been an easy journey? Absolutely not! Any effort to improve life is going to meet with resistance, but those obstacles can serve as inspiration for growth. Here are a few things that I’ve learned on the journey to where I’d like to be:

1. It takes an iron will. A lot of our day to day life consists of habits that we aren’t aware of – until we decide to change them. Suddenly, things that we didn’t give a second thought require more brainpower (and sometimes physical power) than we realize. I had to think about what I was eating, and even had to learn how to cook all over again because cooking and cooking healthy are two different things. I had to motivate myself to exercise before I took to my recliner to write, read, or watch TV (and figure out how to work my workout around my routine chores and errands). I had to find new ways to reach readers, and they’re in habits of being at the same places too, so my promotion had to hit a wider area than before. It was exhausting – and don’t forget that I was also going through a job change, which meant I was being “retrained” because different areas do things different ways. There were many times I felt like running in the road screaming “I can’t do this anymore!” and all that kept me going was my husband, parents, and friends to remind me that today’s hurts would be tomorrow’s better life if I stuck to it through the hard adjustment phase. You are the hardest enemy you’ll fight, and the only way to win is to remind yourself that you’re making better choices and committing to staying the course – repeatedly.

2. Exercise hurts before it helps.You know how people say that you’ll feel better and more energetic if you exercise? That’s 4-6 weeks in a routine. Your body resists change just as hard as your mind does, and it revolts violently when you go from a sedentary to active lifestyle. I thought I had come down with a virus after my first week on T25 because I felt physically ill for several days. Moving up or changing workouts will result in some pain and suffering too, but it’s usually not as bad as when you first start out. One thing I suggest to combat this is muscle milk; a protein mix you can buy in grocery stores or pharmacies to mix with milk and drink after workouts. It’s expensive, but it does combat a lot of the soreness that goes with exercising. Other than that, try painkillers and sticking it out, remembering that it will get better once your body accepts that it isn’t living in a chair anymore.

3. People ignore progress. Don’t be surprised if nobody comments on the progress you’re making. They won’t at first because they see you all the time, and by the time it becomes obvious, they’re usually so surprised that they don’t mention it because: 1. They think they’ve lost their mind for not “getting it” sooner, or 2. They’re jealous because you’re visible proof that you’re doing what they should be doing, and it makes them feel bad. I was so focused on staying my own course that I didn’t notice that nobody commented on my weight loss until somebody said something about it. But then again, that’s as it should be. You’re supposed to be making life improvements for you, not attention from others. If you need external motivation, then find an accountability partner vocal enough to say something about your progress along the way. And if your feelings get hurt because people are ignoring you’re progress, then remember that how how others treat you is a reflection of them, not you.They are just as free to make decisions as you are, so mind your own business and let them work out their problems on their own.

4. Sometimes, the path forward is stepping back. A lot fell out of my life in 2015, both personally and professionally. Life usually progresses and builds on itself, so it’s natural to feel like something is out of place when responsibilities are removed or things go away. Sometimes what fit before doesn’t need to be a part of your life anymore, and it should go away so you can prepare for what’s to come. It isn’t a demotion or a failure – it’s evolution, and I realized that the change was preparation for greater things to come. Plus, nobody can take away the experiences you’ve had or what you’ve learned. They are part of you, and you’re free to apply those things to any and every part of your life where they can help. Don’t limit yourself. You own your whole life, so don’t limit your knowledge, skills, and experience. Open up and let it flow through your whole life, like the whole human being that you are!

5. Progress requires constant recalibration. I think the last point leads to this point. What works today might not work tomorrow. Case in point: my previous writing promotion efforts quit producing results because readers go the same places all the time, and I had tapped out those markets. They don’t move, so I have to if I want to generate more book sales, which means I need to constantly expand and change my approach. Blog hops and author features have done their job, so now I’m expanding out to social media and books show efforts. It’s the same with diet and exercise: eventually, your muscles get used to the routine and you plateau out because they’ve gotten all they can from that one, and you have to change to kick start things again. The nature of the universe is change, so you have to remain aware and alert of the results your efforts produce, and be ready to change when things plateau out. Again, this isn’t failure, it’s simply the chaotic nature of the universe. Opening your mind to knowledge and creativity in your daily round keeps you prepared to make these adjustments with minimal mental or physical struggle, because it’s easier to change course when you’re in motion than it is to get started again from a stubborn rut.

Change isn’t easy, but it’s worth the trouble if you’re willing to focus on your goals and pursue a better lifestyle. The most important things are to be aware of yourself and the world around you, and to never give up. Today’s small step of progress can lead to the breakthrough you’ve spent weeks, months, or ever years working for.

That’s all today. Take care, and have a great week.

Bye!