When you can’t change circumstances, you’re forced to change yourself. I saw this on a billboard on I-95 in Florida, and honestly I think this one needs to be posted everywhere. It’s something I’ve been living for the past year, but I didn’t fully realize that this is the reason why I’ve struggled with the life shifts from Dad’s passing until I saw this billboard. This week, I was asked to do an author interview about Domino and realized that’s exactly what The Sentience Series is about. I thought I was working on a theme of learning to live with things you can’t change and I was - but there's another truth wrapped up in that. When things can’t change then you have to change if you want to move forward and find life on the other side of whatever knocked the hell out of you.
I also think this is why so many people struggle with grief for long periods of time (and not just grief over lost loved ones, but lost opportunities, blessings, or other things in life that we wanted but they passed out of our lives due to circumstances). It’s hard enough to deal with loss, but it’s harder to change yourself. Doing it under those circumstances seems impossible. And yet, that’s exactly what we’re called to do. I once said that changing how you think is the hardest thing we face, and this is certainly the ultimate test of that. It’s hard to let go of what was, especially if you liked it and wanted to keep it. But whining and grieving forever isn’t helpful. If you want to find happiness and joy in life beyond the loss, you simply must accept it and find the blessings that remain so you can work with them – and on yourself – into the new chapter of life.
Worry is a waste of imagination. I saw this on social media yesterday, and wish I saw it a year ago. It might have saved me the in March right when I was faced with going back to post-pandemic life. Worry is something I’ve always struggled with. Dad even told me that I might as well quit with it, because it wouldn’t change anything – and ironically, I learned this lesson from his passing. But framing worry as a waste of creative energy punched my gut right where I needed to be hit. I don’t have time to waste my creativity or my energy that way! I want to channel my imagination toward creating more books and crafts.
Honestly, I think some amount of worry is human nature. We want to be in control of life, but the truth is that we aren’t. We can and should plan to the best of our ability, but worrying about what might go wrong is a waste because we have no way of knowing how life might go bonkers on us. When it does, it’s typically in ways we didn’t see coming anyway. So why bother? And in fact, who has time for that anyway? I think all of us have our hands full managing our own lives and homes. It’s best to accept that we’re imperfect people living in an imperfect world, and deal with things as they come. And for gosh sake, if you’re free of drama, then enjoy it. Don’t worry about how or why the next chaos might come.
I know people mean well when they offer advice, but the truth is that nobody knows what speaks to your soul. Those messages usually come at unexpected times, places, and ways at just the moment we need it.
That’s all today. Take care and stay safe. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.