Answer: I shouldn't. In fact, it's probably more critical now than ever to keep writing. If these darkest seasons are what my readers seek a relief from, then how better to deliver it than to keep producing more content from my own dark seasons? The best stuff is what you can relate to. What gives you insight. What comes from focus and perspective that overlaps your own, and shines light on things you missed. What expands on what you experience in your own reality.
I have to keep moving. It might be difficult, but forward momentum is critical. I don't need to sink deeper in a pit that will make it harder to crawl out of later. I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to walk by faith, and walking by faith is realizing that you don't know it all, but you trust the One walking with you through the journey. Life doesn't stop, and neither will I. I was wrong in my last entry. Stripping down to bare essentials isn't the answer. I've tried that for two weeks, and it isn't working. It's time to get moving again. I must face this reality boldly. I must deal with my emotions. I must experience this reality and see this through with courage and strength of the Holy Spirit, even if it has to drag me through by my hair each day. I refuse to wallow in a pit. It hurts, but I'm getting up and moving. I'm surviving.
The things that break me usually wind out broken. Why? Because my strength is from something bigger that has already defeated this world. I might get knocked down, but I'm not out yet. I'm stubborn that way. I get weary, I get worn out, I get discouraged - and then I get pissed off and get up again, in it to win it and determined to come through to the other side in victory.
I'm not special. In fact, I'm just like everybody else. In fact, I find encouragement in seeing others who have been in similar situations and have come through alright. Eventually, we all deal with sick parents. Some overcome, some don't, and I see all of you who have been through similar trials and are still standing. If you can, then I know I can too. the Lord is no respecter of persons. He helps us all.
Victim is not a word in my vocabulary. I must keep moving forward. I keep living. I keep working. I keep trying. I keep hope. I keep the faith.
This is where I'm at right now. My father is sick. And I'm writing The Sentience Series. This series is a mirror to my life right now. I can't keep it on hold. It needs to move forward, boldly. I'm a writer, and writer's write - especially when the going gets tough. It's what we do. It's no longer on hold. It's time to get moving with it again.
Maybe this is the better way, or maybe there are others. I don't know. I have no idea what will happen, but I do know this: I have faith in my ability to continue to grow and thrive because I have believe in the Author and Finisher of faith.It may end as I hope, or it might not. Either way, I live and I hope for a better tomorrow.
That's all today. Take care. Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.