The prodding began one Saturday in mid-September when I opened my email to discover that a Christmas event we had attended a couple of years ago is coming back to our area. “Order tickets now to ensure a seat and get a discount!” It was the first of two emails prodding me to secure tickets for popular shows before they sold out.
I groaned. Was it already that time again?
I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. Mostly love, because I enjoy time off to spend with my family and get away from “the grind.” It’s a great break and shift from the day to day, and we certainly need it during these shortest days of the year, where it could get depressing quickly if we don’t have something to brighten the darkness. The problem is that I’m an introvert, and all of those disruptions to the routine get stressful quickly. I want to do it all, and love the potential. However, I’m not able to handle too much without burning out or melting down.
I’m surprised it took me until my late 40’s to realize and accept this about myself. Maybe it’s because I’m a borderline introvert/extrovert, meaning that the ebb and flow of the season may hit me different depending on where I am mentally. There are consistent traditions, things I’m used to and ground me into a deeper sense of meaning. But the “extras,” like shows, parties, and other seasonal events – that’s where it sneaks up on me, and probably all of us. The holiday season is tough for introverts. We want to do more but we can’t, and other people don’t understand. I remember witnessing a “conversation” several years ago between an introvert and extrovert that sums this up perfectly:
Introvert: Why do we have to do a party at Christmas? Why can’t we meet at a restaurant in January, or have a spring barbeque?
Extrovert: Because it’s Christmas.
Introvert: Why does it being Christmas necessitate us getting together during the month of December? There’s plenty going on this month. Why can’t we be different and pick another time to gather?
Extrovert: Because it’s CHRISTMAS.
Introvert: If we’re friends, shouldn’t we want to gather all year instead of limiting it to a four week span at the end of the year? I think having something at a different time would make it more special.
Extrovert: No it wouldn’t, because IT’S CHRISTMAS.
Introvert: But we’re all busy. We could relax and enjoy it more any other time of year. Can you really give me another reason why besides it’s Christmas?
Extrovert: BECAUSE IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!! WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? HAVE YOUR STUPID BARBEQUE THIS SUMMER IF YOU WANT BUT IT’S CHRISTMAS!!! STOP RUINING CHRISTMAS!!!!!
He was burned out. She was screaming and near tears, still mumbling about “because it’s Christmas, that’s why.” And so it goes. Because it’s Christmas.
Ok, it’s Thanksgiving, or at least this is what I call “the last normal week of the year,” before the emotional holiday massacre occurs. Or celebrations, depending on your position on the introversion/extroversion scale. I did have my annual “OMG, I’m not ready for the holidays yet!” anxiety yesterday, but I took stock, got organized, and have settled back to my usual spot in the middle of the scale now. Thank goodness. It wasn’t as bad as the past few years and was actually brief, so maybe I’m learning and making progress.
For my fellow introverts, I’d like to share a few tips on how to manage the holiday season better:
I’ve put a couple of links below for you to check out more tips for introverts to handle the holidays, and hope they’re helpful.
So take a deep breath, and let it out. Breathe. We have this week, so let’s enjoy fall fullness and simplicity before we embrace the light and hope of the holiday season. And above all, let us prepare ourselves to know the meaning of the season.
Sadly, our introvert friend from the above conversation passed away a few years ago. The extrovert drifted to another friend group. I hope they know it’s almost Christmas. If they don't, they'll find out soon enough.
That’s all today. Take care, and have a wonderful week.
Bye!
Douchas Psychological Services, Inc – How to Handle Socializing During the Holiday Season as an Introvert: An Introvert’s Guide to the Holidays
Introvert, Dear - A Therapist Explains Why Introverts Might Dread the Holidays
I groaned. Was it already that time again?
I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. Mostly love, because I enjoy time off to spend with my family and get away from “the grind.” It’s a great break and shift from the day to day, and we certainly need it during these shortest days of the year, where it could get depressing quickly if we don’t have something to brighten the darkness. The problem is that I’m an introvert, and all of those disruptions to the routine get stressful quickly. I want to do it all, and love the potential. However, I’m not able to handle too much without burning out or melting down.
I’m surprised it took me until my late 40’s to realize and accept this about myself. Maybe it’s because I’m a borderline introvert/extrovert, meaning that the ebb and flow of the season may hit me different depending on where I am mentally. There are consistent traditions, things I’m used to and ground me into a deeper sense of meaning. But the “extras,” like shows, parties, and other seasonal events – that’s where it sneaks up on me, and probably all of us. The holiday season is tough for introverts. We want to do more but we can’t, and other people don’t understand. I remember witnessing a “conversation” several years ago between an introvert and extrovert that sums this up perfectly:
Introvert: Why do we have to do a party at Christmas? Why can’t we meet at a restaurant in January, or have a spring barbeque?
Extrovert: Because it’s Christmas.
Introvert: Why does it being Christmas necessitate us getting together during the month of December? There’s plenty going on this month. Why can’t we be different and pick another time to gather?
Extrovert: Because it’s CHRISTMAS.
Introvert: If we’re friends, shouldn’t we want to gather all year instead of limiting it to a four week span at the end of the year? I think having something at a different time would make it more special.
Extrovert: No it wouldn’t, because IT’S CHRISTMAS.
Introvert: But we’re all busy. We could relax and enjoy it more any other time of year. Can you really give me another reason why besides it’s Christmas?
Extrovert: BECAUSE IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!! WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? HAVE YOUR STUPID BARBEQUE THIS SUMMER IF YOU WANT BUT IT’S CHRISTMAS!!! STOP RUINING CHRISTMAS!!!!!
He was burned out. She was screaming and near tears, still mumbling about “because it’s Christmas, that’s why.” And so it goes. Because it’s Christmas.
Ok, it’s Thanksgiving, or at least this is what I call “the last normal week of the year,” before the emotional holiday massacre occurs. Or celebrations, depending on your position on the introversion/extroversion scale. I did have my annual “OMG, I’m not ready for the holidays yet!” anxiety yesterday, but I took stock, got organized, and have settled back to my usual spot in the middle of the scale now. Thank goodness. It wasn’t as bad as the past few years and was actually brief, so maybe I’m learning and making progress.
For my fellow introverts, I’d like to share a few tips on how to manage the holiday season better:
- Get organized early. Go ahead and take a look at your calendar. Know what’s coming and how to prepare. You also need to schedule “down time” to recover as much as you need to get those shoe tickets, RSVP that party, or sign up for a dish to the annual holiday party.
- Take some time off just to “be.” I believe this is why people often “bake cookies” the second weekend in December. They’re just done, and need a break. Fine – do whatever “baking cookies” is for you. That time to decompress and relax is just as important as buying gifts and food. You may need to take brief time outs to “bake cookies” throughout the season. That’s ok. Just do it.
- Know when to say “no,” and that you don’t have to justify it. You are not obligated to accept every invite you receive. In fact, you can politely decline and don’t have to offer a reason. Simply say “I’m flattered that you thought of me, but I can’t attend this event. Please keep me on your list for future invites and I hope we can connect again later.” There’s too much going on in too short a period of time. Pick what matters most to you, and delay others for new experiences during a future holiday season. The holidays always come back around.
- Integrate self-care into your daily routine. This isn’t always a bubble bath with wine, or binge watching TV. Sometimes, it means doing what you know is best for you now so future you will thank you later. Visit a friend or neighbor you haven’t seen in a while, go to a restaurant, store, or event that nobody else wants to visit on a “date with yourself,” get enough sleep, wear favorite jewelry or outfits “just because,” take a walk, meditate, engage in a hobby, help your spouse, parent, kid, or friend with something spontaneously, or knock something off your “to do” list that you’ve been postponing. Take at least 30 minutes every day to do something that makes you feel accomplished and good. You need wins every day, so go get them!
I’ve put a couple of links below for you to check out more tips for introverts to handle the holidays, and hope they’re helpful.
So take a deep breath, and let it out. Breathe. We have this week, so let’s enjoy fall fullness and simplicity before we embrace the light and hope of the holiday season. And above all, let us prepare ourselves to know the meaning of the season.
Sadly, our introvert friend from the above conversation passed away a few years ago. The extrovert drifted to another friend group. I hope they know it’s almost Christmas. If they don't, they'll find out soon enough.
That’s all today. Take care, and have a wonderful week.
Bye!
Douchas Psychological Services, Inc – How to Handle Socializing During the Holiday Season as an Introvert: An Introvert’s Guide to the Holidays
Introvert, Dear - A Therapist Explains Why Introverts Might Dread the Holidays
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