1.Coughing or sneezing. In the south it’s common for people to have sinus and allergy problems (especially in the spring or fall), but do it more than once and people are asking “OH MY GOD ARE YOU SICK?” and threatening quarantines, Lysol attacks, or snapping “can’t you DO something about that?” or “don’t you want to go home?” Ok, and who’s going to do the work while I take a sabbatical in the spring and fall while my bad sinuses are acting up? Yea, that’s what I thought.
Bottom line: Anybody that’s battled sinus and allergy problems their entire life know the difference between overactive antibodies, viruses and infections. Do your part by washing your hands and taking care of yourself and we’ll do our part to be responsible enough to take care not to spread germs around.
2.Food allergies. The allergy is merely inconvenient because you have to watch what you eat, but what really makes it difficult is the hysterical reaction you get from others when you disclose it. I’m allergic to pecans, and every year about this time I have to deal with it. One time, a woman actually stopped an entire holiday party with a screaming fit demanding that every item on the buffet had to be checked because “OMG SHE COULD DIE!” after my husband asked if any of the desserts had pecans in them. That was so embarrassing that I decided it might be more helpful for me to carry a tranquilizer dart than an EpiPen to social functions in the future.
Bottom line: My food allergy is my responsibility to deal with and I deal with it. I’m not trying to get attention or asking people to feel sorry for me when I disclose it – I’m trying to take responsibility for my allergy and prevent problems. I'm the only one that needs to adjust to this problem - not you.
3.Having a CWP (Concealed Weapons Permit). It’s funny, because people having firearms in the south is pretty common. In fact, it’s safer to assume people are armed around these parts. But let me tell you, people that have problems with guns are not shy about letting you know all about it, and why they have the problem. We learned this one day last summer when Rick was asked for ID to joined a preferred member club at a store (that shall remain nameless) and accidentally pulled out his CWP instead of his drivers license. Oh, the drama. The woman started out by screaming “I DON’T WANT THAT! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!” and proceeded into a fit of how she couldn’t believe anybody could be ok with having a gun near them, that she didn’t like that there
was probably one in the store right now and (*gasp*) pointing at me and screeching “MY GOD SHE PROBABLY HAS A GUN IN HER PURSE!!” Hyperventilation started at that point and a co-worker literally had to hold her and “talk her off a ledge” while I pondered whether I should talk to Hawkeye or Oliver Queen/Green Arrow about how to get and deliver a tranqualizer dart in these recurring freakouts I keep witnessing. Thank goodness the store wasn’t crowded. I wish I were telling a story, but folks, I can’t make this crap up. This really happened.
Bottom Line: People with a CWP have gone through extensive training to exercise their constitutional right to bear arms and are capable of handling firearms properly and responsibly. And furthermore, you should be glad to have them around. Because they aren’t the ones you need to worry about – it’s the bad guys that got them
on the black market and are using them to commit crimes that you need to worry about. Because CWP holders are doing it legally and are registered. The bad guys - well, who knows?
And by the way, I’m not commenting on whether or not I have a gun in my purse.
4.Being married and not having children. And the longer you’ve been married, the further the jaws drop. People just can’t believe a couple can be married for more than 2 years (or be in their 30’s) and not reproduce. “Are you
kidding? No kids? I mean, where are you at in life?” I’ll tell you where we’re at. It’s at the corner of “all our business” and “none of yours.”
Bottom line: Nobody asked you to justify why you have kids and we aren’t required to justify why we don’t.
Of course, there are a lot of other misconceptions that go with being a childless couple. Let me tell you, people think some crazy things about you when you don’t have kids – but this is best dealt with in a separate blog entry.
5. Turbulence. I've only recently begun to fly and one thing I have noticed is that people don't seem to understand that air moves at high altitudes just as much - perhaps even more - than it does at ground level. And sometimes, it doesn't do nice things either. The good news is that pilots are well trained and know how to handle it. The bad news is that when the Captain says "we're experiencing a little rough air," it seems the passengers around me hear "IT'S COME TO JESUS TIME! REPENT, BE SAVED, AND BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS FOR ALL THE GOOD IT WILL DO BECAUSE YOU WILL SURLY DIE." Well, they acted like that's what they heard, anyway. On the way back from San Francisco people were looking around for their life preservers and Dad and I were laughing saying "good grief, it's just AIR!"
Bottom line: Ok, I understand how it can be tough to remain logical when you're bouncing around in a pressurized tube at 30,000 feet like you're in a clothes dryer but please - you expect people to trust that you know how to do your job right? Well, trust the Captain and Co-Captain to do theirs. And besides, I've been in turbulence twice and I'm not dead. Not that I know of, anyway. So as long as you're not trying to fly through the Frankenstorm, don't worry about it.
I have to say, I don't get it. Why do these things freak people out? I don't know. Maybe I missed a memo somewhere, as the saying goes. Or maybe I'm just one of those freaks that doesn't know well enough when I should be spazzing out.
That's all today. I hope you've enjoyed this fun look at the zany things that make me go hmm. Happy Friday tomorrow and I hope you have a great weekend.