It isn’t just death that can put a damper on the holidays. As I said above, there’s plenty that can go wrong in life, and reality never takes a break because it has no sense of timing or seasons. I’m grateful to see those old fashioned notions that “there are things we don’t talk about” fading, because stuffing in secret so everybody else can do their thing only serves to further isolate the ones who need help the most. We tend to forget that our actions affect others, and sometimes the consequences of them are bigger and more painful for more people than we realize. Pain is an isolating thing that gives people tunnel vision. Unfortunately, that only serves to collapse things into a bigger mess. It turns into self fulfilling prophesies. It’s kind of like the old thing about never saying things can’t get worse, because that’s a challenge the universe is all to glad to take on and prove you wrong.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the magic answer to make it go away. We all have different coping mechanisms, so my ways of coping won’t work for others. Heck, sometimes they don’t work for me, and I’m still searching for the answer on how to make life stop hurting when it sucks. I know you get sick of hearing to “take one day at a time,” but that’s really the only thing I’ve found that works. If you can make today suck less than yesterday, then eventually you’ll get to better days. No, it isn’t immediate, but healing and recovery takes time.
It’s ok if you don’t “feel it” for the holidays. It happens. When something comes around regularly, the law of averages means that they’ll suck every now and then. I’m just glad that there’s more awareness of that now, and people are slowly coming out of their shells to deal with it. Because in the end, bringing things out of darkness and into light is what will truly make a difference. Generosity isn’t always giving out goodies or volunteering. Sometimes, it’s simply the grace and patience to open your eyes and be sympathetic to others. Maybe you can’t save the world or make it go away, but one small gesture of acknowledgement and understanding can make a big difference to making today suck less for others.
That’s all today. Take care. Have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a wonderful weekend.