Scenario #1 – I was asked to give an example of something that could cause interpersonal conflict. My reply was oversharing. I said I felt uncomfortable with people gossiping and talking about personal things in open areas (or places where the walls aren’t real), because I was taught that wasn’t professional or appropriate. I have nothing against people talking, but when I know more about what’s going on with your family than I know about my own, then it’s gone into TMI territory. The reply? “Well, you certainly were raised in a different culture and environment than most women.” They went on to tell me, basically, that I’m a hard nut to crack and that perhaps I need to talk to people more. Yea, if knowing what’s happening in my head means that much to you, then read my writing. Because if I don’t feel like caring and sharing, then that’s all you’re gonna get.
Scenario #2 – I had to go to a grocery store in the high end part of town during my lunch break Monday. This is usually an amusing experience. I was in line behind a toothpick of a woman. When the cashier started checking me out, she stalks up to my bagger and says loudly “I need help getting this outside!” Not a please or anything, and she had 3 bags – in a buggy. She didn’t see the looks she got from pretty much everybody within 5 feet of her because she was too busy sticking her nose up. Yea, she needs help alright. Lots of it. You know, I might have breathed in her direction and given her the heebie-geebie get-a-job-and-clean-your-own-house disease. Eww!
Scenario #3 – The broken record syndrome. When I was young and I’d ask the same question repeatedly because I was too busy rushing ahead to hear the answer, Dad would say “your record’s stuck. Unstick it.” Apparently, other father’s didn’t teach their daughters to slow down and listen, because I’ve had several instances recently where I was asked the same question, over and over, because the person asking it wouldn’t pause long enough to hear and comprehend the answer. In one instance, she asked me the same question 7 times in a row, even though I had told her 6 times that somebody else had the answer. I know that some people think that the spring fever/feeble mind act is cute, but nobody’s impressed. In fact, you look like an idiot, and that’s never flattering. Contrary to popular belief, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and it’s usually the question that’s already been answered. Plus, people take advantage of that. Badly. I bet my repeat questioners have fallen prey to more than a few scams.
So really, what century is it?
Ladies, let me put it like this: I grew up with men. I’m been married for nearly a decade and a half. I work with men. God knows, I’m not an expert on them, but I’ve been around them my whole life and I have learned this: men of my generation (and beyond) don’t want a princess to rescue, they want a companion. They have a lot of responsibility and expectations on them already, and frankly they need support as much as we do, even if they don’t say it (and they won’t. Men aren’t big talkers and you’ll never make them talk more. So give that up, too). It’s alright to have some strength to you. It makes them feel better to know you can take care of yourself and frankly, they admire some spunk and independence. They are real, human beings, not characters in a novel or a movie. They want to be appreciated and respected as much as you do, and that comes easier when they feel they can relate to you – and they can’t do that if they always have to save you, solve your problems, be your brain, or fuel your romantic fantasies.
Sure, we all need help from time to time. But if you’re still clinging to the fantasy of a knight in shining armor rescuing you, consider this: it even takes The Avengers time to assemble. So when the alien invasion comes, you die first. Because I’ll be swinging canned goods and 12 pound bags of parrot food at their heads. I may be screaming “JESUS SAVE US, ITS THE ALIEN INVASION!!” the whole time, but I’ll be shooting while I do it.
The bottom line: it’s the 21st century. Former generations fought for our equality. Well congratulations, they won. Now you have to stand. So stop acting like a bunch of girls and be the intelligent, strong, empowered person you were meant to be. Trust me, the heroes will come running a lot faster if they know you did all you could.
Oh, did I piss you off? Good! Nothing would make me happier than to eat crow and have you prove me wrong. Don't be the damsel in distress. Be the dragon rider taking your throne.
That’s all today. Take care, and have a good rest of the week.