What? What else did I miss this past week?
Plenty, it seems. Grief sucks all the time, but grief during the holidays sucks even more. Not only is everybody holly and jolly while you have a loss, but you wake up from the sorrow funk to realize that your husband is an officer in his Masonic lodge, you have three holiday parties over the next week, your Christmas cards are bordering on being late to get mailed out, somebody has been waiting on you to get back on them about book promotion, you have an article due this week, your groceries are pitifully low, your laundry basket is full, southern California is on fire, and winter came.
Life moves on (obviously!), and I have to get better moving along with it. Honestly, it’s probably for my own good, too. Chloe is still gone and it hurts, but it’s also not going to change. I have to live with this space, and the best way is to keep moving on through the grief, to learn new ways to cope, to live.
And so I shall.
I did stream that episode of Legends of Tomorrow over the weekend. Ironically, one of their main characters died the previous week in the Crisis on Earth X event, and one of the characters said something about putting the grief in a box, putting the lid on it, and locking it because they had a job to do. Obviously, that won’t work. Grief isn’t so easily managed or contained. It must be felt and worked through, and that’s done on your feet in a world that keeps on turning.
Yes, it’s for my own good and the good of all those around me. But I have to admit that it’s nice to be awake again, and to see the world around me still moving. I have a lot of experience with grief, but it’s still good to see that confirmation that life moves on, and I can engage and impact it in good ways. Sure, there will still be guilt, sorrow, and anger to work through, but I can do it with the help of the Holy Spirit, and the support of family and friends.
That’s all today. Take care, and have a good week.