I passed it off as well, it was an in-law, so that’s the difference. Plus, he had dementia, so I probably dealt with his decline a step at a time, like I did with my great aunts when I was younger. But still, it felt weird to be jumping back into all of the various things that make up my life without a hitch while others were getting back in slowly. In fact, just the other day, Rick told me that he was glad my life was going so well, because he felt he coped better by seeing me be my happy self.
That’s when it occurred to me. I am happy. It’s impossible for me to get down and stay down. Sure, I’ve had tough times and struggles, but it seems that I always come to a point where I say “oh, this is crap! Let’s just get on with it!” and I move on. The world keeps turning, after all, and I’m going with it whether I’m ready or not. Even when Ollie died last winter, sad as I was, I made myself get up and get going – to go to work, to be with family and friends, to finish the rough draft of Obsidian, and to keep Nonstop to Nowhere on progress for publication in the Nightlife Anthology. Somehow, getting out there reminded me that I am still alive, and that better days would come. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed in my 39 years on Earth, it’s that nothing stays the same. I read The Screwtape Letters and I know the Law of Undulation. Things are always in motions between peaks and valleys. Some say that means you can’t escape the suffering. I say that means you can’t miss the victory if you keep diligently and faithfully working toward good things.
Perhaps it’s my natural temperament. Dad is also a very contented person. Maybe it’s because of my faith. Maybe I am a ridiculous idealist, as I was often accused of in my 20’s (although it hasn’t failed me in the long term yet). Or maybe I’m just sassy enough to not let the devil win.
People often ask me what’s going on and what I’m up to. Nothing! Well, lots of different things actually, but I can assure you that no real people are being hurt by any of it (I can’t attest to the well being and safety of fictional characters, though). Just because I’m happy doesn’t mean something’s going on, or that I don’t care. In fact, I’m often happy because nothing is going on and things are rolling along fine. In fact, I’ve been sick with lots of minor illnesses lately, so if I wake up feeling good and healthy, that’s reason enough to celebrate.
I know that not everybody is like that and certainly don’t mean to annoy people, but I’m not afraid to smack you with sunshine if the pity party gets too intensive. In fact, here, have a dose right now. Look at the pretty birdies. Zack and Chloe want you to cheer up, give thanks for your blessings, and remember that where there’s life, there’s hope. If you feel like sending popcorn in appreciation for their dose of sunshine, message me and I’ll give you the shipping address. Light butter, please. We don’t want sagging perches!
That’s all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the week.