OMG. For all of you that tell me "oh, you're still young!" that's crap. I got overheated. It took forever to cool off. Rick's sinuses have been giving him grief and my back is so sore that it's been a struggle to move all day. I've been trying to hide it - pride, you know, because I hate to admit that it's getting the best of me, but the truth is that my back has been killing me today. Good grief!
Yea, this wouldn't have bothered me 10 years ago. I might have had some sore arms and been tired, but it would have been gone the next day. Not so this time. I started out ok, but as the day has gone on, I've lost my energy and felt cruddier and cruddier. I didn't know what was wrong until Rick informed me that the yard work yesterday was probably still taking a toll on me. After all, we aren't in our 20's anymore.
Most people complain about seeing those first grey hairs. I'm here to grip about the loss of energy and how much harder it is for me to rebound from pushing myself. Now I understand why both of our parents have hired out the yard work. If this is how it is in my mid-30's, I can't imagine it's going to get any better from here.
Well, crap. How did I get to approaching middle age? A day at a time, I suppose, just like everyone else.
I have to tell you that age isn't something that I give much thought to most of the time. I just keep going on, doing my thing, until something like this happens. These are the instances where I say that age is "the creeper" coming up on me. Most of the time I plug along just fine with little mind to that DOB on my driver's license and CWP until some little thing reminds me that I'm not a kid anymore. Like taking longer to recover from illness and injury. My aching wrist when the weather changes, from that bout with tendinitis I had 2 years ago when I was working on the final draft of Anywhere But Here. An ache here and a pain there. Hearing grunge songs on "remember when?" countdowns on VH1. Things like that remind me that the clock is ticking and time is creeping up on me, slowly now but it's coming, like a thief in the night.
It's not all bad. I have to say that wisdom is an advantage of your 30's. You might be jaded by life and it takes more to impress or excite you, but you're also more patient a understanding. Things don't bother you as much. You know yourself better and find a confidence in that that gives you the boldness to embrace your individuality. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have considered e-publishing 10 years ago, when I started out in writing. I wouldn't have believed that I could learn or do what it takes to be an independent author. But after adopting 3 birds, buying a car, recovering from a stomach infection, building a house, a job move, an in-law move, joining two church committees, and a 3 year dry spell with my writing - yea, I figured why not step outside the box and give it a try. And so far, so good. It's building, and I can tell this is the way for me to go. I didn't believe I could do it on my own until I was knocked flat on my butt and crawled back up again a few times. Then I finally knew who I was and that I could do anything through Christ. Intellectually I knew it all along, but it took life experience for me to really see and believe it.
Still, though, I look at my wedding pictures and know I'll never be that 110 pound pixie again. Not that Rick's complaining about how I look. He's still gracious and tells me I'm beautiful, and I belive he's a good looking fellow. But sometimes that rising number on the size tag in my clothes bugs me and I think, gee, I wish I could have the mind I have now and the body I had at 23. Especially today. Because my back didn't ache so much when I was 23!
Then again, I'd also like to see robot maids, self-cleaning cages, and laptop computers and smart phones with retractable power cords, but that's not happening either. So I suppose the point is that in life you can have it all - but not at one time. Great body and great wisdom come, but not in the same day. And I somehow doubt that robot maids and retractable cords will be around before I hit retirement either. I suppose I'm better off enjoying where I'm at on the path to where I'm going. I know better - I just don't look it!
That's all today. Have a great start to the new week.