Hi everybody, I made great progress on my novel, Move, this week. I thought I'd share another sample chapter with you today. Enjoy!

Chapter 4
                 
Ruby sat at a picnic table at the park Saturday afternoon, enjoying the cool breeze blowing through the trees. It was much more crowded than it had been for the company picnic Thursday afternoon but then again, this event was open to the entire town. Tanger Falls hosted a spring festival every year during the first weekend in May. Although the event was open to the public, it was held as more of a local celebration for the permanent residents to celebrate the slower summer season. Tanger Falls, like many other mountain towns, got the majority of their tourism during the fall and winter, when the area was at it’s peak with changing leaves, holiday season celebrations, and the winter ski season. The spring festival was Tanger Fall’s way of celebrating “getting their town to themselves” for a few months. 
                 
“Wow, it’s so nice out today!” Denise said, sipping a milk shake. “The weather is perfect!”
                 
Ruby nodded. “I’m glad the rain held off. I was afraid we’d be stuck inside after all.” The forecast had been calling for a chance of storms that day but so far, it was sunny and clear. “Do you want to hike one of the trails up the hill? I can find us an easy trail if you want.” Ruby loved to hike. In fact, it wasn’t uncommon for her to hike the trails in the National Forest after work and on weekends during the long spring and summer days. She knew every trail on their side of the forest and many in the Gatlinburg area. 
 
                 
Denise shook her head. “I went jogging every day this week and frankly, I’d like a day off from strenuous activity.” She looked around at the people milling about. “I’d like to see some of the art exhibits at the convention center.”
                 
“Now Denise, you told me I need to get out and you want me to be cooped up in the convention center? I thought we were supposed to forget about work over the weekend. All looking at that stuff would do is remind me of all the meetings and deadlines we have next week.”
                 
“I know, I know, but I love it.”
                 
Ruby peered at Denise over the rim of her sunglasses. “Do you love it, or are you keeping an eye on the local competition?”
                 
Denise rolled her eyes innocently toward the sky. “Um, ok, maybe both.” She sighed. “I tell you what. Why don’t we part ways for an hour or so? You can hike one of the trails, I can scope out what the local artists are up to, and we can meet back here and decide what to do next.”
                 
“I guess that’d be alright. I didn’t dress for a strenuous hike today anyway so maybe I can hike one of the lower trails. It’s been a while since I did the foothills trail back there,” Ruby said, pointing toward the entryway to
the forest. 
                 
Denise smiled and stood. “Thanks! I’ll meet you back here in an hour. And I promise we’ll do whatever you suggest for the rest of the day.”
                 
“Yea, alright,” Ruby said, standing and stretching. She really wanted to hike one of the longer trails, but could see that Denise wasn’t interested. Oh well, Denise was compromising for her by cutting her artistic musings to only an hour, and a shorter trail would be alright with her. She knew she could hike the foothills trail at the entryway of the forest in about half an hour and be back well in time to meet Denise. She wound through the crowd toward the forest entryway, trying not to bump into people. Every now and then she would see
people from work, who would smile and nod, or share a brief greeting. As the got near the trail entrance, she nearly bumped into Cheyenne, who was tugging her son behind her. She was going to speak, but Cheyenne avoided her eye and turned away quickly, tugging the young boy through the crowd and snapping something
about hurrying up. 
               
“Geeze, I hope she didn’t sprain anything trying to ignore me,” Ruby mumbled. 
                 
“I hope she didn’t either,” a voice said behind her. She turned to see a man about her age with slicked back, shoulder length, black hair and piercing blue eyes. 

Ruby blushed. “I’m sorry, I must sound crazy mumbling to myself. I forgot, my friend isn’t with me.”
                 
He smiled. “No worries. I think everybody talks to themselves from time to time.” He extended his hand. “Hi, my name is Bryce.”
                 
Ruby took his hand and shook it. “I’m Ruby. Pleased to meet you.”
                 
“Actually, I should apologize. That was bold of me to butt my way into your musings. I just saw that interaction and it seemed curious to me. You obviously know each other, but she went to great pains to avoid you. Do you have a bad relationship with her?”
                 
“I wouldn’t say a bad relationship. I mean, she’s my boss.”
                 
“Ah, I see.”
                 
“Well,”Ruby stammered, “we haven’t been getting along lately. We used to get along better but some things have happened at work and …” she trailed off and blushed. “I really shouldn’t burden a stranger with this.” 
                  
Bryce motioned to a “Psychic Readings” booth next to the forest entrance. “Actually, it’s my job to help people with their problems. I’d be glad to help. Why don’t you come in?”
                 
Ruby glanced at the booth. “No offence, but I really don’t believe in that stuff.”
                 
“None taken. Come on, have a seat. Tell me about one thing troubling you with your work and I’ll see if I can advise you on how to make it better. No charge.”
                 
Ruby raised an eyebrow. “No charge?”
                 
Bryce smiled. “A free demonstration. Come on, you can take it or leave it. No charge,  no obligation. Just
one thing. Give me a try.”
                 
She sat in one of the two plastic chairs in the booth. “Ok, fine. How does this work. Don’t you look in a crystal ball or draw tarot cards or read a star chart to get my fortune?”
                 
He laughed and pulled his plastic chair so he was facing Ruby. “No, I don’t work like that. I do psychic readings. All I need is to hold something of yours that you wear a lot to focus on your energy. I’ll share some of what I sense. If you still want my help, all you have to do is ask.”
                 
“Ok, what do you want to hold?” Ruby asked. 
                  
“Something with metal works best. Metal holds energy better.”
                 
“What does energy have to do with it?”
                 
“Everything that happens, every experience that we have, is energy. Energy is never lost. It’s just redistributed. Every experience you have becomes part of your energy. Objects that you carry or wear frequently store the most energy because they’re with you through most of these experiences.” He motioned to her right hand.“What about that ring? Do you wear it every day?”
                 
Ruby looked down at the red ring on her right ring finger and slid it off. “Yes I do. This is the ruby ring my mother gave me when I got my associates degree.”She stared at it. “I always meant to go back for my bachelor’s and get a real class ring but never did it. I guess this kind of became my college ring.”
                 
“How long ago did you graduate from tech school?”
                 
“Ten years ago.”
                 
Bryce reached for the ring. “That should do. Let me hold it for a moment.” He put the ring in the palm of his right hand, covered it with his left hand, and closed his eyes. He sat still for several moments; long enough that
Ruby wondered if he fell asleep. She was fixing to poke him when his blue eyes sprang open and he handed her the ring. Ruby shuddered as she took back the ring. It was ice cold. She glanced at it a moment, but didn’t see anything wrong with it. She slid the ring back on her finger and it warmed up again quickly.
                 
“So?”Ruby asked. 
                 
Bryce stared at Ruby. “I’m sorry, it was almost overwhelming. You’ve been through a lot. I see that the past ten years haven’t been easy for you. You’ve experienced a lot of broken relationships and a lot of loss.”
                 
Ruby looked around. “No more than most people, I suppose.”
                 
“Actually for your relatively young age you have lost a lot. I see your mother passed away in a lot of pain a few years ago, and your father is no longer a part of your life. You have no family close to you.”
                 
Ruby looked down. “Mom died of pancreatic cancer five years ago.” She sniffed. “It was awful. Mom, she was my best friend. Sometimes I still can’t believe she’s gone.” Ruby wiped the tears forming in her eyes and looked up. “But she’s in a better place, you know. She’s not in pain anymore and I’m glad. I miss her, but I’m glad she isn’t sick or hurting anymore.”
                 
“What about your father? Who’s this woman he’s with now?”
                 
Ruby grunted. “Dad married Katrina nine months after Mom died.  She was a medical assistant with the Mom’s doctor. This woman …”
                 
“You stepmother.”
                 
Ruby glared at Bryce. “She’s earned no title in my life.”
                 
Bryce leaned back and spread his hands innocently. “My apologies.”
                 
Ruby stared at Bryce a moment. “I believe she had her sights set on him the day Mom was diagnosed. I don’t know if anything was going on between them while Mom was sick. I suspect it could have been. Anyway, she convinced him that he needed to leave Tanger Falls and get away from this place to start over. They moved to Atlanta right after they got married. He’s never come back.”
                
“Have you gone to see him?”
                 
“Once or twice, during the holidays,” Ruby said. “Katrina changed him. I don’t know him anymore. He used to be hardworking and down to earth, but now all he cares about are material possessions and social connections. He’s shallow and superficial, just like her.”
                 
Bryce leaned forward. “Perhaps the pain of losing your mother was so great that he developed this new life to protect himself from grief.”
                 
“Or perhaps he’s selfish jackass,” Ruby hissed. She twisted the ring on her finger.“It doesn’t matter. For all intents and purposes, you’re right. I’m an orphan. My mother died and the father I knew is dead too. I had no siblings and my cousins live all over the southeast and I’m not close to them. So yea, I have no family. All I have is my work and my friend, Denise.”
                 
“What about boyfriends or lovers? I didn’t see any men in your life. I mean, other than your father and people you work with.”
                 
“Tanger Falls isn’t a social hotbed.”
                 
“When’s the last time you went on a date?”
                 
Ruby laughed. “A real date?  It’s been so long that I can’t remember.” She looked down and twisted the
ring again. “I had a boyfriend in college. We dated for a year. He wanted to get married.”
                 
“What happened?”
                 
Ruby sighed. “He decided to join the military and I didn’t want to be a military wife. All that moving around – there’s no stability in that kind of life and that’s not for me. My place is here. My roots are here. He wasn’t
willing to settle here and I wasn’t willing to leave, so that was it. We broke up.”
                 
“Do you know what became of him?”
                 
“He’s stationed in Texas, where he lives with his wife of 6 years and their two kids. Their third child is due in the fall.”
                 
“How do you know? Did you keep in contact?”
                 
Ruby smiled. “Social media.”
                 
“Ah.” 
                 
“I’ve dated a few people but nothing’s worked out. I guess I’ve given up.”
                 
“That’s too bad,” Bryce said, “you’re a beautiful woman.” 
                  
Ruby brushed the hair out of her face. “I was school beauty queen my junior and senior years. Head cheerleader and prom queen my senior year. Voted ‘best looking’ senior superlative. For all the good that all did. All of my classmates are married and have families and I’m still single with no one in my life but my co-workers and my best friend in the apartment next door.”
                 
“What about your co-workers? Any prospects there?”
                 
Ruby shook her head. “All married.”
                 
“How about online dating?”
         
Ruby snorted. “Please.”
                 
“Ok,”Bryce said. “I saw this friend you’ve mentioned a couple of times. So there is someone you’re connected with in a good way in life?”
                 
Ruby nodded. “Yes, Denise. She moved in the apartment next door to me just after Mom died. She’s a graphic designer at the firm where I work. We’re best friends.”
                 
“Then you’re not completely alone. That’s good. Perhaps you’re good for each other. You can inspire and encourage one another in creating a better life.”
         
“I’m not doing so good in that area, as you probably saw.”
                 
Bryce nodded. “I saw a recent disappointment that stung you. It was something at work. Were you passed over for a promotion?”
                 
“I was.” Ruby sighed. “I don’t know what happened. I thought I’d get it. I’ve been working there for eleven years, since they opened. I know the place and the clients better than anybody else. My boss even offered to give me a reference, but when it came time to hire for the position they decided to hire somebody from out of town. They hired a woman from Sevierville, and she’s been awful. She’s changing everything and she’s mean to me.”
                 
“I’m sorry to hear this,” Bryce said. He stared off for a moment. “You said that woman that passed by you a moment ago was your boss?”
                
“Yes, Cheyenne.”
                 
“And she promised to give you a reference for the job?”
                 
“Yes.”
                 
Bryce turned his gaze to Ruby. “I hate to tell you this, but she lied to you. Not only did she not give you the reference, but she helped this other woman get the job.”
                 
Ruby gasped. “How do you know? I mean, how were you able to see that by holding my ring?”
                 
“I can see people that are connected to you in a limited way. But I didn’t see this by holding your ring. That woman, Cheyenne, she bumped against me in the crowd back there. I sensed deception from her. Holding your ring helped me pull the pieces together and see more clearly.” He closed his eyes. “This other woman that got the job – what’s her name?”
                 
“Millie.”
                 
“Yes, I see. Millie is a friend of Cheyenne’s. They went to school together.” He furrowed his brows as if concentrating. “They are going through similar trials and Cheyenne wanted to help her friend. I see they’re both single parents?”
                 
“Cheyenne is getting a divorce. I don’t know about Millie.”
                 
“She has children but never married the father. Something happened – I can’t see it clearly but it seems he left her. There was deception.” He blinked and stared at Ruby. “It seems you’re surrounded by liars.”
                 
Ruby slumped in her chair. “See, this is what I mean. Everybody has an excuse for why they’re doing what they’re doing and keeping me stuck in place. So they’re single moms and I’m supposed to roll over and play dead so they can get ahead?”
                 
“Ruby,”Bryce said, “I’m not telling you how to perceive this information, I’m just sharing what I see. Remember, I asked you here so I could help  you.”
                 
She sighed. “Ok, you said you could help. What should I do? What help do you have to offer?”
                 
Bryce leaned back. “I understand your frustration. You’ve seen a lot of grief and loss in your life, and you deserve better. And you’re right in that their misfortunes are no excuse to mistreat you or anybody else.” He closed his eyes again. “Millie manipulated Cheyenne into helping her get that job. I believe that Cheyenne fully intended and expected for you to get it, but Millie was desperate and wouldn’t let it go until Cheyenne did what she wanted. That wasn’t right. There were plenty of other places where she could have secured just as good a job or even better. She looked to Tanger Falls to run from her problems instead of staying in Sevierville and working them out, and now you’re paying for her mistake. That’s not right.” Bryce opened his eyes, and they flared with anger. “In fact, making others pay for your mistakes is the greatest injustice in life. Millie will pay for this one. I say be patient. By this time tomorrow she will know the error of her ways and it will be set right.”
                 
Ruby stared at Bryce. “Ok, how?”
                 
“What do you mean, how?”
                 
“You said you’d help me. So how is this going to happen? What am I going to do?”
                
 “You aren’t going to do anything. You’re going to go about your life and leave this to fate.”
                 
“Ok, so how’s that going to work by this time tomorrow?”
                 
Bryce smiled, but something about the smile was frightening. “There are many possible solutions. But I will tell you this. Millie is being mean for the sake of being mean. There’s no ulterior motive for it. She’s just being  spiteful. She feels like the world is mistreating her and she has a right to mistreat it back. But she’s wrong.” Bryce reached for Ruby’s hand again and held it. “Don’t worry about it, Ruby.  Fate is a funny thing but it always acts appropriately. I can see that she’s about to move out of your life permanently.”
                 
Ruby shuddered and pulled her hand away from Bryce’s cold grasp and glanced at her watch. “Look, I promised to meet my friend back at the festival and I’d better go before she comes looking for me. What do I owe  you?”
                 
Bryce shook his head. “I said it was free. You honored your part of the bargain by accepting my offer. I’ll honor my part. But please, don’t worry. Things will move in a better direction for you soon.”
                 
Ruby smiled stiffly and waved. “Thanks for your time. It was a pleasure to meet you.”
                 
“The pleasure was mine,” Bryce said, kissing her hand and walking away into the crowd gathering for the children’s afternoon play.
                 
Ruby rushed through the crowd back to the picnic table, where Denise was waiting. Denise stood as she saw Ruby approach. “Hey girl, how was the hike?” She pulled back. “What’s wrong? You’re pale. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
                 
Ruby thought about telling Denise about Bryce, but changed her mind as she saw her friend’s bright smile. Warmth penetrated her and drove out the chill from her encounter with the mysterious man. “It’s nothing. It was just a little chilly in the woods with that breeze blowing. I feel better out here in the sun.”
                 
Denise studied Ruby for a moment, then nodded. “Ok, glad you’re better. How was your hike?”
                 
“My hike? Oh, it was ok. It was revealing. You know how that time alone is. You get some clarity and perspective on life.”
                 
“Good, I’m glad to hear it. So, what’s next?”
                 
Ruby looked at the people milling about. “I think I’ve been outside enough for one day. Why don’t we go see that movie in Knoxville?”
                 
Denise raised an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to stay out of crowds?”
                 
Ruby shrugged. “Well, we’ve been in one here. The only difference is that we’d be in the air conditioning there. And it looks like the weather is nice, so it will be a pretty drive. Why wait? I’d kind of like to get out of town for a
few hours anyway.”
                 
Denise nodded. “I’ll split the cost of gas with you if you’ll drive.”
                 
Ruby smiled. “Ok, let’s go.”
                 
Bryce watched from the edge of the woods as the two women walked away. Everything was set. Now it was time to get moving.


 

So I was off work today for Confederate Memorial Day. I know, I know, nobody's heard of it outside those of us that work for SC State Government. I honestly can't explain it. Several years ago they took away Election Day and our optional holiday and gave us Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Confederate Memorial Day instead. Frankly, I'd rather have election day off but that's the way it rolls round these parts.

Our HVAC unit quit on us day before yesterday. Got home from work on Wednesday and it was a wee bit warm in here. Turns out the unit had a major freon leak and bad coils. They're getting us a new one and will install it tomorrow. Thanks God for His mercies, because the temperature dropped the past few days. Highs in the mid to upper 70's and lows in the 60's. It's gotten a bit above our preference range around mid day, but overall it hasn't been bad. We open the windows when we're home and that helps. The house is getting aired out and the birds seem to enjoy the open windows. They aren't bothered by this at all. In fact, I don't think they're phased a bit. But I thank the Lord over and over for the mild weather and the timing of this (specifically, that it didn't happen when highs are in the 80's and 90's because it has been in the 90's a few times recently). It's been a darned inconvenience, but not too bad. I pray things go as planned and we get the unit installed tomorrow. Rick can't get off work, so I'm the one on home duty for this one. Looks like tomorrow will be a good day to work on Move.

Speaking of Move, the ideas are really coming along. I pretty much have the whole novel mapped out. Of course, there's the issue that I've been sick the past 2 nights with a headache so bad I couldn't possibly look at a computer screen. And I have to work, and of course my poor hands and wrists need a break from typing every now and then. I tell you, I think that if I had a free week I could write the entire rough draft. But alas, I don't, and so I shall peck at it as I can. But that's ok. I don't want to rush this one. I made the mistake of rushing with Splinter to get it done for National Novel Writing Month and I don't want to do that again. I'm glad I entered that because it was one of those things I always eyed NaNo with great interest, but it's really not suitable for a person with a home, family nearby, and full time job - especially in November when Thanksgiving rolls around. But having to pound out 50,000 words in a month was just stressful. I'm not doing that again, at least not while I'm working full time. I really enjoyed writing Anywhere But Here and Blurry, and I believe it was because I took my time and that allowed me to enjoy the process of having the ideas develop and the story come to life. So I'm taking my time and so far I have been enjoyed working on Move.

Believe it or not, I already have an idea for my next book. I don't know if I've mentioned this (I don't think I have), but I've recently pondered a return to  non-fiction. Well, today I was in Barnes & Noble and while walking past pet books I had the idea: Why don't I write a book about having birds as pets? I know I don't have a biology degree and I'm not a vet, but goodness, I've had 6 birds in my life. I think, at least from the petowner perspective, I'm certainly experienced. It's a general idea now, but it has me intrigued. I'll ponder this further and if I'm able to brainstorm some ideas then I'll take a shot at drafting this one after I get the rough draft of Move done.

And if that works it really will be interesting and a new experience, because I've always worked on one book at a time, from rough draft to final draft. I've just never had 2 book ideas at once. This is a new thing, and frankly I find it exciting! It's great to have the Spirit inspiring me so much again. I haven't really written much since Anywhere But Here, with personal life changes and then getting published - so it's great to be actually writing again and have the ideas coming. I say keep that inspiration flowing and keep the ideas coming, Lord!

I am feeling better with my sinus infection today. No more headache, sneezing or congestion. I still feel a bit feverish from time to time, and I'm slow and tire easily, but overall I'm much better. The antibiotic has worked quickly and I'm thankful for that too!

That's all for today. Take care all.  I hope you have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend.

Bye!

Hi everybody, I'm excited to announce that I officially started the rough draft of my next novel tonight! The working title for this book is Move, and wow, it's going to be a wild ride. I'd like to share bits and pieces of the manuscript here as I work on it because I'd really like to share the journey I take with this book. Because a book is journey for both writer and reader. Often the reader only experiences the final draft, but I'd like to share the entire ride with you.

Here's the prologue that I just wrote. Bear in mind that it's a very rough draft and, of course, subject to change:
 
Prologue

                 
“Please state your name for the record.”

                 
Cheyenne stared at the detective sitting across the table with suspicious  green eyes. “I thought this was an informal  interview.”

                 
Detective Claire Barnes fiddled with the microphone cord. “It is, but this old tape recorder can’t see you. Since we don’t have a video camera, I’ll ask you to humor me. Please state your name.”

“Cheyenne Wilkins,” she said, pushing a strand of dark brown hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. 
                 
“Cheyenne, were you in the building when the fire started?”
                 
Cheyenne clutched the coffee cup in her hand, digging a manicured finger into the styrophone. “No, I had left the office for the day an hour earlier.”
                 
“How did you know the building was on fire?” 
                  
“The alarm company called.”
                 
“Why would the alarm company call you?” Detective Barnes asked.
    
“I’m the business manager,” Cheyenne said. “I’m responsible for office operations and security.”
                 
Detective Barnes flipped through her notepad. “I understand that’s your duty, but my records say that Brett Goodard is the company president. Why wouldn’t he want to be designated as the primary contact for the alarm company?”
                 
“He lives in Knoxville. I’m only a few blocks away. I can get here much faster.”Cheyenne sipped her coffee and sat the cup down with a shaky hand. “He thought it would be best if somebody close by were designated for that. You know, so someone could be here quickly in case anything happened.”
                 
Detective Barnes stared at Cheyenne. “Why would he be concerned about that?”
             
Cheyenne looked away. “I don’t understand what the problem is. Doesn’t it make sense for the company president to designate somebody close by to keep an eye on things, especially if they have a long commute?”
                 
“I suppose so,” Detective Barnes said, closing her notebook. “Cheyenne, from our previous conversations I take it you’re a no-nonsense person, so I’m going to ask you straight. Is there anybody with your company that had a grudge against you?”
                 
Cheyenne’s blue eyes widened. “Me?”
                 
“Well, anybody with the company. Have you terminated anybody? Was anybody disgruntled? Were there any office politics that might have pushed somebody over the edge?”
                 
Cheyenne set her jaw. “Are you questioning the integrity of the company? We’ve never done anything wrong. Everything has always been above board and honest. We always act in the best interest of our employees.” She reached for the coffee cup but accidentally crushed it, spewing brown liquid over the steel table. “Crap!”she shouted. “Don’t you have any napkins around this office?”
                 
“Forget the coffee, just answer the question.”
                 
“No, this is a mess. We need to clean it up now.”
                 
“I don’t care about the coffee!” Detective Barnes said sternly. “I have two dead people, two missing people, one person nobody can  identify wandering around like a wraith, and an office on fire. I think asking if anybody has a grudge is perfectly sensible. So tell me, Cheyenne Wilkins, is there anybody that was pissed off enough to cause his domino effect of madness?”

Plenty of people talk. It's the ones that act who really cause the trouble.             
“Oh God,”Cheyenne said as tears welled in her eyes. 
                 
“What, Cheyenne?” Detective Barnes said. “Please, anything helps.”
                 
Tears rolled down Cheyenne’s pale cheeks. “I lied. I lied to the wrong person”
                 
“Who did you lie to?”
                 
“Ruby Josen.”
                 
Detective Barnes flipped through her notes and nodded. “I see. Ok Cheyenne, tell me the story. What did you lie to her about?”
                 
Cheyenne looked toward the ceiling, the tears in her eyes glinting in the harsh light of the lamp hanging over the table. “Everything. And now she’s doing something about it.”


 
                 
 

There's no use denying it - we all have a dark side. And we know just when it's time to unleash it. It's those times when life kicks you when you're down. When you try and try to do it right, and just stay locked in place or worse, you're passed by those doing wrong. When you just can't seem to get ahead no matter how hard you try. When you can't find a break and your patience is down to it's last shred. It's when the PITA's in life are beyond dealing with in a civilized manner and, as Dad says, it's time to put on the boots and start kicking some butt.

PITA's, by the way, are a handy acronym we've come up with at work. It stands for "Pain In The A**"

And "butt" is absolutely not the word in your vocabulary at these times, but I am trying to keep it PG-13 rated, even if I'm approaching this issue from an angle that no pastor, psychologist, therapist, or other any other type of spiritual leader or mental health professional would ever endorse. But, as I often say, reality isn't pretty and sometimes, it's downright obscene. The dirty truth I'm dealing with in this entry is that we all have a dark side, and life does have a way of bringing it out. I think it's best to acknowledge it. In fact, I think the key to making your way through the PITA's of life is to understand your dark side and know how to deal with it.

Yes, we know that there's a right way and a wrong way to do things. We know we should be patient and knowing that doing what's right will always win in the long run. But sometimes, you have to get aggresive, and this is where that elusive "dark side" comes in. If you are being taken for granted, walked all over, mistreated, used, or abused then you've come to that time to get wicked and it's absolutely right to step out and be aggresive. This can be a very hard thing, especially for Christians, because people assume that we're supposed to be meek and mild and take whatever life and the world throws at us. People expect us to stay quiet because they assume it's sinful to get angry, but the truth is that this is a handy excuse for them to use to justify treating us badly. They don't remember that Jesus turned over moneychangers tables outside the temple (I think that's awesome, by the way.) They say "oh, the Bible says 'in your anger, do not sin,' but misinterpret that to mean it's a sin to be angry (even though it clearly says not to sin in anger, which removes anger as justification for sin and doesn't make anger the sin). They stereotype us as lambs and forget there are lions in the kingdom too. So when they run across somebody like me, they're shocked when I say "fine you wanna play, let's play" and I turn into a holy terror.

Yes, I said it. I can be a holy terror when I'm angry. The problem is not a matter of retaliation. It's actually an issue of me being mischievous. I'm a writer, and a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology too so I do strategize how I deal with PITA's. For example, did you know that when most people get ticked off at you, they treat you in ways that irritate the hell out of them? A person that loves to be the center of attention will stop speaking to you and cut you off. A person that hates confrontation will be passive aggresive and will stab you in the back. A person that's a prideful bigshot will cause a scene or confront you. But I don't do that. I watch people to find what annoys them most and then I do it. I think it's part of a mischievous streak, really. What's really amusing is when I find some little thing that irritates the hell out of somebody and I do it, over and over again, and they're getting really mad but they're afraid to say anything because they know it will make them look stupid but it's wearing them thin. For example, I knew someone once that didn't like to leave a place until it was spic and span and everything was in it's place. So I'd go in while they were in the bathroom before leaving and leave a pile of mail on the table, or forward them an email when I heard keys jingle. They'd grumble and everybody else would say "what's the big deal? There's always tomorrow to do it. Don't worry about it."

I know, doing things like this wasn't right and my motives were terrible, but the point was made in a very powerful way. People came to appreciate the "do unto others" commandment with a new appreciation when they pissed me off. Just ask the salesman that tried to grab me leaving the grocery store a few months ago. I fended him off, he yelled at me to "not be like that," and, well, I unloaded on him. My husband went back to the store 10 minutes later to have his own words with this gentleman and he was gone. The guy tried to make a scene on me and I screamed right back at him about not being out there harassing customers and grabbing people. Then I complained to the manager and the main headquarters. Well heck, he wanted to play big and make a scene, so I took him on.

And, of course, you all remember the entry that opened this series about the false allegation that someone made at my previous job about shredding documents. I shut that one down in a minute. They said they had to protect the complaintant, I said I had to protect myself and I would be seeing an attorney now, and that was all she wrote.

People often ask me if I feel bad about acting this way. Sometimes I do, but the simple fact of the matter for me, and for everybody else in such situations, is that it boils down to motives. It is always wrong to attack people in any way, shape or form and you are 100% justified in defending yourself. If your motives are defense and setting things right, as in my false accusations thing above, that wasn't wrong. Neither was my reaction to the salesman, because folks, I have my CWP, I WAS packing, and if he got his hands on me then I could have easily argued that I felt threatened because I perceived it as a physical attack, especially since I told him "no thanks" when I came in. I chose to attempt a non-physical resolution to the matter. He may not agree, but he only left with his pride hurt that day. It could have been a very ugly situation if I hadn't chosen to use discernment and good, common sense in the situation. Just look at the Zimmerman case in Florida.

Now messing up the person's office - ok, that was wrong. That was all about she was always trying to put me down, so I struck back by irritating her. My motives there were not right and I repent, even if it was funny.

So the secret to my dark side is out. I'm trying to channel my tendencies toward mischief and outright irritation to the PITA's of the world the right way, but, well, it's a work in progress.

The point of this entry is that you can't deny you have a dark side, because every human being does. We can only take so much and if we're pushed too far, well, it's time to get wicked. Just try to make sure you at least get wicked with right motives. I know that sounds completely counterintuitive, but it's right. Sometimes the truth and what's right seems wrong. It takes discernment to know the difference - and that's a good lead into the next entry.

That's all for today. Happy Friday to you tomorrow. In closing, I'd like to share a video of my favorite song by one of my favorite bands here. It just feels appropriate for this entry, and these times and people in life. Enjoy!