I’ve often said that when you first tell people that you want to be a writer, expect a lot of blank stares at best, and a reaction akin to announcing that you plan to become a serial killer at worst. That is, until you get published. Then everybody will know you and proudly proclaim that they knew you “back when.” They’ll completely forget all the times they said “why do you want to do that?” or “didn’t you graduate? Why not go back to school instead if that’s what you want to do?” Or any other number of “helpful suggestions” that included doing anything but that. 
 
That’s not to say that I didn’t have support. Of course, those closest to me wanted me to succeed at making my dreams come true, but let’s face it – your inner circle is usually pretty small. Most of the people you know won’t be in it, and they certainly won’t understand the things that are most important to you. In fact, even those in your “inner circle” will eventually lose their enthusiasm for your personal pursuits if they don’t see results face, and often. It’s unfortunate, but peoples’ attention spans are usually much shorter than God’s timing. Most people don’t have patience to stay the course, especially in a culture where everything is instantaneous and available with the click of the mouse or the press of a button. That’s why I believe that internal motivation is perhaps the most important element in pursuing your authenticity and purpose in life. 
 
What is internal motivation? Basically, it’s the determination and inner drive to see things through to the end, no matter what it takes. I’ve said before that God will only reveal purpose to you, and for that reason you simply can’t rely on others to hold you up and carry you through the finish line. They have their hands full with their own lives and frankly, they are probably overwhelmed with keeping up with the day to day grind of reality. You must have strength within you to stay the course and be determined to see things through all the way to the end, no matter how many battles or struggles you must endure. There path to purpose isn’t a straight line, but rather a winding highway. There will be progress and setbacks, trials and errors, success and failure, as you wind through the journey. Some people will be with you for all of it, some for part, but remember that they are also taking their own journey’s. We all only have so much emotional energy and must dedicate it to those things that matter most. And let’s be honest, what are you more concerned with: Your own life or somebody elses’? That’s not being selfish – it’s just the way it is. We must attend to our own obligations and priorities first and foremost. 

Likewise, there are also people that don’t want to see you succeed. This usually isn’t personal, even though it feels like a very real attack on who we are. It’s really smoke and mirrors for their own insecurity. I believe we all have these “emotional vampires” in our lives that can find the dark cloud in any silver lining and discourage us from doing anything that causes us to rise above where we’re at. Their security is in making sure that you (and often, everybody they know) stay inside the convenient box they’ve put you in for their own comfort. You must realize that this box isn’t your problem. Do yourself a favor by dealing with these toxic relationships quickly and efficiently, and moving on. In fact, that might be the very thing that makes them realize the right thing to do so they can get on with their own lives. Doing the right thing and refusing to accept other peoples’ problems is often the best living testimony we can provide to the world.

 Yes, the journey to purpose can be a lonely one at times. There are journey’s we must take alone and things we must discover on our own. The good news is that we are never really alone. The Lord is always right there with us, to ensure that we stay on the right path. He will always do His part as long as we do our part by following the prompting of the Spirit, but sometimes what is right isn’t what looks or seems right. That’s why it’s so important to be internally motivated. These promptings are usually very personal, and we have to be able to stand up to scrutiny, discouragement, and sometimes even attack to see the victory. But as I’ve said so many times before, the reward is well worth it. There’s nothing better than realizing you are uniquely and wonderfully made, and being content with who you are. 
 
Next Time: Contentment – The Secret to Joy.

I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things. I can believe that science fiction could be showing us a possible future, no matter how far fetched or unrealistic it may seem. After all, never say never. We thought the 21st century would look like The Jetsons and, well, it's turned out quite differently.

I can believe that fantasy is showing us possible alternate realities. Sure, I know there's no such thing, but I can suspend my disbelief to consider that these are possible ways the world could have been.

I can even suspend my disbelief for urban fantasy. I know it's unlikely that quirks in reality would result in superheros or creatures walking the world as we know it, but I can consider "what if."

What I can't suspend my disbelief for, however, is romance. I thought this was a personal taste issue, but after giving two romances a chance this summer - no. That's just too far out there.

First, let me open my arguement by giving you two facts that are surly coloring my perception: First, I've been married for over 13 years, so I know the reality of relationships. That dopamine rush that takes you to the altar eventually leads to home, family, in-laws, job stress, financial strains, good days, bad days, joy and tears, and a partridge in a pear tree - if you're lucky. Second, I've always had a lot of men in my life. To say there's been a heavy male influence on the way I was raised and continue to live would be an understatement. So please bear these in mind as I make my arguement.

For the sake of preserving dignity, I won't say what I read or who wrote them because they might have fans out there that devoured them and think it's the best thing since chocolate. I'll be fair. I will say this, though: Both stories had several elements in common that I just couldn't seem to get past. They were way out of left field. For example:
1. Men don't instantly fall in love after one encounter. Sorry ladies, it doesn't happen that way.
2. Men don't propose a week after meeting the lady of their dreams. In the best case scenario, it will take longer and completely freak them out to the point that they withdraw for a while before deciding to commit.
3. Men aren't the ones that are talking about having children on date #2. Sorry ladies - again, that doesn't happen in real life. Barring "surprises," this consideration usually comes at least a year or two after marriage, which in itself takes a year or two to come about.
4. Men aren't emotional and they don't like having "heart to heart" talks. My own husband has confirmed this. So has my brother, my father, and while they were alive both grandfathers. Sure they may feel it (they aren't robots), but the likelihood of them talking about it willingly and openly is roughly equivalent to aliens landing in my driveway right now.
5. In both stories, it was the woman that was long single and fearing committment. Really? They fell in bed quick enough for somebody not looking for love. Now I'm not saying there aren't women that are afraid of commitment. I'm just saying the stereotype exist for a reason. It's more likely that the woman is the one wanting an exclusive relationship before the man. See point #2 above.
6. Vampires and werewolves - really? Ok, I'll be a sport. They may be prowling the night, but they aren't looking for love. They're looking for a quick and tasty meal.

Before you say that I must have just gotten a  hold of some bad examples, I did try romance while I was in college and found myself having the same problems with the same issues I saw in those novels. Well, with the exception of the vampires and werewolves. That wasn't popular back in the mid 90's.

So go ahead and call me an improper lady if you must but I'm sorry. I'm more likely to believe that Frodo Baggins destroyed the ring of power, the Jedi order is rebuilding somewhere out there, dragons are hiding under the Smoky Mountains, Superman will save the day, Batman is on a rooftop downtown, and Thor is beating someone down every time I hear thunder than I am to take any bit of the two things I recently read seriously. Sorry.

That's all the fun I have for today. Here's hoping you're off to a great start to the new week.

Bye!