Yes folks, I have arrived at that point in the novel writing process. Control of this story has officially shifted from me to the characters and let me tell you, I've already found more twists and turns than the Smoky Mountain Parkway.
Funny really, when you consider that this story takes place in the Smoky Mountains of east Tennessee!
It always happens. You start writing a novel with our outline in hand and your plot planned. Then comes that moment when you're writing and all of a sudden, the unexpected has happened. You get in a flow and when you come back to consciousness you look over it and say "wait a minute, I didn't plan for THAT!" And that's when it really takes off. You're in that world, and you have to see what will happen because heck, you're the writer and even YOU don't know. I've pounded out 8 chapters since Sunday. That's right, 8. I've been writing every chance I have a minute. I've even been carrying the laptop to work with me so I can write during my lunch breaks.
Yes, I'm at that point. The story has taken over my brain, my hands, and my laptop. The only thing stopping me from going back to it right now is that I'm at another crossroads point where I'm trying to figure out how to deliver what comes next. Or rather, I'm waiting for the characters to let me know, because this week, THEY took over the story. And that's exactly what every writer lives for. That moment when the world they created comes to life. That moment when it becomes real (at least to them). That moment when they know they're delivering a new creation to the world, and they're consumed by it. That moment when at least 50% of their brain seeps into that world and isn't coming out until the story's done.
Yes indeed, I am at that point, and I love it. This is why we write. This is the joy. This is the purpose.
That's all today. Happy Friday to you tomorrow and I hope you have a good and safe Memorial Day weekend. Remember those who have died so you can enjoy your life and freedom.
Bye!
Hi everybody, I made great progress on my novel, Move, this week. I thought I'd share another sample chapter with you today. Enjoy!
Chapter 4
Ruby sat at a picnic table at the park Saturday afternoon, enjoying the cool breeze blowing through the trees. It was much more crowded than it had been for the company picnic Thursday afternoon but then again, this event was open to the entire town. Tanger Falls hosted a spring festival every year during the first weekend in May. Although the event was open to the public, it was held as more of a local celebration for the permanent residents to celebrate the slower summer season. Tanger Falls, like many other mountain towns, got the majority of their tourism during the fall and winter, when the area was at it’s peak with changing leaves, holiday season celebrations, and the winter ski season. The spring festival was Tanger Fall’s way of celebrating “getting their town to themselves” for a few months.
“Wow, it’s so nice out today!” Denise said, sipping a milk shake. “The weather is perfect!”
Ruby nodded. “I’m glad the rain held off. I was afraid we’d be stuck inside after all.” The forecast had been calling for a chance of storms that day but so far, it was sunny and clear. “Do you want to hike one of the trails up the hill? I can find us an easy trail if you want.” Ruby loved to hike. In fact, it wasn’t uncommon for her to hike the trails in the National Forest after work and on weekends during the long spring and summer days. She knew every trail on their side of the forest and many in the Gatlinburg area.
Denise shook her head. “I went jogging every day this week and frankly, I’d like a day off from strenuous activity.” She looked around at the people milling about. “I’d like to see some of the art exhibits at the convention center.”
“Now Denise, you told me I need to get out and you want me to be cooped up in the convention center? I thought we were supposed to forget about work over the weekend. All looking at that stuff would do is remind me of all the meetings and deadlines we have next week.”
“I know, I know, but I love it.”
Ruby peered at Denise over the rim of her sunglasses. “Do you love it, or are you keeping an eye on the local competition?”
Denise rolled her eyes innocently toward the sky. “Um, ok, maybe both.” She sighed. “I tell you what. Why don’t we part ways for an hour or so? You can hike one of the trails, I can scope out what the local artists are up to, and we can meet back here and decide what to do next.”
“I guess that’d be alright. I didn’t dress for a strenuous hike today anyway so maybe I can hike one of the lower trails. It’s been a while since I did the foothills trail back there,” Ruby said, pointing toward the entryway to
the forest.
Denise smiled and stood. “Thanks! I’ll meet you back here in an hour. And I promise we’ll do whatever you suggest for the rest of the day.”
“Yea, alright,” Ruby said, standing and stretching. She really wanted to hike one of the longer trails, but could see that Denise wasn’t interested. Oh well, Denise was compromising for her by cutting her artistic musings to only an hour, and a shorter trail would be alright with her. She knew she could hike the foothills trail at the entryway of the forest in about half an hour and be back well in time to meet Denise. She wound through the crowd toward the forest entryway, trying not to bump into people. Every now and then she would see
people from work, who would smile and nod, or share a brief greeting. As the got near the trail entrance, she nearly bumped into Cheyenne, who was tugging her son behind her. She was going to speak, but Cheyenne avoided her eye and turned away quickly, tugging the young boy through the crowd and snapping something
about hurrying up.
“Geeze, I hope she didn’t sprain anything trying to ignore me,” Ruby mumbled.
“I hope she didn’t either,” a voice said behind her. She turned to see a man about her age with slicked back, shoulder length, black hair and piercing blue eyes.
Ruby blushed. “I’m sorry, I must sound crazy mumbling to myself. I forgot, my friend isn’t with me.”
He smiled. “No worries. I think everybody talks to themselves from time to time.” He extended his hand. “Hi, my name is Bryce.”
Ruby took his hand and shook it. “I’m Ruby. Pleased to meet you.”
“Actually, I should apologize. That was bold of me to butt my way into your musings. I just saw that interaction and it seemed curious to me. You obviously know each other, but she went to great pains to avoid you. Do you have a bad relationship with her?”
“I wouldn’t say a bad relationship. I mean, she’s my boss.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Well,”Ruby stammered, “we haven’t been getting along lately. We used to get along better but some things have happened at work and …” she trailed off and blushed. “I really shouldn’t burden a stranger with this.”
Bryce motioned to a “Psychic Readings” booth next to the forest entrance. “Actually, it’s my job to help people with their problems. I’d be glad to help. Why don’t you come in?”
Ruby glanced at the booth. “No offence, but I really don’t believe in that stuff.”
“None taken. Come on, have a seat. Tell me about one thing troubling you with your work and I’ll see if I can advise you on how to make it better. No charge.”
Ruby raised an eyebrow. “No charge?”
Bryce smiled. “A free demonstration. Come on, you can take it or leave it. No charge, no obligation. Just
one thing. Give me a try.”
She sat in one of the two plastic chairs in the booth. “Ok, fine. How does this work. Don’t you look in a crystal ball or draw tarot cards or read a star chart to get my fortune?”
He laughed and pulled his plastic chair so he was facing Ruby. “No, I don’t work like that. I do psychic readings. All I need is to hold something of yours that you wear a lot to focus on your energy. I’ll share some of what I sense. If you still want my help, all you have to do is ask.”
“Ok, what do you want to hold?” Ruby asked.
“Something with metal works best. Metal holds energy better.”
“What does energy have to do with it?”
“Everything that happens, every experience that we have, is energy. Energy is never lost. It’s just redistributed. Every experience you have becomes part of your energy. Objects that you carry or wear frequently store the most energy because they’re with you through most of these experiences.” He motioned to her right hand.“What about that ring? Do you wear it every day?”
Ruby looked down at the red ring on her right ring finger and slid it off. “Yes I do. This is the ruby ring my mother gave me when I got my associates degree.”She stared at it. “I always meant to go back for my bachelor’s and get a real class ring but never did it. I guess this kind of became my college ring.”
“How long ago did you graduate from tech school?”
“Ten years ago.”
Bryce reached for the ring. “That should do. Let me hold it for a moment.” He put the ring in the palm of his right hand, covered it with his left hand, and closed his eyes. He sat still for several moments; long enough that
Ruby wondered if he fell asleep. She was fixing to poke him when his blue eyes sprang open and he handed her the ring. Ruby shuddered as she took back the ring. It was ice cold. She glanced at it a moment, but didn’t see anything wrong with it. She slid the ring back on her finger and it warmed up again quickly.
“So?”Ruby asked.
Bryce stared at Ruby. “I’m sorry, it was almost overwhelming. You’ve been through a lot. I see that the past ten years haven’t been easy for you. You’ve experienced a lot of broken relationships and a lot of loss.”
Ruby looked around. “No more than most people, I suppose.”
“Actually for your relatively young age you have lost a lot. I see your mother passed away in a lot of pain a few years ago, and your father is no longer a part of your life. You have no family close to you.”
Ruby looked down. “Mom died of pancreatic cancer five years ago.” She sniffed. “It was awful. Mom, she was my best friend. Sometimes I still can’t believe she’s gone.” Ruby wiped the tears forming in her eyes and looked up. “But she’s in a better place, you know. She’s not in pain anymore and I’m glad. I miss her, but I’m glad she isn’t sick or hurting anymore.”
“What about your father? Who’s this woman he’s with now?”
Ruby grunted. “Dad married Katrina nine months after Mom died. She was a medical assistant with the Mom’s doctor. This woman …”
“You stepmother.”
Ruby glared at Bryce. “She’s earned no title in my life.”
Bryce leaned back and spread his hands innocently. “My apologies.”
Ruby stared at Bryce a moment. “I believe she had her sights set on him the day Mom was diagnosed. I don’t know if anything was going on between them while Mom was sick. I suspect it could have been. Anyway, she convinced him that he needed to leave Tanger Falls and get away from this place to start over. They moved to Atlanta right after they got married. He’s never come back.”
“Have you gone to see him?”
“Once or twice, during the holidays,” Ruby said. “Katrina changed him. I don’t know him anymore. He used to be hardworking and down to earth, but now all he cares about are material possessions and social connections. He’s shallow and superficial, just like her.”
Bryce leaned forward. “Perhaps the pain of losing your mother was so great that he developed this new life to protect himself from grief.”
“Or perhaps he’s selfish jackass,” Ruby hissed. She twisted the ring on her finger.“It doesn’t matter. For all intents and purposes, you’re right. I’m an orphan. My mother died and the father I knew is dead too. I had no siblings and my cousins live all over the southeast and I’m not close to them. So yea, I have no family. All I have is my work and my friend, Denise.”
“What about boyfriends or lovers? I didn’t see any men in your life. I mean, other than your father and people you work with.”
“Tanger Falls isn’t a social hotbed.”
“When’s the last time you went on a date?”
Ruby laughed. “A real date? It’s been so long that I can’t remember.” She looked down and twisted the
ring again. “I had a boyfriend in college. We dated for a year. He wanted to get married.”
“What happened?”
Ruby sighed. “He decided to join the military and I didn’t want to be a military wife. All that moving around – there’s no stability in that kind of life and that’s not for me. My place is here. My roots are here. He wasn’t
willing to settle here and I wasn’t willing to leave, so that was it. We broke up.”
“Do you know what became of him?”
“He’s stationed in Texas, where he lives with his wife of 6 years and their two kids. Their third child is due in the fall.”
“How do you know? Did you keep in contact?”
Ruby smiled. “Social media.”
“Ah.”
“I’ve dated a few people but nothing’s worked out. I guess I’ve given up.”
“That’s too bad,” Bryce said, “you’re a beautiful woman.”
Ruby brushed the hair out of her face. “I was school beauty queen my junior and senior years. Head cheerleader and prom queen my senior year. Voted ‘best looking’ senior superlative. For all the good that all did. All of my classmates are married and have families and I’m still single with no one in my life but my co-workers and my best friend in the apartment next door.”
“What about your co-workers? Any prospects there?”
Ruby shook her head. “All married.”
“How about online dating?”
Ruby snorted. “Please.”
“Ok,”Bryce said. “I saw this friend you’ve mentioned a couple of times. So there is someone you’re connected with in a good way in life?”
Ruby nodded. “Yes, Denise. She moved in the apartment next door to me just after Mom died. She’s a graphic designer at the firm where I work. We’re best friends.”
“Then you’re not completely alone. That’s good. Perhaps you’re good for each other. You can inspire and encourage one another in creating a better life.”
“I’m not doing so good in that area, as you probably saw.”
Bryce nodded. “I saw a recent disappointment that stung you. It was something at work. Were you passed over for a promotion?”
“I was.” Ruby sighed. “I don’t know what happened. I thought I’d get it. I’ve been working there for eleven years, since they opened. I know the place and the clients better than anybody else. My boss even offered to give me a reference, but when it came time to hire for the position they decided to hire somebody from out of town. They hired a woman from Sevierville, and she’s been awful. She’s changing everything and she’s mean to me.”
“I’m sorry to hear this,” Bryce said. He stared off for a moment. “You said that woman that passed by you a moment ago was your boss?”
“Yes, Cheyenne.”
“And she promised to give you a reference for the job?”
“Yes.”
Bryce turned his gaze to Ruby. “I hate to tell you this, but she lied to you. Not only did she not give you the reference, but she helped this other woman get the job.”
Ruby gasped. “How do you know? I mean, how were you able to see that by holding my ring?”
“I can see people that are connected to you in a limited way. But I didn’t see this by holding your ring. That woman, Cheyenne, she bumped against me in the crowd back there. I sensed deception from her. Holding your ring helped me pull the pieces together and see more clearly.” He closed his eyes. “This other woman that got the job – what’s her name?”
“Millie.”
“Yes, I see. Millie is a friend of Cheyenne’s. They went to school together.” He furrowed his brows as if concentrating. “They are going through similar trials and Cheyenne wanted to help her friend. I see they’re both single parents?”
“Cheyenne is getting a divorce. I don’t know about Millie.”
“She has children but never married the father. Something happened – I can’t see it clearly but it seems he left her. There was deception.” He blinked and stared at Ruby. “It seems you’re surrounded by liars.”
Ruby slumped in her chair. “See, this is what I mean. Everybody has an excuse for why they’re doing what they’re doing and keeping me stuck in place. So they’re single moms and I’m supposed to roll over and play dead so they can get ahead?”
“Ruby,”Bryce said, “I’m not telling you how to perceive this information, I’m just sharing what I see. Remember, I asked you here so I could help you.”
She sighed. “Ok, you said you could help. What should I do? What help do you have to offer?”
Bryce leaned back. “I understand your frustration. You’ve seen a lot of grief and loss in your life, and you deserve better. And you’re right in that their misfortunes are no excuse to mistreat you or anybody else.” He closed his eyes again. “Millie manipulated Cheyenne into helping her get that job. I believe that Cheyenne fully intended and expected for you to get it, but Millie was desperate and wouldn’t let it go until Cheyenne did what she wanted. That wasn’t right. There were plenty of other places where she could have secured just as good a job or even better. She looked to Tanger Falls to run from her problems instead of staying in Sevierville and working them out, and now you’re paying for her mistake. That’s not right.” Bryce opened his eyes, and they flared with anger. “In fact, making others pay for your mistakes is the greatest injustice in life. Millie will pay for this one. I say be patient. By this time tomorrow she will know the error of her ways and it will be set right.”
Ruby stared at Bryce. “Ok, how?”
“What do you mean, how?”
“You said you’d help me. So how is this going to happen? What am I going to do?”
“You aren’t going to do anything. You’re going to go about your life and leave this to fate.”
“Ok, so how’s that going to work by this time tomorrow?”
Bryce smiled, but something about the smile was frightening. “There are many possible solutions. But I will tell you this. Millie is being mean for the sake of being mean. There’s no ulterior motive for it. She’s just being spiteful. She feels like the world is mistreating her and she has a right to mistreat it back. But she’s wrong.” Bryce reached for Ruby’s hand again and held it. “Don’t worry about it, Ruby. Fate is a funny thing but it always acts appropriately. I can see that she’s about to move out of your life permanently.”
Ruby shuddered and pulled her hand away from Bryce’s cold grasp and glanced at her watch. “Look, I promised to meet my friend back at the festival and I’d better go before she comes looking for me. What do I owe you?”
Bryce shook his head. “I said it was free. You honored your part of the bargain by accepting my offer. I’ll honor my part. But please, don’t worry. Things will move in a better direction for you soon.”
Ruby smiled stiffly and waved. “Thanks for your time. It was a pleasure to meet you.”
“The pleasure was mine,” Bryce said, kissing her hand and walking away into the crowd gathering for the children’s afternoon play.
Ruby rushed through the crowd back to the picnic table, where Denise was waiting. Denise stood as she saw Ruby approach. “Hey girl, how was the hike?” She pulled back. “What’s wrong? You’re pale. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Ruby thought about telling Denise about Bryce, but changed her mind as she saw her friend’s bright smile. Warmth penetrated her and drove out the chill from her encounter with the mysterious man. “It’s nothing. It was just a little chilly in the woods with that breeze blowing. I feel better out here in the sun.”
Denise studied Ruby for a moment, then nodded. “Ok, glad you’re better. How was your hike?”
“My hike? Oh, it was ok. It was revealing. You know how that time alone is. You get some clarity and perspective on life.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear it. So, what’s next?”
Ruby looked at the people milling about. “I think I’ve been outside enough for one day. Why don’t we go see that movie in Knoxville?”
Denise raised an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to stay out of crowds?”
Ruby shrugged. “Well, we’ve been in one here. The only difference is that we’d be in the air conditioning there. And it looks like the weather is nice, so it will be a pretty drive. Why wait? I’d kind of like to get out of town for a
few hours anyway.”
Denise nodded. “I’ll split the cost of gas with you if you’ll drive.”
Ruby smiled. “Ok, let’s go.”
Bryce watched from the edge of the woods as the two women walked away. Everything was set. Now it was time to get moving.
So I was off work today for Confederate Memorial Day. I know, I know, nobody's heard of it outside those of us that work for SC State Government. I honestly can't explain it. Several years ago they took away Election Day and our optional holiday and gave us Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Confederate Memorial Day instead. Frankly, I'd rather have election day off but that's the way it rolls round these parts.
Our HVAC unit quit on us day before yesterday. Got home from work on Wednesday and it was a wee bit warm in here. Turns out the unit had a major freon leak and bad coils. They're getting us a new one and will install it tomorrow. Thanks God for His mercies, because the temperature dropped the past few days. Highs in the mid to upper 70's and lows in the 60's. It's gotten a bit above our preference range around mid day, but overall it hasn't been bad. We open the windows when we're home and that helps. The house is getting aired out and the birds seem to enjoy the open windows. They aren't bothered by this at all. In fact, I don't think they're phased a bit. But I thank the Lord over and over for the mild weather and the timing of this (specifically, that it didn't happen when highs are in the 80's and 90's because it has been in the 90's a few times recently). It's been a darned inconvenience, but not too bad. I pray things go as planned and we get the unit installed tomorrow. Rick can't get off work, so I'm the one on home duty for this one. Looks like tomorrow will be a good day to work on Move.
Speaking of Move, the ideas are really coming along. I pretty much have the whole novel mapped out. Of course, there's the issue that I've been sick the past 2 nights with a headache so bad I couldn't possibly look at a computer screen. And I have to work, and of course my poor hands and wrists need a break from typing every now and then. I tell you, I think that if I had a free week I could write the entire rough draft. But alas, I don't, and so I shall peck at it as I can. But that's ok. I don't want to rush this one. I made the mistake of rushing with Splinter to get it done for National Novel Writing Month and I don't want to do that again. I'm glad I entered that because it was one of those things I always eyed NaNo with great interest, but it's really not suitable for a person with a home, family nearby, and full time job - especially in November when Thanksgiving rolls around. But having to pound out 50,000 words in a month was just stressful. I'm not doing that again, at least not while I'm working full time. I really enjoyed writing Anywhere But Here and Blurry, and I believe it was because I took my time and that allowed me to enjoy the process of having the ideas develop and the story come to life. So I'm taking my time and so far I have been enjoyed working on Move.
Believe it or not, I already have an idea for my next book. I don't know if I've mentioned this (I don't think I have), but I've recently pondered a return to non-fiction. Well, today I was in Barnes & Noble and while walking past pet books I had the idea: Why don't I write a book about having birds as pets? I know I don't have a biology degree and I'm not a vet, but goodness, I've had 6 birds in my life. I think, at least from the petowner perspective, I'm certainly experienced. It's a general idea now, but it has me intrigued. I'll ponder this further and if I'm able to brainstorm some ideas then I'll take a shot at drafting this one after I get the rough draft of Move done.
And if that works it really will be interesting and a new experience, because I've always worked on one book at a time, from rough draft to final draft. I've just never had 2 book ideas at once. This is a new thing, and frankly I find it exciting! It's great to have the Spirit inspiring me so much again. I haven't really written much since Anywhere But Here, with personal life changes and then getting published - so it's great to be actually writing again and have the ideas coming. I say keep that inspiration flowing and keep the ideas coming, Lord!
I am feeling better with my sinus infection today. No more headache, sneezing or congestion. I still feel a bit feverish from time to time, and I'm slow and tire easily, but overall I'm much better. The antibiotic has worked quickly and I'm thankful for that too!
That's all for today. Take care all. I hope you have a Happy Friday tomorrow and a great weekend.
Bye!
Yep, that's the right word to describe my schedule these days. It seems there's always something going on. Over the past few weeks we've visited with family, visited with friends, did work on our committees at church, and cleaned house. Work is chaos with license renewals for our biggest program and the legislature making the final push to get things running before regulations time out this month and next month. This has been a brutal session because they're questioning everything with fees down to the jot and tittle and guess what? There are fees in one of my regulations.The June 7 close of the session will be a huge relief - for better or for worse. So that's meant a lot of meetings, on top of meetings I've already had.
Add to that the fact that I didn't feel 100% well with my sinuses 2 days this week but couldn't take off because I had meetings (big surprise), that our big "Share Our Stuff" spring event is tomorrow morning at the church, and I started writing my new book (Move), this week and - yea, insanity.
Incidentally, it's not really out of place for me to start writing a book when things are crazy. It seems the inspiration always hits when I don't have a minute to spare and it seems I have to sledgehammer time into my schedule to peck some research here and a chapter there. I can't explain it. Things will be calm and I'll have writer's block, but let my schedule fill up with dots on every day of my calendar in my iPhone, and the muse is firing off left and right. Maybe the high level of activity feeds inspiration, or gives me more to draw off of. I have to admit that I pounded out a chapter today durning my lunch hour with no problem. In fact, sometimes I find it easier to write scenes there that are in a work related setting. Maybe it's because I'm already in a work-mindset and I can draw inspiration from what I've been dealing with recently. Yes, it's easiest to write in the quiet with free time, but sometimes those short slices of free time feed my muse, I guess by allowing me to draw inspiration from recent experience.
Or maybe I'm just weird and have a busy lifestyle where I've adapted to being able to write anytime I can find a minute. I learned in college that there's no such thing as dead time. They taught me to be a master at handling my schedule and I learned I can squeeze things into every minute of every day. In fact, sometimes I have to plan to take time off. I guess I'm driven. It seems I always have some personal project going on top of everything else. No sooner do I finish the birdhouse village than I'm off and running on my next novel. This one should keep me occupied for a while - and there's no telling what's next.
That's all for today. Happy Friday to you. I hope you have a great weekend.
Bye!
Hi everybody, I'm excited to announce that I officially started the rough draft of my next novel tonight! The working title for this book is Move, and wow, it's going to be a wild ride. I'd like to share bits and pieces of the manuscript here as I work on it because I'd really like to share the journey I take with this book. Because a book is journey for both writer and reader. Often the reader only experiences the final draft, but I'd like to share the entire ride with you.
Here's the prologue that I just wrote. Bear in mind that it's a very rough draft and, of course, subject to change:
Prologue
“Please state your name for the record.”
Cheyenne stared at the detective sitting across the table with suspicious green eyes. “I thought this was an informal interview.”
Detective Claire Barnes fiddled with the microphone cord. “It is, but this old tape recorder can’t see you. Since we don’t have a video camera, I’ll ask you to humor me. Please state your name.”
“Cheyenne Wilkins,” she said, pushing a strand of dark brown hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear.
“Cheyenne, were you in the building when the fire started?”
Cheyenne clutched the coffee cup in her hand, digging a manicured finger into the styrophone. “No, I had left the office for the day an hour earlier.”
“How did you know the building was on fire?”
“The alarm company called.”
“Why would the alarm company call you?” Detective Barnes asked.
“I’m the business manager,” Cheyenne said. “I’m responsible for office operations and security.”
Detective Barnes flipped through her notepad. “I understand that’s your duty, but my records say that Brett Goodard is the company president. Why wouldn’t he want to be designated as the primary contact for the alarm company?”
“He lives in Knoxville. I’m only a few blocks away. I can get here much faster.”Cheyenne sipped her coffee and sat the cup down with a shaky hand. “He thought it would be best if somebody close by were designated for that. You know, so someone could be here quickly in case anything happened.”
Detective Barnes stared at Cheyenne. “Why would he be concerned about that?”
Cheyenne looked away. “I don’t understand what the problem is. Doesn’t it make sense for the company president to designate somebody close by to keep an eye on things, especially if they have a long commute?”
“I suppose so,” Detective Barnes said, closing her notebook. “Cheyenne, from our previous conversations I take it you’re a no-nonsense person, so I’m going to ask you straight. Is there anybody with your company that had a grudge against you?”
Cheyenne’s blue eyes widened. “Me?”
“Well, anybody with the company. Have you terminated anybody? Was anybody disgruntled? Were there any office politics that might have pushed somebody over the edge?”
Cheyenne set her jaw. “Are you questioning the integrity of the company? We’ve never done anything wrong. Everything has always been above board and honest. We always act in the best interest of our employees.” She reached for the coffee cup but accidentally crushed it, spewing brown liquid over the steel table. “Crap!”she shouted. “Don’t you have any napkins around this office?”
“Forget the coffee, just answer the question.”
“No, this is a mess. We need to clean it up now.”
“I don’t care about the coffee!” Detective Barnes said sternly. “I have two dead people, two missing people, one person nobody can identify wandering around like a wraith, and an office on fire. I think asking if anybody has a grudge is perfectly sensible. So tell me, Cheyenne Wilkins, is there anybody that was pissed off enough to cause his domino effect of madness?”
Plenty of people talk. It's the ones that act who really cause the trouble.
“Oh God,”Cheyenne said as tears welled in her eyes.
“What, Cheyenne?” Detective Barnes said. “Please, anything helps.”
Tears rolled down Cheyenne’s pale cheeks. “I lied. I lied to the wrong person”
“Who did you lie to?”
“Ruby Josen.”
Detective Barnes flipped through her notes and nodded. “I see. Ok Cheyenne, tell me the story. What did you lie to her about?”
Cheyenne looked toward the ceiling, the tears in her eyes glinting in the harsh light of the lamp hanging over the table. “Everything. And now she’s doing something about it.”
The recent news that our church is losing our head pastor and may lose our associate pastor to new jobs/opportunities has many people sad and confused. They are, after all, great pastors and leaders, and have been wonderful to and for our congregation. It's scary to lose them and to wonder what the future holds. No doubt, we as a congregation are in for a long process of finding the right person/people to serve as our leadership into the future.
I too am sad to see them go, but on the other hand I'm relieved that they are leaving on good terms. I honestly can't begrudge a person taking advantage of oppotunity. Any person would be a fool not to - after all, it's just stupid to stay in a rut because it's comfortable if the Lord is opening an opportunity for growth and advancement to you. While I will miss them and the stable support they have provided our congregation, I have to say that I'm happy to see them advancing in their careers and their lives, and I believe it's wise for them to seize these opportunities.
There's another side to this, though, that I don't think people are considering, and that's what I call the "graceful parting" scenario. Honestly, if people are questioning where they are in life and want to pursue a new or different course, I believe it's best for them to seek and take advantage of those opportunities and to leave gracefully and on good terms. These pastors are doing that. There is no controversy. There are no allegations of wrongdoing or shady morals. They aren't being run off. They are simply progressing along the path of life and that path has come to a fork in the road where they have chosen a divergent path. There's no wrong in that and if they want to go a different way, I admire them for acting on what's in their heart and going with the best of intentions for all.
I can speak to this from experience. Two years ago when legislation was in the State House to move the programs I work with (and, as a result, me) to a new department, things got, for lack of a better word, awkward. The department I was out was transferring the programs/me due to an internal transition they were going through in an effort to streamline and to operate in a more efficient and cost effective way. They were under strain and as a result put pressure on the powers that be to make things move - NOW, by the way, because they had to get these changes through before the end of the fiscal year in June. The problem was that, although they started the process well ahead of time for me, things don't move through the legislature in a great hurry. And so we waited, and panic set in around April when they realized that their deadlines weren't other peoples' deadlines, who had cares, concerns, and timelines of their own to worry about. Impatience took over and it got ugly and strained. At one point it got so nasty that I offered to work from home, which made them madder because they thought I was being a smart alec (but I was sincere, as the office space was becoming a problem at that point). I wanted nothing more than to part from the place on cordial terms - after all, I had been there 11 years, and it had been a rollar coaster but I didn't want to walk away with a chip on my shoulder - but they just wouldn't allow it. They couldn't control their impatience and frustration, my work ethic lagged to a point where it was so bad that I'm ashamed to say how little real work I did for the last 3 months in that office, and I finally walked out for the last time on July 1, 2010 with my computer and the attitude that I wasn't going away mad; I was just going away. While I left on good terms with some people and a couple of friends, some of them try so hard to avoid me when they see me in public that I hope they don't sprain anything doing it. That would be a shame.
Too bad, really and a little embarassing to admit, but I took great lessons from this season in my life. One is that it's always best to part on good terms if it's possible, and I'm glad the pastors are doing that. I want them to move on through life with good memories and relationships at Mt. Tabor and I hope the experiences they've had with our congregation have been strong, positive ones that have prepared and built them up for what comes next. I don't want them wondering if they took anything from this experience but building up some job skills for the next step and nothing that fed them emotionally or spiritually, as I wonder about the last place where I worked. I hope we were more than a stepping stone and that we have enriched their soul and their lives in a significant way. But most of all, I don't want them walking away saying "Whew! Thank God THAT'S over!" I want them happy - with what they've had here, what they've accomplished, and what's ahead.
So to Pastor Paul and Pastor Ryan, I say Godspeed. I'm honored that you were a member of our congregation and our families for these years and I'm happy that the Lord has opened new challenges and opportunities to you. I wish you success, happiness, prosperity and joy on the journey. Perhaps our paths will cross again. Life is funny that way. You never know.
Oh by the way, I learned something else about myself two years ago. I have a good work ethic, but if you piss me off I can not only get nasty back, but I can get darn lazy too. It's amazing how you can find better things to do with your time when you just don't care anymore.
That's all for today. Take care and have a good week.
Bye!
I wanted to take this time to give a special shout out to my current employer and colleagues. Tomorrow will be a year since I was transferred to your Department. Words simply can't express how much I appreciate your kindness and patience. It takes a tremendous leap of faith to accept two licensure programs that have been in existance for 35 years, and an even greater leap of faith to accept an employee with those programs that you did not hire and had no choice but to accept with the programs.
I thank you not only for this, but for the way you have unconditionally accepted me. You accepted me for who I was and have worked to discover my talents and to work with them. You have never put me down or made me feel bad for who I am. You have never made me feel like an outsider. You have never tried to hammer a square peg in a round hole - in fact, I haven't felt like a square peg since I moved here. You have done the one thing that my former colleagues couldn't do in over 12 years - you accepted me for who I am. Because of that, I feel I have accomplished more in the past 12 months than I have in the past 12 years combined. That's what happens when people have the right attitude and they care about doing things right for the benefit of all.
I know that my licensees, Board members, and council members thank you as well. You've been great. It's not perfect but we are committed to greater goals and never forget that. Our eyes are on the goal of providing the best we can. It's not about power trips or "putting people in their place." It's really and truly about what's best for all and helping people. That is what I signed on for all those years ago and it's so good to finally see it, at long last.
It's been a tremendous amount of work, but well worth it - and very successful with your help and guidance. We still have a way to go, but I have every faith that we will get there.
Thank you and bless you.
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