I had a mixed bag weekend – some good, some bad, some ups, and some stuff that outright pissed me off. But hey, no need to rehash, right? Instead I’ll offer some random musings from the weekend, and beyond (specifically, today). 

To my friends in real life and online, I say thanks for your kindness and patience. You know that Rick and I have been adjusting to changes in our jobs and that’s always challenging. We’ve needed an extra measure of grace and patience and you have been a blessing to us with your grace and kindness. God bless you for sticking it out. May I show the same grace, kindness and mercy to you in your hour of need. If by chance I don’t, kick me in the rear and remind me. Really, sometimes I can get so absorbed into home/family/work/life that I miss things that are happening right next to me, so jab me with an elbow every now and then if I wander off for too long. 

To those that have been getting in touch with their inner jerk and have shown us no such patience or understanding and have  kept right on demanding and being their bad selves, thank for feeding my muse.
I was stuck on amping up “show don’t tell” spirits in Move and thanks be to God, now I know exactly how to fix this up right. So thanks. Oh come on, I’m a writer! Please, don’t act surprised. Fiction comes from reality folks – if you didn’t know that then welcome to an uncomfortable truth. All writers do it. And be glad, because revenge turns nasty. You should be glad writers will channel it to their muse instead of taking it into reality. Because reality beats you bad enough. No need to help it out.

 Actions have consequences, you know, and I’m out of the business of trying to protect people from them. I try to help and support others, but if you say “praise the Lord! God bless you!” and then you lie, or you’re rude, you
try to manipulate people through guilt or favors, or you belittle or try to shame people, then nobody can hear the praise coming out of your mouth because they’re too busy gawking at the devil riding you like Harry Potter rides a broom during a Quiddish match. I shared a musing on Twitter yesterday about how somebody talked about giving, then criticized others that were trying to help them for not doing good enough. Here’s the response I got:

Six day sinners; one day saints. 

Ouch. But you know what? My agnostic friend is right. I can’t defend that. I had to say yep, you’re right. Just play-acting and no real fruit of the spirit there.

By the way, folks, that’s an easy litmus test to see if somebody is acting in true faith or if it’s nothing but “eternity’s fire insurance.” Look for the fruits of the Spirit in their life as described in Galatians 5:22 which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Obviously nobody
has all of these in abundance in their life and there are areas where we all struggle, but you should see more there than missing in these qualities if they have a true, Spirit based life. 

Personally, it’s gentleness that I struggle with. I just want to kick everything in the rear until it gets in order. I have a low tolerance for crap and shenanagins and don’t want to waste my time playing games and messing
around when it’s more efficient to just do things right the first time. But that’s just me. 

But back to my point – if a person is singing praises all day but they’re always frantic and struggling with
problems and are in turmoil and conflict, well, there’s your sign. Likewise if nothing’s ever good enough. We all have problems and sometimes it’s easier to deal with them than others. We all need grace from time to time. It’s when it becomes a constant cycle of drama that it might behoove you to tread carefully. Or run like hell. It depends on the person and the situation.

Well, now I know. Once again, those that are true are confirmed and the rotten fruit started to stink. It happens from time to time. Such is the nature of life. What can you do? Take the lesson, make wise decisions, and move on.   

I'll admit that I'm frustrated. I'm tired, I'm aggrivated, and my patience is pretty much shot - and Rick's in the same place I am because we've faced the same things here and he shares my sentiments. Right now, the less people ask of us, the better.The ones that don't add to our load right now with invitations, "hey, how about we schedulethis or that"  and "please help!" will win our respect and our good graces the fastest because we're up to our eyeballs and trying to keep our heads above water right now, and we really don't need an anchor thrown at us.  The good friends I described above are being respectful of that, and I so appreciate them. You know who you are because I've given you mentions and shout outs on social media. If others wonder how people wound out on that list, well, this is how. Again, not rocket science.

As for the rest, the damage is done and now there's nothing for it but to clean it up and move on. I’m grateful for what’s true and have corrected what slipped out of line. And I got a heck of a boost to my muse too. Heh heh heh. 

That’s all for today. More later. Enjoy this video by my favorite band.

Bye!

 
 
I hate that song "When Peace Flows Like a River." It's a filthy lie.

I suppose that statement deserves an explanation, so here it is: I went to a funeral for a friend yesterday that died from cancer. It's the third friend I've lost to cancer in 18 months. To say I hope I never see the face of this ugly beast again would be an understatement.

Anyway, they seem to love this hymn at funerals. There's just one problem: No, it's not well with my soul. I don't understand why three people I know had to suffer like this. They were good people. They wanted to live. It seems so unfair that their lives were cut short when I look around and see people that don't appreciate a thing - or that play hard and fast, like they don't care about putting themselves or others in danger - and they keep going on and on. 

I hate that hymn because it's arrogant and it's a lie. Are you ok with anything that happens? Life can whollop you and it's just "well, praise God and glory be." No folks, not in the real world. Real people get frustrated. Real people get angry. Real people are confused and hurt and don't understand. I'll admit that I'm a real person and my soul's got problems. I don't get it. In fact, there's a lot I don't get.

Another reason I don't like this song is because it implies that faith means never questioning anything - just blind acceptance. You can reason out everything, even if the reason is simply "it's God's will." While that is true, and I suppose it all does boil down to that, it's been my experience that human beings aren't that simplistic. We do try to understand. We do ask questions. We do get frustrated and angry in our confusion and lack of understanding. It is through these struggles that we find what faith really is: Not a lack of questions, but an acceptance that we won't have most of the answers. That in the grand scheme of things it does make sense, and being ok with the fact that only God may know how it fits into that scheme. And most importantly, to realize that it's ok to not have the answers or to work through whatever processes we need to work through to get to this acceptance.

That's where I'm at. My soul does hurt, and it's confused. I know all three of them are at peace now, and that there's a greater plan that I won't see this side of Heaven. Intellecutally, it's there. Emotionally, I'm still on the journey to that point. I miss them and those absences do hurt. It's hard to remember that they won't walk through that door at church Sunday morning any more, that they won't be at that committee function or in Sunday School or passing by at functions with their cheerful smiles. The reality that they're gone and never coming back is still stinging. And I don't think there's a thing wrong with that sting. It means I feel. It means I'm still human. It means I'm still alive.

So no, it's not well with my soul, and I'm ok with admitting that. My soul is hurt and it needs to heal. I know the truth and accept it, but I'm just going to have to work through that process to get these pesky emotions at that same level. And I don't think I'm alone. Many others are on that same journey. I have plenty of company on this road. My comfort is that tomorrow is a new day. New mercies every morning. Great is thy faithfulness.

Now that's one I can live with.

That's all today. Happy Friday to you tomorrow.

Bye!