I don't know about you, but I get frustrated with people that complain about their life all the time, but they do absolutely nothing to change the things that they complain about. Perhaps I'm oversimplifying things, but it seems that if you're truly miserable then you'd at least try to change the situation, right?

Well, I do but it seems I'm in a minority. It seems there are a lot of people out there that are comfortable with the ruts they're in. And I wonder, maybe, if they fear what it might mean to stick their necks out and pursue a change. After all, where they are might not be a "happy place," but it's familiar. There are a lot of people that fear change, and the unknown.

I know my recent experiences have shaded my perception in this area. I used to fear change too. Yes, I was one of those complainers. My former boss found it quite amusing, in fact, But if she could see me now, she wouldn't know me. I've found  nothing but change around every corner for the past 2 years. I expect it now. In fact, now if it doesn't happen then I wonder what the hell's going on because something must not be right for things to stay the same for, oh, more than a little while. It's amazing how life and reality can beat the fear right out of you, and mold you into a whole new creation. I used to say "oh no!" to change. Now I say "so what?" It's pretty normal for me. And while I won't say that I'm fearless - yes, I do feel some anxiety over the unknown - I'm not frozen by it. I've seen my faith grow in proportion to the reality of my life and find myself much more flexible and less fearful than I used to be, even 3-5 years ago.

So I suppose that explains why I'm not very patient with complainers. I've been forced to adapt with change. With changes in my job. With changes in the family. With changes at church. With changes in my friends due to these transitions and losing 3 of them to cancer. Yes, I said I lost 3 friends to cancer. That was not a typo. And all in a period of 15 months while everything else in my life was looking like a clown's juggling act too. Maybe that explains why I was disgusted with hearing somebody earlier this week complaining about something bad that happened to them years ago - like over a decade ago. I was appalled. Either they have a very thin hide or their "life pain" file is at a low level that I envy. Life hasn't hesitated to beat me with a baseball bat from time to time, so I suppose I'm not very sympathetic to the delicate souls with low emotional resilience.

Honestly, though, I do think we get used to talking and talking and talking and not doing. I know I'm guilty, so I really can't point at the splinter in others' eyes when I have that log in my own. It's taken real life to show me that true value isn't in words, but in the actions that back them up. In fact, I was under a therapist for a while a few years back and one of the first things she told me is "don't listen to words, look at actions. People lie with their mouths, but they act on truth." Man, that got a lot of people in trouble with me. They did not appreciate that jewel of wisdom. But it also convicted me to look at the match between my own words and actions and lo and behold, I did see a rift. I've worked very hard over the past couple of years to be more mindful of this by ackowledging how I really think and feel, defining my true values and boundaries, and ensuring that my actions match my thoughts and words. It's not always easy because we live in a society that tells us to do whatever it takes to make others happy right now, and work around it later, but it's an easier way to live. And really, I believe it really makes having relationships with others easier too. I've noticed that my relationships have improved drastically since I was mindful of this. Of course, excercising discernment has also helped, but that's an entry for another day.

I guess I just wish that others were as honest with themselves and would do this kind of inner exploration. Look within and find the truth. When you complain, are you really unhappy? If so, you'll try to change it. Even the act of trying to change it will help make you happier because you know you're doing something, and doing something is always better than doing nothing. But if you aren't, then admit that you're temporarily frustrated, but that you still believe the benefits of whatever's pricking blood out of you now outweigh the frustration of piercing your emotions.

I think that in the end, it boils down with being honest with ourselves, and letting that trickle down into being  honest with others. And that always leads to better and more stable relationships. Anything built on truth will last.

That's all for today. Happy Friday to you. I hope you have a great weekend.

Bye!

I had an interesting revelation today. It seems that as my life progresses, I'm continually asked to rise to new levels. This is normal, I suppose. We're supposed to grow and learn so we become better people. That is, after all, the purpose in life, isn't it? To continue to grow into a better person?

I think it is, if we take these steps forward in an effort to rise to new levels; in essence to come closer to the creation God wants us to be. However, I believe there are also times when we're asked to rise to a new level for mere convenience - that is, because where we are isn't convenient to somebody else and our "moving up" or "moving on" is nothing more than putting us in a place that's convenient for someone else.

I suppose I find myself pondering this question because there's been a lot of talk recently on "change" and "responsibility" and what needs to be done to make things better in this tough economy. I even heard something about it on BBN's newscast today. Politicians are still bickering on what's the right way to get America back on track. The problem is, all of them have political agendas and they're scared of making the people funding their campaigns mad - so they dance around the special interest that keep them where they want to be, oftentimes at the expense of lower and middle class Americans.

It's not just an issue at the national level, but at a personal level as well. I've known people that were subjected to job transfers not because of their skills or abilities, but because they ticked the wrong person off and they had to be shuffled because they were the lower person on the totem poll. And they didn't benefit from the change at all. In fact, it was usually a source of anger and frustration, with no personal development whatsoever.

I suppose the real issue here is that we need to explore our motives for why we do what we do. Is it right? Is it for the greater good? Is it for a purpose? And most importantly, is there an honest and pure motive for it? That last question is key, because if your motives are wrong then there's no way things can work out right.

Personally, I want to rise to the level of my best self - not the level where others find it convenient for me to be for their own selfish purposes.

See, this is what happens when I start paying attention to the news again - these entries get deep!

That's all tonight. I hope you're having a good week and that it wraps up well for you. Take care and stay well.

Bye!