I’ve had 2 people ask me if I miss working at my old department this week. I could understand if one person asked, but to have 2 people ask from completely different places does make it seem a bit odd. Another thing that makes it odd is that I was transferred almost 2 years ago. It seems to me that I wouldn’t be psychologically stable if I hadn’t adjusted to my current department in such a long period of time. But one of them pressed on and asked if I missed anything about the former place.
At that point, I naturally wondered if I was being baited for some reason. I honestly told them that I did have a couple of friends that I missed from time to time when I saw or heard things that reminded me of them, but the overall answer to the question is that I’m happy where I’m at and I wouldn’t go back even if I could. This is where I am, this is where I belong, and I’m 100% ok and happy with it.
It was a curious question, but I think I made a good admission. Things are always passing in and out of our lives, and it’s natural that we will miss some things. We miss people that have passed away or whose paths have diverged from our own. It’s natural to be nostalgic for what was from time to time and to miss things that have passed us by. And, of course, there are those “little blessings” along the way that we miss – things so little that sometimes we don’t realize it until they’re gone. For example, I miss:
1. My parakeets. Zack, Chloe and Ollie aren’t the first birds I’ve had. When I was in my teens, I had 3 budgies named Petsy, Samson, and Delilah. Funny thing is, I came upon them much the same as I came upon my current 3: We bought Samson, decided he was lonely so we got Delilah, and then adopted Petsy from my great-aunt when she had to go in a nursing home with Alzheimers. (Remember we got Zack, he got lonely so we got Chloe, then they found Ollie at Rick’s work and we wound out keeping him too.) Like our current 3, they each had a unique personality and were full of personality and spunk. They died in 1996 rather close together – Delilah of an infection in August, Petsy of pneumonia in October, and Samson probably died of heart failure (he was 13) two weeks after Petsy. I was so hurt when they died that I said “never again” to pets. Yea, right. We got Zack in 2000, and after we got Chloe and Ollie in 2010 I finally admitted that I’ll always have birds and will clean cages for the rest of my life. See http://conurecorner.weebly.com
for more on my current flock. They even have a blog!
2. My 1993 Dodge Daytona. We all have that one car that’s just perfect, and this was mine: a metallic blue sports car I got just before high school graduation. I got it brand new and absolutely loved it. I drove it until late 2006 when someone hit me in the parking garage at work. Although it wasn’t a bad accident, the damage was bad enough that they couldn’t 100% fix it, especially since the last Daytona’s were made in 1994 and replacement parts were becoming scarce. I now drive a 2006 Grand Prix. I like it and am very satisfied with it, but it just doesn’t have that same “zing” that the Daytona had. And ironically, Pontiac died a few years after I got the Grand Prix – so it seems that whatever car I buy is doomed to be discontinued or the dealer will shut down altogether. Looks like the chances of me being a repeat customer are slim with this track record.
3. Cross stitching. A friend at my former workplace taught me how to cross stitch in 2004 and I absolutely loved it. I even got adventurous and did a large pattern of a dragon and wizard, which I entered in the 2009 State Fair. I didn’t win anything, but it’s still hanging over my mantle and I get a lot of compliments on it. I did a few projects after the dragon, including one of Jesus that graces our entry way, but getting published required more of my time because I had to add doing publicity to my already full schedule with a full time job, home, family, work, writing, and church activities. I had to cut several hobbies and I finally had to make the painful decision that this one had to go on an indefinite hiatus while I build up my writing. I fully intend to take it up again someday when my life is less busy but for now, I’m focused on building my lifelong dream of being a good, well-respected novelist.
4. Smallville and Supernatural on Thursday nights. Ok, it’s not so much the shows themselves as it is that we
designated Thursday night as our “TV Night” every week. It was very nice to have both shows that we watch come on back to back on the same night. Smallville wrapped up after 10 years last season, Supernatural comes on Fridays now, and the new show that we watch, “The Secret Circle” comes on Thursday nights. At any rate, I discovered that I’m usually done with household stuff and writing by 9PM, so having the shows on separate nights doesn’t crimp my style at all. And, as I said, we can always make Friday our TV night with the advantage of DVR, although it’s not completely the same.
5. Free time in the afternoon on weekdays. Wow, I didn’t appreciate what a precious gift that was until I graduated from college and was in a full time job. It’s rare too, only enjoyed by those in school and retirees. That was truly a “don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”situation for me. I fully appreciate it on days off, vacations and even sick days now.
And come to think of it, I missed one with that person I talked to about my former job. It’s not just the friends I miss. I also miss those outstanding ham subs they made in the canteen on Tuesdays and Fridays. I’ve checked everywhere and I’ve found close, but not as good as that!
The point is that I believe it’s natural to miss things with the changing nature of life, and that’s ok. Life takes us through many paths and seasons and it adds to the richness of our experiences. But we also need to be mindful of where we are and enjoy the blessings that we have, because you never know when things will change – and sometimes, things change quickly and with little warning. So be grateful for those things that have blessed you, but don’t live in the past. They added to who you are so you can appreciate the present.
That’s all for today. Happy Friday to you, and I hope you have a great weekend.
Ok everybody, to be fair and not look like a totally arrogant, ungrateful lout I will admit that a total life makeover does not leave one unscathed. I have gained a lot from my recent life transitions, but there are some things that I do miss. I did have a couple of friends at my old job that I still miss talking to on a regular basis. I've met a lot of great people and made new friends, but they were unique and obviously people can't be replaced. I also miss those great places for walking during lunch breaks, shorter (and MUCH less frequent) meetings, and ham subs. Oh man, I haven't found subs as good as that canteen makes them anywhere and believe me, I've looked. I also had a bigger office space at the old place. But then again, they made me keep all those paper files and now that I'm at a place where we digitize everything, I don't NEED as much office space. It's a trade off.
And I think that's exactly the point that helped me transition. For all I miss that was left behind, I see that other things were gained. I lost great walking places and fantastic ham subs, but I found a lower gas bill (from my shorter commute) and vanilla lattes. I miss my covered parking spot, but I don't have to pay for a parking spot any more (hense, more saved money). My job is busier and more complicated, but it keeps me so much more engaged than it used to. It's all about trade offs. Sure I miss the blessings of yesterday, but I'm not blind to the blessings of today. In fact, missing those very things are what taught me to appreciate what I have RIGHT NOW. Because things can change in the blink of an eye. So appreciate what you've got and work with it, because nothing is permanant.
I suppose the whole point harkens back to something I mentioned yesterday. Change isn't good or bad, it's a mechanism that can be used for progress. You just have to know how to use it. Like any resource, it can work for good or ill. It depends on your own effort and intent - on what you want and directing your energy to the right places. You can cling to the past and dig your own rut lamenting what's passed from your life, or you can work with the change and maximize opportunities for progress. The choice is yours.
In closing, I would like to say that in discussing this situation I realized two lessons from this adventure:
1. Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons; and
2. If you dare to meddle in business that's not yours, you better make darn sure you know WHO the dragons are. Because it's awkward to find that what you assumed was a hatchling is breathing more fire than can. Oops.Change can have that uncomfortable side effect.
With that, I deem that it's time to let this situation go. It's been discussed with the appropriate parties and we are on our way to salvaging the situation. So it's time to move on. Because another thing I've learned is that dwelling on wrongs does no good. Vent if you must, strategize, solve and move on. We're in that process and on our way.
That's all. More later. Happy Friday tomorrow.
Hi folks, it's me today. No, I'm not taking creative license by handing over my blog to my writing characters or my birds, and it's not part of the blog series. Today it's me here with real life, which is the stuff that blogs are made for. And today, I have a life lesson for you.
Did you know that truth always reveals itself? It seems that a lot of people don't. But some truths that have been carefully hidden for 3 years came flying out today. Yep, the masks fell away and people saw the nasty, ugly reality, complete with crumbs, dust bunnies, dead bugs and all.
The short version of this story is that I was asked some questions about the last place I was at today - detailed questions, complete with names and all. And I told the truth, which was unflattering to some people in my past. Oh well. They were warned. That's what happens when you try to brainwash people and the one thorn you could never quite "get fixed" gets away.
Yes, that's right. I said "brainwashed." It was a place where that was how the entire culture was defined. Everybody had their place and by golly, you stayed there "or else." The problem with that kind of mentality is that you always run across those strong, independent types that refuse to be told what to think. I was one of them and now, I see that it was the root of all my problems there. It wasn't personality conflicts, or fear over what wasn't understood - it was that they couldn't control me, plain and simple. I just wouldn't "settle down" and tame my renegade spirit. I rocked too many boats.
Well, they're too cool to care, so none of this should be of any importance to them. And I'm gone, so it's the past and really of little consequence to me. I tell you this story to make a point. There are always people around that will try to brainwash you. Always people that are arrogant enough to believe that they can control you - and that you should listen to them. I say bah. That's just crap. I hope I gave those people hell with my independent spirit while I was there . And for anybody else in my life that has the audacity to try similar tricks on me, I say this story demonstrates one very important thing you better take note of: I have a foot, and I know how to put it squarely up your rear if you DARE to try to brainwash me. This isn't just throwning down the gauntlet. This is the Hammer of Thor coming right at you and it's in your face.
I have my own brain, thank you very much, and I know how to use it.If you don't like it, you can take your happy butt right out the same door you used to come into my life, because there's no place for you here. I've broken free of those leashes they tried to slap on me and I have no use for that kind of shallow mentality in my life. God removed me from it, and I thank Him every day for that deliverance!
Yes, I'm a huge fan of fiction, but I also have a foot in reality. I realize there's no such things as wizards, elves, hobbits, Jedi, Sith Lords, demi-gods, superhereos, or even gecos and ducks that sell insurance. The truth is that in reality, it's no huge secret to how to impress me. I'm no respecter of persons. Titles don't impress me. Positions don't intimidate me. Power doesn't dazzle me. There's one way to get my admiration and respect and everybody on Earth has an equal chance at it.
You have to be a decent human being. That's it. Plain and simple. Honesty and integrity will get you everywhere. Anything else is smoke and mirrors, and I don't like magic tricks.
The truth is that most people are smarter than you give them credit for being, but few have the courage to admit to what they truly think and stand up for integrity. People have a inherent sense of when they're being deceived and they always resent it, whether they act on it or not. Beware the ones that don't comply with conformity. They're the sandpaper that rub on the rough edges of arrogance. They're people like me. And there are more of them than you think. Those brainwashed worlds are, in reality, very small. The real world is much bigger.
That's my soapbox speech for today. Thanks for tuning in. Until next time ...
Hi all; I hope you're doing well and having a great week. I tried, I really did, but it just hasn't worked out so far.
The foot is healing, for which I am extremely grateful. I haven't been brave enough to get back on the treadmill yet. Maybe in another couple of days. Today is the first day I've gone the whole day without pain.
The rest of life, however, has been one for the "what the hell?" files (although that's not what we really call it but hey! I'm trying to maintain some sort of decency!). Work has been one thorny issue after another, all week long. I untangle one mess and here comes another. There must be some evil imp ravaging my cubicle. I think I beat most of it into submission today. *Hopefully,* and I say that in the "if the Lord wills and creeks don't rise" sense, I did manage to get things flowing properly, balls in other courts, and I made my final visit to the State House for a committee meeting for this session today. *Hopefully* As things have shown a tendency to unravel - or worse, to pull a phoenix and rise from the ashes - I'm not counting it done yet.
Then yesterday we got word that a friend at church lost her battle with pancreatic cancer yesterday. Don't worry, I'm not going to put you through those musings again. We went through this - oh wait! Exactly a year ago today, when a friend at my former workplace died of THE VERY SAME THING!! There's much I don't understand and this scary timing is one more thing on the heap. But I suppose faith is about accepting that you don't have the answers and being ok with the questions. Or something like that.
I'm trying to find out how things keep getting past me. I don't know stuff that I usually find out without even trying. For example: Did you know the new Transformer's movie is coming out on July 1st? I knew they were making one but had no idea it was done. I also didn't know that they moved a new deposit machine just up the hall from my cubicle, that several files I've been looking for are in the cabinet right next to my desk, that you can get Microsoft Office for iPads, that the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out last weekend, that "True Grit" was a remake, that they were thinking about extending the legislative session, or that there's an old wives tale about more people dying in the spring because of something with the sap in the trees (another one for the "what the...? files). I think I've been working too hard and too much. Yes, I've had problems with my mind wandering lately, but this is ridiculous. I definitely need to take a break this weekend. No writing, chores, errands, visiting, volunteering, or anything.
So here I sit with all these questions and more. Like why does my parakeet sing like a canary? Why does my computer smell like my perfume (that never gets near this machine)? How did Zack chew curtains that are nowhere near his cage? Why did Chloe growl at me when I got home? What is going on with this crazy, hot weather? And many, many more.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is life in the rabbit hole! Hmm. I sense inspiration for short stories in my future. Life like this is the catalyst for it.
Well, my brain is fried so it's time to go. I hope you have a Happy Friday tomorrow. Heck, I hope I have a Happy Friday tomorrow either. It's been a challenging week, but I'm not giving up on having at least one good day in it.